Enormous, clockwork golems lumbered over the treetops, the stamping of their enormous steel boots cascading through the earth with an intense strength.

The grinding of their plated gears growled as the towering behemoths trampled everything in their path with their monotone synonymous march. They glinted in the light of a grey sun, and nearly outnumbered the same trees that they ground beneath their heels; and should they continue to do so, they would before long.

Thick, roiling bursts of toxic black smog belched forth from them at every orifice, clouding the sky and spiraling down to the earth when there was no more room in the air. The sun was blotted out as gigantic, clawing ebony fingers splattered from the sky, drenching everything beneath it in a steaming noxious brew.

He could no longer tell if the high pitched whistle was emanating from before him, or if it was the sound of his own screaming. William gazed on in horror at the impending menace, the shadow of the colossal mechanical army looming over him as he gazed back at himself through enormous, crimson glass eyes…

The twelve year old William Klaskovsky awoke with a start, the sleep obviously still blurring his eyes. He cracked open his eyelids, the vision of enormous red irises still burned into his memory.

At least, until the realization finally hit him that he really was looking into a pair of large, misshapen red irises.

“Nah, Dad was wrong; you really are kind of cute.”

William shrieked in a pitch much higher than he would have preferred, toppling out of bed unceremoniously and into the floor as he tried to scramble away in terror.

The cackling draconequus hanging from the ceiling by the tip of her tail gave him an upside down, lopsided smile, revealing a row of shining white teeth. Her features were much sharper than that of the only other draconequus William had ever known; more elongated, refined. Younger. To be frank, she looked roughly similar to what William could expect a teenage female Discord would look like.

The fact that Discord was his adoptive father made that slightly awkward.

She dangled from the ceiling for a moment, neither of them speaking as she slowly swung back and forth, staring at him.

“… Well?” she asked eventually. “Not even gonna say ‘hello’, cutie pie?” she asked in a chipper tone, the sunlight filtering in through the window behind her and giving the draconequus an oddly surreal appearance.

“Hello, cutie pie,” William blurted, significantly stunned by the surprise wakeup call. He flushed brightly when she giggled, and dropped lithely from the ceiling to land with a single talon on his bedpost and using it as a springboard. She launched herself with a summersault and landed easily on the floor as casually as she would wave an arm.

The draconequus bowed slightly before the flabbergasted William, who was still struggling to make sense of the situation.

“The name’s Eris!” she beamed at him, extending a single paw in his direction. After a moment, he took it silently in his hand and shook it, uncertain of how to proceed. “You must be Willy!”

“Let me guess,” William narrowed his eyes promptly. “Discord.”

“Whaaaat?” Eris pulled her head back and laughed. “No, Willy. Can’t you even get your own name right?”

“Stop calling me that!” William demanded, straining to get to his feet without taking his eye off of the intruder. Her every single movement just seemed too… close to his personal space.

“Aw, how come?” Eris asked dejectedly, pouting. “I love Willies.”

“Mother!” William said as an uncomfortable heat began rising in his cheeks. “It would appear that the denizens of Hell have broken loose!”

Discord tapped his talons together quietly as he sat across from Rainbow Dash, William’s adoptive mother. And if that weren’t already odd enough, the feminine draconequus that sat across from William at the kitchen table was completely preoccupied making funny faces at him.

It vaguely occurred to him that he was the only one in the entire household that didn’t have red eyes, as his were the same almond brown as his hair; although technically Rainbow Dash’s were more magenta than anything else.

“So…” Discord cleared his throat awkwardly, drumming the tips of his talons across the untouched cup of coffee as the fuming pegasus glared daggers at him. “… I hear Twilight Sparkle is a princess now, or something.”

“Two years, Discord.”

“Rocking the whole ‘wings and tiara’ set –”

“Two. Years!” Rainbow Dash fumed quietly, the clearly uncomfortable draconequus tapping his talons together as the pegasus seethed. “For two years, I had to raise a colt while you were off on your own, Discord!”

“I was busy!” he shrugged hopelessly, a pathetic grin on his face. “Important things – god tier level things.”

William forced his attention straightforward at the quietly giggling Eris, who was silently tickling his kneecap underneath the table with the tip of her tail in an attempt to provoke some kind of response.

His only reply was a bland deadpan.

“Oh, so important that you couldn’t even stop by now and then to say hello?!” Dash slammed her hoof against the table angrily.

Discord held up his paw and talon defensively, and said “Yes, that busy. With really, really important stuff!”

“Like?”

“Well,” Discord began uncomfortably. “It all started off easy enough. But then, there I was, running for my life from this giant boulder in a temple of doom…!”

“Bu~llshit,” Eris held up a single talon, mimicking William’s deadpan and trying desperately not to laugh. “I was there for that. We broke into some guy Lucas’s house and stole his car keys.”

“Ix-nay on the erari-fay!” Discord hissed in panic through his teeth, seeing Rainbow Dash’s clearly unamused expression.

“I want an explanation, Discord,” Dash said quietly in a voice that could have made an ice cube shiver. “And I’m going to give you ten seconds to do it, and I’m going to kick your ass so hard you’ll taste hoof in your mouth for a year.”

"Don't you mean 'or'?"

"No."

Discord was completely silent for a moment, before leaning over the table and kissing the startled mare dead on the lips. He broke away after a moment with a rushed “I need you to look after Eris for me Willy be nice to your new sister ‘kay thanks bye!”

And no sooner had he finished speaking that he promptly exploded into a massive eruption of confetti and rubber ducks.

The quacking chunks of rubber intermingled with glittering confetti raining down from above left them all sitting in shocked silence for a long moment.

At least, until it was interrupted by the bloodcurdling scream of frustration from Rainbow Dash.

Author's Notes:

I really ought to get around to making an 8-Verse group, or something.