"Oi Tomas, time to get up!"

"Huh~?" I lifted my head up and was immediately smacked back down, "AHUGHR.....why!?" My hands found my pained face within seconds while I could hear Kim cackling off to the side, "Kim!? Tha fuck is wrong with you," I shifted to sit off the side of the bed, "I mean first the fuckin horn, now you're just hitting me!....Christ...." I got to my feet, "Get out..." I hazily pushed her out and got gathered up the uniform. It smell slightly but I don't think anyone will notice. Once I was dressed I went into my kitchen and quickly ate something, our next meeting wasn't for a few hours.

I stepped back into the guard HQ, place was busy getting ready for the changing of the guard, "Mr. Eldridge," Libra walked over, "You're early again."

I scratched the side of my head, "There ain't much for me to do at home...besides I thought you'd like to see me early," He just walked past, "What?"

"Nothing, just follow me," He walked towards the throne room, taking a hard left before we reached it, "It's been to long since I went on a standard patrol," He pushed the door open to the guard HQ courtyard, "Besides, most guards don't have to luxury of being a palace guard, can't put you in the wrong mindset now can we," We quickly crossed the main courtyard and were outside the castle grounds in a matter of seconds, "Now...a particular area has been rather busy lately, a local bar has been getting some rather serious attention." He took a sharp turn and hurried down the street.

"A bar, really?" I asked catching up with him.

"The owner has recently been involved in a rather serious self defense case,"

"How serious?"

"He shot an off duty guard that was threatening his patrons," I stopped dead for a moment to comprehend what he said.

"...wait shot!?" I ran back to him, "Shot, so there are still guns here?!"

"Yes, Equestria has no formal gun control laws," He looked to his right, "The same way I imagine your country doesn't have any magic control laws,"

"Tha hells a magic control law?" We passed a few shops that were getting ready to close.

"Exactly what it sounds like, to give an example: It's illegal to levitate anypony without concent,"

"Huh....see they never told us that in basic..."

"Well it really depends on where you get sent, areas founded by earthponies tend not to have problems like that,"

"Oh....your people a freakin weird,"

"As are yours, ah here it is," We stopped outside a small square building with some weird letters out front.

"six ap? What the hell kinda name is six ap?"

"Is bar," A grizzly voice sounded off behind me, "Move," A rough looking man pushed past me towards the bar.

"Oi watch the hell out," I yelled back at him, he only glared back and went back to opening the bar door, "Tha nerv-" A gray batmare pushed past me as well, "Jesus..."

"Sorry!" She said turning back, "Oh hey Libra!" She ran back and gave him a quick hug, "Who's this?"

"Trainee, taking him for a patrol around the area," The man that was working on the door walked over to us, "Vlad,"

"Libra....what is name?" He pointed at me barely lifting his arm.

"Name's Toma-"

"Trainee Eldridge," Libra said cutting me off, "Eldridge this is the man I was talking about,"

I just gave a quick grimace to Libra and turned back to the man, "....so, you're the bloke that shot someone...."

He looked me over, "Da....where are you from?"

"England....you Russian or some other shit country down there?"

"Russian, what is age?"

"Uh...nineteen, why?"

"Hm.....old enough to drink in your home?"

"Yeah....you're not gonna try and ....like rape me are ya?" He just glared, "It's a joke....seriously though you're creepin me out,"

He just shook his head, "Idiot...Libra you should come for drink later, bring him if he can pay," He quickly turned back and pushed the door open, "Come little one,"

The batmare quickly ran over into the bar, "See ya Libra," And like that the door was shut, leaving me and Libra standing on the sidewalk.

Libra gave a quick smile before trotting off, "Come along Mr. Eldridge, we have a long patrol ahead,"

"Right...now I matter..." I grumbled walking to catch up with him.

"...So I told her, ya ain't so much a bird as ya are a whale!" I started chuckling while Libra just stayed quiet, "Oh come on....that was funny,"

"Quiet....this way," He bolted off through an alleyway. I quickly followed and we eventually reached some strange noise.

"Come on...don't make this difficult, all we want is a little fun,"

"Yeah, we promise you'll feel good,"

"Hey back off!"

Libra looked back at me, "Three mares...we need to break this up,"

"What? What's going on," I asked as he started stepping out.

"Mares....is there a problem?" He asked stepping out into the middle of the scene. I quickly joined him. There was a stallion with his back agaist a wall with three mares around him.

"No problem....in fact you might have just made things even better," A beige mare walked over to him and ran her hoof along his breastplate, "I've never been with a bat before, you wanna be the first," Libra was absolutely stoic.

"I think you three should leave," He said not wavering an inch.

The mare took a step back as the other two kept advancing on the stallion, "That's fine if you don't want in...but we have a bit of a date with him...."

"Disperse or be subject for arrest, this is your final warning," He took a step forward, leaning into an aggressive stance.

"I'd like to see you make us lover boy," Libra calmly advanced and tackled the mare to the ground, using his forlegs to pin her back to the floor.

The other mares bolted off down the street, "Eldridge get after them!" I quickly ran off after them, it took me a few moments of sprinting before I caught one darting down an alley.

"Oi you git, slow the fuck down!" I managed to get beside her and tackle her to the ground, rolling across the dank alleyway for a meter before hitting a wall. "Gottcha ya dumb bint!" There was a quick tussle before I managed to put her in a full nelson and scramble to my feet, "Ha! Stupid bird...."

"LET ME GO!" She started kicking her back legs and thrashing, "Let me go and I'll-"

"Right don't bother....just enjoy the ride," I lugged her down the road and back towards Libra, "Tha hell were ya thinkin ya cretin?"

"...it's not fair....I just wanted one night..."

"Ya well this ain't tha way..." I picked up my pace and quickly found Libra and two other guards waiting at the spot, "The last one ran off..."

Libra dusted himself off and let another guard take hold of the now bound mare, "That's fine, it's more about the message," Another guard came over and quickly bound the mare I was holding, her dangling legs quickly tied and unusable. Once That was done I set her down and let the others cart them off.

"Phew! Bam, exciting night!" I clapped before dusting myself off, "So what was all that? Were they gonna like...rape that bloke?" I pointed to the stallion, now speaking with the guards.

His faced turned rather serious, "Unfortunately yes, it's a rather serious problem for those who are married or dating...or just don't want to have that kind of situation forced upon them."

"Oh...sorry, that's a pretty raw deal," I fixed my outfit, "...seems kinda weird...I'd think that there would be tons of stallions eagar to share a night with a trio of ready mares...." Libra looked at me with disdain.

"Perhaps your people would be content with that, our kind cherishes family and companionship more than base sex," He said with a slight snarl.

"Oi mate calm down...I didn't mean anything by it," He gave a final grimace before turning back down the street.

"It's fine, just don't joke about it, rape isn't a laughing matter," He trotted off down the street.

"Yeah...ain't back home either," I whispered to myself as I hurried to meet him.

The rest of the patrol was calm, a few noise complaints that were smoothed over without incident, "Well...let's call it a night," He stopped and removed his helmet, "I'm going to go and relax, you want to join me?"

"You wanna buy the first round I'll buy the second," I pulled my hat up and fixed my hair before setting it back down, "Let's not waste time," We walked calmly down the street, a  nice change from the slight tension that had followed that patrol.

"Vodka," The bartender nodded and looked at me.

"Uh....got Guinness?" I asked taking the stool next to Libra.

"Huh.... I think this is first time using tap," He said pulling a glass and walking off to the beer taps, "Also one of the first humans I serve..." He slid the drink over to me as Libra simply knocked twice on the counter, "Tab then...." He walked off to help another patron.

"Strange guy," I said taking a drink, "Eugh...ya can tell he never serves this..tastes a bit....stagnant,"

"How is it otherwise?" He asked downing almost half his glass, "This is ok but I could go for a change,"

"For ya...you eat strait wheat and stuff like that right?"

"From time to time...bat ponies can eat meat you know," He slammed the rest of his drink.

"Ah...did not know that...anyways it's worth a try," I took another drink just as the mare from earlier scooted next to me. She shot me a wide smile.

"Hi!"

"Yo....did you need something?" I asked setting my had on the counter.

"Not really....you just sound different than any other human I've met," She leaned over to look at my drink.

"That right...you're the one who was with the Russian right?"

"Vlad? Yep! He's my stallion alright," Odd phrasing.

"Stallion...does that mean you two-"

"Is problem?" The bartender walked back over.

"No Vlad, just talking with this guy," He just looked at me and cocked his eyebrow. I just sunk my head down and raised my glass. He nodded and went back to his patrons.

"Tha hell's that about?"

"He....he doesn't really like people around me, he didn't tell me to move though so that's a good sign,"

"Jealous type I take it?"

"Uh....more he's had to deal with patrons physically harassing us..."

"She mean's batponies..." Libra said nursing his second drink, "I'll tell you later..." I just frowned and went back to my drink.

"So where are you from?" The young mare asked leaning towards me.

"Kent....England,"

"Oh! We were in England!"

"Huh?"

"Yeah we went on a trip to Vlad's home and we stopped in England...we stayed on the plane but still!" She said tapping the counter.

"...that's a strange layover....ya probably stopped in London international...I live a bit south of there,"

"Neat!" She chirped as I finished off my drink.

"Hmm not bad...Oi barkeep!" I tapped the counter, "If ya don't mind," He looked over at me with a slightly less critical view and took my glass, promptly returning it full once more, "Right thanks lad," I wonder how long this place is open to.

"-and shen I shaid- ....fuck....whatdidah say?"

"You're drunk! Haha you...re drunk!" She said slightly bobbing as she did so.

"No no...I jusht....ah Christ....ah can't remember the word...."

"Dear Luna...Vlad I'm going to get these two home..." Libra said jumping off his seat.

"Da...you know where key is,"

"Alright you two come on," He pulled the mare down and helped steady her, leaving me to sloppily find my legs again. Once We were both semi mobile he started leading us into the street, "Come on..."

We started following him, "Hey...." I asked the sloppily walking mare.

"Waat?"

".....hey...."

"Whaat?"

"you've got a horsh face...." I started laughing like a madman, "Pffff, look at it..."

"Yeah well...you've....you've got....a face....face!"

"No I don't.....Libra...do I have a-"

"Will you two shut up!" He yelled back at us, "Luna...I should have know this was a bad idea,"

"Don't mind him...he's just mad he's a colt cuddler...." The mare whispered to me.

"Whastha hell ish a colt....cuddler?"

"WHAT!?" He yelled back at us turning bright red.

"It means....he like boys....." She started snickering, "Libra likes boys..." He just turned his head back forwards and hurried his pace.

"Ish that why you don't.....mares....tha thing?" He didn't answer, I promptly asked the question back to the young mare beside me.

"What mares....whaat thing?"

"Tha thing...with tha....with tha thing in the other thing..." She realized what I was talking about and fell over laughing, "Noooo, why'r ya on tha floor?!"

"DEAR LUNA! Find your own way back!" Libra started galloping off at full speed.

"LIbra....he's just....*burp* mad....come on...." She rolled back onto her hooves and started sloppily weaving down the street.

"Here....it'sh under here," She bumped into a small statue, "Get it..."

I barely managed to kneel down and grab the key from under that statue, falling back agaist the short wall once I stood, "Ya sure he won't mind..."

She looked at me left eye half closed, "Nawwww, just do the door," I shrugged and hazily unlocked the door and stepped inside, "Jusht...couch...over there,"

"I ain't so sure bout this...."

"Oh shutap...you're a night guard...Vlad likes the night guard...it'llll be fine!"

"Whatever....." I found the couch and sat back against it, "I jusht..." I was out within seconds. Next Chapter: Wednesday Estimated time remaining: 56 Minutes