“This isn’t good,” Twilight said.

“What?”

Twilight looked up from her book to confirm that it was Spike. “The prophecy states ‘On the evening of the holiday which is lesser-known than the day before it, the fillies and the colts of the world shall rise the thinking as the undead.’.”

“That sounds like Ha’llo’we’en.”

“What?” Twilight read over the prophecy again. “You’re right, it does. We’re probably fine, then. I wouldn’t know how to prepare anyway.”

“As whom shall I go?” Rainbow said panickedly to Applejack whilst they were still in bed. “I can’t go as Rainbow Factory me again!”

“Ah just woke up three seconds ago.”

“Who am I gonna go as?” Pinkie said to herself. “I can’t go as Cupcakes me again. And I don’t wanna go as some generic ghost or something. What do I do?”

“You’re not going to get scared by anything this time,” Fluttershy said whilst facing a mirror. “It’s all fake. It’s Ha’llo’we’en for Faust’s sakes! Seriously, last year it was like you were π years old. Nopony should ever honestly be scared by a π0-bit costume. And for the love of Faust, Wall, Rogers, and any other god anypony’s ever believed in, do not be that house that gives out baby carrots again. Sure, you weren’t as bad as the pony with the pencils, but there’s still a lot of room for improvement.”

“What should I do?” Rarity said to Sweetie Belle, as nopony at all had made any plans by the morning before Ha’llo’we’en. “Obviously I have to do something different this year, because all the foals hated me. I still can’t figure out what they even hated me for!”

“Just a wild guess, but maybe it was because you were the house that gave out pencils. What you need to give out is sweets.”

“What sweets? There are so many kinds, you know.”

“Well, anything’s a step up from pencils, but get Starburst GummiBursts. They have the highest demand right now, and if you give them out, ponies might actually start to like you.”

“Just in the context of Ha’llo’we’en or in general?”

“Definitely in Ha’llo’we’en, and maybe a little in general.”

“I’ll do that, then.”

Octavia was waitressing and Lyra was cashiering, making Octavia’s house empty. And you know what happens when her house is empty? Nothing, because it’s empty!

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom sat at a table.

“And that’s what I plan to do to Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said.

“What.”

“And that’s what I—”

“No, Ah heard, but... you sure she’ll be, y’know, non-traumatahsed after that?”

“Well, somepony has to be traumatised or it removes all the risk of Ha’llo’we’en. It’s supposed to be ‘trick or treat’, not ‘treat’.”

“Yeah, but... can’t you at least do that ta Dahmond or somethin’?”

“I guess, but it won’t work as well. There’s not the factor of betrayal of trust and friendship that it would have if I did it to Sweetie Belle.”

“If you did it to her, there maht be traumatic implications outside ah Ha’llo’we’en.”

“I guess. And it’ll still be a little scary if I do it on Diamond Tiara.”

“Eggsactly!”

“The rice balls worked last time, right?” Twilight said, sporting her typical nervous Twilightness complete with pacing. “Can I just do those again or do I need to do something different? I don’t want them to think I’m lazy or uncreative.”

“The rice balls worked fine,” Spike said, “You can do them again.”

“I hate how they changed them to popcorn balls in the dub.”

“I know, right? Anyway, those worked fine. And why are you so Twilighty about this anyway, weren’t you ever a foal?”

“Of course I was, but times have changed since then.”

“Not really....”

“Well, I guess I’m getting some rice. Perhaps in ball form if I feel lazy.”

“You’re good with sweets,” Diamond Tiara said in a location which she threatened to kill the transcriber there for mentioning, a copse about 250 metres north of her house. “So make a Ha’llo’we’en-related plan.”

“I’m not good with pranks,” Twist said. “All I can tell you about is what sweets are good, which you already know because you’re a foal.”

“Do ponies like peppermint patties this year?”

“No.”

“Then we’ll give out those.”

“What do we have to gain from that?”

“Nothing, but it’s evil.”

“But what’s the point if—”

“Evil!”

“Okay, so your mansion is giving those out, but that still leaves the question of what we’re going to go as.”

“Well, it has to be something evil.”

“That’s not very specific. It’s Ha’llo’we’en, you know. What did you go as last year?”

“Silver. And she went as me. It didn’t cause as much confusion as we had hoped.”

Twist nodded, trying desperately to look anything like professional. “In that case, I have no idea what to do. I’m trying to think of what you’d play well....”

“Are you succeeding?”

“No. I told you, I don’t know anything about non-sweets-related subjects.”

“So neither of us have any idea what to do for Ha’llo’we’en.”

“What should I do?” Butterscotch said whilst looking into a giant mirror, the kind on a stand and shaped like an oval. “Hm, what would scare Big Mac? Nothing would scare him, so I shouldn’t try to base it on that. Wait, that’s it, I’ll go as nothing! Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. But then what should I do? I don’t want to just get some cheap πty-bit costume.”

“I think you’re wearing a pretty good costume right now.”

“Shut your whorish smoking mouth, Arserscotch.”

“The question is if I go back to Ponyville, will nopony try to kill me?” Trixie said. “Well, Twilight saved my life that one time which is part of the reason I love her, but there are the... crazier ones like Rainbow Dash who’d probably—” And then she noticed she was live on television. “—Not meaning I don’t like them or anything, it’s just—”

She saw Rainbow flying towards her and laid facedown. Rainbow landed in front of her.

“so i herd u liek...” Rainbow stopped herself. “I mean, so I heard you don’t like me.”

“It wasn’t meaning I don’t like you, just that you have a rather low threshold for things you consider... death-worthy, if that’s a word.”

“I’m not gonna kill you. Maybe a... minor injury is in order.”

“The way you trailed off before saying ‘minor’ makes me suspect it’s not actually minor.”

“You might be right.”

“I might be?”

“You probably are. Now what kind of a... minor injury should I cause you? I have a few ideas....”

“Does that KA-BAR® combat knife you’ve always had in your hoof but neither of us have mentioned have anything to do with those ideas?”

“Yes. Yes, it does.”

Trixie teleported away.

“Well, fuck.”

Zecora was at Price✓Rong buying the last of the Starburst GummiBursts, probably because they’re the tastiest food overall in the world. She was walking up to a checkout at the moment, and with the time it took the transcriber to type this, she was there now. The sweets she bought included the aforementioned, plus Take 6, “fun” size Snickers, and Twixie.

“That’ll be 12 bytes,” the cashier, Doughier, who also works as a churro salespony, said. Zecora hooved over 12 bytes.

“Thank you for shopping at PriceRong,” Doughier said, forgetting to pronounce the ✓, although to be fair hardly anyone does it anyway. “Please keep your receipt out for viewing.”

“There is no ‘receipt’. What are you talking about? I didn’t get one.”

Doughier tore a receipt out of the receipt-printing thing and hooved it to Zecora. “Have a nice day or else!”

“Or else what?”

“The whereabouts of the last pony who didn’t have a nice day are unknown.”

“That doesn’t matter. What about the last zebra? What happened to them?”

“The only zebra who didn’t have a nice day was found dead in a somewhat scary if you’re young enough forest two hours from now.”

“You know what, whatever. I will not have a nice day. I’ll just leave now.”

Zecora left the building and made it about five metres before stopping.

“Well, mer fucking da,” she said. “Oh, hello there, Rarity. Bad language, I know.”

“Hello, Zecora. I was just coming here to get some ‘GummiBursts’, if I’m remembering the name correctly, since I’ve been informed that they’re popular this year.”

“Um...” Zecora was hoping the bags overflowing with GummiBursts she was carrying wouldn’t arouse any suspicion. “I took some of them, but I saw some were still there, so have fun with that.”

“All right. Do you remember where they were?”

“I don’t remember, but I know some are still there. With work, you’ll find them.”

“Okay. I should actually go in now, so good-by.”

“Bye.”

Unless you want to watch two hours of shopping, let’s go to Zecora again.

“It’s been two hours,” Zecora said. “I’m in my normal forest.” She paused for drama. “I don’t want to die....”

A wolf was heard howling to the full moon. Well, it was actually two days past the day where it’s super extra full, but it’s close enough. The sound of a zebra falling to the ground, which was much like the sound of anything else falling to the ground, was also heard, but it wasn’t Zecora. She looked towards the sound to see her oppositely-sexed evil twin, Zecoro, being pulled by a tentacle rape vine. She promptly ran over to him.

“Zecora!” Zecoro, who was also oppositely coloured from Zecora, said. “Thank Faust you’re here! Help!”

“I don’t think I will. After all you’ve done to me, you think I’d save you?”

“Yes. Look, I know I’ve done some terrible betrayful things, like that time you saved me from that chickatrice and I subsequently tried to stab you in the pancreas, but I’m not like that anymore.”

“But then with team a, the second time I saved you, what’d you try to do?”

“Stab you in the pancreas, I know. But look, I’m not evil anymore. I’ve had a change of heart. And I’m your twin brother, and you’re the good zebra. What moral reason do you have to not save me?”

“But for the third time, with the Hollywood quicksand, you gave that same speech....”

“And then I stabbed you in the pancreas and took all your stuff and you barely made it to the hospital, I know, but I’m not evil anymore. You have to trust me, you’re my twin!”

“It happened three times. I’m not getting fooled again. You can go and die.”

“But Zecora!”

“I’m not helping you. Enjoy your last few minutes. Think about your life.”

“But Zecora!”

Zecora walked away.

“Did they sell out already?” Big Mac said, looking at the place where the GummiBursts were typically located. Fluttershy came up to the spot as a result of a “coincidence” that had been carefully set up by the recording staff the whole time.

“They’re out already?” Fluttershy said in similar disbelief. She noticed Big Mac. “Oh, hello, Big Mac. I didn’t see you, I’m so sorry about that, do you still love me? It’s an expression, I don’t think you still love me, but you understand.”

“Hi, Fluttershy. Did they move them? Because I really expected....”

“So did I. I guess we could ask one of the staff.”

Fluttershy and Big Mac started the great search for an employee, but they just found someone in 8.2 seconds.

“Um...” Fluttershy said with a sufficient level of quietness as to not be heard at all, including Big Mac but not herself.

“Hey,” Big Mac exposited.

The employee turned around. “How can I help you?”

“We’re looking for GummiBursts.”

“Sorry, we’re all out.”

“Already?”

“Yeah. We had about forty or fifty bags left a couple hours ago, but somezebra came and bought them all.”

“Well, that’s just selfish.”

“Sorry... there are still a lot of other selections to select from, though.”

“I guess we—well, I, we’re not together—I’ll find something else.”

“Yeah. Sorry....”

And so Big Mac and Fluttershy went to the first of the eight confectionery aisles. Normally there weren’t that many, but you know, Ha’llo’we’en.

“Why are we still walking together?” Big Mac said.

“I don’t mind it,” Fluttershy said.

Unfortunately, the subsequent searching was surprisingly boring and non-shippy, so who’s next down the coverage line? Looks like Rainbow and Applejack.

“You can’t trick or treat, you’re too old for it,” Applejack said through a mouthful of imitation lettuce.

“Pinkie’s goin’ this year,” Rainbow said through a mouthful of Liechtensteiner chard.

“So? She’s Pinkie Pah, y’know how she is.”

“I know, but I don’t have any plans for givery of sweets.”

“You can stay ‘ere an’ do stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Well, Big Mac’s gettin’ the sweets, so... you could... er...”

“Yeah?”

“...You could hide the eggs tonaht.”

“I’m goin’ to Twilight—”

“You don’t have to go, we can have sex or somethin’. Ah ain’t doin’ anythin’.”

“Mmkay.”

“Maybe they’re in the FynnuVyeara aisle,” Rarity told herself even though she had already looked there thrice.

“Maybe they’re in the FynnuVyeara aisle,” Big Mac said about a completely different sweet.

“Hello,” said Rarity.

“Hi,” and Big Mac with a surprisingly weak answer here.

“I can’t find any GummiBursts.”

“We gave up on that a long time ago.”

“You? I mean the plural you. Stupid English. Anyway, you two are together?”

“Not romantically, but in the context of looking for Ha’llo’we’en candy.”

“I see.”

“That’s offensive to blind ponies.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Well, you have fun knowing that you could be looking for GummiBursts.” She walked off dramatically.

“Look,” Fluttershy said, pointing towards them, “Xtreem K@ndi Skwairz!”

“lol,” Big Mac said.

And so that’s what they got. Before we go to commercial, here’s a recap.

HA’LLO’WE’EN STATUS PRESENTED BY CAEB

Following success from the previous year, Twilight will once again give out rice balls. Their graphics are expected to be changed into popcorn balls for the North American release.

Applejack is expected to give out Xtreem K@ndi Skwairz. Rainbow, working at the same house as her this Ha’llo’we’en, will be on egg hidification duty; the eggs will most likely contain the various apple-flavoured candies from last year whose spot has been taken by Xtreem K@ndi Skwairz. Decorations will presumably be put up by Applejack and Big Mac.

Fluttershy will also be giving out XKSes, a large step up from the baby carrots of last year.

Pinkie Pie will be going as something.

Octavia is not expected to participate in this year’s Ha’llo’we’en. Rumours exist that Lyra and Bon Bon will be hooving out sweets this year as an advertising ploy.

The Rich residence will field Nyew Yawks just to be annoying. Twist’s house will give out giant expensive candy cigars and feature an egg hunt likely to feature small candy canes.

The Welshtape family are having an egg hunt, with the eggs presumed to contain butterscotch sweets as last year.

Cheerilee has been carefully keeping her programme under wraps, but last year hid eggs containing fruit seeds and sunflower snacks.

Zecora will give out GummiBursts, easily making her the favourite for this year’s Ha’llo’we’en Foals’ Choice Award.

Rarity is still looking in Price✓Rong for GummiBursts.

Level 1: |

Level 2: /\

Level 3: /¯\

Level 4: |O̅|

Fortress Wars: build your empire!

Hello and welcome back to Equestrian Reality Network’s coverage of the 2012 Ha’llo’we’en period in Ponyville, brought to you by CAEB: CAEB turns you into a pegasus. Just some interviews before we end the day:

“What,” said interviewer and baker Chiffon, “Do,” she continued, “You think of the decrease in egg hunts compared to last year?”

“I don’t care,” Scootaloo said. “It’s not a big deal to me, doesn’t really make a difference. I’m really indifferent and neutral on it.”

“Your thoughts, Apple Bloom?”

“Ah kinda wish it was lahke last year. The egg hunts are the best part AhMO, so Ah’m kinda disappointed to see most of ‘em gone. The challenge was always fun, so it’s sad, and Ah kinda wish more of ‘em stayed since they were so fun.”

Chiffon travelled without incident to Rarity’s house/the Carousel Boutique for Sweetie Belle, unless you count nearly tripping off a landslide prevention wall and breaking a leg as incident.

“What do you think of the decrease in egg hunts compared to last year?”

“I am a little disappoint, but if they couldn’t come up with anything then I guess it’s better than having the same ones again. At least there are a few, so they’re not all gone, but still, it’s not as good as before.”

And so we close our broadcast with Zecora looking like the favourite for most liked this Ha’llo’we’en, at least in terms of sweets offered.

THE NEXT DAY!

The Cutie Mark Crusaders had congregated at a place they threatened to kill the transcriber there for specifying, Sweetie Belle’s room.

“Do we have any sort of plan about when to start?” said Sweetie Belle, this year going as Scootaloo.

“I’m waiting until the spaders find out what the best places are,” Scootaloo, this year going as Sweetie Belle, said. “Also, where’s Apple Bloom?”

“Ah’m here,” Apple Bloom, going as an invisible version of herself, said, “Just invisible.”

Diamond Tiara and Twist, meanwhile, were at Diamond’s house.

“When should we leave?” Diamond Tiara, going as herself, said. It was 17:30—now 17:31—and tensions were running low.

“First, we’ll need more tensions,” Twist, going as Silver Spoon, said, “But maybe in fifteen minutes.”

“Where’s your costume?” Twilight said to Spike.

“I’m going as a dragon.”

“...Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re so fucking lazy.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say to your... well, not foal, but you know.”

“Well, you’re mature enough to be sworn to. Where’s your Ha’llo’we’en bucket?”

“I’ll get it.”

EXPANDING OCTAGON WIPE!

“Good,” Twilight said, seeing Spike with his plastic egg-shaped bucket.

“When should I go out?”

“In 9.8 minutes.”

“So... basically ten minutes?”

“If you want to be twelve seconds late, then sure.”

Meanwhile, Pinkie was in her house, or floor, or flat, or something, where she was wearing a ninja suit covering her not face, an eyepatch, and a shoulder parrot, as well as holding a katana-shaped piece of grey plastic in her mouth. She tried to say something, but ended up dropping the katana instead.

“This’ll do,” she said now that she wasn’t holding anything in her mouth.

Nine minutes and forty-six seconds later!

“You ready?” Twilight said.

“I need the lavatory.”

Afterwards!

“You ready?” Twilight said.

“Let’s do this!”

“You mean you do this? Because I’m staying back here, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Spike left for adventure and sweets, primarily sweets, and ten seconds later Twilight heard a knock on the door. She went down and opened it.

“Trick or treat!” Spike said, holding out his bucket.

“Spike.”

“Fine....”

“Mm mm mm mm-mm,” Twist said, holding about two dozen strands of spaghetti in her mouth, except they were rubber and not spaghetti.

“What?”

Twist dropped them. “I got the tensions.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah. Why, did you expect something else?”

“Don’t talk unless you have something really, really important to say.”

Twist didn’t respond.

“Exactly.”

“Oucheronis,” Apple Bloom said, “That’s mah head!”

“Well, why did you go as somepony who’s invisible?” Scootaloo said.

“‘Cause there are so many possibilities for scariness! All you did was go as Sweetie Belle! An’ Sweetie Belle ain’t scary, look at ‘er. Well, she looks lahke you right now, but you know what Ah mean. Not that you’re scary.”

“But imagine all the hilarious confusion!”

“It didn’t work for Dahmond an’ Silver Spoon.”

“There’s a first time for everything.”

“Bah that logic, the world could just spontaneously blow up, but we know it ain’t gonna.”

“Remember when Virgin blew up?”

“Yeah, but it didn’t just explode for no reason.”

“Whatever. Point is that we’re doing it better than they did.”

“Ah’ll enjoy watchin’ you fail.”

“No, you won’t, because we won’t fail.”

“You’ll see.”

“You’ll see.”

“So so far,” Spike said, looking towards the camera and walking, “I’ve gotten an Xtreem K@ndi Skwair, a Now and Fucking Forever, and a tame berry Starburst. I hope I get something other than candy squares next house.”

Spike went over to the next house without tripping. On the porch was a large silver bowl filled with Sky Squairs, next to which stood a caret-shaped piece of paper reading “TAKE ONE”. Spike walked up and, after considering pouring the entire bowl into his basket, took one.

“Fucking candy squares,” he grumbled under his breath.

“The time is now,” Diamond Tiara said. Twist considered replying with something like “Well, duh, how could it not be now?”, but remembered the no speech rule. They put on their bags and set off. Due to the aforementioned rule, there was no banter between them.

“Welperdoozerywhatsiteroniflakingtons,” Scootaloo said, “Now seems like a good time to go.”

“Based on what?” Apple Bloom said.

“Based on the fact that it’s 5:47.”

“An’?”

“If you need more of a reason than 5:47, I don’t even know who you are.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’ve never felt more content with myself in my life.”

“You ready, Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom said.

“On one condition,” Sweetie Belle said.

“What?”

“I don’t know, that felt dramatic.”

And so the CMC set off for confectionery. Usually when they set off, it was for adventure, but not this time.

Generic Pony opened the door.

“Trick or treat!” Spike said in the cutest voice he could muster.

Generic Pony put a prophecy cookie (wrapped) in the bucket.

“ty!” Spike said in the cutest voice he could muster before leaving the premises. “W00t!” he said with a capital W. “Not a candy square!”

“I can’t believe she gave you a pack of GummiBursts,” Scootaloo said.

“‘Cause Ah’m awesome,” Apple Bloom said.

“Should we go to the house on top of that really steep hill this time?” Sweetie Belle said.

“They had rice balls last tahme. What do you think, Scootaloo?”

“I think it’s worth it.”

“You always think stuff’s worth it.”

“Because it is. Whenever you don’t do something, you always wish you did after we go back home.”

“Ah guess you’re raht.”

Twist looked at Diamond Tiara for a moment, still getting used to not talking.

“And you’re still lahke ‘thank ya’ even when it’s pencils or somethin’,” Apple Bloom said. “Whah do we gotta do that?”

“Because it’s polite,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Yeah, fahne, whatever, but what would happen if Ah actually said ‘fuck you’ or somesuch lahke resemblin’ that?”

“I don’t know, but don’t do it. It’s a basic social rule.”

“Well, Ah’m gonna xkcd Freedom it up tonaht.”

“That sounds like a bad idea.”

“You sound like a bad idea.”

“What?”

“Ah dunno.”

Meanwhile at Spike, a sign on someone’s lawn stated “Seeking of egg is to be found here.”. He assumed that meant he should check the inside of every single thorn-ridden bush there for eggs, which he was currently doing, when in fact all of the eggs had already been taken by earlier trick-or-treaters.

“You’re wearing the same costume from last year?” Arserscotch said in the standard bored apathetic female teenager voice.

“It’s pretty much the same. The only thing that’s different is underneath my hat.”

“Well, what’s the point if nopony can see it?”

“It keeps the hat stabler, which helps my aerodynamics and lets me walk with less effort.”

“You’re weird....”

“True, but not for the reasons you’re thinking of.”

“Fine!” Scootaloo said to Apple Bloom, stomping on the ground, which slightly disrupted her walking for a moment. “We’ll just do a segment without you! Hey, Sweetie Belle!”

“What?”

“How’s the weather?”

“I don’t know, it feels like it’s around ten degrees. 10% chance of precipitation.”

“That’s very interesting.”

“No, it’s not.”

“I know....”

“See?” Apple Bloom said.

“Fine,” Scootaloo said, “You win. Hey, should we do the arduous journey to Zecora?”

“Ah hear she has GummiBursts.”

“Well, there’s your answer.”

“Where are they?” Spike said. “They can’t all be gone already, can they?”

“What’s with all the candy squares this year?” Diamond Tiara said.

Walking continued.

Diamond Tiara turned to Twist. “You’re good with sweets. Why are there so many candy squares this year?”

Twist didn’t answer.

Diamond sighed. “Silver picked up on this so much faster. More quickly. You’re supposed to answer me when I axe you a question.”

“I don’t know what the deal is with the candy squares, okay?”

“I thought you were supposed to know everything about sweets and sweetal history.”

“I’m eight or something.”

“Fine.”

And so with nothing happening foalwise, let’s go over to Twilight.

“Still got the same Dumbledore costume from last year?” transcriber #4 said.

“So?”

“Meh, I’ll forget to imagine it anyway.”

“You’re here.”

Let’s try Rainbow and A... oh Faust, ew, okay, let’s not try them.

“So Applejack abandoned you and now you’re stallioning the sweets?” camerapony #1 said.

“Eeyup.”

“Trick or treat!” said Pinkie Pie.

“You’re sixteen,” said Twilight.

“So? You’re never too old for trick-or-treating!”

“Yes, you are, and you’re too old for it.”

“Come on! Just give me the rice ball!”

“No.”

“Fine. Everypony else seems fine with me.”

Pinkie stormed off before Twilight could teach her the value of thinking for yourself, or whatever she was going to do.

“What?” Twilight, who had a decent view of the transcriber’s laptop, said. “I wasn’t going to do anything like that.”

“Sure you weren’t.”

“I wasn’t!”

“Suuure you’re weren’t.”

Twilight’s horn started glowing.

“If you could not kill me, that would be great for myself and your criminal record! Please.”

“Tricker-treat!” Diamond and Twist said simultaneously, as you do. Usually, this was followed by the adult trying to pick up a tiny piece of candy with a hoof for thirty seconds, but she was a unicorn, so it wasn’t a problem.

“thx!” they said simultaneously before walking off for the next house.

“So I accused her of argument from authority,” Rainbow said to a very bored-looking Applejack, “And she was like ‘no, you’re using undue weight’ so then—”

But then something more interesting happened, namely the CMC coming home. Well, it was only home for Apple Bloom, but oh well.

“Hey, bro,” Apple Bloom to said Big Mac, who was still outside.

Big Mac didn’t respond, then Apple Bloom knocked the door. Not meaning those are related or anything. But you know what is related? Think about this: As the number of wind turbines on Earth has increased, so has the average temperature. And governments still say they inhibit global warming. There’s clearly some bribery of some form going on from the wind turbine companies to the governments of major countries.

“You okay, Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo said.

“I’m fine,” Sweetie Belle said. “I know that was a huge fall, but nothing hurts.”

“Cool,” they both said. “I’m gonna see what my eggs have.”

“...You know you’re talking all synchronised, right?”

“Yeah.”

Candy dumping ensued.

Meanwhile, Diamond Tiara and Twist were going through something similar. They went up to the door and Diamond noticed something.

“The bowl of Yawks is just like it was before.”

“None of them were taken,” Filthy Rich said.

“What?!”

“None of them were taken.”

“Why would nopony come here? They’d get sweets. Foals like sweets! I can’t believe every foal in Ponyville did this.”

“One came,” Filthy Rich said before entering a flashback.

“Tri—” the colt stopped himself once he realised what was in the bowl. “Oh. Never mind.” He walked off.

“Unbelievable!” Diamond Tiara said, stomping a hoof for release.

“Sorry, but there isn’t anything I could do.”

“It’s okay,” she said, contradicting the hoof-stamping from earlier. “I still have sweets. You can’t be a foal, sad, and eating sweets all at the same time.”

“What if you got a phonecall saying Silver Spoon just died?” Twist said.

“Well, okay, but I wasn’t being literal.”

Big Mac bargèd in without knocking, holding the bowl in... uh... holding the bowl, which had one remaining sweet left in it, a mentally draining size Mystery Bar of Mysterious Flavour Mystery. MBsMFM had twenty flavours: aerosol cheese, CAEB, dummied early flavour, durian, fire, glue, lemon, mixed wild berry, MBMFM, Mylar, not strawberry, oolong, pink, poorly-cooked spinach, RageCandyBar, salt, the pain of rejection, unbuttered popcorn, victory, and water. You had a worse than even chance of getting something good, but they were still really popular for some reason. He placed the bowl on the table.

“I’m not dumb enough to like MBMFMs,” Scootaloo said, note the incorrect pluralisation, “So one of you can have it.”

“Meh,” Apple Bloom said.

“I’ll take it,” Sweetie Belle said. “Wimps.”

“Watch your language,” Apple Bloom said with extremely overdone sarcasm.

Sweetie Belle bit half the white chocolate-coated MBMFM, which turned out to be pain of rejection-flavoured. She immediately teared up.

“Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom said. “Whah are you sweatin’ through your ahs?”

“I got rejection,” Sweetie Belle said between sobs.

“It’s okay,” Scootaloo said, “You’ll find another—”

“I don’t want another chocolate bar, I want the delicious nougat and suspiciously-textured filling of MBsMFM.”

Big Mac threw a smoke bomb and disappeared.

“Look, Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said, “We know you love MBsMFM, but you gotta move on from this. Maybe you’ll find somesweet else you like just as much.”

“Well... I have been feeling something for GummiBursts recently....”

“Hey!” Scootaloo said, stomping a hoof. “GummiBursts is mine. Hooves off.”

“Oh, please. She never loved you, she’s said so very clearly.”

“Did you even hear how she keeps saying it? She’s totally in denial.”

“That’s just what you’re telling yourself. You know she doesn’t have any feelings for you. Either way, you’re not officially in a relationship, so who are you to say who she can see?”

“Fine. It’s not like it matters that much since she’ll never love you.”

“We’ll see.”

“Yes, we will.”

“You have fun with your art you don’t have the talent for.”

“You have fun with your Spanish you’ll never learn.”

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo walked away in different directions.

One, two, three, four, knock-knock on Twilight’s door.

Twilight got the door; as she expected, ‘twas Spike.

“Hello,” she said, “What was your night like?”

“It was fun,” Spike said, with a full bucket. “There were three, four houses left, but I was like fuck it, I can’t carry more and I have enough. Rice balls and trauma and candy and stuff.”

“Trauma?” she said, with minor concern. “What happened to you? Let me guess, did you learn?”

“Very funny,” he said, before arrow and knee, “But it’s sad what ‘trick’’s meant since 2003. It used to be give us candy or it’ll mean drama, but now it’s the adults; we get candy or trauma. They’re supposed to be the ones threatened, not us. I know, minor thing, and I’m making a fuss....”

“You do have a point, I have to agree. I don’t like it as much since 2003. It used to be ‘trick’ meant ‘I’ll mess up your yard’, as opposed to now, where a filly is scarred. Like you said, the tricks should be at the adults, not the fillies. Just thinking what happens to some of them gives me a nervous feeling....”

“I’m glad you agree with me, but what can we do? I’m not coming up with something out of the blue.”

“Well, we have a year, so there’s hardly a rush. Hey, do you know what happened to the longish manebrush?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, Dahmond,” Apple Bloom said facing the camera, “Check this out.” She raised up a coral pink strand of rubber about sixteen centimetres long and two in diameter.

“An elevension?!” Diamond Tiara, having the chapter on during her sweets-eating, said. “That bitch! Can you believe that, Twist?”

“What’s an elevension?”

Diamond rolled her eyes. “You don’t know?”

“I’m eight or ten or something, I’m allowed to not know things.”

“It’s like a tension, but ridiculous and unfunny.”

“Wouldn’t that make tensions better?”

“No. Do you know anything about sions?”

“I know what a tension is.”

“That’s it?”

“I didn’t even know there were other kinds.”

Diamond sighed dramatically. “Why did I ever replace Silver for you....”

“Because—”

“I don’t need to be reminded, it was a rhetorical question.”

“,”  said.

“,”  said.

“.”

“?”

“.”  performed an action.

“.”

“Nom,” Spike said.

“Nom,” said Apple Bloom.

“Om nom,” Scootaloo replied.

“Maybe this would be a good time to end the chapter,” transcriber #1 told base.

“Nom,” Twist said.

Next Chapter: Chapter 139: Battle of the Sexes Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 38 Minutes