Bon Bon huffed a weary sigh of relief as she dropped the laden paper bags onto the table, the refreshing shade a blessing compared to the growing heat. She wiped her brow tiredly, letting her head rest against the cold surface of the table for a few moments. Such a long day it had been, but thankfully it was almost over. She finished putting her things away, eagerly looking forward to finally kicking back and relaxing; she could almost hear her favorite chair calling out to her, practically pleading for her to curl up with a good book in front of the fireplace and doze off at long last. Perhaps cocoa as well, it seemed like a good night ahead for that.

Those pleasant daydreams were rudely interrupted by Lyra kicking in the front door.

“Celestia's teats, Lyra,” she moaned into one hoof. “How many times do I have to tell you, take it easy on the new door?”

“You-you in there, Bonnie?” the mare's familiar voice echoed back from the other room.

“No, it's the ghost of groceries you didn't pick up again,” she replied sarcastically and dropped the stack of neatly refolded paper bags onto the counter. Lyra, however, didn't seem to have an immediate answer.

“So...” she heard Lyra cough awkwardly from the opposite room, another set of hooves audible above the quiet latch of the front door. “Bon Bon, I need you to promise me that no matter what you won't get mad.”

“... Alright,” Bon Bon frowned as she peeked around the corner. “That makes me suspicious, what did you do this time? Is it an-”

The mare's sentence was cut off by her own shriek of terror.

“Sup,” Eris waved with a grin.

Eris was swift to quit grinning when fine china mysteriously transformed into an explosion of fine china chunks after colliding with the wall. The trio ducked for cover in panic, dodging the sharp rain.

“Run, Lyra!” Bon Bon screeched, eyes nearly bulging out of her head as she grabbed for another pot on the shelf. “I'll hold him off!”

“Bon Bon, wait-!”

“FROM TARTARUS'S BLACK HEART, I STAB AT THEE-!” the mad mare bellowed, hurling china one after another like a living catapult.

“Bonnie!”

Bon Bon huffed in exhaustion, frantically chucking plate after plate before finally realizing that her assortment of makeshift missiles were slowly gathering one by one in midair. A faintly luminescent green glow enveloped them, almost like a field, but far thicker than William had ever seen; it didn't stop the projectiles completely, but it did slow them severely to the point that they were hardly moving at all.

“That's an odd sort of spell,” William mused aloud as Lyra gradually let the magic fade, his limbs feeling strangely like pudding. “I would have expected a solid barrier.”

“Alright,” Lyra held out a hoof to the baffled mare. “Take a breath. M'kay, Bon Bon?”

“... Lyra,” she said through her teeth after a moment, warily eyeing Eris and to some extent William, who was still unconsciously using the draconequus as an impromptu shield.”You got some 'splainin' to do.”

“Okay,” Lyra slowly lowered her hoof. “But you gotta promise you won't get mad.”

“At least not any more than now,” Eris coughed into her hand.

When Bon Bon remained silent, Lyra took a humongous breath.

“So... you know that, uh... thing we talked about yesterday morning?”

“... Celestia's teats Lyra, you didn't.”

“I adopted 'em!” the unicorn announced proudly. “See, I knew if I just hung around long enough I'd manage to catch a glimpse or two, but it wasn't just since that pulse went out that it'd been happening, right? Right, so-” Lyra babbled on, apparently oblivious to the steadily reddening of Bon Bon's shaking face. “- I decided to do myself a little snoopin' and found out that it wasn't just one source but several, and wouldn't you know it these little fellas just popped out o' nowhere putting off the same thing and you wouldn't even guess it Bonnie, they're both descendants of Discord! I mean, can you believe it? I-”

“Are – you – completely – insane?” Bon Bon seethed, roiling with a fury that could have put a volcano to shame. “Discord?!

“I know, right?” she replied happily. William ever so quietly tried to hide a little bit more behind the comparatively towering Eris, the explosion imminent and he wasn't particularly in the mood to be coated in ash.

“Lyra – I – you-!” she was nearly foaming at the mouth. “You didn't even ask...!”

“Ah,” Lyra cringed. “Right. That. I, uh... didn't want to... miss my opportunity, and-and it's a good thing too because-”

“Rage,” Bon Bon wasn't so much speaking as she was leaking words through her tightly clenched teeth, her muscles so constricted that William could spot a cord in her neck throbbing. “All – of – my – rage...”

“Is she supposed to swell up like that?” Eris asked with a hint of concern.

“Uh...!” Lyra jerked away quickly, pushing Eris and William toward another room as fast as she could. “You guys go ahead and, um, t-take a seat for a bit, I'm gonna go, er... talk to Bonnie and then we can all get cake or something. Magazine's under the coffee table don't wait up!” she shouted after them as she left, shoving the still frothing Bon Bon down an adjacent hallway and out of sight.

“... That was weird, dude.”

“Indeed.”

Now that they actually had a moment to examine the place, William had to admit that it had a very cozy feel to it. A small fireplace was set snugly into the wall, the mantle above heavily decorated with an assortment of photographs of Lyra and Bon Bon together, as well as a few that were unrecognizable. The wallpaper was a dull sort of beige, it was easily covered by even more pictures and paintings of familiar landscape surrounding Ponyville. Many of them had smudges and looked to have been painted

by an amateur, but the attention to detail was obvious as well. A couple of small armchairs sat snugly beside a sofa in front of the fireplace, and the coffee table left little room to walk but still managed to fit in with the rest of the furniture. The closed windows left the whole place cast in a cool shade, but when opened a single one would have likely lit up the entire room.

“... Well, I'm bored,” Eris dropped lazily onto the couch with a sigh. “Alright, short stack.”

William blinked, turning to the blank faced draconequus.

“... What?”

“Spill,” she reclined with her arms behind her head, letting her tail droop off the edge. “How'd you pull it off? She owe you a favor? Friend of yours?”

“No and no-”

“Blackmail?”

“No,” William frowned, straining to pull himself onto the armchair beside her. He was positive nobody had chairs this unnecessarily tall. One leg dangled wildly as he attempted to kick his way up, flailing the entire way. “I – hmmph! - did not blackmail miss Lyra, thank you very much.”

“So, then... what?” Eris rolled a paw through the air, staring up at the ceiling.

“I have no idea,” he admitted. “We really only just met.”

“Se-seriously?” she balked, sitting up at last. “Are – you're serious? You're screwin' with me, right?”

“I told you that I would rather stay anywhere else rather than an orphanage,” William spat the last part in disdain. “Even if that means putting myself in the custody of a stranger.”

Eris stared.

And stared.

And stared.

“... What?” he shifted awkwardly after several long uncomfortable minutes of silence.

“Oh god, Will. You're a fucking idiot,” Eris pinched the bridge of her nose.

“What?” he frowned, his brows furrowing familiarly. “Just because I don't want to be-”

“And I'm with you, did you not consider that?” Eris glowered at him. William squirmed uneasily, trying to shift off her burning gaze. “I thought you had a plan, that's why I didn't say anything.”

“I do have a plan,” he shot back defensively. “It's just going to take a little bit of effort before I can get mother and Miss Pie back together-”

“Oy vey!” Eris clapped one paw against her forehead loudly. “And here I was thinking you were starting to take my advice!”

“What advice?”

“Dude, let it go!”

“I will not, nor should I!”

“Should too!”

“Should not!”

“Should too!”

Eris and William were nose to nose by this point, the latter standing and nearly hanging off the side of the armchair in order to attempt appearing more authoritative. He stared hard into her unwavering vibrant eyes, a sweat suddenly beading on his brow as a furious nervous itch began forming behind one ear. The mere proximity coupled with the faint scent of what might have been cotton candy seemed to have set something off, caused some reaction to arise, even if he couldn't quite detect exactly what for a few moments. However, when it did become clear to him, it only served to make him extremely, horridly uncomfortable.

“... They've been gone for a while,” William backed off after a bit, face flushed, gracelessly tumbling backward and falling onto his rear.

“... Yeah,” Eris sighed at last, retreating as well and rubbing the back of her neck. “How long you think they're gonna talk? Maybe the trigger happy one will toss us out?”

“I do hope not,” William frowned, shuffling uselessly in his seat as he tried his best to keep his forelegs perfectly posed in front of him. “Although if all else fails I can initiate a new plan.”

“Initiate a new plan,” she scoffed. “My cloven hoof, new plan. Why are you sitting like that?” Eris asked suddenly.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” William struggled to look more natural.

“Are you sure? Kind of... like that,” she tilted her head to the side. “You're sitting all... weird now.”

“No, no,” he insisted, color blossoming in his pink cheeks again. “I am perfectly fine-”

“Obviously not...” Eris grinned mischievously, slinking toward him. He twitched and dodged away at her poke, and again at the next. “C'mon, tell me already, now I'm good and curious. What's up with you?”

“Nothing, I said,” William shied away clumsily once more, heat flowing from his face so freely he could have doubled as the fireplace before them. “And quit that, you're making it w- I, I – don't be so distracting!”

“What's the bother?” Eris taunted him, tickling his nose with the tip of her tail and earning an irritated splutter out of him. “How come you're sitting all scrunched up like that? Why're you acting so weird all of a sudden? How come your face is so r-”

Eris paused mid sentence, and each of them met the other with an expressionless, flat look.

That ended promptly when Eris began furiously giggling.

“I need clothes,” William spat through clenched teeth.

“Is that w-what it is?” she snickered, trying (and failing) to hide her giggles by shoving her paw in her mouth. “C-clothes, huh?”

“I still feel naked without them is all!” he fumed. “We can take care of that as soon as possible I don't need your input thank you very much Eris and oh my they certainly have been gone a long time let's continue this conversation never,” William blurted out all at once. “This is worse than when Pinkie Pie tried explaining the mare body to me in front of Scootaloo, lord.”

Across town, Pinkie Pie sneezed.

Eris reigned in her poorly stifled laughter after what felt like forever.

“... They can't be still talking,” the grinning draconequus shrugged.

“What do you think they're saying?”

The pair paused for a moment, listening intently. However, neither of them could hear anything being said. A hint of concern flickered across William's face, which Eris quietly noted.

“... Wanna go check it out?” she asked quietly, her grin widening.

“After you,” he deadpanned. “I insist.”

“Whatever happened to 'ladies first', huh?” Eris hopped up, smirking.

“What are you-” William frowned in confusion, until he noticed her eyeing his brightly shaded coat. “I am not a filly! I'm not, just – agh!”

Eris did a poor job of hiding her giggles once again as she crept down the hall, the uneasy colt close in tow.

The door the mares had entered was tightly locked. She glanced over to William, who only shrugged back. Eris rapped hard with her knuckles a few times, listening closely and still hearing no conversation.

“... Hello?” she knocked again. “Uh... it's just... y'know. Us. Anypony in there?”

Eris stopped in thought, suddenly giving a grunt of dissatisfaction.

“Ugh,” she muttered loudly enough for William to hear. “Now they've got me doing it. Frickin' – hello?” she knocked again. A rising fear began to make itself known in William's stomach; what if Bon Bon had been so unnerved by them that they'd both snuck out the window? The idea of being left to fend for themselves in someone else's house didn't appeal to him at all.

“Hello?” Eris banged on the door. “Anybody?”

The bedroom door jerked open a crack at long last, Lyra breathlessly beaming back at them. Her mane was thoroughly disheveled and her cheeks were tinged pink, but her smile was wide.

“Sorry!” she chuckled after a beat. “Told you she was tense. Um... s-she said 'yes' by the way, so it's a good thing we've got the guest room, ha ha!”

“... Guest room,” Eris repeated.

“We'll have to get another bed, s-hey!” Lyra yelped, head vanishing for a few seconds before returning in the crack, clearly fighting off a grin with cheeks brighter than ever. “Be out in a few minutes, er... w-why don't ya go check it out for yourselves?”

Lyra was swift to vanish as the door clicked shut, leaving William thoroughly baffled as to the nature of their discussion. Clearly Lyra must have been winning.

“... Help me raid their cabinets,” Eris turned away with wide eyes, shuffling like a zombie in the opposite direction. “If they've got booze I definitely need it now.”

“Why?” William followed her closely, watching her drag herself along. “She said yes, it's not that bad. You can have the bed if it really means that much to you.”

“Will,” Eris puffed through her cheeks, the haunted look remaining. “I feel I should remind you that you're an idiot.”

“I love you dearly as well oh simplistic sister of mine.”

“The feeling's mutual, short stack.”

Hang on, hang on...!

Discord bolted faster and faster, but fast as he was he was still unable to move any faster in his current, or any form, than the ephemeral tug in his gut pulled him. He could do naught but follow the pull, dragged along like a fish on a line, being swiftly and surely drawn toward the narrowing point. He braced himself as he felt his being compressed and pulled to an insignificantly miniscule point, a fragment of a fragment inside and out all at once for a moment, for eternity, all together and split apart a billion miles simultaneously.

At last, at long last, the endless stream of travel that was himself began to end as he reached his destination, his corporeal form manifesting itself in a single instant.

“I'm here!” Discord hacked out a cough of black smoke, hair still singed from the previous blast. “Who sounded the-”

Discord immediately froze, his panicked line of questioning interrupted by a number of things that should have been obvious to him from the start. Firstly, it was quite apparent that no one had begun any emergency protocols related to the one that called him, considering that reality itself wasn't collapsing. Secondly, the bright, runic magically encasing pillar light of he was in was very clearly not Twilight's library or Princess Celestia's personal chambers. Finally, and most disturbingly, the mare staring him down her glasses with what was possibly the second most hateful, bloodthirsty glare he had ever seen was neither Twilight or Celestia, but was definitely equally acquainted with. An unwilling shiver trembled up his spine at her icy emerald stare, the situation feeling terribly familiar.

"... Uh oh."

“Hello, Discord,” doctor Yolk White steepled her hooves together venomously from behind her desk. “I'm in the mood for cake. Let's crack a few eggs.”

Author's Notes:

Annie Lennox - I Put A Spell On You