This is bad. I quickly run to a shelf and open a book.

“Ohhhhhhhh no.”

I could read. It’s not possible to read in dreams...

“Okay, I suppose an apology is in order...”

“An... apology?” Rainbow Dash seemed rather confused.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I thought this was all a dream, so I was kind of a jerk. I figured that since it wasn’t real there wouldn’t be consequences for my actions.”

Twilight looked a bit thoughtful. “Well, I suppose that makes sense, and you didn’t really hurt anypony... I accept your apology.”

She puts her hoof up towards me, so I take it in my hand and shake it.

This time the pink one was jumping up and down asking a million questions. But she slows down for the last one. “And how’d you do that growing thing!?”

Another epiphany. “I... I don’t know! I can’t do that! Well, I never could before...”

This got a collective “What!?” from the lot of them.

“Yeah, so I can grow now. I wonder...”

I concentrate hard on changing size again. I look up. I didn’t change. “Awww man.”

“You could only do it once?” Twilight asked, now levitating a quill and her notepad.

“Maybe, I’m not sure. I was trying to shrink.”

Rainbow Dash had a rather incredulous look on her face. “Why would anypony want to be small?”

“Because it has plenty of advantages.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

“Whatever.”

“So now what?”

“I suppose we can figure out exactly what you can do.”

I put on a rather snarky grin. “Well, I can read and write, I’m good at video games and-”

“I didn’t mean like that.” Twilight said, an annoyed look on her face.

“I know.”

“Well, then why answer like that? It doesn’t make sense!”

“But making sense isn’t fun.”

For some reason, this gave them all a start. Now they’re looking at each other.

“What’s with the worried looks? I’m just playing around. You know, like a game.”

Now they are all staring at me. Suddenly, a blinding flash from Twilight and now they’ve all got these weird choker-necklaces, except Twilight, who has a tiara.

“I’m going to say this once, and only once. Leave us alone Discord, or you go back to being stone.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t know how you got out, and I don’t really care. Now get out of here, Discord!”

“Who?”

Again, I’m staring at Rainbow Dash’s eyes. “Don’t give us that! As soon as we turn our backs, you’re going to fly off and start messing with Equestria!”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sorry Discord, we aren’t falling for that!” Twilight exclaimed.

Her eyes started to glow a bright white, and the six of them flew into the air around her.

A rainbow-colored ribbon of energy formed between their necklaces, spiraling around and connecting to Twilight’s tiara.

“What the-”

A blast of rainbow energy flew up, and began to descend in an arc.

I put up my arms to protect me, silently wishing that whatever was about to happen wouldn’t hurt.

Seconds pass. Nothing happens. I open my eyes, the ponies are on the ground again, and rather surprised.

“Uh... what was that?”

Twilight pulls the other five into a huddle, putting up a magic barrier around them. It seems to be blocking out sound, as I can see them talking, but I can’t hear them.

Finally the pink bubble dissipates and the six ponies turn to face me.

“Okay, you aren’t Discord, but we still don’t know what happened.”

“Neither do I. Suddenly you’re all angry and shoot rainbows at me. Not very effective, as I didn’t feel anything at all.”

“That’s what we’re curious about. How’d you negate the Elements of Harmony?”

“The what?”

Twilight sighed heavily, her hoof to her face “The giant rainbow thing.”

“Oh. I dunno. I just didn’t want it to hit me.”

Twilight looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train.

“But... well, it didn’t hit you. That’s the problem...”

“How’s it a problem?”

“Well, normally, if the Elements wouldn’t have worked, we either wouldn’t have been able to use them at all, or the beam would hit but change nothing. What you did... was stop the Elements!”

“So...”

“I’m taking you to Princess Celestia.”

“Oooh, a princess. Is she hot?”

Now they all gave me the cow-look.

“What? Is she ugly or something?”

Cue collective gasp.

Rainbow Dash spoke up first “You shouldn’t say anything like that about Princess Celestia...”

“Celestia? Hmmm... if the name is meaningful, then I’d assume she has some connection with an interstellar object or is an interstellar being herself.”

“Well... you got the first part right, I suppose.” Twilight replied. “Anyway, we should get her over here.”

“So when will this princess show up?”

“When she’s able to, she’s probably very busy.”

“With what? She’s a princess! They’ve got, like, zero responsibility. Let the King handle it.”

This time Fluttershy responds. “We, uh, don’t have a king. Or a queen. We just have Princess Celestia and her sister Luna.”

“What kind of weird hierarchy do you crazy horses even have?”

“One that’s worked for over 2,000 years straight.” A curt reply from the white fancy one. Rarity I think I heard them say.

“Anyone around to prove that?”

“Huh?”

“Well, unless someone who was that old, other than the one who says it’s true that is, says it’s true, I’m gonna say that sounds like propaganda.”

Another collective gasp. Are these ponies part fish or something?

Suddenly bright light.

“Geez, does anybody give any warning, or do they turn on the floods whenever the heck they want?”

When I can see again, I notice a new pony. Well, more like a horse. She was... big. Like, about as tall as me. She also looked rather important, a certain royal air around her.

“I suppose you’re Celestia?”

“Yes I am. I have come to meet you.”

“Of course you did, I’m awesome.”

“Quite the attitude, I see.”

“Don’t like me? Send me back.” I stick my tongue out at her.

“I don’t have any idea how you even got here, or where you came from.”

“That’s easy, I came from my mom.”

This earned a chuckle from the Princess. “A comedian as well, you certainly are interesting. Especially with the information my faithful student has sent me.”

“And what information is that.” I fein horror. “She didn’t tell you anything... naughty did she?” I accentuate the word further by wiggling my eyebrows.

“No, she did not. Also, your crass humor isn’t entirely appreciated.”

“Not entirely? Does that mean you like it a little?”

“I’m not going to continue this conversation, Mr. Anthony.”

“Oh, very well. And here I thought you’d be fun. So boring, Celestia.”

She blinked at this. “Hmmm...”

“Finally realize you’re a stick in the mud?”

By this point, the four of the ponies have their jaws on the floor, Fluttershy is fanning Twilight who has fainted.

“I wouldn’t test me, Anthony.”

“Why? Afraid you’d get a bad grade?”

She provides me with the second facehoof I’ve seen. “I’m not sure if I want to be your friend, or roast you.”

“I love you too!” I give her a hug. She’s actually rather warm, her fur is soft.

“Ahem, yes, well... I will be taking us to Canterlot now.”

After the flash subsides, we are somewhere else. A large room. A pair of thrones at the top of some steps.

“You know, you could make millions in Vegas.”

“As much as I’d, er, enjoy continuing our small-talk, I would like to know more about you.”

“Oh, of course.”

“Thank you, start with yourself.”

“Okay. I’m almost twenty, am a bit of an introvert, and I’m looking for a girl who-”

“Anthony, please, this is serious.”

“Oh, fine, fine. I don’t know how I got here, and somehow, I can become super-giant.”

“Could you... demonstrate?”

“Only if I get ice cream.”

Rarity piped up “Oh, not this again.”

“Hey, ice cream is good!”

“He’s right, ice cream is delicious!” The pink one agrees.

“Finally, a pony who’s talking sense!” I give the pony a high five.

Celestia sighs. “How about this, if you answer my questions, you will get all the ice cream you want.”

I grin wide, causing Celestia to make an addendum to her statement. “Until the end of the day.”

“Define ‘end’ of the day.”

“...midnight.”

“Deal!”

Next Chapter: Chapter 4 Estimated time remaining: 33 Hours, 52 Minutes