"So... I'm guessing you're wondering why I gathered you all here." Rambo Jesus stated, looking around at the people... and the one pokemon... gathered around him.

"Yeah, no shit." Swiper the Sniper commented, leaning against a wall as he polished his desert eagle. No, it's not golden. Golden guns is for Call of Duty faggot noobs. Seriously, do you have any idea how retarded it would be to carry around a golden gun in a combat zone?

Off topic.

"Cut the shit, Swiper!" Rambo Jesus snapped, "I gathered you all here for a matter of the utmost import- you know what, fuck this. My older brother Black Jesus is sending us in to fuck up some elite bad ass mofo's. Then we're going to get these things called the Elements of Harmony and bring em back to him. We must get these Elements of Harmony and return them to Black Jesus undamaged. Are we clear?"

(Authors note - I actually did a briefing like that once upon a time.)

"Pika!" Pikachu stated.

"Yes, thank you for that compliment Pikachu." Rambo Jesus ssaid, beaming at him.

"He can actually understand him?" Nicholas Cage asked Connor MacManus.

Connor shrugged. "I don't know man. I don't know." He responded.

Meanwhile, in Las Pegas, Rarity and Bruce Campbell disembarked from their private jet, under the watchful eyes of a joint Klokateer/Lunar Special Forces vanguard. While Giant Terry Crews has moved on, and as far as they knew, Celestia was busy, no one wanted to talk any risks.

"A bit overkill, don't you think?" Bruce commented, as he helped Rarity into the limo waiting for them, before sitting beside her.

"Better safe than sorry, darling." Rarity stated, as she snuggled up against him.

"VIP's are secure. Let's roll!" One of the soldiers called out.

"The convoy is on the move, Princess." Colonel Mcswaggerton (Secretly he is gay) said to the Princess as he walked into her quarters. "But... I have some bad news regarding Steroids Man. We may want to see Black Jesus."

"See me about what, my child?" Black Jesus inquired, as he walked in behind the Colonel.

"Black Jesus, I have some bad news regarding your brother." Mcswaggerton said. "You may want to sit down."

"Okay." Black Jesus stated, taking a seat beside Luna, who leaned into him and nuzzled him affectionately.

"Well... there is no easy way to say this..." Colonel Mcswaggerton began awkwardly, "But... early yesterday, your brother Steroids Man went to Las Pegas to fight Giant Terry Crews, who was attacking the city. As powerful as Steroids Man is... Giant Terry Crews overpowered him. Your brother is dead, Black Jesus."

Luna gasped slightly. "Oh Jesus... we are so sorry."

Black Jesus didn't respond. There was a tense silence for about a minute before Black Jesus said something. "Run." He ordered.

"What?" Luna asked.

"RUN!" Black Jesus shouted, as he turned towards Luna. Luna gasped as he noticed his wig, which was now his real hair thanks to the power of Old Spice (that's right, Old Spice cures baldness too), start to change from a dark brown color to a bright golden power. Black Jesus then flew through the roof at speeds that would put the Flash, Sonic, and Rainbow Dash to shame.

About a hundred miles away, Black Jesus landed in the middle of a barren desert. In his rage over the death of his brother, Black Jesus brother went through a transformation. I'm sure those of you who are fans of Dragon Ball Z are raging over the impossibility of this. But come on, this is the son of God. If Black Jesus wants to go Super Saiyan, he can go fucking Super Saiyan.

Black Jesus summoned a mirror with his black magic and examined himself with it. His hair was now, for some reason or another, spiked and flowing freely, as well as a bright golden color. His eyes as turned to a bluish-green color, and his muscles seemed much more toned. "That's new." Super Saiyan Black Jesus commented.

The moment Super Saiyan Black Jesus saw himself in the mirror, his first thought was that he should head back and show Luna a good time. But then he realized the purpose of this transformation, as he launched into the air, flying away at the speed of light.

Not even a second later, he stopped right in front of Giant Terry Crews, who was approaching Trottingham. As soon as Giant Terry Crews spotted him, he lunged at him, swinging his lumbering arm out at Super Saiyan Black Jesus with as much strength as he could muster. Super Saiyan neither flinched nor dodged the blow. He simply reached out and grabbed Giant Terry Crews giant arm with a single hand and flinging him up in the air. He then teleported above Giant Terry Crews and kicked him down towards the ground, sending him crashing into the forest below.

"Bitch please." Super Saiyan Black Jesus commented, before summoning a ball of energy, which he used to shoot a giant laser at Giant Terry Crews's limp form. Once the smoke cleared, Super Saiyan Black Jesus noticed that all that was left of Giant Terry Crews was a giant charred skeleton, as well as a large crater. Satisfied with the death of his brother murderer, Super Saiyan Black Jesus flew away, heading back for Las Pegasus.

Authors note - I apologize for the late update. A few days ago, a close friend of mine passed... and I didn't go through the process of grieving well. Especially with those fucking Westboro Baptists protesting his funeral. We have a few more chapters left before this story comes to an end, but then the next installment in the series will begin. Thank you for your patience.