With the Elements of Harmony restored, I was pretty much out of a job: Celestia didn't need my help with saving the world (from mostly myself) anymore. Life would probably be a lot more boring from now on.

After Twilight became a god (why do I keep thinking 'god' instead of 'goddess'? Because I have no proof that Luna is the only Alicorn with... More assets than the average Pony), she and Spike had moved back to Canterlot. I now owned the library. Vesper had claimed Twilight's old room, but kept her sex slave locked in the basement (until she wanted to use him). It had been about a week since Twilight moved out, but since she sent letters pretty much every day it was like she'd never left.

It was Saturday, so I was standing on a Support Circle wearing the scarf Rarity and Fluttershy had given me for my birthday as well as my enchanted saddlebags.

"Why are you even wearing the scarf?" Asked Vesper. "It's the middle of bucking summer."

"It's chilly out," I replied. "Plus it's a mountain city, if it's chilly here it'll be freezing there."

"Well, whatever. Good luck with step one."

"Step one?"

"Yeah, y'know, the rule of three?" I stared at her blankly. She rolled her eyes. "You can't get laid until the third date?"

"I've never heard of this before."

"You didn't have much chance to hear about it, to be fair..."

"What?" She sighed.

"Nothing..." Well, whatever.

"I'd better get going. It's already half six and it takes me an hour to fly there."

"I... Know? Why are you saying random information we both know and know that we both know?"

"In an alternate universe where this is some kind of story, it's convenient to the plot."

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Anyway; bye."

"See you later." I flew towards Canterlot.

"Violent, new customer out front," said Restaurant Manager.

"I'm on it," I replied. I went out to the front of the restaurant and saw Creepy Stalker and Yandere sitting at a table. Creepy waved at me. I rolled my eyes and went over to him. Of course he decides to do this today...

"Hey, sis," he greeted in a hushed tone.

"Hey, Creepy. Why are you-?" Before I could finish, he pulled a file out of his saddlebags.

"I've been looking into this guy you're gonna go out with." I sighed.

"Why did you bring Yandere with you?" Yandere looked up from stabbing her teddy bear and slowly tilted her head.

"I was picking her up from her friend's house. It was easier to come here before dropping her off. Anyway," he pushed the file towards me, "your date is weirder than he seems. It turns out that the weird things that you said he told you about aren't so weird for him." I frowned slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been looking into him, and I have good reason to believe he was the anonymous Pony that defeated Nightmare Moon." My eyes widened.

"What?"

"Not only that, but I think he also took out the leader of the army that invaded a few months back. It seems he meets with the Princesses on a regular basis, and until recently lived with Princess Twilight." There were a few seconds of quiet between us before I broke it with laughter.

"You can't be serious!" I laughed.

"Oh, but I am, Violent, I am indeed."

"Oh, Creepy, you have such a great sense of humor!"

"No, seriously, he-"

"Anyway, you need to take Yandere home so I can get back to work. I want to finish before he gets here." Creepy sighed.

"Fine. Do you have your key?"

"I don't think so. Can you tell Homicidal Maniac to keep the door unlocked for me?"

"Sure."

"Thanks. I'll see you two when the date's over!" Yandere picked up her bear with her mouth and they stood up.

"Bye, Violent." Yandere waved goodbye as they both left. I turned to go back inside when I noticed that Creepy had left the file on the table. I rolled my eyes and picked it up. Of course he left it. I'll ask Cashier Worker to keep this under the counter.

I was at Pizza Shit, Ponyville's best pizza parlour, eating a BBQ sauce pizza. Maybe I should get a new mattress, Twilight's is way too soft for me. I can't really bring up my old one, it's only designed for a single bed. But I'm not making enough bits doing random shit to afford it... I sighed. That settles it, I'm gonna have to get a job...

I heard the sound of the front door opening (coupled with a bell tinkling cutely) and running hooves. I looked in its direction and saw Derpy running towards me. She stopped just short of me.

"Where is Cloud?!" She asked with a shout. I frowned.

"Why?" I asked back. She quickly glanced around.

"Start a psychic link!"

"What?"

"Now!" I cast a psychic link spell. What? I'm an agent of the Princess, originally posted in Ponyville for security concerning Twilight Sparkle but kept here to relay information to Cloud Calculation. Wow, you think fast. I recently informed him of an unknown entity spreading fear via protected nightmares across Equestria. The Princess has strong reason to believe that the entity is about to unleash an attack on Canterlot using demonic based magic. Can the Elements be scrambled fast enough? No, but we know that Cloud can get there in an hour. He's the only defense we have that can get there fast enough, so we need to know where he is right now. I nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation.

He's already on his way there for a date. He left about half an hour ago. I'll leave immediately to warn him and provide support. What can you tell me about the attack? Nothing quick enough. I sighed.

"Fine." I ran outside and flew towards Canterlot on a Support Circle.

I landed not far from the restaurant and, after stretching out a little, continued on hoof. My endurance with flying has built up a lot over the past couple of months. I'm doing much better at flying here nowadays. Probably because I'm making this trip more and more often. It's pretty awesome!

I soon arrived at the restaurant and sat down at a table outside. Hey, maybe I should've thought about what we were actually gonna do... Hopefully Violent's planned ahead since I'm such a bucking- Wait, what's this? There was a sheet of parchment stuck under my chair. I teleported it into my hooves to see what it had written on it. Wait, what the...? Who's is this? And where did they get information this detailed?

I went outside to see to my next customer, but just happened to spot my date sitting at the same table Creepy and Yandere had been sitting at earlier. I walked over to him.

"Hi, Cloud!" I happily greeted.

"Hey, Violent," he replied.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, but I've still got a couple of things to-" I noticed he was floating some paper in just in front of him. Oh no, is that what I think it is...? "What's that?"

"I found it on the floor, under my chair." I facehoofed and sighed. It must have fallen out of the file... "Is this yours?" He motioned to the parchment. I shook my head.

"It's my brother's. Sorry about that, he's kind of obsessed with getting information on everything."

"He must have gotten information from loads of sources and combined them into this. There's no way he could've learnt this from a single Pony."

"Yeah, he's always saying 'a single source of information is poisoned by opinions and lies, so the only way to find real truths is to cross-reference different results until the truth is revealed'."

"It must have taken him a really long time to get this then."

"Actually, it only took him about six days."

"It only took him six days?! B-But this is the best pancake recipe I've ever seen!" Wait, what?

"Wait, pancakes?" Cloud grinned manically and stared at the paper with a strange look in his eye.

"I mean really; this is amazing! Can I borrow this?! Or copy it down or something?! This is incredible!"

"Um... Sure. Take it."

"Thanks!" After grinning at it for a few more seconds, Cloud put it into his saddlebags.

"I've just got a couple of things to do, I'll be with you in a few minutes." The strange look faded away.

"Okay." I went back inside.

I landed in Canterlot and fell onto my front. B-Bucking Tartarus... It's such a long bucking flight... I cast a detect magic spell as I lay there catching my breath. My magic was almost fully drained, so the range of the spell wasn't as good as it would normally be. I couldn't detect anything out of the ordinary, so I deactivated the spell as I tried to stand up.

I started a slow walk down the street, ignoring the strange looks nearby Ponies were giving me. Where the buck was that restaurant? After a few seconds I realised something. Wait, what was it called? I groaned. This is gonna take all bucking night...

Neither of us could think of what to do (although the dirtier part of my brain had a few ideas...) so we were just walking through the city and talking about stuff.

"So what do you do for a living?" Asked Violent.

"I usually just do any random small things I can find," I replied. "Although, I guess you could say I'm a professional world-saver. Well, not anymore since the Elements of Harmony have been restored..." Violent gave a me a confused look.

"What? What do you mean 'professional world-saver'?"

"It's a very long story. Most of it I don't even know."

"Why not?"

"About a year ago, on the day before the Summer Sun Celebration, I woke up in field with no memories other than my name and a couple of spells. Since then, I've learned that I'm apparently from a different universe and that I joined some sort of rebellion when I was young. Oh, and I can use magic that's incredibly difficult and rare in this universe." Violent gaped at me for a while.

"You... What?"

"Yeah, it's a lot to take in."

"Wait a minute..."

"What's wrong?"

"You wouldn't happen to be the Pony that defeated Nightmare Moon, would you?"

"Yep, that's me."

"And the Pony that defeated the leader of the Changeling army?" A shiver ran up my spine.

"Yeah..." We were both silent for a few minutes.

"...I don't know if I believe you..."

"Fair enough."

"Well it's mainly because- Wait, really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." There was an awkward silence. "Okay." Suddenly, Vesper exploded out of a building and dropped kicked me in the face before grabbing me and throwing me in the direction she came from. I crashed through some remains of a window and skidded across the pavement. Well, this is happening. I stood up and cast a healing spell as well as a pain numbing spell as I turned to the wreckage of the building just in time for Vesper to jump through and land next to me.

"Buck you too, Vesper."

"I was aiming for the demon!" She exclaimed angrily. I noticed she was covered in cuts and bruises and was bleeding lightly. "It moved out of the way in the last second and tried to blow me up!" Wait...

"What do mean 'demon'? And why did you throw me?!"

"I need your help! This thing is bucking tough!" Before I could ask what the buck she was talking about, I heard a ferocious roar from behind me. I spun around to see a demonic... Well, demon, bounding towards us. It looked like a mixture between a giant Minotaur and a giant Diamond Dog. It was a few shades of black and seemed to be vomiting shadow magic everywhere. I summoned a Support Circle and charged up my horn as Vesper flew upwards. I guess I'm fighting now. Weaknesses? I have no idea. Great.

I flew towards it. The demon tried to headbutt me, but I used it to my advantage and KC Punched it in the head. It was knocked back a little but quickly recovered and took a swipe at me with its right paw-thing. I dodged as Vesper slammed into its exposed shoulder as a living fireball. Huh. Cool. I don't think she's used that attack since the Colosseum.

The demon was thrown to the floor on its front as it grunted in pain. Vesper was flung in the opposite direction and landed on her back badly, causing her to cry out. I sped over to her and cast a pain numbing spell before healing her up.

"Thanks," she thanked.

"What the buck is going on?" I asked quickly as the demon climbed to its hooves.

"We're fighting a demon now!"

"I can see that! Why?!"

"Tell ya later!" She fired a Fire Bolt at the demon before teleporting behind it. The demon vomited a ball of shadow at the Fire Bolt, detonating it in the air. Vesper fired her blue beam of flames as I fired my red beam of electricity. The demon dived forward to avoid the two beams, but before they collided, I summoned two Shield Circles angled diagonally. The beams reflected off of the Shield Circles and shot towards the demon. Before they reached it, they magnetised towards each other and merged into a single beam!

The new beam smashed into the demon so hard that it blasted a hole right through it. The beams and the Circles deactivated as the demon fell onto its front. It seemed to melt into shadows before seeping into the ground. I teleported to Vesper.

"Okay," I said slowly, "that was bucking awesome."

"T-The beams..." She stammered. "They merged... Holy buck... That was awesome..."

"I think we should address the most important issue first: What do we call the double-beam attack?"

"How about the Fiery-Electric-Beam-Thingy?" I nodded.

"Sounds good." Oh shit, is Violent okay?! I flew back to where Vesper threw me to see Violent staring and gaping at the area we fought the demon. I landed next to her. "You okay?"

"That..." She whimpered. "Demon... Huh...?"

"Yeah, you'll be fine." I looked down. "Oh good, my scarf wasn't damaged. It must've fallen off when Vesper tackled me." I picked up my scarf and put it into my saddlebags.

"Cloud!" I heard a familiar voice shout. I turned to see Twilight running towards me, wings and all. She soon reached me, panting a little.

"Hey, Twilight. I see you're still a god."

"There's a demon attacking-!"

"Yeah, we just killed it." Vesper landed next to us.

"'Sup?" She asked.

"Wait, y-you killed it?!" Exclaimed Twilight. "But didn't you promise future you to never kill anything?!"

"To be fair, we weren't trying to kill it." I grinned. "It was worth breaking the promise anyway, it was bucking awesome! Our beams merged together and-!"

"Who's she?" Twilight motioned to Violent, still in shock.

"Oh, she's my date." Twilight's eyes widened as she gaped herself.

"Y-You went on a date?!"

"Why are you more shocked about that than the murder?"

"But... But it's you! Why in Tartarus did she say yes?!" I frowned slightly.

"Wow, feelings much? Anyway, she asked me out." She somehow gaped wider.

"WHAT?!"

"Anyway, I should probably take her to her home, she hasn't blinked in a while. I think she's in shock."

"But-!"

"See ya." I picked up Violent with telekinesis and started walking down the street.

"Uh, Princess Celestia wants all of us in the Crystal Empire tomorrow!"

"Okay."

Dad walked away down the street, carrying... Her in his magic.

"Vesper?" Asked Twilight. I turned to her.

"What?" I asked back.

"Can you come with me? I need to asked you about what happened."

"Well, I saw the demon and-"

"No, I mean about Cloud getting a date."

"Oh. Well, it is weirder." We started walking off in the opposite direction. "Well, back when I was a phoenix..."

Author's Notes:

...And that marks one hundred chapters. Dayum.
I wonder if we can get to one hundred and fifty before the end of the story?

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Homicidal Maniac, Creepy Stalker, Violent Rapist and Yandere. Their parents are dicks.

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I'm going to take a break from writing (a couple of weeks at most) because I'm starting to get burnt out again and my brain is running out of crap to shovel.
Still, a break every six months or so is a pretty good record.