“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay there, little fella?” Pinkie Pie dabbed at his forehead with a cool damp cloth.

“I haven’t seen bricks drop that fast,” Eris said jokingly, hanging around the edge of the living room sofa.

“The heat is probably what got to him,” she explained as William began to stir at last. “You know how fragile colts can be; how long was he outside? Does he have these problems often?”

“I am quite alright, thank you,” William frowned, woozily sitting up and pushing her away. “Thank you for your assistance, Miss Pie, I shall be at peak performance momentarily.”

Pinkie looked at him for a beat before turning to Eris.

“Kinda wordy, isn’t he?” Pinkie Pie grinned. “Also, how come you’re a girl now, Discord?”

“I’m not Discord. I’m Eris,” Eris deadpanned. “See these?” she smushed her chest together as best as she could. “Does Discord have boobers? Nope. No he does not.”

“Ignore her,” William turned to the significantly confused Pinkie. “She’s insane.”

“Muffins are ready,” Iron Will’s booming voice came rattling from the kitchen. He went completely ignored by all.

“Well, I don’t believe we’ve met before…” Pinkie perked up. “Although you already seem to know me. It’s nice to meet you, Eris! And what about you, little guy?” she turned to the increasingly agitated colt.

“… Miss Pie,” he tapped his hooves together awkwardly. “My name is-is William, and I have some things to tell you that may be-”

“Oh, neat!” she clapped excitedly. “Now we have two Wills, isn’t that great? I thought that was exclusively a minotaur name, I’ve never met a pony with a name like yours, how exotic!”

“Focus!”

Pinkie flinched at his shout, eyeing him in confusion.

“Miss Pie. Pinkie,” William said seriously, looking her in the eyes. “Focus. What I’m about to tell you is of grave importance, and I need you to pay attention. Understand?”

Pinkie looked to Eris in mild confusion, slowly turning back and nodding. William took a deep breath before hand, steadying himself.

“My name is William. William Zachariah Klaskovksy,” he started slowly. “And the world that you know it is not as it should be.”

“I think your friend might have been out in the sun a little too long,” Pinkie chuckled weakly, uncomfortably looking back to Eris. However the draconequus only shook her head, frowning.

“I am completely serious,” William nodded once. “Your name is Pinkamena Diane Pie. You grew up on a rock farm and are the bearer of the Element of Laughter, Ponyville’s ‘premier party planner’, your favorite color is blue and you love the taste of cherries.”

Pinkie Pie’s eyebrows slowly rose with his every word until they vanished into her mane.

“I can tell you anything that you like about yourself,” William said seriously. “Your family, your past, your ideas; even your very future. I know everything, Pinkamena.”

William leaned forward a bit, watching as Pinkie very noticeably lurched away. The concern was clearly gone from her eyes, replaced with a wariness that he had never seen her look at him with before. He saw the uncertainty and a sliver of fear began to rise that perhaps he still hadn’t convinced her, that something was wrong.

“Everything.”

“Who wants muffins?”

Iron Will’s thunderous voice made them all jump simultaneously. The fact that no one was responding to him seemed to have brought about the catastrophe of ‘muffins’ even swifter, because they certainly didn’t look like muffins. The plate he held contained what strongly appeared to be an assortment of burned rocks wrapped in colored paper. A row of sprinkles followed him from the kitchen, lingering just so.

“I don’t know how you know the-thethings that you do, but… I think you should leave.”

William’s heart sank into his stomach, and he instantly wished that he could rewind time once more to try again.

“… Did I miss something?” Iron Will peered suspiciously down at William and Eris, his scowl evident.

“Everything is fine!” William fought down the flood of panic, trying to keep his voice in check as best he could. “We were just chatting here with-”

“Out,” Pinkie repeated, jabbing threateningly at him and causing him to scamper toward the door with Eris close in tow. “Out! Get out of our home!”

William backed out unwillingly, struggling to find something, anything he could say that would cause her steps to falter as they were steadily pushed out.

“Wait wait wait, I can explain!” he cried desperately, Iron Will blocking all possible reentry. “I have an answer to everything, just-just-just let me explain!”

“Stay away from my family!” Pinkie Pie shouted over him, slamming the door in his face. “And don’t come back!”

“Wait wait I’m sorry Moth-”

William stood shakily, staring hard at the wooden door with his mouth still hanging open. Perhaps he had come on too strongly. Eris was noticeably quiet, though the words that came at last from another didn’t seem to phase him at all.

“… Well,” Mr. Cake coughed uneasily into one hoof, his wife and twins close beside him. “Uh… this is… awkward.”

“Hello Mister Cake,” William breathed miserably, eyes not leaving the spot on the door.

“What brings you here, Discord?” Cup cautiously asked Eris.

“I’m not Discord. I’m Eris.”

“… Can I get in my house now?” Carrot asked bluntly.

He squeezed carefully past the still stunned colt, making very sure not to get too close as the family wordlessly edged past and relocked the door behind them.

“… Assholes,” Eris dropped onto the stone step beside William, crossing her arms. “You want I should punch ‘im in the face for you?”

“Let’s just go Eris.”

“Aw, c’mon!” she grinned, nudging him. “I’ll take the dynamic duo, you take the big dumb ugly one.”

“Let’s just go, Eris.”

“No,” a low chuckle escaped her. “You’re supposed to say, ‘which one is the ugly’-”

“Let’s go Eris!” he shouted, stomping away. “I don’t want to be here anymore, just…” he petered out, head drooping. “… Let’s just go.”

Eris watched him clumsily stumble along the roadside, his hooves dragging. She gave a quiet sigh eventually, silently trudging after him.

“… You wanna go get some ice cream?” Eris asked hopefully. “That always cheers me up. I could go for some ice cream. I’ll bet you really want ice cream right about now,” she nodded, leaning in a bit. “What I’m implying is that we should totally go get ice cream. Actually, I’d want ice cream right now anyway, I haven’t had any in, like, a hundred years. Man, I tell you, I’ve had the weirdest feeling of déjà vu all day long, you ever get that? It’s kind of bugging me, like when you’re trying to remember some song and you can’t quite get the lyrics. Y’know?”

William remained silent.

“… You notice that you’re naked yet?”

Although he did not respond, William did indeed try to pull in a little bit closer to himself. He didn’t quite flush either as she was expecting, but instead began slowly turning a light shade of cherry in the ears and neck.

“… ‘cause I realized that, like, hours ago,” she meandered along beside him, gracefully hopping from one mismatched foot to the next just on the very edge of the sidewalk. Eris nearly fell several times into passing ponies, but somehow miraculously managed to stay upright. “And I know it’s gotta be bugging you. Come on, you can tell me if it’s bothering you. Nah, you don’t have to tell me!” she giggled. “I know it is.”

“I feel exposed,” he blurted at last, trying to keep the newfound chalky tail as close to his rear as possible. Unfortunately it seemed to have a mind of its own, was nearly impossible to control directly. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“What’s wrong with exposing yourself in public?”

“Please don’t phrase it like that,” William frowned. He trudged along at the same painfully slow and wobbly speed, but finally brought his head up.

“Why not?” she tossed her hair back gleefully and cracking her knuckles. “It’s awesome! Exposing yourself in public is so much fun it should be illegal.”

“Are you an exhibitionist or something?” William harrumphed. He kicked wildly in panic when Eris pulled him up by the scruff of his neck, causing him to draw his legs to himself instinctively.

“… Aww, you look like a cute widdle kitty!” she nuzzled his muzzle, only for him to scowl angrily at her.

“Cease this at once!” he insisted. “I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times, I don’t like heights!”

Eris promptly ignored him and dropped him onto her shoulder, continuing about her way of prancing on the very edge of the sidewalk. William gripped her neck in panic, the idea of hitting the ground highly unappealing.

“Just roll with it, twerp,” he could hear the laughter in Eris’s voice. “I’ve always wanted my own shoulder pet anyway.”

“I am not your pet!”

“Where are we going again?” Eris tilted her head wildly, nearly throwing him off and leading him to hang on for dear life.

“Golden Oaks Library,” he explained breathlessly as he regained his grip. “Center of town, three streets up from this one and two to the left.”

“A library?” Eris deadpanned. “Are you frickin’ serious?”

“As a heart attack…” William nodded slowly, readjusting his grip on her shoulder. “This must be approached logically. If there’s one person who can help me right now, it’s at the library.”

“Who’s to say we won’t just have a repeat of what just happened back there?” Eris asked. Her tone shifted subtly so that he almost didn’t notice it, but the cheer and enthusiasm was evidently gone from her voice.

“What happened with Mother – I… that was a fluke,” William spat in sudden fury. “That should not have happened, and when I get to the bottom of precisely why I shall rectify the issue post haste and all shall resume as normal. I. Will. Fix. This,” he vowed quietly.

“Onward, then!” Eris’s demeanor returned without warning as she threw her arms into the air, charging ahead and eliciting a panicked yelp from William as he was nearly thrown from her again. “Hi-Yo Silver, awa~ay!”