Starlight in a Broken Vessel

by the-pieman

Chapter 8

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Chapter 8

We sat in silence for a while, just reading. Eventually I get to a stopping point and put the book down. As I’m heading for the front door, Twilight stops me. “Where are you going? It’s practically midnight.”

“Yeah, I know. And as such, I am tired.” I open the door and step outside. Twilight once again used her magic to hold me in place. “But Where are you going?”



“Well, unless you have a bed for me, I’m gonna find somewhere else.”

That stopped her. The decision for me to stay was only made earlier today. Twilight tried to convince me otherwise. “But... why don’t you sleep on the table like when we found you?”

I reply with my best ‘You’ve gotta be kidding’ look.

“Well, where are you going to sleep, then?”

“Anywhere I want.”

“But... you can’t just do that!”

I enhance my size to five times my original height. “Assuming my weight increases with my height, I can now.”

“What? Why?”

“Because at this point I weigh about a thousand pounds.”

“I don’t get it...”

“Get your nose stuck in a joke book sometime. I’m gonna go find somewhere to sleep.”


“Seeya tomorrow, Twi.”

I dash off, using my longer legs to carry me as far from her as possible before she can react. I do hear a loud groan from behind me. Heheh, she mad.

Eventually I find a little field. Well, I’m rather big so I suppose it’s not that little. I find a nice soft patch of grass and nod off to sleep. Today was interesting.

I feel something tap me in the side. I roll over. It’s not morning until I say it is.

The pokes continue, but in different places. Then the voices.

“Whaddya think it is?” Poke to my side.

“No idea. It looks weird.” Poke to my elbow.

“It’s kinda squishy.” Poke to my chest.

“You think Miss Cheerilee will know? Poke to my forehead.

“Sure, Miss Cheerilee knows everything!” Poke to my cheek. I’ve had enough.

As soon as I feel the next poke, in my stomach, I grab the thing that was poking me.

“Woah! It’s moving!”

I realize that I am holding a stick. Now I’m really annoyed.

I sit up and look at my inquisitors. A pair of small ponies. Unicorns. One looks fat, the other one looks more like a tiny giraffe.

They turn to run, but I grab them both by the base of their necks. I hold their shivering bodies up to my face, glaring at them.

“This. Is not. A petting zoo.”

They gulp, and start flailing. I stand up, now carrying them both, one under each arm.

“You know, you two are pretty stupid.”

They are now whimpering.

With a sigh, I look around. I see a little red building. It’s the closest place, so why not?

I go up to the door and tap on it with my foot. After a few minutes, the door opens. Surprise surprise, another pony. This one kind of a subdued pink. Or maybe some shade of purple. Whatever.

“O- oh my.”

“Close your mouth, you look like a fish.”

She shuts her jaw and stares up at me. Even though I’m only in my normal size, I’m still a decent foot or so taller than her.

I decide to get this over with. I hold up the two young ponies, making sure she can see them both.

“I don’t know if these things are yours, and I honestly don’t care. They’re your problem, deal with them.”

I drop them at her feet unceremoniously and walk off. I like kids, but only when they aren’t pricks.

I realize I don’t really know which way I went when I left the library, as it was rather dark. I stopped a few ponies in the road to ask for directions, but the dang horses wouldn’t stop stammering. Eventually I come across what seems to be a giant gingerbread house. Eh, I’m hungry. Might as well ask if they have anything for free. I mean, it’s a gingerbread house. There’s no way it didn’t offer some kind of food. If it didn’t, that’d be the worst marketing ploy in the history of everything.

I walk in the door, ducking my head a bit to avoid the doorway. “Hello? Is anyone here?”

A blue mare with pink whipped cream for hair came in from a back door and greeted me, not looking up until she actually reached the counter.

“Er... um... hello there?”

“Yeah, hi. Got anything to eat? I’m hungry... and broke.”

“Well, uh...I...”

“Fine, if you don’t offer free samples, how about directions to the library?”

The mare just stared at me, pointing numbly to the Northwest. “Thanks.”

I walk off. Celestia was right, these ponies really need to get used to me.

It’s not a long trek before I come across the library. This town needs some sort of tourist map. I open the door and let myself in, plopping down in the chair I sat in last night. My book was on the center table, so I picked it up.

I barely read a few sentences when Twilight comes down the stairs, her hair a complete mess. “Oh, it’s you...”

“Well, good morning to you too, Miss Sunshine.”

With a sigh she made her way to the kitchen. At least that’s what I assume, as that’s where she brought in the ice cream from.

After a while, I hear a sharp whistle, I recognize the sound as a tea kettle. I wonder what kind of tea they have in Equestria. I hope they actually prepare it right, and it’s not just boiled leaf-water.

Twilight enters the room with a kettle and ceramic cup floating a bit behind her head.

“So how strong is that stuff?”


“Not much of a talker today, are you?”

“Anthony, shut up, or I’ll glue you to the ceiling by your nose.”

“Oh come on, that’s best threat you have? I can think of way worse things.”

“I’m sure you can.”

“Like, say, pull out someone’s lower intestine, tie it into a noose and asphyxiate them with it.”

That’s disgusting!”

“Hence why it’s a good threat.”

“Just... shut up.” She takes a long drink from the cup, and refills it.

At this point Spike is coming down the stairs, and comes out of the kitchen with his own teacup.

“Please tell me you’re a morning person.”

“Already met ‘morning Twilight’ I take it?”

“Yep. What a crank.”

“You know I’m right here!”

“And your point being?”


“You know, I never got an answer. How strong’s that tea?”

Twilight glares daggers at me. “Here, why don’t you find out!?”

Next thing I know, I’m covered in boiling hot tea with an upturned kettle laying on my head. “Holy crap that’s hot!”

“Enjoy.” Twilight responded icily, heading for the kitchen, presumably to make more tea.

I nudge Spike. "She totally digs me."

Spike looks at me, a strange look on his face. He just shakes his head and returns to his cup.

I decide to wash myself off. Luckily the sinks in Equestria function pretty much the same.

Once I’ve cleaned my head of the hot beverage, I take a look in the mirror. It seems that when Celestia used me as a human matchstick, my hair was scorched black as opposed to the usual brown, and it was much shorter than I remember. I also lack eyebrows. The strangest part was that my skin seems completely untouched. Strange. Maybe she healed me, but left me with the haircut for kicks.

I decide to keep reading my book. If it weren’t for the fact that Indiana Jones probably didn’t exist here, I’d probably call it copyright infringement. If I was George Lucas, I’d be pissed.

It wasn’t bad, but this Daring Do character is like a total ripoff. If she were real, I’d probably call her a phony.

Anyway, I hear a knock at the door, and Spike goes over to answer it. Upon opening it, a pink blur I suppose is Pinkie Pie rushes in, and starts jumping up and down on top of my chest. Yep. Pinkie.

“Good morning! Did you sleep well? I wanted to come over earlier but Twilight’s kinda grumpy in the morning so I waited! I can’t wait for your welcome party! Oh I forgot to tell you I planned a welcome party for you! I also invited a bunch of ponies so they can meet you! It’s at Sugarcube Corner of course! Wait you’ve never been to Sugarcube Corner before! Come on let’s go!”

I am now being dragged by my arm at high speed. I don’t know how Pinkie can do anything like this, but at least it’s not being stuck inside the library with a grumpy Twilight.

Eventually Pinkie starts to slow down and she pulls me to my feet. I realize I’m in front of the gingerbread shop again. Wait a sec.

“Is this Sugarcube Nook?”

“Corner. Sugarcube Corner. And you bet it is!”

“Huh, small world. But why does it look like a gingerbread house?”

“Because gingerbread houses are delicious! It helps to sell treats like cakes and pies and cupcakes!”

“Why not make it look like a cake then? And why call it Sugarcube Corner? The name and outer design fit the sweets theme, but they are a bit misleading. I’d expect a place called Sugarcube Corner to be a sugar factory.”

“Oh don’t worry about that, let’s party!” She pushes me through the door and into the bakery I was in not five hours ago. Pinkie makes herself known in her usual manner: Loudly. “Mrs. Cake! I’m back, and I brought Anthony!”

From the kitchen I hear the voice of the mare from earlier. “That’s great Pinkie, you’ve certainly been building up this mystery friend of yours.” She comes out of the back just like before. “I can’t wait to meet... oh.”

I give a little wave. “Hey, how ya doing?”

The mare sighs. “Why am I not surprised?” Next Chapter: Chapter 9 Estimated time remaining: 33 Hours, 25 Minutes

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