"Thou are to halt right here, Persecution!" shouted Luna, as I looked at her, pointed my pan at her and said;

"Lass, I dinnae kno' who that Perseshushion guy issh, but I'll tell em to come ove' to ya." I slurred, so what? I was a little drunk.

What? I had to act in character.

"Ssho tell meh, will ya buy that Shako or pissh off?" I asked her, showing my precious Stout Shako.

We were in the Everfree Forest, not that far from the Castle of Royal Pony Sisters, and here, trying to subdue me was one of them, I wonder where that white one was, what was her name? Sealestia? Cestia? Oi! Celestia!

"Do not try to fool Us, Ye thief!" she warned me in the Royal Speech, making my glasses fall off.

"Lad, ye just done yer fate for mine glasshes, I wanted to do shish peashfully, but ye wrought it on yeself!" I warned her as I charged and hit her across the face with my powerful pan.

One thing you don't know? It's my pan that gives me powers, and you simply CAN'T take it from me.

Suddenly, the whitey, Celestia, lunged at me from bushes, knocking me off balance, picking Luna up and giving her those damned Elements. They started glowing and told me mine crimes done here. Their nerve!

"Persecution, for Thine crimes, Thee art to be turned to stone until times faraway! On Your long list is arson, theivery, assault on the Royal family and avoiding trial!" they said, both at one, the blade is two sided, or something along those lines, bitches!

"And ye can't even keep yer subjectssh in line!" I accused them, which didn't help very much.

Or at all.

Knowing that my fate is sealed, I made an awesome pose.

I stood up in my full glory, picking up my white, plastic glasses, took out the Shako and made a shit eating grin that just said:

"I'll be back!" which I totally just said to them.

"And We will be ready." they replied, that rainbow gay beam coming straight at me.

When I was almost completely in stone, I shouted;

"Also, bitshess, my name's Demopan!"

And then I was silent for thirteen hundred years.

'Hey, Dissy, bud, look at tha lil wee tour!' I said in that cool stone telepathy, one of the upsides of being in stone.

'I can sense a little chaos, I should be free on this one.' he replied, his statue not far away from mine, he's a pretty cool guy.

'You always say that, and it never happens.' I reminded him.

Here they were, almost next to us, a pretty small school tour. Leading them was a teacher, I'd later learn that her name's Cherilee.

"I want to start our field trip here, in the world-famous Canterlot sculpture garden. That one over there represents "Friendship". All right, my little ponies, this one represents "Victory"." the teacher told her tour

"How cool would it be to have that for a cutie mark?" asked a chicken little foal who couldn't fly. Sorry, couldn't help myself.

What? Don't look at me like that, I'm telling the story, anyways!

"Cool, if you were actually victoryful at somethin'." said a butter-collored filly earth pony with a southern accent, she butchered English HARD.

"That's not a word!" said a white unicorn, with a two-colored mane and a very squeaky voice.

"What are you, a dictionary?" asked the orange filly, who seriously couldn't fly. Okay! I'll stop!

"Girls! Now this is a really interesting statue. What do you notice about it?" scolded Cherilee, then asking them.

"It's got an eagle claw!" said the earth pony, Applebloom.

"And a lion paw!" said Scootaloo, the pegasus. See? I can stop myself?

"And a snake tail!" said the dictionary. Oh piss off and give me a rest, bloody princess!

"This creature is called a draconequus. He has the head of a pony and a body made up of all sorts of things. What do you suppose that represents?" said Cherilee, leading them up to my buddy, Discord.

"Confusion!"

"Evil!"

"Chaos!"

"It's not chaos, you dodo!" said Sweetie Belle, see? Even she makes fun out of the little orange chicken!

"Don't call me things I don't know the meaning of! And it is too chaos!"

"Is not!" shouted Squeaky Belle.

"You're both wrong!" here goes the English-butcher, as they jumped at eachother and started fighting. If this wouldn't have freed, I don't know what would have.

"Actually, in a way, you're all right. This statue represents "Discord" (I see what you did there!), which means a lack of harmony between ponies. In fact, you three have demonstrated discord so well that you're each going to write me an essay explaining it."

And then the whole group started lauging at them.

"Now let's go, and I don't want anymore fighting." said Cherilee

They moved on to me (oh pretty me finally getting attention!) as Discord's prison started to break.

'Don't laugh yet, they're still here.' I warned him, just so he didn't lose his chance.

'Don't worry, I'm not stupid, but you'll have to stay, your prison is too strong, maybe a year or two will weaken it.' he assured me.

'Thanks, mate, enjoy your few hours of freedom and spotlight!' I told him.

'Thanks, Demo.' Next Chapter: (2) TRIPLE PAN! Estimated time remaining: 18 Minutes