Nightmare Moon's Laugh resonated throughout the town hall as the many ponies present cowered in fear. Lightning struck the area around her as her mane billowed into a menacing swirl above her head to accent her evilness.

“Well, guess who the bad guy is.” Anon said, with a roll of his eyes.

“SEIZE HER! Only she knows where the Princess is!” The mayor screamed, pointing a hoof at the dark horse on the balcony.

A group of three royal pegasi guards flew in towards Nightmare Moon with the intention of stopping her evil plan.

“Why didn't they do that while she was monologuing?” Anon questioned, continuing to go unnoticed. Nightmare moon who promptly returned to all fours. Stared at the Three guards in anger.

“Stand back you foals!” She shouted as her eyes shone with a light blue energy and lightning struck around her, throwing the guards to the floor. Ponies screamed and panicked as many ponies ran around in a chaotic manner.

Nightmare Moon quickly took advantage of the situation and allowed herself to evaporate into dark blue mist, worming her way out of the building, laughing manically as she did so.

Anon, standing in the same place he was before, just cocked eyebrow and groaned. “I really hate this place.”

“COME BACK HERE!” Rainbow Dash shouted flying out to pursue the maniacal villain out into the night air, but promptly gave up as she watched her drift off into the distance. “Night time? Forever?” She said with fear.

Back at the town hall Twilight rushed up to Anon in a panic. “Anon! We need to go! Now!” Twilight shouted nudging his leg. He sighed heavily and stared off into the distance at the panic and mayhem. He could just as easily sit back and relax back at the library in Canterlot. Maybe read a book, maybe have a drink of some sort...But he knew he wouldn't...all of that crap at the library was boring and he read it all about four times...

“Anon!” Twilight shouted in his face, ripping him from his thought process.

“*sigh*...ah fuck it. Let's go!” He said, as the two of them took off towards the library. Gaining the attention of the Airborne pegasus.

“Where's she going?” Rainbow said to herself, deciding to silently follow in pursuit.

“This is so messed up. How the hell is she even alive?! She was on the moon! For a thousand years! That only means one of three things: there's an atmosphere on the moon...and we know that's bullshit. She's some form of immortal god...and I really freaking hope not, or...it's magic you don't got to explain shit...and I have a feeling that that's the correct answer.” Anon said tearing books off of the shelves in search of something useful. When he came across an idea

“Twilight? Do you have biological warfare here in Equestria? Because that might come in handy for a situation like this. All you need is a small canister of mustard gas and a sealed room.” He suggested, earning a confused look from Twilight. “...uh...never mind.” He said dismissively, returning to the shelves of the Equestrian warfare section.

“Anon, You're looking in the wrong place! We need to find information on the elements of harmony or–”

“And just what are the elements of harmony...?!” Rainbow dash appeared seemingly out of nowhere. “...And how did you know about Nightmare Moon huh!? Are you a Spy!?” She accused eying Twilight, who was backing into the corner as Rainbow advanced.

“Are you retarded?” Anon asked, throwing another book into the pile of useless knowledge. “She did say stop Nightmare Moon.”

“Yeah. Simmer down sally, she ain’t no spy.” Applejack said, the rest of the ponies joined her. “But she sure knows what's going on. Don't ya Twilight.”

“How the hell did you lot get in here!? I thought I locked the door?” Anon asked.

Pinkie Jumped up and down excitedly. “We picked the lock...duh!” she said that like nothing was wrong. Anon just turned to Twilight with a fearful expression.

“Twilight, remind me to design and invent the shotgun...ya know...just to be safe.” Rarity moved over and leans against Anon affectionately.

“Oh dear Anon. Do not fret I shall protect you.” She said tenderly. Anon, just looks Rarity Dead in the eye.

“Rarity...I will break your legs, I swear to god, if you don't stop freaking me the hell out, right now.” Rarity only giggles and boops him on the nose, retreating back to the group.

“Twilight what were you saying?” Applejack asked again. The five ponies turned to the unicorn in question as she stole her resolve.

“I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them; I don't even know what they do!” Her ears flopped to the back of her head as she looks to the floor defeated.

“The elements of harmony: A reference guide.” Pinkie chimed in, looking at the spine of one of the books.

“Convenient.” Anon said, taking a seat on his makeshift book stool. Twilight bumped into pinkie throwing her into the adjacent wall.

“How did you find that?!” Twilight asked in disbelief.

“It was under 'E'!” Pinkie said in a singsong voice.

Anon snorted heavily. “Are you sure you're a librarian?” His comment went unnoticed again. “Oh for fuck sake.” Twilight pulled out the book and began to flip through the pages, landing on the correct page instantly and begins to read aloud.

“There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty...” The sound of Anon suppressing his laughter at the names of each element can be heard in the background. “...The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said, the last known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. It is located in what is now...”

“...The Everfree forest!” Everyone shouted in unison as Anon let out a sigh of relief.

“Why did you all just not say anything for the past five minutes? Seriously. You all just up and left, without saying anything, it was freaky as shit.”

“What are you talking about Anon?” Fluttershy asked.

“You didn't notice? Twilight just read part of the book and you all just suddenly left. Like no words, just up and left? How did you not notice?!” Their blank stares were his only response.

“Ugh...never mind.”

“Whee! Let's go!” Pinkie says, trotting towards the entrance to the forest.

“Not so fast.” Twilight said, Pinkie stopping in her tracks as the others look to the librarian. “Look, I appreciate the offer, but I'd really rather do this on my own.”

"No can do, sugarcube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone. We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple.” Applejack said, everyone else giving an agreed 'Hmph'

“You guy know you just met her today right? This whole instant friendship is kind of creepy.” Anon commented, following them into the forest. Twilight let out a sigh and trotted along with him.

“Hey, Twilight...at least you passed your stupid objective.”

“So... none of you have been in here before?” Twilight asked, fear evident in her tone. The seven of them were trekking through the Everfree forest, each of them quaking in their metaphorical boots.

“Oh heavens no. just look at it. It's dreadful.” Rarity exclaimed, looking around the forest at the trees looming over them.

“And it ain't natural. Folk say it don't work the same as Equestria.” Applejack chimed in. Everyone present starting to shiver with fear.

Nobody sees the starry mist seeping into the cliff face below them.

“Oh grow up. It's just plants the most natural thing I can think of. You're all just paranoid because it looks creepy.” Anon said irritably, rolling his eyes and walking faster, if not to get just that little bit further away from the group.

“What do you mean Applejack?” Twilight asked, turning to the orange mare.

“Uh guys?” Anon called to the rest of the group.

“Nopony knows.~” Rainbow wailed coming out of a shadow for dramatic effect. “You know why?” she asked as she started to lurk her way over to Fluttershy Pinkie and Rarity, imitating a predator stalking its prey, speaking in a low hush whispered tone.

“I really don't think we should be up on this cliff.” Anon said, a little more concerned.

Applejack's expression grew irritated as she stomped her hoof on the ground. “Rainbow, Quit it.”

“It's a dead end anyway so...”

“'Cause every pony who's ever come in, has never. Come. Out!” The girls screamed in fear and as soon as they did, the entire ground beneath them gave way and the entire group started to slide down the cliff screaming. The two pegasi took to the air immediately.

“Fluttershy! Quick!” Rainbow shouted flying to her friends aid.

“Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.” Fluttershy muttered before flying after her. Rainbow was quick to save Pinkie by lifting her off of the ledge as Fluttershy lifted Rarity by her tail into safety. Applejack manages to grab onto a nearby tree root, but Twilight kept going until she is hanging off of the ledge by her front hooves, unable to pull herself up. Anon was able to dig his feet into the soil enough to stop his decent, and was currently edging his way down to her.

Seeing Twilight's situation, Applejack let go of the root and slowly slid over to Twilight in a controlled fashion. “Hold on! ah'm a-comin'!” She said as she planted her hooves on Twilight's to hold her in place.

“Applejack! What do I do!?” Twilight asked panicked. Applejack, straining to hold onto her peeked upwards and then looked back down to Twilight.

“Let go.” She said simply. Twilight looked up with a horrified look.

"What?!” Anon shouted from behind them.

“Are you crazy?!” She said through strained breaths.

“You said they were earlier so she probably is!”

“No ah aint. Ah promise you'll be safe.” Applejack tried to calmly reassure her.

"How!?”

“That's not true!”

"Well duh! She tried to kill me yesterday, maybe she's a serial killer or something.”

“Now listen here. What ah'm sayin' to you is the honest truth. Let go, and you'll be safe.”

“You're not honestly considering it are you?!”

Twilight grew a look of resignation, closed her eyes and let go, falling down the side of the cliff.

“oh for fuck sake!”

Twilight screamed as she fell...until she was caught by the two pegasi. She let out a sigh of relief as the three of them gently, though a little jerkily, carried her to the ground to safety. Applejack climbed down on conveniently placed rocks while Anon followed in a similar fashion behind them as they regrouped at the bottom of the cliff.

What none of them saw, was a misty tendril watching them before it speeded off towards a distant beast.

“And once Pinkie and Rarity were saved, whoosh... Me and Fluttershy loop-de-loop around and WHAM! Caught you right in the nick of time.” Rainbow exclaimed as she fley around in loops and then landed right next to Twilight.

“Yes, Rainbow, I was there, and I'm very grateful, but we gotta...” Meanwhile, anon approached Applejack with a question he needed to ask.

“You know Applejack. You could have just said that rainbow Dash and Fluttershy would catch her and not bother with all of the cryptic bullshit.” Anon said matter of factly. Applejack looked to him with a cocked eyebrow.

“And what do you mean by that Sugarcube?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at him accusingly.

“I'm just saying that you could have just said they're there to catch her and then saved yourself some time and everyone else the mystery and stupid bullshit.” She huffed again and walked off ahead of him. “You know I'm right!” He called smugly with a small sense of self satisfaction.

“Okay girls...” Twilight called. “...we're gonna-”

*gggrrrooowwwlll!!!*

“*gasp* a Manticore!” Twilight exclaimed, the rest of the group backing up a little in fear.

“A what now?” Anon asked, arching an eyebrow at the behemoth in front of him. The Manticore didn't hesitate as it took the moment to hurl it's paws in his direction, claws extended.

“Aw, fuck me!– OOF!” Rainbow Dash was fast on her hooves as she collided into his side, dragging him to the floor with her and narrowly avoiding the creature's attack. The rest of the girls sprung into action,charging forward into the brink of death.

“Take that you ruffian! Nopony hurts my Anon!” Rarity shouted as she proped herself onto her forelegs and kicked back into its face, stunning it for a moment, before roaring loudly in her face, spraying spittle everywhere. Once it stopped, it was evident that the creature's breath has ruined her mane, reducing it to a complete mess of tangles and knots.

“My hair!” Rarity exclaimed, mourning the loss of her hairstyle moments before realizing the remaining presence of the Manticore and retreating with an 'eep!' The Manticore following in pursuit.

"Wait." Came the quiet voice of Fluttershy, going unnoticed by everyone present.

The Manticore suddenly stopped in it's tracks, surprised by its sudden passenger. Applejack stood proudly atop of the hulking creature as it attempts to buck her off.

“YEE-HAW! Git along, little dogie!” She exclaims, holding on for dear life.

"Wait."

Anon, who up until this point watched the scene in mild curiosity and amusement, stood up and dusted himself off.

“Welp...I have no fucking clue what to do.” He said, slumping against a tree and trying to relax.

Applejack is promptly thrown from the Manticore and into the air, taking a moment while airborne to prompt Rainbow Dash into action.

“All yours, partner.” She landed with a small thud next to Anon. Rainbow Flying in to subdue the predator.

“Hey AppleHick.” Anon said casually as Applejack picked herself off of the floor.

“It's Applejack...and why aint ya'll helpin'?!” Anon merely shrugged and nodded towards the mayhem of the Rainado swirling around the Manticore as it swung its mighty tail, flinging Rainbow Dash back towards the group with great force.

"Rainbow!"

“You guys seem to have it under control.” Applejack gave him one of those 'I'm this close to making you a woman' looks and then alternated between looking at Anon and the scene before them. Her expression turned even more sour.

“How is this, under control!?” She shouted.

Anon gave her a bored expression in return and merely replied. “I think the yellow one has something to say.” Confused, she returned her gaze back to the group.

“WOULD YOU BUCKING WAIT!!!”Fluttershy screamed, everyone grinding to a halt mid charge. Applejack looked on in shock.

Fluttershy turned towards the creature with a kind smile, slowly approaching the Manticore, who's growling and snarling at her presence.

“Shh...it's okay.” Fluttershy gently nuzzlea an exposed paw, while gently saying sweet reassurances.

“Oh, so she's suicidal...okay.” Anon said, getting ignored again. The beast continued to reveal the inside paw to the yellow pegasus, a large thorn embedded into the palm.

“Oh, you poor, poor little baby.” She calmly whispered as she reached towards the thorn. “Now this might hurt for just a second.” She quickly plucked the thorn from its paw and it promptly clutched her in its grasp and roared loudly in her face.

“Fluttershy!” Everyone screams in worry, including Anon who was rather shocked by this development. However, everyone was even more shocked to see the Manticore gently grooming her mane, purring like a household cat, Fluttershy giggling cutely.

“Aw you're just a little ol' baby kitty, aren't you? Yes you are, yes you are.” Now that the way was safe, everyone present continued to trot past the now non-threat. Anon however walked past slowly, eying the creature cautiously.

“Okay, when we get back, someone is writing me a book about Equestria because I literally have no fucking idea what the rules are anymore!” Fluttershy giggled, hip checking him lightly.

“Oh Anon, it's not so complicated. Just Sometimes we all need to be shown a little kindness.”Anon looked to her confused, then promptly rolled his eyes and walked on.

“Fluttershy, That is literally the most retarded thing I have ever heard.”

As they all walked away, everyone neglected to see as the thorn evaporated back into mist and shot further into the forest.

The group walked through the dark and isolated forest, the darkness taking their tolls on all of them.

“Are we there yet?” Well almost all of them.

“No pinkie we're not there yet.” Rainbow said flatly.

“how 'bout now?”

“Pinkie, shut the fuck up.” Anon spat irritably.

“Okie dokie.” And... the group reduced to an awkward silence.

Trying to break the silence, Rarity did what she does best...complained. “ooohhh...My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck...” as she said this . The tree canopy thickened, leaving the area around them in complete darkness.

“You had to open your mouth, didn't you?”

“...Well, I didn't mean that literally.”

“That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn't even know it.” Twilight said with worry. The same starry mist responsible for all of the problems so far drifted along, under their hooves and feet and into the nearby trees, completely undetected.

“Look guys, if we die out here, I want you all to know that...I hate you all...so much.” Anon said, his comment eliciting a laugh out of the pink mare.

“What's so funny?” Anon asked, confused. Pinkie merely laughed harder and pointed towards the tree behind him.

When he looked over, he saw a horrid, menacing face staring back at him. “Holy fuck nuts!” Anon shouted jumping back in fright, the others experiencing similar reactions, screaming and whimpering from the horrid trees...except Pinkie, who continued to laugh and pull funny faces at the...uh...faces.

“Pinkie, what are you doing?! Run!” Twilight shouted. The pink mare continuing to pull faces at the trees.

“Twilight, I think she's lost it...if she hadn't already.” Pinkie giggled again and turns to look at the others.

“Oh girls...and Anon, don't you see?” She said as she started to bounce on her hooves with the tune that was starting to play through the trees

♫ “When I was a little filly and the sun was going dooowwwn...” ♫

“Tell me she's not.” Twilight said, irritably.

“Oh sweet baby Jesus, where the fuck is that music coming from?!”

Pinkie danced around, hanging from trees to sing to her friends from all different angles.

♫ “The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frooowwwn...”♫

“She is.” Rarity declared in disappointment.

“Seriously, Where is the music coming from!?” Pinkie continued to bounce around in glee as she sang.

♫ “I'd hide under my pillow
From what I thought I saw
But Granny Pie said that wasn't the way
To deal with fears at all”♫

“Is no one else freaked out by this!?” Anon shouted, continuing to be ignored as he frantically searched for the source of the music.

“Then what is?” Rainbow asked as Pinkie wrapped her foreleg around her neck.

♫“She said, 'Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall
Learn to face your fears
You'll see that they can't hurt you
Just laugh to make them disappear.'
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!”♫

As she finished, the face on one of the trees disappeared, leaving a bare tree in its wake. The group gasped in astonishment.

“What the serious fuck is going on here?”

♫ “So, giggle at the ghostly
guffaw at the grossly
Crack up at the creepy
Whoop it up with the weepy
Chortle at the kooky
Snortle at the spooky
And tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... hahahaha... heh...

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuugh!”♫

Anon stood in complete bewilderment as the ponies laughed the tree faces away and proceeded to roll on the floor laughing.

“Seriously...what just happened?!” Pinkie stopped Laughing and looked up at him with a smile.

“The power of laughter Anon.” Anon looked down at them as his hand met his face.

“Oh dear god, kill me now!” He screamed into the air, the group rolling to their feet, looking to him with concern.

“Anon?” Twilight looked him over, worried.

“Seriously? None of you are even fazed by that!?” Their blank stares was answer enough for him. “...urg!...screw it. Lets just get this over with.” He said, turning around and walking away.

The ponies all rushed out of the woods, laughing merrily as a confused and disgruntled human trudged along behind them. They all stopped however when they reached a raging river, each of the ponies staring at it in worry.

“How are we gonna get across this?!” Pinkie asked.

“We could get the flyers to carry us across, one at a time...and I could probably swim across or even–“ Anon was cut off as a distant cry was suddenly heard and the group moves to investigate. They take a look through the bushes and shrubs to find a sad and upset sea serpent...in a river, thrashing around painfully.

“What a world, what a world!” He exclaimed as he threw his arms into the water in frustration. Twilight decided to brave it and ventured out into the open.

“Excuse me, sir. Why are you crying?” She asked and the sea serpent looks over and without any hesitation he begins to explain.

“Well, I don't know. I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this tacky little cloud of purple smoke just...whisked past me and tore half of my beloved mustache clean off, and now I look simply horrid.!” He exclaimed, throwing himself back in a dramatic tone, splashing water on everyone present.

“Oh for fuck sake!” Anon shouted, grabbing everyone's attention.

“Wha...?!” The serpent exclaimed. The human was giving off an 'are you fucking kidding me?' vibe.

“It's a freaking mustache! It'll grow back!” He shouted in irritation.

“Anon! How could you be so insensitive!?” Rarity exclaimed. Anon turned around and glared at the white unicorn.

“Hold on a moment. I'm talking to the overly dramatic dip-shit.”

“Well I never!” The pony and serpent both exclaimed in sync.

“I'm just saying it's not something to bitch over like this.” Anon said simply as the serpent looked even more hurt than before.

“B-But...it's all uneven now...It's lopsided!” Anon furrowed his brow and folded his arms.

“Then shave the whole thing off!” The serpent's eyes widened at the suggestion.

“But...I-I can't I'd look hideous!” it's not like anyone would see you out here. Anon thought as he negotiated the idea of voicing his thoughts.

“Couldn't you just man the hell up!?...please. We need to get to some ancient temple bullshit and get some weird super weapons so we can go kill moon bitch...can't you just hold your hissy fit for a few moments?” The serpent's eyes widened again as he stared at Anon in hurt.

“I-I-I do not have hissy fits!” and with that he burst into another wave of hysterics, thrashing around in emotional agony.

“Well, Anon. You gave it your best, but it wasn't good enough. Now let's see how a lady handles it.” Rarity said smugly as she walked up to the sulking serpent, who was resting his head on the river bank. “Oh, just look at him. Such lovely luminescent scales.” She said, gently stroking his chin with a hoof.

“I know.” The Serpent whimpered pitifully. Rarity then proceeded to look over his form.

“And your expertly coiffed mane.”

“Oh, I know, I know.” The serpent was eating this whole thing up, brushing his hair back in pride

“Speaking of hair, wasn't yours wet a moment ago?” Anon continued to go on ignored as the two exchanged praise...or Rarity gave and the serpent received.

“Your fabulous manicure.”

“*gasp* it's so true!”

“Your shimmering eyes!”

“You noticed!”

“Your perfectly straight teeth.”

“I know! I had braces!”

“All ruined without your beautiful mustache!” The serpent realed back in horror.

“It's true, I'm hideous!” He shouted, hiding his face in his arms.

“...and moronic.” Anon mumbled under his breath, earning a swat to the back of the head from Twilight.

“I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected.”

“Is that even a word?” Rarity ignored the human as she trotted up to the serpent and plucked a single scale from the serpent's hand, earning a small yelp from him. She then proceeded to raise the single scale above her head dramatically.

“Uh...Rarity?” She lowered the scale quickly cut her own tail clean off. The serpent fell over from sheer shock. Rarity then spat out the scale and levitates her former tail over and attaches it to the serpent's face mending his mustache, which was now a completely different style and color on one side, but that didn't matter.

“Oh-hohohoho! My mustache. How wonderful!” He shouted in glee at his fixed appearance, dancing in place.

“Rarity, your beautiful tail...” Twilight said mournfully. Rarity looed back over herself and back to Twilight.

“Oh. It's fine, my dear. Short tails are in this season. Besides, it'll grow back.” She said, trying to reassure herself.

“...yes, if only mustaches did the exact same thing...then everything would be fine!” Anon remarked, trying his hardest not to face-palm. Twilight looked over to the, now calm, river in relief.

“Look! We can cross now!” She jumped over to the river, as the serpent rised out of the water, forming a bridge across the river.

“Allow me.” He said chivalrously as he sunk his head into the water. Everyone present walking across his back.

As Anon stepped off of the serpents back, he looked back to him with a sheepish grin...

“Eh...thanks.” He said hesitantly. The serpent smiled before submerging and swimming away.

“What was that about?” Applejack asked, confused.

“What he helped us out.” Anon said, shrugging. “Besides I doubt we're going to–Jesus Christ!” He shouted, covering his eyes with his arm. Everyone else looked on with concern as a blush spread across his face.

“What's the matter darling?” Rarity asked, eying the nearby forest for threats.

“...uh...lets just say...your new tail...leaves nothing to the imagination.” And with that, he quick paced ahead and everyone grew a deep blush across their faces. Silence resonated across the group.

“..uh...maybe we should get going.” Rarity said, turning and walking in the direction they were heading.

“Rarity...maybe you...should stay at the back.” Rainbow suggested awkwardly.

“Perhaps you are right.” Rarity said, as she walks to the back of the group with a raging blush across her face.

“There it is, the ruin that holds the elements of harmony. We made it!” Twilight exclaimed as she ran towards the ruin in the distance.

“Twilight, wait for us!” Applejack and the rest of the group followed in her path.

“Uh...you guys might want to watch your step.” Anon said nervously as Twilight ran ahead.

“We're almost there. Whoa!” Twilight was cut off when she found herself hanging head first off of a cliff face, the bridge that was meant to be there was cut off at one end, leaving the ponies stranded. She pawed at the ledge, trying to push herself back up. Fortunately, Rainbow Dash managed to pull her back by the tail, dragging her to safety.

“Whats with you and falling off cliffs today?” Rainbow asked jokingly. Twilight clambered to her hooves and looks over the edge at the foggy canyon below, the others soon joining.

“Now what?” Pinkie asked in despair, looking over the canyon below.

“Couldn't we take the stairs?” Anon asked, pointing to a large staircase cut into the rock, everyone else, following his gaze.

Rainbow flapped her wings a few times for emphasis. “...or I could just fix the bridge, we don't know where that leads.” She said, shrugging and taking off down the canyon to retrieve the other half of the bridge.

Anon rolled his eyes in irritation. “...or we could do that...uh...hey guys...” The girls look over to him. “...call me when she gets back. I'm going to go explore some stuff.” Twilight just shoed him away, watching Rainbow Dash intently and allowing Anon to go explore.

Rainbow Dash flew back up with the other side of the bridge in her mussel and proceeds to attach it the the stone pillars on the opposite ledge, the fog from below rising above the canyon and obscuring her vision. She got the first post tied down when suddenly...

“Raaiiinnbbooww....” A voice called out through the thick fog.

She dropped what she's doing and whipped around to see...nothing. “Who's there?!...Anon, you better not be trying to scare me!” The voice just chuckled sinisterly.

“No, Rainbow. We are not the creature that has been following you. We are merely...an opportunity.”

“Holy hell! It smells like plot holes down here!”

Rainbow cocked and eyebrow at the voice. “What kind of opportunity?” The voice merely laughed again, leaving Rainbow Dash with an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

“We have long been awaiting the arrival of the greatest, fastest flyer in all of Equestria...The great Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow's eyes widened with excitement as all feelings of fear and uneasiness washed away from her system at the prospect of praise. “Really?! I mean... Oh yeah, me. Hey, uh, you wouldn't mind telling the Wonderbolts that, would ya? 'cause I've been trying to get into that group for like,ever.”

“Seriously, what the fuck is with the smell?!”

”Gosh darn it Anon, stop swearing. This is supposed to be a show for children!” Pinkie shouted down the canyon.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

Shaking off her confusion, Rainbow Dash returned to the unknown voice. “...so...um...?”

“What?...Oh right!...ahem...No, Rainbow Dash. We want you to join us, The Shadowbolts....” Three ponies sporting tight spandex, dark purple suits emerged from the fog, puffing their chests out in pride. “...We're the greatest aerial team in the Everfree Forest, and soon we will be the greatest in all Equestria, but first, we need a captain. The most magnificent-”

“Yep.” It was needless to say that Rainbow Dash was eating all of the attention right up.

“Swiftest-”

“Yes.”

“Bravest flyer in all the land.”

“Yes...it's all true.” Rainbow Dash could no longer contain the giddy excitement, brewing inside of her. She had to do all she could to suppress the giggles and chuckles threatening to break free.

“We need...” The Shadowbolt leader moved in to whisper in her ear. “...you.” Rainbow Dash shot into the air in triumph.

“WOOHOO! Sign me up. Just let me tie this bridge real quick and then we have a deal.” Rainbow made a move to tie up the bridge, but the Shadowbolts quickly got in her way.

“No! It's them or us.” The leader said aggressively.

“That's not possessive in any way.”Anon said sarcastically, walking up behind them. The four of them looking on in shock. “Oh...hi! How's it going?”

“Anon, how did you get here!?” Rainbow asked, looking at him in confusion.

“Another set of stairs, there is some weird ass shit down there.” He said dismissively, pointing down the canyon.

“So does this mean they can get across?” She asked hopefully. Anon nodded once moving over to secure the bridge.

“Wait! If you secure the bride, her offer is revoked.” The Shadowbolt leader shouted desperately. Rainbow Dash, looks to Anon and then to the mare.

“What should I do Anon?”

“Are you kidding? Anyone with a brain can see where this is going. Now hurry up and choose your friends so we can go get the elements and kill moon bitch.” Anon said, handing her the rope.

Rainbow turns to the three Shadowbolts.

“Thanks for the offer, but...” She attached the rope to the pillar. “...I'm afraid I'll have to decline.” The three Shadowbolts trembled with frustration before they burst into three separate globs of blue star mist, merged into one and then flew way. Nothing was left for Anon and Rainbow but to stare on in confusion as the others crossed the bridge.

“So what do I say now?” Anon asked. “Something along the lines of 'you dodged a bullet?' or 'wow you're so loyal?'...meh whatever, let's get the fuck out of here and go kill this fucking pony Hitler before she fucks everything up.”

“Say 'fuck' more.” Twilight said irritably, rolling her eyes in irritation, before turning to Rainbow Dash. “Good job Rainbow.”

“Hey I told you I'd ever leave my friends hanging.”

“Actually you said you'd never leave Ponyville hanging now hurry up. We're finally almost finished with this diabetes trip.” Anon called, walking up to the lone ruin, finally so close to the end.

“For fuck sake Rarity! Walk behind everyone else or wear a freaking towel around your ass.” Anon shouted, rushing ahead of the white unicorn.

“Well sorry darling, but it's not my fault that you find your eyes drawn to my behind so often.” She said with an eye waggle. Anon huffed in irritation, unable to find a retort. Rarity was still unable to hide her blush however as they walked through the archway, into the main chamber of the castle of the two sisters and saw, what was hopefully, the elements of harmony in all their glory.

“Woah...come on Twilight. Isn't this what you've been waitin' for?” Applejack asked, ushering Twilight closer to the structure in the center of the room.

“God, I hope so.” Anon said off to the side, leaning back against a stone pillar.

Rainbow dash nudged Twilight once and whispered in her ear. “What's his problem?” to which Twilight merely giggled.

“He's just like that. You'll get used to him eventually. Anyway, these are the elements of harmony. We've found them.” Upon hearing the confirmation, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew up to retrieve the stone balls from their resting places and brought them back down to the floor,next to Twilight.

“Careful. Careful.” Twilight eased as Pinkie Pie began to count out each element.

“One, two, three, four... There's only five!” She said, looking to Twilight with worry.

“Where's the sixth!?” Rainbow exclaimed.

Twilight brushed of the panicked tone of the cyan pegasus. “The book said: when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed.”

“What in the hay is that supposed to mean?” The Apple farmer asked in complete confusion.

“It means exactly what it said. That even more cryptic bullshit has to be solved before we can get any further in this weird quest thing we're doing!” Anon exclaimed, walking up to Twilight irritably. “Look Twilight I'm just saying, a sugar cube in one hand...” He held out on hand flat for emphasis. “...and a cleaver in the other, and I'll have that moon horse turned into a Tesco burger faster than you can say 'the british are coming!'”

“...Uh...did Anypony understand anything that he just said?” Twilight asked, turning to the others in confusion.

“Ah understood Sugar Cube...” Applejack says dimwittedly. Anon threw his arms up in the air in frustration.

“Ah...screw it! Equestria needs a freaking plague or something. Deal with all these tree hugging pussies.” Twilight shook off her confusion and looked back to the elements.

“I believe I have an idea. Stand back. I don't know what will happen.” She instructed, sitting on her stomach and staring at the elements in concentration.

“Come on now, y'all. She needs to concentrate.” Applejack said, walking out of the room, the others close behind...except one.

“Wait...you're just going to leave her? With crazy, psycho, moon horse around!? Where the fuck does that logic come from!?” Anon shouted from his sitting position. He however went on ignored again. “Seriously!? It's a valid point!” No answer. “Well fuck you guys! I hope you all break your ankles and have to be put down by some southern hick with a shotgun!”

“Aren't you coming Nonnie?” Pinkie asked, stopping in the archway mid-bounce.

“Oh. No. Fuck. No. never call me that again. You got that?”

“Okie dokie lokie.” And with that she left , completely forgetting her question.

“Aren't you going to leave Anon? I don't know what this spell will do.” Twilight asked with concern.

“Twilight, I've survived you for twelve years, I think I can survive one spell... Besides, I know how to shut it when you need to work.” He said with a sheepish smile.

“Are you sure?” He shrugged at her question and folds his arms, getting the message across. Twilight rolled her eyes and returned to her task.

Her horn ignited with a purple glow, her face scrunched up in concentration as she attempted to move the Elemental balls. “Twilight!” Anon shouted out, braking her concentration. She turned around to see the blue mist fly in and surround the Elements in a tornado of magical power and energy.

“GAH!” The tornado increased in height, transporting the elements higher and higher above her. “The elements!” She didn't think. She jumped straight into the swirling mass of energy, leaving Anon to watch, stunned. The others ran in, obviously having heard Twilight's shouts.

Anon watched the swirling mass as it starts to waver and shrink, contemplating his next move. Should he dive head first into danger, or should he be sensible and form a plan of-

“Ah, screw it.” He jumped straight into the swirling mass of purple star stuff just in time, before it dissipated completely, leaving the rest of the mares behind.

*THWAMP!”

“Ahhh...my head.”

“Anon!?” He looked up to see Twilight, standing over him in relief. However, both of their attention was quickly drawn to the laughing mare behind them both. The mare with a coat as dark as coal and armor as menacing as the...you know what, we all know what she looks like. Let's just get on with it.

Nightmare Moon chuckles in delight as the pony and human get to their feet. “So...you finally made it...I have to admit, I had my doubts. I always thought that you'd- OWW!” A rock hit her square in the nose, causing her to reel back in shock. Twilight looked to her human companion as he recovers from his post throw stance.

He noticed her shocked glance and gave her a blank look. “What? Hit em while they're monologuing...why does nobody ever think to do that?” She shook away her confusion and returned her attention to Nightmare Moon.

“Give it up Nightmare! Release Princess Celestia, return Equestria to day and...uh...give up!”

“Nice speech there purple smart.” Anon commented with a hint of snark.

Nightmare Moon however, had recovered from her blow and was staring daggers at Anon...who promptly rolled his eyes and threw another rock at her. This time she catched it with her magic and threw it off to the side.

“INSOLENT APE! Do you have no regard for those in your presence!? Why do you insist that you throw rocks at us!?”

“You've kidnapped the Princess, are currently attempting to plunge Equestria into an eternal darkness and have tried to kill me and the weird LSD ponies multiple times today...is that seriously a legitimate question?” Nightmare Moon growled, narrowing her eyes in pure, unadulterated rage.

“...welp. I think it's obvious what my role here is.” Anon said, straightening out his suit. Nightmare moon looks at him cock eyed before expelling a heated huff of hot air through her nose. “Twilight, get those weird element thingies working before she kills me, if it's not too much trouble.” the dark horse dragged her hoof across the stone floor in an intimidating manner. And to everyone's surprise, the sound of music started to reverberate around the castle, causing the three of them to stop in confusion. “...seriously, How the fuck does that work?!”

“ENOUGH!!!” Nightmare moon shouts in anger. “I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOUR INSCOLENCE! YOU WILL PAY FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE...” And the lyrics started to play out, making the, now pissed off, alicorn's eye twitch.

“...I swear I'm not doing that.” Anon said with a panicked expression. Nightmare Moon charged forward with a feral scream, horn pointed toward the human. “OH fuck-nuts!” He jumped out of the way, narrowly being impaled by the sharp point of her horn.

“Hurry up Twilight!” Twilight shot out of her stupor as Nightmare Moon pursued Anon out of the room and down the stairs in a fit of rage, entirely forgetting the elements left with the purple mare.

“...Celestia help us.”

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” Anon shouted as he ran down the stairs, Nightmare Moon following close behind.

“REMAIN STATIONARY YOU INSUBORDINATE APE!!” She shouted as she let loose another blast of her magic, which narrowly missed the human.

“I leave Canterlot for one day! One freaking day!...AHH!” He met the bottom of the staircase and rushed down the unknown corridor.

“HUMAN! HEEL! NOW!”

“I'm not a dog you dumb-fuck!” He lunged behind a stone pillar to avoid yet another bolt of magic, taking a moment to admire the tapestry before remembering that he was uncomfortably close to getting his head ripped off.

“Do you think you have a chance?...any at all? I will tell you now that–OW!”

“Stop. Fucking monologuing!” He shouted as he threw another rock in her direction. However, this time he is hit with a strong bolt of magic, hurling him across the room.

“...ooowwww...” He groaned, clutching his head in pain. He looked up to see the mistress of hell standing over him with a mischievous smile on her face.

“Tell me ape...how long has it been since I was banished...” She whispered, pinning the arm that was currently making its way towards a stray rock.

“Uh...one hundred years?” He asked, clearly knowing the answer, but his natural instinct to fuck with all who are stupid got the better of him.

“ONE THOUSAND YEARS!!!” She all but screamed, blowing warm air in his face. He was getting rather uncomfortable, rather quickly.

“Oh...uh...and...?” To his displeasure, Nightmare Moon's mischievous smile returned and she leaned in closer, stroking the side of his head with her free hoof and leaning her body into his with half lidded eyes.

“Go back to monologuing! Go back to monologuing!”

“Why not both?”

“Oh fuck me!”

“Rather poor choice of words...don't you think?”

Meanwhile the rest of the girls made it into the throne room unharmed.

“Twilight!” Pinkie shouted, capturing the purple unicorn in a bone crushing hug.

“Have you gotten the elements to work?” Fluttershy asked, eying the stone spheres on the floor.

“Not yet, but I've got an idea.”

“Where's Anon!?” Rarity asked, panic rising in her voice. Twilight averted her gaze, looking back to the elements in determination.

“He left to distract Nightmare Moon. I don't know how long we have, but we have to hurry.”

“Anon left to fight that...thing?!” The fashionista exclaimed. Her eyes going wide with fear.

“Yes, and the only way to help him would be to figure out how to acquire the sixth element.”

“So what do ya need from us?” Applejack stepped forward, pride in her tone.

“I'm not sure, but–”

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Anon shouted as he ran through the doorway looking fairly flushed.

“Anon? Where's nightmare moon?” Twilight asked, completely confused.

“I got away from her...but I don't think she'll stay down though...I think she's gonna try to screw me.” He motioned towards the Pink pony. “...you can break every law of physics and reality, right?...how about you get me a gun? Huh?” Pinkie merely furrowed her brow in confusion before smiling the same way you would smile when a preacher was shouting at you to repent. “...god dammit.”

“Anon...I can't get the elements to work...what should we do?” Twilight spoke up.

Anon furrowed his brows in irritation, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. “Why are you asking me?” Before she could answer however, a loud bang resonated throughout the room. Nightmare moon had materialized on the pedestal.

“Ah. So we're all here. Reunited once again.” She chuckled out. “How...poetic. But now, it must come to a close. Twilight Sparkle... give up now or you all shall be cast down before me.” Twilight looked down in thought before returning her gaze back to Nightmare Moon.

“No.” Twilight said with a determined expression. Nightmare Moon was taken back by her refusal.

“What?”

Twilight stomped her hoof hard down on the floor. “I said no. I will not bow down to you, for as long as my heart still beats, I will always fight you, Nightmare Moon.”

“Jesus, how many cheesy action novels did you read before coming here?” Anon said off to the side, his comment gaining the attention of the devil mare herself.

“Ah yes, Come here ape. You shall be spared.” She said with a sultry expression, pawing at the ground in anticipation. Anon shrugs and walks over.

“Anon!? How could you!?” Twilight shouted, tears brimming in her eyes.

Anon merely sighed and looks back at her. “What did you expect?! I needed some way to get within arms reach of her.”

“What?” Just as Nightmare Moon turned to look at the human, she got socked in the face. Anon retracted his fist quickly to shake away the stinging pain in his knuckles.

“ow, ow, ow.” He sucked in air through his teeth, shaking his bruised fist around in pain. “Never hit someone wearing armor. Never hit someone wearing armor...hey, what the...?” Before he could react, he found himself thrown across the room by the moon horse's magic, landing in a heap next to the others.

“...fucking...bitch.”

“Now, the rest of you should take heed, if you stand by the unicorns side, then you shall suffer the same fate.”

Twilight looked on in fear as her assistant laid their in the corner, unmoving.

“Not a chance!”
“you'll have to go through all of us you ruffian!”
“...y-y-yeah...”
“Ain’t nopony gonna stop us!”
“Yeah! So take a hike you meanie!”

All of Twilight's friends stepped forward to stand at her side, each adorning a stern look of determination. Twilight's heart warmed at the scene as she finally figured out how to get the elements to work.

“That's it!” Everyone present looked to her in confusion. “I figured out how to stop her!”

“Hrmm...oh really? How do you plan to do that when you can't operate the elements?” Nightmare Moon says smugly, but stopped her charade when she saw Twilight’s knowing gaze.

“You see Nightmare, that's where you are wrong. It was told that a spark was needed to activated the elements of harmony, but it wasn't electrical or magical...in fact, it was a different kind of spark. The spark that I felt when these ponies came to my aid when I needed them most just now. Because you see, the elements aren't in these ancient balls, they're inside us all. Each and every one of us.” She recited, looking over to her friends in pride.

“Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of...honesty!” As she said this, applejack was lifted into the air by some unknown force, one of the balls crumbling into dust, which floated over and surrounded her in an unknown energy.

“Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the spirit of...kindness!” And similarly, another ball broke into dust and surrounded, the now airborne, Fluttershy in a shield of energy.

“Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of...laughter!” Another mare another ball.

“Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift represents the spirit of...generosity!” And again.

“And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire represents the spirit of...loyalty!” The last ball broke and surrounded Rainbow Dash in its energy.

“The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us!” Nightmare moon reeled back in fear.

“And Anon, Who...uh...who...”

“Don't bring me into this. Just summon the elements, kill moon horse and lets go home.” Anon said, clambering to his feet again.

Nightmare Moon brought her hoof down to the floor in anger, cracking the stone slab beneath her. “But you still don't have the sixth element! It didn't work!” Twilight smiled wickedly.

“But that's where you are wrong, because you see, the spark ignited a realization inside of me. A beautiful truth that will help us get through even the toughest of challenges... that these ponies...are my friends!...” A light shined above them all, revealing another ball of energy floating down towards her. “...You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of...

“Please don't say friendship. Please don't say friendship.”

“...magic!”

“Thank you Jesus!” The element joined with Twilight allowing for the others to do the same.

And so the dust formed to create the magical elements that would become the deus ex machina of the series. The power of the elements flew upwards in a spiral and blasted Nightmare Moon with its powerful rainbow...beam? I don't know. Moon Horse was defeated in another tornado thingie and twilight got laser eyes. MOVING ON...

The six mares all lay on the stone floor of the Throne room, trying to recover from the excessive amount of magical energy they just exerted.

“Ugh, my head.” Rainbow said, sitting up in place.

“E-Everypony Okay?” Applejack asked.

“The fuck just happened?”

“It worked!” Twilight shouted, jumping with joy.

“Oh thank goodness!” Rarity exclaimed, earning the attention of everyone present.

“Why Rarity, it's so lovely.” Fluttershy complimented as rarity inspected her newly regrown tail.

“I know! I'll never part with it again.” She replied, wrapping her tail around her in an affectionate hug.

“I'm no expert, but I think she's talking about your necklace thingie.” Rarity looked down in curiosity to see the gold necklace now wrapped around her neck, with the purple diamond in the center.

“Why...it looks just like my cutie mark.” She said with wonder.

“Mine too!” Pinkie shouted across the room, as everyone admired their respective pieces of jewelry. One piece in particular gaining Anon's attention.

“Why does Twilight have a crown?”

“Because I'm the element of magic...I think.” She replied with a shrug.

“Yeah, but...why a crown?” She shrugged in response.

“I guess it's something we'll never know.” She said in a matter of fact tone. Anon just stood there in bewilderment for a few seconds, before shaking his head and continuing on.

“Foreshadowing. Got it.” He said dismissively. Applejack finished admiring her own element, turned to Twilight.

“Gee, Twilight! I thought you were just spoutin' a lot of hooey, but I reckon we really do represent the elements of friendship.” The others nodding their heads in agreement.

“Way to spell it out for the dumb asses, Applejack.”

“Oh, but she's correct Anon.” Came the serene and motherly voice of the Princess herself and just as she said this, the sun slowly began its ascent towards the horizon, marking the end of the dreaded nightmare and the dawn of the new day.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight wasted no time in running up to her mentor as they shared a tender embrace.

“Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I knew you could do it.” Twilight pulled away to look at the Princess in confusion.

“But... you told me it was all an old pony tale.”

Celestia give her a knowing look of pride. “I told you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her, but you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart...”

“Oh god I hate Equestria's laws of reality! Why does everything have to be so fucking hapy and cheesy and...fucking stupid?!” Anon shouted, imitating a gagging motion with his finger.

Following the general conduct for the day, Celestia ignored the human. “...Now if only another will as well. Princess Luna!” Everyone turned to the place where Nightmare Moon was last seen, but now all that remained were the broken fragments of her armor and a small horse, lying on the floor, shivering in fear of the sun Princess's dominating presence. She shrinked back as Celestia approaches.

“It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this...” She knelt down next to the smaller Alicorn. “...Time to put our differences behind us. We were meant to rule together, little sister.” everyone else had almost the same reaction.

“Sister?”

“So she sent her own sister to the moon?...Dick move man...dick move” Anon muttered under his breath with a small chuckle.

Celestia Stood once again and held out her hoof to her little sister. “Will you accept my friendship?”

“Wait...What!?”

Luna looked to Celestia with tears brimming in her eyes. “I'm so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister!” She jumped forward and wraps her hooves around the white mare in a teary embrace.

“I've missed you too.” Celestia replied, shedding her own tears of happiness.

Anon rolled his eyes. “Oh...so we're just gonna forget about her trying to kill us all two minutes ago?...okay...there's no possible way this could be a trap...or a bluff...okay this is just too stupid. I'm going back to Ponyville, see ya there.” He turned and left the room, the others ignoring him like they usually did.

“Hey, Anon's right. We should go back to Ponyville...” When everyone looked to Pinkie in confusion, she continued. “because you know what this calls for...?”

“...A party!” Pinkie shouted as ponies from across Ponyville gathered in the town square for the celebration of the return of princess Luna. Food and drinks were spread out across the many tables and streamers, banners, balloons and confetti adorned the nearby buildings as ponies cheered and danced to the merry music being played.

Princesses Celestia and Luna arrived to welcoming hooves as the newly appointed bearers of the elements of harmony joked and told others about their quest. Anon sat over to the side, taking a drink of cider with a genuine smile on his face.

“Hiya Anon!” Pinkie shouted, taking a seat next to him.

“How's it going walking personification of ADD?”

“Oh I'm great! You look happy for once.”

Anon merely smiled and took another drink from his cider. “Of course! All this bullshit is over with and I finally get to go home. What's not to love!” The pink mare giggled and bonked the human on the shoulder, before disappearing completely. The human looked on in confusion but shrugged it off.

Meanwhile, princess Celestia approached her prized pupil standing off to the side with a rather sad expression. “Why so glum, my faithful student? Are you not happy that your quest is complete and you can return to your studies in Canterlot?” Twilight looked up to her teacher and sighed heavily.

“That's just it. Just when I learned how wonderful it is to have friends, I have to leave them.” She said, looking over to her friends sadly. Princess Celestia smiled and took out a piece of parchment with her magic and began to scribble down a note as she read aloud. Everyone stopped what they were doing to listen to their ruler.

“I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that the unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the magic of friendship. She must report to me her findings from her new home in...Ponyville.” She finished, Twilight's eyes lit up like stars.

“Oh thank you, Princess Celestia! I'll study harder than ever before!” She said hugging the Princess tightly. The rest of the ponies cheered in celebration at the prospect of their new friend staying in Ponyville.

When everything died down, Anon approached the purple mare, completely oblivious to what just transcribed.

“Hey Twilight. We gonna head home soon?” ...silence. It took about seven seconds for Anon to deduce what was going on from everyone's averted gaze.

“...oh fuck all of you.”

Author's Notes:

Well...I finally wrote the next Chapter and I have to say...

My god was writing that chapter a chore. I don't even know why. I just didn't enjoy writing this chapter in particular.(and it shows near the second half.)
It's probably got something to do with the fact that is' in third person or past tense or I personally found this chapter lacking in comedy,
but I got it done and it's behind me.

so if you could tell me what you guys thought that'd be great.

and stay awesome!