“No,” Applejack said whilst branch mining. “We ain’t doin’ Applepah. No matter how awesome its name is, no. The love ah mah lahfe is Rainbow. Ah guess Ah love Pinkie Pah more than Ah love, say, Rarity, but still, ew.”

“No,” Pinkie said whilst waiting for a consumer to appear so something would happen. “We’re not doing Applepie. No matter how awesome its name is, no. The love my life is Ze... I mean... I don’t have anything for Zecora. Nope. Nothing. I don’t need love anyway. But the point is that I don’t love Applejack. Well, I do, in a friendship kinda way, but in terms of romance, ew.”

“One of you’s gotta go over to the other,” camerapony #1 said. “And it’s gonna be you, due to the fact that Pinkie Pie is currently performing an actual occupation, whilst you are playing a video game. Thus, you going to Pinkie Pie would have less of an effect on society.”

“But it’s Mahnecraft.”

“Singleplayer Minecraft.”

“Fine... didn’t you ponies say no more artificial stuffs lahke this?”

“Artificial stuffs are back like CAEB Raspberry, CAEB—”

“Ah get it.”

And so she ventured off for Sugarcube Corner. After an uneventful trip during which no significant events happened, Applejack safely arrived. She made it through the door without accidentally running up it.

“Hi, Applejack,” Pinkie said in her upbeat happy voice, which was also her normal voice.

“Hi. So d’y’know what we’re actually supposed to do?”

“They didn’t tell me anything.”

“Then what’s the point?”

“i dunno lol. Wanna play Dare?”

“What’s ‘Dare’?”

“It’s like Truth or Dare, but without the Truth option.”

“That sounds awesome.”

“It is! So Dare?”

“Huh?”

“Those are your choices. Dare.”

“Oh. Ah pick dare.”

“It’s Dare, and okay. I dare you to... buy something from Sugarcube Corner.”

“What?”

“Business is slow today.”

“Er...” Applejack took a Chocoblock bar from the newly-added sweet shelves, installed as part of stage one of the Cakes’ panicking to keep the business alive, and put it on the counter.

“That’ll be one bit,” Pinkie said. Applejack took a bit and put it on the counter.

“Hmm...” Pinkie said three letters without opening her mouth.

“What?”

“If I put this in the till, then there’ll be more than fifty bits in it.”

“Then Ah Dare ya to put it in.”

“Fine.” Pinkie put it in. “There.”

A pony wearing a balaclava over his head holding a pistol in his mouth burst through the doors. Applejack tried to put her forehooves up, falling over as a result, and Pinkie laid behind the counter and put her hooves behind her head. Robert, as the balaclava pony will be called, went to the counter. He dropped the gun from his mouth and caught it in his leg.

Pinkie got up and opened the till, but Robert found difficulty grabbing the money with a hoof. After thirty seconds of him failing to get any money out, Pinkie sighed.

“I’ll get it for you,” Pinkie said. “Do you have a bank robber bag or something for the money?”

“No.”

“Well, how did you expect to carry all this money?”

“I don’t know....”

“Well, come back with something to put the money in.”

“I will.”

He left the building.

“Well, that’s the closest Ah’ve come to dahin’ since Rainbow an’ Ah had The Incident.”

“‘The incident’?”

“Yep. The Incident.”

Silence.

“You wanna explain what The Incident is?”

“No.”

Silence.

“Ah guess Ah should go now,” Applejack said.

“You can’t go yet,” camerapony #1 said.

“Well, when can Ah go?”

“When I’m told you can go.”

Robert returned, looking the same as before including the gun in his mouth.

“You got somethin’ for the good stuff, hun?” Pinkie said.

Robert took off a balaclava to reveal that he was wearing two of them.

“Cool.”

Pinkie took the baglaclava and began putting the money into it. Applejack walked up to Robert and tried to reach and take the gun out of his mouth. Applejack was perpendicular to him, so it was awkward for her to do. Robert saw Applejack because he had peripheral vision and looked at her, which just made it easier for her to swipe the gun, which she did. The fact that he was holding it in his mouth whilst Applejack was using a hoof helped a bit as well. I mean, don’t get me wrong, hooves aren’t always perfect for holding things, even with bendy legs, but they’re better than teeth. Pinkie dramatically jumped at Robert and sent them both to the floor as Applejack quickly backed up a few steps on three legs, which looked funny but wasn’t really hard.

“Now it’s time to see who you really are,” Pinkie said before taking off the balaclava.

“Old Man Jenkins?!” Pinkie and Applejack said.

Enforcy burst into the room. “We’re looking for a prison esca—hey, you found him! Awesome!” He took a pair of hoofcuffs from under his police cap and cuffed Robert F. Jenkins, as his first and last name and middle initial are.

“You’re going to be spending a long time behind the slammer house,” Enforcy said in a deeper voice than he normally had.

“That’s what you said last time you took me to jail,” Jenkins said.

“Well, shut up,” Enforcy said. “Anyway, Pinkie Pie, Applejack. You’re both true heroes.”

“But we’re already true heroes,” Pinkie said. “And what do you have to do to be a false hero?”

“Well, shut up.”

And so Robert Jenkins was dragged into a police car and sent to prison.

Next Chapter: Chapter 138: Ha’llo’we’en Eve, As Well As the Subsequent Day, Ha’llo’we’en Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours