“About an hour ago,” Pinkie Pie said, “Twelve Equestrians set off on the adventure of a lifetime, at least from the point of view of the ones who haven’t saved the world. The boat should be here any minute now. Anyway, you know how it works, survival skills, social skills, don’t tell me you haven’t seen some version of this before. Twenty-seven days, twelve plane crash survivors, one actual survivor!”

“And there’s the boat in the distance, taking our Celebrity Withstander castaways to here, Raven Island, which was pure, untouched nature until we decided to film a reality show on it. The Wushu tribe, who are supposed to always wear blue, consists of Apple Bloom, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Twilight. The Kabaddi tribe, who are supposed to always wear green, consists of Applejack, Big Mac, Butterscotch, camerapony #3, Lyra, and Octavia. In five minutes, they’ll have five minutes to take whatever they can from the boat to help them survive. Knives, extra food, survival manuals, who knows. Also, they can’t use levitation, because come on, that wouldn’t be fair.”

After frantically pushing some things off the boat, the teams swam out to shore.

“I’d like to give you a belated welcome to Withstander,” Pinkie Pie said. “So I will. Welcome to Withstander. What did you get off the boat?”

“We couldn’t bring anything because we have hooves,” Lyra said.

“I see. Twilight, Lyra, each of you take one of these maps I’ve had in front of me the whole time.” They did. “You’ll navigate to your canoes, then navigate to your islands, where you’ll find a cast iron pot, cast iron canteens, a cast iron machete, and a cast iron container of rice that should last you twelve days if you’re smart about it. Everything else you’ll have to find. Now go.”

WUSHU – Day 1

The six cheered as they made it to the beach with their flag and got off.

“We’re actually here!” Apple Bloom said.

“What now?” Twilight said.

“We should just relax,” Rainbow Dash said immediately before it started raining. “Okay, fine, we’ll make a shelter.”

As the rain gradually got heavier, everyone did their bit. The unicorns had levitation, Apple Bloom had what she had learned from Applejack, Rainbow Dash had pseudo-bipedalism and the stamina of an athlete, and Scootaloo wasn’t sure whether she had even signed up for something. Everyone had the knowledge or genetics to break sticks, and Twilight and Rarity had the knowledge required to arrange them without falling over. It was problem-free to the point of being boring, and they reasonably shortly had their triangular tube of wood set up.

“Okay, so about the names for the building,” Twilight said. “So far, the proposals are Wushu Tribe Wooden Open Triangular Prism, The Place, and Wushelter. As somepony who proposed one third of all of those I just listed, I can confidently say that they all suck.”

“It doesn’t need a name,” Rainbow said. “We’ll just call it the shelter.”

“All in favour of not naming it?”

Rainbow and Rarity raised their hooves.

“I have a compromise proposal,” Scootaloo said. “It’ll have a name, but the name will literally be The Shelter.”

“All in favour?” Everyone except Twilight raised a hoof. “Then it’s settled.”

KABADDI – Day 1

“Well, Ah guess we know what the first thing to do is,” Applejack said.

Applejack and Big Mac were Apples and Lyra was a unicorn, but everyone else had a bit more trouble. With only half the power, it took twice as long, with the same ultimate result but wetter and more fatigued.

“Does it need a name?” Applejack said as they all lied under their slightly leaky roof.

“So maybe you don’t like Kabaddi Kave,” Lyra said, “But that’s no reason to reject names in general.”

WUSHU – Day 2

“All for naming this island Dash Island, raise your hoof,” Rainbow said. She and Scootaloo were the supporters.

“Does this place really need a name?” Twilight said.

“Of course not. But why does it need to be unnamed?”

“I don’t know. Why would this be a big issue to me?”

Rarity looked at the pile of sticks with a ring of rocks around it. “Who’s going to make the fire, and then make the rice? You can make fire, can’t you, Twilight?”

“Yeah, but it’s just a little campfire. I know how to make fires too big, but....”

Scootaloo sighed dramatically, went off to the trees, and came back with a couple sticks in her mouth as everyone just watched her. She sat down, took one in each forehoof, struck one across the other like it was a match, lighting it, and dipped it in.

“Isn’t this meant to take hours of effort?” Rarity said.

“Sure,” Scootaloo said, “If you’re from civilisation.”

“You are.”

“You know what I mean.”

KABADDI – Day 2

“All for naming this island Big Mac Island, raise your hoof,” Butterscotch said. She was the only supporter, including Big Mac. “Fine. I’ll tolerate your taste in island names.”

Applejack came back from the forest. “We got mail. It says... er... Ah’m not sure....” Big Mac came over, took a look, and turned the scroll upside-down. “Oh. Get ready for combat, because that’s what the challenge is about. If you lose it, you maht be the first one out.”

BEACH OF DESTINY

“Welcome,” Pinkie Pie said. “Either of you have luck with fire?”

After Wushu stopped cheering, Applejack spoke. “We rubbed sticks together for hours, but nothin’ ever happened.”

“Well, if you win today’s challenge, you won’t need primitive methods like sticks. Win this one, you get a box of matches, and more importantly, you get invulnerability. The challenge is simple: last one conscious in the arena wins it for their team. I’ll give you a minute to strategise, then we’ll get started.”

The contestants stood in various places inside a rectangle of rocks, staring each other down like they were actually strangers and not acquaintances, friends, or lovers.

“Withstanders ready? ...Go!”

Twilight started to charge up a spell, but Applejack tackled her. After a shot of him flying through the air in a stereotypical karate pose, Big Mac landed and punched Rarity unconscious. Sweetie Belle and Lyra tried to strangle each other, Lyra coming out victorious. Camerapony #3 took on Scootaloo, one kick knocking her out, and Butterscotch fainted from being brushed by Big Mac.

As Applejack kept Twilight down, Rainbow sucker punched her from the air, then Big Mac got on top of Twilight. As Rainbow went straight for Lyra’s face, Lyra sidestepped, then caught Rainbow’s hindleg with both legs, bringing them both down. As Rainbow tried to escape, Octavia and camerapony #3 came to punch her until she lost consciousness. Twilight similarly went down after many punches from Big Mac. With only Apple Bloom left, the rest charged her and piled on, quickly asphyxiating her.

“Kabaddi!”

The conscious winners got up, cheered, and hugged each other. Pinkie came to them with the idol, a coconut with the word “idle” painted on it, and Lyra took it.

WUSHU – Night 2

“I can’t believe we lost,” Twilight said. “We were the ones with food.”

“And with Twilight,” Rainbow said. “Not that that was much help.”

“Nopony was much help, honestly. We just sucked.”

KABADDI – Night 2

“Let’s get this fire on!” Lyra said.

“We beat Twahlaht in a faht!” Applejack said.

“Isn’t this a great day?”

“It really is.” Lyra started a fire. “We can eat, we can not talk about voting....”

“Meanwhile, they have to do both.”

“Losers.”

WUSHU – Day 3

“We were the only two who did anything in that challenge,” Twilight said as she gathered Eastern staple foods with Rainbow. “So who will it be?”

“Well, Scootaloo’s the only reason we’re eating at the moment, so not her. And Rarity helped to design the shelter. I mean, she had ideas even you didn’t. Plus she built the whole thing.”

“Well, that still leaves two, obviously.”

“So who’ll be better with challenges? They won’t all be like that one. Who’s stronger, faster, smarter, better?”

“Now that I have an opinion on.”

“All right, then, whom are we to vote off?” Apple Bloom said.

“I don’t know,” Sweetie Belle said. “Rainbow Dash was the only one who did anything in the challenge, so not her. And not Scootaloo, because apparently only she can make fire. And not either of us.”

“So Twahlaht versus Rarity. Ah think we both know who’s better for this tahpe ah situation....”

COUNCIL BEACH

“So welcome to your first Tribal Council,” Pinkie said. “You’re not irredeemable failures yet, but you’re on your way. So Twilight, what the hell happened?”

“They have Applejack on their team and we have three foals, that’s what happened.”

“I see. Rainbow, how will you vote tonight?”

“A lot of ponies screwed up in the challenge, so it’s more about who’s useful around camp.”

“Rarity, what’s been the worst part of the whole experience so far? Starvation? Isolation from friends? Okay, that one doesn’t apply for you, but you get my point.”

“For me, it’s the hygiene. Or lack thereof. All I want is soap.”

“Right, it’s time to vote. Here’s how voting works. You’ll walk up the Path of Judgment to the voting confessional, which is like a regular confessional you’re used to doing but more meaningful because you’re voting for somepony. You’ll write the name of the pony you want to vote off in large, clear letters, a regulation which by the way we aren’t planning to enforce, show it to the camera, and explain why your vote is the pony it is. Then fold it up, put it in the container, and come back. I’m making it sound harder than it is, it’s just writing somepony’s name on a piece of paper. Trust me, you’ll be fine. In a few seasons’ time, we’re not even going to do this speech anymore. Twilight, you’re up first.”

“Sorry,” Rarity said, showing her vote for Apple Bloom, “But there’s nothing you can do that other ponies around here can’t.”

Apple Bloom showed her vote for Rarity. “You couldn’t do anything in the challenge, everythin’ you do around camp we have Twahlaht for, and you didn’t decahde to be part of mah allahance.”

“I’ll tally the votes,” Pinkie said. She went and retrieved the container. “Once the votes are read, you can’t change your mind because you got caught off guard in Withstander. The pony voted out has to leave without spilling a bunch of secrets. I’ll read the votes.

“First vote: Rarity.”

Rarity tilted her head forward slightly.

“Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle nodded nervously.

“Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle’s expression became even more nervous, the possibility now genuinely sinking in.

“Apple Bloom.”

Apple Bloom blinked a couple of times, but she stayed only as tense as all the others.

“Rarity.”

Rarity’s expression stayed as apprehensive as the other two still eligible.

“First pony voted out of the tribe: Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle got off her seat and went to Pinkie Pie.

“Sweetie Belle, everypony hates you.”

“Bye, ponies.”

“It’s time for you to go.”

Sweetie Belle walked away, not going the way she came.

“Well, you had a chance to vote off Rarity—I don’t mean in a Withstander context, just the general concept of voting off Rarity—and you didn’t do it. You can head back to camp.”

“You know what?” Sweetie Belle said. “All the ponies who voted for me can get BI-SWILS for all I care. Rarity is a useless fuckwad who only takes up food. I may be that too, but at least I only take up foal portions. Enjoy being stranded on an island with Rarity for another three days, ‘cause you chose it.” Next Chapter: Chapter 75: The Same Problem as Always Estimated time remaining: 11 Hours, 34 Minutes