Author's Notes:

Do not adjust your monitors... I have indeed updated again.

It's a battle of the wits this time! A battle we've seen before, but now... well, I tried something a little different with it. Personally, real talk, I'm half-eh, half-alright about this chapter. I still like it, quite a lot, but... I think I might've hit my peak with Applejack *Insert scared Fluttershy face here*. Nonetheless, thanks for the support guys! Here's the next installment of Griffon's Cathouse. Also... I wrote Pinkie in a... way... kinda nervous about it, because I was part experimenting, part, just trying to write her good, also wanting to write her how I'd always wanted to. I have my own little thoughts, and head-cannons about her, like everyone else, so I tried to have some fun with her... in my own twisted way. Let me know what you think! Out of all my chapters, this is the one I'm most anxious about. PS: Mega-ass chapter (biggest so far) as a gift from me, for all of my various delays. Posting this at 3 AM my time... let me know of any mistakes, and I'll fix them... as soon as I wake up ^_^

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It is night as she enters the city, out of view from anyone that could suspect anything. She has walked for days now; clothes torn, filthy, jacket riddled with holes, and patches covering up old ones, curly hair a tangled mess. The bottoms of her feet burn something terrible, her back aches with every step, shoulders sore from the weighty backpack strewn on them.

Yet her smile never wavered for a second.

For though she was by herself, she was not truly alone. She has a friend; a special friend. to accompany her through every moment of her journey. Through thick and thin, through pain and what mild pleasure there is, she is there. For years they have been together, attached at the hip, relatively speaking.

Excitement fills the optimistic drifter, as she nears the city's entrance. 'A new place to make home for a while!', she thought. 'Hope we can actually make this one last for a while...' she wishes.

'We will,' her friend assures, 'it's all a matter of meeting the right people, and convincing them to help us.'

The prospect of meeting new people, potentially making a friend or two, gives the young woman a new found spring in her step , that carries her the rest of the way, until she is finally in the town, of Carson City. 'Not too big, but not all that small I guess.' she reasons. 'My tummy's rather rumbly... can we stop for some food?', she all but begs.

'I suppose so. Provided 'food', isn't just an excuse to gorge out on pan dulce again...', she chastises.

"You know you loved it! I wasn't going to anyway.", she "promises".

Minutes roll by as she treads across the street, kicking random rocks, and trash as she comes across it, trying to pass the time until she found a suitable establishment for dining. And she did. At the end of a plain old street, at a corner that looks like any other, there sat a quaint little restaurant that peaked the pairs interest. Well... one in particular, anyway.

'Hmm... Sugar-Cube Corner huh? That place looks nice, can we go in!?', the young woman pleaded.

'I guess... wait, that place looks like it specializes in deserts, not food food!'

'You didn't say anything about donuts and cupcakes!', she loop-holed.

Her companion sighs, not in exasperation, but in a fond nature. She should have know that her friend would find some loop-hole around the 'no-sweets' policy.

'I suppose I didn't, did I? Very well then, Pinkie. Lead the way.'

'Hee hee, thanks!'

And so they entered the restaurant. Those she met while inside, and two peculiar looking twins she would encounter a few weeks from then would, like several before her, warp her young life forever...

***********************************Present Time***************************************

A familiar sound rang from the oak door, (or whatever the hell they make doors out of), the unmistakable jingle of 'shave-and-a-haircut'. I answered with an in time 'come in', and was greeted by... her.

"Hey, welcome to the office, name's-"

Before I could finish my introduction, the door had opened, shut, and a flash of pure pink filled my vision. In what felt like a mere second, I was face-to-face with the biggest smile I'd ever seen on a woman, and PINK hair... the scary part is, it didn't look dyed.

"Uh... hi, n-name's Gil-" I reached out my hand to shake, I barely got an inch out, and she had grasped my hand in both of hers, shaking it almost violently!

"Hidey-ho, I'm Pinkie Pie! I'm new in town, can you help me out? I heard you can help me out! I've had just the hardest time getting work since I got here a week, four days and twelve hours ago! I've been looking aaalllll day and night for someplace to hire me, cause if I can't work I can't get money, and if I can't get money I can't eat, and if I can't eat, I'll die!"

"... Uh-"

"And if I die, I can't eat Häagen-Dazs!!"

"That would su-"

"So I walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked-" *INHALE* "- and walked around a lot, until I met two really cool Vaudeville looking guys in Bowler hats, and they recommended someone named 'Gilda Hof', one of them even had a cool mustache!-"

Holy shit, this train has no brakes! At least she let go of my hand now... which I noticed something odd about, her hands were strangely... rough; they felt calloused, and she had a pretty strong grip to her. She's worked hard before-

"-so I looked around, and around, but I couldn't find the place! I tried checking for your name on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Yellowpages, Yelp, Snapchat, Youtube, Dailymotion, Reddit, Vine, even Google plus! Course that last one's a little silly though."

"Why's that?"

"NO ONE uses Google plus!"

Well at least now I know she's not stupid. She's talks so fast, but articulates so well! I haven't even had a chance to examine her wardrobe!-

"So after looking around for about an hour, twenty-three minutes, and forty-two seconds, I hit up the most adorable little bakery a few block away from here; "Sugar Cube Corner", ever been there?"

I have actually, it's run by this older couple the Cakes; Carrot, and Cup respectively. Again, what the fuck with the names? Doesn't matter though, their pastries are BOMB... What? Any woman -no- female, in any shape or form, tells you they don't like sweets, is a Goddamn liar.

This 'Pinkie Pie' sure looks like the type with a sweet-tooth. She's a friendly little tyke too, making small talk, wanting to learn about the one she's talking too without sounding too pushy or personal, she sounds one-hundred percent genuine about it too. Hmm... 'friendly'...

"Yeah, I have. That's the place run by Car-"

"-rot and Cup, yep! I met them about a day after I came here, and I started making the restaurant my regular hang-out spot. I stopped by today, asking if they'd heard of you, they had, and point me in the right direction, so here I am! Have you met them before? Ohmigosh, they are the nicest people! *sigh* If only they could afford employee's..."

The end of that sentence sounded strangely... melancholic, partnered perfectly with a tiny frown on her lips, and the first breaking of eye contact. I guess they must have hit it off pretty well. They're aight; the Cakes. I wouldn't hangout with them for a first choice, but they're cool all the same I guess. 'Afford employee's'? I knew it was a momma n' poppa's kinda joint, but damn, they take the cake.

HA!

"Oh well, c'est la vie right? They did point me in your direction though, so here I am!" Well, she perked back the fuck up fast, holy shit...

"Interesting story you got there kid... how's bout we get this interview process underway, yeah? You have indeed found who you're looking for."

"Okie-doki-loki!" And plop into the chair she went, legs hooking over and under each other, Indian-style. I gotta wonder if she goes through all of her interviews like this? That would explain her bad luck... actually, know what? Fuck it, Im'ma ask her about that.

"Well, right off the bat, I gotta ask you... uh..."

"Pinkie Pie!"

"Yeah... well, to put it in a word, you're very..." My god, her eyes... her crystal blue eyes, they're staring at me all huge, and expectantly, big smile still on her face... she's piercing my soul man! "Upbeat. I was curious, if... you always approach interviews like this?" Hope that didn't sound to rude. Guess not, cause next thing I know she's giggling like I just told a funny.

"Of course not silly, I'd never hold down a job if I did that! Mama Pie always told me; she said: 'Pinkie, there's a time and a place for everything, and the workplace ain't one of them. The key of life is moderation, especially for someone like you.' Not too sure what that last part means, but it sure helped me take things like this seriously." Ouch... "And those nice bowler-boys said you're pretty laid back about this stuff, so I decided, be laid back!"

"This is... is laid back?"

"You know something, my relatives used to ask the same thing!"

"Uh huh... so... how did they describe me to you exactly...?"

"Well, the one with the mustache said that you're a brutish, headstrong, stubborn, proud, self-loathing slob, and the baby-face one described you as a vain, unappreciative, slave-driver... but I don't get that vibe from you at all!"

Fuck you guys... seriously.

"Eh ha ha... yeah, well, uh... w-we're pals so, you know how that goes; bust each other's balls once in a while..." I know someone who's getting stiffed on payment this month... After that shaky, blow-off response, Pinkie gave me one of her own.

"Kinda sorta maybe I do I guess." The hell, was that even a proper sentence? I didn't even hear a comma in that. " My friends we're always super duper sweet! Always saying hi and... ... ... well, ya' know!" No. No I don't... this lady and I are in two completely different worlds... can't let her know that though.

"Well either way, we go back a long ways, so we're comfortable around each other enough to give each other shit like that. Having friends for a long time does that to you." It does doesn't it... Kinda have grown fond of those two... eh. Probably some weird form of Stockholm Syndrome...

"That's awesome! You three must be good friends!"

"Hm... Yeah, guess we are..." This was starting to get a little uncomfortable, I needed to get back on track. "A-anyway, ready to get this started, miss... Pie?"

"Yup-yup!" Down the legs went, hands following them into her lap.

Now that I finally had a moment or two to relax a bit, I could take in her attire... don't know why you care so much about it...

That pink hair of hers was CURLY, like, do you know who Buzz Osbourne is?... Ok, Google him, see his hair? Yeah, fuck that, that's got nothing on her; it's BRIGHT PINK! She's dressed professionally at least: she's sporting one of those sweater top things. You know, the ones that are called "sweaters" but their not all big and puffy? Plus a (freshly pressed if I'm not mistaken) pair of black slacks. That hair of hers was fashioned in a way that looked free, yet tame; the curls flowed however they wanted, yet stayed contained at the same time.

... You know the more women I meet, the more poetic I get about this kinda shit...

She had on a slightly worn out pair of loafers, I swear I saw a hole on the front-

"Yeah, the shoes are a little old, but they were all I had on hand at the moment." The fuck, how did she!-

"U-uh, wha?..."

"You we're staring at me for a little while, then spaced out looking at my loafy-loafs!" She kicked her legs up slightly to emphasize said shoes.

"S-sorry, that happens to me someti-... 'Loafy... loafs'?..." I instantly regretted asking that...

"Yep! That's what Granny Pie called them when she handed them down to me." She giggled to herself. "My Gran said the funniest things sometimes! 'Loafy-loafs', 'Spuny-sponge', 'bat-the-bath', oh oh! She had the cutest little nickname for me when I was a teeny tiny pie!"

Oh joy, I really want to know-

"She used to call me her little 'himar aboosh'. *sigh*... ... I have absolutely no idea what it means, but isn't it adorable?" She had the biggest smile on her face, it was enough to make me not want to completely laugh at her little memory. Oh... how do I resist that! The big blue eyes, pearly whites she's, she's just so fuckin'... fuckin'...

"Yeah... it's very... cute"

That's it! Cute!... oh, fuck me...

"I always thought so too! Did your grannies and grampies have cutesy names for you too?"

Shit, shit, this is getting personal way to fast... ok... just give her a short answer, and get focus back on the subject here...

"No... no not, not really... not at all actually, I was always just Gilda. To my parents, relatives, cousins, whatever, just... Gilda... nothing more, nothing less..." That... sounded sadder than I thought it would.

"Aww..." She gave me a look of... pity?

"Whatchu 'aww-ing' about?..."

"You sounded so sad as you said that..."

... did I?...

"W-well, whatever, that's not important right now." I waved my hand, as a way to clear the air and my own head. "We got an interview to do. You still want to do that, right?" I added some ice to the end of that question, hoping to deter her from pursuing the subject.

"Yup-yup! Ask away Gil-Gil!" 'Gil-Gil'.... yeah, that is not happening. Cuteness has officially worn off.

"Gilda, will do fine, miss Pie. Now then, first and foremost-" Well look at me, actin' all uptight and bossy... "-where are you from? Gonna go out on a leap and guess that you aren't from around here."

"Yyyyep! How'd ya guess?" I couldn't help but look at her like if just asked me if Half-Life 3 is confirmed.

"..Very. Lucky. Assumption..." Her hand went up to her mouth.

"Oh, wow!... You're goooood." Is she playing me?... She has to be, no one is this... innocent. Every time she's opened her mouth, something positive has come out of it-heh-, and when she's not talking, her fingers are interlocked in her lap, smile on her plump little lips, and I swear she bounces ever so slightly, as she awaits my next response...

"... Where you from Pinkie?"

"I come from the far far away land of Fresno, California!!" a-ptcha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Bull-fucking-shit!

"*snort* Pardon me... but did you say... Fresno?..." She apparently didn't catch on to the fact that my sides were separating right in front of her, and just nodded eagerly.

"That's right! Grew up on a tiny farm in the middle of nowhere, off Shaw street! Oh, it was sooooo pretty! Especially at sunset when-"

Yeah, I kinda tuned her out after that. Kept goin' on and on about how pretty it looked, how friendly the animals were, how cool their bosses were, how strict but 'cool' her parents were, her sisters, everything in general with her seemed... nice. ... Kinda... too nice sounding I thought. I ain't ever stepped foot on a farm, ranch, whatever (apparently there IS a difference...), but from what Applejack told me, it's some hard-knox shit. Plus I mean, come on... it's FRESNO, who the fuck loves that town!? To be fair though, she did use other adjectives to describe her little home. She occasionally said something was, 'pretty', 'cute', and occasionally mentioned how the work was 'super-duper-hard'.

Ok, so I didn't exactly tune her out as I thought about all of this, shut up. As I listened to her little tangent, it got me thinking; about her, and her story so far. I proposed myself a hypothesis: there's loving your work, your family, and anything else pertaining to that Behind The Music type of shit. Everyone/anyone (can) feel(s) that; from the retired seniors to the growing adolescents, from the heir to the field worker, from the animator to the graffiti artist, from the stadium band that's paid their dues to the DIY garage band just getting started, from Columbia to Rapture, I understand, and even respect, that much.

Then there's the woman in front of me; Pinkie Pie, who, at this point, is going on and on about her 'life on the farm' and is glorifying it, to the point of a grandeur type of quality, or straight up denial. In conclusion, she's either being completely honest; maybe she does have pretty fond memories, or if they're not all bad, she just remembers the good, as a way to maintain a positive existence, which would also explain her rough hands. In which case, fine, I can respect that. OR the alternative... she's completely full of shit.

I aims to find out.

Holy shit, I just sounded really really smart right there!

"-then Maud says: 'Pinkie, I don't think chickens are supposed to bend like that.', and I was all like-"

"I got it." I authoritized as I held my hand up... what? 'Authoritized' is toats a word. "Really, it sounds... absolutely..." There are those eyes again of hers! "uh... captivating..."

"Yup-yup! Anything else ya wanna know?" Shaking my head slightly to get my thoughts in order, I gave her a nod.

"Yeah, yeah. This may seem a tad pointless-" but could provide valuable info "-but what kind of work experience do you have under your belt?" I half expected her to actually check under her belt.

"Oh I've done just about everything!" Fuck! "I've done manual labor, woman-ual labor, animal labor, labor in the kitchen, labor outside the kitchen-" And so on and so on... ugh... she did mention 'kitchen work', and considering how she -must've- wanted that job at Sugarcube, I guess she's got some kinda culinary expertise. Huh. I could use a head chef at the Griffon. Everyone there just kinda does whatever. Heh... a woman who can possibly cook, and fuck. I think I might have hit the jackpot this time... Ugh...

Oh God, I just thought about Pinkie at the Griffon... I feel so... why do I feel kinda... sick in the stomach? Flim and Flam did send her to me afterall, so I shouldn't really have any qualms over recruiting her. Maybe it's because-

"-but easily my favorite part of volunteering at the school fair was the face painting! It was such a blast painting different designs and cute little creatures all day. Painting the kids was fun too!"

-there's no Goddamn way she's legal. By legal I mean of course eighteen.

Eighteen... that magic little number. Songs have been written about it; how it's either the best time of their life, or how it sucks ass. Studies and stories on the mental condition of people's lives at said age have been documented, written, and explored. 'Lovers' or employers, have become rapists if a certain someone isn't that infamous age; be it statutory or otherwise. People (terrible people most of the time mind you) have been put away, killed, or raped themselves, if one person lies about their age, or if the two (or more if they're... weird) go about passionate activities in secret.

Then there's me... I'd be fucked. I couldn't risk it, I had to know if she was the age. Giving her a quick once over -she's still going by the way- I evaluated her assets. Cute, adorable, kawaii, all that shit, is about the only way I can describe this... 'woman?' I couldn't really tell if she was wearing any makeup, or if that creamy skin tone of hers was natural. Her eyes are big and inviting, her smile is flawless and pearly, and to top it off... she's got the most poke-able button-nose I've ever seen. Dammit... I can't tell!

"- so I asked, 'D-I-D? What is that, a dance move?', and Dr. Crane said-"

Fuck, I'm totally checking out this possibly underage woman-girl, whatever! I... I-I don't want to be a rapist, it's such an ugly label... despicable label- for terrible people!!... Ha, and like I'm not? I'm all but a murderer and a... rapist ugh... I could never live with my self if she... if I sold the body of an underage girl to some man or woman- NO... no, just- just calm down, get your thoughts coherent, and send her away. It's that easy! Just say 'sorry, but I can't help you' and *poof* she's gone! ... but...

I could feel myself want to throw up from thinking up all this shit, bleach my brain, ANYTHING! Anything to get these weird little thoughts about Pinkie Pie that were slowly... seeming more and more... beneficial.

Damn it all... she'd... she'd be... perfect... Certain customers have a particularly... 'special' interest, in girls like her... they like them young: looking young, acting young... sounding young... Every once in a while, I get those few customers who are looking for someone who asks for a more 'cute', 'adorable', and 'fun', not so much the womanly, or even busty, smoky eye-shadow type I mostly have. Pinkie would be a true one of a kind at the Griffon, a league of her own! I'd make some real cash off of miss Pie.

"- really reminds me of my auntie Marshmallow's special tea she always made me, put me right to sleep! For some reason though, whenever I woke up, I always felt really-"

"How old are you, Pinkie." I didn't ask it as a question. For the second time since stepping foot in my office, her smile left her face, and her eyes widened for a split second, clearly she wasn't expecting that.

"E-ex-cuze me?"

"How old are you? Very important piece of information to know ya see, can't exactly be sending minors out into the working world, all impromptu like this, on a legal level, things could potentially go messy. So with that in mind; your age, I want it. Don't even think of attempting to lie to me, cause I'll know."

I think my underage worries may just be right; look at how she's fidgeting.

She was too. Not like on a tweaking level, but she was shifting around very uncomfortably. She could ring me in a lot of dough... but I will not take the risk of taking the title of statutory rapist to my grave.

The little silence between us lasted about three seconds, but in situations like this, that can feel like an eternity.

Hence most of my monologues.

"I'm twenty-two!" I knew she'd crumble- wait, WHAT! "Yep, twenty-two, that's me! Born in, uh... ninety-two. Eeyup-yup!"

No way... no fucking way she's twe- no way she's eighteen let alone twenty! She's gotta be screwin' with me... Fuck it, I'm not risking it, she's outta here.

"*sigh* Ok kid, I'm done playing this game with you." Her eyes went as wide as I'd seen them yet, as soon as I declared that.

"Game? What game? We're having a strangely intense interview, not playing a game silly!" Oh no, no cutely weaseling your way out of this one.

"STOP, just-... just stop, ok? You're not fooling anyone Pie, I can see straight through you." My sudden hostility shook her up I think, she started to look scared.

"S-see straight through what? I-I haven't been lying to you if that's what-" At this point, I stood up harshly, hands slammed to the mahogany.

"Yes. Yes you have, Pie, there's no way in hell you're eighteen, no one who... acts like you do, could be an adult."

-----------------------------------------------------------------Pinkie...------------------------------------------------------

'No one who...acts like you do could be an adult'...Why?... Why?? Every single time, I always get interrogated about this. Why??? I'm just being myself! I-I-

It's most likely attributed to the fact that you're a horrible liar. I mean, Fresno? Really?

Oh, go away conscience! I've dug my self in super big hole here, and I need to climb out of it lickety-split!

Another glaring flaw was your saint-worthy portrayal of home. Do you actually remember it everbeing sunny? Ugh, and then you told that story about Maud and the chickens...

Hey, it shined! Like... twice... I-I think. And she wasn't even listening when I got to that, so there! Now are you gonna help, or keep being a meanie!?

I'm going to be mean. I warned you as far back as Greenbay, you're skills were slipping up, and your little fibs were catching up with you faster. I always said, plan ahead, never use the same story more than twice, and never, nevergive yourself an age over twenty. But nooo, what'd you say?-

Stop it! You're going to give me a headache, I NEED this place to last a while, I'm tired of running around so much! Now please, preeeeety please with a strawberry shortcake on top, help me out!

...*sigh*... you're only mad because I'm right and you know it... Pinkie, I'm only saying this so you don't get yourself hurt...

...

... The ID. It's still in your wallet right?...

'ID'?... Oh, ooohhhhh you're right! Thanks a ton conscience!

*sigh* I guess it's a good thing you ... 'made that friend' at the DMV, but next time, you're using a different age. And 'conscience' is not my name, and you know it. I told you, you can call me-

No time; POV shift!!

Wha-

----------------------------------------------------------Uh...Gilda-----------------------------------------

She sat there, staring through me, for like, ten seconds. Was she in thought? Dying on the inside? Trying to come with, what for sure will be, another lie? To this day, I'm not one-hundred percent sure what goes on in this woman's head... not sure I want to honestly-

"Oh! Duh how could I forget!?"

"Forget... what?" My eyes darted side to side as I asked that.

"I got proof- MY ID! Right-" She reached for her back pocket. "in-" Pulled out an Invader Zim wallet... because of course. "here!" and slapped a photo ID of her right in my face.

Not literally, moron. She did whip it out pretty fast though.

...

Oh, Goddammit!

"What the hell is this, Pie?"

"My photo ID! Got my age on it and everything, it even has my eye color!" I took the card from her, plopping back down on the chair in a huff, fully ready to debunk the shit out of it, but...

Huh... well I'll be damned... 'date of birth: 1992' so she didn't lie? Well, damn, I look like a total asshole right now... oh, fuck now I gotta... apologize...

"Well uh... yeah, so um... everything uh... everything checks out a-ok! Eh-haha..." Pinkie sat up proud in her seat, oddly enough, not gloating at me or, you know, calling me bitch and walking out.

Why is it that every girl I've met in this little quest of mine has been a naturally chill person?...

"Yup-yup! I told you so!... ... Why would I lie about something so serious? That wouldn't make any sense Gilda." The hell? That last half of her sentence was such a total tone shift from how she's been talking, it sounded a little... accusatory, and slightly angry... like I offended her.

Yeah, no shit you offended her dumbass.

Shut up, conscience!

"I-I'm sorry if I offended you... 'Pinkie', but this is nothing more than a neccasary precaution. The last thing I would need/want, is for a minor to slip under my radar. If something happened to you, or anyone I let get through, there would be some drastic repercussions." The, now more scarily serious, Pinkie, raised one of her pink eyebrows at me quizzically.

"'Repercussions'? Repercussion implies an unintentional consequence to an action, or series of events; unwanted consequences at that. That could imply that you may possibly be trying to get me involved in some shady business... you aren't attempting to do that, are you? Miss Hof?"

W-w-what the fuck??? I'm getting a little scared now... Blindsided, shocked, surprised- NONE OF THAT comes close to how she straight up floored my ass with that! Have I been underestimating her all along? Trying desperately to keep myself emotionally in check, I straightened up in my seat, as quickly, but not too suddenly, as I could. I figured I was wrong, yeah, but now she's asking all the wrong (though technically right) questions. I looked her dead in the eye as I gave her my answer.

"Absolutely not. You gotta understand kid, if you got harassed, or injured in any way while in the work place, I, the business, not to mention you, would be in a lot of trouble. Me for all but getting you the job with, or without prior knowledge to your age, the business for taking you in, and letting you work illegally, and you for lying about your age. Plus any harasser would be boned, more than they normally would have. I get that I offended you, and I apologize, really I do, but my hostility was in the best interest of everyone." At this point Pinkie put a hand to her chin in thought, as one of her legs crossed the other.

"... Well, if we're being 'realistic' about it, in all honesty, I'd probably only get a slap on the wrist. You would probably get reprimanded by the city, but- hypothetically of course, if you had no knowledge of such a thing, I'm sure you wouldn't get it too to bad. And... well I'd hope whoever was doing any form of 'harassment' get charged to the fullest extent that they could." Wait... really? That's all?... Well... considering Flim and Flam have their ties, I may not even have to face that... shit, she's got me on the ropes now... rrr... only one last ultimatum I can think of. I made sure to soften my eyes a bit, in an attempt to ease the tension, albeit very minimally.

"Hmm... actually... you may just be right. Regardless, when you actually run a business like this, bigger, or even smaller, you develop a veeerrry acute sense of paranoia. And even if what you said could happen, I would rather not take the risk of getting booked by the local po-po. That slap on the wrist parts' probably not to far off either-" Ok... gotta deliver this next part non-nonchalant... I casually cast my gaze downwards to my desk, shifting some random papers around, assorting them in my clipboard as I spoke. "- hell I think the worst that would happen is we'd probably just have to call your parents or something."

I heard her breath, ever~ so slightly hitch. Using my peripherals, and whenever I could steal a quick glance or two, I could see that she visibly tensed up. We hadn't explicitly talked about mommy and daddy Pie, so I believed I's successfully avoided suspicion for my comment. After several seconds of silence, I threw in one last innocent question for good measure:

"What's up? You got real tense for a second." Noticing her flub-up, she recomposed herself straightaway.

"O-oh, it's nothing, just thinking of home is all... mama and poppa aren't exactly, how do I put it... 'modern'?"

"Tch... what are they, Amish?"

"Pretty much..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing!... I'll tell you this much, they didn't know what a cellphone was until two-thousand twelve... after Steve Jobs passed away." ... Backwater~.

"Well at this point it doesn't matter does it? You effectively proved me wrong, I was wrong to suspect you as an underage woman, and with that, we can get to wrapping up this interview. No need to get parents involved, yeah?" She visibly relaxed, very obviously; my suspicion was correct: she's avoiding her parents... possibly. The evidence is vague, but there.

"L-looks that way."

"Yep. So hows about this, I got pretty much all the info I need out of you-" What little I cared to remember anyway. "-so how 'bout we call it a day, you come back at, oh say... noon tomorrow, and I'll have a job ready and waiting for you."

"What?... Just like that?" I nod once.

"Just like that. Given your past work experience, and assuming you're quite the people person, there's very little reason for someone not to hire you. Plus hey, I've been here for a long time kid, I knows peeps. If I don't have a job for you at the dawn of noon, I'll give you a full refund." Ha ha, that was funny. Her hands clasped together loudly as she jumped up and down in her seat.

"O-oh... gosh, thank you thank you thank you!! I was told you get fast results, but... wow... you have no idea how much this means to me!" Now the positive energy is back... interesting.

"Heh, bet I can guess. I've been doin' this kinda thing for almost two years now! I'm not about to disappoint a client now, 'specially not someone as nice as yourself." 'Nice'... yeah, she seems it anyway. "Besides, I kinda feel like shit for houndin' you earlier about your age. I backed you into a corner with that, so consider this my way of apolo-" Pinkie all but fuckin' catapulted out of the chair. She actually ended up on my desk, knees on the desk with her- arms around my neck!?

"Uh!-"

"Thanks soooo much Gilda, you have no idea how much it means to me that you're actually giving me a chance! No one else has the whole time I've been here, thank you!!"

"A-ah... hahh..." S-she's nuzzling her nose into m-my neck...

I-I didn't know what to do! I haven't encountered anything like the situation I'm in now, since I started living here! Once again Pinkie Pie had completely stunned me, as soon as her arms came in contact with my neck my own arms spazzed out to their sides. Every fiber off my physical being was begging me to shove her off, but the morally correct side of me said not to get forceful or physical with her. Can't have her being scared, and I did feel a little bad for busting her balls her about her age...

Grips getting t-tighter... I felt Pinkie shift her head, from my collar-bone, to rest on my shoulder...

"I really mean it Gilda, thank you... I... didn't think I actually had a shot..."

"E-eh ha ha... W-hat makes you say that? Y-you had just a good a chance as anyone else." Her lock of affection around my neck tightened slightly more.

"I know that... it's just, well... *sigh*... to be honest with you, no one's given me a chance to prove myself in a long time." Really?... Can't say I can empathize, everyone back home expected me to prove myself... it was the norm for me to feel like breaking something if I performed less then great...

"Really? U-uh... that's... hard to believe... y-you're qualifications pass with flying colors, and your personality, though a little loud, would greatly-" The harsh shaking of her head was enough to cut me off.

"That's what normally kills it... almost anyone else would've sent me home by now... ... 'don't call us, we'll call you'..." At this point, the pinkette's grip on my neck didn't really so much bother me... kinda... felt comfortable actually. What the hell am I doing??...

"Well... their a bunch of dweebs. W-whoever didn't hire you would be missing out on a good employee... i-if you don't mind me intruding... it sounds like this type of thing is a recurring thing for you." Nod of the head... my arms are limp at my side now.

"Mm hm... it never bothered me to much when I was younger, but, you know... you get older, and you start thinking about things, and realizing what people actually meant when they told you something..." She brought her head down back to the crook of my neck again, continuing her string of vague answers. This is actually kinda n... no NO, t-this is- no! Bad touch, bad touch! What the hell was she thinking trying this!? I-Is this real o-or am I dreaming? No one in real life would try this shit! I-I feel a little bad for her, yeah, but... I still had yet to move a muscle.

"Not uh... not that I'm complaining or anything but... what brought this on? You were pretty, well, hyper during the our previous talk, until I brought up your age; again, massively sorry about that,-" The more I thought about it, the more I was, is the thing... "- so... well, just that, what's up? I know everyone's got shit to deal with, and for all I know, you've probably seen some gnarly stiff, but, well... i-it's not even the whole, 'we've known each other for like twenty minutes' thing, it's just super unexpected is all..." She was still for some time, eventually I felt her, I think, shrug against me.

"I dunno... just... felt I should maybe? It felt so nice to know that I was being given a chance to prove myself."

"'Prove yourself'?... How? Why?" Silence.This woman is such a Goddamn enigma... I wasn't expecting this when she strolled in here today.

After, what I assumed was, several minutes, she removed her head from the crook of my neck, raising it so she could look at me. Those big, bright blue eyes from earlier weren't there. They were blue, yes. Big, yes very much still. What they weren't, was bright, and full of that boundless energy that, I'd thought, she'd never run out of. They looked... just a shade darker.

She decided to answer my question(s) with her own, eyes wavering subtly as she spoke.

"Have you... ever felt like no one believed in you? Even by those you loved? The ones who were always supposed to stand by you?"

Those three little questions shook me through to the core. Her quiet tone, matched with the vulnerability in her eyes screamed volumes at me. I wasn't sure what to feel then... even today, I don't know why I was affected the way I was. I don't even think she realized just how powerful those questions could be for someone...

Do I? I haven't thought about home or my non-Cranky related past in a long time... shit, can't even remember the last time I called Mom and Dad. I think I called Dash, like, twice since I've been in this state, neither of them remotely recently. But the question at hand: have I felt that way before? I mean... Mom and Dad were cool overall I guess, though a little over bearing in the early years. Never could fully please them, I always fucked up assignments, or tests somehow, even if I scored high, they had to find something to bitch about... Having assholes for cousins, nephews, nieces... actually pretty much everyone in my family was a dick; didn't exactly help matters. I can remember when I was a kid, being my chubby little self at the time- yeah yeah, I used to have a stomach... shut up- everyone used to always crack jokes at my weight, and looks... 'Gigantic Gilda', 'Humongous Hof'... they're stupid names, I know, but when your a kid, that shit pisses you off! Mom would get mad at me for getting my feelings hurt, blaming me for how I look, because of my 'poor lifestyle choices'. At like, age six. I finally got fed the fuck up, and started playing Basketball by fourth grade. Yeah... yeah, that's right... Mom's the one who got me in sports. No surprise that she and Dad were super for it now that I think about it, her and Dad were Quarterback and Head Cheerleader after all... Heroes of their Goddamn school...

I thought I'd forgotten about all of that...

All of that was eons before I met Dash... I guess... I was lonelier back then, then I thought. Never really saw the grandparents, or uncles and aunts a whole lot. I usually just saw them at my games, and even then, I felt like they'd rather be somewhere else... kinda like... I was wasting everyone's time. Every single time, after every game, track meet, whatever, win or (especially) lose, I would always hear about where I went wrong, any little bad calls I made, sitting on the bench while my back wasn't straight...

Tch... I think faking my rape was the best thing that ever happened to our relationship...

Maybe... maybe that was all the universe' way of leading me to...

I had pondered her question way longer, and in more detail than I should have, I know shouldn't have! But her question... so vulnerable and curious, it just... got those memories and shit flowing outta of me like a Goddamn waterfall.

The whole time I was stuck in my head, trying my damnedest to answer her question, she was staring at me. My head had tilted downwards, staring at a particularly pretty stack of post-its around the time I made it to my old weight. She didn't say anything. Just... kept sitting there, on my desk, staring at me. After some time, I took a chance, and flicked my eyes up at her, curious as to how she was taking my lengthy silence. What her eyes conveyed surprised me, simply because it didn't surprise me.

She was looking at me just as she had been earlier, eyes a calm blue, staring at me non-judgmental, and patient as she waited for me to answer. A shaky sigh escaped me as I attempted to put what I was feeling into a minimal amount of words.

"Um-" Good start... "i-in a sense, yeah, I think, well, maybe... *huff* I don't know. I-it's really confusing to say, I never really... never really thought about all that to much; was to focused on being as awesome as possible, you know? I mean yeah, there was some criticism, plenty of pissed off days, but everyone goes through that right? I mean of course-" I was rambling on. I didn't mean to, didn't want to, but I didn't really know what to think! The more I was talking, and the more and more I was thinking about it... the more I was starting to hate my family a little... I think I went on my trying-to-rant rant for a good five minutes before she decided to intervene.

"Gilda."

"- it's not unnatural to wanna punch your family members in the face once in a while is it?" Never was fucking good enough for them, until I completely changed who I was...

"Gilda."

Every single thing wrong with everything was somehow my fuckin fault!"Fuckin' dicks.. I worked my ass to the bone for them, not even once could-"

"Gilda."

"What!?" I was nose and nose with her now... for some reason... no need to be really, just pissed off, and in the moment I guess.

"I think... I got my answer." She flashed this coy little smile at me, it was in a real sly kinda way, like she knew something a didn't. It was then my brain finally decided to think realistically and realize 'wait a minute, what the fuck is she doing on my desk!?' Shoving her off of me, not hard enough to fall off the desk, I inched away in my chair, feeling my body get a little colder from the loss of her arms.

"O-ok... l-like I said, I heard all I needed to hear, show up at about twelve, alright?" She cocked her head to the side inquisitively, her eyes looking lighter again.

"Is everything alright? Gilda?" I didn't like how she said that... not one little bit. It sounded like an innocent enough question... but coppled with the tiny smile she wore with it, it sounded like she was teasing me, egging me on almost! Maybe I was just being paranoid, but I suddenly wanted her the fuck away from me as soon as possible... at the time it felt like my eyes opened up to the game she may or may not have played with me.

"Yeah, good, great, see you tomorrow Pinkie." Go away go away go away!-

"Are you sure?" She started reaching her hand out. "If there's something wron-" I smacked it away with quicker reflexes than I knew I had.

"Yes, now go. Before I change my mind." I tried to sound threatening, but there was a certain lack of punch in my voice from yet another mental crisis.

More stares from her, as I stare back, unreadable calmness matching very obvious nervousness.

Out of nowhere, she hops off the desk, eyes big n' bright again, giant smile on her face. "Oki-doki! See ya en mañana!" About face, and out the door she went.

...

...

What the fuck!?

I screamed internally as I flipped my desk across the room, and chucked my chair at the wall.

Why does this shit always happen!? Every fucking time I go to recruit someone new, I get unknowingly roped into this psychological bullshit! Either I feel bad, or shit from the past I wanna forget resurfaces- the fuck are you trying to say me God!?

"What!? Huh!? I don't give a shit anymore! About home, about my family, I'm going to do whatever it takes dammit!"

And that-! T-t-that pink little... thing was toying with me, she had to be, no way someone could come off as pure as that in the beginning, and not be trying to manipulate them. I all but threw my back to the wall, hands fisted in my hair, roughly sliding down my face.

"She had me going too- I get it now! All the, t-the laughing, smiling, rambling; a ploy! I-it had to have been, she was just trying to get my defenses down, so she could have an opportunity to strike against me! But why and for what?..."

I was completely wrong about that kid, she... she may just be one of the smartest bitches I've ever met! Every attractive and endearing feature about her is a clever ruse, in order for her to catch her opponents off guard! My eyes shot open in realization.

"If I'm not careful, she could beat on me with an aluminum baseball bat, dump my body in the ground, and make me call her Mud!"

...

...

...

...

You're screaming in and out of your head, shitting your pants from a scenario straight out of a Primus song... you're officially insane.

"Shut the fuck up conscience!"
Shut the fuck up conscience!

SSSSSSSSIIIIIIIiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

"OK... ok, I'm calm now, I'm cool; a-ok."

I just wish I knew what goes on up in that kids head...

----------------------------------------------------Pinkie----------------------------------------------------

"... see ya en mañana!" Then I sprinted out the door!

Woohooooo! that went over awesome! The huggy-desk maneuver gets 'em every time!

Hmm... I'm not too sure... she didn't seem to really buy into it. I think we just creeped her out.

Sigh... and there's the balloon popper. Oh well! I'm not gonna let her being a party pooper keep me down from my success today!

After exiting the office, onto the parking lot, I swear I heard a faint bashin' n' crashin' goin' on up in Gilda's office. Probably just my imagination. Where is it, where is it, where is it- ooh!Right on the side of the building, I saw my second companion on my adventure, my Big Blue Backpack of Containment! I didn't take it in, it just would've made Gilda ask questions.

Grabbing it, and hoisting it on my back, I peered up at the bigger blue-er sky, I noticed the suns position, now I'm a little rusty at this, but by my minds math, it should be about 3 o'clock... *GAASSP* that means!-

I still got time to get some food from Sugar Cube Corner!

*sigh*... did you even hear me? Oh yeah... she can hear me...

Of course silly willy! But mah tummy's rather rumbly, and I wantz me some nourishment.

'Nourishment' is the last thing you need to worry about, where are we going to sleep tonight?

I was working that one out still...

Walking through the streets of this ok looking city, I took in the sights of my new temporary home. A few stores here, restaurants there, kids park, ooo coffee shop! Hm... Bella-Rose's Coffee 'n Flower Shop... that's almost a clever reference!

Hey conscience, want some coffee?

Thanks for not answering my question... and no. You know I prefer tea.

Ugh... you're no fun.

Well, wasn't thirsty anyway. Oh oh, there it is! Just a block away!

I made a mad dash towards Sugar Cube Corner, eager to say hi to the Cakes again. I really really like those two; they're two of the friendliest people I've ever met! Their food was awesome, the store was spotless; I wish I got to know them sooner. Lord knows I talked their ears off when we met. And subsequently every day after that, for hours on end.

I think that's what makes them... different to me; special even:

They seemed like they were actually interested. Didn't rush me, didn't shut me up for any reason, it seemed like they actually-

'Cared'?

I know, I know I've only talked to them a handful of times, over the course of like, two weeks, but I feel it, ya know? You felt it too right?... Like... it didn't seem like we- I was burdening them?

I'm not saying you were, and I'm not saying they don't or didn't. I'm just saying it may be good to keep them at arms length. Let them close, sure, just not to close. Why are we going back there anyway?

I'd finally made it to the door, pushing it open I heard the little bells jingle as I walked in. So adorable! I walked up to the front counter and gave the little bell on it a tiny smack. Oh sweet convenience, no customers!

Well... if nothing else, it gives us a place to chillax at until evening at least, right?

"Hi again! Mister and Misses Cake?" Now remember don't creep them out. Or piss them off. Quiet you!

"Ah, Pinkie! Welcome back!" I heard Mister Cake greet, as he walked out from the back. Kitchen? Bathroom? IDK, but he's here now! Guy looks like he's been working hard, his brow's sweaty and his apron has layers and layers of pastryness on it. That didn't stop his good mood though. "How'd that interview of yours go? You wow them with your natural charm?"

"Hehe oh, you! I think I did ok; well I mean I must have anyway, she said come back tomorrow and she'll have something!" Mr. C clapped his hands together.

"Wonderful! Cup, come in here!" He called, a few seconds later misses Cake came walking out of the back... place. She looked no different then her husband; dirty work clothes, fatigue setting in as the day was winding down, but she still looked happy to see me.

"Pinkie! Lovely to see you again!" She walked out behind from the counter to give me a quick hug and, well, I wasn't not gonna return it!

"Hi Mrs. Cake! I was just telling Mr. C about my interview." Cup let go of me, looking at me with slightly widened eyes.

"That's right, you did have that today didn't you? Well, don't keep me waiting, how did it go?"

Wow, I'm so not use to all of this positive attention; it feels so awesome!

Feeling bashful, I started to awkwardly scratch the back of my head with my right hand. "Heh heh, I uh, think I did ok." I heard Mr. C give a scoff at my answer.

"'Ok', she did great Cup. Pinkie told me that Gilda could get her a job as early as tomorrow!" Ok, so it was a good-natured scoff. I didn't even know people could do that.

"That's wonderful!" Ooo deja vu! "Oh! Where are our manners? Sit down, sit down! We'll get you something to eat! You've got to be starved." I legit jumped at the idea.

"Awesome, thanks!" There was a vacant table for two right by the window, at the entrance of the store, that I grabbed right away, I always loved those. The whole place as a whole is just adorable! Pinks here, whites there, a lovely display case for the various treats, not a speck of dirt on the floor. Just plain lovely.

Are we suppose to establish what the place looks like?

It's polite.

"What would you like, dear?" Mrs. Cake asked as she took the seat opposite of me. Hey, do you remember how much cash we got?

Like... seven bucks.

Oh, poopie...

"Um, actually Mrs. Cake, I just remembered, I'm kind of outta cash... heh heh, sorry. I should probably just le-" Mrs. Cake wasn't takin' any a dat. She dismissed my attempted excusal with a wave of the hand.

"Don't be silly, it's on the house." Wait, really!?

"O-oh Mrs. Cake, I-I couldn't-" My attempted protest was cut off. Again

"I won't hear it Pinkie! In the considerably short time we've known each other, you've become a dear friend to Carrot and I, the least we could do is buy you something to eat, in celebration of your recent employment."

'D-... dear f-f-friend?...

"O-oh... thank you Mrs. Cake! I-I really appreciate that." She gave me a small pat on one of my hands.

"Not a problem at all dear."

I finally decided on ordering a batch of their famous (or should be anyway) cupcakes!... why are you looking at me like that? They call them, "One-Bowl Cupcakes". They're chocolate cupcakes, topped with vanilla, sprinkles, a cherry, and a diagonally cut waffle cone. It's so good!!

Do we have to go into explicit detail about what's in the things?

Describing things in detail automatically makes stories better, and authors great! Unless your Tara Gilesbie...

Time flew by waiting for the food, and the time was well spent. Talking to Mrs. Cake is so comfortable, she's really laid back, and always has something interesting it say. For instance! Her Mom was actually friends with Mr. C's father in the Korean War!

That'd be really awkward if they were more than 'friends' back in the day...

Ew ew ew!!!

After, oh I'd say, twenty or so minutes, Carrot came back out with a hot fresh batch of cupcakes, putting them smack-dab between Cup, and my mouth-waterin' self.

"Ooh those look bomb Mr. C! Thanks again you guys!" Carrot went to stand proudly by his wife, hand on her shoulder, smile on his face.

"Not a problem at all Pinkie. Well? go on, eat up!" Well, ya don't have to as me twice!

For the next few hours, it was a back-and-forth between eating cupcakes, to talking with my hosts, to munching on some brownies, to conversing with the Cakes, to devouring several cookies, to exchanging words with the Cakes, and-

You ate, talked, then repeated... fascinating...

Hmph! Well then, skipping ahead a little bit, I was finishing up a fond memory I had of big sister Maud and I.

'A little bit'? It took you an hour to tell the whole thing.

Hush!

"...so I said, 'Oatmeal? Are you crazy!?', and my sister Maud says, 'No Pinkie, I'm being... cereal-slly.'"

The Cakes were (figuratively) on the floor! I told you, I told you someone would find that one funny!

Yeah, yeah... hm. You know, I'm starting to like them. It's very rare that we don't meet complete as-

Conscience!! There's no need for that kind of profanity!

What- not even in your own head?

A clean mind means a clean soul~.

I... cannot refute that, well done.

When the Cakes were able to (again, figuratively) pick themselves up off the floor, I concluded my little tale.

"So yeah, needless to say, I never went back to that county again, and Maud never even looked at those pants after that!"

"Oh-ha-ha Pinkie~ That was hilarious! A-haha... did that really happen?" I gave a nod as confirmation.

"Pinkie promise on it Mrs. Cake!" Suddenly their laughs ceased and eyes became wide with... concern?

"Oh my, even the part about the sheriff, and the tazers?"

"Uh-huh!"

"And where you said how Maud hot-wired the tractor?"

"Yup-yup! Later on in the year, she taught me how to do it too! It's about as hard as you'd expect, and easier than you'd think." The older couple shared a look, then turned back to me.

"E-even the part with Bo Burnahm, at, Walking With Dinosaurs?..."

"Es-pecially that part! How else were we going to get the tartar sauce and Steve Austin action figures!?" They looked at each other again, almost like they were... nervous...

Oh no... I-I didn't freak, or weird them out with that story did I? This one really happened! It was like, the best summer of my life- ever!

"Uh... Pinkie Pie?..." Here it comes again...

"Y-yes Mister C?" Said Cake looked to his wife again, as if searching for the words for whatever he wanted to say.

"It's just, well... that story of yours, it sounded very-" Fake? False? Fabricated? Phony? "-uh... w-well how would you put it, Cup?" Cup perked back up into the conversation at her sudden inclusion.

"Oh, me!? W-well, um... it was-" Hard to believe? Crazy? Insane? Childish? "-that is, it all sounded very... dangerous."

'Dangerous'?
'Dangerous'?

"Dangerous, Mrs. Cake?"

"Well yes! You and your sister weren't hurt at all were you?" 'Hurt'?...

"O-oh, um- *ahem* -not at all! Well admittedly there were a few boo-boo's and bruises, but nothing different from what we dealt with back home."

Pinkie!

I messed up big by letting that slip...

"'At home?' What do you mean? You were safe at home right?" Think of something, think of something!

"O-oh o-of course, of course, Mr. C! Just, ya know... a-all everyday risks of working on a farm. Stuff-a-fallin', animals-a-kicking, those kind of things." Please let it drop... I... I don't want to think about home... n-not like this- I can't!

The Cakes were still looking at me... questions swirling around in their eyes, just begging to be asked. Do they... do they actually care?...

"Pinkie... like I said earlier, we did borderline just meet, but... if anythings bothering you, you can talk to us you know. We'll listen dearie, no judgement will be cast here." Mrs. Cake implored, with the most genuine, comforting voice I've heard in a long time.

... Wow... Pinkie I... I-I think they do!

Please... please. I didn't care for my mental begging but... it'd be sooo nice to make some new, real, friends.

"Cup's right Pinkie. Of course, if you'd rather not talk about it, we'll respect your wish. We care about you- ! -so whatever you need from us just-"

"Pinkie! Are you... crying?..."

Finally hearing someone say those four little words to me made me break... yes, I was crying. I felt bad later, I imagined what had gone through Mr. C's head, since he unintentionally caused the dam to break. A dam that needed breaking.

"Mm hm..." Mr.s Cake almost jumped out of her chair to try to console me. She kneeled down in front of me. I felt her arms embrace me, my head being softly pulled to her chest.

I felt her arm sooth itself up and down my back, her other hand giving my scalp a tender rub. Soft words of comfort caressing my eardrums.I haven't felt so at peace in a long time... I was sobbing now. I couldn't help it, I just felt so... so...

"Shh shh... oh Pinkie..." Mr. Cake squatted next to me, and joined in on the back rub. I don't quite remember how long we stayed like this.

After what felt like forever, most of my tears had dried, or stained themselves into Mrs. Cakes' shirt. My strength was slowly returning to me, not wanting to weigh heavily on her anymore, I slowly inched my way out of her embrace, with her arms staying on my shoulders, my head renaming downcast.

"You poor thing... why were you crying just now?"

"Was... was it something I said?" What'd I tell you?

Allowing myself a small laugh, I shook my head, to calm his fears. "No Mr. C, it wasn't... well... it, kinda was, but not in a bad way." And I didn't exactly help matters. Understandably curious, he tiled his head to the side in question.

"What do you mean?" More silence.

I thought about how I should best answer this question; rather, how I could convey how I was feeling right now. Choosing to ignore his question temporarily, I addressed Mrs. Cake first with a question of my own.

"Umm... Mrs. Cake?" Immediately her attention was all mine.

"Yes, what is Pinkie?" *Sniff* Darn it all...

Pinkie...

I can do this. I have to.

"Eariler... like, an hour or so ago, y-you said..." *Inhale* *exhale* "you said I had... become a dear friend of you and Mr. C. I want to know if, uh... I want to know that, um, well..." In an act of nervousness, I glanced to Mr. C, hoping for some reason that he'd somehow help me ask this. I quickly looked back to Mrs. Cake. "I need to know... i-is that true? Am I... am I really a dear f-f-friend to you!?" I was almost in hysterics again; finally, I was able to get my nagging insecurity out in the open.

Mrs. Cake looked to Mr. C, and I dared chance a look at him as she did. No doubt he was shocked my by sudden breakdown, let alone my oddly worded personal question. Like as if his life depended on it, he frantically nodded his head up-n-down. Mrs. Cake looked back to me.

"Of course Pinkie. I wouldn't have said it if Carrot or I didn't mean it, silly! Pinkie, we've met a lot of people in our combined time. Some of them good, some of them bad, but you... in the short time we've known you, we believe that you have to be one of the nicest, funnest, free-willed people we've ever met! Always a smile, always a laugh to be shared, spring in the step; qualities in a person that are scarce in the world these days. Those are just a few of the things we admire about you. That make you special." M-m-mrs. Cake... Cup... I-I... n-no one, except Maud ever-

"And you wanna know what else Pinkie?"

"W-what's that Mr. C?..."

"If anyone ever try's to tell you that any part about you is wrong, I want you to know that they're the ones in the wrong. Neither Cup or myself would say these things to just anyone, so I beg of you, even though it hasn't even been two weeks, listen to me. Don't ever let anyone say that your too much of anything. What I mean by that is, if someone says such about your personality, or just the way you do things; if anything, more people should try to treat life like you, fun, with a smile, making each day and encounter count. Of course, maybe not exactly like you." He smiled a small smile. "I don't think the world could handle more than one of you."

"Hm hm..."

My heart felt like it was breaking... not because of pain, but because... agh, it's so unexplainable! It's like with them, I almost feel... feel...

Loved.

Love... hard to believe that such a powerful feeling, could feel so foreign.

The tears came again. Not waiting for her to do so, I clung back to Mrs Cake again.

"You guys... Carrot, Cup... th-thank you... thank you..."

"Y-your welcome Pinkie... but why are you crying again?" I shook my head, my head that was buried in Mrs. Cakes neck.

"I'm not... that's just it... I-I'm happy."

"Happy?..."

"Th-the truth is... I haven't had any real friends, in a long time... i-it makes me sooo happy, to know that I... well, that I finally have some. A-and they're two of the coolest people in the whole wide world! S-so thank you."

"*Sniff* You are most welcome, P-Pinkie." I stayed in Mrs. Cakes' embrace for a little while longer. After my emotions subsided somewhat, I released myself from her, awkwardly apologizing for the utter damper I put on the whole day. They reassured me that it didn't matter, so long as I was feeling better. After a few chocolaty chip cookies, and some coffee (one cream five sugars), everything was almost completely back to normal, our conversation from earlier resumed; with me telling tales of my youth, and the Cakes nostalgalizing about their respective lives.

'Nostalgalizing' isn't a real word, you dunce...

Quite, you tsundere!

As evening slowly shooed the sun away, I realized that I'd spent all day here, that wasn't so much an issue, but I realized that I still had nowhere to sleep. Making a quick decision, I decided on just looking for either a bench with as less sticky substances on it that I can find, or taking a chance in someone's backyard... do they even have backyards here? I've just been at the park this whole time. I started removing myself from my chair, attempting to make a nonchalant exit.

"Well Mr and Mrs. Cake, I should probably be going. It's getting a little late, I should be getting back to get some sleep for tomorrow." Plus I really don't want to be in the dark any longer than I have to...

"Oh, do you have to leave?" I sadly nodded.

"'Fraid so Mrs. Cake. I'll stop by tomorrow after I'm out of the interview! Whenever that'll end..." I started walking to the door, and just as I was about to open the door, and see myself out, Mr. C grabbed my arm.

"Hey Pinkie... would it be alright with Libman, if you spent the night here?" 'Libman'? Oh yeah, my 'cousin' I told them about last week...

"Oh! Uhm. t-that's alright! I wouldn't want to burden you more than-"

"Pinkie. I won't be hearing any more of that from you, now answer Carrot, will your cousin mind if you slept here tonight?" Man, there's just no being self-detrimental around her is there?...

"Um... I don't..." Dang it... aw, nuts to this, I can't lie to them anymore... "*sigh* The truth is, there is no cousin. I'm... I'm not sleeping anywhere, haven't since I've been here... more often than not I just find a lonely little bench, or try not to get caught in anyone's yard..." I hated admitting my current homeless situation, but being that they're my... friends -*squees internally*- I knew the least they deserved was some honesty.

"Y-you haven't..." I looked at Mrs. Cake, she looked mortified at what I just shared.

"Nope. It's been that way for a long time. Look... you two are great, but... the last thing I'd want to do is risk what we have by imposing on you... good night." Riiight as I stepped out of the store, I got yanked back in! I was soon face to face with a very angry Carrot.

"If I hear one more word about you being a 'burden' or anything of the sort, I'm going to have Cup smack you upside the head young lady!" I'm scared....

I-I t-told you n-not to piss-s them off!

"Now listen here. YOU. Are going to march upstairs, and take a shower. I'll wash your clothes so they can look nice for tomorrow. Leave your backpack here, and I'll do the same with any other clothes you have." Carrot... this feels so weird... no one has had to help me like this in forever... no, not 'help' more like, 'take care of'...

"Upstairs?..." Cup decided to interject, then.

"We weren't kidding when we told you this place was our lives work. Right in the back, through the kitchen, there's a small flight of stairs. Go up it, you'll see a hallway, two doors on the right, one on the left. The left door is the bathroom, the the two on the right is our bedroom, and the guests room, respectively."

You neglected to mention that the shop was two stories.

Now the story will get down-voted!

"B-but, but, you two are doing so much for me, I can't possibly-"

"No more buts! Now get up there, and don't come down until you're as clean as a show on the Disney Channel!"

"Um-"

"The one with the live action shows!" Oh... God...

"*sigh*... Yes, sir."

------------------------------------------------------------Gilda------------------------------------------------------

I am a woman of many things. A few of them ok, most of them pretty horrible. I am also a woman with many things. Be they material, physical, or recently, of the mentally clinical variety. One thing I'm never without, is a plan. Most of the time I can come up with them relatively quick, some I plan months or days ahead, and in this particular case, I'm laying down the plans on how to deal with Pinkie Pie tomorrow.

As someone in my line of work, there are two words that everyone should accompany themselves with. One is the word: 'weakness'. By knowing someones weakness, and sometimes better, knowing how to find it, is key to success. Business thrives off the strong devouring, or absorbing the weak, any 'merger' is just a fancy word people use, instead of saying: 'yeah, one company got super boned by the other company's bigger, and much more successful dick'.

The other word is... well it depends on the person. I believe it should be fear, while others may say respect, tactical, I'd even argue exploitation, but no, to be a good boss, a powerful owner, you always need that ever so slight shred of fear. Most people don't even realize that they fear their bosses, it's that little sensation that tells you to take more responsibility, that little creeping thought when you realize that could let you go in a flash, where no matter how much you hate them, you say nothing.

Fear. x Strength. + a Weakness. = Success.

(Scare them) x (Beating them) + (Exploiting them) = (Profit)

Greed is good after all.

I don't care what that little ID said, she's a kid on the inside, no matter what her age is. She was also able to get eerily serious when her back was against the wall, so clearly she won't frighten easy. So tomorrow, I'll pull the 'friend' act, ask how she is, pretend to be interested, all that bullshit. If I'm careful enough, she'll fall right into my hands.

I find that my best formed plans, come from when I'm on my couch watching Youtube on the PS4. Wait was the PS4 out then?... Eh, fuck it.

After putting my office back together, I came straight back home, closed the store early today. For the rest of the day, evening, and now night, I was wracking my brain around Pinkie Pie, everything she did was so... unreal. I couldn't tell if she was endearingly eccentric, or if she was a calculating shyster. Fuck what if she's both!?

After several-plus hours of thinking, my brain was tired. I pulled out my phone to see that it was only eight o' clock... well, might was turn in early, I figured.

I had a (rough) plan, once I find an opening, I'll pounce on it, scratch at it, claw at it 'til it fucking bleeds. I'll teach that little girl not to try and out smart me. Tomorrow it'd be a battle of the wits, and I wasn't going to lose.

You try to play me, get in my head, you resurface shitty memories I wanted to forget; this will not go un-payed for, Pinkie.

----------------------------------------------------------Pinkie-----------------------------------------------

Man... how long has it been since we showered, Conscience?

Mmm, far... far too long

Real soaps, real water, real towels, I was in heaven! I finally got to wash my hair out, I was happy about that, these tangles were getting annoying. The hair's naturally curly, but it can be a real pain to maintain, I'm seriously lucky I don't have dreadlocks. I scrubbed my body thorough, and precise, who knows when I'll get this opportunity for cleanliness again? It kind of hurt after awhile, but I had some dirt, stains, and other grime on me for way to long. On the other hand, it gives my body a certain almost pink hue to it, haha~!

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"How you doing in there, Pinkie?"

"Is there a word better than awesome? Cause I'm feeling pretty up there, Mrs. Cake!"

"Hm hm, well good. Carrot's washing your clothes still, but I was able to find you some old PJ's that may fit you. It's either that or you sleep in the towel tonight."

Ugh, that's unappealing...

It sounds a heck of a lot better than that one time in the back of that Chipotle.

You swore you wouldn't bring that back up!

"Pinkie?" Darn conscience. Making me zone out and stuff...

"Sorry, sorry, just thinking is all."

"Hm. Pinkie... I hope you understand that Carrot isn't mad at you. What you told us... while I understand that took strength to do, it really worried us. I won't ask how long you've been doing this, or why. I can only imagine what led you to this, and how personal you keep it; to which I'm fine with. Just know that... you've always got a place to lay your head here if you need it." I assumed she finished her piece, nothing more came from her side of the door. ... Conscience?...

...yes?...

Did... she offer us a, a-a home here?

You know something?... I truly think she just might have.

Can... can we stay here?

... I see no reason not to. I think... this restaurant will be a fine home.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

After the party in my head settled down, I turned off the water, hoping I didn't get too pruny. I grabbed the purple cotton towel off of its rack, and dried myself off.

Remember, dry off in the shower first, then exit one leg at a time, while drying that respective leg. We are guests after all, and it'd be very rude to soak the carpet.

Ugh... I KNOW.

Following MOM'S procedures, I made my way out of the tub, wrapping the towel around me. Higher up, Pinkie.

Why?

Do you want someone to see your breasts?

Uh-ha ha, good point... course to be fair, someone, somewhere probably wants me to want to.

Pinkie...

Fine, fine!

After restoring my decency, I was about to walk out of the spa I made of the bathroom, and make my way to the guest room, when I caught sight of the mirror. It was a little fogged up, but I remedied that with some cold water splashed on it. What I saw in it was a sight refreshing, and a little surprising at first. It was me in the mirror, well to be specific, her.

My hair had been matted down by the hot water, and with my thorough finger-combing, lay almost fully flat against my back. The ol' blue eyes seemed just a little darker than usual.

"You look beautiful tonight."

No I don't, that's not me you're looking at Pinkie, that is ALL you in that mirror.

"Hm... Well, I think the straight hair suits you better. I don't think I can pull off, 'serious', or 'refined', and all that stuffiness."

Oh, so I'm stuffy now... thanks.

"Hmm, I'm kidding, and you know it."

Not that I'm apposed, but, why are you actually talking?

I shrug. "I dunno. I just never talk to you like this normally... thought it'd be a pleasant change of pace. Besides, it makes the head quieter."

I see...

"...Hey Conscience?... Thanks for always being there for me. I don't know how I would've lasted without you beside me... inside me, whatever."

I told you didn't I? I'm not leaving you anytime soon, even if the whole world fell apart I'll always have your back, and you'll always have my support. And, even though I usually don't make assumptions, it seems the Cakes care a lot about us, and it makes me happy to know that we have someone supporting us.

"Yeah... I hope I get a fun job tomorrow. I'll work real hard at it! That way, I can support myself, and stay here with the Cakes forever and ever! Would... that be okay?"

I would have no qualms over that.

"Awesome. Well, I think I'm dry enough, I think I'll head to that guest room of theirs."

Good idea.

Opening the door, I looked left to right, relieved to see that the coast was clear. The Cakes have been cool and understanding about everything, but I don't think they're quite ready to meet Conscience yet. Like the others, they'd just think I'm cook-coo. I made my way down the hall, into the, what I assumed was, the guest room. Basic setup, a bed, a desk, a window, a TV, a bookshelf, a ceiling light, a lamp, a ceiling, four walls surround me, and a... Dwayne Johnson bobble-head?...

Yeah, you know 'basic'.

On the bed was an old lookin' The Residents T-shirt that looked too big for me, and a pair of AC/DC pants that I think I'd need a belt for.

But you can't use a belt for-

I KNOW.

I dropped the towel to the floor and out on my loaner pajamas. They fit me sooo loose! I actually had to do that thing where you tie your shirt in a knot. The pants I just had to deal with; it's not like they were falling off, but I had to hold them up.

That shower really relaxed me. I hope the Cakes don't mind if I doze off a little early.

Don't see why they should. I'm certain they have to wake up early as well.

That bed in the corner was lookin' mighty cozy right about then, I threw back the covers, and jumped right on top of-

Oh my GOD a bed! A real real bed! It feels so niiiiiice!! I immediately got on my comfy sleeping position; on my right side.

Mmm I must agree, beats the heck out of benches and yards doesn't it?

... ... ... zzz zzz zzz

Ha ha ha... ... night Pinkie.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Ah! Ah! Ah!

"Oh my! Pinkie??" Mrs. Cakes sudden knocking almost scared me to death! I was facing away from her, but I heard her open the door and walk in.

"Ugh..."

"Sorry to bother you dearie, I didn't wake you up did I?"

YES.

"Kind of... it's o... *yaaaaaawn* kay though. What's up?" She sat down next to me on the bed. Instinctively I moved over, giving her more room.

"I just wanted to come in, and check up on you. See how you liked the room and whatnot."

"Mmm, I love it..."

"Good, very good. Also, I wanted to see if the clothes fit you, or if you even like them. They are a little old and big after all."

"They're fine. Thank you, again, Mrs. Cake."

"Don't mention it dearie." Mrs. Cake then rested her hand on my hand, giving it gentle rubs, as if I was a small child. It was... the most soothing thing I've felt all day. I almost fell back asleep, but Cup brought me back after a few minutes. "Carrot's washing up your clothes now by the way. There were quite a lot in that little backpack of yours..." Oh no... please Mrs. Cake, don't make me talk about it...

"Y-yeah, well... I um... need... them..." Dammit, she's getting too close...

"And, some pieces of clothing looked like they'd been in a gutter for years. I-I know I said I wouldn't ask you about it, and if you wish to noy talk about it, I'll respect your choice, but... Pinkie? H-how long have-"

"A long time, Mrs. Cake. Long enough to where I really don't want to talk about it" Conscience?...

"Oh... I-I see."

"And as to why they look like that... well, let's just say benches, yards, not to mention roofs aren't as uncomfortable as you'd immediately think, either."

"... I... see." What are you doing!?

Getting her to drop the subject, that's what. Friend or not, I highly advise against giving out such painful information out.

That's really not up for you to decide! I trust them, shouldn't that be enough for you!? You... you still trust me right??? Mrs. Cake removed her hand, and started to make her way to the door. No... no don't go...

"Well... I just wanted to run that by you. It's getting close to Carrot, and mines' bedtime, but if you need anything, anything at all, don't be afraid to let us know, ok?"

"O-oki-doki, Mrs. Cake."

"Good night Pinkie."

"Night..." The last thing I heard of Mrs. Cake, was the careful closing of the door.

...

...

...

She's gone-

Did you hear how bad you made her feel!? You had no right to do that!

You're welcome by the way! You didn't want to talk about it, so I dismissed the conversation. I know they're nice and everything, but don't you think it's a little early to be relenquishing such painful information? Not just because we met them last week but also for your sake too. The mere thought of the past few years is enough to send you into hysterics in the first place!

I flipped over on my back, glaring at the ceiling, somehow imagining her doing the same thing.

Well, you know what!? I'd rather cry, and feel my heart break, then keep it inside! That's all I've ever done! Every time I've ever been sad, o-or angry at something, I always bottled it up, because I couldn't bring myself to trust anyone, and the one time I did, that person didn't have my back when I needed them. But this is different! I-I know I can trust them! And even if it kills me, I'll deal with it, because at least then, I'd be able to have a clear mind, for once in my life!

What makes them different!? A few hugs, and some declarations of affection? That's not 'love' or signs of trust, it's a scene from a sopa opera!

Why are you acting like this!? Y-you said so earlier that we could trust them, that they did care!

I did, and I still think they probably do, BUT, I would rather push them away, then risk your mental health. I truly have your best interest at-

If you did, you wouldn't push away every chance I get at having friends! I'm starting to think you're just paranoid...

I do know what's best for you, because I AM-

No. You're. NOT!

P... Pinkie?...

You, are just my very vocal conscience, whom over the years, I've regarded as my friend and companion, even now, I still do... But let's you and I get one thing clear, we may share one body, and one mind, but we are not the same person. I've let you influence me, and give me advice; which most of the time has been right. You seem to forget though that this is my life to live, and while I will gladly take in your opinion and advice, it is still MINE. Do you understand me?

P-P-Pi-inkie... d-don't say that. L-look, we've said a lot of stuff, I-I didn't mean a lot of it- you know that. And I- I know you don't mean that about you and me...

*Huff* Look, just... be quite so I can go to sleep. I have an interview tomorrow.

Pinkie, please don't end the night on a sour note! I'm sor-

I said goodnight... Pinkamena.

... good night...

------------------------------------------------Gilda-----------------------------------

Ah, I love the smell of anticipation for a gonna-be successful plan in the morning! Smells like... the imminent defeat of my opponent.

I worked out the last little details of my plan over breakfast, and the ride over to the 'office'; scopeage on this shit. Ok, I'm going to... to... actually, I'm pretty much going to do what I've been doing, but with a little more effort put into it. This girl is an enigma, and cause of that, I'm not sure how much she told me about herself was legit. I also made sure to make a call to F&F this morn so they could keep tabs on her.

I got two things going for me though: the hope that she'll slip so, so I can catch her lying, then pounce like a puma. Or number two... and applies to having Flim and Flam locate her:

There's always the Cakes. Little cue-ball spent the night there apparently, Flim and Flam discovered that little fact cause, as it turns out, the Cakes pay protection money to them.

Gotta love all these little coincidence's that just pop in my life, huh?

I feel a little bad about getting the two of them involved, only because I actually know them, but that being said, they might just be the best leverage I got. Pinkie Pie seems like the type of person to take friendships seriously. Knowing that... well, I'd certainly hope she'd do anything to keep them safe. Heh heh. Now do to her unpredictable nature, I told Flim and Flam to be at the ready at all times, as soon as it's noon. Pinkie may not whoop anyone's ass, like Applejack did, but I'm not taking any chances.

It's eleven-o-clock now. More than enough time to psych myself up, and prepare for the showdown of th e minds that's about to go down.

You're ass is mine Pie...

----------------------------------------------Pinkie----------------------------

...

...

... Are you still not talking to me?...

Hmph!

Come on Pinkie, I said sorry! I mean it to, I really didn't mean to upset you!

There she goes again... It's not uncommon for the two of us to disagree from time to time, happens to everyone, but this time was different. I feel very strong about my stance on Cup and Carrot, and I don't feel like she really understands, or even respects my feelings on the subject. All through waking up, to the shower, through breakfast, and now, when were at the parking lot, she still wouldn't leave me alone...

It's not about being sorry, its about not understanding why I feel the way I do about this.

I do though! How could I not!?

Just a little closer to the door, once I'm inside, that should keep her quiet for a little while... I could always... no, no it's already eleven-fifty, I should really-

Look, I admit I could've been considerably less rude to Cup, but I was just- Nevermind.

Ok, ya know what!-

I slung the backpack over my shoulder, throwing it against the wall.

We need to talk.

But... we are talking...

I mean face-to-face.

'Face-to...' Pinkie, we haven't done that in a long time, a-are you sure you have the energy?

I backed myself against the wall from three seconds ago, sliding down until I was on the ground. I crossed my legs... closed my eyes.......... calmed my breathing........... and let go.

---<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<[-]>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<[-]>-<->-<->-<->-<->----

When next I opened my eyes, I was greeted by the familiar plane I hadn't seen in quite a time.

I was sitting in a serene abyss, colored like the bluest sky, fog and mist surround me. No floor lies beneath me, but I don't fall through the clouds; the opposite rather. I slowly rise, standing without worry or doubt, kept my breathing still, and walked forward. Wonder what time it is... this is usually a fairly lengthy process to accomplish.

The mist was thicker this time, made sense considering how discombobulated my thinking is right now. Out into the distance, I saw her, further into the endless, peaceful realm.

Her back was to me, but I knew it was her; I mean, who else would be in here? As I knew she would, she was the spitting image of me; me deep pink button-up, the darkened ironed jeans (courtesy of Cup), and the loafy's. The only stark difference was her hair. It was straight, flat, and un-moving, coming down to the end of her shoulder blades. I kept walking until I was just behind her, either she didn't hear/notice me, or she was trying to ignore me. Either way, I needed to hurry this along.

"Pinkamena."

The call of her name; her real name I suppose it is, caused her to jump, and quickly face me. I forgot how long it'd been since I'd seen her eyes. They were her own if you ask me, where as mine were a light cerulean, hers were the purest of blue. Normally they're calm, steady, firm even. Now... well now, she looked like she wanted to jump out of her... 'skin'?...

"P-Pinkie! Y-you did it! Well, I mean, I-I knew you could, but, I just wasn't sure if-" I held up a hand to stop her. I wanted to talk to her, and make it relatively quick, so for a change, I had to be the grownup of the two of us.

"Stop. I brought us here, so we could work this out, hopefully in a timely manner, and we can both have some peace in our minds."

"B-but, um... aren't you worried someone will see you? What if they disrupt the connection?" I rolled me eyes, was she seriously doing this now?

"The only way I'll lose connection, is if someone comes over and gives me an F5."

"But what if-"

"Enough!"

She was silent after my outburst. I didn't mean to be so, well, mean to her, but I wanted to speed this along.

"Just hear me out, and I'll listen to whatever you have to say, ok?" She nodded in a timid fashion. "Good... now look, we've been on the road for a long time now, and it's been just you and me-" I gestured to her and myself. "-for even longer. Right?"

"Yeah... yeah it has."

"Mama and Papa... were never exactly... supportive, when it came to us, were they? You remember that right?"

"Tch, how could I forget? I don't know how you kept a smile on all those years."

"And you... you know how lonely we've been... right? Ever since Maud..."

"Again, how could I not? Pinkie what does this all have to do with-"

"It has to do with the fact that I don't want to be alone anymore!"

The air was thick, and tense. I've been feeling that way for a while now, we both knew it. This was just the first time I or she have ever openly addressed the issue. The silence lasted a long time...

"Pinkie..." She finally spoke up. "... I'm sorry..." She'd been saying it all morning, but this time her voice sounded so fragile, broken...

"... I know. I just... felt something with them you know? Like our meeting was meant to be. I don't wanna say it was destiny, nothing that dramatic, but in the few days we knew them, I felt... I felt like... I-I felt like I mattered... I've been alone for so long, Pinkamena... I didn't want to ruin any chance I had at really real happiness... I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did... but I don't want to lose them." It's been a long time, since I've been this honest with... anyone, let alone myself. It wasn't suppose to be this way.

But nothing ever is, is it?

---------------------------------------Gilda-------------------------------------

Twelve o' five... I was probably over reacting, but her being so late was irking me. It's never a good idea to be late to an interview anyway, let alone one of mine, but five minutes late? You're supposed to be five minutes early, at least. I could call her- crap, she's got no phone. Oh! I'll run by Sugarcube- dammit, that's right, she never told me she was staying there... um... smoke signals?-

'Can you feel the sunshine?~...

The hell!? Oh yeah... Flim and Flam.

"Why the hell did I give them that ringtone..." Taking the phone out of my pocket, I answered my fellow esteemed offendees.

"Yo whut up guys? Everything all good 'n the hood?"

"What does a coat have to do with this call, little wing?" Oooh my God...

"Nothing, nevermind Flim."

"Flam."

"Don't fucking start!" I heard their little chuckles on the other side of the line, surprisingly, I didn't feel like punching them in the throats, like (I thought anyway) I normally would've. Hmph... maybe... we just might be friends; kind of, after all.

"Ha ha ha... anyway, to business. We have some... interesting news, little wing-"

"Ok, hold on, question."

"What now?"

"... Is it 'little wing', 'little birdie', or just 'birdie'? You guys go back and forth all the damn time!"

"Aw, but variety tis the spice of life; keeps one on the toes! The punchline for Flim and I is that, our actions in the grand scheme of things, on one truly knows."

"... ... You guys haven't rhymed shit in a long time, I thought that was suppose to be your guys' scary shtick."

"In our defense, at the time, we thought we were going to kill you. We never could have predicted our current business arrangement, rhyming constantly, and consistently good , is not exactly a simple feat... oh well... what's a killer or two to do?..."

"Oh, you're funny... one last quick question..." Don't know why I'm asking this, but the mention of our partnership brought up an inquiry I've had for a while. "About our partnership, is it-" Choose your words correctly, don't sound desperate or weak. "-um... satisfactory?"

"... Hm... interesting question... Flim?"

"Well, without a doubt, we've had worst. I would wager none of our other business ventures were quite so... casual." That got my attention.

"'Casual'?"

"Indeed. The Dogs for instance; the twelve men. We dictate them out of trust, respect, brotherhood and fear. In past ventures, if we weren't leading it, we were typically given our instructions through a cutout, or message of some sort, rarely; if ever meeting with them. Our relationship with you is... well, give or take our purposeful cryptic ways, and your occasional enotional tangents, bouts of narcissism, and disturbingly recurring mental breakdowns-" Oh, well gee fuck you t- "- I would say our relationship with you is... nice." W-what?

"Nice?..."

"I must concur with Flim. Minor personal differences aside, and overlooking that silly little attempt on your life, and your attempted blackmail, you have been good to us. We only hope that we have served you adequately. Of course free alcohol and female liaisons is positive in your favor as well, but in all seriousness, you are potentially the best person we've worked with, or rather; depending on how much this meas to you, you are the one we... care about the most." Oh... wow, that was... unexpected to say the least. I didn't think they thought so highly of me... I feel like such a dick now...

"U-uh... thanks guys, that actually... actually does mean a lot. Oh yeah, that's right you had something to tell me, huh? Sorry for the sudden interruption, and personal question... *ahem* so what's up?" And back to business as usual.

"Oh yes, that. Pinkie Pie is right under your window."

"Oh sweet than- WHAT!?" I slammed myself into the window, and immediately looked as downwards as I physically could.

"That is a lovely image to behold, birdie."

"Son of a bitch, she's right there! The hell is she doin' just sitting there? Is... is she dead!?"

"*Sigh* No, Gilda. From what we can deduce, at least just by looking, it almost looks as if... she's in a meditative state, of sorts."

"'Meditative... state'... Ok, I'll bite- WHAT!?"

"Just as Flim said, a state of meditation. Why, or how she is performing this fete, we cannot say, but given her facial expressions, it would appear she is having an inner struggle of some sorts."

"'Facial expressions'?... Where are you two!? I don't even see your car!"

"Does it matter? As long as we can survey our surroundings efficiently, our location is not important."

"Ugh, fine, I really don't care right now... so what now Should I just go kick her awake, or somethin'?"

"We would advise against it. To achieve such mental clarity, so as to go into said state of mind, takes an extreme amount of focus, and concentration. If this 'Pinkie Pie' is anything as we suspected her to be, going along with what you told us about her, we can only speculate that this is not an easy feat for her."

"Your point is?..."

"Sudden, or violent awakening from her current state may potentially be... hurtful. Mentally especially."

Dammit... "Alright then, I guess... so what, when she gets in here, pretend I didn't see anything?..."

"That would be best." I finally decided to remove myself from the window.

"Fine then. I'll tough it out."

---<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<[-]>-<->-<->-<->-Pinkie<->-<->-<->-<->-<[-]>-<->-<->-<->-<->----

We talked about a lot of things. Somethings we already knew, somethings we never really talked about; a little of everything and nothing at once. Most of it was about the past, really. Mainly stuff we regretted, missed opportunities, situations we were in, and how we felt about them; airing out the laundry basically. Some of the things she said surprised me. I... I just didn't- how could I not have know...

"... I hated them, you know. When they threw us out, into the wet, hard rain that night. A backpack, scraps for nourishment, barely any dollars to our name, and each other. I hated Maud for leaving. Unjustly I suppose; she was bettering her life. I hated the schools for always thinking something was wrong, the other children for never taking the time to know us; not just them- everyone! Just thinking about it makes so!-" She clenched her fists, and flung them up to her head, clenching at her hair, looking like she was in pain at the whatever thoughts she was having.

I was scared she was going to hurt herself! Lunging forward, I grasped her shaking hands by the wrists, pulling them down with a tug.

"Pinkamena, stop please! You can't keep going on like this, it's not good for you!" She snapped her head up at me to trap my eyes in her glare.

"I wanted to hurt them. I'd be lying if I said I still didn't wish I could. 'Not good for me'- there is a lot of things I feel that aren't good for me! I'd rather be alone then feel that ice-cold pierce of betrayal again. How could I not? Knowing that everyone could hurt us at anytime!?"\

"You don't know that! True, yes, we have meant some meanies in the past, some very very BIG meanies, but that's just a had full of people! You can't seriously look me in the eye, and tell me that every single person out there, ever, is terrible! You just... haven't met the right people, or the right person, to care about; and you will! You just have to take a chance." Pinkamena held my gaze for some time after that, just staring at me, her glare growing softer by the second. After, I''m not sure how long, her head went downcast, hair obscuring her face.

"That... is the difference between you and me. You can... forgive, move on, even l... even love. I can't, Pinkie. I can't just look for the silver lining and hope for the best! You're the one who goes out there and tries things! You're the one that trust people! If I was in your worn out shoes, I'd just crawl into a hole somewhere where it's safe!" She raised her head back up to me, eyes glimmering with tears. "I've tried my best to protect you from these feelings; the way I am is no way to live... that's why it has to be you... not me. I'm sorry I I snapped at Cup, but I was really thinking of what's best for you... but maybe... maybe you don't... need me anymore."

W-what? No, N-NO!

"No! T-that's not true! I'll always need-" I felt her index finger on my lips, with the saddest smile I've ever seen.

"No... you don't. You've shown that you're more than capable of making your own decisions; good ones at that. I see now that, I'm holding you back, and for that I apologize." Don't leave, please!

I roughly shoved her hand off of my mouth. "Stop it! You've never once held me back, ever! I need you! I can't... when I said we aren't the same person... I meant that you deserve to be your own person. I didn't mean I wanted you to leave!..."

"I know, Pinkie. But... there can only be one of us, you know that. I would rather it be you, someone like you, who is... you're just a good person! Without you, I think I would have self-destructed a long time ago-"

"And without you, I could be dead, or worse! See!? W-we need each other... don't go, please!... *sniff* You're- *hiccup* y-you're all I have left, too..."

I can't stop it... I'm crying now, where it's suppose to be my happy place, I'm here weeping like a baby! Life without you... w-what if I get hurt!? O-or taken advantage of!? Who's gonna help me??

Before I could continue my horrifying train of thought, Pinkamena embraced me.

"I'l always be around, I promise you that. B-but I think it's time for that little voice to go away; for you to be on your own... I'm quite tired, honestly. I... haven't slept in years."

"H-ha-haven't slept?"

"I've been awake, watching over you for almost seven full years now. It was the only way you could sleep soundly at night. Dreamless, yes, but better than how you were."

"Pinkamena..."

"Go, Pinkie. You're already pretty late to Gilda's interview, aren't you? I think you can handle this without me. I'm going to... rest..... now."

She let go of me, and fell down to the transparent floor. Fearing for her safety, I tried to catch her before she hit the ground. I couldn't.

She smacked against the ground, and I along side her after my failed catch. I tried shaking her with my hand, but to no avail; she was already fast asleep.

"P-Pinkamean?..." I could hear her snores...

Oh no... oh no, oh no, oh God, nononono....

I was panicking, arms flailing around, shrunken pupils, the whole deal. The ever looming feeling of loneliness crept back into my veins; a feeling I haven't truly felt in years.

It feels like a ball of ice is in my tummy... m-my hearts in my throat, a-am I sweating!? What do I do, what do I do!?

The negativity was to much for the plane to handle, before I could stop it, I was flung from the only peace of mind I really have.

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I awoke with a jolt to the senses. If I didn't know what just happened, I was sure I'd have had a heart attack. Everything was as I left it though. Backpack smacked against the wall, empty parking lot, and myself on the dirty, warm pavement. I jumped back up, and dusted myself off, trying to re-present myself.

Pinkamena?...

No reply...

Pinkamena... I won't let you down. I don't have as much faith in myself without you here, but if you believed in me so strongly, then, that's all the motivation I need! Whenever you decide to awake from your slumber, I'll have-!... well I don't know yet, but I'll make you proud darn it!

Strengthening my resolve, I marched inside Gilda's office, and knocked on the door, ready to face with whatever life would through at me from now on, by myself, but not alone.

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Heh heh heh... there you are, Pie...

"Come on in!"