I rose out of my pile of children, Wayne and Baux tucked against my arm. "Alright...good to go." I mumbled, scratching my head as I walked towards the door with my children in my arms. Wayne and his little friend slowly came to, the others and Foxglove taking my place and nestling against where I was. "They seek the warmth...always." I mumbled, only marginally awake.

I checked out the window, brushing a foal's ear as I peeked outside. We were already in Canterlot, a pair of night guards were waiting on the freshly rebuild platform. "Daddy...." Wayne hissed, sinking his teeth into my arm once again. He smiled wide, nestling in and adjusting his bite. I let out a soft groan, his bites not painful, but still itchy.

"You're a little monster." I pulled the door open, stepping out into the warming spring dusk. The two guards turned to me with a pair of loud steps. "Oh, hi." I looked back at the train. "Can you make sure they all get to the embassy?"

The guards stared at me, nodding twice in unison. "That's why we're here. Luna's finest."

I glared at the pair. "Man...screw Luna." I turned to the path off the platform. "Those thousand years didn't really serve her well."

One of the guards coughed softly. "She's...trying--"

"Not hard enough man!" I shouted, walking up a set of stairs and onto a bridge that connected the platforms to the road. "Seriously-" I leaned over the railing. "-she sent me, a babysitter, to a medieval province full of murderers. No warning, no hey, maybe bring a baton and lay down the law real quick. No, I got, you're count, have fun!" I turned back to the path. "Ugh, I guess someone had to do it. Not bitter or anything."

Baux looked up at me. "You seem a bit bitter--"

"You're like four, don't talk to me about bitter!" I picked her up and put her on my head. "Kid, you don't even know bitter, you're four!"

Baux settled in against my crown, the filly a bit plump. "I--"

"Baux, look around." I commanded her, taking the steps down towards the main station and road. "Ever been outside of Transylmania?"

Baux locked up, her tail reaching down to the back of my neck. "Big...." She mumbled, her forelegs digging against my forehead as I carried my foals towards the road. I got a few strange looks from the ponies waiting for the train, but nothing too violent. It seemed more annoyed at my bringing children onto a train platform instead of their being bat ponies.

It felt good to be in a well lit, warm city. I could feel myself relaxing, no longer feeling the constant threat of death looming over me like a ghastly pendulum. I held Baux against my head, keeping Wayne tucked up in my arm and chewing on me. "Baux, you want to see where I lived?"

Baux looked around, her mane whipping around and smacking my ear. "Warm...."

I chuckled softly. "Let's go see if my brother in law is still there. They were supposed to be watching the place." I felt so good, my heart was light, my body felt warm from the dying sun, and everything felt easier.

I wasn't the count, I wasn't important, I was some guy with his kids walking down the street. I was so happy, my entire body up and active as I soaked up what light I could. There were street lamps and carts, guard ponies and a constant bustle that Transylmania never had. I had no responsibility past my children, and I could finally go home, my apartment, my house, all of it was waiting for me.

I hurried down the usual streets, towering above the ponies, feeling strong and in charge of my life for the first time in three months. "Been away too long." I walked down the side streets, heading towards my home. The buildings felt familiar, bright in the orange light of dusk. My entire being was calm, my muscles were relaxed, even my blood felt warm.

I walked down my street, a loud sawing noise catching my attention. "Whoa, is som- holy shit." I stopped dead in the middle of my dozy street. "What-The-Fuck?" My house was gone, a massive timber frame taking up the lot where it once stood. "Wayne, never talk like this, you too Baux. But what the scrambled hell happened?"

I walked towards the framework, watching ponies in hardhats go to work setting them in place. The first floor was almost done, but the rest was still frames and shingles. "Oh god, what--"

"Hello Ben." A familiar and terrifying voice came from my right. I turned slowly, finding Pursa standing before me. "This, this is the work of my son I'm afraid."

I stared at the red headed mare. "Um...How are you standing? How are you here? What the hell happened to my house?"

Pursa took a deep breath. She turned to the side, showing off a pair of metal frame prosthetic attached. They were amazing, something out of a scifi movie. Metal tubes and false hooves reaching down from her hips. They moved like real pony legs, stretched out like real legs. "Impressive, yes?"

I realized my mouth was hanging open and promptly closed it. "Uh, yes? What exactly--"

"A company was working on these, I was found, offered to be a test subject." She turned back around, stomping her back legs. "And Ben, I'm truly sorry for what I did." She bowed her head, a sour expression on her face. "I don't blame you for what you did. I simply wish to move past and--"

I looked past her at the ponies rebuilding my house. "In all fairness, I was just going to banish you. Foxglove came up with the crippling thing."

Prusa looked at up at me, a strangely accepting. "Of course." She flattened her ears out and let out a salty groan. "She's my daughter. And you're...I didn't think it was your idea from the start." She walked beside me, rearing up and reaching to peek at Wayne. "Poisoned or not, the one who raised this wouldn't conceive that order."

I let out a long sigh and ducked down. "You know it hurt me right? I've forgiven a lot, and I get it. But you did hurt me." My stomach churned slightly as Pursa played with Wayne. "Being cutthroat isn't really a good excuse, for the record."

Pursa looked up at me with a slight frown. "Is it not? I've heard about your laws. I really would have thought you'd have set something like that in motion upon arrival instead of waiting until the fourth assassination attempt."

I felt my face draw up into a heavy frown. "...I don't- I don't know, nor do I want to know what you're taking about. Don't ruin my vacation for me, please...."

Pursa frowned at me again. "I wasn't planning to. I was banished, I have about as much say in the politics of Transylmania as a piece of oat cake."

I sighed loudly. "Honestly that might be for the best."

"I'm inclined to agree with you. To be honest since- and might I just say, I'm not absolving you of crippling me, but given the circumstances I believe we've taken an eye for an eye." Pursa rested her chin on Wayne's head. "Oh, yes, I was going to say. Since I've left, I've been part of a project to save many ponies like myself, watched my child raise two extremely strange children, and moved from, what is honestly an extremely violent place, to Canterlot." She smiled at me. "And, English has been learned modestly."

"Oh, nice." I chuckled nervously. "Yeah, that place is...vitriol."

Pursa cocked her head. "What?"

"Bad."

"Ah, yes." She looked towards Canterlot Castle. "Another world compared to here, I think." She sighed loudly. "A shame it's what we have. The weather here is much nicer."

"It is." I stood up, looking towards my house. "So, what happened?"

Pursa looked towards the house. "Oh...that. Dov, out here now!" She shouted at an adjacent house. After a loud bustle a pale looking unicorn ran out with a large egg tucked in her saddle bag.

"Dov is busy, what did you need?" She asked with a clear English accent. "Oh, who is this?"

Pursa stepped between the mare and I. "Ben, this is Marcy. She's the one who helped me with my legs."

I frowned hard. "Do you have to keep bringing that up? I'm serious...it wasn't my idea. Foxglove said they'd listen to me more if I put my foot down."

Marcy frowned hard. "Oh, that ordeal. I'm not about to pass judgment on events I had no hoof in." She walked up to me bowing slightly. "A pleasure to meet you."

I took a deep breath, carefully balancing Baux on my head and reaching down to meet her hoof. "Ben Wesk, freelance babysitter and Count."

Marcy pulled her hoof back. "Well that's an interesting title." She looked me up and down. "Which is more important to you?"

I looked up at Baux's blue mane hanging around the edge of my vision. "The one I carry around with me."

Marcy smiled wide. "Cute. Oh, you're wondering about the house." She swung herself around. "Same place these came from oddly enough." She thrust her flank out. "Your...nephew? I think that's how it goes? Niece, to be honest we're not actually sure yet."

I felt my mouth hang open again, a dryness taking refuge in my maw. "Uh, egg. Egg. What? And you're not- but the teeth--"

"Thestral, not a bat, yes." She lowered her head, showing off her horn. "I was nocturnal anyways, this ordeal just made it official."

I took a deep breath. "And the eggs?"

"Dragon." She stated, looking towards the house. "Or rather kirin. Seems Dov dipped himself into some rather bestial girls."

I stared at her, not sure if she was screwing with me or not. I looked back to Pursa, her legs reminding me of the world I was in. "Kids, Wayne, Baux, dragon plus pony makes a baby." I started to laugh. "Oh god, this place is so weird, like, so, so so weird."

Marcy looked me up and down. "You, a human named count of bat pony lands, are calling this strange?"

"I never said I wasn't!" I clarified, starting to laugh again. "Oh god...I don't know what to do with this information." I grabbed my head. "Is there--"

Marcy smiled at me. "Yes, of course there are more. Dragon hybrids, human hybrids, griffon hybrids. Your brother was quite prolific."

I swallowed hard. "Oh Jesus, what?"

"I'm taking care of it though." Marcy smiled at me. "You don't run a company without dealing with a few unexpected pregnancies."

I pulled Baux off my head and quickly pushed the foals onto Pursa. "Hold these." I turned to Marcy with two marching steps and glared down at her. "You--"

"Yes?" She asked, with a smile of course. "How can I help?"

I snapped down, grabbing her and pulling her into the tightest possible hug I could muster. "EEeeerhmygod," I squeezed her tight, burying my head against her neck. "How do I give you more money?!"

Marcy shook herself free, sliding down to the floor. "Um, you want to fund me?"

I looked around, the egg, the mare with the robot legs, me. "I will give you everything I can find, just...things cannot get normal again, we can only go deeper."

She laughed softly. "I'm not the one who encouraged him to spread his seed around--"

"Are you two married? Because you've--"

"Oh Luna no!" She jumped back. "No. I'm helping in exchange for- well...to put it bluntly I cut his foreleg off." She smiled nervously. "They said I had a problem, then I did it. Machines met skin and I bucking did it!"

I rubbed my face as Pursa struggled to keep the foals away from her legs. "So he gave up a leg for help raising kids?"

"More or less." Marcy stated, still smiling. "And for science, so you know, good cause."

I clapped my hands together. "I really don't have anything to say to that." I turned to Pursa, plucking my foals off her and turning to the mares. "This has been an absolutely insane visit. Now, I'm going to go back to Earth, and pray to god I can escape this crazy shit for at least two hours." I turned to the road. "I'm losing my damn mind little by little."