Fluttershy was in the medicine aisle of the Sparkstown Big Stopmart looking for Amnesia Juice™, but what she found in its spot was Equestria Spring Amnesia Juice. Equestria Spring had bought Amnesial Juices and rebranded Amnesia Juice™ to fit! They didn’t change the recipe whatsoever, but it just wasn’t the same without that trademark ™ in the name. Nevertheless, she got it, and no other items in her trip provoked nearly as much of a reaction.

On her way home, she noticed that the mayoral announcement stage had a giant Equestria Spring logo painted on it. Then when she got there, there was a thermos on her doorstep with a note taped to it. She put it in with the groceries and, after going inside and putting everything else away, got back to the Equestria Spring-branded flask and read the note.

“This is a free sample of Equestria Spring® brand aqueous drink with FREE thermos! Whether you sip it like wine or down it like applejack, enjoy the same aqueous drink straight from the Jasmine Forest springs that powers Rainbow Dash to international race flying victory. EQUESTRIA SPRING® IS NOT INTENDED FOR PONIES WHO ARE LONELY OR WHO LEAD SEDENTARY LIFESTYLES.”

Immediately she was erring on the side of not trying it, as it seemed to not be made for her, figuratively and otherwise. She didn’t immediately pour it down the sink, but she did leave the thermos there, and get on with her day without thinking about it again.

As was the case for most of her day so far, Rainbow Dash was high in the sky flying to the expected location of a celebrity or other pony whose opinions were likely to influence the masses. She was wearing a wingsuit—not a slick, smooth one, which would have been far too hot for the mission, but made of a cotton-polyester blend like normal clothing, and which left her head and hooves uncovered—depicting a spruce forest with a giant Equestria Spring logo on either side. Her next destination was Sweet Apple Acres.

When someone answered the front door of the Sweet Apple Acres barn, the pony they turned out to be answering was usually Rainbow Dash. This time wasn’t anything unusual.

“Hey, Rainbow,” Applejack said.

“Did you try your free sample of—”

“Yeah. It was kahnda lahke crisps how it makes you want more of it, but it was also water. It was kahnda weird.”

“You should tell the world about it. Make a casual remark on Chirps or something.”

“They made a deal with you, not me.”

“Fine. I’ll just ask the other two members of your household.”

“Is that all you’re here for?”

“Yeah.”

“Bug somepony else.”

“I already tried that fifty times, but okay.”

A few hours after Fluttershy, Twilight was at the Sparkstown Big Stopmart. In itself, this was a common occurrence, but today, Twilight was only interested in Equestria Spring. After taking a little sip of the drink, then downing the whole bottle, she knew she never wanted to have tap water again. It wasn’t only the crisp feel of really good water, there was something else. When it ran out, she felt like she suddenly had to abandon a meal in the middle, despite her knowing exactly how big the thermos was. It was like she had to tap the doorknob eight times or she just couldn’t relax, but someone else was there, and the only way to get the task out of her mind was to go to a supermarket and buy a specific brand of bottled water she was craving really badly. Whatever the simile, she was thirsty and she had decided to drink Equestria Spring instead of tap water whenever she could.

She found the section labelled as having Equestria Spring without issues, but that was when the issue came: they were out of stock. Therefore, she ran around until she found an employee to bother.

“There’s no Equestria Spring!”

“I know! All these ponies have come to me today telling me about it just like you, and I have to be like ‘I know! All these ponies have come to me today telling me about it just like you, and I have to be like ‘I know! All these ponies—”

“You’re in a recursive quote.”

“Huh? Oh, thanks. Yeah, we’re out.”

“What will I do now?”

“I have a few bottles at my house. Come back here at six and I’ll take you there. Until then, you’ll just have to stay strong. Or burgle somepony.”

“I’ll see you then.”

It was a typical dining room. Tiles, a table, a couple windows, not much else. At the table was a cornflower stallion, with a tail of a much deeper blue and no mane, having a stew of vegetables in Equestria Spring, with a bottle of Equestria Spring for a drink. When he noticed Twilight looking through one of the windows, it was a bit of shock. Not as much as it would have been in the rest of the world, world-saviours being a regular sight in Sparkstown, but the “looking through a window” part was still very unexpected. He wasn’t just going to ignore Twilight, so he got up and opened the window.

“I hate to be rude to the specialest pony in existence, but what are you doing in my side garden?”

“Give me all your Equestria Spring or I’m going to kill you.”

“How would you know I have more than what you’re seeing right now?”

“I’m Twilight. That’s all the explanation you should need.” She had no idea. “Now lead me to the stores.”

“I don’t have any more.”

She teleported inside. “Lying to me isn’t a good idea.”

The victim turned around to face her again. “What’s right here is all I have,” he claimed before Twilight’s horn began to glow. “Okay, okay, come with me.”

They went through to the kitchen and he opened the refrigerator. Inside was a cardboard case for twenty-four bottles, eighteen of which remained. Without a word, Twilight took the case and teleported away.

At the stroke of six, Twilight came back to the Big Stopmart and waited by the entrance for the pony to appear, which she quickly did.

“You did come back.”

“I just decided to steal some, but I said I would be here.”

“Well, I’m glad you are. Come on.”

The mare was an earth pony with a light brown coat and normal brown mane, with brown eyes and a cutie mark of a brown mug of coffee with a chocolate biscuit dunked in it halfway. Her mane was straight and simple, only styled at all because a tangled mane was uncomfortable and not socially acceptable, essentially the Twilight look but a bit shorter. The non-famous pony led her out and the conversation began.

“So will I just give you some bottles and then you leave?”

“I’d be happy to stay for a bit if you want. What could be better than drinking Equestria Spring with another pony?”

“I’d be very happy to have you. I see you so often, and I’ve always wanted... well, I’ve always found you to be best pony, I’ll leave it at that.”

“Sex isn’t on the cards.”

“Hey, I never said that. I just said you’re my favourite. I didn’t mean it to sound sexual.”

Despite awkward looks from them both, that was all they said to each other before they entered her house.

“So this is—”

“Yeah, yeah, where’s the stuff?”

“You don’t want to—”

“I can’t be here all day.”

“Wow, you do need some Equestria Spring in you. Come on.”

The brown pony led Twilight to the kitchen, a task she found necessary despite it being visible from the entrance. The refrigerator had one shelf dedicated to Equestria Spring bottles, arranged in a neat hexagonal pattern, with another holding only a couple dozen bottles of Spring Energy Lime, or seLime as it was called on the labels, an energy drink made by the same company.

“Wow...” Twilight said. “Didn’t think you meant this....”

“Take one.” They both took a bottle and had a seat at the table. “So I guess there’s no need for you to introduce yourself....”

“I guess. But you go ahead.”

“Okay, well... you don’t even know my name, do you? I’m Durum Malt, I’m called that because... well, because both my parents were farmers, basically.”

“So your cutie mark is already multiple foods, and now that’s your name. Which one is your special talent about?”

“I’m supposed to be a barista. But I’m not. Besides what you already saw, I’m also occasionally a quantity surveyor.”

“That’s a bit random.”

“You got a problem with quantity surveyors?”

“No, I just don’t see how the skill sets....”

“It doesn’t have to do with anything, it’s just another thing I happen to be competent at. I thought you were supposed to be smart.”

“I was just surprised. So did you just find out about Equestria Spring like I did?”

“Well, we’ve sold it for as long as I’ve been there, but I never had it myself until they did their thing.”

“Ah. Well, as annoyed as I was, I can’t really blame you for what you did.”

“I’m glad you understand. Hey, can I ask you a bunch of questions because I’m actually meeting Twilight right now, I can’t believe it, how have I been so casual this whole time, oh Celestia, Luna, and all other high-level royalty of Equestria, and she’s right there, I mean you’re right there—”

“Yes, you can. And you have seen me before, you know....”

“Yeah, literally seen you. Not met you. That doesn’t just make everything worse.”

“Well, I’m finally with you, so that should make everything better.”

“I don’t know. Either way, you’re here now. So my first question is...”

Rainbow Dash came into Twilight’s bedroom, expecting to see Twilight reading on a bed. Instead, she saw Spike doing nothing on a bed.

“Hi—”

“Where’s Twilight?”

“I don’t know, she was supposed to be here hours ago. But that happens.”

“Who will I fuck now?”

“Anypony? Most ponies want to have sex with you.”

“I can’t just take a random pony off the street. Something that big has to be earned, not given to whatever pony happens to be walking by.”

“So what do you wanna do, host your own version of The Master?”

“Nah. I think I’ll just lie down somewhere and complain.”

“Not even clop?”

“I’ve never actually clopped.”

“Huh, really? Just sort of assumed you had.”

“I think that’s it. That’s all I wanted to know.”

Twilight didn’t look at the clock until a few questions in, but it had been at least two hours. It was probably the Equestria Spring, but she had found all her questions unusually bearable. Whatever the reason, she didn’t bolt away now that she had the opportunity.

“Hey, um... Malt?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m kind of hungry.”

“Really? That’s fan—I mean, yeah, I’ll make something. Maybe Pilomian biryani, but with Alicante wedges instead of cherry tomatoes and with broccoli like they do in—”

“Did you torture Spike or something? How do you know about—”

“Does there need to be a reason?”

“I mean, the reason is you’re a stalker, but I don’t understand how you found that out.”

“Did you hear the hours of things I asked you? I know you did, because you answered them. If I’m a stalker, I’m pretty bad at it.”

“You’re acting like it’s some bit of trivia you can just pick up.”

“It is. Once you tell one pony, it can get on the Internet.”

“I know... anyway, you can make that if you’re so excited.”

“All right, I will.”

Durum Malt slaved over the dish like Twilight’s opinion of it was going to determine her entire self-worth for the next month, because it was. As she finally presented it, she was obviously very nervous, praying that it just wouldn’t suck. Twilight took a few bites, then set the fork down, and that was her cue.

“So how is it?”

“It’s good. You didn’t screw anything up, calm down.”

“Are you just saying that so I don’t get depressed?”

“Would I do something like that?”

“No. I know.” She got herself her own plate. “Now I kind of wish I hadn’t asked you everything I ever wanted to know....”

“Well, there must be subjects you care about besides my opinions.”

“Um... I like television dramas. And reviewing tea biscuits.”

“You know, I’ve been looking for a good tea biscuit reviewer and I just can’t find anypony. Like, I know describing tastes can be hard, but you think there’d be somepony out there, especially when they make it their thing.”

“Well, try Flow48 on TdV. I go on about balance and flavours forever like I’m not eating something with two ingredients.”

“Hey, I like that sort of thing.”

“I... wait... are you offended?”

“No. I meant that ‘hey’ in a reassuring way.”

“Oh, okay.”

They went over a couple other subjects, Twilight seeming very mildly interested in this pony, finding talking to her being better than just sitting there, and this pony seeming very interested in Twilight, probably not realising how intense her eyes looked. But eventually it was late and Twilight was getting kind of bored.

“Well, if that’s that, I should get going.”

“What? You couldn’t at least warn me?”

“I didn’t know when it was going to happen. I enjoyed talking with you.”

“You can’t leave. This was supposed to end in us having sex. Did you really think I didn’t want to fuck you?”

“No, but I really should go. And I don’t want to fuck you.”

She sighed. “Well, that’s fine. I mean, I like you, of course, but it isn’t like I’m dependent on you in some deep emotional way. I’ll be fine, I’m not crazy. I might’ve made myself seem that way, so... just don’t worry about me, that’s all I’m trying to say.”

“Are you going to cry the instant I shut the front door?”

“No. Why would I cry? This has been the best day of my life.”

“Okay. See you the next time I need some Equestria Spring.”

“Yep, see you tomorrow.”

Durum Malt watched as Twilight got up, walked out of the room, walked out of the house, and shut the front door. She lasted two or three seconds before beginning to cry. Next Chapter: Chapter 74: Withstander Estimated time remaining: 11 Hours, 42 Minutes