Twilight had finally stopped thinking of things in bed and was about to actually sleep when the book she had that night slipped off the bed, making a loud prush as it hit the floor.

“I’ll put it back in the morning.”

The instant she woke up, she remembered the book.

“I’m tired, I’ll put it back once I wake up.”

She did her morning things, including an hour-long shower, fifty minutes of which were spent adjusting the temperature; ate a healthy breakfast of a bowl of a cereal made slightly of oats but mostly of chocolate marshmallows, a glass of milk, a glass of orange juice, a grapefruit, two slices of toast with unspread squares of butter, and two sunny-side-up eggs; played outside with her two years older brother for an hour to get her daily requirement of exercise and vitamin D; only practised her magic for one hour before taking a twenty-minute break; and finally went to her bedroom to bitch about her parents in her diary.

“You know, putting this diary back reminds me, I should put that book that fell off the bed back after I check the news.”

Unfortunately, the sole article she read that wasn’t about kittens led her into a string of personally undiscovered amazing websites and research papers, and it was the middle of the evening by the time she was finished.

“Oh, apparently that was the last tab. You know, I feel like... oh yeah, the book.” She turned to look at the book still lying on the floor. “That’s kinda far away. Spiiike!”

Spike came running in like there was a fire. “I’m here.”

“I can see that. Now put that book back.”

“You’re the one with the telekinesis.”

“I’m the one with the death lightning.”

“I’m the one not making threats to a powerless baby dragon.”

“I’m not the one whose only purpose in life is to serve Twilight Sparkle.”

“Fine.” He retrieved the book and went back down.

Rainbow Dash came to visit and sleep, because otherwise they wouldn’t have made an episode out of the day.

“Huh. Twilight’s usually right here when I come into her bedroom uninvited.”

“I’m in the bathroom.”

After she finished clopping, she came back out. “So are we gonna fuck or not?” Rainbow said.

“I just clopped.”

“So no?”

“I’m still horny.”

“So then—”

Twilight tackled her, and the following two hours were one big sex session, the longest break without something being licked lasting about one minute.

“Can we stop?” Rainbow said. “I’m gonna choke if I have any more cum.”

“There are still fifty-eight more to go.”

“I don’t even know what you’re counting. It isn’t orgasms....”

Twilight got off her and off the bed. “You can have a break. But if you want that to be the last sex tonight, then you’ll have to leave.”

“It’s all right, I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

Despite their beliefs, Spike could easily hear them from downstairs.

“I swear,” he whispered to the camera so as not to be a hypocrite, “I’m just trying to make a sandwich, and every time, I hear their sex talk. Whether it’s television or making food, whenever I’m doing something I need to hear clearly or not be disgusted during, they’re having sex way more often than chance alone can explain. It’s so annoying.”

About an hour later, Twilight was not reading, but writing, mostly notes about sex ideas, but also including ideas on how to torture ponies without instantly killing them, which may well have also doubled as sex ideas to do with Rainbow. She was doing this on paper, despite it taking place on the same desk that had her monitor directly in front of her.

“I’m ready,” Rainbow said.

“Well, now I’m busy. Wait a minute.”

“You look like you’re just writing something down.”

“Yeah, and I’ll forget it. That’s why I’m writing it down. So be patient just like I had to be for literally fifty times as long.”

“Well, sorry I’m not a nymphomaniac. Relatively speaking.”

She finished writing the thought about rolling pins, then she got on the bed and they resumed having sex. This exemplified what had gone on the past week in that no one had really done anything that was reality show material, but at this rate they were going to run out of episodes, so they really needed to scrape one together. Applejack was also having sex, but again no one was saying or doing anything noteworthy, and Sweetie Belle was playing “Double Hexagon”, a recurring thing she sometimes did with a specific set of her toys that was very difficult to follow to any outside observer.

“Can you do something?” camerapony #2 said.

“We are,” said Twilight, as she was the one not using her mouth.

“I mean something interesting for the viewers.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they’ll get sick of this.”

“But we need a plot to go along with it.”

“Well, we aren’t going to give you one.”

“Can you do something?” camerapony #4 said.

“We ah—haaaaaaaah!” Applejack said. “We are.”

“Like, to make the show good?”

“We are.”

“But we need a plot, it can’t just be sex.”

“Well, we ain’t doin’ that.”

“Holy crap,” transcriber #3 said, “They took over Lilac Corner?”

“Almost.”

“What? This is confusing.”

The next morning, Twilight and Rainbow were going to have a sexy shower together, but the latter noticed that one of the shower items had been switched out.

“Twilight?”

“Yes?”

“Why is the shower curtain transparent?”

“For the show.”

“I mean... it’s kinda weird.”

“If you didn’t like being watched, you would have stopped doing this a long time ago.”

“I know, but... there’s just something not right about a transparent shower curtain.”

“Then I’ll just have to rape you.”

“I mean, I’m sure I’ll get used to it....”

She did quickly get used to it. However, with no chat, there was still nothing to report for the show other than the usual that they had sex.

“Bah, AJ,” Apple Bloom said, already on the other side of the doorway.

“Bah. Cause some vahlence at school.”

“You cause some vahlence if that’s what you wanna do for the world.” She left.

“Hmm...” Applejack said as the shot zoomed in on her.

“Bye, Rarity,” Sweetie Belle said, already pushing the door open.

“Bye. Don’t cause any violence at school.”

“Nothing about yesterday was my fault.” She left.

“That’s strange. What is she talking about...?” Rarity said before the shot zoomed in on her.

“Hey, Big Mac?” Applejack called across the house. “Oh, you’re right there. Ah’m gonna kill somepony, so Ah’ll be back in a bit.”

“All right.”

She went outside and went down a few streets, waiting for a sign she had no idea of the appearance of. She would know the target house when she saw it. As she went down a quiet, normal residential street a bit lost in thought, she saw her first target, who was identified as a target for being outside.

“Hey, over here,” Applejack said.

The blue mare was levitating a large paper bag with a baguette sticking out of it. “Applejack?”

“Uh, quick question, do you know any combat spells? Or, like, anything you could use to hurt ponies?”

“I can make fire... why do you ask?”

“Oh, you know... hard to explain....”

“Well, I really have to get going. Everypony’s probably already worried....”

“Okay. Take... take care.”

“Goodbye.” She kept going.

“Well, that didn’t work... only ‘cause she was a unicorn, though. Next one’s gonna be great.”

She continued her travels, but none of the houses spoke to her, and the next potential victim was also someone outside in a residential area. The yellow mare had a large paper bag around her neck with the top of a carrot sticking out.

“Drop that bag.”

“Applejack?”

In stark contrast to the last attempt, Applejack came over to the target. “Drop it.”

“You’re Applejack!” She dropped the bag and Applejack began to look through it. “There are so many things I want to ask you....”

“Ah’m takin’ this pack ah gummy worms.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s that or your life.”

“But my foal is going to be so disappointed when he hears that his favourite saviour stole his gummy worms.”

“Not mah problem.” She took the bag in her mouth and set off.

When he got the door, Big Mac had an obvious question to ask.

“Did you kill anypony?”

She went inside and dropped the bag. “Nah. Ah’ll still kill ponies if Ah’m with somepony else, but Ah think goin’ out an’ doin’ it mahself ain’t for me.” She picked the bag back up and went upstairs.

Twilight was in the study with Spike, but she may as well have been alone. As Spike rearranged some books in a shelf embedded in the floor, the piece of carpet hiding it rolled up to the side, she complained to him about why this was.

“I need a sex slave.”

“You don’t have one?”

“I mean a domestic sex slave. Somepony who’s always here and just sits around waiting for me to occasionally make them feel necessary in the world.”

“Uh... look, Twilight, I don’t fancy you. If you’re—”

“What? I’m not talking about you. I just need to bring in another pony. Somepony with cyan fur, a short mane with crazy colours—”

“Will a worse Rainbow Dash really make you happy?”

“Yes. Especially if I make sure she has a bunch of fetishes that the real Rainbow Dash doesn’t have.” She sang a three-minute song listing all the fetishes she wanted. “Wouldn’t that be great?”

“Uh... sure. It’d be good for the environment, technically.”

“I need a punchline for the episode,” Sweetie Belle said as she exited the school with her three best friends.

“Punchlahne?” Apple Bloom said. She punched Sweetie Belle in the side of her head, causing her to stagger for a few seconds and then fall unconscious. “Er....”

A light brown stallion came out of the building. He was Cookie Dough, the week’s substitute biology teacher. “Two days in a row?”

“She lahkes it.”

“I would ask her to confirm that, but you seem to have knocked her unconscious this time.”

“Did you see the part raht before? When she wakes up, she’ll say she was on top ah the world raht then.”

“Wait there, the headmaster obviously needs to see this.” He went back in.

Scootaloo giggled. “You’re so fucked.”

“Nuht-uh. They’ll say Ah’m gettin’ some ridiculous amount ah detention tomorrow, then once they hear Sweetie Belle’s opinion, Ah’ll be fahne.”

They waited a minute, occasionally watching someone else leave, then Cookie Dough came back with the news. “Apple Bloom, tomorrow we’re going to ask Sweetie Belle what she thought of what just happened. If she did not in fact enjoy being knocked unconscious, or if she doesn’t remember it, you’ll be suspended for a week.”

“Well, she did enjoy it, so Ah ain’t worried.”

The next day, before any of the classes, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were at the headmaster’s office. Behind his desk was the pony himself, as always wearing his black trench coat, black fedora, black balaclava, and black sunglasses.

“Sweetie Belle. Tell me what happened yesterday after you left the building.”

“Apple Bloom punched me and I fell unconscious.”

“I see. This is consistent with what I have previously been told. Now, did you enjoy the time from and including being punched to when you fell unconscious?”

“Yes, I did. I don’t wish for her to cease doing things like this.”

“Very well. Apple Bloom will receive no punishment. I will notify the teachers if her demeanor doesn’t give it away first. Now please leave and prepare for your days as normal.”

They left the room, and Scootaloo was waiting immediately outside.

“How’d it go?”

“Ah don’t have to do anything.”

“Nice. So... now what?”

“It’s tahme to... do a day ah school, Ah guess. Yep.” Next Chapter: Chapter 45: Illegal Park Activities Estimated time remaining: 15 Hours, 11 Minutes