Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

New World, Day Two

I think I might be ill.

Two days.

I can hardly believe that it's only been two days, and everything is completely mad. The entire world has gone to hell in a hand-basket and I'm the only sane boy left. However, I do not believe that 'boy' will suffice any longer, as I do not meet those qualifications precisely. I do not like being a colt. It feels... unnatural... to me. I don't like trying to adjust to a new body, trying to adjust to a world from two years ago has proved difficult enough. I wonder if Father did this as some form of sick prank. Obviously he isn't concerned too badly about 'blending in' otherwise he wouldn't have made me hot pink and he would have altered Eris as well. She stands out like a sore hoof thumb everywhere she goes, and no wonder. Her body is absolutely bizarre. Alien comparatively I should say. I should like to study it further, her anatomy alone astounds me.

Still no sign of Father, but I suppose I should hardly be surprised. One of my few consolations is that at least we aren't trapped in an orphanage. And Eris is still with me. If I can consider that consolation.

The girl is slowly driving me crazy, I am sure of it. She has to be doing it on purpose. I need to get her out of my head, it's taking up space. I have far more pressing matters of concern. There still remains the issue of getting Mother back, and I want shall get my family back by any means necessary, mark my words. Above all else, that stays forefront in my thoughts at all times.

Speaking of, I still wonder exactly what Father tampered with while he was in there. The idea alone makes me nervous to say the least, I consider the mind the final sanctuary and to breach that is an offense in and of itself. Although, it feels like I still remember everything. I recall the events important to me, I remember Mother and Miss Pie and my time before Equestria. I remember my studies under Miss Twilight. and Princess Luna I remember what happened at Canterlot, though part of me feels like that was all just a hazy bad dream. And I most certainly remember that... bizarre other world that Father dragged us through, the one with too many of him. What exactly did he do then if I still remember?

Eris speaks of memory wipes as leaving a blank space in her mind where the memory used to be, and though I find this extremely... well, creepy, I have not experienced anything of the sort. That I can remember. I don't know why, but I am curious.

I doubt we shall be staying with Miss Lyra and her roommate? Friend? Lover? housemate much longer, as after I've enacted the next phase of my plan it'll all be downhill from there. It's frustratingly slow in terms of progress, but I must maintain secrecy lest anyone interfere. I can pull this off without a hitch, I know it, but the strain on my patience is immense. I doubt I can even tell Eris I have to stop thinking about her or I won't sleep again.

I don't want to sleep again. I've been having strange dreams. Not like usual, there are no more vivid visions of metal monsters descending on me. And it always felt like I was so close before in the dreams, like if I could just endure it a little longer I could finally smash the barrier, break through the wall and understand what I was supposed to. Now dreams just feel... unwanted. I would ask Miss Luna directly, but I'm afraid that isn't really an option anymore as we aren't exactly on the best of terms. I sincerely hope that she can forgive me if I apologize, but I'm afraid to try. To be blunt, she tried to kill me, which I think might only be a natural reaction after what I did. It gives me nightmares myself. But this one, I'm hesitant to call it a nightmare...

I dreamed that I found a puppy in my room with four broken legs. It was whimpering and crying, and it screamed like a baby every time it moved. I picked it up in both hands, and... turned its head. And kept turning. And kept turning. And I could hear the neck bones snapping, it felt so... brittle, almost like a peppermint stick, I could hear it breaking and cracking but the more I twisted its head the more it just... cried.

I think I might be ill.

Another unfamiliar room.

William stared up at the ceiling and right up through to the sky where his thoughts wandered, his eyes long since adjusted to the lack of light. The moon hid its face abashedly behind a curtain of clouds, pregnant with the potential of rain. The elusive embrace of sleep seemed so very far away, and consciousness stayed an unfortunate reality.

The downy quilt he had been given was surprisingly comfortable and the futon he lay on equally so, but he doubted sleep would come even if Eris weren't quietly snoring in the bed to his side. William released a soft sigh through his nostrils, feeling his ears redden and turning away from her. Something about watching her while she slept, with one leg sticking from beneath the covers and tail pulled up to her side seemed strange, even if he couldn't identify why.

Just stop thinking. That's all it takes to sleep. Just stop thinking.

No matter how many times he repeated his mantra to himself, it felt as if it made no more sense than requesting himself to stop breathing. Although not entirely alert he remained incapable of keeping his eyes closed for more than a few moments, the scritching and scratching fear of falling back into the nightmares prevalent. He laid there for what felt like hours, the seconds ticking by arduously, one minute after another crawling past at a snail's pace. It felt like an eternity was going by, and for the hundredth time his mind unwillingly wandered back to just what eternity might feel like. It felt like the book beneath the futon was pressing into his head, jabbing him at the base of his skull even though he knew it wasn't. But mostly, it just felt a bit cold.

William sighed again, tucking the worn journal Lyra had generously presented him upon his request beneath the bed instead before silently clambering with some difficulty beneath the blankets beside Eris. He laid still next to her for a while, her warmth spreading to him slowly and developing a small shard of hope that perhaps sleep might come after all, and although his back was turned to her somehow it felt as if she were smiling.

William smiled too.

In the depths of the journal, the ink began to stir.

Author's Notes:

Sorry for the chapter length, been a bit busy as of late. More updates on the way!