Griffons Cathouse
Chapter 9: Pinkamena's Submission/The Consequence of Choice(Circumstance)
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God... DAMN I don't even wanna think about how long it's been since I've updated... ... ... ...
-looks when last chapter was posted-
Oh Jesus Christ!!
You know... typing how I'm sorry over and over and over and over and over again just seems so... not enough. I can only help the yarn I'm about to spin you is worth at least a little of the wait. All I can promise is that I will not go this long without activity again! Two years is ridiculous.
Anyway, this chapter is a... interesting one; as far as subject matter goes. Pinkie's characterization last chapter seemed to go over well, so in my absence,I took some time to really step back and think about this person, and try to figure out who 'Pinkie', and 'Pinkamena' would feel/what they would believe and why; method to the madness I guess, but without too much of an origin story.
A chapter like this may or may not be for everybody; I'm very into deconstruction as a writing and story telling form, and this chapter (I hope so anyway) personalizes the personal goal I set for myself when I started this. I hope it's not too beating-over-the-head, and honestly, like the other chapters, tone and theme wise it is its own thing, but this is the tone I that I'm going to attempt to keep consistent for the remainder.
BTW. Happy New Year to all. Sorry this took so long.
-------------------------------------Gilda-----------------------------------
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...
Jesus, where the hell'd you go; haven't seen you around in forever! Where'd I leave off again?... Oh yeah! So, that Pink McSpazz-a-tron knocks on my door finally, right?
The door pushed open, and I came face to face once again with the pink menace; Pinkie Pie. I had a game plan- play it cool, don't be a dick, and sloooowly break her down. Someone like Pinkie Pie requires a certain knack, and rhythm. Of course, how does one get in rhythm with an ever changing scherzo? You whittle it down with a cold, calculating, deceiving adagio, that's how.
I knew it'd just be for the best if I didn't inform her about my witnessing her little... 'session', under my window. I figured it'd probably just make her lock up, and then I'd never get anything worthwhile out of her; Pinkie seems like the kind of person who, even though she can talk a lotta talk, she knows when to shut up about certain shit. It's always the peppy, happy ones... least that's what anime's' have taught me...
"Hi Gilda~! Sorry about being late today, I got, unexpectedly, non-negotiable-ly, held up. Am I still able to apply for... whatever stuffs I was applying for?"
"Hmm... well, I don't see why not. Come on in and pop a squat, let's get this started."
Already I suspected something was up with her; compared to yesterday; everything about her just seemed so... subdued. Yesterday she zoomed over to the chair, and along with crushing my hand, wouldn't shut the hell up. Today: no catchy door-knock jingle, and no instead of transporting to my desk, she slowly sauntered over to the chair and calmly took a seat. She was wearing more or less the same thing from yesterday, hair done up the same, but she was just... missing something.
"So how was your night? Sleep alright?" Figured I'd ease her into a comfort zone with some basic small talk. I shifted my gaze towards my desk, organizing some things; in an attempt to create a nonchalant atmosphere. She smiled a small smile while shrugging her shoulders.
"Oh I can't complain I guess. I ended up crashing with the Cakes last night, that was pretty cool." Really? Didn't think they were such good terms so soon. Actually come to think of it...
"The Cakes huh? That is cool actually; they're a couple of sweethearts. That reminds me actually, I never got around to asking you this yesterday, but out of curiosity, where are you staying at, during your time here?"
"Cousins place, just on the outskirts of town."
That answer seemed too prepared... too rehearsed. What the hell is with her? Whatever poker face she had yesterday is long gone... where the hell did she go; mentally?
She was even sitting differently (I felt a little weird on how I took notice to that, but I think I'm at a point in my mental decay, that I can just do shit like that now), she was tense, nervous, couldn't seem to relax. That smile... so... fake...
"Nice, nice. Why the sudden location change? Fresno is quite a trek from here. Kind of a different climate too." I looked up just in time to see her eyes quickly flicker up, then back to me. If I wasn't looking for 'liar's tells', I wouldn't have noticed that. I saw her left hand go up to her hair, and her index finger started to fiddle around with a random curl.
"Well... as I alluded to yesterday, home life was pretty..." She stumbled to her self for a few seconds, really trying to find a way to explain it to me. "... in all honesty, it was pretty... just... blue." 'Blue'?
...
"And?..."
"I don't like blue."
Oh.
"Oh."...
Well guess that's the fuckin' end of that!
"Well.... i-it couldn't have been all bad. I think you mentioned something about, uh.. uh..." Fuck! Think think thi- oh! "-uhhh Maud! Sounds like you two were pretty tight. From what people with siblings tell me, having a big or little brother or sister, is pretty cool. Sounds cool honestly." 'Specially if they can be used as blackmail, heh heh...
She changed smiles on me after I said that. It went from 'forced-and-plastically-polite', to one more akin to reminiscence; nostalgia.
Finally, a little pay dirt. How odd, just yesterday she was probing me...
"Hm hm, yeah... Maud. We got along really well. When everyone else ignored me, or interrupted me, Maud was always there to lend a shoulder, or an ear. I have two other sisters, but, sometimes it felt like she was my only one... I miss her sometimes, ya know?"
Alright good, got her sidetracked. Let's keep it this way, see what we can learn.
"She was pretty cool I take it then, yeah?"
"Oh yeah." She affirmed with a nod. "Out of the everyone in the whole wide world, I liked her the most. She was so cool, so calm, so... the complete opposite of me I guess..." Oooh, do I detect a little hint of a comparison complex? Hmm... she keeps referring to her in a past sense, is she... dead? I should dig deeper on that... fuck, I feel like a detective right now! Eat my shorts Batman!
"I see... whatever happened to Maud, Pinkie?"
" I- I'm sorry?" I really don't like it when people act like I said something stupid like that... reminds me of my Mom.
"Maud, you always speak about her in a past tense, I just assumed that maybe she... uh, well..."
"You thought?..."
"Well that maybe she wasn't... around anymore?-" She gasped, and her eyes bugged out. Ok, she got it
"Oh my NO! Noo no no! No, her physical for is very much sill with us!"
'Physical form'?...
"Uh... you mean she's 'alive' right?" She actually shrugged at me!
"I guess if you want to call it that." Ok... time to get a little rude.
"Well breathing, blinking, and being NOT in a coffin sounds 'alive' to me."
"If that's what you think that's what all this stage of existence simply is, then I can't wholeheartedly disagree with you." How many personalities IS this kid!?
"'What I thi-' all right hold up... what's this about stages and existence and shit?" Shutting her eyes and breathing in slowly, she let out a soft breath, smile returning (I real one, I think) as she began to explain it to me.
"I'm of the belief that our bodies: soft, and squishy with bonzies' and gutzies, while tangible in physical appearance, they are really only a holding places for our true selves: our souls."
Oh great, now I'm talking to George Harrison...
"Oh... I didn't know you were into Hinduism." Smile still on her lips she shook her head.
"I'm not."
"Oh... Kay..." My eyes darted from side to side' awkwardness abound. I coulda sworn that's like straight from their beliefs... "Is that uh... Buddhism?" Another shake.
"Well... bits and pieces of each, I can't deny that."
"... If you don't mind me asking, what do you believe?" I crossed my legs and arms, making myself comfortable... this was getting interesting.
"It's uh... a little tricky to put into words."
"I got time."
She didn't say anything for a while. Already I could tell she out some serious though into whatever she called her faith. Faith... didn't really think about that kind of stuff to often... Faith these days in life is synonymous with stuff like war, corruption, pedophilia, terror, Evangelion, Skillet; a bunch of deplorable shit.
I was raised Christian; Catholic I guess is what we were, technically, but my parents refused to be associated with them, probably something to do with the thousands of years worth of, well; pedophilia and war. Can tell you this though, while they hated Catholicism, they thought the Protestants were total pussies though. My dad use to say, 'The most exciting thing they do on Sunday is a bakesale!', ha ha... but yeah, Christian. Church was a freakin' bore, and whenever I thought about Heaven and shit, all I could think was, 'Well shit, Im'ma die one day.' Course then I'd just put on Twisted Metal and lose myself in my unintended, thinly veiled irony...
I can't really call myself a follower of God anymore. Not causes I'm an atheist but partially because: A. I know i'm going to hell, and B. by about high school I didn't really care about that stuff. I just wanted to live life! And fall in love with my teacher apparently... then break into the crime world successfully with the help of two deadly brothers, and ruin quite a number of lives... ...
I'm so fucked up...
She's still not talking... why is she not talking?...
With all these weird ass thoughts on faith, 'n life and shit I was starting to tense up. With every passing month, my anxiety get's more and more... well fuck, I didn't even have anxiety until the day I knocked out Applejack... or did I prior and didn't realize? What does that say of my state of mind? Conspiring with a country wide underworld God, and his cronies I got over apparently, but trying to crack people's minds, while trying to keep mine glued together, that's what makes me sweat at night???
Trust issues are my worst enemy???
This existential type of bullshit always made me uneasy anyway, but throw in a pink haired enigma whose personality I can't decipher, attitude is inconsistent, and probably knows a thing or two about mind games as well, I was slowly starting to... fidget.
Still not talking... still not fucking talking........
I was more perplexed than anything; never mind the quicker pace in my breathing -the fucks going through her head?- the hastily crossed arms -what's with her staring at the floor this whole time- and not to mention my eyes couldn't seem to find a spot to stay at. This was bad... we've barely talked and I'm overthinking shit she didn't even try to use yet! I was almost seriously contemplating if she wasn't sent by someone to play me?
Say something! Anything! Answer me you ditzy bi-
"Okay~! I think I know how to explain it!"
"O-ok, cool, yeah, go- go ahead." I never thought I'd ever feel relived to have to listen to her talk... Taking some quick, quiet breaths, I steadied my self, already wanting to laugh (and pathetically weep to be honest) at myself for getting paranoid over literally nothing.
She got up from the chair and started pacing around her chair, fingertips touching in thought.
"Ok... so like, you know how we when were kids, we were told how Big G in the sky created aaaaaaallll that we see around us?" She waved her arms about for emphasis.
"Uh, yeah. It's kinda American Upbringing 101." The kid nodded in agreement.
"Righty-roo. Well, I believed in that really strongly when I was a teeny-tiny-Pie. Then as I got older, and started to see the world without the pressure of my parents all the time, I started hearing, and learning about all the different ways this big wide world thinks, and believes in. Believe it or not when I still lived at home, whenever I got a little bit of spending money, I'd end up spending a bulk of it on a buncha different books."
What?? This girl's more well versed in shit than I'd thought...
----------------------Pinkie---------------------
Well, it was Pinkamena's idea mostly... she always said how it can never hurt to know too much... I wonder if she'd still feel that way...
No... can't think about that, she's counting on me to live my life all by my lonesome; like a big girl. At least Gilda seems pretty cool. It feels really nice to just get whatever's on my mind off my chest... or off my mind, whatever.
"Really? Huh, I had no idea you were such a connoisseur of literature."
"Yeah, I like to read a lot too." What in the world is a 'con-is-uey?'
"Uh... y-yeah, so, anyway- you were saying, Pinkie?"
"Oh yeah! So, around the age of thirteen, I started asking my Father about a lot of these things; he was a Pastor at our church, and at first, we had a blasty talkin' about this stuff! But I started to get more... how do I put it... 'suggestive', I guess, with my questions?" Gilda's eyes perked at my using of the word.
"'Suggestive'? How so?"
"See... I kinda started... well, I asked him about other types of beliefs one day; other was of thinking, all that serious stuff. Like, 'What about how these people think', 'What do you think about this way of life', 'Others interpretations of similar stories', things like that."
"And I'm assuming given his position, 'Daddy-Pie' didn't take to well to that?" Woow, she's really good at this talking thing!
"Yep-Yep! Gave me quuiiiite the talking to, I've never seen him use the ladle before." Gilda's head turned to the side- man, she really makes a lot of head movements. Actually a lot of people seem to when I talk to them... actually I do that too!... Is that just something all humans do or-
Right, origin story, sorry...
"What do you mean 'use the ladle'? He made soup or something?" LOL!
"Hahaha! *snort* You're funny Gilda! I meant he used the ladle on me for the first time!" 'Made me soup'- I gotta tell that one to Maud!"
For some reason Gilda got a really perplexed look on her face, I'd wondered if I'd said something wrong, or offensive?
"Gilda? What's wrong, the color's off your face, you look paler than a lamb!"
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She... no, she, she's fucking with me right? The air grew colder as Gilda was thrown back by Pinkie Pies innocent tones, but horrific implications.
"Uh... P-Pinkie by 'use the ladle' you mean... um... d... do you mean like... he hit you?"
"Well yeah! Hurt like the dickens! Builds tough callous' though-" 'callous'... "-tell you what, I got some real traction on these babies!" The youth stepped to the front of the elders' -Not that old, asshole!- desk, showing her the same rough hands Gilda had noticed when first they met; taking on a while new meaning to her now. What really had perturbed Gilda was the blase nature Pinkie had described it.
While far from what many would consider 'normal' Gilda was at the very least aware of the difference between discipline and physical abuse. Her behind still echoed the hand of Father Hof from when she was little, the feeling resurfacing from the back of her mind from time to time.
Does... does she think that that's ok?? To Gilda, it seemed, someone must have tampered with her head, if she said anything but no.
"I uh... h-heh, Pinkie I know this is like, super not my business, but... but you- are you ok with that?" Pinkie's head cocks to the side... processing... processing... thinking of the best possible answer.
"Well whaddya mean? Every parent needs to discipline their children, even if they don't want to. He always made it clear that his hand was simply forced in the matter. In hindsight there was a pretty clever pun in that statement, but Father... never really had a sense of humor." The way the name 'Father' was spoken rubbed Gilda the wrong way.
Calling someones' Father 'Father' is fine, nothing weird in that... but I don't think it's supposed to make one look like their holding back a wince. Best I leave this subject alone for now... although I will make sure to return to this later... better veer the subject back where it was.
"... A-anyway, how does this pertain to your 'faith' alignment?" Like a switch, the pink haired young woman was back on track.
"Oh yeah! So yeah, Father was stoutly Christian, to the point that you could almost call him a pious teacup!" ... Wait, what? "It took a long time; a lot reading time, reflection time, internet chat room time, and I made a conscious decision."
"'Conscious' decision'? How'd ya reach that?"
"Veerrry consciously..." ... u-um...
"*barely contained sigh* Ok... look kid I like you, but if you could give me a straight answer, that'd be lovely right now..."
"To sum it up, I believe anything is possible! anything could've come from anywhere, and while I do have Faith in the Lord, like I was raised, I attribute more of my blessings in life to simply life itself; by-products of his work." Intrigued again, Gilda crossed here arms, leaning forward, to get a better listen.
"Where does the 'soul' bit come from?" Her guest made move to respond, but quickly stopped herself, obtaining a look of ponderment. Nerved once again, Gilda remained silent, giving both parties time to think.
It was staggering to really grasp just how far their two worlds were apart. Gilda had always considered herself practical, and while trying her best to not have a stick up her ass about everything -hey!- she made it a point to remember the good times in life. Taking note of what the Flim-Flam Brothers were able to reveal to her, Pinkie seemed... 'homeless', was the word Gilda had settled on.
She obviously lied about where she was staying... come to think, did she even tell me why she was here? Shit, I need to start getting more than three hours of sleep at night. Either way, she spent the night with the Cakes, leverage or not, it's at the very least a small conclusion that I was right; she has been lying to me. Let's hope that's the only thing, The familiar paranoia of Pinkie's age crept back into her mind at the notion.
"You ever feel like... someone or something is- well, I don't want to say 'watching' you; that'd be to creepy- just, there with you? Not so much a Jiminy Cricket, but not a Fairy Godmother either." Gilda arched her brow for what felt like the thousandth time this year for her.
"... Yeah, you've lost me." Pinkie put her hands to her hips, and leaned to her side, trying to figure out the best way to describe her beliefs to Gilda.
"Ok, lemme try this... do you feel like... all you are, is all you can be?" Gilda's eye's squinted; challenging the question.
"What?..."
"Do you feel like you could be more than what your parents, teachers, motivational speaker- whatever- ever said you could be?" Gilda's eyes go downcast, nervous now by this line of questioning.
"I-I mean I guess..."
"Did you ever feel misrepresented; misunderstood, or just missed in general? Like a bad free-point throw?"
"Well sure... yeah... yeah, but everyone does now and agai-"
"Did you live life knowing you were so much more, but it seemed everything in your life was constructed solely to be an obstical between you and your dreams?"
"I-It felt that way; yeah- sometimes-"
"Like everything you hoped for and believed in meant nothing?" Eyes hardening with each passing question, Gilda willed herself to look Pinkie in the eye. Not bothered by the complacent smile that hadn't left her face. 'Stop it... why are you happy??'
"Yeah..."
"Meant nothing to your parents?" 'What is she-'
"Yeah."
"Other adult figures you know?" 'I-I don't have to answer th-'
"Yeah."
"Friends you made?" 'Dash...'
"Yes..."
"And after so many years of feeling like nothing, did it sometimes feel like your own future didn't even matter to you?" 'Stop it... stop pushing, kid-!
"Yes!" stop it... stop...
"You feel that fire in your tummy that fuels your emotions, your creativity, and just make ya wanna do something about it!?" stopitstopitstopitstopitstopitstopit!! In her rage Gilda sprung out of her chair, the force sending it to the floor.
"YES! The fuck do you want from me, kid!?" Slowly, but not un-noticeably, the smile that normally was sported on Pinkie's young face, snaked it's way onto the girl's lips.
"That's a soul Gilda. Right there." Flabbergasted, her previous passion soon became forgotten, and replaced with four different synonyms for 'confused'.
"What!? What are you talking about???"
"That passion! The one that drives people to learn and create. The same kind that helped the founding Fathers put together this country. The same passion that build the buildings in this town and aaallll across the world! The kind that makes millions of humans rally together for peace; for love." Reaching across from her, Pinkie reached for and clasped Gilda's left hand in her two smaller ones.
"It's what makes us human. It's what binds us; the one thing that exceeds religion, transcends science, makes silly issues like race, gender, social class, orientation and genetic make-up irrelevant; it unites us. Not everyone gets a chance to let themselves be free; cursing the earth to never know that persons ideas, and gifts this world could have had from them. That's what I believe in, Gilda. Anything is possible, and anyone has the potential to do or be anything. You me, and anyone that tried to hold us down, are missing out on the true beauty of this world."
The innocence in this kid... is too pure...
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Everything proceeded as (mostly) normal after that. Gilda gave an embarrassed nod of her head, accompanied by a shaky laugh and a non-committing 'oh, ok, I get it now'. Pinkie was asked the same questions Gilda had asked several others, several times before. There were prolonged periods of time where Gilda intentionally asked open-ended questions; prompting Pinkie to go off into long tangents about the subject at hand. Gilda did this for a couple reason.
First and foremost, she needed time to calm her mind and regroup her thoughts. What was meant from the opposite party to be inspirational and well meaning put several flavors of sour in Gildas' mouth. Second being was so she'd have time to mull over what she'd learned of the pink haired person in question.
Interesting thing about what Pinkie said to Gilda; most people would find comfort, or solace in those words: drawing from them strength or inspiration. She isn't wrong; Pinkie Pie. The ties to our hearts; or our beings, the meaning is the same- is a powerful thing. It's the kind of thing that could very well speak volumes to anyone, the message is one of faith- not in a God- but to ourselves; the human race. As Gilda has gathered, Pinkie has faced many hardships in her time, and almost anybody would be able to respect her strength for holding on to her views for so long, and so passionately. If you asked her, she'd tell you that her experiences only prove her beliefs even more so... but to a heart as frigged and hardened as Gilda Hof's, a cold bitterness is all that comes forth...
'That's a soul'... what do I take from that? What am I supposed to? 'Unify's races? Genders? Transcends science??? The fuck world is this kid living in? She think that cookie-cutter; Tumblr heart bait bullshit is enough to make it in this world? This pathological liar hasn't suffered; this social justice peon hasn't felt real pain! Looks like one of those fuckers too with that pink hair... everything about her is so bubbly- so loud it makes me SICK!
Pinkie was off in her own world, describing her opinions on this, and that; poor thing failing to realize the venom all but seeping out of the woman she was talking to.
What'd she sleep on a few benches? Walk a few miles? Did she leave home cause Daddy was a bit of a dick? That's not suffering... that's not struggle- I've been out there, I've seen; I've become the worse this species has to offer! I've suffered more in my Goddamned head the last few months- then I have my entire life; I'm the one that should be that strong- THINK I'm that strong!
As each poisonous thought crept in an out of Gilda's mind, Pinkie was talking all the same. Unaware of the daggers being glared, the hate being felt. Gilda knew why she was reacting so volatile to all of this, knew where this anger was coming from, but she wouldn't dare acknowledge it. Not yet, lest she lose her nerve for what was about to happen.
Oh she's pure; she's innocent alright. It's disgusting. Blind optimism like that shouldn't be allowed... shouldn't be rewarded... it needs to be crushed by the cruel wait of reality. It's needs to be purged by the cold, emptiness of life itself. Pinkie Pie I hope one day you realize I'm not doing this for Griffon's Cathouse; I'm doing this because you deserve it. 'Anything is possible, anyone can be anything', well you know what? I'm about to show you how dead right you are. 'True beauty of the world' fuck this world, and fuck you- you're body is mine.
-------------------------------Gilda------------------------------------
The decision was made. It was time. Fuck the facade, fuck the orientation questions, fuck why she's even here- this thing that tried to fuck with my head. and fill it up with her optimistic lies needs to be put in her place.
She was still rambling on about some worthless bullshit, didn't even notice me whip out the phone so as to text the Brothers to make their way up here.
"- It was a really interesting time for me, cause that's when I really started to question really who I-" I slammed my phone-holding hand on the table to shut her up.
"You know something?..." That unnerved her enough to sound slight scared.
"W-what's that?" She asked.
"I have really... really heard enough from you, Pie." The sudden harshness made her to start fidgeting in her seat like a scared little child. Good
"I-I'm sorry wha? Did I-I d-did I say or do something wrong?"
"Yes. Yes you did."
*SLAM*
In a moment of shock, the pink thing turned to the source of the noise. These two have the best timing I swear.
"Well what have we here, oh Brother of mine?"
"Why Dear Flim, t'would seem a delusional child with wide eyes! Oh look at the petrified naivete witch they doth shine." Pinkie entered full freak out mode and bolted from her seat, back crashing against my desk- couldn't take her eyes off them it would seem.
"Y-you two!? B-but you're-!"
"The two dudes with the bowler-looking hats? Yeah, I didn't tell you I knew them?"
"Huh!? What? WHY???" Taking the opportunity to instill even more fear, I put on the theatrics by slowly getting out of my chair and walking over to her.
"From the second you set foot in this town my eyes were on you. Not for any special reason, no, despite what you may have convinced yourself of, you are not the kind of special you think you are." I was beside her now. Hand placed eerily on her shoulder. "But it would seemed fate deemed you useful to me."
She spun around to face me, the motion was so quick she almost lost her footing, luckily (for me) she landed right in the arms of the Brothers; one at each side.
"L-let go of me! This isn't funny Gilda! I don't know if you've noticed but these kind of social experiments are very frowned upon on the internet these days!"
"Really?" I snidely asked, arms clasping behind my back. "Cause I'm having quite the laugh... but make no mistake, this is no prank... you're mine now." She must be smarter than I thought, because she seemed to understand the implications of what I said. She of course tried struggling a bit more, but despite how Applejack punked them out months prior (although she did catch them off guard), these two are professional killers; no pushovers by any means. To make sure she didn't try any nut shots, they took to one standing on each of her feet.
We hadn't done this before; the holding up thing. Usually we knocked them out, or something. Applejack was really the only one that got away. I could tell F&F were waiting for me do do something; but the telepathy is strong with us, so they let me do what I felt neccesary, besides... she wasn't going anywhere.
The situation was really setting in for her now; eyes were welling up, body was shaking, she made dead eye contact with me pleading for answers, or for us to let her go. I let her go on for a time before I stopped her.
"P-please j-just tell my why?? What did I do wrong- what do you want from me!? I didn't do anything to you! Please, please, I'm begging you let me go! I-I'll do whatev-"
"Oh the reason for this is very simple kid." I made sure to get up riiiight in her stupid mug, so there'd be no miscommunication. "I hate you." For some reason me saying that seemed to hurt her more than anything else at the moment.
"W-what!? T-that's horrible, why would you say that!? I never met you until yesterday, and I thought-"
"What? We were becoming friends?" She looked down.
"N-no nothing like that..." Eyes shot back up. "But we were getting along! We made conversation, we told each other our backstories, we hugged what was all of that!?"
"Oh gee, I wonder; it's not like 'acting' exists- oh wait YES IT FUCKING DOES! Don't be mad at me; I'm not the naive little shit that let herself get played."
"But you're not telling me why! I didn't do anything to deserve this! Let go of me-"
The contact was sudden, and the sound was satisfying. Her cheek was red and stinging from where I hit her, fist still clenching from the anger. That stupid, annoying voice was grating my fucking brain, with her fucking questions... 'why me, why me, we hugged!', fucking pathetic. She'd get her answer, she'd learn why, and she'd never make the mistake again.
I feel like it shocked her more than it hurt; she was just staring at the floor, makes sense, I made her head snap that way. The room fell quiet, I don't think the brothers expected that from me... hell, I didn't expect that from me. I could hear the tears from her reddening eyes pattering ever so slightly against the floor...
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Pinkie wasn't sure what hurt more, her head from the recent impact, or her heart. Here she thought she made a friend, she had shared more with Gilda than she'd ever had with anyone else she's come across on her adventure. If anything else, she would try her best not to let it show how much she felt hurt by this betrayal. Hopelessness set into her mind; ceasing any mental prayers that she'd been thinking. If nothing else, she mused, she hoped if they killed her, it was quick.
"I hate people like you, the kind that drown weak-minded idiots with their optimistic lies... see, you're the kind of person where- say someone is having a bad day; they're sad and crying, you walk up to them, and say some bullshit like: 'oh gee wiz, whatever is the matter with you?' they say, 'oh, you know, I'm just having a bad day', so you say: 'Well gosh, that's unfortunate, BUT just remember there are beautiful and pretty things AAALL around us!', RIGHT!?"
Pinkie couldn't find the strength to look Gilda in the eyes anymore. Everything said to her was nothing new than what hundreds of others tried to tell her before. Was everything I believed in... does it all really mean nothing? Why is having faith in humanity so looked down upon by so many people? Was I wrong!?... But there... there are good people in this world, I've met them, I've seen them- talked to them!... Lied to them all...
Pinkie cast glances upon the bowler hat men she'd met just a day prior. Eyes steeled and unwavering staring straight ahead. I can't... I-I don't know how to deal with this- cope witht his/ I can't! I can't; she could- I don't know how to what to do- what do I do!?
"Optimism like that is a disease- the kind that encourage everyone to be anything they want, without any repercussions. Do you know who I was? I was a regular kid, from a state you've never been to, from a town you've never heard of- and like almost nothing, I was able to enter a world that someone like you can't even comprehend is real." With all she could, Pinkie forced herself to make eye contact with Gilda.
Stop it please... she doesn't know what she's doing to me
"S-so... so what... some bad people hurt you, and you thought you would get all... all even Stevens with them? Or are you jus... are you just a greedy person, that would sell out their friends for a quarter, and a jawbreaker? I've met lot's of people Gilda..... maybe close to all of them, but despite what you might think about me; I know how hard life can be. You keep bringing up how I'm so naive this, unaware that- Gilda I never lied about being from Fresno- you said I can't comprehend how it can really be out here??? Gilda do you really think I only came here, let alone got here just by walking!?" What would she know about anything I've seen and done!? She's the one that could never understand- not me, not anything!- Pinkies train of thought was cut off by a punch to her stomach.
The implications of that question did not go over Gilda's head. 'For better or worse' she thought: she wouldn't dwell on it too much.
"You assume I presume to little; I can tell you've been around- that's what makes it more incredulous how you don't know the first thing about real life, or it's bullshit. The real world; the one I'm from eats little wide-eyed things like you," Another punch. " the world I'm from makes you disappear; the world you're going to will make sure you never see light again unless it's the pearly fuckin' gates!" Punctuated by another shot.
She's insane! This is all my fault, how could I be so stupid!? Why did I ever think I could pull a fast one on her? On anyone!? She was right, my luck did run out... I-I I'm locking up... no one's here to help me..... I can't
"*cough* B-but w-*wince* why!? Why would you involve yourself in the *coughcough* worst that human kind has to offer!? Hundreds of lives aren't given daily so you can profit on the dark parts of our species." Pinkie is no stranger to physical punishment, but this coppled with the lack of the other side of her mind was starting to prove too much. "Y-you bring shame to the very concept of what someone with a soul is! You don't really know do you? Why you do the things you do. You just look for any excuse to tear someone down and make money off of it!"
"What, don't like the cold hard truth? Literally any business ever, everywhere works with a third party that the public can never handle knowing about. This is the way shit works, and it always has! No change of heart, or protests from some bleeding heart kids changes anything. Just ask those salty-ass war vets, or hippies that walk around everywhere giving everyone a bad attitude. They fought a war they didn't believe in, or fought with all their hearts to bring the boys home. Truth is, the government was never going to listen to us. Never gonna listen to you! Same with us. We are deep within a small part of the social structure.; within something that's been in place for centuries now."
Pinkie shook her head; refusing to believe what was coming from Gilda's mouth. Who would't?
"But it's not right!" Using her right hand, Gilda stepped over to Pinkie, gripping her cheeks.
"Did you know there were Presidents before Washington? The amount of sacrifices that went into building America? The amount of money and blood it takes to keep this country alive and afloat? Do you know how much money it takes to shut up those politicians so they don't rat us out? How much of a cut of the things we do go to the government so they can keep both the country out of debt, and in war!?... So let me re-ask a question..... what the fuck do you believe in?" If nothing else- Gilda thought, I'm at least terrifying the crap out of her with this bullshit.
Seconds long pauses felt like hours. Minimal breathing could be heard as loud as a plane right now. Pinkie knew she had no grounds to believe Gilda; she shouldn't! She reluctantly acknowledged the fact that at the very least, Gilda would have know what she was talking about... no way some of that could be real... but there were truths in what she said; truths Pinkie couldn't really deny or counter-argue. She was about to give up hope completely... when she remembered something someone very important said to her once.
This world is cold, and as hard as a rock, but there are diamonds underneath it's surface. Though darkness submerges, it can never drown. Though light may fade, it will never go out. At times it may seem like the only thing that exists in this world is hate, but never forget, Pinkie, as long as someone believes in humanity, there is hope for it. Promise me ok? That you'll never stop believing. There are good people in this world, and they'll need you. Maud... my sister...
"I... I believe you... but I also believe in the good in people. Maybe not you... maybe not these two... but there are good people in this world. There are good people in business, on police forces, in office, in the streets, but it's the mean ones like you that try and kill any hope anyone could ever have of being better, just because they don't measure up to some kind of pecking order. Who up and decided one day for the whole worlds that trying to have some kind f hope or faith was a bad thing? Who said that believing that people can better themselves, and putting trust in others was a punchline? That if you have those kind of feelings your weak, lying, or 'don't know how the world works'? Let me ask you something, Gilda; who's really the weak one? The one who gives into the hardships of the world, and reaps it's sinful benefits, plunging their heart so deep into darkness they can never hope to recover- or, the one who goes through the toughest trials of life and can still walk out with their head held high, and continue to think of others? The ones who only care about themselves or the person that once in a while thinks of someone else? Me... or you?"
To which Gilda responded with the only answer she could. Connecting her fist in Pinkie's jaw and sending her crashing to the floor; unconscious.
'"Weak, strong'. You're the one knocked out." Observing the scenario play out; Flim and Flam had several thoughts swimming in their heads. One of course being how Gilda was able to hit Pinkie so hard it KO'd her hen it took a good fifteen minuets to subdue Applejack- truth be told they allowed Pinkie to fall to the floor so they wouldn't need to hold up the dead weight. Additionally it probably made Gilda to feel her image was far 'cooler'. Secondly they were losing patience and the will to contain their frustration. These breakdowns from the victims are nothing new, but the increasingly sociopathic displays from Gilda are , and it was starting to unnerve them even if slightly.
First and foremost however, they were getting very annoyed.
"Little Bird, we must make haste. Flim and myself do have other errands to run. Bodies to waste, an empire to run."
"Getting weak on the rhymes there, cronie." Gilda responded in turn without her eyes straying from Pinkie.
"As is our patience. Move your sadistic power play along."
"Look if both of ya are so pressed for time here's two options: either go grab the car and meet me outside, or fuck off and I'll do it myself- which is it going to be; cause I wanna enjoy hurting this twerp!" The brothers cast themselves a look at the other. Being brothers; twins at that, they held a quick, silent conversation- Flim a look of uncertainty, Flam's was a gaze of wanting for confirmation. In resolve, they were nigh identical, in planning they were of one mind, nothing they've ever done was without complete trust , confirmation, and faith in the other. It hadn't been lost on them that Gilda had been getting seemingly more and more deranged when it came to breaking in her new 'employees'.
Flam was usually of a more gut-feeling type of planner, Flim usually more analytical; Flam could plan more around how what the things they would do and the psychological aftermath it would have on themselves, their victims, and the public's reputation of them, Flim was the numbers and results. A perfect combo. Flam would in times like these, look to Flim for strength, or resolve. They were reminded of how held a feeling akin to fondness for Gilda, perhaps not the friends she thought she had made, but they cared about her to the point of being concerned. For herself, but more importantly how her recklessness had been affecting their business. Nothing negative; surprisingly, but these emotional lapses of her -Flim theorized anyway- would (could, Flam had rationalized, attempting to give Gilda some kind of benefit of the doubt) get her killed. Which is bad for business.. which is bad for Sombra... which is bad for them.
Flim's uncertainty was in the sake of whether or not they wold risk indulging this developing sociopath. Gilda was never good, but she was good to them,
it was an unspoken agreement to never get involved with personal matters, especially ones of the mind. Flam's gaze was in the hope that Flim would have calculated an answer for both of them. He was concerned if thy should cross that lone. If maybe they could get Gilda's mind set back on track, and get to the bottom of her continuous mental lapses. If they did cross that line however, they both knew: that even the smallest acts of kindness in this business; despite what Pinkie thought- can and will jeopardize your allies, the position and get you killed. Whether or not they would regret not showing more concern for Gilda on this day they would decide later, exhaling a conflicted sigh, Flim decided to answer for the both of them.
"Take... however long you need."
Knuckles crack. "Good. Get the fucking car." And out the door they went.
-----------------------------------------------Gilda--------------------------------------------------------
"You know something kid? I should really be thanking you. There were a few times I was starting to question myself... plenty of times I considered whether or not this life was for me. Whether I was going to far off the deep end, if I really agreed with the things I was doing, the lives I ruining, sometimes I even felt like quitting... but talking to you really inspired me, ya know? It reminded me that everything I'm doing has it's purpose, my life has it's destiny... thanks to Sombra I'm powerful enough a player to make it so that you, and the others at my place are necessary pieces to obtaining what I want."
Don't know why I was talking to this unconscience thing... pretty sure she can't hear me. Plus the angle of the punch sent her on her side, so now I was kinda talking to her back. How rude! It's true though, too many times I've been war with myself wondering, and 'hmm-ing' and 'hah-ing', going back and forth on the same bullshit over and over again. Now though I feel ready, for the first real time since all this started. The moral event horizon has been crossed; unless it's Flim and Flam everyone else is dead weight until proven otherwise... and I couldn't feel better about it if I wanted to.
"That shit about hope is nice if you're making a Disney movie- but it didn't help you anywhere else did it? Your abandonment issues with your Dad and sister might seem sad and inspiring to others, but if you ask me, it just seems like existence got lazy with you, and threw every 'happy-girl-with-a-dark-past' cliche it could. You're nothing... you hear me in there kid? Nothing!" In a mind set I can't really comprehend, I moved from my standing position, to take to flipping Pinkie on her back, then lowering myself so I could straddle her. The pressure must have stirred her from her slumber; she slowly opened her eyes, she didn't really seem to acknowledge where she was, most likely too disoriented.
"Ah... w--whaaaa......... Gila.... wh-wy are......" I grabbed her by the hair to silence her, and bring her closer.
"Let me tell you a story about 'hope' and what it gets you. MY family was an entire pack of douche-bags, and assholes, but there was one person I liked- hell could even say 'loved'; Grandma Hof- on my Dad's side. She was the epitome of badass. Three kids, raised them the best she could with a prick for a husband, a bitch of a daughter, two boys; the douchy one became my Dad, the other; really nice guy, she had to bury before she died. She endured hardships, oppression, and hell's that today's women can only imagine going through. She worked harder than any man I ever met, and survived a cancer that's usually terminal....... ever heard of Ovarian cancer? Well back in the early sixties she had it, and survived when every doctor told her she'd never see her kids grow up. She gave them all the middle finger and lived to see me."
My voice cracked a little on the last word... I hadn't thought of Grandma Hof in a long time; don't even think I mentioned her to you. Only one out of anyone in my family to actually inspire me, she made me feel special, loved, like I wasn't just a trophy on the wall. So many awesome memories; making food, watching movies, going places, laughs, the time we confided in each other...I never deserved her, not then, and never now. She died well before what happened with Cranky happened... in a twisted sense that's almost a good thing. I could never speak to her about my life if she knew what it had become... actually... I'm nothing like she wanted, in fact I'm the literal opposite. I think she would hate me.
"Her husband was an unappreciative son of a bitch that never took notice of anything wrong with her. Dad moved away from home to 'get away' but really it was so he could avoid responsibility for anything that happened with his parents. So she, she got sick later in life; idiot doctors, and an uncaring family equated to one day her being rushed to emergency... there was nothing they could do, there was... there was too much wrong with her. so after some months... s-she quietly passed away." Damn it don't cry... not now, not now you fucking bitch- you can't beat the shit out of this kid, then cry when you're explaining your Freudian excuse! I couldn't hold it back like I wanted to, several tears did escape my eyes, and landed on Pinkie's groggy face. You're pathetic, just like you've always been. Just a lonely little kid that should've been hugged more. Shut up...
"And all she... all she ever preached to me was how to never stop helping others, always do good things; this woman, who put literally EVERYTHING before herself... and what was her thanks. A Husband that didn't care, kids that abandoned responsibility, and nieces, and nephews that fought over her heirlooms like a pack of wild dogs the HOUR after the funeral. Caring about others gets you nowhere, and it gets you nothing, everyone always told me that was the point of 'doing good things' but tell that to her! To the others that suffer in the name 'being a good person'!... I learned that through her, so yeah I did turn to the darkest parts of this world. I don't regret it for a second either. You won't make me feel regret; no one will.
Surprised you never shot up a school like the rest of the sad youths in this country, you're just as starved for affection, and acknowledgement as the rest of them. I'm better than you want me think! I'm better than those rejects! I am you, you idiot. You'll never be okay with this. You'll go through the rest of your life questioning everything you ever do. Then you'll suspect Flim and Flam, then one day you'll wake up with blood on your hands that isn't yours, bodies you don't remember killing, and you'll still be crying to yourself, like you do every night, about how fucked up you are for falling in love with your teacher. No worse, and no better than anyone that's ever been on Dateline. Congratulations.
Everything I've ever done has been for nothing... Everything I'll ever do means nothing. One day I'll die or disappear, and everything I did will be forgotten by history. If these girls escaped me, they'll do everything they can to make sure my name is forgotten, Flim and Flam will erase any and all connection to me.
Exactly. You know, there is that gun you keep under your futon, you could always-
That's where your wrong. I'm not doing this for anything else anymore. Not for fame, recognition, not even money. Not the brothers- nobody... I'm only doing this for one person and one person only. Myself.
You will bring suffering to yourself, and everyone around you! You'l get yourself killed-
Then I'll die knowing that anything I did, I did it my way. Now get out of my head.
After finally winning that ongoing mental battle with myself, I could feel a weak hand resting on my cheek. I look downward to see Pinkie staring at me. Eyes half open, smile barely there. Why? Why waste a smile on me? After everything?...
"I'm... so sorry about her... I've lost family too. Friends; I know what it means to be... be sad... to feel like nothing... even be made to by your family, the ones that are supposed to care about you the most. But that's not everyone... and I think you know that still... somewhere in that cold heart of yours... you heart isn't one that is naturally hardened... it was made that way. There must be someone you still care about. One, or two... everyone cares about someone, even at their lowest... w-what happened... what happened to you, and me, isn't everyone's situation... there are good things in this world... but the ones who are hurt, like us, it's up to us to protect those things. That's all I meant."
The hand made small stroking motions... maybe... maybe she did understand more than I gave her credit for.
"I understand you... I can never forgive you... but I understand you."
I decided that I would allow this. I was ok with the knowledge that she did. It felt kind of...nice. I would let her be the only one to see this weaker side of me; because annoyance or not, understanding is understanding. I would allow this small moment of, I guess you could call it- tenderness. I would not however let it affect me. Not again. Not anymore.
I laid my hand upon hers, feeling the knuckles underneath the fingertips. With a smile sincere enough to almost make me worry, I smiled gently to her.
"Thank you." After which I brought my fist down, knocking her out again.
---<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<[-]>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<[-]>-<->-<->-<->-<->---
I awoke to find myself in the mental plane we had made for ourselves. A meditative state? Or have I awoken already?... My clothes haven't changed... where is Pinkie?
I turn around, looking everywhere there's space. Feeling a presence above, I turned my head up to see her descending from the non-existent ceiling. Too stunned to move I watched her slowly drop to the floor, until she lay next to me, her eyes were closed, she looked hurt! Who had done this??? As soon as she hit the floor, the area around us changed. Where once there was calming mist, and relaxing clouds and sky, had darkened, with ominous dark clouds, and swirling feelings of negativity filling my senses and the world around me.
I moved to my other's side and began to try and shake her awake.
"Pinkie! Pinkie! Wake up- a-are you ok!?" As soon as got my question out, she let out a yell of pain... someone had hurt her... and I wasn't there to help. "My God... what did they do to you? WHO HURT YOU!?" She stirred awake at my questions, rasing her eyes to me. It looked like it hurt...
"G-Gilda... turns out she was a meanin-kins after all."
"What!? Gilda!? B-but she- why..."
"I really got us into it this time, huh, Pinkamena?... I can't get us out of this..." She can't- it's not her fault, it can't be, I won't let her think that.
"Pinkie listen to me, this isn't your-"
"It is... don't worry... I'm not going to run away from this... last I remember she knocked us out, adn I think I could hear an engine turning........... she's not going to kill us... she has something else in mind I think." This was all too much... I couldn't take it, I all but collapsed onto her chest, crying out, for forgiveness, out of fear. I could feel her hand running through my hair.
"No worries... you can, can go back to sleep if you want. I'm just going to nap for a bit... when I wake up, I'll deal with the consequences of my actions." With that she slipped into unconsciousness.
With all the will power I could muster, I tried prying open Pinkie's eyes from here; her outside eyes. It took a lot, but I was able to get a visual of where we were at, even got the ears to respond, if a little low, and too much reverb.
"... -oing to put her across from Applejack. Make the two biggest trouble makers across from each other. Seems fitting, no?" Gilda... Somehow I swear you'll pay for this.
"This one proved much less trouble than the former. Our only concern is breaking this particular one into the business." Moustached bowler-hat guy... "You did confirm her age, yes? I remember that being a point of contention for you."
Age?... For what?
"O-of course I did! First thing! Why weren't you able to find out about that again?"
"Well given the fact that we had to trace her back to California it wasn't until shortly after our call in the car earlier, that we got anything from our contacts near the area. Family immigrated from somewhere; our guess is either overseas or the border; there does seem to be a decent chance she has some kind of Hispanic heritage in her. How many siblings did miss Pinkie Pie mention?"
"She only ever brought up a sister. There's not more is there?"
"Indeed. T'would appear she has two other sisters." What!? Oh God no, she can't know about them! Lord please, please don't let her hurt them...
"Two more?? Damn dude, they ain't kidding about latino's getting super busy!" Lowlife...
"Would you like there names?"
"Won't need them. Little Pie here's all alone anyway. On the off chance that one of, or hell, even all of her family came looking for her, if we needed to, no one will miss them. Just like no one will miss her. She's on her own for a reason, right? I highly doubt we have to worry about anyone coming for her. Just like no one's gonna come looking for the others- and even IF they did, we got eyes on them; we'll know their move before they do. It's aaaallll good in the hood."
No... well... at the very very VERY least, I don't have to worry about the family.
"But how will you coax her into doing this? There's no way she'll uphold the facade, she will break. Because appropriate age or not, a brothel is a brothel. Unless you're planning to get her to cooperate via injections, she could bring everything do-"
"She won't you can sure of that, Flim."
"Flam."
"MotherFU-!"
I closed off the connection; I'd heard all I needed to, and I was instantly regretting knowing even that... a brothel... they were going to use Pinkie for s... for... for.... No... they can't,, I won't let them. Pinkie Pie... forgive me.
"Pinkie. Are you awake?" She awoke again to the sound of my voice. I hardened myself for what I was about to do. She wouldn't be happy... but we have no choice.
"Mmm... P-Pinka-"
"We're out of time... I figured out what they want from us... Gilda is going to force us to work in a brothel..."
"A... a-a-a w-wh-what!? B-but that means... no...nononono NOT AG-"
"Calm down, please, please calm down, it's ok... it's going to be ok." She's crying... I hate seeing her cry. In an attempt to calm her down, I pulled her into my arms, trying to soothe her somehow.
'H-how? I can't- I could never, not after- Pinkamena, I don't know what to do!" The sobbing was growing more and more fiervce by the second. I assumed we'd be running out of time soon. I needed to do this fast.
"You won't... need to do anything." I was looking straight ahead, but out of my peripheral vision, I could make out her looking up at me.
"H-huh? What d'you mean?"
"I'll... take it from here." The silence that follows is deathly. I can feel a chill run up my spine.
"'You'll take it from'... no... n-no Pinkamena you can't-"
"I have to. You've suffered enough all of these year while I've stayed safe away in here. It's your turn to rest."
"Please... don't-"
"It's ok. I'll be ok. I know this is too much for you... speaking honestly, we both know you won't be able to make it through. Alone or ith both of us..."
"... But it... it'll be bad for you..." I lay her back down as softly as I could. Using my hand to close her eyes, and usher her to sleep.
"I know. Don't worry. I'll wake you up when it's over. Goodbye." After some minutes of rubbing her hair, and uttering hollow promise after promise, eventually she fell asleep. Once she was in a deep slumber, I stood up, as I watched her phase through the transparent floor.. As she got more and more out of sight, my background was changing.
As if it was cut with a cosmic knife, one giant half of our mental landscape was it's usual peaceful self, the other, remained the cloudy dark mess it became just moments ago.
I'm terrified... and I'm going to be alone, and uncomfortable, and in pain... but it's up to me... I can't... I can't run, and hide behind you anymore. For better or worse...
It's time to take my life back.
---<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<[-]>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<[-]>-<->-<->-<->-<->---
----------Gilda----------
Felt like it took forever to get back to the place, but we did eventually. Getting out of the car, I ordered the brothers to 'help' miss Knocked-out-Pie out of the car. She was still waking up, and considering we didn't need damaged goods, the two of them hauled her dead weight into The Griffon. Busting open the door, the first thing I made sure to do was check the main room; the place with the bar- the important place- to make sure my darling little workers were present and accounted for. With all the security, and threat of hurting the family, I already nw they wouldn't leave, but even so, only seeing Sparkle in there made me slightly nervous.
As was her personal status quo it seemed, she was reading, and had a mountain of books on either side of her, at her usual booth.
Damn Sparkle, you really know how to keep your life interesting...
The brothers were soon at the front of the lobby, setting Pinkie down in a chair by the front door. I didn't want anyone else listening in, so I ushered them outside so we could talk in private.
"Alright boys, you've done enough for today, I'll take it from here. Thanks again." They shared a glance at each other.
"You are certain? It certainly seems to have been a taxing day for you."
"No worries Flim, it's all good. Just gonna show her around, then retire to my quarters for the eve. Think I might keep the place closed tomorrow too, just to give me an extra breather. So yeah, you're free, go dig some grave or whatever it is you do." I was about to turn myself away to torment Twilight some before waking up Pinkie, when I was stopped by Flam, via hand to the shoulder.
"Little bird, we are not foreign to the stresses this life can bring. If at any moment you feel it over whelming, you can speak to either of us." That came out of nowhere, I didn't really know how to process it. How do I answer that? We aren't friends, just co-workers that get along well. A joke, yeah, that always goes over well.
"I mean, I'm not being fitted for a straight jacket yet, so-"
"You know what my brother means, Gilda. Unless you think us too daft not to notice, we've seen the change in you. We'd like to say since Applejack came into your life, but it's been developing since long before then. Look... if we are honest... we know this life was a mistake for both of us." My eyes widened at that sudden admission. I'm tripping or somethin' right? "Even for us, not a day goes by where one of us doesn't feel an inkling of regret for something we've done."
"Flim is right, Gilda. To be honest anything that has been poisoning your mind in recent times no matter how minimally it may be, is our fault."
"What the hell are you talking about? You do this for a living! Actually, I have a serious question for the two of you- what kind of right do you have to feel bad for the shit you've done? That's not how this wor-"
"Do you think we never once thought the same thing? It may not seem like it, but we came from hell to get to where we are. The rhyming, the colorful suits; it's a gimmick, a scare tactic. Flim and myself are very well read, but that came later. When your growing up in the projects of this disgusting state, you don't have much time to become very literate."
"Tch, 'the projects', you two? There's no way-" Now it was Flim's turn to step in, he advanced slowly on me, I almost backed up out of instinct.
"Color of the skin Gilda, is that why? Our parents were drunks... druggies; downright fiends. There's a photo Flam and I keep in our wallets... would you like to see it?"
Before I got a chance to answer, Flam busted out the wallet, and flashed me said picture. The sight gave me goosebumps like nothing else.
"Quite a sight isn't it? I couldn't tell you if mother was simply passed out or not, but I can tell you how heavy an AK with the safety on feels before you're seven." Good God... "That's Flim holding it. I'm the one holding the teddy bears. On our fifth birthday's, we were given one bear each by our beloved Grandmother. Father's mother to be exact... two days later Father hollowed them out so he could hide his drugs if a raid, or break in happened. I can't recall what they were, but I can tell you he made them himself."
"Flam and I did whatever we could to get out of there, just like anyone else would have tried to do. We met the right type of wrong people, moved up the ranks like lighting... I believe... what was it brother of mine? Fifteen."
"Correct brother. We were fifteen when we met Sombra; a record, we were told. For a certain area of Nevada anyway."
"Jesus..." I mean I assumed they must've gone through some shit but, actually hearing it from them is something else entirely.
"We've taken life. Of those that deserved it, and those that didn't- you ever kill someone? Held a gun, felt a trigger? Every night I see blood flash through my mind, I hear screams when I'm alone, I look at the materiel possessions I've obtained thanks to it, and I see nothing. I feel nothing. Hollywood, books, media, those writing sites on the internet; they paint us and others like us out like we are all sadistic monsters, or tough bad asses that enjoy smashing brain matter onto walls, that we love killing to rat-pack music; they glamorize our lifestyle with nice cars, beautiful women, unlimited power flashy suits, tragic love stories- lies! You are a fan of multiple television shows, right? Animes, video games, and searching your internet history tells us you look up fanfiction now and again."
"Wait you guys, fucking WHAT!?"
"There's a story you like for that Steven Universe fandom, and several others across the web with similar story lines... the one where they're all a drug ruining family, where 'oh sure it's dangerous, but look how sexy and badass they are?' Where everybody cares and loves each other and is one-hundred percent loyal to each other? Where nothing goes wrong, but when it does, there's always a way out because they other fight their way out with the power of family, maybe someone only gets shot, then they live happily ever after? Like in the movies? Like the video games?"
"Look man I get it, no one can ever, and probably shouldn't capture this way of life accurately but it's all just interpretation of-"
"It makes us sick! You can never trust everyone, sometimes no one! Betrayals are daily, beatings, and live burials aren't just a stunt, it's to send messages, scare people! We are not good people!"
"Calm down, dude- who are you talking about!?" I've never see either of them react this way, I was starting to get scared. It doesn't help that Flim was just standing there, confirming to me that this isn't all one-sided.
"US! Gangsters, mobsters; we are killers, we take and murder without discrimination there is no, and has NEVER been ANY 'honor', or 'glamour' in what we do! The family, the dinners, the cliche traditions of it all- that's such a small almost non-existent part of it! Of something bigger! Something sinister and horrible, that makes you question the very fabric of human nature! You are initiated by killing someone that a boss you haven't met yet specified, you have to smuggle drugs in objects, in BODIES. Oh sure, some never do those things because it would break their precious 'codes of honor', well miss, not us. We've done every horrible thing you could think of for Sombra. Some funny dialogue, the flashy shirts, should never make up for the fact that a killer is a killer. If we go down, they won't care about our stories, where we came from or what ever poster worthy inner-monologues we had- they'll see us for what we are. Killers. And they'll kill us as such... I-it's insane to think how differently you see this world, living in our metaphorical one. Cause nothings changed, not really, but you see things. The looks, the strings on the puppets, sooner or later you ask yourself how you never saw it? Then it goes deeper, you start to ponder on how the higher ups of this world let it exist? How they can silently encourage it, knowing that hundreds of people disappear by the day?"
Suddenly I feel my shirt grabbed, and I'm pulled forward, almost nose to nose with him.
"You start to wonder: 'who could come up with something so evil! Who could live this life style and kill without a second glance!?' And there are times I enjoy it, Gilda! A-and I feel sick- so so sick!"
"O-ok, man, I understand, just chill, take a sec, and-"
"You can never understand! Look at what we do! Look at what we've done; look at what for you- we were going to do to you! We would have killed you, don't ever forget that! We aren't your friends. Not out of not wanting to, but we can't be, we-"
"FLAM. Enough." The more stoic of the two set a firm hand on Flam's shoulder, and set him with a commanding stare. Almost instantly Flam's look changed when he turned to his brother. He snapped his head back to my freaked out expression, and looked down to where his hands were, and roughly shoved me to the side- fucker, I fell on the ground cause of that!
"Little Bird, everything my dear brother has said is one-hundred percent factual. Though I may appear to be the more level headed one in this current scenario, do not think for a second that the memories of our shared past effects me any less." This was a lot to take in. No words seemed appropriate of an response, so I just nodded at the two of them. Flim and his brother then turned to make their way back to the car, but not before Flam turned back around again to address me a final time.
"Don't lose your humanity, Gilda. We've seen the ones that have. Their dark, soulless eyes. Unflinching resolve to pull the trigger, the sadistic satisfaction they gain from their deeds. We can't get either you or ourselves out of this life, but we can help each other through it. Farewell for now."
Then away they went off into the early afternoon light. It's weird to feel bad for such two horrible dudes, but as weird as the thought seemed to me, they were people once too. I picked myself up, and dusted the clothes off. Everything they said was true, there was practically nothing I could deny. There was also however nothing that was forcing me to dwell on it too much. Like I feel for them I really do, and yeah it's probs Stockholm Syndrome or some shit, but I like those two. Like them, but not enough to let them discourage me. I have a plan, and I'll follow through with it no matter what happens. I made that decision today, and I'm not going back on it. I felt a little bad about triggering Flam, and in a way, I'm grateful from what I've learned from them, and honestly to this day I see some things very different now, and am grateful to them... but not that much.
I walked back inside The Griffon, pretending like nothing happened, I was getting pretty good at that. I made my way to Pinkie's chair, checking her current awake-ness. Luckily for me she seemed at least responsive now.
"Well good morning, Starshine! Earth says hello!" A groan escaped her lips, she seemed to be struggling to keep her eyes open. Dammit, she's probably got a minor case of being concussed. "Welcome to your new home, The Griffon!"
She raised her head up and looked around, stretching her arms and legs out, most likely trying to relieve the stiffness that undoubtedly set into her joints.
"Griffon's Cathouse to be exact; so I as you can see, I got you that job after all! Probably not what you expected, but I think you'll find it to be very profitable!" She should be awake enough some to give some kind of response. Preferably one of the panicky kind.
"... Oh..."
'Oh'?... That's fucking it??? Just disorientation, play it cool, play it creepy.
"A-as I'm sure your aware, Pinkie, you'll have a very physically demanding job. Don't really get any 'day off' if you know what-"
"I know what Griffon's Cathouse is, Gilda. I know what a Cathouse is, and I can guess why you brought me here."
"... Fuck, then, alright, get up kid. I'll show you around." Not sure if she was being sarcastic or lethargic, but she took her time getting up before following me into the main room. "Ok, this is the 'hang-out' room I calls it, people can get something to drink, get some food, I got the WWE Network, it's super chill."
I turned to Pinkie to gauge her reaction, and it was now for the first time since bringing her here, I saw her eyes again. They were dark again... not sure if it holds any significance, but if it keeps her from being a pain in the ass, I didn't really care.
"Further down the hall from the lobby we were just in, is where the girls stay. I fixed up a cozy little cot in the back. I'm a fair boss, so I'll -supervised of course- take you out one day to get some personal decorations for the room. It is your living space after all, it should look however you deem comfortable."
"..." Weird... usually I'm being chewed out on the hypocrisy or whatever of that privilege I give them. She just looks dead. Hmm... I'll dig more into that tomorrow, I'm fuckin' tired.
"Place is closed today. 'Tis the 'Lord's Day' after all. Gonna keep it closed tomorrow too, so that'll give you plenty of time to get settled in. Might even meet some of your coworkers. They usually hang out in here. See? It's a nice little crew up here; you get a nice place to crash, quality benefits, I mean sure your selling your body for me, but it's a pretty fair trade, no?"
"..."
"Kid you better stop giving me that silent bullshit before I smack your head around again."
"..." I raised my hand in the backhand position, trying to get her to flinch. She looked me dead in the eyes, and I saw nothing. A cold, steel nothing in her eyes. She wasn't afraid of the violence.
"..."
Fine. I'll think of something else.
"Your room's down the hall, on your right whenever you want. Need anything ask one of them. Bug me, and I beat you, Pinkie." From there I stormed back to my office. Ok kid, you may not have much in this world, probably don't care about half your family, but once you realize I know who the Cakes are, then you'll-
"Gilda." Now she Goddamn speaks...
"What?" I addressed without turning around.
"My name... is Pinkamena...." So she's being honest with me now. Victory was mine with her at last. She couldn't see, but I didn't care, I let myself have a smirk at that.
"Well then 'Pinkamena'... welcome home."
I then proceeded to my couch in my office and passed the fuck out.
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