Chapter 4

Time Turner had said something about needing to do some calculations or whatever before he talked to Twilight. I figured that was his way of saying he had absolutely no idea how to talk to her. Which didn’t surprise me. Most stallions I’ve met have very little experience in dealing with mares romantically.

Which might explain all the lesbians.

Anyway, I was headed back to the library, as Caramel and Big Mac were off doing work, when I ran into a familiar face. Literally.

“Ow, dude, watch the corners, little bro!” I looked up from my new found position of looking up at the sky (with a slight headache), to see Vinyl Scratch rubbing her forehead. Thank Luna she didn’t impale me.

“Oh, sorry, Vinyl. What are you doing?” I ask politely. As if I hadn’t been staring avidly at her ass yesterday.

“Not much, O Reptilian One. Just heading down to Rarity’s. Need a new outfit for my gig this weekend.” She looked thoughtful for a moment (which was new for her, I’ll admit), and asked, “Hey, you wanna come with?”

Now, I know by now it’s no secret that I have a huge crush on Rarity. I gave up thinking that was a private thing months ago. But that doesn’t mean I’ll just hop on any opportunity to see her aga-”Hell yeah!” I shouted mid-thought. Huh. Apparently I will.

Vinyl nodded approvingly and walked ahead of me. I have to admit, the view was good. “So I heard down the grapevine that Twilight chewed you out some this morning, huh? Something about a naughty dream...” she dragged the last couple of words out and shook her waist teasingly.

Penis-ninjas: 1. Public indecency: 0.

“Yeah, but she shut up about it when I mentioned a certain book she’d left lying around. Pretty sure the Princess didn’t ask her to study THAT,” I explained, moving to catch up with her and walk side by side. Can’t be too careful.

She laughed at that. “Ha! I always figured she was some kind of closet pervert. She really needs to get out or something. Hey! Maybe I should drag her to the gig thingy later!”

I shook my head. “I’d hold off. She’s still dealing with the whole being a Princess thing. And by that I mean she’d ask everypony in the club to bow or something. It’s kind of a pain in the scales. Besides, I’m working on a little something for her. I know a guy.”

Vinyl nodded sagely. “Oh, yeah. That could be a major party killer. Wouldn’t want that. Well, if you say you got something lined up, I’ll trust ya, little scaly dude. Anyway, we’re here,” she added, pointing a hoof at Carousel Boutique.

“Oh, hey, look at that,” I noted, and knocked on the door.

“Coming~” said Rarity. Ho man, I loved that voice. The door squeaked open, and the little bell rang, and there she stood: Rarity. Best mare ever.

No, seriously. I’ve met the Wonderbolts and the Princesses and pretty much everypony in Ponyville. Rarity’s IT, man. “Hey Rarity!” I waved.

Vinyl followed suit. “Hey, what’s up, Rara? Got some time for a new order?”

Rarity’s absolute loathing of the nickname was overridden by somepony wanting to pay her money to make clothes. It’s like if somepony asked me to eat a bucket of chocolate ice cream for 100 bits. So not fair. “Why of course, darling!” She exclaimed, her eyebrow twitching regardless. Not everypony can deal with everypony here. There are always... clashes.

Namely, the raver pony spawn of a glowstick factory and a sugar addict, and the creature descended from the heavens to make my life significantly more awesome than it already was.

Rarity turned around to walk back into the shop, and I was briefly reminded of the last couple days’ events. Like I’d forgotten. But along with the fresh reminder of the constant presence of glorious pony ass all around me, I was hit anew with a crisp, shining realization.

Rarity was naked.

I swear to you, I’d never wanted to bow and pray to Celestia in gratitude more than that moment. The beautiful dawning of epiphany that my crush wasn’t wearing a damn thing save for some hair ornaments was quite possibly the crowning moment of my life. And thank the stars everypony knew about my crush already, cause I was just kind of standing there blushing like a fool. “Spikey-wikey, don’t get all embarrassed. I know watching a pony get fitted for a new outfit is a little... intimate, but you’re always welcome here. I could use the help, anyway!” she said cheerfully.

Wait, she thought I was blushing cause she was gonna start making Vinyl’s outfit? A snicker to my left and a brief brush of Vinyl’s tail against my scales told me yes, that’s exactly what they thought.

Damn, I’m good.

I followed the two into the parlor, and started fetching things for Rarity as she asked for them, while Vinyl started posing in front of the mirror.

I love mirrors, now.

---------

Dear Miss Rarity,

Certain... events in the castle have led me to the conclusion that I require a new wardrobe. Something conservative, yet regal. My sister has informed me that you are a well-known and accomplished designer and seamstress, and come with Princess Twilight Sparkle’s recommendation.

As such, I would like to employ your services in helping me construct an entire new wardrobe from scratch. I am willing to pay handsomely for your work, as I have seen it firsthand at my niece Princess Cadence’s wedding, and am confident in its quality.

Please respond at your earliest convenience, and we shall establish a date and time for me to visit your boutique to begin work immediately.

Respectfully,

Princess Luna

Luna looked over the letter a few times, having made changes here and there, doing her best to leave out her personal conflicts with public nudity. Finally satisfied that the letter conveyed her intent and employed proper etiquette, she sealed it up, and trotted off to her sister’s room.

“Tia!” she called as she knocked. It was some time after noon, and she knew her sister to be taking personal letters at this time.

A soft tapping of hooves indicated her sister’s approach to the door, followed quickly by it opening. “Yes, sister?” Celestia said pleasantly. She smiled at the look on her younger sister’s face, one of accomplishment and joy.

“My letter is done. I believe you have a more... expedient way of sending it than the Royal post?” Luna asked with large, pleading eyes.

Celestia laughed softly, taking her letter in her magical grip. “Yes, I do. Just a moment.” Her face tightened slightly in concentration, and the letter burst into flames. She had to keep herself from laughing at Luna’s shocked expression. “Relax, sister, I didn’t destroy it. You remember dragon post, do you not?”

Luna’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh, yes! Twilight Sparkle has a baby dragon living with her, I’d forgotten! Well, not that I’d forgotten the dragon, but I’d forgotten the post. So it’s on its way?”

Celestia nodded. “It’s probably already there.”

----------

Let me tell you something. I HATE getting mail. Sending it is cool. I get to light stuff on fire. But receiving it? Have you ever belched fire before? It hurts. And it’s loud and kind of rude. But I was used to it, and soon I caught the letter and gave it a quick look.

And that’s when I saw Luna’s seal. Oh, boy. I turned it over to look at the address, and saw that, for some reason, it was addressed to Rarity.

“Hey, dude, if you’re gonna vomit paper, can you do that in the trash?” Vinyl called from the elevated platform Rarity was currently taking her measurements on. “You almost set me on fire. Not that I’ve never been on fire, but still. Dude.”

Rarity waved a hoof in dismissal. “Oh, it’s just a letter from the Princess. Probably for Twilight. Why don’t you go deliver it, sweetie? I’m all good here.”

“Actually,” I said in amazement, “It’s for you. From... Princess Luna.”

Both white unicorns turned to look at me. Not for the first time I wondered if they were related. “What.” Rarity said simply. Then she bum rushed me. I threw the letter in the air to keep from getting trampled, and she caught it with her magic. I think she read the thing like, four times.

“P-p-puh-puh-Princess L-l-luna wants me to what?!” Uh-oh. Please don’t be my fault please don’t be my fault please don’t be my fault.

The next instant, Rarity had me in a big bearhug. Ok, so far so good. “Oh, Spikey, did you SEE this?! She wants me to make her a whole WARDROBE!” She shoved the letter in my face, and I read it. Twice.

So, Princess Luna’s response to my ‘dream conversation’ was to just order clothes? That sounded... actually rather rational and appropriate.

I could deal with... wait. Did that letter say she was coming HERE?!

“Son of a-”

“SPIKE!”

-------

Time Turner walked back and forth in front of the door to the library for what must have been a good five minutes before knocking.

Actually, it was four minutes 58.37 seconds. He was good at this kind of thing.

“Just a second!” said a gentle, female voice from the other side. Turner trotted nervously in place, debating whether or not to just run away now.

‘No. That would be very ungentlecoltly. Bad Time Turner.’

The door creaked open, and there stood Twilight Sparkle. Her Royal Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle. Time Turner almost turned and ran away right then. But to his merit, he stood his ground.”Oh, hello, Time Turner. Can I help you?”

“Uh, hi! I was... well I was walking by and, well more like trotting really. I do kind of miss walking. But that’s another story oh dear I’m rambling again aren’t I?” To say nothing of maintaining his composure, that is.

“Um, Turner? Are you ok?” Twilight asked, her head tilted in concern.

He stopped, took a breath as if he were diving into a pool, and decided to rip the bandage off. “Will you go out with me tomorrow night?!” He all but yelled at her, staring at the floor out of lack of nerves.

At first, there was silence. The kind of uncomfortable silence you get when you’re just waiting for a question to be answered. Then, Time Turner became aware of a low whining noise. Like a tea kettle just starting to boil. He looked up, and saw the absolute last thing he expected.

Twilight Sparkle shaking in barely contained excitement, a big grin plastered on her face.

The next thing he was aware of was getting hugged, followed by a large stream of “Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes....”

Time Turner looked down at the Alicorn Princess currently wrapped around his neck, and sighed. “Ho boy.”

Author's Notes:

Well, this story basically exploded. I can’t believe how long it lasted on the featured list, or how high it got.

Thanks to everyone reading this.

And, a friendly reminder, I do have other stories you can go read. When you’re done here.