Starlight in a Broken Vessel

by the-pieman

Chapter 133

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Chapter 133

Thinking back on the last few hours, I can’t form any thought other than a somewhat wary, mildly embarrassed ‘Well, that happened’ response. It doesn’t help that I finally came to my senses with Celestia’s head in my lap, and Twilight asleep on Celestia’s back. Rarity must’ve wandered off at some point, as she wasn’t in the library anymore.

“So uh... we agree to never ever talk about this happening, ever again... Deal?”

Twilight squeaks, and moves to get off the sleeping princess in my lap. A huge white wing shifts to put her back though, so she just stays in place, looking too afraid to move. It looks like she’s trying to curl into a fetal position on Celestia’s back, trying not to touch anything.

“Are you guys finally done being stupid yet?” Spike walks in, looking rather annoyed. “Seriously, that was not cool.”

I wince, as the memories come back, but one was kinda funny. “Oh man, did Twilight actually think you were her kid?”

Spike huffs. “I don’t even know where she got that diaper from...”

Twilight looks horribly ashamed. “I’m soooo sorry Spike. I don’t know what I was thinking! Can you forgive me?” She pouts, but all of her words are in a loudish whisper.

Spike rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I guess nothing that bad happened. But seriously, why would you do something like that?”

I decide to answer. “Because neither of us knew what was in those brownies until after we’d eaten them. That’s why.”

Twilight looks up. “The brownies? I thought that cannabis is an herb meant to be burned like incense.”

Celestia, eyes still vaguely red, chuckles a bit. “Twilight, you still have a lot to learn... Oh I haven’t done that in ages... now I kind of forget why I stopped...” she sighs.

Twilight, somehow, looks a thousand times more guilty, ashamed, and upset by the thought of Celestia being high than Celestia herself does. I think Twilight might need a ‘don’t idolize’ song more than Scootaloo at this point.

“Just remember.” Celestia continues. “It’s completely harmless, as long as it’s not overused, and it’s not used before anything important is supposed to happen.  I admit I was a bit rash in my decision to... join in, but nothing of consequence will come of it. It’s like candy. It’s nice to have every once in a while, but sometimes, there’s too much of a good thing. What you did is perfectly normal. In fact, most ponies try it before they are your age... though that doesn’t help when they have studying to do.”

Twilight nods. “So... I’m not in trouble?” The sterling hope in her voice at the end of the question makes her look like a puppy picture on the internet being cute.

I chuckle. “Of course not. Now, if you did it before you were supposed to, Idunno, take a test or something, you’d probably fail the second you picked up a pencil. God knows what you’d write.”

“Well, yes, he’s right.” Celestia agrees. “Though if you continue to use it when it is inappropriate to do so, then you will be in big trouble.”

Twilight nods quickly, then swears to never touch the stuff ever again. I roll my eyes. “It’s not that bad.”

“I don’t care! I do not want to end up like that again! I never even wanted to do it in the first place!”

“Fine, fine... still not that bad though. Hey Celestia, what’s going on with you? Y’know, since you’re here and all.”

her eyes narrow at me, and her brow furrows a little. “Have you not- mmph, you’ll get there in time. Honestly? Hearing my faithful student had been afflicted by some terrible hex was a delightful distraction from the Argentum family trying to convince me to let the lands surrounding Ponyville be passed onto them. They’ve been trying for nearly three centuries now, so I at least have to give them points for being persistent.” She shakes her head irritably. “They already own a large number of farms elsewhere in Equestria, and I granted this land to the Apple family originally as a gift. I won’t take it away for some noble’s new vacation spot.”

That was a bit of a shock. I hadn’t realized the Apples owned... “Wait, the entire land, or just Sweet Apple Acres?””

“Technically, more than four-fifths of this vale is owned by Mrs. Smith, if I remember the existing inheritance paths correctly.” Celestia answers blithely, standing up and blinking slowly. Her eyes are still a little red, so I figure this is the best chance I’ll get at asking a few questions without her thinking too hard on the answers.

“So... Does this mean that, once Granny Smith kicks the bucket, Applejack’s gonna own this entire town and, by extension, every household on said land?”

“Technically, yes, as she’d be a titled noble then. For now, she’s just a lady-in-waiting, of a sort.” Celestia’s eyes track slowly to follow a dust mote.

“Does this mean that, when the time comes, AJ would have the chance to become mayor and run this town? Like, as an elected official, in charge of practically any new developments?”

Celestia titters. There’s really no other word for the form of laughter she gave at this question. “Oh, goodness no.” I feel a little off-put. AJ would make an exc- “She’d be a baroness, and the mayor would be working for her. As it stands, Mrs. Smith simply lets the mayoral office run itself since she can’t make it to the city hall to make orders anymore.” Twilight leaves to go find something to drink, leaving me alone with Celestia.

Oh man... I have a feeling Rarity hasn’t heard this little detail. Wonder what kind of information I could trade for this. “So, just to clarify... I know that Twilight isn’t Spike’s biological mother, but since she hatched him and, I assume raised him, does that mean she’s his adopted mother or something?”

“On papers, Spike is legally listed as my adopted son, actually, but he’s always treated Twilight like his mother. I helped raise him when Twilight was too young to do it herself, but the moment she felt she knew enough, she spent as much time as possible with him...” Her expression has softened entirely, though I think it’s the memories more than any form of weed in her system. “Watching her raise Spike as a hatchling meant so much to me, even when she’d occasionally slip and call me ‘mom’, and when Spike would sometimes call me ‘granma’.” Her smile seems genuinely warm and inviting. “I miss those days.”

“Well I think that’s pretty easy to fix. Just find someone willing and wait a few months.” I say, grinning. “What? It’s true. If she really wanted a kid, she could always just have one. Not like she’s running out of lifetime or anything.”

Celestia gives me an odd look, one I can’t decipher, and looks like she’s wanting to say something. A quick flare of her horn later, and all the red is gone from her eyes, and all the softness of her posture is gone. “I suppose I’ll have to speak with you another time, Anthony. I must get back to my duties in Canterlot, before another riot starts. One of the hired help could get injured.” And with a flash, she’s gone.

Waitasec... “So, when I suggested she find someone to get her pregnant, and then she asks me to come see her later...” I look at Twilight, both of us horrified at the idea. “Let’s agree to never speak of this ever again as well, okay?”

Twilight nods hastily and immediately goes off to do something to keep her busy.

This has been quite the day... And I have a feeling it’s only half over...

I get up and, recalling Anne’s comment earlier, decide that I should wash my clothes. And maybe get Rarity to make me some more casual options. Oh yeah, I went to see her about my costume... eh, I should wash what I have for now.

When I take off my pants, I notice something poking out of the back. I pull it out and find a crumpled letter. It’s the one Celly’s messenger handed me after I gave her an earful about being ungrateful.

I set it aside and, once I’m done scrubbing all the crud out of my shirt and pants, pick up the letter and break her seal. I understand the whole ‘Cutie Mark as insignia for recognition’ thing, but if I had a tattoo on my rear end, I wouldn’t stick it on everything related to myself... Especially not seal letters with it. Oh well.

I tear open the envelope and take a look at what she wanted to say but didn’t have the guts to say to my face.

        To Anthony

I fear we may have more troubles between us than mere words can express. While I do not find you, as a person, to be too dangerous, violent, or indeed too obnoxious, annoying, or repellent to my sensibilities, I must say that you seem to find far too much enjoyment, or perhaps solace, in destabilizing whatever you come across.

I sincerely wish I had some method of impressing upon you how important it is that you follow the rules I have set out centuries prior. It took far more trial and effort than will show in any history text in the world, but I have a very firm grasp of what does and does not work. With your constant upsets of the progress I have painstakingly worked towards, it has become nigh-unbearable to try cooperating with you, and I fear this will lead to consequences neither of us can divine.

You have done much to aid this land since you arrived, two years and five months ago. At the same time, you have relentlessly sought to impose your worldview upon all others, the exact thing you accuse us of doing to you.

I wish I could approach you as an equal, or perhaps even as a friend. But with your behavior, and the reckless toppling of carefully-stacked plans, I fear that you may one day have to face me for a crime you committed without realizing it, and pay the direst of prices for simple ignorance or impetuousness.

Whatever you choose to do with your future, I wish you well in life, as I do every good thing in this world. If you ever feel the need to speak with me, I hope you would feel comfortable seeking me out to do so, without a confrontation.

        With best wishes,


Huh. Guess she really does want to fix this... But it’s going take more than just a chat with her to have this all sorted out. I don’t like the way she insinuated I’m such a danger though. Does she not get it that I only go to extremes when I’m challenged or it is necessary?

Yes I’ve caused a bit of a ruckus here in Ponyville and in Canterlot, but I doubt something like ‘disturbing the peace’ or being abnormal is going to do any progress-upsetting.

I admit that the issue in Chickago is pretty darn big, but that’s not in Equestria, so it’s outside of her jurisdiction and doesn’t come into account here. Aside from being a general nuisance to the public, I’ve done nothing wrong! Okay, I broke a guy’s leg, but I did my time for that.

I don’t know where she gets the idea that I’m trashing her rulebooks. I’m no model citizen, but I’m not some twisted anarchist that just wants to destroy things without reason. Besides, I’ve saved people with my powers, too! Calling me a danger, when I haven’t once gone out and started wrecking stuff for my self-pleasure... or at all for that matter. She’s just accusing me of being a danger, based solely on the fact that I have super-powers, and have been known to cause mischief. Does she not recall what happened when Luna did that? She’s right, I am a potential danger, but I can’t name one thing that would constitute telling me I’m being some sort of lawless renegade that needs to do as I’m told because someone higher up doesn’t like me.

Maybe I need another chat with her, I guess yelling my opinion at her doesn’t help any... this will have to be done with a bit more care. But knowing Celestia, it might be difficult anyway. Next Chapter: Chapter 134 Estimated time remaining: 14 Hours, 28 Minutes

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