Meeting the bulk of the group, I pointed the spiked tip and rammed it into the first troll. The blow pushes him back into the group of feral beast, swinging the club, I land a body blow to a troll coming from the side.

Channeling mana through my body, I ended my defense stance and went into a full assault.

The club comes down on a troll, ripping it’s shoulder apart. Within the span of a few seconds four trolls laid dead or incapacitated. The witnesses slowed their approach, hearing the moans of their fallen brethren.

Stepping away from the fallen trolls, careful to keep my distance from those razor sharp claws. Both sides filled with trolls roaring and slamming their fist on the ground.

I kept my sights on both sides of the burnt smelling rot, until one side started to part. A troll with grey fur stepped behind the first line of young muscled trolls. This troll simply towered over the group, it’s red eyes observing me.

As it turns it’s head to give off orders a black collar adorns it’s neck.

“Oh fuck me!” I said aloud, the collar was an indication that someone is in control of these things. This was one those times I regret killing these guys. Sure they are blood thirsty beast, but they did it on on a need to survive.

“Why! Why isn’t this every easy,” I mumbled, I focused on the giant of a mountain troll!

Taking deep breaths, my mind cleared, now I have to thinking of a way to not just hack and slash these guys. The aged troll barked orders and the younger tolls charged.

“Not much of a choice!” I grumbled under the thunderous charge of the foul smelling beast.

Pumping mana into my legs I rushed forward. As I neared the group I sent a flow of mana to the ground. I hurtled over the charging group, landing I made a beeline for the head boss.

Stopping in front of the wall of claws and fur, I halted my charge the point of the club facing the white beast. Charging mana into the weapon and my upper torso, I lunched the thirty pound piece of metal and wood at the leader of the pack.

With his exit blocked by the crowding trolls he was held in his place doomed by the incoming club. The club impales it’s into the trolls torso, the mana imbued weapon releasing it’s charge driving through the mass of flesh.

The crowd of troll looked on as their leader falls to the ground, blood leaving his body.

“I’m sorry!” I said to the downed beast as the mass of feral beast went into a frenzy. Charging my voice I let out a shriek, sending a waves of ear shattering noise, causing the trolls to cover their ears, quickly but surely moving away from the area.

“Really hate doing that,” I rubbed my throat the soreness kicking in. Walking up to the downed boss, I pulled the club out of the smelly corpse.

Grabbing the collar I ripped it off it’s furred neck. The gem faded causing the runes to fade. The script was not any that I’ve seen, used by a unicorn enchanter nor was it anywhere near minotaur standards.

It was oddly sloppy but functioned nonetheless. Pocketing the enchanted device I headed back to the tree house, my headache was just to much to deal with right now.

Though I spoke too soon, a flash of white blinded me.

“My retinas!” I screamed in agony.

“In the name of Celestia we order you to lay down your weapon!” A voice screamed from above.

“My fucking retinas!” I continued to rub my eyes. I could only see blobs at this point, and coupled with my splitting head I was really getting pissed.

“Put your weapon on the ground,” Whoever this was I will make sure my club’s going to...

Something exploded behind me sending debris into my back.

“Ah! Now my ears,” I used the club as cane to keep from falling over, one hand rubbing on the side of my head.

As my vision cleared I troops surrounded me, a grisly old man was shouting orders at me as his horn glowed.

“What!” I yelled, pointing to my ear, “I can’t hear you!”

The group of guards circled around me, their spears at the ready. Which is odd since they were all unicorns, which begs to question why they needed spears?

The guard continued to mouth off something and pointing to the ground.

“What!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, gonna need some honey and lemon after this.

A guard moves in slowly and in my vision. I stand still waiting for them to get closer. When they were in striking distance my free fist rocketed to their face, knocked to the ground.

The guard in charged ordered something and the guards came charging. Gripping the club with both hands, I swiped it into the pointed mass of spears. Breaking one but missing the others. The spears stopped just mere inches away from my face.

The old guard walked up towards the little circle of death, “I said...put your weapon down!”

His horn glowed a dark shade of blue.

“Yeah...” What little mana I had left coated my body, a precaution in this situation, “How bout we just walk away...Oh fuck berries!”

My gaze fell on the incoming person or persons. The look on her face was enough to almost make me wet myself. It was same face that I’d meet, that I knew I was in trouble.

“Astral!” Luna’s voice caused both the guards and to drop our weapons, nursing a pair of ruptured ear drums. Was this for using that screech attack on the trolls...I might just have tinnitus after this!

Luna lands a few feet from the group, each step cracked the damp earth.

“You are in so much trouble,” her voice was full of venom. The guards moved out of her way, while Celestia looks on not quite sure what to do.

She stands before me, then a fingers clasp onto my ear, “Your coming with me right now!”

“Okay. Okay, just let off the ear pulling!” I pleaded under her iron grip. Dam if only I wasn’t tired...or if she wasn’t a Alicorn I could bear this.

“Do not talk back!” she used that amplified voice thing and I could feel the ringing starting.

Celestia walk towards the group of guards, all the while mom drags me back to town.

“Seriously! Why!” I screamed, while nursing my ear. We neared the edges of town and then, only then did she let go.

She crossed her arms still angry at me. We remained silent as we headed back to the house tree...library place.

“Why!” I finally said in this annoying silence. “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Please don’t do this,” there is just no way she would be okay with the whole me, thing, “why are acting like I’m your actual son!”

She remained silent keeping her gaze straight ahead.

“I you’ve looked through Fen’s memories then you should what I’ver done...hell just that alone warrants any chances of me being your son.”

“That’s nothing compared to...”

“Compared to what!” I cut her off, “that you just wanted some attention and so you little tantrum.”

She turns around glaring at me with those...eyes, “does thou count, plunging the world in forever night a tantrum.”

Her voice shook the windows almost shattering them.

I stared into her eyes, “You and I both know it wouldn’t have lasted...and compared to what I’ve done...”

I grew quite turning my eyes away from her. Until I felt I myself in that comforting embrace.

“We’re both big fools,” she nuzzles my cheek, wrapping her wings in this ever-growing embrace, “but I’m still mad at you.”

She ended the embrace, turned around and headed for our destination.

“Please I done more dangerous adventures compared to this little spat,” I grew agitated, since her actions made no sense.

“I know...but that not why I’m mad at you.”

“Then what is it,” I moaned through her constant evasion. “What has got you so angry?”

She turns her head a smirk forming on her lips, she continued to walk forward letting the silence annoy me...just like what mom would do. Then again she technically is my mother but...No! Just no! This headache is enough and thinking about inter-dimensional child custody is just making it worse.

As we entered the dominion of the crazed purple woman, we were greeted by the weirdest site imaginable. For some odd reason all six of the element bearers and a pink Alicorn Princess are tied up with this odd green rope. Fen was sitting a top said Alicorn’s rear drinking, what I believed to be a can of apple soda.

“What happened here!” Luna stepped forward only to have said green rope attack her. I pulled her back before she was ensnared by the living rope.

I hear muffled voices and taking a better look at the hostages, their mouths were gagged by the green thing. Turning to Fen, “So what happened!”

He took one last sip from the red can, “ They opened Sea Green's compartment.”

Fen went back to drinking the soda all the while I was dumbstruck. I mean why would she have...oh god this was for S&M night.

“Let me deal with this,” I sighed, stepping forward the green rope came at me.

“Pickles,” I said aloud. The rope stopped it’s charge freezing in mid air. Then in seconds the rope receded curling up into a small round coil.

Fen whistled, while the women groaned in relief...I hope.

“Can’t believe that safe word still works!” Fen continued to drink the can of soda, spilling a few drops on his chairs dress. Wait!

“How did you know...you were watching us weren’t you!” I pointed at the kitten.

“Yup!” Was all he said.

“And I do have to say...she used that butter like a champion!” Luna added, magicking the woman back up right.

“Dammit Fen! Even that,” I yelled my contempt at the kitten.

“Hey! If you two had done it in the bedroom instead of the kitchen then
I might not have seen you two going at!” He shot back and honestly I had no response to that. I went ahead and place back the club and rape rope into their compartments. I was going to give the soda drinking cat the cold shoulder until a thought popped in my head.

“Wait a minute! We were trapped in that spell for like a few minutes...how did you have time to tell her all that...Fen?” I questioned the familiar while he floated to Luna’s shoulder.

“Ah! To be honest...I don’t know, that’s usually how the spell works.” Fen nuzzled up next to Luna, “Besides, your with Luna again so does it really matter?”

“No, it’s just...” Wait, somethings not right here. Fen is way to calm for this, and Luna is way to accepting... “No. It can’t be.”

I stared at the smiling kitten, Luna quizzically looking between the two of us.

“Finally figured it out,” Fen smirked, rising from Luna’s shoulder.

“Y-you ratted me out!” I gasped. Fen continued to float around Luna. “H-how. Why?”

“It’s simple Astral! What ever my mistress wants...She get’s,” His voice grew deeper and his eyes glowed. I stared back at Luna a smile adorning her face.

“No. No. No!” I stepped backwards until the wall kept me from moving back, “This is just like my birthday.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say it was that bad!” Fen announced above me.

“Ah, does anypony know what’s going on,” a confused Applejack asked.

“Shh! It’s just getting good,” Pinkie sat crossed legged, eating a bowl of popcorn. While the rest of the group looked on in utter confusion, and I receded into a fetal position.

“Calm down Astral,” Fen cooed from his perch on Luna’s shoulder. I looked up to the smiling familiar, “And if you must know...she’s known since my return.”

He started to purr as Luna smiled and petted the loyal subject. My mind was blank just thinking of the fact that my entire life was planned and orchestrated by none other than the supposed woman that birth me.

“This is all make sense now,” I mumbled, I mean how was it that she could so quickly accept me and...

“Oh! My God...Was the whole assassination thing planned,” I yelled at the two perpetrators, “was me coming here also in your plans!”

I stood up to stare in those familiar eyes, but the person behind them showed only confusion. “Was me coming here a part of your plan.”

My whispered sentiment sent her aback, and honestly I'm down right pissed. If she had planned all this out then there was no way in tartarus that I’d...I don’t really know what I’ll do, but I could not. Will not be used like this.

Clunk! The world around me went dark and the sight of the oaken floors greeted me.

“Sorry Astral!” I heard Fen’s voice above me, “Whoops!”

An Equestrian thesaurus lands next to my head.