I awake to the sound of something crashing to the wood floor, and a somewhat-quiet ‘oops’. For a few moments, I think that someone’s broken into the library, then I remember that Gladius is downstairs, and probably the one making the ruckus.

I walk down the stairs to see what happened. “Don’t screw up the place too bad, because of course Twilight’s going to blame me, and I only want to be blamed for something I had the fun of breaking in the first place.”

“Y’ got any booze in this place? Like any beer? Even that cheap crap that unicorns make is fine, I just wanna get drunk.” is the reply, Gladius visible as I reach the bottom of the stairs, walking into the kitchen.

“None that I’m aware of. Last I knew, this place is drier than a desert. I do know a bar in town though, and it is actually good stuff.”

“Cool. You’re buying, right? Thanks, let’s go get hosed!” Gladius struts to the door, pushing me along with an outstretched wing. It’s not fair, really, she seems way stronger than a pony ought to be, and I don’t get a strength boost from being a star.

Either way, though, I’m not passing up a good excuse to go drinking, and relent to her pushes.

Making sure I still have my bag of bits in my pocket, I lead her to the Frothy Mug. This pony right here is miles different from any other I’ve met. Oh well, at least I have an excuse to actually see what getting drunk is like. And Twilight won’t be here to give me hell for it. Perfect timing for me!

We step into the bar, and I’m quietly thankful it’s open pretty late. Especially given that it’s almost two in the morning, and I know that Stoic and Berry have kids. Sure enough, I see that the mostly silent barkeep is still behind the bar, but so is Berry. I’m mildly curious about where the kids might’ve gotten to, until I see that the two littluns are passed out together in a little cot by the bar.

Gladius steps up to the bar and declares that I’m paying for the drinks, and that she wants whatever is available. In a double-pint mug.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna... not argue.”

Stoic shrugs, and pulls out a pitcher topped with froth from somewhere under the bar, and pours it into a mug half the size of the pitcher. the mug slides to Gladius’ waiting hooves, and she begins to drink it, not waiting to breath at all. Show-off.

I sigh. “I’m probably not gonna want to remember any of this so... gimme something too. Not feeling too picky at the moment.”

Berry looks over at me. “Whaddaya prefer from your booze?”

“No idea, never been hammered before. All I’ve ever really had aside from your stuff is cheap grocery-store beer.”

“Grocery store beer? Who the hell serves beer at a- oh never mind. Here, lemme slide you a cider. It’s local make, I think you’ll like it.” Berry pours a normally-sized glass of an amber-orange liquid and slides it to me. I grab it and expect it to taste like normal apple cider, with alcohol. However the alcohol isn’t as strong as I’d thought. Yeah, I could probably use this.

I nod happily to Berry, who smiles back. I turn to Gladius, who is still chugging beer, but she’s moved on to simply finishing off an entire two-gallon keg at once. I reiterate my previous thought: Show-off.

After a couple of hours and more than a few drinks, I’m having trouble standing. It’s not that I’m feeling woozy or off-balance, it’s just that everything seems to have too much inertia, and my arms keep moving farther than I mean, my legs are way too long for some reason, and my depth perception seems to have wandered off to have a drink of its own. It’s like stepping off a tilt-a-whirl, but without feeling the annoying dizziness. A warm sense of happiness is pervading my being.

I turn to look and see how Gladius is doing, but actually making my head stop in the right direction is a bit difficult for a moment.

“If thish is drunk... not sho shhhhpecial...”

I stop to think over my words, and write it off. I’m not drunk, I can slur if I feel like it. I peer at Gladius, and see that she’s busy taking drinks and then passing them to nearby mares and stallions. Berry doesn’t seem to happy, but I think that’s more for the shouting than anything.

Oh wait, now she’s just had the entire bar pitch in to buy a full keg of beer, and they’re lifting it for her to chug. The barrel is bigger than she is! She should explode from that much drink!

However, she doesn’t. Instead, she chugs it for some amount of time, and I’m caught up in the euphoric chanting for her to ‘chug!’. I’m passed more ciders, which taste good. I can’t even tell there’s alcohol in them any more!

I start thinking about how Gladius wanted to get laid so bad and a question comes to mind that I just end up speaking aloud, though I don’t feel it’s very important.

“Whaaaat I wanna know... why do you ponies wanna f-fuck me. I mean, I know I’m shexy but... I might as well just fuck a kicken... er sumthin’.”

None of the ponies seem to hear me, and I turn to a mare that’s sidled up next to me, and try to ask the question again, but differently. Afterall, insanity is doing something twice the same way, and expecting different results.

“Sheriously, why’d’y’all want a peesh ah me, anyway? Heck, shome of you are ugly as sin!” The mare looks offended. “And then you think fat is shexy! Like, what the crap guysh? Who wants a wife that c’n roll faster’n walk?”

The mare puts her snout up in the air, walking away with a ‘hmph!’ Prude.

I’m not sure how much longer it is until the bar is shut down, and we wander back to the library. At least, I’m fairly sure it’s the library. Like, 50-50 it’s the library.

I plop down onto a bed that I think is mine, and lay back. This was a good night. I shwear it wash. Wash a doo...

I think I’m asleep.

No wait, now I’m- Next Chapter: Chapter 102 Estimated time remaining: 20 Hours, 52 Minutes