The monk

by Sir Hat

Chapter 1: Crash

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I felt her stir in my arm, "Ah good, I was starting to think that concussion had done some real damage." I let my hand curl up and grace her ear, it flinched at my touch.

"Who the hay are you!?" She yelled, immediately trying to wriggle free, "Le- go!" I tightened my grip ever so lightly.

"Easy...you took quite the spill, smacked into a mountain if you wish me to be precise." Her eyes shot wide, "Ah you do remember. You really should watch where you are going, hitting mountains face first cant be healthy." She did not as I would have expected cease her thrashing. She instead took to it quite vehemently until I let her go. She had a solitary moment of flight before her wing locked to her side and sent her tumbling to the ground, "Oh dear...that looked like it hurt."

"You!" She charged over to me, sticking a hoof in my face, "You did this!"

"I did nothing of the sort!" I held my ground against the steaming mare, "From what I saw you were distracted and smacked yourself into a cliff face, and I am hardly to blame for your own inattentiveness!"

"You were fighting something in the woods, I was gonna go help when the mountain came out of nowhere!"

I looked back at the spot she landed, "How does a mountain come out of nowhere? Surely a stationary pile of rock has the right of way." I deadpanned.

"Well...I...who the hay are you to pick me up anyways!? I've heard about you humans! You like touching ponies in weird places...."

"What!?" I was so flabbergasted I took a step back, "How presumptuous!" I walked sternly to her and waggled my finger at her, "Why on earth would I want to 'touch' you!? Have I made any inclination as to such intent?"

"Well...no, and speak Equestrian-"

I cut her off "Then why is it that you dare accuse me of malicious intent!? The gall; the absolute gall of you!" I took a step back and simmered down, "You were hurt and I could not in good conscious leave someone unable to care for themselves at the mercy of the forest!"


"I mean by the time I reached you something was already coming for you, something wooden." Her eyes went to pinpricks as her mouth fell open.

"Timber wolves." She whispered out as if unsure.

"I keep you from harm and you dare call me impure in my actions! Bah! Bah I say!"

"Hey I didn't mean-"

"No! Do not speak to me." I started back down the path, "The nerve of some people...equines."

I could hear the sound of beating hooves behind me and within moments the mare was flanking me once again, "Hey look...sorry...I just-"

"You talked without thinking, accused an innocent man of ill intent, and threw his kindness to the wind in one foul swoop."

"Yeah...that...I just...you dress all weird and I though-"

I stopped and turned to her, "Look...I tried to help you, but you refused, now leave me in peace." I stomped back down the path. She quickly ran in front of me, blocking my path.

"Hey at least tell me you accept my apology! Geez!"

"Why would I!? What about your actions is apologetic?"

Her face got slowly redder as the anger compacted, her wings shot open with a snap. She was strait faced for two seconds before collapsing on the ground and holding her injured wing, "Owwie owwie owwie!" I rolled my eyes and wandered over to her.

"Oh dear me." I wiped my face, "You really are rather clumsy," I scooped her back up, cradling her in my arms. I made sure her wing wasn't pinched or pinned as I walked, "Clumsy in speech just as in motion." I chuckled to myself, "An absolute comedy of errors."

I hurried my pace along the dirt path. Birds singing, leaves rustling, nature was at peace around us.

The mare had taken to pouting and complain about her wing. Apparently the fall was more damaging than the actual impact with the mountain, something I attributed to her thick skull, "Don'needyourhelp..." She grumbled out as she puffed out her cheeks and scrunched her muzzle.

"Yes my dear, you apparently do." I laughed at the sheer stubbornness this mare had, quite admirable if not so debilitating.

"You laughing at me!?" She craned her head up to try and peek under my hood at my face, "You're not funny you know! And where are you even taking me?" She looked around the trees, "Wait...Winsome Falls?"

"What a silly name...but yes, I come to the falls every month or so, I find it relaxing. Also the water is rather warm in the summer." I hurried my pace, the prospect of a warm bath garnering my attention, "Hmm perhaps the water will help mend your wing, you do live in a land steeped in magic..."

She looked at me like I was crazy, "Winsome Falls isn't magic...and how would you know! You're a human...you don't even have magic." I nodded jovially.

"True, and your magic seems to be more of an impairment than a gift." I nipped the tip of her injured wing with my fingers. The noise she made was somewhere in between a gasp and a shriek. She shot me a rather angry look, once more trying to peer under my hood.

"Why are you wearing that..." She asked, poking at the edge of my hood.

"To keep the sun off of me." She wasn't buying it, "...because I have something to hide."

"See!" She poised herself to wriggle free, "You humans are weirdos!"

"Fine, entertaining the idea that I was going to do something bad to you; what would I gain?"

"...Uh..." She grew a bright red blush, "...stif- I mean stuff!"

"You cannot even say it, how will you accuse me of it?" I hurried my pace once again, "My dear you were free to leave yet you persisted, injuring yourself even further." I grew a wicked smile, "At this point I could suspect you of having some lascivious reasons." pulled off flawlessly.

She looked genuinely confused. "I...huh?"

I gave a slow groan, "Is culture so dead in this land? Hmm...how to put this without being vulgar: what I'm implying is that you would be guilty of the very thing you accuse me of," She still looked confused, "...in reference to-" I moved my thumb and gave the base of her tail a quick poke, "If you understand my meaning."

Her blush only grew brighter, "Whoa whoa whoa whoa! I don't- with you- no no no no-"

"In that matter we can agree then." I shifted my grip, "No offense meant, but your people are too similar to horses for my tastes."

"I could never- wait what? You calling me a horse?" Once more she tried to peer angrily under my hood.

Getting fed up with this little game I pause in my walk, tearing my hood back, "No my dear, simply put there is a resemblance." I glanced down at her, she was transfixed on my face. Doubtlessly enthralled by my majestic beard, "It is rude to stare-"

"You're really bushy." She batted my beard.

I stopped mid word, giving a short sigh, "So I have been told."

"I thought you humans didn't have fur."

"It's not fur...it's hair,"

"Looks like fur,"

"It's not."

"Is to,"

"It is not!"

"Is to!"

"It's a beard! Beards are not fur!" She grew a scowl on her face before reaching up and taking hold of my beard in her mouth, "Ach- what are you-" She quickly pulled her head down yanking once on my beard before letting go.

"That was for my wing." She crossed her forelegs and settled back against my arm. It was admittedly adorable but it did little to calm my temper.

We didn't talk again until we reached the falls. I quickly set her down and quickly disrobed, "Hey hey hey whoa! I thought you said you weren't a weirdo!"

I finished pulling my robe off. I gave her an annoyed look, my entire lower body was still covered by a pair of slacks.

She glanced back at me before refusing to make eye contact, "Oh...alright."

I walked up to her and grabbed her, locking her against my chest, "Now for you pretense and uncivil behavior I expect you to do exactly as I say." I started walking us into the pool. The falls seemed to have been stopped up by debris.

"Pfff- that chan-"

"Anything I say." I quickly found my usual spot, a stone jutted up from a large pool, once could sit submerged up to their arms. I quickly lowered myself into the water, crossing my legs and keeping the rainbow maned girl just inches from the water. Her legs curling up away from the pool, "For once, trust me." I let her drop into the pool.

"Augfh- pfff- what the big-" I quickly flipped her onto her back, floating on the water.her eyes shot around wildly, "I don't like this!"

"I thought I told you to trust me." I quickly had her floating in front of me. The only part of her not submerged being her head. But her apprehension meant she wasn't very buoyant. I took to holding up the back of her head and the middle of her hind legs. I let the mare hang lazily just under the water. Slowly I closed my eyes and before I opened them again the falls had uncorked itself and was cascading behind me.

The mare's eyes shot wide from the spectacle, "Whoa."

I peered behind me with a smirk, "Whoa indeed."

A thin mist started rushing around us. The sound of the falls was a joy, a constant low rush followed by a loud pouring sound. I let my hands open and close lightly, letting my nails just scratch the surface of her fur. She was all but purring as I manipulated her posture and movement in the warm water.

We stayed silent for a while, letting the water swirl around us. But as time passed things were beginning to grow dark.

I pulled the mare out of the water by hooking my hands under her forelegs and held her just out of the water. I moved my fingers around and ran them across the joining of her wings. Her face grew the slightest pink as her wings shot open, "Better?"

I set her down on the rock next to me and faced her away. I ran my fingers up and down the base of her wings, causing them to flap involuntarily, "Oohhh yeahhhh~" This must have been a similar reaction to a dogs leg.

"And you doubted the water." I laughed as I brought her wings back to her side, "Now I think it's time you take your leave, it's getting dark and you should head home and rest."

She looked at the falling sun, "Sure..." She stayed planted next to me, I could feel a smile grow on my face, "...just..." In a flash she turned, wrapped her forelegs around my neck and brought me into a nuzzling hug. Just as quickly as it happened she broke off and hoovered a few feet off the ground, "Sorry, I was mean. You're actually pretty nice," She looked up to the sun, "Anyways see ya." She took off into the sky, "You should visit Ponyville someday!" She bolted off.

"Adieu," I waved goodbye, the water still rushing behind me, "Perhaps we'll meet again, and perhaps you'll learn some manners by then!" I laughed as the rainbow streak left me alone again. Left me to enjoy the rest of my stay in this tranquil pond. Today...today had been a good day.

Author's Notes:

Hey if you like this check out Ivory...please?
Also....this was kinda made due to the large amount of clopfics involving RD, a little self satire never hurt anyone.

Next Chapter: Investigations Estimated time remaining: 26 Minutes
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