"Tomas..."

"Hello?"

"This is strange....who is this?"

"Luna? I can hear ya...wher-"

"OI THERE BARBRA!"

I felt an extremely hard impact on the side of my head, so hard the I fell out of bed "-EUghrkgg"

"Get up Nancy, time to wakey wakey," I quickly rolled onto my back and found Andrew standing over me, "Ah good....now lets get going, I need to find some birds and drugs," He started walking out, "I bet these horsey fuckers got some crazy shit,"

"Jesus Christ...." I slowly untangled myself from the pile of sheets, "Fuckin Andrew....bastard..." I felt like my head was going to split along the point he hit me, "Fucking hell.....bloody...fuckin....aurgh....." I grabbed some clothes and wandered bleary eyed into the bathroom. There was a note on the door, Rented hotel, call me when he's gone -Kim. Lucky bitch....

"Ah...so much bet-" I wandered out into my living room, "Oh my god...Andrew what the fuckrya doin!?" He turned around and waved from outside my window, "Jesus!" I pushed out my front door, "Why'rya pissing in the garden!?" He turned around still pissing.

"What? You'r in tha bathroom, I figured I'd respect your privacy,"

"By pissing in Public!"

"Oh you missed me waving ta yer neighbors,"

"Waving...AH CHRIST!" He cracked a wide smile, "Jesus..."

He zipped up, "What...your neighbors not used to seein cock?"

"No!" I leaned back on my doorframe, "Jesus..."

"You're surrounded by birds ya daft bastard, 'n they don't wear clothes, oi look that one looks fancy," He walked over and put his hand on my shoulder and waved down the passing mare, "Oi miss," The mare stopped and faced us, "Check this out," He reached down and stuck his thumb in my belt and yanked it down, "WHOOOOOOOOOOOooooo little Tommy ain't so small!" He put me in a headlock and kicked my knees down, "Come on baaabaay get some!" The mare got a quick blush before bolting off.

"Andrew- what- the fuck!" I struggled to both reach down and grab my belt and get away from him, "This ain't funny man!" I managed to slam him into the door frame and pull my pants back up, "Da fuck is wrong with ya, ya dammed psycho!?" I stepped off the porch and looked back, Andrew was laughing his ass off, "How did they let you out!?"

"Ahah...phew....Christ.....I only got caught with eight ounces, like a month in a min security in Hessen,"

"Jesus....how the hell did ya-" He covered my mouth.

"Shut up....time for breakfast, then I heard yer see'in a bird, we gonna go see 'er," He cracked a wicked smile before walking off down the road, "Hurry up Tom Tom, I'm bloody starvin over here,"

I just wiped my face, "Christ...." I went back inside grabbing my wallet and keys, "Bloody lunatic...."

"This tastes like ass..." He said throwing the eggs back onto the plate, "I'll tell ya what I want ta eat," He looked back at the waitress.

"Andrew don't....seriously they aren't that lenient about that shit here," He settled back in his seat, "Thank you..."

"Yer damn right thank me....anyways who's this lady of yours?"

"....no...we ain't doing that,"

"The fuck we aren't," he slammed the table, "We're visiting your lady and asking her for a threesome...." He stood from the table, "Now lets go,"

"Christ....Andrew I can take ya there but you ain't gonna meet her....as in even If I wanted you to, you couldn't," I stood and cleaned off the table.

"You're gonna stop me?"

"No....about thirty guards will," We met the street and started towards the castle.

"Ohhhh....you're bang'in a noble.....good on ya lad!"

".....Jesus,"

"Yes my child?" He said with a pious tone.

"Knock it off....what would mom say?"

"Oi Andrew stop trying to shag the cat,"

".....what would dad say!?" I said trying to focus on his more influential parent.

"Good...now be sure to slap her ass too," He said mock spanking the air.

".....lets just get there," We walked on, Andrew only making noise when mares passed. Usually along the lines of oooh baby or turn around.

"Oi ain't this bloody fancy.." Andrew said looking around the entrance to the yard, "....we got company,"

"Oi you!" The trio of celts walked across the yard again. The scoucer walked up to us, "Ya see this," He pointed to the bandage on his nose, "Three weeks..."

Andrew leaned in and grabbed the scouser by the jaw, "Ya did that Tomas? Damn....that's some fucking A grade face fuckin," The scouser Jerked his head away and the other two closed in on him.

"Who the hell'r ya!?" The Welshmen started fronting on Andrew, "This yer boyfriend?"

Andrew just looked at me, "Tomas...this Welshmen just asked me if we're dating....is this for real?"

"Yer damn right its-" Andrew headbutted the Welshmen to the ground and straddled his chest.

"WHOoo! Gonna fuck me a Welshmen!" He started beating him across the face with the other two looking on in horror, "Oi come on then, Gwynedd prick! Get the hell up!" He slammed his head into the ground and stood above him, "Oi scouse, com'ere!" The scouser started running off with Andrew quickly catching up with him, "Oi come on, gonna make a lady outta you!"

"Andrew don't!" I started running off after them, "Andrew STOP!" I managed to grab his shirt and trip him, the both of us tumbling to the ground, "Andrew let em go!" I put him in a headlock and planted my knee on his back.

"Come on! -Ach- oi ease up! I'll play nice!" He started struggling.

"No you wont! Fuckin liar!" I pulled us upright and started walking us back to the entrance of the HQ.

"Aw dammit! Ya let him get away!" I threw him into the HQ, "Phew.....felt good to turn that Welsh asshole into pulp though..."

"Mr. Eldridge you're late again," Shining armor walked calmly over to us, "....who is this, and why is he bloody,"

"Sorry I-"

"Just got back from a bit of a strange time, just fisted a virgin and things got a little messy. On that note there a sink somewhere?" Shining just pointed down the hall, "Cheers, Tomas you stay here....I ain't losin my little boy!" He pointed back as he ran down the hall.

"Who in Celestia's name was that?"

".....a dangerous and highly unstable individual...." Shining shot one last glance back at him before looking me up and down.

"You didn't finish the paperwork..."

"Yeah...I know," I said staring at the ground.

"....I take it you're planning to go to the night guard then."

"Yeah....that I am...."

"....come back tomorrow at eight...." He just walked down the hall to his office and shut the door.

"Right.....what now?" I heard the soft beating of hooves. I looked around as the batmare from last night popped into view, "....great...let me guess-"

"Lady Luna has requested your presence..." She trotted up to me.

I looked around, "I can't......"

".....you were ask for by name..."

I looked around again, "Look I really can't....tell her I'm busy...."

".....this could have severe repercussions-"

"Oi Tomas," Andrew ran over grabbing me by the shoulder, "Come on lad, found a bird that got all blushy when I asked if she'd take it from both sides....oi who's this?" He looked her up and down, "This the one yer bangin?"

The bat mare looked him over, "....charming...at any rate you need to go to her...."

"Oi Tomas I smell pussy, Im'a go find it, ta," He walked off towards some of the castle staff, "Oi lass, lift that skirt for a second!"

".....Lady Luna....waits in.....the- who is that harassing the staff!?" She said, her tolerance snapping clean in half.

"....the reason I can't see her...." She pushed past me.

"Nonsense...go to her, I will handle this cretin..."

"....your funeral...." I started drudging outside and towards where she would be, "Might very well be your funeral...."

"Bloody- stairs-" I finally reached the top, "Why- all- the bloody- stairs....they've got four legs- I'd think they'd get tired sooner!" I stumbled down towards the door to her study, pausing once more before entering.

"...Tomas...." I looked over at the guard to the left of the door.

"....Libra?"

"Yes.....good morning...."

"Uh....yeah......certainly been interesting,"

"....good luck...."

"Uh......thanks, hopefully I won't-"

"You'll need it..." He said snapping back to attention.

"....great..." I slowly pressed the door open, "Hello?" I walked in, a soft magical light closing the door behind me, ".....ok.....hello?" I walked around the study, "Ok come on this ain't funny..."

"Good morning~" She craned her head around the back of a large chair, "A truly loyal subject, acting at my beck and call." I walked over to her, "Take a seat," I hesitantly complied, "Do you know why I summoned you?"

"....well..." I shifted in my seat, "....I can probably guess...."

"....than shall we?"

"...meeh...can....I'm....gonna look around a bit first..." I got up and looked through the bookshelves, "...just....kinda..." I worked my way to a balcony, "Huh....great view," I stepped out onto the balcony along sight a telescope, I looked through the telescope, my gut dropped, "....that's.....that's my house....." I turned towards the chair she had been sitting in, "Have you been watching me?" I walked back inside, she was nowhere to be seen, "....hey! I know you're still in'ere!"

I was quickly picked up and slammed into a nearby cushion, "Prepare thyself..." I was held in place while Luna slowly sauntered over to me, "Prepare to please your princess~"

"Wait!" She quickly found her place towering over me, my brain in full blown panic mode, "Wait wait wai-" She turned around and slowly started to lower her backside, "Oh fuc-"

"Take me down ta the the paradise city..." I zipped my fly, "...where the grass is green, an the girls are pretty...." The of the minute mare managed to look back at me, "Thanks for that love, really needed that," She just slumped her head down and rested on the box we "used", I pushed out of the door, "Oh won't you please take me home......now, where's my little boy!?" I started walking back towards where I left Tomas, "Tommy!? Where's ma little Tommy!?" Several mares hiding behinds furniture as I passed, "Little Tom Tom!?"

"Sir....what were you doing in that closet?" The mare Tom was hangin with walked over to me.

"Fucked a mare in both holes....why?"

"......you're joking right,"

"It was consensual...mostly.... and ya can give it a taste if'n'ya don't believe me..." I grabbed my fly.

"......you're disgusting," She said turning away.

I started off after her, "And you're a horse, now where is Tomas!?"

"Busy...."

"Doin what!?"

"That's on a need to know basis..."

"Right...and I need ta fuckin know!" I grabbed her tail and yanked her ass into my groin ,"Or do I need to "convince" ya first?" I punctuated convince with a quick grind of my hips. The mare quickly jerked away and kicked me in the shin, "OW....and I thought we really had something..." She turned to me absolutely livid, "Guess not..."

"Just shut up...." She started walking off again with me in tow.

"Man....you're asses are just the perfect height....just grab some meat....give it tha old *click click*" I thrust my hips for each click. She stopped dead causing me to bump into her backside again, "Whoa babe, give us some warnin first,"

She turned around with a look that was mere seconds from shooting lasers, "You are by far one of the most disgusting, most.....disturbing....most......lecherous, scum I have ever met!"

"Well....that's a long way to ask me ta fuck ya..." She just grunted and started off faster than before, "Oi come on, I really need to make sure my lads gonna be ok!"

"Stop following me!"

"Tell me where Tommy is!"

"No!"

"YES!"

"Jump off a bridge!"

"Get laid ya dumb cunt!"

"How about you-" I walked up and towered myself over her.

"We can make this consensual or not...this place ain't got shit compared to Germany!" I said spreading my arms.

"You're insane-"

"And you're still a horse...now I'll ask one last time before I use you like a cock sock...Where. Is. Tomas?" We had a short staring contest before she stuck her hoof out towards the exit.

"Across the courtyard up the stairs, in the tower....now get out of here,"

"Right....oh and someone should check on the girl in the closet, kinda fucked her silly," I shoved the doors open with style and started walking down the pitch, "Take me down ta the..."

"....take me home," Last step!

I hopped up and strolled over towards the only door, surrounded by two guards, "Morning ladies, Tommy in there?" I said leaning my ass back and torso forward.

"....who are you?" The one with the fancy helmet asked stepping in front of the door.

"Andrew Eldridge, gun runner, drug dealer, defiler of women, and older brother to one Tomas Eldridge....now is he in there?"

"That's quiet an impressive title...and he's busy right now," The other guard joined him infront of the door.

"Uhuh....so he's in there? Move," I kicked them to the side and pressed my ear to the door.

"HEY YOU CAN't-"

"SHHHHhhhh"

"Did you jus-"

"SHHHHHhhhhh."

"Bu-"

"SHhh!" Things got quiet and I could just hear some low moaning from the other side of the door.

"Tomas...Tomas...just a little longer..."

"Ohhh oh ho ho hoooh, WHOOO!" I slammed the door and turned away, "Little Tommy's finally becom'in a man!" I could feel myself tearing up, "I'm so bloody proud...."

"....are you alright?" The guard came over and poked me with his hoof, "Are you....crying?"

"I'm not cryin.....I'm not....My little lad's all grown up...." He walked around me.

"You are crying.....what is wrong with you?"

"Well....the doctors said I might be schizophrenic...but the voice in my head said fuck that guy," I said clearing my eyes, "....that was a joke....no it's all the drugs I was on way back when, fucked with ma head."

"....I meant why were you crying...."

"Oh.....pride?" The was a loud thud on the other side of the door. We all snapped to look and were immediatly rewarded with it swinging wide open, "Oh wow....Tommy knows how ta pick em...." Tomas slowly wandered out while the mare behind him hastily shut the door, "Tom!" I ran over and gave him a huge hug, "*sniff* Ya smell like pussy....I'M SO FUCKIN PROUD 'A YA!"

"Andrew.....get me home...I can't walk so well...." I felt him slowly put weight on my shoulders.

"First we need ta cel-"

"Andrew I really need to go home....I ain't playin...." He sounded really serious.

"...sure man....I'll grab some whores and booze later....come on up up!" I slung him over my shoulder, "Your still like a bloody feather.....ya ain't been takin speed have ya?"

"Andrew just....get me to a shower...."

"....fine....should wear that smell with pride though...." I slowly started back down the stairs, "The smell of sex and victory....reminds me of Amsterdam...." Next Chapter: Friday Estimated time remaining: 34 Minutes