I sat among my children, flipping through a checklist as they hurried inside. "...Ben...Cream...Cork...Cormey...these aren't in order." I chuckled, watching Moon filter in with the foals. "And you're not even on the list!"

Moon kept her head down, hail in chain with Foxglove. Foxglove looked over to me, foals attached to her tail. "I'll explain--"

"She's going to be my mistress...isn't she?" I asked, slowly resolving myself to at least a few of Transylmania's backwards cultural ideas. "...Great--"

"She's my mistress too." She stated, leaving the chain and carefully flying herself onto my chest, laying across me and joining the pile of foals. "It's--"

"So it's polygamy? Makes sense...." I stated, continuing to make sure the foals were in. "Holy crap, so...I didn't realize how many we'd picked up." I looked at the guards at the entrance of the train, "All the foals are walking now too, right?"

Foxglove let out a long sigh. "Walking, flying, they're growing up." She slowly sank in against my lap, the foals adjusting around her. Castor had claimed her place under my Chin, Wayne taking my hand in his mouth as he slept in the crook of my arm. Baux was laying atop Wayne, her teeth sunken into his ear. "...Look at that." Foxglove poked Baux's ear, causing her to twitch. "That's cute, she's got a crush."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Does he?"

Foxglove turned to me with a grimace. "Her, not him. Bauxite. Wayne doesn't know, Wayne still craps himself...." She looked back to me, bags under her eyes. "Did you--"

"I know, but he likes her too." I shifted my arm, lowering Wayne and Baux deeper into my shoulder. "How old is she?"

Foxglove wrapped her tail around the two. "Not much older, she's four? I think she's four, to be honest it's hard to tell with half the orphans."

I frowned hard, passing my checklist off to a guard. "Ear healed up nice. I tried to move my hand to Baux's ear, quickly reeled back in by Wayne's budding teeth. "Teeth are coming in...sharp."

Foxglove sighed loudly, her plump stomach warm against the spot where my shirt rode up the front. "I'm looking forward to, wherever we're going."

"Vermont." I stated, settling back with a load of foals getting hung from rails on the roof or against each other. I was the biggest one in the pile, but smaller clumps of life were forming up around the older foals. One of my human guards looked around quickly. "Yo...you're sketchy as hell, what's wrong with you?"

The guard turned to me, her fangs showing as she smiled nervously. "Um...can you move?"

I felt my eyes pop open wide at the question. "What the hell does that mean?!"

The guard jammed her hand into her back pocket, the dark navy uniform loudly distorting. "I'm gonna guess no." She pulled a bright white camera around, taking a few pictures of me and my children. "I'll send you a few copies."

"Oh god damn it...." I grumbled so softly only I could hear. The guard walked around the ornate train car, snapping pictures of the foals as they hung from their strange sleeping posts or curled up. Most chose the ground, but others preferring the cold clean air hung from their tails. The guard was attentive, only snapping pictures and not using the flash. She watched each step, making sure to avoid the foals as they slumped forward and slept. "Seriously?"

The guard ignored me, a content smile on her face. "Totally." She continued to take a few pictures. "Besides, we can use this in publicity. Gotta think smart--" The guard nearly jumped out of her skin as the chain of foals collided with her shins.  "Oh god no--" She flung her arms out, catching on a cabinate and sliding down into a bare spot of train. "Oh pleas--" She was shut up as the conga line overtook her lap, curling around her and overtaking her lower half in grey and multicolored manes. "Arugh!" She held her hand up, reenacting the scene from terminator two.

"Wow...that reference, no one is going to get it." I luaghed, looking over to the other guard. "You get--"

He cleared his throat, choosing to speak in Thestrali. "I don't speak English very well."

I stared at him, switching languages to accommodate. "You learned Thestrali before you learned English?"

"I live in Transylmania, why would I learn English?"

I felt a strange sense of pride well up in my stomach. "Huh...So where you--"

"Un-gary. Hungary."

I stared at him. "Then how- god damn this language shuffle crap!" I looked around, making sure none of the foals was in danger. "How did you end up here then?"

The guard finished up with the clipboard, scooting one of my kids into the train with the side of his toe. "I came to get away from the war, they told me this place had work, I found a wife and settled down."

I bit my tongue. "What color? Because the man--"

"Human." He stated, stepping back out of the train. "You should take a look around your city when you get back, it's quite a bit different than when I arrived."

I watched the man disappear behind the door, leaving me among the foals and the kidnapped guard. "Human on human in Equestria...." I stared angrily at the door to the engine. "... Why does that bug me?"

Moon pushed up, a foal latched onto her shoulder. "Because you have a fetish for Equestrians. More accurately you have a fetish for bat ponies.... You pervert." She quickly slumped back down, burned out and the only source of white on a multicolored pile of hair.

I looked around the room, stuffed full of sleeping ponies, myself the only one with a night's rest. "I know they don't know what you're saying, but still." I looked down to Scotch, blue mane tangled up in my fingers as he pet himself with my hand. I looked down at Foxglove and Castor, white and grey mixing at my chin as the two slept. I looked down at all the ponies, and my guard.

I felt warm, like I'd accomplished something. And being on the train gave me a chance to fantizise saving a room full of foals from living in some dungeon. "Choo choo...next stop, someplace with computer--"

Moon shoved up again. "I have a computer!"

"Choo choo, next stop someplace without murdering politicians."

Moon Light just stood there, propped up on her forelegs. "... Next stop, boring."