I was helping Big Mac and his family make cider for a thing that was apparently a big deal. He'd asked for my help because they never make enough and Applejack is such a stubborn bitch that she would never ask for help. It only took a couple of hours to make enough barrels for the entire town, plus a few extra.

"Thanks, Cloud," thanked Mac, as I prepared to fly back to the library. I was carrying a barrel of cider that he'd given to me as payment.

"No problem," I replied. "I'd have done it faster, but transmutation doesn't change flavours."

"Ah don' know wha' tha' is, but okay." I flew back to the library and got some sleep.

I was taking a walk when I happened upon the Apple family's stall for the cider. Suddenly, a big train thingy pulled up next to it and two Ponies from out of town hopped off and started singing to music that spontaneously started. Because why would anything else happen?

"Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine, it's the same in every town," sang the one without a stache. "Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of cider to be found. Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair."

"That the key that they need to solve this sad cider shortage you and I will share!" Sang the stache faced one. The audience (consisting of the entire town) started squealing in excitement.

"Well you've got opportunity, in this very community!"

"He's Flim,"

"He's Flam,"

"We're the world famous Flim Flam Brothers! Traveling sales-ponies nonpareil!"

"Non-pa-what?" Asked Pinkie.

"Nonpareil, and that's exactly the reason why, you see! Nopony else in this whole place will give you such a chance to be where you need to be! And that's a new world, with tons of cider, fresh squeezed and ready for drinking!"

"More cider than you could drink in all your days of thinking!"

"I doubt that," stated Rainbow. It was at this point when Vesper flew into the area where they were singing and dancing.

"Would you both shut up for me please?" Sang Vesper. "Before I brake all of your knees!"

"She will," I stated.

"She can," added Watcher.

"'Cause I'm bucked up like my mother!"

"A sociopath who is nonpareil."

"Before you do that, let me tell you, about our mode of transport."

"I say, our mode of locomotion!"

"And I suppose by now you're wondering, where is this promised cider?"

"Any Horse can make a claim and any Pony can do the same..."

"But my brother and I have something most unique and superb! Unseen at any time in this big new world!"

"And that's opportunity!"

"Folks, it's the one and only, the biggest and the best!"

"The unbelievable!"

"Unimpeachable!"

"Indispensable!"

"I'm-gonna-break-your-knees-able!"

"Flim Flam Brothers' Super Speedy Cider- ARGH! ARGH! MY LEGS!"

"Holy buck, you snapped his legs!"

"I warned you, you hairy faced sleaze! Now I've broken your brothers knees!"

"She warned you, man, now we'll see if Cloud can, heal your brother's legs so he can again stand, but this time; heed her warning." They suddenly stopped singing on tune, probably for the bridge.

"Young filly, you are messed up beyond belief!" Exclaimed Flim. "What in Celestia's name is wrong with you?!"

"No, really, stop pissing her off," I warned him. "It won't be your legs she breaks next time."

"You're right!" Exclaimed Flam. "It'll be rocks in the prison I'll have her sent to!" The audience started singing.

"Servitudity! To the community!"

"Sorry, Flim."

"Sorry, Flam."

"You're becoming spam."

"To show all of these Ponies what happens when you insult her."

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!"

"It's too late, my friends."

"The fun begins!" I broke tune to say a quick warning.

"Now, here's where some murder's gonna happen. Anypony that's sensitive to seeing that sort of thing should run away now, it's gonna get messy. If anypony ever talks to her badly, Vesper will attack you. If you're going to watch, keep that in mind and stay quiet. Although, why would you want to watch this anyway? I don't even know."

"Those broken legs were a sneak peek!"

"Now wait, you youngins, hold it!" Sang Granny Smith. "You went and over-told it! I guarantee that what you have there won't compare, to what you have been sayin' an' makin' us prayin'-"

"Shut up, you greenish mare! Neither of us really care!"

"Now, brother, I'm glad you brought that up, good chap, I say I'm glad you brought that up. You see that we are very tricky when it comes to threats, they'll soon be shutting up."

"Sorry, Sirs, sorry, Ma'am, but Vesper can brake all your bones and make you spam."

"So what d'ya say then, brothers? Want to put me to the test? To see if I'll kill all the Ponies that insult me and then maybe leave the rest?!"

"What do you think, folks? Do you think that Vesper can't? I see it clear as day! I know she can! So does he! C'mon, Ponyville, you know what I'm talking about!"

"We're saying she will brake all of your knees, then piss on what you use to see!"

"I will and can!"

"'Cause she's bucked up like her mother!"

"I'm a sociopath that is nonpareil!"

"ARGH!"

The three of us took a bow, stepped over the bloody carcases of the sales-ponies, and headed back to the library.

Author's Notes:

I don't even know