Everyone was happy. Rainbow was flying, Twilight was reading, Octavia was eating a tea biscuit, Lyra was trying to use magic to make things hot up more quickly, Applejack and Big Mac were that kind of happy, and Sugarcube Corner actually had a line for once. So you may then be wondering what made this time so interesting. Well, it’s simple: literally every pony in Ponyville was happy. How amazing is that?

But besides records, Scootaloo was shortly going to be somewhat dead unless something happened. Why, you ask? The answer is simple: snow. Normally, when snow ensued, Scootaloo could just turn her box floor side up and hope it didn’t collapse. This occasionally resulted in the minor problem that the solidness of the cardboard and the pressure of the snow would leave her trapped. Now, you may think that there would rarely ever be enough snow to cover the box that much, but you haven’t seen what Ponyvillian snow can be like. Yes, there was an episode or two with snow, but that’s like two data points, so shut up.

Anyway, regarding the trapping, she had tried opening the bottom/ceiling twice. The first time she did, it turned out she was trapped in ice. The second time she did, it was snow, and the instant she dug a bit of it out, it collapsed and she died of asphyxiation, which dissuaded her from trying that particular strategy again. What did work sometimes was banging on the side of the box until someone was curious (or if they lived near her, felt badly) enough to dig her out. Leaving the open side of the box sideways like normal instead of on the bottom was disfavoured for reasons of warmth. All of this was, of course, itself disfavoured to being in an actual building, but nobody cared or had money quite enough to keep her all the time, and some sort of rotation would just be weird.

Anyway, now was one of the caved-in times, however rare or not they were—we’re only doing one episode on this so it doesn’t really matter anyway—and Scootaloo had gone twenty-four hours without food and, more importantly, water. She had some really good night vision going, though. The reason we’re joining her now is Fluttershy came for her. She was wearing standard wintry clothes as well as carrying a set of wintry clothes for Scootaloo. She thought about what a great idea it would’ve been to bring a shovel.

“Twilight?” Fluttershy said. “What are you doing here?”

Unfortunately, it didn’t work. Twilight wasn’t even watching. In fact, no one was watching, because the chapter wasn’t being broadcast live.

“Wait,” a Programme Productions pony said to another Programme Productions pony, “So this is what you meant when you said we should film a Fluttershy/Scootaloo chapter?”

“Yeah.”

“This makes much more sense than what I thought you were saying.”

And so after getting a shovel, Fluttershy dug her way to the top of the box. We wanted to get a shot of Scootaloo inside the box, but obviously that wasn’t possible. The transcribers weren’t even able to tell what she was thinking. If only she was wearing one of those aluminium hats. Some ponies say that those make it harder to read the wearer’s mind, but a study at MIT showed that wearing them actually made it easier. Of course, there’s the idea that they were bribed by the state to tell everyone that, but that’s just what they want you to think. It involves admitting bribery, sure, but it’s better than having everyone know the truth. After dusting off the top and clearing a couple sides a little, Fluttershy was able to pull the box out of the snow. Scootaloo wasn’t willing to compromise her curled position to look up at her.

“Scootaloo?” Fluttershy said softly even for her.

In response, Scootaloo continued to shiver and be curled up with her eyes closed.

“It’s Fluttershy.”

In response, Scootaloo continued to shiver and be curled up with her eyes closed.

“I have clothes.”

She opened her eyes and looked up at Fluttershy. “Where are they?”

“I had to not be carrying them whilst I was digging you out.” She reached behind some snow to grab all the clothes at once with one hoof. “Here.”

“Thanks.” She put the clothes on. “This is really going to help, so thank you.”

As awkward silences went, it was a pretty bad one.

“I guess I’ll find a place,” Scootaloo said.

“I was hoping you would come back to my house so I could feed you.”

“Oh. You know, you don’t need to do that.”

“I do need to do that or you’ll die of hypothermia, starvation, or dehydration. I’m not sure which, but you’ll die.”

“I’ve been fine before.”

“Look, I’m helping you and you’re eventually liking me more than you like Rainbow.”

“Fine, give me food and shelter. See if I care.”

Drink CAEB

And so they went to Fluttershy’s house, if you know what I mean. No dialogue happened along the way.

“You know how awesome you are, right?” Scootaloo said.

“No.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t. But you are.”

“Well... thank you.”

“What?”

“Thank you.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before.”

“You’ve never heard ‘thank you’ before?”

“Yeah. Why, should I have?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you don’t get Pokémon references.”

“True.”

Fluttershy went through the secretly revolving wall to her kitchen and took a cube from the pantry. The cube was a pale orange and about five centimetres on a side. She went back to Scootaloo in the entry/living room.

“Have a cheese cube,” she said, holding the cube which may or may not be cheese out to Scootaloo. Despite the uncertainty, Scootaloo took the cube and a bite.

“It tastes like cheese,” Scootaloo said.

“Is there a reason it wouldn’t?”

“I didn’t have anything to say. Not that this isn’t good, but do you have anything more traditional?”

“Yes, but I’ve been looking for a way to get rid of that.”

“So you gave it to me.”

“Well... yes....”

She took another bite. “I’m happy you chose me.”

“Oh. Thank you. So this needs a bit of a story, but—”

“So does this cube.”

“That isn’t important. But I was eating soup, and I realised that the part I liked best was the end when I drank the broth that was left.”

“That reminds me of something Rainbow Dash told me once.”

“So I was talkin’ to Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said, “And she was like

‘Hey, Rainbow?’,

and I was like ‘I’m right here.’.

‘You know how the best part of soup is eating the big chunks of stuff?’

‘Yeah.’

‘So I thought why not just make a vegetable platter, and I did, but it wasn’t the same.’

‘That sucks.’

so then later I was having some ice cream and I thought the same thing but with peanut butter, but I can’t try it ‘cause it makes me feel like I’m eight.”

“I see. I’ve been meaning to make some heated-up broth sometime, but now I’m not so sure.”

“You should do it.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah.”

They both went in the kitchen. Fluttershy got the pot that happened to be clean, saving her innumerable seconds of work, and the broth that happened to be clean, saving her innumerable years of life, and began the easiest dish anyone can possibly cook. Frozen burritos you put in the microwave for two minutes don’t count.

“Something,” Scootaloo said.

“Something funny.”

“Observational comedy.”

“Humourous response.”

“Normal phrase.”

“Downbeat punchline.”

Scootaloo ate her cube as the broth hotted up like Earth’s atmosphere. Fluttershy’s kitchen, though not as pathetic as Twilight’s, wasn’t anything to brag about. The transcriber’s combined fuzzy readings and lack of cheese knowledge made her uncertain of what cheese the cheese cube was.

“This is good,” Scootaloo said, “But the edges hurt.”

“I know,” Fluttershy said. It was a “yeah, I know what it’s like”, not an “I know, don’t be so fucking condescending”, if you didn’t pick that up from her being Fluttershy. “It’s been a while, I should see if the broth’s done.”

She took a ladle of the broth and sipped a tiny bit. Suffice to say she had that feeling you get on your tongue with hot liquids. I don’t know what it is, but you know it.

“Okay, it’s done.” She turned off the burner. “It needs to cool down a bit, actually. Do you have anything else to talk about?”

“No. Neither of our lives are really built for that.”

“I thought you might at least have some opinions you needed to say.”

“So might you considering how many opinions you’ve said so far.”

“I haven’t said any opinions, so I don’t do that.”

“No, it means you haven’t reached your opinion quota today.”

“I don’t want to be constantly saying opinions.”

“Well, too bad. It’s not a limit quota, it’s a requirement quota.”

“What happens if I don’t meet it? There’ve been plenty of other days where I haven’t said a single opinion and nothing has happened, at least that I noticed.”

“Nothing, just guilt and embarrassment. It means you’re lazy, basically.”

“I don’t think it’s a moral obligation to express some number of opinions every day.”

“I know, that’s why I’m trying to help you.”

“I’m not going to do it.”

“Fine. Then you’ll just have to feel bad. Or don’t, since apparently you have no morals and only care about yourself.”

“As much I like feeling bad about myself, I’m not going to force it.”

“Fine. Be... content.”

They didn’t talk to each other until Fluttershy judged the broth to be at the right temperature, then they still didn’t talk until they went to the invisible table.

“Would this make more sense for a cup?” Scootaloo said.

“I thought about it, but the strangeness didn’t seem like it would be worth it.”

“I see. So are you really doing this to make me like you more than Rainbow Dash?”

“I’m doing it so you don’t die.”

Scootaloo tried a spoonful of the broth. “Hm. It’s not that exciting without the flavours of other things in it.”

“I think so too.”

“Don’t be so condescending.”

“I agree.”

“It was worth trying, at least.”

“I think so too.”

“You know, Rainbow,” Rainbow said whilst lying on a cloud, some of its cloud pulled over her for a blanket, “I should probably get some clothes. Where do I have my clothes again? At AJ’s? Did I put them in my house I haven’t sold yet? I can’t remember. Come on, think... okay, I don’t have anything in the house, I generally don’t have stuff at Twilight’s... wait, didn’t AJ say they were in the prison? Yeah. But I don’t wanna get up.”

“And that’s how we’ll fix the economy,” Scootaloo said.

“Your ‘ponies working for no pay due to debt’ sound a lot like slaves. Also, that wouldn’t fix the economy anyway.”

“I think that’s for the economy to decide.”

“Do you understand anything about economics?”

“You don’t, so you’re in no position to complain.”

“I don’t think that’s how arguments work.”

“Well, I’m starving so you can’t make fun of me.”

“That’s true.”

“It’s not fair,” Rainbow said. “Why do I get my chapter for this cycle when I’m barely awake? I guess I have to get up sometime anyway. The last pony who thought she could sleep for her appearances was Scootaloo, and she’s not getting chapters anymore.”

She flew off to the house of Applejack. And Big Mac. And Apple Bloom? Who owns the place now anyway? Is it owned? What does this all mean for things like property taxes? Anyway, by the house I mean the base.

Down there, there were eight cells, four on each side, one of which had a pony in it. She was white and earth, with a red, as in literally red and not orange, mane in a style very similar to Twilight’s. Very generic-looking. She had a purple and yellow cousin, a reference no one will get.

“Rainbow Dash?” this pony said. “Did they send you to execute me?”

“Who are you?”

“All I did was take one bite of one apple. You see, Big Mac took a bite of—”

“So you’re a crazy Big Mac fangirl?”

“Yeah, but—”

“That’s cool.” Rainbow went to the end of what was now considered a hall and began to put her clothes on.

“Please,” said the fangirl who couldn’t be called a mare and couldn’t really be called a filly without having to say an entire sentence of clarification that she was a teenager. “If you just listen—”

“Don’t care.”

“They’re going to kill—”

“You deserve it.”

“I know that’s what it’s like here, but all I did—”

“Think about this: Big Mac thinks you should die.”

And all she did for literally the rest of her life was cry.

“I’ve got some sleepin’ to do,” Rainbow said after she put on the last item, a hat with a fuzzy ball on it. “You have fun.”

And so she left to find a nice cloud. Transcriber #64 could spend all day typing about what properties make a cloud “nice”, but doesn’t feel like it.

“Do you have anything bigger than that?” Scootaloo said.

“Yes. I just had a spare cheese cube, so I thought you would like it.”

“I know, but why did you have a spare cheese cube?”

“It’s a long story...

“...One day, I was going to Generic Market when a cube of cheese fell from the sky and I caught it. I put in my bag and carried on.”

“I thought you said it was a long story.”

“It seemed dramatic.”

“And where does the ‘spare’ part come in?”

“One of the things I was going there for were some cheese cubes.”

“And you didn’t account for the fact that you got one from the sky when you were buying them?”

“It wasn’t the kind I wanted.”

“This must be a side appearance,” Rainbow said. “I haven’t said enough stuff. Right? Right. ♪It’s the♪—I don’t know why I ever started doing that.” She stopped next to a cloud, patted it firmly a couple times, and kept going.

“This food tastes well,” Scootaloo said.

“I am glad that you like the food,” Fluttershy said.

A klaxon was heard for three “wa”s.

“The fuck?” Scootaloo said.

“What the....”

“That sound means we’re out of time,” a disembodied voice in the ceiling said. “Join us same time tomorrow for the epic conclusion to this game of...”

Fluttershy nor Scootaloo said anything.

Next Chapter: Chapter 148: Twidash Conversation #I Don’t Know, a Lot Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 49 Minutes