William spent a long, long time simply sitting in his room and staring at the wall.

Monster.

“Come on, Will. Let me in.”

He remained seated on the bed, hands clasped limply in his lap as his eyes burned a hole in the wall.

“I know you can hear me,” Rainbow Dash said softly, but loudly enough to make her voice heard through the door. “Come on, Squirt. Please.”

William heard Pinkie Pie muttering, and a moment later the latch to the door sprang open and it slowly swung inward.

William didn’t even blink.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. In a little bit, Pinks.” Rainbow Dash cleared her throat, and William vaguely noticed the door snapping quietly shut and leaving him and the pegasus alone. It was silent for what felt like forever, and William could hear his own heartbeat in his ears.

Eventually, Rainbow Dash slid a hoof over his shoulder, pulling him into a little hug as she sat beside him on the bed.

“… It wasn’t your fault, Squirt.”

William said nothing, only staring blankly at the wall before him.

“I know it wasn’t,” she continued as if he were paying even the slightest bit of attention. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I killed someone,” William finally croaked, his voice dry and strained. He felt as if he were going to be sick again. “I – I’m a murderer.”

“He-he had it coming,” Dash bitterly hugged him again, and rubbed the back of his head tenderly, swirling her hoof absentmindedly. “You were just –”

“I didn’t meant to-,” he choked. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that he – I didn’t mean to. Not-not when I did it. I didn’t mean to. I understand if you want to disown me. I’m sorry.”

Rainbow Dash fell silent for a moment, and William had to fight to keep his shoulders from heaving.

“Pssst.”

Dash rubbed her eyes, flicking her attention to the door where Pinkie stuck her nose in.

“Dashie,” Pinkie Pie whispered. “I know you really wanted to tackle this one on your own, but – tag team?” she held out a hoof expectantly.

Rainbow Dash breathed heavily through her nostrils, simply nodding Pinkie Pie in. The mare bounced excitedly, before immediately remembering the situation and sobering up within an instant. She sidled in beside William, seating herself so that he was between the two of them.

“So…” Pinkie Pie rolled her hooves together awkwardly. “At least it was claimed as an accident.”

William only clasped his face in his hands, unable to look at either of them for the shame and horror.

“Not helping,” Rainbow Dash hissed over William at her, and Pinkie cringed.

“S-sorry,” Pinkie’s mane began to droop again, and she laid a single hoof on William’s arm. “I just want to help. I – well, I…”

She began stuttering suddenly, unable to form words properly for her own discomfort.

“… I think he needs to know,” Pinkie Pie said quietly, all emotion leaving her face.

“Pinkie,” Dash muttered dangerously. “I thought we agreed on this. Not in front of William.”

“I know,” she shook her head, mane flopping back and forth with her. “I know, Dashie. But I still think – oh, jeez. Now I’ve gone and lost my nerve.” Pinkie Pie pulled away slowly, gripping her own forehooves.

“… I’m sorry, Pinkie,” Dash cleared her throat again forcefully. “Maybe – maybe you’re right.”

Pinkie Pie took a deep, shuddering breath and said “Will, I killed your dad.”

William fell off of the bed.

Rainbow Dash winced, struggling to help the speechless boy up.

“Suave, Pinkie,” she huffed. “Great way to break it.”

“I’m sorry,” Pinkie hanged her head. All the color seemed to have drained from her face, leaving it a slightly pink and chalky pallor. “I don’t wanna be blunt, but – well…”

“It’s fine, Pinks,” Dash shook her head quickly. “It’s-”

“You killed him.”

"My... biological father."

It was the first time William had even spoken of him in a long while, and Dash clamped her jaw shut immediately. She didn’t look nearly as sick as Pinkie did, though.

“… Yeah,” the mare nodded softly. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“Because… he hurt Mother.”

“Yeah,” Pinkie Pie flinched again. “I-I did.”

William stared at her long and hard, and Pinkie only look forlornly back.

He didn’t really have anything to say to something like that. After all, what was he supposed to say upon discovering that the mare living with them had murdered someone?

… Just like he had?

“It’s not right,” Pinkie Pie spoke nearly noiselessly, her throat raw. “It’s not right, it isn’t okay. But it doesn’t change just how sorry I am, how-how long it’s torn at me that-that I took the life of your dad. Will –”

“Discord is my father,” he stated slowly, but assuredly. “He adopted me, just as Mother did. I don’t know who you may have harmed, but it wasn’t my father.”

A slow, subtle change seemed to undergo inside Pinkie Pie in that moment. William watched as her face twitched and contorted over the span of a few seconds, like she was trying to fight back a flood. Eventually, Pinkie released a jittering, shaking sigh and closed her eyes, and rested her head on his shoulder.

“… We are such a bucked up family.”

Rainbow Dash snorted quietly, pulling them both close to herself with one wing.

“Yeah,” Dash breathed at last. “Yeah, we’re a big bag of mixed nuts. One little, crazy, bucked up family. But still family. And that-that’s what counts, right?”

“… Even Pinkie Pie?” William asked, shifting his leg cast uncomfortably.

“Ooh, crap,” Pinkie shrank back. “Right, I kind of… well, almost, uh… forgot about-about that.”

“About what?” William stared at her uneasily, wary for any more news that could potentially alter his viewpoint of someone.

“WELL,” Dash said loudly, shifting her wing around the two of them. She took a long time clearing her throat, her cheeks tinged. “Well, um… Will, you know how Pinkie has been staying-”

“That’s what that noise was!” William’s eyes widened promptly. Rainbow Dash flushed brighter and redder than a glowing tomato, and he glared angrily at her. “You told me it was mice!”

“Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more awkward,” Pinkie mumbled, her head in one hoof. “No, Pinkie Pie, it’s fine. He’s totally asleep. Thbbbt. Guess it’s a little easier to comprehend now, in comparison to… you know.”

“Oh, Celestia,” the pegasus moaned, nearly collapsing in on herself. “Will – geez. Don’t look at me like that, Squirt. Pinkie Pie and I are-”

“What about Discord?” he blanched, his gaze piercing her. “I thought that Father-”

Rainbow Dash only shook her head slowly, and William fell silent.

“He isn’t coming back, William,” Dash informed him gently. “I knew beforehoof. I mean, I hoped, but…” she left it hanging, and cast her looks to the floor.

Pinkie Pie squeezed her hoof gently, forcing a little smile.

For a moment, William considered telling her of the draconequus’s appearance – however, he also took into consideration Discord’s request to keep it secret.

“About-about F- Discord,” William started slowly.

“Yeah?” Dash looked at him quickly, and William blinked.

“… Nothing,” he shook his head. “Nothing at all.”

A wheelchair was a useful device.

That being said, William still loathed it with a deep intensity. He was constantly accidentally nicking his fingers in the spokes, but he didn’t care about it any longer. He only spent a long while sitting out by Ponyville’s only lake. William watched the water rise and fall in little waves, the wind rippling peacefully across the surface. The sun was out, the birds were chirping happily, ponies were going about their lives and enjoying themselves. It was such an unfairly bright, cheery morning.

William hated that, too.

If anything, it was a formless, empty and purposeless hate; a growing sense of self-loathing that he threw out in every direction, only for it to be reeled back in with a bitter emptiness. It only led to him feeling utterly helpless and defenseless against the emotions roiling against his sense of logic, drawing him back into an endless circle.

Perhaps William would have noticed the draconequus sitting beside him, had he not been too busy twirling thoughtless circles on his cast with one finger.

William nearly leapt out of his skin when he finally realized that he was not alone, and he stared at the grinning Discord.

“Er… lovely… weather we’re having?” William blurted, uncertain of what to say.

“Been a little busy since I’ve been gone, eh?” Discord gave the boy a toothy grin, reclining on the wooden park bench beside him. A whirling sprout of leafy greens grew through his talons, winding around his claws. “Heard through the grapevine that you broke something.”

William’s face paled, and he looked away.

“I killed someone.”

Discord’s gaze didn’t drop, and William suddenly became much more interested in the lake. When he finally gained the courage to cast a glance over, William spotted the vines in Discord’s paw and noted that they had all been choked and strangled until they were charred and black.

“… Is that so.”

“I was protecting Mother,” William answered quietly, still unable to look him in the eyes. “She was sexually assaulted by a man of medicine. I took care of it. And I found out that Miss Pie murdered my biological father, and she is also ‘Mother Two’.” He finally looked up at Discord, clasping his hands together pleadingly. “It has been… hectic, to say the least.”

“… Say, what was the name of that doctor?”

“Doctor Egg White?”

“Of course it was.” Discord nodded thoughtfully.

“Why do you ask?” William peered at him.

“Oh, no reason," he lied, thoughts that would horrify any mortal to perceive them already twisting through his mind.

“… Please come back for good soon. Everyone has gone completely and utterly mad.”

Still, Discord said nothing for the longest time. When he finally spoke, it was with a tired, weary voice.

“You know,” he grinned weakly. “Normally, I’m all for a bit of chaos. But I can’t come back to stay just yet, Willy-dilly-o.”

“Why not?” William asked, looking heartbroken. Discord only shook his head.

“I’ve been… busy.”

“With what?”

“Rebuilding.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be a god?” William barked at him angrily. “You’re the embodiment of chaos, mayhem incarnate! You can do anything!”

Discord smiled sadly, and patted the boy on the head. He then flicked him hard on the nose, making him yelp.

“Right, ‘kay. First of all, don’t shout at your parents. It’s rude,” Discord scolded him halfheartedly. “Secondly, there are some things that I just can’t do. Sure, when I flex my godly muscles-” he pumped his mismatched arms, and a flock of doves flew out of his armpits. “- I can make some pretty awesome things happen. But do you know just what happens when one god goes up against another?”

William gawked at him, his mind blurring.

“Like I said,” Discord shook his head again sadly. “I’ve been busy. All you need to know is that it’s not even (mostly) for my own good. I should be getting showered with praise, pay, and poontang right now.”

“What’s a poontang?”

“Something that you are to never, ever repeat in front of your mother,” Discord’s eyes flicked back and forth nervously.

“Which one?”

Discord started to speak, but slowly closed his jaws. He breathed heavily through his nose, and held his temples loosely with his fingertips.

“… Damn, I keep forgetting that you’re a little smartass,” Discord crossed his arms huffily, but did give a little grin. “I promise I won’t be forever. I’ve just got to… take care of a few things first.”

“And then you’ll come home?” William asked hopefully, fiddling his fingers back and forth.

“Of course,” Discord lied again. “Just as soon as I can.”

“Then what about Mother?”

Discord huffed again, frowning at the lake. A few dozen fish slowly floated up and began flapping through the air, chasing away a couple of very shocked fishing ponies.

“Forever is a long, long time, kiddo,” he explained slowly, scratching his chin. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“Father,” William grabbed him loosely by one shoulder, forcing the draconequus to look evenly at him. “Kindly do not speak to me in such a condescending tone. I refuse to be treated as a foa- as a child.”

Discord seemed mildly amused by his words, and pulled him away.

“… You know, you’re right,” he agreed overenthusiastically. “Absolutely right, Billy.”

“My name is William.”

“You are old enough,” Discord scoffed. “I mean, of course you are. Anybody old enough to wantonly murder someone shouldn’t be treated like a child.”

William didn’t seem to have any kind of reply ready for that. He only looked away as the shame of his actions began to overtake him again, and Discord gained a strange look in his misshapen eyes.

“So,” Discord tapped his talons together conspiratorially. “So, I think you’re old enough for me to let you in on a little secret. C’mere.”

William, growing more nervous and uneasy by the moment, leaned as far toward the beckoning draconequus as he could without falling out of his wheelchair. Discord looked around animatedly, and cupped one paw over William’s ear and whispered.

“The road to forgiveness is a rocky one. Wheelchairs aren’t very good for that kind of terrain.”

William blinked, and started to ask him what he meant – however, the moment he turned to look at him, Discord was already long gone.

William was left feeling rather befuddled, miserable, and even lonelier than before. He stared out over the lake as fish fell through the air, splattering loudly against the water. After what felt like hours had gone by, William groggily dragged himself away. He gradually sighed, and started up to head home.

It was then that William realized that he was standing, and his cast was gone.

And he wasn’t certain whether to sit back down, or laugh hysterically.

As such, William ended up doing both.

He could have sworn that he was only determined to go home, but something about Discord’s parting words stuck with William. He looked back at the wheelchair one last time before giving it a hearty kick, watching it spiral down and tumble straight into the lake, where it promptly began to sink.

Of course, William did not go home.

Instead, he began running as fast as he could further down the rocky road, toward what was possibly one of the last places he ever would have expected himself to return to otherwise.

And although William didn't know it, Discord couldn't keep himself from shedding a few tears. Not just because he had failed in so many aspects that he was forced to sacrifice in order to salvage another.

No, Discord simply despised watching something that he was helpless to prevent, incapable of healing when he actually wanted to. It tore at Discord in his deepest recesses, the realization itself only piercing him more painfully.

William may have still been young, but his innocence had died a long, long time ago.

“You’ve gotta be frickin’ kidding me,” Scootaloo stared at the boy in dull surprise, looking back and forth between his obviously unbroken leg and the miserable filly.

“I’m with Scoots on this one,” Apple Bloom frowned. “Will, are you bonkers?”

Sweetie Belle only watched them all silently, hoof over her mouth in contemplation.

“Everybody deserves at least one chance to be forgiven… right?” William cast his arm toward Diamond Tiara, who only shuffled her hooves anxiously beside him as they stood before the entrance to the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ clubhouse.

“Since when are you suddenly so geranium?”

“Genial,” Sweetie corrected the pegasus quietly.

“You know what I meant,” Scootaloo flared her wings angrily, turning and giving a hard glare to Diamond Tiara. “Will, this is nuts. Diamond Tiara’s a-a big dumb bully.”

“And,” William nodded, making the awkward filly turn an abashed shade of pink. “And, she is also very sorry for her actions.”

“I call horse feathers,” Apple Bloom stood her ground. “She’s a no good, dirty, stinkin’, lyin’, lousy piece of s-”

“I’m sorry.”

For all of her disbelief, Apple Bloom certainly never expected to hear those words from Diamond Tiara’s mouth. And from Scootaloo’s open mouthed stare, she didn’t either.

“I’m sorry,” Diamond Tiara finally broke down, crying quietly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was so mean, I’m sorry that I h-hit you. I’m-I’m sorry. I don’t…” she dwindled down, until she was barely mumbling miserably. William tried to subtly nudge her with his elbow, and she continued. “I don’t have any other friends.”

Scootaloo didn’t drop her gaze for a long moment, but eventually turned back to the boy.

“… What’s gotten into you lately?” she pried, and William began fiddling with his fingers uneasily. “I mean, I guess that I can – c’mon, Diamond Tiara, quit doing that. You’re starting to make me feel bad,” Scootaloo passed the silently crying filly a napkin that looked as if it had been lying on the floor, but she took it nonetheless. “I guess I can forgive Diamond Tiara. Even though I probably shouldn’t, but I would. I just can’t wrap my head around how come you’re so quick to do it.”

William cleared his throat uncomfortably, and quickly said “I’m just a very forgiving person, is all.”

“Weren’t you talking about clubbing her over the h-”

“We should make her a Crusader!” William spouted rapidly, flushing at her words.

“You’re joking,” Sweetie Belle snorted, but William remained adamant.

“Nuh-uh!” Scootaloo stamped her hoof, incapable of processing such a thought. “No way, no how! Diamond Tiara already has a Cutie Mark!”

“We stick together, no matter what.”

The pegasus stared at the boy, and although there was a fierceness in his eyes, they failed to hold the same slightly ‘off’ look that they had before. He just looked… sad.

“Isn’t that what you told me?” William stuck his hands in his pockets. “Cutie Mark Crusaders, stick together no matter what. To find out who we are, what we’re supposed to be. The whole purpose of the CMC.”

“… Yeah,” Scootaloo nodded quietly, looking back and forth between him and the miserably sniffling filly. “You got it.”

“And, obviously,” William pushed on hopefully. “Obviously, Diamond Tiara is just… she’s just a little lost. Sure, she’s a hopelessly antagonistic, arrogant, pompous, violent-”

Diamond Tiara cringed and sank a little lower with William’s every word, who remained utterly oblivious to her suffering.

“- inane, self-centered, rude, spoiled little brat,” he agreed. “But…”

He trailed off, holding his palm over his chin.

“… Sound kinda like you forgot where you were goin’ with that,” Apple Bloom snickered.

“But,” William added cautiously. “But, Miss Tiara here has promised to alter her behavior for the sake of friends.”

“We are not her friends,” Scootaloo denied vehemently, shooting the filly a dirty look. “Anypony that would hurt somepony in a hospital is no friend of mine.”

William looked as if he were on the verge of passing out.

“I’ll vouch for her.” William stated quietly.

Diamond Tiara gaped at the boy, both uncertain and wary. He held up the small cape bearing their symbol, pulling it slowly from his pocket. He twirled it gradually in his fingers, running his hand over it softly.

“… Please.”

Scootaloo remained unblinkingly still for an unnervingly long stretch of time before slamming the clubhouse door shut in his face. William could hear the sound of hushed chattering going on for a few seconds, before the door was quickly jerked back open.

“Diamond Tiara, welcome to the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Sweetie Belle smiled.

“It’s a bad idea, it’s going to lead to lots of fights, and I hate your guts,” Scootaloo interjected. Diamond Tiara only hanged her head.

“… But,” Scootaloo continued, taking the cape from William’s outstretched hands and tying it loosely around the stunned filly’s neck. “But what kind of pony wouldn’t give anypony a second chance? I think I can forgive her, in the future.”

“Actually-” Apple Bloom started, but Sweetie violently shook her head, and she made a zipping motion over her lips.

“Right, then,” William nodded enthusiastically, clapping the surprised Diamond Tiara on the back. “Here’s to hoping this doesn’t all spiral downwards into a fiery chasm of despair.”

“Wonderful,” Diamond Tiara moaned. “Now I’m lumped in with the group of ugly ones.”

Scootaloo was silent for a full beat before slapping her upside the head with a loud clop.

“Okay. Now I can forgive her.”

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

Day 30 –

Never before in my life have I so desperately and vainly prayed.

I have never been one to personally seek penance, but perhaps this was because I had no real reason to. It would appear that I was initially correct, or so it would seem. These creatures – no, these people have changed me, and in the strangest of ways.

I envy my past self for my simple transgressions. I would give anything to change the past; although for what I’ve done, or what I am bound to become I am not entirely certain.

One thing, however, is certain.

For every action, there is a consequence. For every crime, there must be a punishment. For every sin, there must be retribution. I fear this. I dread it, it terrifies and shakes me to my very core, but it is unchangeable.

All I can do now is accept my actions for what they are – sins, crimes of unspeakable nature. It sickens me, as if I still bore blood on my hands.

Blood that was tainted, to be sure; but this is no absolution, in no way acceptable for what I’ve done. He didn’t even get a second chance.

I think that I understand Miss Pie a little better, now. I understand why she does what she does from time to time, why she is so desperate to wash her hooves; it is as metaphorical as it is a physical drive, a need to cleanse oneself of previous misgivings.

All I want is for the family that I finally have to be safe, and happy.

And if this means that I need a thousand, thousand buckets of suds to scrub the blood from my hands in order to do it, then I should best begin collecting water.

Author's Notes:

Now, on to the sequel.