"Luna. any particular reason for this... honor?" I ask, gritting my teeth at the word. This was most certainly NOT an honor, and I would rather pleasure Whip than talk to her, but she seems to think otherwise.

"Chris, do you have any idea what you have just done?" Luna asks.

"I have a couple. Let's see, I kidnapped and tortured princess OCD, I burned Ponyville to the ground, and stole Hearthswarming." I reply, and Luna grits her teeth in anger.

"And you have no remorse for any of that?! What depravity has entered your mind, Chris, that you should turn from one so kind and noble, and shift into... this?! What is this sickness that compels you to be so cruel?" Luna asks, striking several nerves with me.

"There is no sickness in me. You are the sickness! You think that good always triumphs over evil, but good doesn't get the little man jack shit! I lived in an apartment before I got here! I never had a girlfriend! I never got paid any attention! Good is the sickness, Luna! It only benefits those who use it as an excuse to rule! There is no good, Luna, only power and ambition." I say, and Luna seems taken aback by this.

"How could you think such things? Good exists everywhere, in the hearts of those who serve their people, in the deeds they do for everyone else! How could you say that good does not exist?" She says, and I laugh.

"Because, Luna, look at you! You were poised to take over the world, and now you have no ambition, no drive to be anything but number two!" I yell, and Luna seems shocked by my words.

"If you are implying that I am lesser than my sister..."

"Then why do you never question her, Luna? I KNOW that at some point, she has done something questionable, and you have said nothing! All leaders make mistakes, Luna, and this aberration you call a world is one of them! You are weak, and your ideals are shit! Your soldiers, champions, and even your own sister can't handle me, an 18-year-old loser with no remarkable powers to speak of! Your world is soft, and I'm going to fuck it over until it learns how to fight back! And the best part, dear, sweet Luna, is that you, your sister, and your army can do nothing to stop me!" I rant, and Luna seems on the verge of tears. Then, her face fills with determination, and she strikes back.

"You are wrong! I am not my sister, nor my soldiers! You may have defeated them, but you will not defeat me! I will cast down Malideus, and you will see the errors of your ways!" Luna says, and I smile. Her corruption has begun, and my plan is working brilliantly.

"So you say, Luna. But how do I trust in that? What if you are no different than your sister?" I ask, and Luna grumbles something I can't quite catch, but I know it's directed at me.

"I will show you, Chris. I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth myself, and I will defeat you! And when I have, I will show you that good is everywhere, and will always triumph!" She says.

"Ha! I have an army of devils, a dragon, and, of course, myself. The only way you could ever defeat me was if you somehow caught me alone, which will NEVER happen!" I say, then I realize WHAT I said, and facepalm.

"Uh, forget I said that." I say, but Luna smiles.

"Too late." she says, then vanishes, and I wake up, panting and nervous, at the cave mouth, now significantly more paranoid, expressed when Whip grabs my shoulder and I punch her in the face by accident.

"Oh shit! Whip, are you okay!?" I ask, and Whip groans.

"I... I think... I think I came a little..." She moans.

"Ugh, you're fine." I say in 'mild' disgust. Then, Whip gets up and pops her jaw back into place.

"Oh, jeez, sir, where did you learn to punch like that?" Whip asks me, and I have to think about that; It's been ages since I've been asked that question.

"Oh, I learned mixed martial arts when I was 16, always thought I could use it for something, but I guess I just don't like using it, with all the techniques and complicated moves and whatnot." I say, and Whip seems dismayed by my answer.

"Are you kidding!? That sounds awesome! Why have you never used it before?" She asks, and I shrug.

"Like I said, too complicated. Plus, it kinda feels like cheating." I say, and then I realize how dumb that sounded.

"Sir, that's dumb. You should totally use it on your enemies! That punch felt like getting hit by a bolt of lightning! Trust me, I know." Whip says, and I decide I don't want to know. Nonetheless, I realize that she might be right. I don't know why I never used it before, but I think I should give it a shot.

"Well, I don't know, I haven't used it in a really long time..." I say.

"Oh, come on! You just need some practice! Hit me again!" Whip says, and I shrug, get into my stance, then I grapple Whip, flip her upside-down, and slam her headfirst into the ground all in one fluid motion. Then, Mizzy walks out here to see what's going on. Needless to say, she isn't happy with me.

"Mal! Why are you trying to kill the poor changeling?" She asks, pulling Whip, who is now barely conscious, away from me.

"She asked for it!" I said in my defense, but that was stupid: That's something you say when someone's pissing you off.

"Mal, I don't care if she's a masochist, it doesn't make her invincible. What did she do to deserve... whatever that was?" She asks. God, I sure feel embarrassed.

"She told me to hit her." I reply.

"That wasn't hitting, Mal, I'm not even sure WHAT that was!" She says. "But seriously, though, what was that?"

"Mixed martial arts." I respond solemnly.

"Mixed what now?" Mizzy asks.

"Mixed Martial Arts. It's kind of a thing where I'm from." I say, and Mizzy seems interested.

"It looks dangerous. Why haven't you ever told me you could use it?" Mizzy asks, and I shrug.

"Never crossed my mind. Besides, I barely remember how to use it anymore." I say, but Mizzy seems unsatisfied with my answer.

"Sure looks like you know enough to me." she retorts.

"That's not all it is, Mizzy, there's moves and techniques you have to know if you want to be good at it, and I barely remember any of them." I say.

"Well, then let's give you a refresher course; All we need is a training dummy." Mizzy says, and Whip launches upward, hand raised.

"I volunteer!" she shouts, surprising Mizzy and I both.

"She recovers fast!" I say, and Mizzy groans in annoyance.

"Oh, fine. But don't go overboard, I don't want anyone dying." Mizzy says, and after some setting up (and much protest on my part), the refresher course begins. We have a bunch of matresses in replacement of a training mat, and Whip stands at the center of the makeshift arena, refusing to wear padding. She says that it's to 'prevent any restraint of the lesson', but I know the real reason. Hell, we all do. Nonetheless, she stands there, ready for her beat-down.

"I really don't want to go through with this!" I say, but Mizzy pays no attention.

"I don't care. Now, Whip's going to try and pin you, and you're gonna use that mixed marital stuff to defend yourself." She says, and I quickly correct her mistake.

"It's Mixed MARTIAL arts, and I'm not..."

"I don't care. GO!" Mizzy yells, interrupting me, and Whip charges me, but I do nothing. I said no, and I meant it. However, I didn't take into account that changelings have no sense of restraint, and when Whip hit me, she forced me to the mat with enough force to knock the wind out of me, and proceeded to 'grapple' me in the most deliberately sexual ways possible, which kinda pissed me off... and hurt, a lot.

"Come on, Mal, what was that? If you allow Whip to do that again, I'm gonna let her do what she wants to you, you hear me?" Mizzy says, and I gulp at the horrible thought of... well, you know.

So, we get back up, and I intend to just dodge Whip this time, nothing more. So, once again, Whip charges me, and I sidestep, sending her running into a wall. However, before I can turn around, she turns around, and launches at me, grabbing me. She then tries to force me down, but I stand strong, trying to push her off. Jesus Christ, this girl has a grip! Still, I try, but she won't budge, so I decide to use some of my skills to get her off... and I end up flipping her all kinds of ways, and throwing her into a wall, totally by accident. Still, she's out of it, and Mizzy is staring at me like I'd grown a third eye.

"Holy crap, Mal..." She says, and I get defensive.

"Oh no, oh, no no no. This was only a fluke, and I am never doing that again." I say. I am NOT physical, contrary to popular belief, and hand-to-hand combat implies that I'll get hurt too, which I am NOT okay with. Why do you think I've been trying to get some magic this whole time?

"You may have to, Mal, because I think Whip is getting back up." Mizzy says.

"Huh?" I turn, but Whip is still down, and someone tackles me, pinning me to the ground from behind.

"GOD DAMN IT, MIZZY!!!" I shout, struggling, but to little avail.

"Oh, come on, Mal, you had to have had some suspicion." Mizzy says, squeezing me tightly, yet affectionately.

"This isn't funny! I could kill you with this stuff, and then your uncle will kill me!" I shout.

"I doubt it. If you want your freedom, then you have to do it again. otherwise..." Mizzy says, sqeezing me tighter against her chest, and I sigh.

"Fine, but you asked for this!" I shout. Then, with a mighty battle cry, I flip myself over, so that I'M on top of HER, and I break free of her grasp, pick her up, and toss her to the other side of the mat. Mizzy then gets up, and starts laughing.

"That was fun! Why don't you do that more often?" she asks, and I start to wonder myself.

"Well, because I don't want to. Using this stuff means I have to get close to my opponent, and that means I risk getting hurt, or worse." I say.

"I doubt that the ponies have any defense against that. I've never seen anything like that!" Mizzy says, and I actually believe her. These ponies may have magic, but they suck at using it offensively. Plus, it would be fun to beat some ponies up with their own dismembered limbs.

"Eh, fine, you're right. I don't see what's so fascinating about it, though." I say, and Mizzy laughs.

"Well, the same reason your face is so attractive to me: It's exotic. It's like nothing I've seen before! I just don't see why YOU don't like it." Mizzy says.

"I don't know, I just don't. But I guess I could stand to use it more, what with the princesses hunting me down and all." I say, remembering Luna's rather intimidating warning.

"Exactly!" Mizzy says, then looks over to Whip, who has finally woken up, and is stumbling towards us.

"I-is the fight over?" Whip tiredly asks, and I catch her before she face-plants.

"Ugh... Mizzy, could you kindly get her to a bed?" I ask, and Mizzy sighs, carrying the unconscious changeling off. I then sit down on the mats, completely exhausted from all the physical activity.

"I hate doing stuff..." I pant. I dare not rest, though, because I know Luna will find me, and mess my shit up. I can take her in real life, but dreams are something I have trouble with on a normal day, let alone when a vengeful goddess is trying to beat the tar out of me. Soon, though, Mizzy returns, and snaps me out of my stupor.

"Yo, Mal, you okay?" she asks, and I blink, not entirely sure. Nonetheless, I respond positively:

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say.

"You sure? You're acting worried." she says, and I sigh.

"It's nothing you haven't heard before. I'm stuck up here, and I could be wreaking havoc, but Luna has vowed to hunt me down and destroy me, so I can't sleep, and I can't leave." I say, and Mizzy doesn't seem surprised.

"I figured as much." She says.

"What? How?" I ask.

"You talk in your sleep, dude." She says, and I sigh. Of course it was that.

"Eh, not like that helps." I say despairingly, and Mizzy gets that look she gets when she has an idea, which scares me.

"You know what you need to do Mal?" She asks, and I respond .

"What?" I ask tiredly.

"You need to kick her butt! I say you go out into the open, get her out there, and mess her shit up!" Mizzy says, and I realize something: she's right!

"You're right, Mizzy. I can't hide in a cave forever! I'm going to go out there, and get martial on her ass!" I shout.

"That's the spirit, Mal! Plus, I need you out for the rest of the day, anyway; My uncle's lair is being invaded by planeswalkers again, and he and his friend Nefarox are having poker night over here." Mizzy says, and my mood is killed instantly.

"Oh." I say, but Mizzy kisses me, making me feel better.

"Hey, bring me her crown, will ya?" Mizzy asks.

"Yeah, okay." I say, and I set out to find and defeat Luna, so I can finally get a good night's sleep, and avoid Mizzy's terrifying uncle and his probably-just-as-bad friend, Nefarox.

So, I set out toward the smoldering ruins of Ponyville, where lord-knows-what awaits me. As soon as I reach it, I take a deep breath.

"God, I love the smell of burnt village in the morning... smells like victory." I say, wandering the town. There are no corpses, unfortunately, but a lot of houses were burned down, and I can feel the sadness and fear of those who fled this place. I wander a bit more as I wait for Luna, and it's soon midnight, and the air is becoming cold, but I don't mind. I love the starry sky at night, and looking at it fills me with peace, even... happiness. As I look to the sky, I see that it isn't too much different from the sky back home, but I begin to feel a bit sad nonetheless. Maybe I actually miss my world? Probably. Still, I don't want to go back. I hate it there, and I feel more at home here, where I can do what I want with absolute impunity. But I digress, Luna is likely searching for me, and I have a show to give her. Like I said, I am many things, few of them pleasant, but a coward is not one of them. However, hours pass, and Luna does not show up.

"Maybe she got scared and ran away..." I think aloud, chuckling at the idea.

"Or maybe she's right behind you." A familiar voice says, and I turn, to see Luna standing right behind me. Cursing my poor luck, I shift into an offensive stance.

"You certainly know how to pick an arena, Chris. I see you prefer to gain every advantage you can." Luna says, circling me.

"You should have just let me be, Luna. Now, I'm going to wreck you like I wrecked this town." I say, materializing fire in my hands.

"You can huff and puff all you want to, Chris, but you won't go through with it. Deep inside, you are just like us. However, that part of you is hurt and weak, but I can heal it. I can make you better, if you'll only let me." Luna says as she approaches me, but I do not drop my stance.

"There is nothing in me but darkness, Luna. You are a fool to think any different!" I say, but part of me quivers at her.

"No... You are wrong." Luna says, getting really close to me. I try to back away, but my back hits a support beam, and she is soon right in front of me.

"Stay back! I will destroy you!" I say, but Luna smiles at my attempt to scare her.

"Do it, then." She says, and when I don't, she puts her hands on my helmet, and tries to remove it. I however, pull my head back, denying her this.

"Don't touch me!" I sputter. I don't know how, but she's somehow keeping me from attacking her, or really doing anything. This was probably a mistake, now that I think about it.

"This is your last chance, Chris. Come, take my hand in friendship, and see reason. I see your true self, and it begs to be free! I am simply drawing it out, letting it breathe. Do not deny it, Chris, let it come out, and you will see that there is no reason for this." she says, and I really, really want to obey, but my willpower is stronger than that.

"No! The only reason you're doing this is because of the trouble I've caused! You'd never have even looked at me if I came here under your flag!" I say, and Luna seems saddened by my resistance.

"No, Chris, that is not true. I love all my subjects with equality..." she says, but I cut her off.

"And how much is that love? You politicians care only for yourselves, admit it! If a random citizen was to die, would you give your life to save them?" I ask viciously, and Luna seems surprised by this question, but does not answer.

"Chris, you cannot assume..." She tries to speak, but I do not let her finish.

"See? You can't answer that, and do you know why? Because power and rule are all that matter to you!" I say.

"Chris, that is not true." Luna says.

"Yes it is. You claim that your rule is divine and just, and that all citizens serve good by serving you. But in reality, you are no god, you are no ruler, you're not even a hero. You're just some little girl who grew up in charge of a world of lies created by a cruel, deceitful god." I say, and Luna seems shocked, almost to the point of tears.

"Chris... we had this discussion. You cannot sway me, for my resolve is certain! The only sad one here is you, yet you push away all attempts to help you! Why? Why do you revel in such cruelty?" Luna asks, and I grasp her shoulder, surprising her.

"You seem to have a problem with it. Perhaps you should look at what you have become, instead of me." I say as I release her.

"You are weak, Luna. You promised me a fight, and here we are, bickering like children. You will not get to me with talk, girl, and you have no hope of defeating me. So, leave me alone, and I might let you walk away with your life." I offer, and Luna clenches her fists, and a blade soon appears in them.

"You seek a fight, then? Then let us make a wager." She says.

"Go on..." I say, intrigued.

"I will fight you, if you so desire. But should I win, I will purge the sickness from your soul, and you will see that our way is better." Luna says.

"Interesting. Childish, but interesting. And what, pray tell, should happen if I win?" I ask.

"... Then, if you should best me, I would be at your mercy to do with as you please. I only offer myself, though, because I know that you cannot win." she says, and I laugh.

"So you say..." I retort, and Luna flourishes her sword, and points it at me.

"So, then, do we have a deal?" she asks, and I nod.

"Let us begin." I say, and Luna takes several steps back, then lunges at me, not uttering a word. I quickly dodge, not exactly expecting her to be so fast, but having no trouble, nonetheless. The night seems to make everything slow down, and I feel... odd, like I'm dancing or something. Call me gay or whatever, but there is something fucked up about this night, and I don't like it. Maybe it's this damned princess.

As I think about it, Luna comes around for another swipe at me, but I stomp the ground, causing an earthen spike to erupt from in front of me, in the path of the blade. It blocks Luna's sword, and I quickly step forward, grab her arms, and jump on my back, flipping and slamming her into the ground behind me. then, before she can get back up, I grab her legs, and throw her into the earth spike I made, causing it to explode, but Luna still falls to the ground, seriously hurt.

"Engh... How... did you..." She tries to ask, but I grab her by the neck, and pick her up. Then, I wordlessly punch her in the stomach, causing her to double over, and I roundhouse kick her to the side, and she hits the ground like a sack of rocks. As I approach her, she seems to be heartbroken by my display, and I sincerely want to stop, but something inside makes me go, and so I pick her up again, and pin her to a ruined wall. Then, I punch her in the gut, again, and again, and again, at least six times. When I finally stop, Luna coughs up some blood, and grips my head, putting it through a wall. However, I get out, and I grab her by the front of her dress, and lift her. Then, I throw her to the ground, pin her with my knees, and proceed to beat the ever-loving shit out of her with my armored fists. I wanted to stop, and tried to make myself stop, but my body did not respond, my adrenaline causing me to continue to beat Luna's face in, until she gripped my helmet weakly, and tried to pull it off. See, this is EXACTLY why I don't do MMA anymore.

Anyway, so, she tries to pull my helmet off, but I grip it, trying to keep it on. And so, having exhausted her final strength reserves, Luna passes out, the moonlight illuminating her bloodied, beaten face with a deathly pale glow. I get scared for a second, because I actually thought I had killed her, but I breathed a sigh of relief when I checked her pulse, and found that it was there. Weak, but there. Nonetheless, I had to finish it somehow. And yet, I couldn't bring myself to end her. I was weak, I knew it, and I'm frankly disgusted by my show of mercy. But she had challenged me without magic, though she could have easily vaporized me and been done with it. Yet she did not, and so I, Malideus, the most heartless, evil, cruelest being in this world, spare the life of Luna, the interloper. As I lament, Luna's eyes flutter open, and lock onto me, sadness obvious in them. Then, she coughs up some blood and a tooth, and addresses me:

"I... I failed..." She says simply, and I nod. Then, she sheds a single tear, and speaks again:

"Chris... J-just end it... just kill me now... don't let me exist in such shame..." She says, but I do not.

"Luna, that is the single most selfish thing I've ever heard. I'm not going to kill you, but you will suffer this shame, knowing you were bested by me, Chri-er, Malideus." I say, correcting my blunder. Luna's face turns to one of horror then, and I walk away from her, actually feeling bad about this. However, before I can leave, Luna gets up, and grabs my arm, stopping me.

"I won't let you just walk away, Chris. Finish this, or I will!" she says.

"You want a finisher, Luna? Then so be it!" I say, raising my right hand from her grasp. Already, everything is moving in slow motion as I raise my hand, extend my pinkie, causing my pimp-hand to charge with righteous anger and face-lust, and I sweep the hand into Luna's face, sending her flying away from me, tears and blood mixing as they fly from her face in the most over-dramatic display imaginable. Soon, Luna hits the ground, knocked unconscious by the impact, and I turn and walk away, unable to stand this sight anymore. I have spared Luna, but not out of the goodness of my heart; If experience has taught me anything, it's that my pimp hand somehow brings out the depravity in others, and I will now rest easy knowing that she will no longer be a pawn for the enemy, but for me. With that in mind, I wordlessly walk out of the ruined village, through the dense forest, and to Mizzy's cave, where I wait at the mouth, looking up at the night sky. As I look at it, I no longer feel at peace. The night is uneasy, and I know exactly why. Then, at the mouth of the cave, I sleep, and no dreams come as I rest.

As I awake, the sun is already halfway overhead. As I get up, Mizzy walks outside, and sees me.

"Mal! I was about to look for you!" She says.

"No need, I did it, I beat Luna. Now, maybe I can get a decent night's sleep." I say, getting up and walking into the cave. As I do, I see the whole place is a mess; slashes in the stone, scorch marks everywhere, and pools of cooled lava litter the ground. I don't even know what to ask before Mizzy sees my face and answers it:

"Yeah, the two had a falling out, as you can see. At least I saved the loot." Mizzy says, pointing to the gigantic pile of stuff in the corner.

"What were they fighting about?" I ask.

"I have no idea. So, how did it go with Luna?" Mizzy asks, and I almost don't want to answer.

"Eh, I showed her who the boss was. No biggie." I say, and Mizzy slaps my back.

"Well, I'm glad you can finally get some sleep. I kinda missed you last night." Mizzy says, winking. I then blush. Then, Mizzy says something unexpected:

"Oh, Mal, I happened to show uncle Bolas the gem from the Alicorn amulet, and he said to give you this!" she says, handing me the last thing I expected, but totally loved:

Now, in my hands, was a golden staff, two axe-like blades at the tip, and, between them, the gem from the Alicorn amulet.

"Well? What do you think?" Mizzy asks.

"... I wonder when Celestia will decide to come after me..." I say simply, imagining all the fun times I was going to have with this staff; The staff of Malideus.

Oh, yes... fun times indeed...