We were on a train heading to a desert town called 'Appleloosa' to deliver a tree to Applejack's cousin. We had been on the train all day. This wouldn't have been too bad (I had books to read), but then Pinkie got bored and ate the cleaning products. Long story short, it was a stressful journey. Now Rarity, Spike and I were trying to sleep but the others weren't making it easy.

"Ugh..." groaned Spike, "do you guys mind? I was up early fire-roasting those snacks you're all eating, and I'm pooped!"

"Speaking of," bitched Rainbitch, "some of these popcorn kernels didn't get popped."

"Okay, fine." He let out a blast of fire that incinerated her popcorn.

"Nice shot," I said tiredly.

"Thanks, Cloud. Goodnight."

"Night."

"Maybe it's time we all got a little shut-eye," Said Twilight. "We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow." The others complained as Twilight put out the lamp.

"Psst! Pinkie Pie," bitched Rainbitch, "you asle-?" I cast a muting spell on her before she could finish.

"No," replied Pinkie, "are you asle-" I muted Pinkie as well.

"What's goin-?" Twilight tried to ask before I muted her.

"Girls, what's-" Fluttershy was muted.

"Are you all gonna shut up now, or should I keep muting you?" I un-muted Twilight.

"We were just-"

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Exclaimed Spike, grabbing his pillow and heading into the back compartment where the tree was.

"Well that was kind of hu-" Twilight was re-muted. I cast a sleep spell on myself.

I was woken by rumbling and crashing.

"For buck's sake, ponies, LET ME SLEEP!" I yelled.

"A buffalo stampede!" Exclaimed a voice I couldn't be bothered to recognise.

"I don't bucking care! Shut up and let me sleep!"

"I just love their accessories!"

"SHUT UP! I NEED TO SLEEP!"

"They're getting awfully close to the train..." There was a sudden bash against the train, throwing me out of bed. I looked out of a window, writhing with anger. The buffalo were attacking the train. After some acrobatics, one got up onto the roof. I summoned a Support Circle, opened the train door and flew out to stop the attack in my tired, crazy state. I went after the small one on the roof first, flying in front of her to get her attention.

"STOP NOW OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!" I yelled at her. She looked a bit surprised at my arrival but ignored my words and continued to run towards me. "I BUCKING WARNED YOU!" I waited for her to get close to me, then threw a punch towards her face. She leaped over me, avoiding my attack. I zoomed close behind her and tried to hit her in the back of her head but she avoided my attack again and bucked me in the face. "OH NOW IT'S BUCKING ON!" She jumped down into a gap and detached the last compartment. The buffalo that were charging turned around and started pushing it away from the rest of the train. "NOPE!" I lifted the entire thing with my magic and re-attached it to the train.

The buffalo on top of the train looked pissed. She charged at me, swinging a punch. I ducked under it and countered with an uppercut. While she was stunned, I grabbed her with telekinesis and threw her into an oncoming sign next to the train track. She didn't get up. I flew up a little to get a good view of the buffalo that were ramming the train. They were now focusing on only the last compartment, and they were doing some serious damage.

"I BUCKING WARNED YOU!" I yelled crazily as I fired magic bolts into the crowd, each one taking out a buffalo in a single hit. Soon, none remained. I flew back into the train and went back to sleep.

I'd woken up a few minutes before we arrived in Appleloosa. After the train pulled into the station we were greeted by Applejack's annoying cousin Braeburn. He had a hat and a jacket-y thing. He started to show the others around, not noticing me sneaking away to the bar. I'd only gotten down one bottle of cider before Twilight came storming into the bar looking for me.

"Cloud!" She shouted at me as she marched over to me, "what are you doing here?! Braeburn wanted to talk to you!" I took a swig of cider.

"Braeburn was rambling annoyingly," I replied, "so now I'm getting drunk."

"It's the middle of the day!"

"Exactly. I wont be woken up by a hangover."

"But- Urgh!" She facehoofed, "Braeburn needs to talk to you about the buffalo; they've been harassing the Appleloosans and trying to get rid of the town entirely!"

"So...? Does he want me to kill all them or what?"

"K-Kill them?!"

"Yeah, kill them. I'm not good with diplomacy and the easiest way to deal will a problem is to explode it with magic. I gave the ones this morning a chance anyway, they continued to attack us so I defended. With deadly magical attacks."

"Violence is never the answer! We've got to find a diplomatic solution!"

"Would you stop shouting already? You're getting weird looks." She looked around to see if I was right. I was.

"Cloud," she said in a forced calm tone.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Fix this without using violence."

"Why do I have to do it?! I didn't even wanna come here-"

"Because you killing their attack force has made the situation worse!"

"I didn't kill all of them! Probably..."

"Cloud! You're only making the situation worse by not acting!"

"Fine! I'll fix the problem!" I flung some money onto the counter to pay for my drinks and headed towards the exit.

"And don't use violence!"

"Alright! Jeez! I'll only be violent if I really have to be!" I summoned a Support Circle and flew off to find the tribe of buffalo.

It took about thirty minutes to find their camp. There wasn't much to it, just a bunch of tents around a firepit. Or campfire. I couldn't really tell, but it was a fire thing. Anyway, I flew to the camp and asked for an audience with their leader. They tied me up and threw me into a cage. I didn't bother stopping them, I could break out at any time I wanted and tying me up made them feel more empowered. The more they felt that they were in control, the easier it would be to trick or reason with them. After about an hour of waiting their chief came to question me. They most likely left me to try and intimidate me. It makes them seem more incompetent than intimidating. The chief will most likely put on a 'tough guy' act. He'll want me to feel weaker than him so I'll say what he wants to hear. Don't you normally criticize me for explaining my plans to myself?

"I am Chief Thunderhooves!" Bellowed the chief, trying to look intimidating.

"Hello," I replied.

"We are a great tribe of buffalo, greater than any of you weak ponies. Even so, you attack us, build over our sacred grounds and invade our camp!"

"When did we attack you?"

"We were attacked when we tried to kill the metal demon carrying the cursed apple tree. My warriors say that you were the pony that attacked us, is this true?"

"You attacked us first, you piece of shit! I gave you all a chance to stop attacking and you spat in my face! I was defending me and my friends while your warriors tried to kill us all by derailing the train!"

"You dare speak to me that way, you puny, stick-headed fool?! My warriors did not strike first, nor did they receive what you call 'a chance to stop'!"

"Why don't you take that dick out of your ass and see that your men are lying? For buck's sake, that's not even what I'm here for; you've been terrorizing Appleloosa and I've been sent to stop you. So are we going to negotiate or do you want your brain melted?"

"Brain melting?! You could do no such thing!"

"Bucking negotiate already!"

"I shall not negotiate with a creature as pathetic as you, you shall be killed for your words against me!" He turned and started to leave.

"Wait! I challenge your greatest warrior to a fight to the death!" That stopped him in his tracks. There was a moment of silence before he turned to face me again.

"You think you could stand a chance against my greatest warrior?"

"If I win, you stop obsessing over Appleloosa and find somewhere else. If they win, Appleloosa gets destroyed and you have your sacred grounds back and the pony that dishonored you will be dead."

"If I accept, how do I know you will uphold your end of the deal?"

"Ponies are obsessed with friendship and trust. If there's one thing I am, it's trustworthy." And lying apparently. This guy's easy. He thought for a few seconds before deciding on his answer.

"Fine. We will meet on the southern outskirts of Appleloosa at noon tomorrow."

"Deal."

"You did what?!" Screamed Twilight. I was at the inn in Appleloosa and I had just explained to Twilight what had happened. She wasn't taking the news too well. "I told you to solve this without violence!"

"This way I only have to kill one, so it's better than normal," I reasoned.

"Better than normal?! When have you ever killed something as a solution before?!"

"Remember the Diamond Dogs a couple of weeks ago? Where did you think all that blood came from?" Twilight's face went to an interesting shade of green.

"Y-You actually killed them..."

"The Dogs were slavers. They broke families, ruined lives and probably raped as well. They were planning to take over Ponyville, I would have dealt with them anyway in the long run. I was doing the world a favour."

"You're a monster..."

"...Who has saved everypony in Ponyville a few times over. Actually, Nightmare wanted eternal darkness everywhere, so the world as well."

"I think I'm going to be sick..." I sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? If I hadn't done what I did, innocent Ponies would have died and the rest would be scarred for the rest of their lives." Which probably wouldn't be that long in the hooves of slavers... Twilight was quiet. "So what sort of weapons will the buffalo be packing?" It doesn't really matter, I can just crush whatever it is with my magic. Twilight was quiet for a few more moments before replying to my question.

"Most likely spears of some kind," she explained with a shaky voice, "they could attach them to themselves in a way so that when they charge, you'll get stabbed by them. You should also look out for their horns. I'm not sure what armour they will have, if any."

"Okay, so their charge is the main concern... Thanks, Twilight. I'm gonna get some rest." I headed to my room to sleep. She's so damn pissed at me, why can't she see that the Dogs were destroying innocent lives? The fight should be incredibly easy. Then I can go back to Ponyville and out of this damn desert.

Noon had arrived. I was waiting on the outskirts of the town as arranged, wearing a stetson Braeburn had given to me as a good luck charm. My friends along with Rainbitch and the townsfolk were standing a few meters behind me, here to watch the fight. This fight should be over before it even begins. Their main way of attacking is using their momentum, so levitating them would be the best way to immobilize them for my attacks. Well, that's if a single magic bolt isn't enough. I know this fight's gonna be easy, so why do a have a bad feeling about it?

The buffalo soon arrived. There were about ten of them in a shape surrounding something I couldn't see, with Thunderhooves in the lead.

"It is time for our champion to defeat you, stick-headed pony," said Thunderhooves. I cracked my neck.

"Time to get you to leave Appleloosa alone," I replied. "Once and for all."

"You cannot defeat our champion. Surrender now and I will allow you to live."

"I think you'll find you're wrong."

"You think your pathetic magic tricks can stop our champion? You are foolish."

"Ditto, mate. My magic's an unstoppable frenzy of death." Thunderhooves grunted.

"We'll see, Stick-Head." He walked back, motioning to the other buffalo to move behind whatever they were surrounding. As they moved back they revealed what they had been hiding; a large buffalo covered in golden armour. He had two large gold-tipped spears attached to the front of him as Twilight had predicted. He thinks some glorified armour is gonna help him?

"Well then, Mr buffalo?" Asked Braeburn, "are y'all ready for th' fight to start?"

"Yes," Thunderhooves pointed to Braeburn, "are you also?" A nod from Braeburn made Thunderhooves shout what he said next. "Let the fight begin!"

The champion charged towards me as I fired a big magic bolt directly towards him. It hit him- Wait, w-what?! The bolt was absorbed by the armour and the champion didn't even flinch. I quickly summoned a Support Circle and flew upwards to avoid his charge.

"Cloud!" Twilight shouted to me as the champion turned and looked up at me, "gold absorbs magic! Your normal attacks wont do anything to him!" WHAT?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ATTACK HIM?! The champion took the distraction of Twilight telling me this to throw his spears at me. The first I dodged entirely, but the second stabbed me in the left foreleg, snapping the bone. I screamed in pain as I felt my magic sapping away. My Support Circle shattered beneath me and I fell to the ground, taking even more damage. I tore the spear from me as fast as I could and used the little magic I had to repair the broken bone.

I looked up to see the champion charging at me again. What the buck do I do?! Move to the side at the last second! He wont be able to turn quickly! At the last possible second, I rolled to the side. The champion ran straight past me before coming to a stop. I felt my magic returning. I wrapped magical bonds around my bloody leg to act as makeshift bandages and stood back up. The champion gave me the ultimate death stare and charged once again.

I tried casting a Force Barrier underneath him to flip him over but the gold absorbed everything, having no effect. I teleported behind him as he got close and tried some lightning. Still no effect. I haven't done anything to him! This time the champion didn't charge. He sprinted over to his fallen spears and went to grab them. I tried to throw them far away from him with telekinesis, but the gold absorbed everything once again. He grabbed his spears and reattached them, making his charge even more deadly than before. I teleported behind him again but this time he was ready for me, bucking me in the face. I went sprawling, sending my blood flying all over the ground.

My vision was blurred. I could hardly think straight. W-What am I supposed to do? None of my magic can get through that gold... I've got to think about this more logically. I need to get something through the armour, but nothing non-magic I can do would even dent it. Buck me, I know what I've got to do. I stood up and faced the champion. He stared deep into my eyes. If my idea failed, his next charge attack would kill me. I only had one shot at this. The champion charged towards me.

I waited until the champion started to get close to me then threw my hat towards his hooves. I focused as hard as I could and transmutated it into a hoofful of marbles. The champion slipped and went flying, landing on his side. I teleported next to him, tore his helmet off, stabbed him in the forehead with my horn and sent the biggest lightning bolt I'd ever created straight into his brain. For a second or two that seemed like eternity he screamed and writhed, trying to escape me. Then he stopped moving. Everypony was silent.

I had won.

Author's Notes:

I skipped 'Green Isn't Your Colour' because there wasn't anything interesting I could do with it.