I can't decide... thoughts are racing through my head, as Kragda-Maul stands there, looking smug and victorious, and Kherrie's just sobbing. Each decision I make will alter the course of my war, and right now, I can't afford to make a bad call. On one hand, I could play him, but on the other, I could save some trouble and just fold. Both choices are certain death, and I can't get into character to bluff my way out of this! Ugh, why did autopilot have to bail on me?!

"Well, Malideus? have you made your decision?" Kragda-Maul asks, catching me off-guard, and I secretly grit my teeth, furious at my own incompetence. Play him, many voices in my head cried, but the rest told me to give in, and accept my losses. I hate losing, I really do... and that's why I've got to think fast. I play a mean game of poker, Nicol Bolas himself can tell you, but that was on neutral ground, with several opposing factors. This was a game of chance, in his world, and with no other factors. I was bound to lose if I fought him or played him... But I can't back down while others are looking. I have to do something, and both fighting and B.S.ing are my specialties. I have to do something, and if I have to get a little hammy, then so be it.

"Krag, we've been in business for a while now, and I don't want to fight you. But if I have to, then I will." I say, not really sure if I want to go through with this. He's a god, for crying out loud!

"I sense your hesitation, Malideus. You know you cannot win, and it's wise that you do. Stand aside, boy, and let me do the world a favor." Kragda-Maul says, stepping forward.

"Mal, he's going to kill you! Just back off and let him kill her!" Stargazer shouts, but I ignore him, standing my ground. I've come too far and worked too hard to back down from anyone, and if I give ground to Kragda-Maul, I may never get it back. I run the risk of losing more than some power if I falter; I risk my standing, my progress, and a powerful, loyal ally if I back down to this jerk. I have to stand, now or never.

"Listen to your mortal friend, Malideus. Stand aside, or risk destruction. What I do must be done, and you will not interfere with my plans." Kragda-Maul says, his voice low and serious. "You cannot fight the oldest and most powerful old god in existence!" Krag finishes loudly, shaking the facility, and Kherrie shudders, looking up to him, glaring daggers at the old god as if all her hate was focused on him.

"That's a lie." She says, and Kragda-Maul stops dead, as if that struck a nerve.

"What..?" Krag asks slowly, blinded with rage.

"I said... that that's a damned lie! The most powerful of us... was Ragnek! You were always just a distant second to him, and you always will be, Maul!" Kherrie says, looking as if to get up, but she stays down, still distraught over something. Eh, girls will be girls... Wait... Ragnek?

"Kherrie... who is Ragnek?" I ask nervously, feeling the name grow more and more familiar. I've never heard it before, but just sounds so familiar, and in such an odd way.

"What would you care, Malideus? Our kind is of little concern to you, even the dead ones! Stand aside, before you get too deep into this!" Kragda-Maul thunders, launching several tendrils at me, which I destroy with a simple light spell.

"I don't need a reason to care! Kherrie, who is Ragnek?" I ask again, more impatiently, this time,, and Kherrie sighs, and looks up to me with a pleading look before continuing:

"Ragnek... was an old god, just like us. However, he was not just any old god. Among us, he was a titan, the first born, and the most powerful ever. His domain was over the end of all things, and the inevitability of death and decay. When we came to take our places beneath him, a few of us accepted his rule, for he was not unkind or cruel.

"However, many old gods grew to covet immortality, and either feared the end, or became jealous of his permanence in the world, while we rotted away and died. Those who opposed him struck against him, one at a time, at first. Ragnek beat everyone, though, until the remainder banded together, and banished him to Tartarus. Then, they begun replacing those they lost to Ragnek with new spirits, and I was one of those newborns." Kherrie explained. I almost said something, when Maul burst out:

"None of this has any relevance! Yes, Ragnek was powerful and all that, and Kherrie is a failure of a child! Why are you stalling for a history lesson?" Krag asked loudly, and I looked back to him, glaring.

"I'm just curious, Maul. Why are you so hell-bent on destroying her for 'corrupting your legacy'? Aren't you old gods immortal?" I ask angrily, and Kragda-Maul looks around, as if for support, but finds none, and sighs before explaining:

"... No. We are not. We still exist under the influence of Ragnek, so we made the new spirits, Like Kherrie, to be in our likeness, but to be unaffected by Ragnek's influence. It worked... to an extent." Kragda-Maul says solemnly, looking angrily at Kherrie.

"What do you mean, 'to an extent'?" I ask.

"We made the spirits to replace us, using our own essence to create them, like children, and I, myself, created Kherrie. However, she was rebellious! She was meant to replace my role, but she took up nature instead! I tried to be patient with her, but the more she grew, the less like me she became, until she turned into what might have been the closest to my polar opposite she could become. When I deemed her a failure and tried to reabsorb her to create another and try again, she struck back at me and fled, and she hid until she became strong enough to oppose me, devouring my brother in the process." Maul explains, and he tenses as he finishes, his rage seeming to build higher by the second.

"...That is why she must be destroyed while she is weak! I refuse to die with this failure as my remaining seed!" Kragda-Maul shouts, and Kherrie chokes up, falling to the ground again. Dammit, I'm surrounded by daddy/daughter issues! This is the WORST cliche'-fest I've ever had the misfortune to be a part of! Still, this is no time to regret being surrounded by loonies. Kragda-Maul wants to reabsorb Kherrie, and I don't like the prospect of having her replaced by another, probably less-helpful version of Krag. Plus, I don't know why, but I kinda like Kherrie; she's like that little sister I never had, except she's in love with me, and she's a plant goddess. Still, the only way to end this is to either cut my losses, or put up my fists and fight. Either way, I gotta do something.

"Alright, Maul. I didn't want to fight you, but now I feel like I have to. Nothing personal, I'd just rather not have another you running around; one is quite enough." I say, getting hammy against my will. Damn you, inner voice!

"..... I really hope that you are joking, Malideus." Kragda-Maul growls, looking at me with enough disappointment to make a normal man drop dead. Thankfully, I'm far from normal... I think.

"I shit you not, Kragda-Maul. If fighting you is what it takes, then so be it." I say calmly, though my insides were mangled up in tangled-up knots. This is going to hurt, I just know it, and I REALLY don't want another beating.

" This is childish. Move aside, Malideus, or I'm going to really hurt you!" Kragda-Maul says, his stance becoming aggressive, but I stand there, resting my hands on the tip of my staff.

"None shall pass." I say dramatically. Kragda then looks at me for a few seconds, and scowls deeper, taking a more threatening posture.

"As old god of Chaos, Irony, and the world of pain you're going to enter in a second, I command you to step aside!" Kragda-Maul bellows, but I still stand there like an idiot, which somehow impresses everyone in the vicinity.

"I move... for no man, er, demon." I say again, slower this time, for added effect. Well, this isn't as hard as I thought. What was I afraid of? Oh, right, The old god of chaos and irony!

"I must destroy Kherrie, whether you comply or not. Now, You will let me past, or I will go through myself!" Kragda-Maul retorts, his voice lowering aggressively.

"Then you will die." I say just as aggressively, getting into character for my biggest fight yet. I figured that if I was going to die, I was gonna die like a baws, and who's a bigger baws than the black knight himself?

"Mal, what are you doing?! He's going to kill you!" Kherrie pleads, tugging on my robe.

"Relax, girl, I got this!" I say outwardly, but I immediately take everything back when Maul grabs my neck, lifts me into the air, and throws me into Stargazer. Oogh, I forgot how much getting hit hurts...

"Now... back to business..." Kragda-Maul says, approaching Kherrie, but then I get up, run at him, and drop-kick his black ass, causing him to roar in pain as he falls over. Before I can cheer for my own victory, though, he immediately gets up, turns around, and proceeds to punch, kick, and headbutt me like a freakin' ninja, with me unable to block him. Damn, he's fast! And while he's opening a can of whoop-ass on poor old me, Kherrie and stargazer try to get involved, with Kherrie hurling vines at Maul, and Stargazer hurling some minor spells at him. However, he immediately blocks every one of the attacks like a freakin' boss, and I begin to think that, maybe, I should have just broken the contract and taken his word that he'd leave her alone. But that's in the past, and the present is full of Stargazer getting roundhouse kicked into Kherrie, and me getting lifted and thrown into another machine. Hmm... kind of like... Celestia...

"Those moves..." I gasp, struggling to get up after my recent beat-down. "...They look like the same ones Celestia was using." I finally say, and Kragda-Maul gets into position, smiling.

"Of course they do. After all, I'm the one who taught them to her." Kragda-Maul says, shocking me. That may have been before we first spoke, but still! That's not cool!

"You succubutt!" I yell, swinging my staff at Maul. As soon as he catches the feint attack, I raise my foot to kick him, but he catches that, too.

"Like I said, Malideus, I help EVERYONE, even pesky princesses. I told you that there was no chance of beating me, but you did not heed my warnings. Now, you will die, just as I said you would." Kragda-Maul says. Then, he turns me, kicks me in the back, and grabs my neck in a sleeper hold, flipping onto his back and throwing me backwards, onto mine. Kherrie tries to help, but Maul dodges each attack, despite being on his back, and I slowly start to black out from oxygen deprivation. But I continue to fight his grip, and I eventually slip my head out of his arm, and get up, stumbling due to my light-headedness. Is there really no way to beat this guy?! He has all my moves, and none of my weaknesses! I need something low, or sudden... but what?

"Give up, worms! My fight-power is too extreme!" Krag says, but I ignore his monologue, and rush him again, lowering my head, so my horns go into him. Sure enough, he doesn't see me, and I jam my horns into his torso, and wrap my arms around him, pushing him into another machine. As we hit it, though, my horns are forced out by the impact, and Kragda-Maul punches me in the side two times, and as soon as I let go, he grabs my robe, and pins ME to the machine, and proceeds to wail on my face, which, thankfully, is protected by an invincible helmet. Still, the shock of the blows alone feels like a freight train plowing into my face, over, and over, and over. Finally, having had enough of this, I quickly grab his fist, and send an entire thunderstorm of electricity into the demon, causing him to tense up and freeze, unable to move due to thousands of volts of raw electricity being pumped into his inky, but well-toned body. However, my magic is only limited, and I don't know how long I can last before I give in. Finally, I run out of juice, and Kragda-Maul drops me, stumbles backward, and starts panting heavily, his own stamina running low after that 'shocking' turn of events. Hee hee, I made a funny!

"What... ugh... that power..." Kragda-Maul mumbles tiredly, and I take that advantage to rush him, and land as many cheap shots on him as possible: I start by kicking his leg at the knee, which proceeds to snap backwards as the large demon cries out, and then I grab his head with one hand as he's bent, and slam it into my knee as hard as I can, at least three times, each time leaving a viscous, blue liquid on my leg armor, likely his blood. Do gods even bleed? Anyway, his head flies up as he recoils from my assault, holding his messed-up face as he goes. Then, I land a cheap punch into his gut, making Kragda-Maul double over, holding his now ripped-open abdomen, and I elbow the back of his head while he's down, finishing my awesome combo. Kragda-Maul then falls to the floor, lying in a pool of his own dark-blue blood, and my own blood is pounding in my ears, my adrenaline at full blast. I can't hear them over the pumping, but I know the others are cheering for me, especially Kherrie. Hell, even Xenia showed up, and was jumping for joy. Before I can turn to face them, though, Maul grabs by leg, lifts me up, despite his own injuries, and slams me into a wall. Then, he pulls me out, and slams me into the floor, and repeats the process with a slam into YET ANOTHER machine.

"You... cowardly... insignificant... annoying... INSECT!!!" Kragda-Maul screams, pulling me out of the machine, and throwing me at my minions, but Kherrie catches me, and I get up, dizzy, but not significantly worse of than before Maul went ape-shit, pardon my French.

"Mal, are you okay?" Xenia asks, and I raise my hand, silencing her.

"I... I'm fine... dizzy, but fine... Let's end this, Maul... once and for all." I say, cracking my knuckles, and Kragda-Maul's right eye twitches twice, and he roars, a horrible sound reminiscent to a combination of prolonged thunder, screeching metal, and a T-rex, and the demon charges me, fists ablaze with blue, eerie-looking fire, and I stand tall, my own fists ready. Then, I feel everything start to slow down, like with Luna, the last time I fought her.

Kragda-Maul is soon upon me as I prepare, and he throws his fist at me, but I dodge, not wanting to know what the fire was for. He then tries to knee me in the gut, but I bend around that, Matrix-style, grab his leg, and I break it again with my elbow, this time hitting the bone. A sickening crunch resounds from his leg, and Maul cries out, but He's not done yet. Kragda-Maul then recovers, grabs my face, and lifts me over his head, throwing me backwards. Then, he jumps, going in for a body-slam, and I use my remaining stamina to roll to the side, and I get up, with the old god following suit. He looks terrible, with a mangled-up face, blue blood all over him and the floor, and his leg is bending the wrong way. Still, the demon fights on, punching, kicking, and headbutting me, all with more force I can take. Finally, after several swift blows, Kragda-Maul land his finisher: one swift punch to my exposed gut, and I go down, hitting the floor like a bag of rocks. Dammit... I think I got owned.

"You... fought well... little mortal... but this fight... and your life... are both mine. Goodbye... Malideus... GRAK!!!" Maul cries out, and I look at him with my remaining strength, to see that a thorny vine has pierced his throat, and has come out the other end. I look back to the source, and, to little surprise, I see Kherrie, a vine outstretched from her Kimono, and she looks PISSED.

"Don't... you... fucking... touch him!" Kherrie exclaims, raising the vine upwards, which flings Kragda-Maul into the air, and she brings it down, throwing the demon likewise. Kherrie then retracts her vine-arm, and walks up to me, holding me tight. Remember how I said I don't like being held or manhandled? Well, I think I just got over that.

"Mal... I'm so sorry I dragged you into this..." Kherrie sobs, and I strain to get up, but I do, and manage to choke out some words in the process:

"Don't... be... I think... I think I've actually met a match... I can be proud of..." I wheeze, my lungs filling with blood. Still, I can get up, and I try to, but Kherrie holds me down.

"Don't get up. There's too much of you that's broken. Please, let us finish this fight." Kherrie says, and I obey, collapsing.

"Ugh... Kherrie... If I live through this... remind me to NEVER piss your dad off again..." I mutter, and Kherrie smiles, nodding.

"I will." She says, but I grip her hand tightly, invoking surprise from her.

"I mean it. My lungs are full of blood, and this really fucking hurts." I say seriously, and Kherrie nods, setting me down and getting up. God, I feel so lazy right now. Still, I've got a good view of the fight, and Kragda-Maul has gotten up, and boy, if Kherrie was pissed, this guy was on the verge of an aneurysm: He was covered in blue flames, his head had sprouted two giant horns, his eyes were streaming red fire, and his arms had tuned into messes of spikes, blades, and claws. In short, the dude looked like the fucking Balrog on crack and recolored like a Sonic the hedgehog OC.

"Oh, damn..." I mutter as he gets up, spouting some gibberish in a language I didn't understand, but Kherrie sure understood it, and she responded appropriately:

"Oh yeah? Well, up yours, dad!!!" Kherrie screams, and she rushes the massive demon, who almost swatts her away, but recoils from a shot to the head from Xenia's rifle, and Kherrie leaps at him, gripps Maul's chest, and forces her hand into it, causing Maul to bellow in pain, before he grabbs Kherrie, and throws her to stargazer, who aptly dodges her, unwilling to get anyone else thrown at him.

"Khun Wa'ii! Lokiir nok zhu'taa!" Kragda-Maul roars, confusing me. I don't know what the hell he said, but it sounds threatening, so I'm pretty sure it was aimed at Kherrie.

"What..?" I mutter, but no one hears me, and Kherrie gets back up, and Xenia fires at Maul again, hitting his chest where Kherrie tore into him. This caused Kragda-Maul to roar again, more in anger than pain this time, though, and he opens his mouth, and a giant, red beam of energy blasts out like a spartan laser, sans the charge time. Xenia dodges, though, causing the beam to miss her by mere inches, and make a giant, superheated hole in the wall behind her. Then, Stargazer finally decides to man up, and he launches bolt after bolt of magic at Maul, causing minor recoil on the demon's part as the bolts impact him, as Xenia reloads, and takes another shot at Maul's chest. Then, Kherrie goes right back into action, trying to reach into his chest, but Kragda-Maul anticipates this move, and swings his arm down on Kherrie, pounding her into the floor, and leaving a massive crater. Still, Kherrie fights on, getting up, and moving backward as another fist slams into the floor, leaving another crater. Well, this is nice. I'm half-dead, and two girls and a scholar are fighting my fight for me. What happened to my power? I thought I was invincible!

"Maybe Kragda-Maul absorbed some of it somehow? He seems to have healed rather nicely for someone who, only mere seconds ago, got his ass handed to him by a 'mere mortal'." my inner voice notes, and I begin to wonder: Maybe he did take some power! But if so, why don't I feel smaller?

"That's with INHERENT power, dumbass. All YOUR power is technically stolen, so you had nothing to really lose." my inner voice reasons, and I feel bad about my loss, but this at least gives me some closure. Plus, I won't shrink if I get sapped! Bonus! Anyway, back to the fight, Kherrie and my other minions, despite their best efforts, simply cannot best Kragda-Maul, so I do something pretty fucking drastic: I try to heal myself.

"Alright... this is gonna hurt..." I mutter, switching my spells out, and as my hands glow with a golden, warm aura, I grasp my chest, forcing it to heal. Needless to say, it was the single most unpleasant experience of my entire life, as my nerves felt like pure agony while my ribs snapped back into place, and my lungs resealed themselves, and the blood was flushed from them. God, now I know how Celestia felt... if I survive this, I'll never make fun of her weight ever again. Granted, I'll still whoop her fat ass any day of the week, but there'll be no more fat jokes from me... after that one. Anyway, my moments of agony are done and over, and I've managed to get up and stand, feeling much better, now that my lungs aren't shredded by the shards of my broken ribs. To think, I would have died if I didn't do that... So now, I'm fighting fit, and fighting mad, and my minions need their leader. So, I get up,just as Kherrie flies past me, having been swatted away by Kragda-Maul.

"Uwaa da! Sekh noktu du'waa!!!!" Kragda-Maul roars, and I still have no clue what he's saying, but it's not aimed at me... yet. Finally, all eyes are on me, and I walk to the center of the stage, Hammier than ever.

"I have no idea what you just said, Maul..." I say, and I crack my knuckles, before continuing. "... But I'm going to make you eat those words." I finish, and Kragda-Maul looks shocked, as with the rest of my allies, but he soon regains his composure, and charges me, bellowing.

"You won't win this, Chris!!! I am Kragda-Maul, The Thing That Should Not Be!!! You are nothing!!! NOTHING!!!" Maul declares, rushing me, but I stand firm, ready to take this guy. My teammates roughed him up, but I was gonna finish him, and with a witty one-liner, no less.

"Your dark fires will not avail you!" I shout, raising my staff high over my head, prepared to do something so incredibly awesome, that anyone who survives this will tell their kids, and will become legend for many eons to come. Maul continues his warpath, though, and roars, forcing me to take action. "... YOU, SHALL NOT, PASS!!!" I shout, finishing my line. Then, I slam my staff to the floor, causing cracks to appear below me, as I absorb the power keeping the clouds afloat in that particular area, to make up for what I lost. Now, the floor below us was giving way, having nothing to sit on, and Kragda-Maul falls first, trying to grasp at the floor at my feet. He catches it, but he's still dangling from the ledge, completely at my mercy. So, I press my staff to his head, and send a wave of force through his body, tearing the demon apart, and exhausting me beyond recovery. I then fall to my knees as Maul's death cry echoes through the land, and Kherrie looks to me, as do the rest of my minions, as I teeter on the edge of the hole I made, about to fall through.

"Mal! No!" Kherrie cries, and my eyes flutter, only briefly, so I can look her in the eyes, and tell her the single most serious, and important thing I have ever told her, or anyone else I've ever met:

"Fly... you fools..." I say, and I pass out, smiling as a fall. Yeah, I just went there. God, I hope I don't splat on the ground, that would just... oh, right, unconscious. I'll just skip ahead...

I soon wake up on soft, earthen ground, my eyes refusing to open, and my body in a world of pain, like I was just pushed under a steam roller after losing a gang fight. Still, I'm alive, and that's all that matters. At least, I think it does. I get up, despite my pain, and look around, not sure where I am. I appear to be in some kind of dark, foreboding forest-like area, but it's not the Everfree: everything is grey and dead, and fog is everywhere. It looks like a graveyard here... but where are the graves? Hell, where's the YARD?

"Ohhh... where am I..?" I ask, gripping my... well... everything, in an attempt to make it all stop aching. How did I survive that fall? Where did I even land? Ugh, these questions aren't helping my head recover, that's for sure... "How... Did the wind take me here, by chance? It was pretty high up..." I mutter, and I then reason that that must be it. But the fall... Oh, never mind, lucky landing, I guess. Still, I have no idea where I am. I look up to try and find Cloudsdale, but I see nothing but empty sky. Some wind that must have been. Well, I am now lost, and I don't handle getting lost very well. I begin to go into a panic attack, when I hear some non-Kherrie-like giggling from behind a tree, and flip my shit.

"Who's there?! I have a staff, and I know how to use it!" I shout, and the giggling stops, and I calm down. I hate ghosts, and these sound like ghosts to me. Oh, what sick, Silent Hill-esque hell have I landed in this time? Whatever it is, I am NOT having fun. And, as if on cue, I hear the laughter again, taunting me, and really pissing me off, now.

"Oh, lookie! He's awake!" one voice exclaims.

"Ssh! You'll blow our cover!" another hisses, silencing the first voice.

"He already knows we're here... Let's stop tormenting him, and just let him face us, already." a third voice chimes, and all goes silent for a while. Finally, I hear hoofbeats, indicating ponies, but what would ponies be doing here? As if to answer that question, three earth pony-like creatures appear from behind separate trees, but something's... off. They look pale, with thin, graceful features, more so than normal ponies, though they seem rather young, and they have odd, cat-like eyes, each pair a different shade: One yellow, one green, and the third pair was purple. And finally, to top it all off, they wore even less than Xenia, which was saying something: Basically, a loincloth each, that was it. They were female, by the look of it, but that observation did nothing to solve my fears. In fact, it made them worse.

"I swear to Nicol mother-fucking Bolas, if you three are vampires..." I threaten, raising my staff.

"We can if you want us to be." The green-eyed one, and the oldest, by appearance, says sultrily, edging closer to me.

"We can be whatever we want, really." The purple-eyed one, clearly the youngest of the three, says, shrugging, a bored expression on her face. Okay, I'm done with this.

"So, what, are you three changelings?" I ask, and the three odd, pony-like creatures pause, looking surprised. Then, they turn to look at each other, and, finally, they break out into laughter, tears falling from their yes as they did. Clearly, that was some kind of joke to them. Joy, I discovered super-changelings. What luck.

"Oh, no, we are not changelings! In fact, changelings WISH they were us!" The yellow-eyed one says, her voice high and playful, like a child.

"Then... what are you?" I ask, afraid they might be something horrible.

"We... are pooka!" The green-eyed leader exclaims, and the three strike a dramatic pose, which would have been funny, if I wasn't so sure I was about to die right there. The fuck was a 'pooka', anyway?!

"Uh... pooka?" I ask, not sure what that was, or why it didn't sound very threatening, for such threatening creatures.

"Yes, pooka. We are the denizens of this place, and can become whatever we please. And, so you don't get the wrong idea, we serve only one ruler: Virgil Wrathborne." The youngest, purple-eyed one says, rather boredly, and the others nod in agreement. Quite an odd crowd...

"Okay... Look, I don't want any trouble, with you or this 'Virgil' dude, so if you can not surround me and let me get the bloody fuck out of here?" I ask pleadingly, and the green-eyed and the yellow-eyed pooka... pookas? Pooki? Anyway, they burst into a giggling fit, and even the bored, purple-eyed one cracks a disturbing smile, one full of sharp fangs and malice.

"Oh, silly wizard... we don't seek quarrel with you... in fact, quite the opposite!" yellow-eyes says, and green-eyes suddenly appears beside me, leaning on my shoulder. Good god, I just noticed she's a head taller than me. Anyway, she takes over:

"As it turns out, our leader, and our nation, has needed help for a while now, and you, sir, are just the help we need!" She says, smiling broadly.

"Yeah... What kind of nation IS this, exactly?" I ask, quite nervously. It'd better not be undead... or the fire nation.

"Oh, just the nation of the unwanted, including Bat-ponies, us pooka, and even the undead. Heck, our leader is a necromancer! A living lich, so to speak." green-eyes says, and I facepalm. I fucking knew it!

"Joy... Well, I'd love to help you... three... but I have my own incursion to run, so if you'll excuse me..." I say, walking away from the three nightmarish creatures, but the purple-eyed one blocks my path, staring me down (despite being much shorter than me) with her cold, blank expression, and I stop dead.

"Well, can't you at least try? I assure you, it will not take long to help!" The leader says, and the youngest one nods, still eyeing me unnervingly.

"Why MY help? Do you even know who I am?" I ask, and the leader chuckles playfully, grabbing my shoulder.

"Why, of course! You're Malideus, correct? The bane of the princesses?" she asks. Well, they DO know who I am. Huh.

"Y-yes... But that doesn't mean I'm open for hire!" I say, edging away from the green-eyed leader.

"Oh, please, Mr. Malideus, sir?" the childish, yellow-eyed one pleads, putting her face close to mine, and expertly activating her 'puppy eyes'. Oh, lord, this again... between that and that unnerving youngest one...

"Fine. But only because I'm a nice evil wizard!" I exclaim, and the yellow-eyed one hugs me playfully, cheering.

"Yay! Our hero!" She says, and the other two smile, and tell her to let go, after they see me tense up in an extreme way. Why wouldn't I? They were bloody, well, things!

"Okay, Mr. 'Nice wizard'. Follow us... and try not to wander off, we won't be held responsible if anything mistakes you for food or an intruder." the leader of the three says, and I reluctantly go with them, too terrified to act against them. But if this turns out to be a trap, I'm gonna get over it real quick.

"You three better not even TRY to trick me... or else." I threaten, raising my staff in a gesture of warning. However, none of them seem scared, and just keep walking, oblivious to my fear and threatening posture.

"Oh, don't worry, sir, there'll be no need for violence here. Oh, but it's so rude of us to just drag you off without introducing ourselves!" the leader says, stopping, and the other two follow suit. God, dammit. "My name is Whinn, and it's an honor to meet you." The leader says. Then, the yellow-eyed one steps up:

"I'm Dinn! Pleased to meet you, oh brave sir Malideus!" the pooka says, bowing dramatically. Finally, the youngest-looking one coughs, drawing my attention, but retains her flat, bored look as she introduces herself:

"... I'm Kinua." She says flatly, glancing to the side for some reason, as if the name embarrassed her, though nothing showed on her face. I don't like this one... At all. At least her name doesn't rhyme with the other two's...

"Okay... cool..." I say, wanting to get this done with as soon as possible. The less time I spend in this creepy-ass place, the better.

"Yes, and now that we've introduced ourselves, let us be off! Lord Virgil will be most pleased to know of your arrival!" Whinn says, grabbing my arm, a gesture I am too unnerved to react to. Still, they want haste, and so do I, so I go with them, seeing no other way.

Oh, lord Nicol Bolas, please don't let this be a trap!

Author's Notes:

It's probably a trap.

Anyway, sorry about the incident, it won't happen again! And for your patience, I've decided to tell you something!

Malideus is going to have his very own arch-rival soon, so prepare your respective anuses!

Until next time, you bloody heathens.