As Kherrie pulled me toward her, I was certain that this was the end. Now, I was going to die at the hands of a crazy, lunatic shrubbery with murder on its mind. I could imagine worse ways to go, but not a lot, and this was pretty bad in itself. In fact, dying in general just did NOT suit well with me. So, I struggle, but Kherrie has both her arms around me, and has no intention of releasing me.

"Don't struggle, Mally... soon, you'll be safe, with me... and no one will take you away..." Kerrie says, her voice just as childlike as before she turned into the Grudge, which added to her fear factor even more. Welp, that's it, I'm dead. So, in that face, I might as well go out boldly:

"Do your worst, shrub! Kill me, and I'll haunt you for the rest of your life!" I shout struggling. Kherrie, though, just laughs a hearty, oddly affectionate laugh, and then looks right at me, two red pinpricks of light shining from behind her long, root-like hair, paralyzing me with fear. "Or, you know, just release me out of the goodness of your heart?" I ask sheepishly. Now, normally, I can stare down anything, but the reason that I'm acting like a pussy right now is a simple one: I FUCKING HATE GHOSTS. I always have. they are not natural, and they just terrify me. Why? I don't know, nor do I care. And right now, Kherrie looks like a fucking ghost. And to make matters worse, she was enjoying this.

"Oh, no... Just stay a while, with me! We'll be so happy together, you know..." Kherrie says, but I really don't like where this is going, so I pull out my ace: I shift my weight so that my legs are up, and I wrap my legs around her, and use my weight to force her onto her back. Then, while I'm released, I run like a bat out of hell. However, I forgot to consider that she teleports, and she keeps popping up in front of me, forcing me to sharply turn, and she continues this for a while, around every machine I try to lose her with.

"Oh, jeez... Wouldn't you be happier with Slenderman?" I pant, running low on steam, and then, just as I'm ready to pass out, Kherrie pops up behind me from out of nowhere, grabs me, and turns me around to face her and her evil, sharp-toothed smile. "Christ... Just let me go, you creeper!" I demand, struggling with the remainder of my power.

"Oh, Mally... you'd surely perish out there, having never made your mark... wouldn't you rather be safe here, with me?" Kherrie asks, opening her large, toothy maw. Then, a long, white tongue slips out of the abyss, prodding beneath my helmet, and sliding beneath it, much to my disgust. "Be safe with me, Mally... You don't have to worry ever again..." She coos affectionately, and I almost gag.

"Wonderful, she's going to eat you now. Why did you strike that deal with the crazy, meat-eating plant thing in the first place?!" My inner voice chides, as Kherrie's tongue slides along my neck and face, leaving a sweet-smelling... stuff... in its wake.

"She seemed harmless at the time! How was I supposed to know she was going to turn into a Fatal Frame reject!?" I retort mentally, gagging as Kherrie's tongue finds my mouth, and slides down my throat, writhing like a giant, slimy worm... Eugh, make it stop...

"You taste delicious, Mally-wally... I'm sure Stargazer will be quite happy to have some company..." Kherrie says as she pulls her tongue out of my face. God, please don't let it go anywhere else... oh, Jesus, it just crept to my chest! Oh, lord, get her off of me! It's gross!

"Let me go, you creepy-ass weed!" I shout, struggling harder, but finally giving up, my strength exhausted.

"Wonderful! Now, instead of going out like a villain, we get to die like Tootsie-pops. Fucking wonderful." My inner voice mopes, and I sigh, which was hard to do without gagging, now that my mouth tasted like someone dumped high-fructose corn syrup in it.

"Ugh... this is embarrassing..." I mutter, accepting my fate. Then, Kherrie pulls me closer, and brings her mouth closer to my head, and I close my eyes, waiting for the end.

"Be safe within me, Mally... forev-" Kherrie says, but is interrupted half-way through by a voice I never thought I'd be happy to hear:

"Hey, Kherrie, where'd you say the controls we... WHAT THE HECK?!" Stargazer cries, reeling back after appearing from behind some machinery. Kherrie, in response, jumps back in shock, releasing me.

"Star, you ruined the prank! I was gonna scare Mally good!" Kherrie says, retracting her tongue, and leaving me wet and confused. What the fuck was going on here?

"P-prank..?" I ask, too confused for words.

"This is what you call a prank!? You looked ready to EAT him!" Stargazer says, and Kherrie blushes, shuffling her, eh, feet, I suppose, though I can't see them, since the dress covers them.

"I wasn't gonna go ALL the way..." Kherrie says, looking down, and brushing the 'hair' from her eyes, which were basically the same as previous, but fit to scale, if a bit large, proportionally speaking.

"Prank..?" I ask, my anger building to critical, aneurysm-inducing levels.

"Uhh... Mal, you okay?" Kherrie asks, and both Stargazer and Kherrie back up as I beging to growl and tremble.

"What... the... FUCK!?!?" I scream, causing the immediate area around me to suddenly start heating exponentially, and a nearby rack melts almost instantly as the two dunces back up in an effort to not get vaporized.

"Woah! Calm down, it was just a joke!" Kherrie says, and I launch a fireball at her, which she dodges, before speaking again:

"A JOKE!? THIS IS YOUR SICK, FUCKED-UP DEFINITION OF A JOKE!? WELL, HOW ABOUT A PUNCHLINE?!" I yell, lunging at her. We then tussle for a bit, and it finally settles with me putting Kherrie in a headlock, and squeezing. After a while of begging from Kherrie, Stargazer tries to pry me off, but I hiss at him, causing him to back away quickly.

"Boss, come on, you you other things to be doing than tormenting Kherrie!" Stargazer says, and I finally calm down enough to acknowledge him, and I loosen my grip on Kherrie, allowing her to gasp for air. Then, I release her, my anger still there, but not nearly as bad.

"Mal... That really hurt..." Kherrie says, teary-eyed.

"YOU MOLESTED ME AND ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK, YOU PSYCHO!!!" I yell, causing Kherrie to flinch.

"I just wanted to play a joke... why are you so mean?" Kherrie cries, activating her 'puppy eyes'. Christ, even in this form...

"Why are you trying to kill me!? You know I hate ghosts!" I exclaim, throwing my arms into the air for emphasis.

"No I didn't..." Kherrie says sheepishly.

"Oh..? Uh, Well now you do! And why were you tasting me?!" I ask, still disgusted by the scene with her licking me like a big piece of hard candy.

"I... uh... thought it would freak you out..." Kherrie explains, blushing, and causing me to facepalm.

"Ugh... you make me sick..." I sigh quietly, so no one can hear me. "...So, that aside, what's... this... all about?" I ask, gesturing toward her new form.

"Oh, well, I kinda evolved, I guess." Kherrie says, getting up, and then twirling for emphasis.

"I can see that. But, what I want to know is what caused it." I explain, and Kherrie giggles, then proceeds to explain:

"Well, when Celestia took my power, it diminished me to a size capable of being sustained on such low power, as the laws of this world go; when you takes someone's inherent power, they shrink in order for their bodies to continue existing." Kherrie explains, and I suddenly get it: like how a balloon shrinks when the air is let out, beings were the same with inherent magic.

"Well... that explains what happened to Celestia..." I mutter, remembering how, when I took Celestia's power, she became smaller, which is probably how she knew I took it.

"Yeah, I heard about that..." Stargazer says, looking to me with renewed intrigue and respect. Suddenly, though, we all stop dead when we hear soft, slow clapping from the other end of the hall, and see two red, twisted eyes glaring through the darkness.

"Well, well... You finally got it. Shame Kherrie had to be the one to explain it to you, though... she's not a very good teacher." Kragda-Maul says, stepping from the shadows, still slowly clapping. Suddenly, Kherrie turns extremely hostile, and she gets into an aggressive pose, ready to rush the rival old god.

"Kragda-Maul... Why are you here?! Our agreement was that you stayed out of my biz!" Kherrie cries, and Kragda-Maul chuckles, his smile growing into a condescending sneer.

"Yes, that WAS the deal... but, it seems you still lack the power to enforce it. Oh, how do you think Keenok and Tyrranax will react when they discover this, Kherrie?" Kragda-Maul sneers, and Kherrie growls, the air around her getting warmer. "And above all, that foul, 'new' language disgusts me. Maybe you are STILL too young for actual godhood." The demon says, and Kherrie responds immediately:

"That's not true! You see me now, Maul!? I'm stronger than I've been in years! Now get lost, before I turn you into paste!" Kherrie screams, extending her arms, which launches red thorns at Kragda-Maul. However, the old god of chaos and irony just yawns, and black, gooey tentacles emerge from the darkness behind him, and whip out at the thorns, stopping them dead.

"Now, now, Kherrie... you know what your temper got you last time, don't you?" Kragda-Maul asks, dismissing the tentacles. Kherrie, however, did not lower her arms, and seemed to get angrier at Kragda-Maul. Jeez, they weren't kidding about their 'history'.

"Hey, Stargazer, you should go and find that control room you were talking about... I should probably stop this." I say, gazing at the two bickering deities.

"Brilliant, and maybe you should sign a will while you're at it. They're both fine, lets get before they explode or something!" Stargazer says, grabbing my arm, and I'm pretty tempted to go with him. Still, I've grown... eh... what's the word... attached, i suppose, to Kherrie, despite her most recent antic,and would hate to see her 'explode or something', so I figure my best option is to at least try and stop the fighting before someone important dies.

"Guys, can't you two stop fighting for two seconds? This is kinda MY time, here..." I say, and the two old gods both glare daggers at me, but shut up.

"Malideus, you should not interfere in the affairs of old gods..." Kragda-Maul says, but I cut him off.

"What affairs? you two are just trying to kill each other for reason! That's not affairs, that's filler!" I shout, surprising the two, especially Kragda-Maul.

"He's just jealous 'cause I'm stylin' on him!" Kherrie says, twirling her dress, and Kragda Maul's face darkens as his frown becomes deeper and angrier.

"STOP TALKING, INSOLENT BRAT!!!" Kragda-Maul yells, balling his fists, then reaching in for a punch to Kherrie's gut, which she swiftly dodges.

"Why should I, you old fart?! You never gave me a chance, you never even liked me! But now I'm back, and strong as ever, and it's all thanks to Malideus!" Kherrie says, launching more thorns at Kragda-Maul, which are deflected by more tendrils.

"You were never ready! You always believed that things would simply go your way all the time, and You always abused your power in the worst of ways! But now it ends, Kherrie! Now, I will prevent our legacy from being squandered by you!" Kragda-Maul says, and I feel the need to walk away, but some unseen power prevents me from doing that, so I stand there, watching the two come to blows. And by unseen powers, I mean that my inner voice is being a bitch and forcing me into the hero role... again.

"You have to save them! You NEED them!" My inner voice compels.

"I only need ONE of them! Can't I just wait for them to settle this and align myself with the winner?" I ask mentally.

"That's just selfish and cruel! My voice chides.

"Yeah, I'm SUPPOSED to be selfish and cruel, remember?" I retort as the two old gods kill eachother.

"Stop this, for once in your life, just try to care about your allies other than as fodder!" My inner voice chides. "Look at Kherrie! What chance does she have against Kragda-Maul? She led you through the forest, and only wanted to be your friend, and now you're just gonna leave her to die?! Is that it?" My inner voice pressed, and I thought for a second, and sighed mentally, defeated. He's right, I can't just abandon Kherrie, that's a level of wrong I feel not only that I'm above, but just too mean, even for me... Even in light of her most recent 'prank'.

"Ugh... I hate you. Fine, I'll help her." I say, grumbling aloud.

"Well, you'd best get to helping her fast, Because Kragda-Maul's getting the upper hand." My inner voice says, And I see what he means: Kragda-Maul has gotten up and wrapped Kherrie all over with black tentacles, and is about to tear her apart.

"Ah, crap..." I mutter, and I walk forward, and cast a light spell, dispelling the tentacles, which draws Kragda-Maul's ire, and causes Kherrie to fall face-first to the floor.

"What is the meaning of this!? Why are you interfering, mortal?!" Kragda-Maul asks, grimacing.

"Alright, that's enough! I just wanted to invade and take Cloudsdale, not get sucked into this family feud! Now, either tell me what's going on, or I'm gonna lose it!" I shout, slamming my staff to the ground.

"... You should already know, Malideus. You have seen Kherrie for what she truly is: A common, two-bit prankster, and nothing more! She tried to assail the princesses, and she got what she deserved for overstepping her boundaries!" Kragda... You know, I'll just call him Krag for short. Anyway, Krag says this, and Kherrie gets up, and gets defensive.

"You're just jealous because you never had the guts to do it yourself! She was invading MY territory, and stealing MY subjects! You wouldn't know what that's like, because you're all buddy-buddies with Discord!" Kherrie shouts, tears streaming from her eyes. Oh, lord, I just can't win today.

"You can't judge me for making allies! I am smart, and made friends! You however, were weak and bashful! You never made allies, you always tormented others, and always got on my nerves!" Kragda-Maul retorts, his red eyes blazing.

"I am not weak!!!" Kherrie screams, throwing a barrage of poisonous-looking vines at Kragda-Maul.

"Oh, really? Then how do you explain falling from grace with a mortal? That IS weakness!" Kragda-Maul says, dodging the thorns. Then, Kherrie blushes furiously, and casts more thorns at him.

"Shut up!!! Shut up, shut up, shut up!!!!" Kherrie screams while futilely casting thorns at Kragda-Maul, and I start getting mixed feelings about this situation. Oh, God, please don't let that mortal be me.

"What..? What the heck are you two going on about now?" I ask reluctantly, And Krag's smile returns, wider than ever.

"Go, tell him Kherrie, or I will!" Kragda-Maul says, and Kherrie stops dead, her whole face turning really, really pale.

"Stay out of this, Mal! Kragda-Maul, you'd better stay quiet, or I'll rearrange your damn face!" Kherrie demands, and Kragda-Maul continues smiling, and turns to me.

"You haven't seen the clues, have you? Her attraction to sitting on YOUR shoulder, her agreeing with you, even her appearing before you and offering a contract!" Kragda-Maul says, and Kherrie tries to lunge, but I hold her back, both horrified and intrigued by this explanation.

"You bastard!!!" Kherrie screams at Kragda-Maul, struggling against my grip.

"Calm down, Kherrie! What are you getting at, Krag?" I ask, fighting to hold the old goddess back, and Kragda-Maul replies:

"Are you truly that naive, boy? The 'prank' alone should have been clue enough! Kherrie has become infatuated... with YOU!" Kragda-Maul laughs, and Kherrie falls limp, looking pitiful. I, however, am now shocked, and quite disturbed. Is this kind of thing even POSSIBLE?!

"W-wha..?" I ask, shocked, and Stargazer looks just as shocked as me. Finally, Kherrie whimpers, breaking free of my grasp.

"Yes, Malideus: Kherrie's weakness has allowed her to fall from grace with a mere mortal, such as yourself, and she now jeopardizes the legacy of the old gods with her disgusting, sinful, and shameful ways. To fall for a mortal... it's unthinkable!" Krag says, and I start having negative feelings about him.

"S-stop..." Kherrie sobs, and I'm tempted to comfort her, but lord knows how old gods get when they're sad...

"Now do you see, Malideus? Look at the sobbing, miserable excuse for a deity before you, and look at me. You know now why I must destroy her: she is a failure, and death is her only redemption. Now stand aside, before you get caught even further into this." Kragda-Maul says, his face becoming serious. Now, I have two options here: I can get involved and save an ally, but probably die, or I can run with my tail between my legs, and live, but betray my lovably quirky ally. I need a plan... and I just got one. It's risky, but I think it will work.

"Wait, Kragda-Maul... Don't kill her." I say, stepping in front of Kherrie, causing surprise from everyone.

"What..? Move, Malideus! You don't know what you're getting involved in!" Kragda-Maul says, and Kherrie raises her head.

"Mal... just move... you can't beat him... just leave me." Kherrie says sadly, but I refuse to be bossed around by some has-been old god of chaos.

"No. Listen here, Maul, and listen good! I don't know what this is about, and I don't really care. But no one else is dying here, especially not one of my own. Yeah, Kherrie's a screw-up, but she's MY screw-up, dammit, and she's leaving here with her life... even if I have to get drastic." I say, causing Kragda-Maul to get angry, and Kherrie to look at me with those puppy eyes, but happier.

"Malideus... Don't get involved..." Kragda-Maul mutters furiously, shaking with rage, and I flinch, now positive that I've made a mistake.

"Wait! Listen, I won't fight you, but I'll make any sacrifice necessary to spare Kherrie. Name your price, Maul. I'm sure I can afford it." I say, standing tall. Krag seems to think about this, and Kherrie gets up, seeming scared for me.

"Mal, what are you doing?! He'll just demand something expensive or crippling from you! Do you know ANYTHING about bargaining with old gods?" Kherrie asks.

"Kherrie, I survived several princess attacks, getting raped four or five times, not including you, and I played poker with Nicol Bolas and his friends. I got this." I say, and before Kherrie can respond, Kragda-Maul makes his decision:

"There is nothing you have that I want, Malideus. Stand aside, or risk destruction." Kragda-Maul say, and I panic.

"Wait! Wait... You said that I was wasting my talents by staying bound to Kherrie once, right?" I ask, and Kragda-Maul looks ponderous, but nods.

"Yes... I have said that..." He says, looking unsure of my intentions. Good, I've got his attention. Now... the kill.

"If you spare Kherrie, I'll call off my contract with her." I say, and Kherrie gets scared, but Krag looks ready to jump for joy.

"Oh, really... Why did I not think of that? Very well, Malideus. Do it now, and I'll spare that wretched child." Kragda-Maul says, but I don't fully trust him.

"What if you're just saying that?" I ask, not wanting to take unnecessary risks.

"Well, judging by your position, you don't seem to have an option other than to take my word for it, do you?" Kragda-Maul says, drawing my ire. He's right, I don't have a choice, but I hate taking these kinds of risks! Ugh, why can't life be simpler...

"Alright... fine." I say, and Krag chuckles evilly, smiling wide.

"Malideus... you don't have to do this... Please, just leave me..." Kherrie whimpers, but I ignore her.

"I want to denounce our contract, Kherrie. How do I do this?" I ask.

"Mal, please..." She pleads, but I put my hand on her head, shutting her up.

"Tell me." I demand, and Kherrie sighs, defeated.

"To break our contract... you must pay the price: a substantial amount of your power." Kherrie says, and I get that icky feeling again, and it's bad.

"Ehhh... And theirs no other way?" I ask, not happy with the prospect of being a shrimp, like Celestia was.

"No. It's your power, or my life." Kherrie says, a pleading look on her face. She doesn't want me to lose it all, but I don't want to lose her, not over something as stupid as this. Kherrie shows great promise now, and I want to see her full potential... even if I have to bet big. Hmm... bet... I got an idea! Old gods adhere to rules, too... I play this chump a game of poker, and I'll win Kherrie's life. But this guy looks like such a major cheater... Argh... what should I do!?... I hate making decisions...

Author's Notes:

Well, quite a pickle we're in, now! Now, it's your turn to decide again! Should Malideus pay the price, and give up some hard-earned power, fight the old god of chaos and irony himself, and risk horrible, horrible death, or should he play the hardest game of poker he's ever played for the life of his lovable companion?

And while you're deciding, here's a brief history of some old gods:

Tyrranax: Actually called "Grand Nightmare Tyrranax", he is the old god of fear and cruelty, and takes the form of a giant, armored humanoid with little of his body revealed, and giant, black armor. what is shown of his actual body is seen as an oozing, red liquid. He is rivals with Klein, old god of perfection and order.

Keenok: Old god of misfortune, he takes the form of a giant, violet serpent with four scythe-like arms, and only appears to those about to die from their bad luck, to harvest their souls. He despises Kherrie for assisting Klein in one territory battle, losing him over half of his power and followers to the both of them.

Kragda-Maul: Old god of chaos and irony, has a long-standing hatred of the more carefree and docile old gods, such as Kherrie, seeing them as 'weak, abhorrent children, unfit to carry our legacy', though he himself is quite snarky, laid-back, and full of himself. This is not unjustified, however, as he is the oldest and most powerful old god known, second only to the long-dead Ragnek the Unmaker, old god of inevitability and endings, who's influence is still felt, many years after he was defeated. Kragda-Maul's rivalry with Kherrie has gone on longer than he lets on, but how it started is unknown.