Chapter 6

Time Turner’s eye twitched ever so slightly at the building in front of him. Not so much the fact that it existed, as it was that he’d never ever seen it before. That, and Twilight Sparkle had brought him here.

“Um, since when does Ponyville have a, well, what did you call it?” he asked calmly, making an attempt to sound more conversational than completely confused and mildly affronted.

She seemed not to notice. “It’s called a poetry cafe. They were very popular about ten or so years ago, but have since dwindled off. I was surprised to find one myself, actually. And very excited!” she added with a little skip in place.

“Oh, really?” Turner asked. He was starting to regret asking the alicorn to choose where they went on their date. In all honesty he’d asked her where she wanted to go, because he had about as much experience with actual dating as he thought she did. He’d also been under the (as of now incorrect) assumption that she’d choose something like a concert hall, or a high-profile club, as spike had given him the impression she liked to show off her new status as royalty.

They trotted in, Twilight skipping happily, and Time Turner trailing just slowly enough behind her that they didn’t quite enter at the same time. He hoped.

-------

Muster glared over to Eve from across the aisle. They’d opted to take a train to Ponyville, as one was leaving shortly, and Princess Luna had been taking every opportunity as of late to indulge in all the advances of technology since her banishment. He got the impression she just really really liked trains.

Of course, this had nothing to do with the actual glare. Nor did the armored luggage incident, as he was now calling it. Said luggage was currently out of pony-crushing reach, stowed away in a safe rack elsewhere in the private car.

Luna was still royalty, after all. The three of them were the only ones in this particular (and mildly sparkly) train car.

No, Muster’s glare was something entirely new. Cast over a hooffull of cards, he analyzed and scrutinized his opponent as she waved her hand of cards back and forth, teasingly, tauntingly. And he hated it.

He also hated Old Mare, but that’s what they’d all decided on. They couldn’t play Poker, nooooo. He was good at Poker.

He reached out tentatively, his hoof teasing the air above Eve’s hoof of cards, as she moved them about, ever so slightly, just to fuck with him. She’d pay for it later.

But for now, he realized with a sigh, he was stuck with the Old Mare. And a smirking Eve who, he had to admit, would probably be an even match for him had they been playing poker. Thank, well, the alicorn in the room that they hadn’t been betting on anything.

A few goes aroud the table later, and Eve had won, much to Muster’s chagrin.

Luna, however, seemed delighted just to be playing, and acting, well, like everypony else. It was an untold truth and somewhat of a secret throughout the Lunar Guard that, while Luna enjoyed being a Princess, and loved her subjects and family deeply, she had always wanted a chance to be just a normal pony like everypony else. The problem being that, even if she was put into a situation where she had the opportunity to mingle or socialize or just ‘hang out’, the princess of the night wasn’t exactly normal.

Hence the whole going to Ponyville for clothes thing. “Excellent, well done Eve,” Luna praised. She glanced about the car as she did so, seemingly looking for the next possible source of amusement. Her eyes stopped briefly on a selection of games and cards, then moved along.

“Well, we could always just... talk,” Muster suggested. A quick glare from Eve made him regret the suggestion almost immediately, though, as he turned his eyes towards the Princess. Her expression was, if not sad, less enthusiastic.

“We... I... apologize. We are not so great at... conversation,” Luna explained.

Had Muster thought about it he’d have smacked himself. Of course she was uneasy on the subject. Nearly everypony in the castle knew about Luna’s lack of conversational skills or confidence. Almost all of the talking she’d done was at ponies, not with them.

The white unicorn would not be so easily dissuaded, however. “Well, that’s what we’re here for. If you feel like you need... practice, we’d be more than happy to help,” he offered, looping an arm around his bat compatriot, and pulling her in for a hug of the camaraderie persuasion. He could feel her hissing ever so quietly through her armor, but ignored it. Mostly.

Luna, however, seemed overjoyed at the concept. “Yes, yes! Practice! That is what we need! Thank you, dear Muster!”

Eve growled at him. “Yes, thanks, Mustard,” she hissed, barely loud enough for him to hear.

They’d both be paying for their transgressions later, it seemed.

---------

Time Turner was at a complete loss of what to do. He’d never dealt with a crying mare before. Let alone one under such... unique circumstances.

“They said I was too... too... mainstream!” Twilight wailed, all but soaking Turner’s coat.

The two of them sat at a park bench, with Twilight crying in Turner’s arms, the latter sporting a rather concerned and somewhat embarrassed expression. They were getting looks. “Oh,” he said, hopefully soothingly, “I’m sure they just don’t know how to deal with royalty.” He winced at the weak excuse for comfort he was offering her.

“They-they said I was too-too-too popular to be cool!” she burst into a renewed series of sobs after her outburst, and Turner was convinced that he may even need to replace his coat. It was quite a shame. He was rather attached to it.

“Well, I still think you’re cool,” he offered. Her sobs died down a little bit, as she looked up at him.

“Really?” she sniffed, gazing up at him with hope in her eyes.

I’m about to say the cheesiest thing in my entire life. Pray I am not devoured by giant mice.. “Hey, come on. I liked you before it was cool.” Had she not been staring straight at him he would have flinched himself off the bench.

Of course, he didn’t stay on the bench for long, as Twilight leapt up and kissed him, tumbling them down off the bench, onto the grass.

I swear to Luna if being cheesy gets me laid I’m changing my name to Fondue.

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“And that is why I am going to go get new clothes from Miss Rarity,” Luna finished.

Eve and Muster exchanged glances. The bat, one of abject horror. The Unicorn, one of absolute glee. Well, the guard equivalent, anyway. In reality, their expressions were stoic, measured, and practiced walls of non-emotion. But each could tell what the other was thinking.

Oh my god I’m naked I’m unclean somepony get me soap and disinfectant don’t look at me I’M HIDEOUS! Had the Princess not been present, Eve would have been screaming.

Naked naked naked NAKED naked naked naked Naked naked naked naked. Muster, on the other hand, would have been dancing.

You’re a horrible pervert and you should feel awful! Don’t look at meeeee!

Yeah? Well you’re NAKED.

Wretch! Scoundrel! Manslut! Deviant!

Naaaaaakeeeeeeeeeed.

Eve broke first. “Your... uh... Your Highness?”

Luna, having been completely unaware of the internal monologue, tilted her head in curiosity. “Hmm?”

“Would there be a chance I could maybe get some clothes for myself?” she asked, as politely as she could.

Luna thought about it. “Well, I am not sure if Rarity would be able to do so many custom orders all at once, but I am sure she has some pre-made outfits. Or perhaps there is more than one clothing store in Ponyville.”

Eve sighed visibly in relief, breaking character for a moment. “Thank goodness.”

Luna raised an eyebrow for a moment, then, as realization sank in, she nodded consolingly. “It is a rather distressing thought, isn’t it?”

Eve shuddered. “I’d never... well... yes. It is.” Eve stole a glance back over to her partner.

Naked naked naked naked naked NAKED naked naked naked naked naked Naked naked naked naked nuuuuuuuuuuude naked naked.

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I woke up that morning, aware of a few different things. One, was that it was much later than I usually got up. Two, I wasn’t getting screeched at.

Where the fuck was Twilight?

I mean, I like her just fine, and most of the time she’s not annoying, but if I’m allowed to sleep in and wake up on my own time, something’s wrong. So I looked about the library for her. She wasn’t in bed.

She wasn’t downstairs studying or passed out over a book.

She wasn’t in the kitchen. Although for some reason I really wanted a sandwich right now.

Thus, I could conclude, she wasn’t home. But I did check the basement lab, just to be safe. Nothing new in there, thank Celestia.

Then my eyes were drawn to the note on the table I’d left there last night. The one about the date with Time Turner.

“Awww, yeah. Dude,” I cheered for the stallion who wasn’t there. “This day is going to be great.”

Then, a knock on the door. I went to answer it, because that’s what I usually do anyway, and was surprised at who I saw standing there.

Not Twilight.

Not any of the girls.

But a guard. And not just a guard. A member of Luna’s private protection unit. A Lunar Guard. Probably high ranking, and built more like a weapon than a pony. “Um, yes?” I asked quietly.

“Are you Spike.” It was more a demand then a question.

“Y-yes?” I stammered. Dude, what did I do?

All of a sudden, he’s hugging me. “Thank you thank you thank you,” he repeated, all but crushing the wind out of my lungs. Then he trotted off.

I could have sworn I heard him mumbling “Naked naked naked naked...”

Author's Notes:

This chapter may be short, but it tells everything I want it too. The next one should be longer with all the stuff happening. I’d have put it all in this chapter, but that’d take for fucking ever and be way too long.

So, have some story.