[MarineMarksman - Sorry for the delay. I ran out of Old Spice, and I didn't get the chance to get anymore till recently. Why does this stop me? Because writing about Old Spice without wearing Old Spice is a sin equal to wearing Axe... but not equal to wearing Axe and talking about Old Spice.]

"Hey it's Vince Offer with an exciting new offer." Vince Offer stated.

"What the fuck is this shit?!" Every reader of this fic demanded angrily. Everyone knew that Vince Offer, aka, the Shamwow Guy, sucks some serious cock,

Vince pulled out a shamwow. "Look, shamwow! Wow! The super absorbant towel sponge thing! But guess what? It now has the permanent smell of Old Spice Mans Scented Body Wash. Wow! Look at this! I'm totally not annoying at all!"

Suddenly, the door behind Vince crashed down, to reveal a pissed off Billy Mays, cradling a double barrel shotgun in his hands.

"ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?" Billy Mays demanded, cocking his shotgun and blowing off Vince Offers face. Billy Mays kicked his limp, bleeding, lifeless body with all his strength.

"FUCK SHAMWOW!" Billy Mays exclaimed, turning his attention to the readers, "HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH ZORBEEZ 2.0! THE MAKERS OF ZORBEEZ REALIZED SHAMWOW, SADLY, WAS MORE EFFECTIVE THAN THE ORIGINAL ZORBEEZ! NOW, ZORBEEZ 2.0 NOT ONLY HOLDS OVER SIXTY MOTHER FUCKING OUNCES OF LIQUID AND IS PRACTICALLY INVINCIBLE, IT NOW HAS THE PERMENANT SMELL OF OLD SPICE! SHAMWOW, HOWEVER, HAS PROVEN NOT TO HAVE A PERMANANT SCENT OF OLD SPICE!" At this, Billy Mays spat on Vince's lifeless body, before blasting him in the stomach with his shotgun, "ORDER TODAY, AND WE WILL INCLUDE A DOUBLE ORDER OF ZORBEEZ 2.0, AS WELL AS A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF OLD SPICE COLTS SCENTED BODY WASH! AND ONLY FOR 19.99 (plus OVER 9000! dollars in shipping and handling), ALL THIS CAN BE YOURS!"

"NOW, ENJOY CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX!" Billy Mays stated, waving goodbye to the readers.

Hitler marched through the streets of Ponyville, followed by a crowd of curious ponies. As he instructed, everytime Hitler shouted "SIEG HEIL!", the crowd would shout "HEIL" back.

"SIEG HEIL!" Hitler shouted.

"HEIL!" The crowd shouted back.

Hitler suddenly stopped and faced the crowd. "MIEN FOLLOWERS, I AM HERE TO BRING YOU NEWS OF TREACHERY AND HATE! THE UNICORN RACE IS PLOTTING AGAINST THE EARTH PONIES AND PEGASI! ALREADY, THEY ARE PLANNING TO WIPE OUT YOUR RACES COMPLETELY, SO THEY CAN LIVE IN HARMONY ON THEIR OWN. THEY SEE YOU AS SCUM, BUT I SEE YOU AS TRULY SUPERIOR. SIEG HEIL!"

"HEIL!" The frenzied crowd shouted back.

"GO, MIEN FRIENDS! GATHER THE UNICORNS! WE SHALL PUNISH THEM FOR THEIR EVIL! SIEG HEIL!"

"HEIL!" The crowd responded, before running off in multiple directions, searching for the small population of unicorns in Ponyville.

"Niggers." Hitler muttered happily to himself, watching the ponies leave. It was Nazi Germany all over again, just with ponies.

"Hey Hitlah." An overly high pitched voice greeted. Hitler turned around and came face to face with his greatest rival.

"JUSTIN BIEBER! YOU LESBIAN SCUM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! ARE YOU HERE TO MEDDLE IN MIEN AFFAIRS ONCE MORE?!" Hitler demanded, thinking back to the previous time the Fuhrer and this lesbian met up.

Hitler sat in his office, leaning back contently in his heavenly office chair that Hitler had nicknamed 'Mien Chair'. Suddenly, Hitlers assistance named Gunshe, who Hitler called 'Mien Gunshe', ran in and flashed Hitler a Nazi Salute.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, MIEN GUNSHE!?" Hitler demanded.

"Mien Fuhrer, I come bearing a report from Steiner on the bunkers security, and it would appear someone has infilitrated the bunker and is killing off member of the staff. The heads of every body found appears to have imploded." Gunshe stated.

"Well that's just fucking perfect. WHAT THE FUCK?!" Hitler shouted slamming his fist on his desk, "I CAN'T ALLOW SOMEONE TO GO THROUGH MY BUNKER AND KILL OFF MIEN PEOPLE!"

"FEGELEIN MUST BE RESPONSIBLE!" Hitler released, before slamming his fist on his desk over and over again, "FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!"

"Sadly, it was not that bastard Fegelein, nor his antics... IT WAS YOU, WHO KILLED MIEN STAFF WITH YOUR HORRIBLE TALENTLESS VOICE!"

"It's not horrible! It's original and sexy, like the lyrics of my songs. Baby, baby, baby, oh!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Hitler shouted at Justin Bieber, his ears starting to bleed.

While Justin Bieber "sang" (you could hardly call it singing; the sounds a dying animal makes is more musical than Justin Biebers talentless voice) and Hitler ranted, Caramel watched them with glazed over eyes from a far. He expertly rolled up a blunt and placed it in between his lips, before lighting it and inhaling deeply. As he exhaled, the day seemed to get even brighter and more cheerful.

"Dis some good shit." Caramel commented.