“Dear lord, Eris, I am sopping wet,” he moaned, dragging his shivering pink hooves through the grass in the vain hope of drying himself a little faster.

“Aw, quit whining,” Eris snickered, giving her head a long toss back and flinging water at him. “Did you have fun or not?”

“But I'm so wet-”

“Yeah, that happens when you get too excited,” she gave a body length wriggle that shook through to her tail, more water raining down on him. “But did you have fun?”

Eris continued walking backwards, hands clasped loosely behind her back as she grinned down at him.

“... You know what I think?” her grin grew a little the more sour he looked, desperately smacking his hooves over the grass. “I think you're just embarrassed to admit that you even can have fun. I'm right, huh?”

“I'd enjoy it a lot more if I didn't have to get wet,” he scowled, trudging along behind her toward Ponyville. “But... yes. It wasn't bad, if that's what you mean.”

Eris only snorted and rolled her eyes.

“I think you'd complain about just anything,” she flicked him with water again.

“Believe you me, I have already compiled a list.”

William tilted his head in confusion at her laughter, trying uselessly to wring the water out of his mane.

“... What's so funny?”

“Nothing,” she waved him off, giggling. “You just look funny when you get all serious like that.”

“I do not!” he insisted, stamping a hoof against the ground.

“Yeah huh,” she prodded him in the side, making him wiggle in discomfort. “It's freakin' adorable.”

“I am not-” he started angrily before pausing abruptly, giving himself a once over. “Well, yes. A bit, I suppose.”

For some reason, this only made Eris laugh harder.

“Regardless,” he said with a harrumph. “Just another thing that needs to be rectified. Although it would be much easier to go about my daily business were I not naked.”

“Oh, come on!” Eris snapped her talons together, grinning before waving into the wind. “Clothes are so restricting, just chill out, like me! Nice n' breezie, lemon squeezie!”

“Oh, god, Eris,” William flushed, cupping his eyes with one hoof. “Please don't do that, not in public!”

“Bah, don't be such a prude!” she whirled on the spot and flicked him on the nose with her wet tail, making him splutter furiously. “Pants steal your freedom, man! Nudity is freedom!”

“But-”

“FREE~DOM!” Eris whooped as she ran ahead, arms held high.

William bit back a remark, shaking his head.

It was clearly going to be a long walk back.

The walk back to Ponyville was uneventful and peacefully quiet.

The return, however, not so much.

“Alright,” Eris leaned away from the wall with her mismatched hands on her back, squinting up at the second floor window at the back of the orphanage. The sound of several voices from somewhere within masked her own hushed tones. The worn lattice seemed just as unstable as before, and William looked at it with a heavy frown. “I'm gonna lift you up first, so make sure to move your butt quickly this time before we get caught.”

“It's a bit too late for that,” William jerked in surprise to the voice of Miss Root directly behind him.

“Oh... shit,” Eris slumped.

“Where have you been?” Root screeched so loudly that the windows might have split. William cringed hard, the wall behind them suddenly feeling much too close. “Do you have any idea how worried I was, why are you two all wet? Why did you sneak out? What were you thinking?”

William shrank a little bit more with each peppering of questions, an odd knot weighing heavily in his stomach. Even Eris seemed to be left a little bit speechless, one arm held uncomfortably behind her back. She couldn't quite seem to meet the furious mare's eyes, and continuously stared at a patch of ground to her left.

“I thought you two were in serious trouble!” Root paced back and forth in front of them. “I thought you'd run off, I thought something awful might've happened, I was worried sick, I can't believe the nerve!”

“We-we were, uh... heading right back...” Eris mumbled, slowly jabbing one talon back at the old building. “We weren't, um...”

“Weren't what, thinking in the slightest?” Root stopped in front of her, giving her an icy glare. “For the love of Celestia, do you want to get sent to Trottingham? Do you?!”

Neither of them managed to speak so much as a word beneath her glower, despite her small frame she somehow seemed to singlehoofedly lock them in place.

“... Inside,” Root ran a hoof through her mane, giving a tired puff through her cheeks. “I'll deal with you two in a bit, I'm t'be needin' a sit down. Oy.”

William and Eris shuffled shamefacedly around the side of the building, heads hung low.

The cool shade inside didn't seem to to help the flush that seemed stuck on William's face, and Miss Root's disappointed words seemed to catch in his ears. Even so, he still couldn't manage to bring his eyes up from the floorboards, even long after Root directed him into one of the uncomfortable chairs lining the wall. A stone in the pit of his stomach churned as a slew of unpleasant thoughts occurred to him at once, each one worse than the last. What if they really were being sent somewhere else? How could he possibly fix things then?

“... Huh. You're new.”

His head darted up at last at the voice, Scootaloo's familiar tilted face coated in a thin veil of confusion and curiosity.

“Scootaloo!” he brightened up immediately, ears perking up. He noticed the odd sensation in the ears, quietly assured that he'd never get used to the feeling.

“Uh... hi,” the filly backed away a step at his shout, letting her schoolbag slip a little further off her shoulder to the floor. “Have we met before?”

“No, no!” William blurted as several other fillies, one or two even nearing marehood trundled noisily in through the door, each one befuddled by Eris's presence, much to the displeasure of Miss Root. Eris, however, seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the attention, clearly gleeful to no longer be under the scrutiny of the older mare.

“It's-it's just, er,” William lied quickly. “I've heard a bit about you, you see.”

“Really?” the filly blinked, glancing back over at Eris, who was completely swarmed by excited fillies by this point. “From who, might I ask?”

“Actually,” he corrected. “It should be 'from whom.”

“... Wow.You're kinda annoying,” Scootaloo tilted her head again, but a small grin appeared on her face at his annoyed frown.

“I get that occasionally,” he said flatly.

“She dropping you off?” the filly tilted her head in the distracted Eris's direction, hopping nimbly onto one of the seats beside him.

“What? Oh, no,” William shook his head. “That's my sister. We just got here, really.”

“... Your sister,” Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow slowly. “Guess that explains the matching manes.”

“It's a long story,” he rubbed the back of his neck gracelessly, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious. “I'm surprised you aren't over there talking to her too.”

Scootaloo shrugged, ruffling her wings a bit and settling in as she watched Miss Root uselessly trying to corral the unruly foals. She struggled to make herself heard over the tiny mob, ushering as many of them as she could toward the stairs with shouts of homework.

“Nah. I hate crowds,” she gave a wry half smile. “Besides, it's not every day you see a pink colt. What's your name, anyway?”

“William,” he said instantly. “William Zachariah Klaskovsky. Pleasure to meet your acquaintance,” he held out a single hoof expectantly.

“That's a weird name,” she shook his hoof eventually. “How'd you even remember all that, anyway?”

“Mnemonic patterns, usually,” William nodded. “It comes in handy.”

“Whole day's gone weird, I guess...” Scootaloo shrugged again.

“What do you mean?” William pried, unaware of the sound of carriages outside. Eris, however, seemed to be fully invested in returning outside, which only served to irritate the busy Root even further.

“Well,” she started slowly. “I mean, school lets out early, Diamond Tiara actually shuts up for once, and a girly Discord lookalike and a cute new colt show up out of nowhere. So, yeah, it's been weird.”

“Well, she's actually-” William started, his voice faltering midway as a burning heat rose up in his cheeks. “... You think I'm cute?”

“Eh, a little,” Scootaloo grinned again at his discomfort. “I mean, I've seen better, but I've seen a lot worse too.”

“Never mind that,” he shook his head furiously, thinking. “What was that other part about Diamond Tiara?”

“What, you're going to tell me you already know her too?” she rose another eyebrow, looking genuinely surprised this time. “Yeesh, I thought you said you just got here?”

“But what else?” he pried urgently. “Did anything seem weird to you?”

“What's it matter?” Scootaloo frowned suspiciously. “You're the one being all weird.”

“I just need to know!” he demanded. “Did – wait, was Silver with her today?”

Scootaloo looked around nervously, clearly unnerved. However, none of the others seemed to be around any longer, but Eris was finally returning from whatever was outside.

“Silver Spoon?” she said eventually, William sitting on the edge of his seat. “What about her?”

“... She wasn't at school today, was she?”

“How do you know anything about that?” Scootaloo frowned suddenly. “... Who are you?”

“Where is she?” William was nearly standing in his seat at that point, almond eyes darting back and forth frantically. “TELL me, this is important!”

“I dunno!” the filly shifted away from him, disturbed. “Jeez! She's sick or somethin', why should I care? Why do you care?”

“I have to go-” he started, tripping and slamming face first into Eris.

“Hey,” the draconequus beamed widely down at the filly, not moving to help William up. “Meet somebody new, eh?”

“Eris, we need to go!” William clumsily pulled himself up. “I don't know how much time we have-!”

“Aw, are you kidding?” she groaned loudly. “Dude, we just got back, I'm tired. Jesus, calm down for a sec, I got something to tell ya-”

“It can wait!” he was almost dancing with anticipation, his heart slamming like a drum. William was still running before he finally realized that he wasn't even touching the ground any longer, held aloft by Eris in one hand.

“Uh, no,” Eris snorted. “Me talk-y, you shut up...y. So, listen; some dudes just came by looking for us-”

“... Oh god, I forgot!” William twitched hard, finally ceasing his kicking. Scootaloo continued to back away, but kept a close eye on the two.

“Oh, cool,” she nodded. “You already knew they were coming?”

“Is she still here?” William struggled in her grasp. “And put me down, this is uncomfortable!”

“She?” Eris dropped him instantly, and he landed with a quiet grunt. “Uh, no. That was a royal escort.”

“... Royal escort?” he blinked in confusion.

“Yep,” she held up a pair of invisible suspenders proudly. “Royal invitation for a private audience with the princesses.”

“... Really?” he blinked. “So... where are they?”

“Oh, I politely declined,” Eris grinned.

“And they just left?”

“Well, to be accurate I told them to gargle my bacon,” she giggled wickedly. “They didn't take it too well.”

“YOU two!”

William flinched at Miss Root's shout, the still fuming mare descending the stairs. Scootaloo wisely snagged her saddlebag and subtly slipped past, sensing trouble and keeping her head down.

“Us two!” Eris grinned even more widely. “So, sick of us yet?”

“Eris?” William hissed through the side of his mouth. “What are you doing?”

“Wait for it,” she whispered back.

“For crying out loud, what've you done this time?” Root stomped up to her. “What in th' world were royal guards doing out front, what'd you do? Did you-”

The noisy opening of the door distracted the trio, drawing their eyes to the mint colored unicorn allowing herself in.

“... Wait for it,” Eris muttered even more quietly so that William could barely hear.

“Hello!” Lyra beamed widely, giving a little wave to the worn out mare. “Nice weather we're having, hmm?”

“Hello, dearie,” Root gave an exhausted sigh. “I'm sorry you've got me at such a bad time 'n all, the young 'uns are just getting back, and early t'boot, still a bit frazzled-”

“Oh, it's quite alright,” Lyra gave another small wave to William as she trotted up, earning a confused look from Eris which he promptly ignored. “Hey there! Guess I'm a little bit early too, huh?”

“Oh – oh!” Root blinked in mild surprise. “Are you here for...” she left her head hanging toward William and Eris, the astonishment clear on her face.

“I sure am!” Lyra nodded enthusiastically. “Is this the sister you told me about?” she turned to Eris, giving her a quick scan. “Not really much of a resemblence, I have to admit.”

William was a bit stunned. If Lyra seemed at all surprised or shocked by Eris's appearance, she certainly didn't show it. In fact, she didn't seem fazed in the slightest, which somehow seemed even stranger. Eris noted this as well, giving him an odd look as Lyra and Root meandered toward the wide desk by the door.

“That'd be Miss Lyra,” William started, only to be cut off again.

“Wait for it.”

Wait for what?

His answer came nearly half a minute later. William kept a close eye out next to Eris through the window until a familiar sight approached, at which Eris gave him an 'I told you so' look. Lyra chatted away happily with Root, as they went over paperwork slouching comfortably just over her desk and talking animatedly with one hoof.

“-so then, she gets this beehive, right? But it doesn't even occur to her, maybe-”

“Oh!” Twilight narrowly avoided walking smack dab into the unicorn as she pushed the door wide open. “Excuse me, sorry – I didn't catch you on the door, did I?”

“Hey, it's cool!” she welcomed her into the shade happily. “Aren't you that librarian?”

“My name's Twilight Sparkle, yes,” she nodded, spotting Eris and William before turning to Root. “I'm just here for the two o' clock pickup, Miss Root; they haven't been too much trouble, have they?”

“You have no idea,” the elder mare rubbed her temple wearily.

“... Hold on,” Lyra put down the pen she held in her magical grip. “I feel like I missed something. You-you don't mean these two, right?”

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Twilight's nose scrunched up as if she'd smelled something terrible. “Why? What did they tell you?”

“Wow, that's a weird thing to say,” Lyra frowned just as hard. “I'm, uh... adopting them both, actually.”

“... What,” the librarian blinked.

“I had the same reaction,” Root interjected. “I tried me best talkin' her out of it, I did.”

“Why are you adopting them?” Twilight inspected her sharply.

“Well, that's my prerogative, isn't it?” Lyra stood a little straighter with determination. “It's an orphanage, isn't it? Orphanages suck (no offense,)” she tilted to Root before snapping quickly back, “and it'd seem just plain mean to leave them here. So I'm adopting them. Right now,” Lyra held up the pen again to prove herself.

“But... well,” Twilight balked. “You – well, you can't, you see,” she struggled. “I've already set up a schedule-”

“A schedule for what, I might ask?” William asked with interest, speaking up at last.

“Effective societal integration,” Twilight answered proudly. “For the first week I've got planned exercises, you see, and-”

“And we're already being adopted,” William was quick to point out. “Ergo, we are clearly efficient at 'societal integration'. Miss Sparkle,” he tacked on at the end condescendingly, causing her frown to become even more pronounced, like it was etched on.

“And how come you never ask what we want?” Eris crossed her arms, speaking up as well. “So far it's just been 'do this, don't do that, go here, do what I say'. We're not dogs for god's sake.”

“Yes, but, but...!” Twilight whipped her head back and forth between them all, worry, desperation and something unfamiliar clearly showing through her features. “I mean, come on! You've been here for one day! Just one day!”

“To be fair, I am very adorable,” William nodded with the utmost seriousness.

Eris coughed hard into her fist, dulling what sounded very suspiciously like 'bullshit'.

“Are you the one that left them here?” Lyra asked.

“Well, yes, but-”

“And now you're telling me that you want them back, but only because they're not fitting in well enough?” she continued, causing Twilight to shift back and forth uncomfortably.

“W-well, that's not exactly-”

“What do you two think?” Lyra turned to William. “You guys just wanna stay here?”

“God no!” Eris shuddered. “There's no cable!”

“Well...” William thought aloud for a moment. He tried to rub his chin for effect, but nearly fell over and quickly gave up.

“... Have you managed to talk any sense into Mother?” William looked up at Twilight blankly.

“If you mean Rainbow Dash, no, but-”

“Then I'm throwing in my lot with Miss Lyra then,” he stated firmly. “When will we be leaving, ma'am?”

“Well, uh...” Lyra blinked, clearly not having expected his outburst. “We've... still got some paperwork to go through, should take... what, a couple of hours?”

“Not even that, dearie,” Root shook her head.

Twilight smacked her own forehead audibly, shaking her head as if it could wake herself up from a bizarre dream.

“You're joking,” she huffed. “For the love of – you've got to be kidding me!”

“Well, you did drop them off at an orphanage,” Lyra pointed out.

“A bit of an oversight if you ask me,” William added. “If I recall correctly, I repeatedly asked to stay literally anywhere else.”

“... They were begging you not to leave them here?” Lyra's eyebrows shot up.

“Oh, stop that!” Twilight snapped at last. “I will not be demonized over this, absolutely not!”

“Well, if it's all the same to you, I don't see what it could hurt...” William said slowly. “Consider it saving yourself a bit of work, at the very least.”

Twilight looked back to Root for help, but the older mare seemed just as lost.

“... Look,” she said at last, pinching the bridge of her nose with one hoof. “Miss, uh...”

“Lyra.”

“Lyra,” Twilight sighed. “I can't let you go through with this. These two aren't exactly what they seem to be.”

“Discord's offspring?”

“No, they're D- I mean, yes,” she blinked. “How did you know that?”

“Call it a wild guess,” Lyra responded dryly, eyes drifting momentarily toward Eris, who was tugging fitfully at the tip of her own tail.

“And... that doesn't... deter you, at all?” Twilight asked in befuddlement. “Doesn't it alarm you, knowing who they are?”

“Not really,” she shook her head quietly. “They seem alright enough. You two are alright, right?”

“Right,” Eris nodded immediately. “See? 's all good.”

Twilight, unfortunately, still seemed just as baffled as before.

“... I cannot in good conscience condone this,” she said huffily.

“So what would you have me do?” Lyra threw out a hoof. “How come it's so important to you to 'help them integrate' then if you're just going to drop them off here?”

“That's concerning royal business!” Twilight scowled, sparks flying in her eyes. She didn't seem to notice Eris uneasily shifting away at the last part.

“Miss Sparkle,” William interposed, his discomfort at their arguing growing greater. “We really are quite alright on our own, and I don't mean anything but the utmost respect when I politely decline your offer.”

“What?” the unicorn blanched, looking down at him.

“What he means is,” Eris fought hard to keep a grin off her face. “Gargle my bacon.”

“... Gargle his what?”

“Will you two go upstairs for a few minutes?” Root blurted in aggravation. “For five minutes! Go, the both of you, or I swear...!”

William was quick to back away, making straight for the stairs as Eris followed close behind.

“Pack up, something!” Root called after them as they vanished up the stairwell without another word.

“I don't believe they had luggage,” Twilight tried to add helpfully, only to earn a flat stare from the elder mare.

“Perhaps not,” Root sighed again, looking briefly between the two unicorns. “But there certainly seems to be quite a bit of baggage being carried about, and I'm no bellhop.”

“Well, that wasn't so bad, now was it?” Lyra asked cheerfully as they meandered down the roadside, afternoon breeze wafting warmly over them.

“You mind reattaching my ears?” Eris slumped along. “I think she talked 'em off. There's, like, no feeling in them anymore.”

“Yeah, she is a little talkative,” she nodded, leading them around a corner and nodding politely to a fiery headed mare selling carrots. “But I think she's got good intentions, for the most part.”

“Was the checklist really necessary?” William eyed the heavy looking list that Twilight had insisted she take with them.

“Probably not,” Lyra chuckled. “I dunno about you guys, but I am star~ving. What do you want to eat?”

“You know what I want?” Eris stretched lazily. “I want a freakin' burger.”

“Burgers it is!” Lyra directed them across the street to a quiet but bustling little restaurant, welcome sign hanging in the window.

“This seems familiar,” William said suddenly. “I am having the worst sort of déjà vu right now.”

“Wait; you're telling me you actually have burgers,” Eris's mouth dropped in open shock. “Are-are you serious?”

“Sure!” Lyra magically opened the door for them, a warm wafting scent of grease, fries, and other assortments greeting them. “Have you never had one? They're great, I'm telling you.”

The odd trio made themselves comfortable at a set of barstools, numerous strange glances being shot in Eris's direction. A number of napkins were littered about the bar, some of which William was very discouraged to see had obviously been used.

“Hey, weasel face!” Lyra grinned at the burly looking tan unicorn behind the bar.

“Long time no see,” the aptly named and long-faced stallion leered back at her, giving a single look to her bizarre company before turning back. “What can I do ya for?”

“Three burgers, pronto!” she beamed back at him. “Oh, and a milkshake!”

“Alright,” he shrugged. “And what about the other two?”

“Oh, shut up!” Lyra laughed, throwing a napkin at him and missing by a mile. The stallion only chortled, scribbling on a pad of paper before passing it quickly back through a small window behind him. “Just put it on my tab, eh?”

“You don't have a tab,” he was fast to reply.

“Alright, put it on Bonnie's tab!” she shot back goodnaturedly, collapsing back onto the stool between William and Eris. “Prepare to feast like kings tonight, fellas!”

Despite Lyra's good mood, William still couldn't fully wrap his mind around the mare. There had to have been some form of ulterior motive, something that would give it away, some clue or another, but he seemed to garner no further information from her. Perhaps he had missed something?

What exactly are you up to, Miss Lyra? What's your gimmick, hmm? What makes you tick?

“Oh, man,” Eris rubbed her mismatched hands together excitedly and distracting him, spinning around a couple of times for good measure. “This is fantastic!”

“Do you really like burgers that much?” Lyra asked, watching her closely.

“You have no idea how long it's been,” she sighed enviously, taking in a deep breath of the restaurant's aroma. “I have been dying for one of these, everything I've found here is freaking rabbit food!”

William simply didn't have the heart to tell Eris that the burgers they were getting were composed almost entirely of hay.

Apparently, neither did he have the heart to conceal his laughter when she discovered mollified mid-bite what they were.