0-0-0-0-0

The slow, steady rumble of thunder lulled heavily above, clashing storms roaring ephemeral hungry and indecipherable exclamations throughout the sky. He could feel deep tumbling clash of each thunder strike, he knew it on some level. But for some reason, everything felt quite... dulled.

William didn't know how long he simply stood in place, staring down at the spot between his hooves.

Sometimes, he didn't even know why he bothered.

He didn't see the looming shadow in the darkness of the entry hall, nor even hear her approach, but he could still feel her nearby regardless. The empty, gnawing pit in the bottom of his stomach didn't seem to stop. He let out a silent sigh through his nostrils, forcibly, slowly, gradually drawing his head upward, tired eyes meeting hers for the briefest of moments.

“A'ight, dude,” Eris stated firmly, arms crossed over her chest. “What the fuck happened.”

“Always so eloquent, sister dearest,” William responded with an empty, plastic little smile. She could see it plainly even though he was trying so hard to appear normal, and the longer that she observed him the clearer it became. The tiny false look of forcefully upturned lips, the expressionless, hollow almond eyes just a shade off from normal staring back at her, even the way that his little ears drooped just a bit, altogether like he was fighting just to hold himself up. The sight left her feeling as though she had been struck in the heart, and the fuming rage for that mare had her seething, but once again she just couldn't quite seem to cling to that anger the longer she looked down at him.

“... Is everything alright, Eris?”

“Will,” she exhaled through her nostrils. “Don't make me repeat myself. What. Happened.”

“Nothing,” he continued with that plastered on look. “Everything is fine.”

“Bullshit,” Eris's crimson eyes narrowed. “I let you go by yourself for ten seconds and everything goes wrong. I saw her say something to you,” and at this William visibly tightened ever so slightly. “She probably doesn't even remember us, dude. That bitch is nothing but trouble. You never look like that, so what –“

“Drop it.”

Irritation sparked in her further, and her knuckles began to ache from how tightly she was squeezing her fists. She wanted to push more, she wanted to outright reprimand him for thinking that she was just going to let it go after seeing him so obviously in distress; and that look, that awful look in his eyes set something off. Something wrong, and no matter how hard she tried to press onward, something about that stare shut down her impulse. The fact that she couldn't quite place her finger on what exactly that was just made her even more uneasy.

She sighed and finally rubbed her face with her mismatched hands, letting a paw run down her face until she dropped her arms to her side, limp and slouching.

“... You know I care about you, right?”

“I-” William started as his eyebrows rose just a bit. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, glancing away before returning to a more upright position. “I care about you too, Eris.”

“So you know that I'm not trying to be a douche,” her talons slid to her thigh as she shifted her weight, his tense gaze following her movements very closely. “But you can't just tell me to, like, drop it and expect me to quit caring. You don't wanna talk about it?” Eris leaned on her heels again, tail twitching behind her like an off beat clock. “Fine. But remember that whatever she said to you is bullshit, and you're full of it too if you think I'm not gonna be watching your back like a freakin' hawk.”

William started to respond, his wide eyes shifting over her face like he was searching desperately for something that he couldn't quite find. He spoke; or at least, tried to. His mouth opened and closed several times in rapid succession before he finally pursed his lips, swallowing hard. When he finally did manage to bring himself to speak, it came out cracked and low, his head dipping, voice so coarse that if Eris hadn't been standing so close she wouldn't have heard him at all.

“... Thank you, Eris.”

Her response was cut short when she felt the sudden pressure of his forehead against her stomach, likely the highest that he could reach without standing on his back hooves, and even then it was blatant that he was stretching as much as he could to carefully push against her. Eris's heart twinged as she let out another sigh through her snout, ever so quietly slipping her asymmetrical hands behind his head and gently pulling him closer to hug him. It struck her even harder then, that powerful feeling in her chest. If there was ever any form of contact, William was almost never the one to initiate it. There was trust in every muscle as he squeezed her as tightly as his little hooves would allow, and although she had questions firing one after another in her head a couple of things finally began to click together.

“I've got your back, too,” William pulled away eventually, inconspicuously rubbing his damp eyes with the crook of his foreleg, sniffling and clearing his throat quickly. But Eris still saw the tiny, relieved smile – a real, genuine sort of happiness that lingered for only the barest of moments, but it rang inside her with an echoing warmth that blossomed on her own sparkling grin.

She found herself wanting very much to be the cause of that look again.

“C'mon, my dude,” Eris cracked her back as he stepped away, her relaxed posture even starting to spread to him a little. “Let's go find Dad and split. They didn't even bring pizza to this shitshow, can you believe it?”

“A piping slice of unhealthy pie does sound lovely right about now,” William agreed genially as he followed and walked with her, making their way down the darkened hall and away from the blustering light and noise. He wasn't even certain of where they were headed, but at this point, he didn't really care. It was leaving the party, and it was with Eris. Nothing else seemed to be very high on his list at that moment.

“Aw, dude, totes. Extra grease on mine,” she let out a longing sigh. “Swear to god if I finally get one that's made with hay I might actually slap someone.”

William let out a little titter as he trotted alongside her, the congenial, warming smile growing an almost unnoticeable bit. Almost.

“I find it strange just how much I miss meat products,” he thought aloud as more of the torch lit columns grew in number the closer they drew to one of the many circular stairwells. “Considering this particular body, and how consistently I've maintained a relatively vegetarian diet, I would think that the attraction to such things would have faded by now.”

Eris leaned on the banister with a cocked eyebrow, staring as he awkwardly climbed the stairs next to her.

“Yeah, that is kinda weird,” she rubbed her chin with a singe talon. “I mean, horses don't exactly eat a lot of steak.”

“It's this wretched new body that's the problem...” William grumbled, brows furrowing tightly. “I mean, I think I understand what Father was attempting, swapping us around to fool that 'Council' – but leaving Neil in my – my – actual body while I get stuck in this facsimile of a preexisting pony seems more than a tad insane.”

“Have you met Dad?” Eris snorted as she helped him climb a particularly tall step. “He doesn't do anything normally. It's great.”

“I disagree,” his eternal scowl returned with a vengeance. “Or perhaps it's all just some elaborate practical joke, and I'm the punchline. Regardless,” they reached the top of the stairs, a much more brightly lit purview of candle sconces and torches along the pillared hall greeting them with the sight of armored stallions patrolling vigilantly. “I intend to bring this up with Father post haste. This needs to be rectified. I miss having hands, Eris.”

“I dunno...” she said jokingly and turned to walk backwards, her tail swishing like a guiding sort of rudder. “Pink is a real good color on you. Pretty cute.”

“I am not cute!”

William's cheeks reddened considerably before he cleared his throat, not realizing how much he'd raised his voice. Eris's grin only widened gleefully and he dodged the looks from the mildly surprised golden armored guards, firm frown etched onto his face.

“I'm not cute,” he seethed openly. Much more quietly, but still transparently frustrated.

“I disagree,” she winked as she swiveled gracefully on one cloven hoof, continuing to guide him onward.

“I just-” he started and promptly stopped himself, letting out a frustrated sigh through his teeth. “You aggravate me. This aggravates me,” he cast a hoof down at himself and almost tripping again, looking even more flustered. “Eris, please understand, I – hate – this. I hate it so much. I don't want to be some-some copy of a colt I've never even seen, if Father was even being honest about that,” William's expression shifted from that of intense irritation to something more hollow, weary. The cold, biting bitterness in his tone couldn't have been mistaken for anything else, and it caught Eris a bit off guard, though she was quick to not miss a step. “I'm human. I miss my old body. I don't like this. I don't like change. I just-” he started to wring his hands together before the realization struck hard, like it had been doing ever since, that he didn't have hands anymore. His throat clenched up suddenly and his eyes burned, the flush of shame from recognizing that Eris had stopped dead in her tracks to stare at him only made it worse. It felt like every heartbeat was painful and it became difficult to draw breath, like the air was growing thinner by the moment. Like he could hear some wretched, pained screaming coming from deep within and begging to burst out.

But William did what he did best. What he had trained himself to do, what he could do no matter what type of body he had. He pushed it down.

He pushed it all down, throttled that feeling and drowned it, crushed it back into the dark places, forcibly clearing his mind and shuddering hard as he swallowed the painful lump in his throat. And when he finally looked back up at Eris, he was slightly surprised to see just how thoroughly, utterly disturbed she looked.

“It's fine,” he lied through his teeth, and he didn't even bother with the false smile this time. He knew, he could feel it in his core that Eris could see right through him. He didn't know why that upset him so much, but he pushed that down, too. It could all just go right to the same place for all he cared, so long as he could stay nice and calm, keep the ache in his chest from spreading, ensure that his mind was clear so that he could focus on the task at hand.

At hoof.

The task at hoof.

And that awful clawing feeling started right back up again.

“... He's in here. Or, should be,” Eris said quietly as they approached a large wooden door set in the stone wall. Unimpressive, unguarded, it looked just like all the other doors they had passed, but William still didn't like the look of it. He wanted to take a deep breath, steady himself, brace his spirit for what came next and be utterly prepared.

And of course, Eris gave a single knock and just barged right in, completely disrupting any and all attempts of such.

After all that effort climbing steps, William really shouldn't have been surprised that everything would be going downhill afterwards.

0-0-0-0-0

“Yo!” Eris claimed loudly as she strode confidently into the room, William following close behind. “Dad, we gotta talk-”

William bumped face first into her backside, his words cut off as he immediately jerked backwards, sputtering incoherent indignant half sentences before everything died in his throat. Even Eris stood stunned in silence, the quiet so thick and heavy that it could have been cut with a knife. William could hardly bring himself to breathe, it was difficult to accept what he was seeing as actuality, like his own eyes betrayed him despite the sight before him.

Discord did not look like William remembered him. He didn't particularly look 'recovered' in any sense of the word. In fact, he thought that Discord might have been in better shape when he had been crumpled up on the floor. And bleeding.

And on fire.

“You look like shit,” Eris's dumbfounded stare did not go unnoticed.

“I concur,” William added quietly as the huge door snapped shut behind them. “Perhaps not necessarily in that exact statement, but you have certainly looked better.”

“Gee thanks guys,” Discord responded dryly, his voice coming out in a raspy, low tone. “Nice to know I'm still appreciated for my astounding good looks.”

“What happened?” Eris blurted, staring in shock at the figure before her.

William couldn't necessarily blame her. He couldn't bring himself to blink much either. The draconequus lay with his mismatched hands folded behind his head, that same familiar casual smirk always perched on his lips; but William could see the slight trembling as Discord tried to remain still. Patches of him had either been scorched to a sickly black and ashy gray or burned off completely, revealing blotchy pink blisters and rather painful looking boils similar to severe burn marks littering his upper torso seemingly at random. Even the tip of his tail, which dangled lazily from beneath the sheets covering the lower half of his body, seemed to be worse for the wear, like the end had been set on fire and quickly doused multiple times. A few bandages here and there looked to be both hastily applied and reapplied. A horrible worry gripped his chest and William tried to speak, wanted to express it in motion, and once again couldn't quite bring himself to move.

Finally, after so long, he was here – he was here, in the same room, and William just couldn't bring himself to speak first.

“So how have you kids been?” Discord asked calmly, skirting the question entirely as he turned his head slightly to glance at William, who promptly noticed the bloodshot eyes and heavy bags lingering beneath them. “Been kinda busy lately with chaos-y stuff, you know, no time to slow down-”
“Okay, no,” Eris seethed openly, crossing her arms defiantly. “Dad, why do you look like you had an accident with an easy bake oven?”

“Because I had an accident with an easy bake oven,” Discord grinned, a sharp tooth glinting in the lamplight.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Firstly, language,” he continued as if he hadn't heard her. “Secondly, I have something very important to say.”

They both froze at that, watching as Discord sidled back into the pillows.

“Thirdly,” he held up four talons. “I forgot what the second thing was.”

“D-Father?” William started quietly. Discord grew still for a second, large red eyes locking onto him.

“... Yes?” the draconequus finally gave a little nod of acknowledgment, his smile never waning.

“Are... are you going to be alright?”

And just like that, for some reason, Discord stopped moving. He stopped blinking. He stopped breathing.

He stopped everything.

And then, at last, after an achingly long time, he only laughed.

William's face burned in embarrassment, and he ducked his head slightly. Eris looked between the two, her thin brows furrowed, and she crossed her arms. Discord eventually shook his head, still chuckling to himself.

“You know what?” Discord was positively beaming at this point. “I think everything's gonna be okay.”

William didn't quite know how to respond to that, still shifting uneasily and staring down at his hooves as if he had been caught doing something wrong, even though he still wasn't certain what. But Discord didn't seem to be angry. If anything, he seemed downright pleased.

It made him feel more than a little bit foolish, the chortling draconequus taking pleasure in his confusion. He half expected Eris to be laughing at him, too, and was mildly surprised to see that he was mistaken. She didn't laugh with him. She didn't smile. Eris simply stood there, arms crossed over her chest, fists clenching and unclenching. She wasn't resisting the urge to laugh. She wasn't even looking at Discord, more like looking through him. William wasn't even sure that she was breathing, because she didn't seem to be doing much of that. She was just...

Fuming.

“Discord,” William began as if carefully treading dark waters. “Father. We really have some things that we need to discuss.”

“Agreed,” Eris added quietly, crimson eyes narrowing sharply.

“Well, don't everyone roll out the welcoming red carpet all at once,” Discord rolled his eyes, but seemed to shut down rather quickly when he caught the absolutely venomous look that Eris was giving him. He cleared his throat and sat up a bit more, wincing with the effort. William started to close in but withdrew sharply afterwards, merely standing at attention at his bedside.

“So, is this all part of your 'big plan', too?” Eris didn't move from her stance. “God, dad. You look like death facefucked you with a campfire.”

“That kind of language isn't going to get you ungrounded any sooner!” Discord replied cheerfully. Too much so, William could see it in his face. The restrained, slight trembling of pain that he was keeping back.

“Why all the facades?” he dared to ask at last, and Discord's forced smile faded just a bit. “Please, Father. I – we – need an explanation.”

“I- yeah,” Discord cut himself off, wiping a singed paw down his drooping face. “Yeah. I guess it's about time, huh.”

“Can I even get my actual body back?” William blurted. “What about Neil? What's happening with that Council? Am I really going to turn into some kind of draconequus? What-”

“Okay, okay!” he held up his mismatched hands, eyes widening. “One at a time here, geez.”

William felt a sharp spike of anger, one that he couldn't quite quash. He just wanted to see his father again, he just wanted to speak for a little while, and once again he was being pushed away. He did his best to ignore it, focus only on Discord, who for some reason was giving him a very, very odd look. But it was gone the next moment, the old draconequus closing his bag laden eyes and letting out a long, slow, unsteady breath through his nostrils. When he finally reopened his eyes, he looked just as worn thin and exhausted as before; but the eyes, those crimson orbs burned with something that made William just a hint uneasy.

“I don't know what you're expecting me to say,” Discord wasn't looking at either of them anymore. He just had that lazy little half smile on his lips, the weariness hanging from his drooped shoulders like a weighted shroud.

“What took you so long?” Eris asked quietly. She still hadn't moved from her spot, but William could see from a single glance that her posture had shifted when he wasn't looking. Something about her quiet irritation had faded, replaced with... something else.

“I was real busy,” Discord answered simply, turning that smile to her as well. “Obviously that wasn't the right answer... otherwise you wouldn't be glaring daggers at your old man right now.”

“Why didn't you tell me about the... changes?” William dared to pry, his curiosity beginning to outweigh everything else. “Why wouldn't you tell me that you two were trying to-to... change me?”

“Well I-”

“And without my permission?” he tacked on, the frustration slipping through his tone regardless of his attempt to mask it.

Discord halted his answer like a speeding train hitting a cement wall, his veneer crumbling ever so slightly as he ran a paw down his face. Again came that weary sigh, and he pinched the bridge of his snout as if it were William being the unreasonable one. It left the colt feeling foolish and silently reprimanded all at once, but he stood his ground, awaiting an answer.

“Things weren't supposed to turn out like they did,” Discord struggled, thick brows furrowing slightly. “Things weren't supposed to go cucumber shaped, alright?”

“That doesn't answer my question,” William insisted just a bit harder.

“Chaos magic is... complicated,” he closed his aching eyes again. “Sometimes it's not as easy as just snapping your talons to get what you want.”

“Ain't that the truth,” Eris muttered under her breath, but they could both hear her through the thick silence that followed.

“It wasn't like I was pulling your strings or anything,” Discord held up his mismatched hands with a little chuckle. “I find that doing that starts to make the whole quilt unravel.”
“So... what did you do?” he asked tentatively.

“It... look,” the draconequus finally huffed. “Your body isn't important-”

“I beg to differ!” William blurted indignantly.

“Let me finish!” Discord snapped – actually snapped at him, and William felt all of his bravado shatter in an instant. Discord was a strange one, certainly. Cryptic, bizarre, boisterous.

But he had never, ever yelled at him like that before.

William wanted to contemplate this further, were it not for the shock riddling him.

Discord took in a thin, strained breath, clutching a paw to his chest before forcing a pained grin, easing back into the pillows like nothing had ever happened.

“Just let me finish. 'M-kay?” he was back to almost lounging, but William couldn't forget it now. “It isn't your squishy little human body that's important. In the long run,” he added quickly, noting just how still William had grown. “A body is just a vessel for a consciousness. A collection of organs and appendages for an essence.”

“So... you altered my... my essence?” William braved another attempt at a somewhat clear answer. “My... soul?”

“In a sense, that's how it works,” Eris chimed in. William had almost forgotten she was there from how stiff and silent she had been, between that and his intense focus on the injured draconequus before him. She'd pulled closer to the bed, like Discord's very presence was drawing her in. But her gaze was solely on William. “The body can change and shift, does that all the time. But your soul, your essence,” she held up a single talon. “That's what has the connection to chaos.”

“I don't quite understand.”

“Something I don't quite get either,” Eris continued, her eyes slanting sharply. “Why you thought it was okay to not tell him jack about turning.”

“I thought -” Discord began through clenched teeth before looking at them both long and hard, finally letting out another long, heavy sigh. “I thought we had more time. I was going to tell you, eventually. I really was,” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I just thought that you'd... acclimate a little more easily if... well. Y'know.”

“No,” William felt more lost and confused than ever. “No, I don't know. Please elaborate.”

“A living person's essence is difficult to work with,” Discord, for some reason, began to look very, very uncomfortable, though William couldn't quite parse why. “The closer someone's connection to the element of chaos, the easier it is for a proper draconequus to be... well, hatched.”

William found himself hanging onto his every word, momentarily even forgetting to breathe. But Discord seemed to be enjoying having a rapt audience, even pausing momentarily for what William could only suppose was for dramatic effect, though he felt it would be rude to announce it aloud.

“Ponies have a shoddy connection to what chaos actually is,” Discord explained quietly. “However,” he continued. “Their personal connection to harmony is immense. It helps to balance forces, too. It's where so much of their magic comes from.”

“I thought that magic relied solely on principle of executable intent,” William's mind was abuzz with even more questions than he had before. “It requires a form of focus and energy to implement?”

“Sounds more like unicorn magic than anything,” the elder one nodded once. “That is technically a form of magic, but not my point. Ponies have good intuition for that kind of thing, but not so much for the chaos. Humans, for example, have a much closer connection to chaos,” he added with an intent stare at them both. “But for a draconequus, it's practically second nature.”

“That doesn't really answer why you wanted me to start turning into a draconequus,” William felt at a loss for words, almost desperate, but he refused to show it. “Why not just put my mind, or my essence, or whatever I am, into a draconequus then?”

“Weren't you listening?” he seemed a hint agitated, but his grin grew yet again. “Draconequui aren't exactly common. They aren't born so much as they are made.”

“And you didn't even bother to ask if I wanted to be a draconequus?” William could only blurt, his chest doing that strange twinging again.

“Look, things don't always go as intended, okay?” Discord growled. “I was going to tell you, wasn't I? But things got a little hectic because somebody decided it was a good idea to use chaos powers to cause, you know, mass genocide and time warps!”

William felt silent, head dipped in shame. He could feel Eris tense beside him, and braced himself for the outburst, but none came.

She stayed silent.

Somehow that made him feel worse.

“I just-” Discord started in a much gentler tone, the heaviness clinging to him like a stone around his neck before he sighed again. “... I just wanted you to feel like more of the family.”

“Even though,” Eris seethed openly. “Even though you know what happens when someone turns?”

It was Discord's turn to fall quiet this time. William looked back and forth between the two, something finally clicking.

“... Bad things happen when a draconequus is 'hatched',” his head felt like it was spinning a little as he stared down the burned figure. “That's why there are so few of them here in Equestria.”

“Very bad things,” Eris added quietly. “When you know what happened last time!”

“I had plan nines in place!” Discord shot back defensively. “I had everything covered! At least,” he shifted awkwardly due to his burns. “Until. Well. Y'know.”

“So what's going to happen?” William desperately wanted to sit down. Or maybe curl up under a blanket and never get up. He felt so tired. “Am I still going to... change?”

“You already are,” Discord started to rub his eyes with his knuckles before flinching and hissing. “I mean, there's always going to be some leftover residue from shifting around essences without proper precautions, but I was kinda short on time.”

“What about my actual body?” he pressed on inquisitively. “How do I get it back?”

“Sparklebutt can probably do that,” Discord answered after a moment of thought. “Might take a Tartarus load of energy, but it's not that hard.”

“And then what about Neil?” Eris interrupted. “What exactly are we supposed to do with that?”

“I'll... take care of him later,” Discord let out a little noise. His fists tightened so harshly that his knuckles cracked, seemingly oblivious to the pain it was causing him through the scarring. The air grew thick after that, like it was getting harder to breathe. “I'll make sure of it.”

“So I can get my body back,” William wanted to cry with relief, forcibly stopping himself from rubbing together hands that he didn't have. “Things can go back to normal for a while?”

“Sure,” he nodded in either a relaxed or noncommittal manner, William wasn't sure which. “A big ol' sappy ending for just about everybody. Fun family stuff. I'll fix everything faster than you can snap your fingers,” he added with a sly wink. William didn't even care. He bounced his knees a little, feeling an odd urge that had no particular place to be in him, and could only smile back. An actual little smile. It felt horridly out of place on him, but he didn't care about that either.

Things were going to be normal again.

“Dad.”

Eris didn't have to say anything else. Just a single word was all it took for the lazing draconequus to freeze. Perhaps it was how sharply she said it, the tone, the force in a single word, but William watched the look on his face wash away like a painting dropped in a pond. His calm demeanor returned almost instantaneously, but it was too late. William had seen something in his expression, something that he wasn't entirely certain he was supposed to see.

Something just felt... wrong.

“Hey champ,” he said nonchalantly as he glanced over at Eris, who looked very much not pleased. “You mind if me and Eris here have a little chat?”

“Of course!” William blurted. “I mean, no! I mean, go right ahead,” he stammered, cheeks burning again. He silently berated himself repeatedly before clearing his throat and standing a little taller, emotion draining from his face quickly. He had to look professional after all. “What I mean to say is, I don't mind at all.”

“Neat,” Discord ended simply. He just nodded once toward the door, and after a second William got the message. He drifted past Eris, who was standing still as a statue, her icy gaze never once dropping from the wounded draconequus. She didn't say so much as a word to him as he slipped out the door, though for some reason he found himself hoping that she would. He latched it firmly behind him and let out a shaky breath, his mind blaring with question after question with far too few answers.

And then he was left all alone with his thoughts, and once more found himself in bad company.

0-0-0-0-0

So close now.

The last hour strikes.

Author's Notes:

Thanks for sticking with this cringefire. Last chapter up... eventually.