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Everyday adventures: Her majesty's service.

by Sir Hat

Chapter 5: Friday

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Friday

"Eugh~" I kicked weakly at the shower valve, "Turn off ya.....Fuck!" I managed to hook it with the tip of my shoe, ".....fuckin hell..." I pulled myself up and out of the tub, "...man...my body hurts...." I was splayed on my back on the bathroom floor, "Andrew.....Andrew!?" Shit, need to hurry. I quickly pulled myself upright and out the bathroom. I hobbled to the back door first and locked it tight. I managed to get to the front and quickly lock it before putting my back to the door and sliding to the floor, "God please let the hold 'em....just for today...." I made contact with the floor and slowly felt my head roll slightly with the impact, "Just....gonna have a quick nap....then'l be right...and proper....."


*BANG BANG BANG* Someone started beating down my door, "AUGH! Why!?"

"Mr.Eldridge you need to get out here!"

"Look I don't know who ya'r or what ya want....just go away," I said clutching my head. The response was another volley of knocks on my door, except lower, and physically hitting me through the door, "Why!? God dammit....."

"You need to see this!" A paper started to be peek its way under my door, "Are you....move!" I promptly lifted my ass and let the paper slide through. It was slightly damp from my still wet clothes but still immediately recognizable. Andrew Eldridge: wanted for two counts of attempted rape, one count of narcotics possession, and twenty plus counts of lewd conduct.

"Aw Jesus....." I brought the paper back up, last seen sprinting half dressed into the Everfree forest...."Right.....hold on," I tossed the paper aside and unlocked the door, "Right....it's unlocked," I said, pulling myself back upright, "...last seen half dressed.....hell....that's 'em"

A pair of night guards burst in, "Mr. Eldridge...."

"Oh....hey Libra.....so uh.....this...." I pointed to the note.

He gave me a quick up and down, "...why are you wet?"

"....Andrew dumped me in the shower before taking off...I don't even know how long I was in there, only that he dumped me in there fully clothed,"

".......go and change, we need to talk with y-"

"Ya I gathered that....just...wait in the kitchin or sumthin," I slowly limped my way towards my Bedroom, "Bloody lunatic....stupid idiot...." I grumbled changing clothes. My alarm read about six am, "Jesus.....how long was I out...."

"Mr. Eldridge please hurry...." Libra moaned tapping my door.

"It ain't exactly easy....kinda stuck ta me..." I finally managed to peel my undershirt off and throw it off to the side, "My damn water bill is going to be.....fuckin Andrew....god I hope ya die out there....." I mumbled with the image of him being eaten by something out in the forest, no fraternal feelings left, only the pure rage and hate for years of abuse and incoherent madness.

I refocused and hazily drudged into my kitchen, "Right.....so what did you want,"

"Tomas...take a seat, "Libra motioned across the table, "I just need to ask a few questions."

I quickly found the chair, groaning from the weight as I sat down, "meugh....alright...what?"

"You are familr-"

"With Andrew Eldridge.....he is my older brother, with a know drug problem, and extreme metal issues....how he got into the country is beyond me, and I was not involved in any of the charges listed on the paper in any way, aiding or otherwise,"

"....alright then....and you-"

"You saw me....Ya can look up my water usage, I was stuck in that shower for almost two hours....before I pulled myself out,"

"....alright...and a stat-"

"Do ya really want me ta go into details....cause they'd get a bit messy around ten in the mornin...."

"...alright fine....we can vouch for the validity of this....do you have-"

"Find him, and make sure he never sees daylight again.....that man is fucking dangerous, seriously he is an absolute lunatic that will not be missed....now can I go back ta bed? My pelvis hurts...." Libra quickly shifted off his chair and started towards the door.

"....get some sleep, initiation is in a few hours,"

"Fuck.....when?"

"Six thirty, now get some sleep....and should you see your brother-"

"I will bloody murder him....like I shoulda done sooner...."

Libra looked at me with some slight concerned but shook it off, "We'll...keep in touch," The quickly filed out.

"Right....now get outta my house," I slammed the door and locked it tight, "Gonna go get some real bloody sleep."


"Mr. Eldridge?" Luna's voice broke the silence.

"No.....not right now...."

"But Mr-"

"Seriously no.....I just need some rest right now....ya nearly broke my pelvis..."

".....as you wish...." Her voice began to fade away.

"Thank ya.....also before ya go....it was honestly mostly worth the pain....mostly..."


Man.....it's so nice waking up on my own, "Up...come on...." I got out of bed and onto my feet, "My bloody neck..." I gave a few quick jerks before a loud pop cut the silence, "Ow...." A quick glance at the clock told me I had about an hour left, I quickly got dressed and primed to go, "Right.....guess I'll...." I paced around my living room, "huh....guess I'll just go...." I grabbed my keys and hurried out the door, "Maybe I should find Kim....nah...."


I passed a few shops, pictures of Andrew where everywhere, "Jesus....how did he even get into Equestria....wait a minute..." I walked over to one of the posters, "Oh man...." It was the same mugshot from back when we found out he got arrested in Germany, "....man....word must travel fast around him....or....hey wait.....FUCKERS!" I pulled the poster off the wall, "They fucking sent him here! Bastards!" Never trust the Germans! I crumpled up the paper and tossed it aside, "Bloody krauts couldn't deal with him!? What the hell.....I need to find him at some point, god please let him have died....please." I hurried down the street towards the castle.


"...you're early..." Libra said as I slammed into the locked door to the meeting room, I bounced off it violently, "....you know there is a reason I'm standing out here right?"

"ow...I didn't see ya....why's tha door locked?"

"The royal guard is still doing their initiation,"

"...and you're just stood out here?"

"....yes...."

"...they really treat ya like crap don't they,"

"...." I just nodded.

"So....sorry...bout....well my brother and last....Tuesday I think," I said walking to stand with him.

"It's not your fault....I mean Tuesday was, but your alibi checked out, you ran your shower for about five and a half hours,"

"Fuck....god dammit Andrew,"

"Indeed....needless to say you were obviously indisposed during his....escapades,"

"...what exactly did he do?"

"....revealed himself to children, mares, almost raped two, and was obviously on some sort of narcotic, we also have testimony from a small time drug dealer that he had his "product" stolen,"

"Oh....how'd ya managed that, " I asked leaning against a nearby wall.

"Let's just say we look upon drug related charges quite lightly relative to rape charges,"

"....yeah....that makes sense, also that really does sound like Andrew..."

"He's....he's not healthy is he?" I just hardened my frown, "I hope you understand we have no intention of letting him go free,"

"Oh no I know....it's for the best,"

"....and should he contact you-"

"I'll take care of him.....everyone was sick of his shit before this, neadless to say I won't have any hangups about seeing him get locked up,"

"...or banished, which is the most likely outcome,"

"To where?"

"....depends on who takes his case, Lady Luna or Celestia,"

"...didn't answer my question,"

"....either the moon, or.....under the moon,"

"Under?"

"Buried....Lady Luna is rather....heavy handed in these manners,"

"....she does seem to be trying to kill my family..." I said shifting uncomfortably.

"I don't- oh....you will heal, Lady Luna has been without suitors for some time....you should be honored really,"

"Yeah....honored...."

"It is better than my situation....no mare...no foal....and I'm getting old..."

".....didn't your sister say-"

"Shut up" He swung his hoof into my gut, "....as I said no mare....."

*cough* "....well....at least you're open about your....problem." He just glared at me.

"They would find any way to replace me with a non batpony in a heartbeat, what you know....keep it to yourself,"

"I wasn't planning on saying anything....I mean look at my situation...if I did she might actually have killed me," The door to the meeting room swung open and a mass of ponies and a few humans mustered out, "Right.....expecting a good turnout?"

" Ten or so....it's never very much," Once the throng was past he lead me into the meeting room, "I'll wait about thirty minutes, after that I think it's safe to assume we have our men," I found a seat and relaxed, "Oh....and before I forget Luna asked to see you once we were done here,"

"..of course she does....does she-"

"There is a good chance,"

"......fuck......I've seen my death....it's very squishy...."

Libra stood at the pulpit, "Mind yourself....She is our mistress remember"

"....yeah for some of us mistress takes another meaning...."


"Alright....gentlecolts, gentlemen...let us begin," I looked around, the room was full of maybe eight people, four batponies and three other men aside from myself, "You are all here because you have made the hard choice to join into the nightguard, with this decision come both great responsibilities and great opportunity," Libra stepped off the pulpit, "Given the small size I will forgo the ceremony, if you are ready I will administer the oath," There was a short bustle as we all stood, "I hereby do promise my service to the royal guard of the Mistress of the Night Luna," We repeated in unison, "I will serve dutifully and without falter, I hereby submit to any command given by the royal night guard, I hereby acknowledge that disobedience or treachery is punishable by banishment or execution, I do swear loyalty to the nation of Equestria and all her people," There was a quick flurry towards the end, "Gloria Nocte.....congratulations, I understand this may be viewed as an unpopular station, but I promise you all, the rewards are well worth it, DISMISSED!" Everyone started leaving, "Tomas....walk with me," He used a side door, I quickly hopped a few chairs and got to him.

"Ya man...sup?" We started walking through some strange halls in the castle, "....weird,"

"Only three of your kind.....still, enough to work with,"

"What's going on man?"

We walked into a small alcove, "I'm going to be as blunt as possible, you are going to join the officers, you will be in direct command of the three men that have joined the night guard, .....can you do this?"

"Uh- I- ...I don't know shit about leading people..."

"I can teach you....I merely need to know if you can commit yourself to such an endevor,"

".....why me? Why not a batpony?"

"We simply do not have enough, many are excellent guards, few have the aptitude to lead and we don't have the luxury of having a large pool of recruits to pick from.....can you do this?"

"....I-....I'm....fuck.....this shit got heavy quick.....and you'll show me how to do it?"

"I will tech you everything you need to know,"

".....fine,"

"Let me see your hand...." An odd request...I gave him my hand, "....I'm sorry about this," He quickly bit into my hand, his fangs sinking deep into it.

"AH FUCK!" I tired to pull my hand away, he simply held me in place, "FUCKER!" I kept pulling away until he let go, "Why did ya do tha-"

"Easy," My head started spinning, "to be perfectly honest, we can only speculate at how your body will react," My vision started to tunnel and each word was followed by an echo, "Welcome to the royal officers of the night guard..." I collapsed on the floor, "Gloria Nocte,"


I woke up in a haze, "Huh...where am I," I tired moving finding myself ensnared by Luna's curled form, "Luna?....what is this?"

She slowly lifted her head, "Peace....you are safe but you need rest," She lowered her jaw to my crown, her soft mane falling over me, "You are truly a loyal subject, and you are to be rewarded for that...but for now, Rest" I felt all the pressure leave my head as I slowly fell back against her forelegs. She quickly laid her head across my forehead and onto my temple. I felt myself leave my body behind and fall into a dark sleep.


"Luna!?" No answer, "Libra!? .....anybody!?" A pure white form slowly crawled from the floor, "What the hell...." It slowly stood mirroring myself, "Hello?" I slowly approached it, "What are you...." I reached out to it slowly, the creature mirroring my movements. I softly touched the tip of its finger, causing it to ripple once and immediately form features, piece by piece it formed a mirror replica of me, its eyes shut tight, "What in the-" The eyes shot open; blood red and I lost consciousness once again. I think I might be in hell. Next Chapter: Fragmentation Estimated time remaining: 23 Minutes

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