William’s back hooves dangled loosely against Eris’s waist as she lazily traipsed down the road. Of course, the ‘hooves’ part was still remarkably hard to get used to. A few strands of thin white mane fell in his eyes every now and then, proving to be horrendously distracting.

“And how exactly did you manage to even get it in the first place?” Eris pried, scratching at a spot behind her antler and nearly shaking him off. “That’s the kind of thing you’d expect to be under maximum security somewhere or something, like a super secret vault. You’d have to break in, like, Mission Impossible style.”

“I thought the same thing,” William nodded thoughtfully, gripping her shoulder to keep from falling off. “But, no. She was keeping it right next to her on her nightstand, of all places.”

“That’s retarded,” she balked.

“That’s what I said!”

“So where exactly did you go after that?” she pried curiously. William shifted awkwardly on her shoulder, trying hard not to fall.

“Well…” he said after a moment. “I went exactly where I said I would. I went back to my… origin world, as it were.”

“Oh. Why’d you come back?”

William did not have an answer.

He was very quiet on her shoulder for the longest time. The only noise on the empty road was of a gentle breeze whistling through, and the chirrup of swooping birds. They (or rather, Eris) walked in silence for what felt like hours, even though it really wasn’t that long at all. They meandered far enough down the road that the tall trees of Ponyville’s park began to thicken around them.

“I found my father.”

“Hm?” Eris blinked, surprised that he’d broken the silence.

“Neil Klaskovsky,” William said softly. “My biological father. The one who… I found him.”

“I thought that dude was dead?” she careened her head around, nearly throwing him off in the process. “Also, god, I think you’re getting heavier.”

“Almost…” he replied as he righted himself, getting a better grip on her shoulder. “Father… Discord, as it were…”

Eris waited and waited for him to continue, but he still said nothing.

“Well?” she asked after he still said nothing. “Don’t leave me hangin’.”

“Neil was… kept alive by Discord,” William continued with great difficulty. “He’d been paraplegic for over six decades.”

“Ouch,” she flinched. “Yeah, the sad thing is, that actually kind of sounds like the kind of thing he’d do if he was pissed off enough.”

“I… well. He’s not alive anymore.”

“I see…” Eris nodded emotionlessly.

“After that I didn’t really… I couldn’t stay there. I just couldn’t.”

“I gotcha. After something like that I wouldn’t really want to hang around either. Awkward subject change?”

“Awkward subject change.”

Eris eyed a wooden bench along the path, happily collapsing onto it. William dropped off her shoulder wearily, sidling carefully into the seat next to her and stretching as he sat up.

“So…” she breathed a sigh of relief, brushing a lock of pearly hair from her face. “I think I need to start working out.”

“Doubtlessly,” William answered, staring straight ahead.

“No,” Eris scowled, pushing him. “You’re supposed to say Golly, Eris! You don’t need to work out, your figure is great!”

“Maybe if you lost weight you wouldn’t have trouble ca-”

William had difficulty finishing his sentence, as Eris wasted no time in pushing him off the side of the bench.

Sputtering, William managed to haul himself one leg at a time back onto the bench, Eris still frowning at him with her arms crossed.

“What?” he met her glare with one of his own. “It’s not my fault your butt’s exponentially larger than necessity!”

“Bite me, short stack,” she pushed him again, though he managed to keep from falling off this time. “I’m proportionate.”

“If you’re part hippopotamus, yes,” William retorted grumpily, trying to force his front legs in front of himself to sit like a cat for balance’s sake.

“Hey! Don’t pass on the ass, it’s just more cushion for pushin’!”

“Cushion,” he snorted. “More like whole sofa.”

William once again found himself on the ground.

“Also, ‘sofa’ is weird,” Eris mused aloud as William once again angrily tried to pull himself back onto the wooden bench. “Seriously, ‘the fuck is a ‘sofa’? What’s the difference between a sofa and a couch? They’re the same thing, just call ‘em couches!”

“Couches don’t have arm rests,” William explained in exasperation. “Obviously.”

“What do you mean ‘obviously’, huh?” she rolled her eyes. “How is anybody supposed to know trivial crap like that? That’s as nerdy as knowing what those little things on the ends of shoelaces are called!”

“You mean aglets?”

“Nerd!” Eris gasped in mock horror. “I can’t believe this! Betrayal!”

“I think-”

“Betrayaaaaaaaaal!”

“… I think it’s time to go,” William carefully dropped down, locking his legs together instantly.

“But I’m tired,” she harrumphed. “I had to carry your ass the whole way.”

“And I’d prefer that we not loaf around all day,” he responded quickly. “Now, let me try this walking thing again. One, and two, and one…”

Eris watched in mild amusement as William fought hard for his balance. When walking did not seem to come naturally to him, he settled instead for carefully shifting one leg at a time. Each time he tried though he scrunched his legs together to avoid falling over, and only wound up resembling a very large pink caterpillar. Eris found this hilarious.

William did not.

“Just give me a minute,” he said snappily almost ten minutes later. “I’ve almost got it, almost got it now.”

“You know, you just make it funnier when you get all determined like that,” Eris giggled, not having moved an inch. He continuously meandered around in a small circle, viciously glaring at his back legs as if he could get them to work properly merely by glowering at them.

“Determination is the forge by which I shall produce success!” he decreed vehemently.

“Sure you will. Want me to carry you again?”

“… Yes please.”

“Eris.”

“Hm?”

“I seem to have made a slight miscalculation.”

“Indeed.”

William’s eyes were glued to the empty plot of land, his face downcast. The place that he used to know so well, now devoid of anything recognizable. No homely white picket fence that he used to walk by every day. No tacky curtains hanging in the open windows and billowing in the breeze. No home where home used to be. It was a very jarring experience, even though William silently berated himself for not having expected it.

“… This is my fault,” he said after the longest time of simply staring. “When I tried to… reset everything.”

“Define reset,” Eris started nervously, arms crossed across her chest.

“When I… left,” he cleared his throat. “I tried to turn things back so that nobody would miss me, so I… set back the clock, essentially.”

“Ouch.” She nodded understandingly. “I figured it was something like that.”

“I should have expected as much,” William sighed. “I should have thought ahead. I just… didn’t expect it to, er-hem. Sting quite so badly.”

“You think Dad can re-reset everything?” Eris leaned lazily against him, only to be warily pushed off as he strained to keep his frail balance.

“Think about it, Eris,” he frowned miserably, furrowing his brows. “Of what exactly that would require in order to bring everypony as close as they were before. All sorts of… unpleasantness was underwent before I was ever even brought here – I effectively destroyed my own life.”

Eris was silent for a while.

“… Damn,” she said simply, giving a pebble a kick onto the slightly busy road.

“I got exactly what I wanted,” William muttered bitterly. “And now, here I am again, with even less than I had before.”

“I think you’re focusing too much on the negative,” Eris nudged him with one cloven hoof. He nearly fell over just from that, and pawed urgently at the sidewalk before him to remain upright. “Think of it this way – you get a whole new chance! Starting fresh, even!”

“With what?” he scowled, the look only seeming more permanent. “No home? No family?”

“What am I, chopped liver?” she scoffed.

“It’s hopeless,” he turned away from her, droopily hanging his head. Eris plopped down on the warm sidewalk next to him, watching the slow multitude go by. “My life is over.”

“So, we’re in a bit of a jam…” Eris shrugged. “And also have no parents. We could-”

“If you’re about to suggest anything that involves an orphanage, don’t even think it!” William snapped. “I am never, ever setting foot in another orphanage ever again. Ever.”

“Didn’t one of your friends live in an orphanage?” Eris asked.

William perked up immediately, his little ears sticking up through his white mane.

“She did!” he exclaimed quickly, lighting up. “Or rather, does – if we went back far enough… oh dear lord do I hope so, we just might have! This is great! Eris, you’re a genius!”

“Yeah, I know-”

She was promptly cut off by William loudly grabbing her head and kissing her before dropping to the ground. He was practically giddy with excitement, scooting this way and that on his wobbly legs.

“We can fix everything!” he started off down the sidewalk, the stunned draconequus still sitting with her head in her hands. “I know everything that’s going to happen for the next two years – I’m effectively a clairvoyant!”

“Hold-hold on!” she scrabbled after him, surprised at his sudden speed. “No fair, you’ve got extra legs!”

William did slow down, though not for immediate reasons. In actuality it was because she’d pointed out something as obvious as having extra legs, which led to him consciously trying to use them all at once. This, of course, only resulted in him stumbling and tripping this way and that as he struggled to regain the oh so brief mastery of his limbs he’d just held. Eris nearly bowled over an elderly mare simply trying to get by in her excursion, the madly scuttling colt ahead beginning to pick up speed again.

“I can fix everything,” he said breathlessly as she caught up to him, a rare smile wide across his face. “We just have to get to Mother and explain everything, and I’m sure it’ll all be fine.”

“Are you sure –”

“Everything will be fine,” he restated assuredly. “Just let me do all the talking so that you don’t botch anything and hey hey hey put me down!”

Williams legs continued strutting along as if they were still on the ground, and he was extremely displeased to find that Eris tucked him under one arm as she continued along.

“Quit patronizing me, twerp,” she poked him hard in the ribs, making him squirm. “You don’t get to talk down to me so long as I’m bigger, got it?”

“Unhand me this instant, I command you!” William squealed indignantly, kicking uselessly at the air.

“You had no trouble on my shoulder,” Eris replied sharply, tightening her grip.

“That was another matter entirely!” he fumed. “And people are staring, you’re making a public fool of me! Unhand me at once, I insist!”

“I could be carrying you in a purse like one of those hideous little dogs that look like a ball of fur and eyeballs,” she poked him in the ribs again. “Is this not preferable?”

“I preferred walking!” he pouted. “I even preferred riding you to this.”

“Then count yourself fortunate like a lottery winner,” she shifted him up to her shoulder where he desperately clung on for dear life. “Not everybody can claim getting to ride their sister!”

“Please don’t describe it like that,” William huffed in defeat.

“… Where are we even goin’, anyway?”

“Just keep an eye on the sky,” William instructed her. “We’re almost there now, but I’d prefer to meet Mother beforehand anyway.”

“You really think they’ll buy it?” Eris inquired, Sugarcube Corner slowly coming into sight. “Also,” she squinted suddenly. “Is-is that place made out of candy? ‘cause it really looks like it’s made out of candy.”

“You can taste the doorknobs when we get there…” he locked eyes on the place, no sign of Rainbow Dash anywhere in the sky. “Just keep going.”

“I’m suddenly regretting carrying you again,” she harrumphed, her rolling shoulders almost knocking him off.

She was quick to let him drop by the time they finally reached the coral colored door of the pastry shop, pleasantly sweet scents wafting out of the windows. William cleared his throat a few times and gave himself a hard shake.

“Alright,” he vainly tried to smooth his mane, which was doing everything in its power to remain wiry and unruly. “I’ll handle everything, we just have to get things sorted out, and I’ll explain to miss Pie about how everything went wrong, and then we can get the family back together and everything will be fine.”

“If you say so…” Eris said uncertainly, though he didn’t seem to hear her. He knocked a few times with the flat of his hoof, cautiously tensing up and focusing on keeping his precious balance.

“Trust me,” William straightened an imaginary bow tie smartly. “Everything’s going to work out perfectly. And if I’m wrong, may god strike me dead.”

Eris subtly inched away from him.

“… What’s taking so long?” he muttered, rapping at the door again. At last he heard someone approaching, his excitement growing all the more.

“Hello!” William put on his best winning smile just as the door began to open. “My name is Will-”

His jaw dropped open before he could manage to finish speaking, the rest falling out in an unintelligible splutter. Before them was, quite possibly, the largest creature that William had ever seen. Standing what must have been at least seven feet tall and comprised of sheer muscle, the almost doubled over cobalt minotaur dusted his gigantic trashcan lid-sized hands on a ridiculously small apron, a miniature cloud of flour falling off of him.

“Hello,” he blinked down at them in a booming voice that William swore was making his very bones rattle. “My name is Will. Iron Will. Are you here for the one o’ clock pickup?”

“Fuh duh guh buh buh buh,” William craned his neck as hard as he could up at him.

“… Hello,” Iron Will turned to Eris. “Sorry, didn’t know he was retarded. My name is Iron Will. Are you here for the one o’ clock pickup?”

“Where’s Miss Pie?” William’s voice came screeching out in panic.

“Somepony call me?” the familiar bouncy mane of Pinkie Pie arrived instantly out from behind the gargantuan minotaur before leaning up to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Who is it, sugar booger?”

William fainted on the spot.

“… I don’t think they’re here for the one o’ clock pickup.”