Wednesday, March 13th 2014…

So in the end, I made four friends that day. Cheerilee and the three fillies: Sweetiebelle, Scootaloo and Applebloom, the latter of the list sharing a striking name with my rifle.

On top of that, Twilight noted that despite my lack of enthusiasm about friendship, I was well on my way. Oh, and I guess I got a porno magazine in the process, so I guess the pros outweigh the cons.

I grunted as I clenched my eyes shut in furious effort. My face was turning a puffy red as I squirmed about. My elbows were cocked and my hands burned as I gripped the bar harder, trying to give myself any sort of advantage.

“Come on… Come on… COME ON!” I yelled. I grunted before my chin finally rose above the bar. My eyes went wide and I released my grip from the bar, falling to the ground below with a mediocre THUD that echoed throughout the room.

My panting was erratic and Spike stepped over me, looking down with a raised brow. “Well…” He began with confusion in his voice. “You beat your record but…” He trailed off and looked to the bar then back to me. “You only did five… I don’t get it.” He stated with a confused tone.

“EVAN! Are you alright!” I heard Twilight peep up. I looked over to the staircase, only to see her peering down at me with a look of worry on her face.

I rolled my eyes before standing up and stretching my back. “Yeah… yeah I’m fine.” I replied as I looked to the floor. A hint of curiosity enticed me and I looked back to her. “How long were you sitting there watching me?” I asked.

She blushed and looked away, covering her cheeks with her hooves to try and conceal it. I rolled my eyes, “I’m not mad or anything. Heck, it’s your house. For all I care, you can watch me while I sleep.” I told her. She looked back to me, her blush now faded away and non-apparent.

“Since eight thirty… I’m sorry. I should have told you.” She apologized. I waved my hand in a forgiving way.

“Nah, don’t worry about it.” I said as I looked to my watch. It was 9:30am now, meaning she’d been watching me silently for the last hour. ‘That mare finds just about anything interesting… probably even dirt.’ I thought to myself.

Why on earth she’d sit there silently and watch me I’d never know, but at the moment I didn’t much care. Spike interrupted my thoughts. “You can lift more than anypony in town, EVEN BIG MAC... yet you can’t do chin-ups?!” He gasped.

I looked to him with a risen eyebrow. “Are you trying to tell me something?” I chuckled with a smile as I crossed my arms and flexed. He brought his hands up defensively.

“No-no! I’m just saying… it’s strange is all.” He replied. I laughed and tussled my hand across his head. Twilight stepped up beside me and joined in Spike’s curiosity.

“Spike has a point. I’ve seen you climb up the bookshelves yet you can’t seem to manage this particular… workout.” She told me and I sighed.

“Yeah… yeah I was never good at chin-ups. Even with my body the way it is now… I’m still just as terrible as ever.” I laughed wholeheartedly. My stomach grumbled and Spike’s face lit up with a look of excitement.

“Evan’s hungry! Twilight can we go to Sugarcube Corner?!” Spike asked, more like pleaded. Twilight scratched her head unsurely.

“I don’t know Spike… I’m trying to cut back on sweets…” She trailed off as she thought more and more about the topic. ‘God, she makes everything so goddamned difficult. I mean, you could ask her what two plus two is, and she’d make it a goddamned equation that stretches across an entire blackboard.’ My thoughts were cut off by Spike.

“I could just go with Evan!” He stated hopefully. Generally I wouldn’t go out, but if Spike wanted to go somewhere then I might tag along, but only if it’s because he wants me to go.

I scratched my head. “Uhh… I don’t know Spike. My money is worth nothing in this world.” I told him. Twilight gave me a nudge.

“Well maybe you should get a job, rather than bumming off me all the time.” She laughed playfully.

“Hey! I never bum money off you!” I replied defensively but she just laughed at the comeback.

“Sure, you just sit around down here and eat for free, don’t pay rent…” She laughed as she gave me another nudge. I just rolled my eyes and snickered.

“Yeah… cause I’m sure that Sugarcube Corner really needs a bouncer… or a cashier.” I said as I put on a straight face. “Hey you!” I said as I pointed to an imaginary customer. “YEAH YOU! Buy this 30 bit cake or else!” I said in a lumbering tone. “ ‘Ahh, okay, please don’t hurt me!’” I said, enacting what a pony might say if I did that to them.

I nodded and looked to Spike. “Yeah… that’d go over well.” I said, pretending like it would actually work. Twilight buried her face in her left hoof.

“Ugh… you’re hopeless.” She groaned. I clapped my hands together, a loud slap echoing in the room, before fist pumping.

“Score one for Burdy.” I muttered to myself. I clenched my fists and readied myself to try another set of chin-ups. Just as I was about to jump up, Twilight placed a hoof on my shoulder.

I turned to see her standing on her hindlegs with a sly smile on her face. “My friend Applejack needs some help pulling the wagons loaded with saplings around then planting them. I’m sure she could use a brute like you around.” She told me as she rested a hoof on my chest and looked up into my eyes.

“Whatta yah say? I’m sure a big brute like yourself wouldn’t mind lifting heavy things around all day.” She asked. I stifled a laugh and she stepped back and fell to all fours. “What’s so funny? I gave you a job offer.” She stated.

“Oh nothing. Yeah sure, I’ll help. It’s just that my boss used to get me to do a lot of heavy lifting and eventually he gave me the nickname ‘Hercules’.” I told her. She smiled and began to turn but I spoke before she got far. “One condition.” I told her. She stopped and turned around.

“What do you mean? How many conditions can there be to planting trees?” She asked and I stepped forwards.

“I work alone. I don’t want some pony standing next to me blabbering on about friendship and that kind of crap.” I told her. Twilight sighed and rested a hoof over her eyes. I looked to my clothes. My classic M81 camouflage combat jacket and cargo pants, with a white V-neck t-shirt underneath my coat and Terra work boots. It seemed like reasonable work clothing. I picked up my brown cowboy hat and held it by my side, not wanting to place it on my sweaty head.

A half an hour later…

The orange southern mare standing next to me pointed out to the pasture. “Generally ah don’t start plantin this early but weather’s permittin.” She said in a heavy southern tone.

I looked to the wagon then back to the field. I had probably 200 saplings but the good news was that the dirt was already plowed. That and it was a rather warm day today. “What’s the pay?” I asked and she looked to me with a raised eyebrow.

“Now generally ah don’t have help but ah reckon if yah don’t bellyache or lollygag… ah’ll pay yah fifteen bits an hour. How’s that sound?” She asked.

I nodded and grabbed the tongue of the wagon. “Sounds good boss.” I said as I began to heave the wagon along behind me.

I checked my watch to see that it was 10:32am. Well, if I got this done in good time, I could bring the empty wagon back to the barn, refill, have lunch…

My thoughts trailed off as I realized that not only hadn’t I eaten since 3:30am this morning, but I had forgotten to bring a lunch. “Shit.” I muttered as I approached the planting grounds. I looked to my left hand and slipped of my ‘wedding ring’. I didn’t really want to have to wash it, or lose it.

“Alright you little shits… I’m gonna put you in the ground.” I muttered. One by one, I began taking the saplings off the wagon and planting them. I was surprised to find the dirt as loose as it was.

My footprints were left as evidence in the ground as I continued planting the sapling trees. “Well… this is some good weather. Applejack wasn’t joking.” I told myself. ‘Applejack… what the hell kind of name is that anyway?’ Who decides on naming their kid Applejack?' I asked myself. Everypony in this weird world seemed to have weird ass names.

I kept muttering thoughts to myself as I continued planting. I reached into the waist harness that held extra saplings and felt gross mucky water in the bottom of the harness. I reached around and felt for any extra saplings but there were none.

I looked to the wagon to see that it was empty. I looked to my watch and saw that it was now 11:41am. I rubbed some sweat from my face and began pulling the wagon back to the barn. When I had rubbed my face, dirt and muck smeared across my cheeks and forehead. Grit and muck now dripped down along with the sweat.

In just a few minutes I was back at the barn and looking around for another filled wagon, or at least some more saplings. I quickly spotted two more filled wagons and pulled my empty wagon over and parked it beside the others before grabbing the wagon closest to me.

I would’ve liked to stop for lunch but I had nothing so there was no point really. I pulled the second wagon back to the pasture fields and began planting. I began to muse to myself about what I could be doing if I was back home. I guess right about now I’d be having lunch with my boss.

My stomach grumbled as I remembered my boss’s wife’s cooking. My boss would always invite me to have lunch with him, something about how it was easier that way and how with the way I ate, he never had to eat leftovers for dinner.

I quickly thought about other things but would always come back to thinking about food. Before I knew it I was reaching into an empty pouch and the wagon was empty yet again. My stomach grumbled loudly as I rubbed the back of my neck, smearing mud and grit along the backside, but with my hunger the way it was, the grit and mud didn’t feel all that bad.

“Okay… I’ll park the wagon then get something to eat.” I muttered to my stomach then looked around only to realize that there were no apples on the trees. I looked to my watch, it was still early in the day, only being 1:58pm.

“Well…” I muttered as I pulled the second wagon back to the barn. As I arrived I spotted the third wagon, still loaded with saplings. I left the empty wagon behind and began towing away the final wagon.

I reached the planting ground once more and went back to work, but my stomach began to groan in outrage. “Alright… just shut up for a while longer, would yah!” I hissed.

As I continued planting, my back began to singe from my constant bending over. I stood up and stretched with a groan. Doing some sloppy mental math, I thought to myself. 'Okay, I’ve been working for say… 11:30, 12:30. 1:30, 2:00… so three and a half hours and I got four hundred saplings planted so… I plant a sapling every 5 seconds… that’s probably not right but probably close.’ I thought.

Not being very intellectual in mental math, and lacking any sort of calculator meant I was a little short on my mathematics.

Once again I was surprised when I reached into an empty pouch and felt nothing, then saw nothing on the wagon. I looked to my watch, it was a little past five. 5:03pm to be exact.

I had taken a lot longer with the last batch because I had to constantly stand up and stretch due to my back acting up. Then again I hadn’t stopped all day so it was inevitable.

I yawned and looked around, soon spotting a suitable looking tree. I walked over and plumped myself down beside it. My back seemed to unclasp and my whole body quickly relaxed. My hunger was quickly overcome by exhaustion and my head clunked against the tree trunk.

“Okay Burdy… just a little… nap. Then I'll get some food.” I said through a long yawn. I titled the brim of my dark brown cowboy hat over the front of my face and closed my eyes. The grip of my bowie knife resting in its sheath felt cool against the palm of my hand. I had almost forgotten that I had brought that. My mind quickly became a void of darkness...

Noises echoed in my mind and my senses finally came to. I found myself looking up at the ceiling of the barn parlour at my boss’s farm. I titled my head down to see the washing machine doing its cycle, cleaning the teat clothes for the cows.

The timer stated it still had at least another five minutes before it was done, giving me time for a power nap. The pipeline sanitizer began its cycle and the suction engine began to hum loudly.

I leaned back in the office chair and let out a sigh of relief. As I closed my eyes, all my other senses became extremely alert. A flake of ceiling dust touched my skin, awaking me from my brief slumber with a jolt of shock and alertness.

I quickly settled and relaxed but the sound of a kitten purring gave my body a jolt and I nearly lept up. “Hey Cheetos…” I muttered, knowing exactly who it was. I rested my head back against the cool black leather of the office chair. The black kitten hopped down to my lap while a similar, yet larger, cat hopped up and nestled down on the top of my right leg. Both cats began to nap with me, all the while purring in a relaxed tone.

Finally a prolonged peace came but as my thoughts became dark and void, an unfamiliar smell filled my nostrils. It smelt like… apples… sweet juicy apples. My peace was disturbed but not enough to wake me.

The sound of grass squishing beneath someone’s foot sounded more like a crack of thunder and the hair on the back of my neck prickled up…

Time seemed to slow to an absolute stand still. Though it was dark out, everything was pitched in a dark red faze. The thought of imminent danger in the unknown darkness brought my senses to a whole new level.

In a flash motion, my bowie knife was out. I held it with the blade pointed out the bottom side of my hand, ready to slash then stab whatever was approaching me.

My hat fell off my head, allowing my perception to expand. As the darkness seemed to brighten up with my heightened senses, I realized that my mystery figure was actually Applejack.

Though we were still feet away, the gleaming knife blade obviously didn’t ease the situation in the slightest. I titled the blade slightly, bringing the blade out of the moon’s light before sheathing it.

“Woah… Ah didn’t mean nothin by it…” Applejack stated hesitantly. I picked up my hat from off the ground and brushed it off before placing it atop my head.

“Sorry… you just startled me is all.” I stated. She snickered before taking a step forwards.

“Working hard or hardly working?” She teased and I looked to my clock, realizing that it was 10:30pm. I muttered a swear to myself and she stepped closer. “Now, ah can’t pay yah fer staying late while not workin…” She told me and I gave my back a gentle crack.

“Don’t worry bout it. My fault…” I muttered, scorned at myself for having fallen asleep.

“So, how long’d yah work till yah passed out?” She asked. I did the mental math. 10:30-5:00.

“Ten thirty till five… six and a half hours.” She looked at me and did the math.

“How long did yah have fer lunch. Sorry Sugar Cube but ah can’t pay yah while yah weren’t actually workin.” She told me.

“I didn’t. I worked right through lunch.” I told her as my stomach grumbled. She gasped as she brought her hoof up to her mouth.

“Yah didn’t have tah do that!” She gasped and I rolled my eyes before looking away in embarrassment.

“I uhh… didn’t pack a lunch… guess I kind of gapped that small detail.” I replied. She kept her hoof to her mouth in shock.

“Geeze ah… ah don’t know what tah say. Ah coulda made yah somethin, all yah'd have tah do was ask…” She whispered.

I let out a yawn and looked to the field, but with my only moonlight to light the way, it was hard to see the saplings I had planted.

“Well… the wagons are all planted so I guess we’re winning.” I stated and she raised an eyebrow.

“Whatta yah mean ‘The wagons are all planted’?” She asked and I pointed the empty wagon nearby.

“I planted the three wagons you had loaded up. Unless you had some hidden away somewhere that I didn’t know about…” I trailed off but my statement had left her confused.

“How… many wagons of saplings did yah plant?” She asked and I shrugged.

“Three…” I stated as if it wasn’t a big deal. Technically it wasn’t, back when I was working with CFB Borden Roads and Grounds, we planted more than that a day.

“Yah planted… all the other wagons… jeeze that’s three days’ worth a work!” She gasped. I was about to ask how the hell she had come up with the answer but then looked down to her hooves, then to my hands.

I walked over to a planted sapling and dug it up before handing it to Applejack who looked at me with curiosity. “Plant that.” I said and she gave me a weird look. “Can you just… I’d like to see something.” I said. I knelt down beside her and watched as she dug a hole with her hoof then set the sapling in.

However, steadying the small tree and packing down the dirt with hooves was obviously harder than it was with hands. What took me mere seconds, took her a noticeably longer time.

We both stood up and I nodded before reaching into my pocket and pulling out my engagement ring. As I slipped it on, Applejack looked at my ring. “What’s that?” She asked.

I followed her gaze and chuckled. “Oh just my engagement ring… you know, you’re the first one to really notice.” I stated and she gasped.

“Yer… married?” She gasped and I burst into laughter. She raised an eyebrow and watched me with uncertainty.

“Oh hell no… I was just browsing through jewelry one day back on my world and wanted to buy something. I really wanted a bridal ring but my mom forbid me from buying it, even though it was my money. Anyway, I ended up with this stainless steel ring with a synthetic black diamond… cool huh?” I said as I rubbed the ring.

“So yer not actually married?” She asked and I shook my head. “So why’d yah call it an engagement ring?” She asked and I shrugged.

“Because it’s classed as an engagement ring and it’s on my wedding ring finger.” I told her. She scratched her forehead then looked to her left fore-hoof.

“So that finger is like a pony’s wedding ring hoof?” She asked and I shrugged.

“Sure… I guess so…” I was cut off by a clanking sound in the distance followed by some streaking lights. “What the…” I was then cut off by Applejack.

“Oh… not these good fer nothin’s…” She muttered before a train looking thing stopped in front of us. Two male ponies hopped off and began to dance around while singing a rant about fruit and apple juice and profit.

“So whatta yah say stranger?” The one with the moustache asked as he poked me in the ribs with his elbow. I looked down to him with an expressionless look. He gulped as he realized just how big I was compared to him.

“Or uhm… maybe not… hee-hee…” He laughed cautiously.

“Alright yah good fer nothin’s, get gone!” Applejack scowled. As the trio began to argue, I looked in curiosity to their train contraption. The arguing began to interrupt my thoughts.

“Hey…” I muttered rather quietly but they continued to argue. I rolled my eyes. “Hey.” I said louder but still they didn’t hear me. “Hey!” I said sternly, but this time they must’ve ignored me because they kept arguing.

I rolled my eyes with anger. “HEY!” I roared and they all quickly became quiet. I smiled, “This… train thing… what does it run on?” I asked. They all let out a relieved sigh as they realized I wasn’t actually angry.

“Steam or magic powered.” The one without a mustache answered.

“Fucking cock sucker.” I hissed to myself. The two gulped and the mustached one asked me a question.

“Why? Is there… something you need?” He asked rather cautiously, trying his hardest not to anger me.

“Yeah… diesel. More or less, D1 or D2 diesel.” I muttered in defeat.

“Oh… like automotive diesel?!” One asked in excitement. I looked over with a hinting smile creeping across my face.

“You just read my mind.” I stated. Both of them got widening grins across their faces as they looked to each other. Applejack grabbed my shoulder and pulled me down towards her face so she could whisper into my ear.

“Don’t trust these two. They’ll rob yah blind.” Applejack whispered to me. I shrugged, ‘How would these two rob me blind on diesel?’ I thought. I mean, they weren’t the fuel company owners… were they?

The duo began an erratic dance as they sang about all the great things about fossil fuels. I smiled. “I’m in, just let me get my truck.” I told them. Applejack stood to her hindlegs and rested her hoof on my shoulder with a sigh.

“Ah can’t tell yah how tah spend yer money but ah can’t deny yah yer pay either… ‘specially with how hard yah worked.” She said as she handed over a large pouch of what I could only presume to be currency. “There’s a hundred ‘n fifty bits in there… seein as how yah worked three days’ worth a work…” She said in a genuine tone.

I smiled and nodded. “I’ll be comin back tah work tomorrow… if you want.” I said and she snickered. “What?” I asked curiously.

“Yah said ‘tah’… Ah might be makin an impact on yer speech.” She laughed. I nodded as I mounted the duo’s train. “Just don’t let em rob yah blind.” Applejack told me as we began to depart.

An hour or so passed and it was nearing midnight. The three of us stood at a diesel pump as I pumped fuel into my truck. ‘Sweet gig! Not only did I make a killing at work, I found somepony… ponies, who can get me fuel for my truck!’ I thought to myself. Half a tank of fuel in my truck cost around $30 back on my world so generally speaking, hopefully it would be the same here.

We were in an empty loading yard and a white mist covered the pavement from view. The loading yard looked like it might've been part of some locomotive station or something. A few street lamps were scattered about, somewhat illuminating the area with an orangey shade.

I finished pumping up the truck with diesel and looked to Flim and Flam, or at least that’s what they stated their names were. Flim wrote something down. “So 38 liters of fuel… that’ll be… five hundred bits…” Flim said casually as he did some calculating.

I laughed. “Alright, ha-ha… funny. Seriously though, what do I owe you?” I asked and he looked to me with an unwavering look.

“Five hundred bits…” He stated, almost wondering if he had stuttered earlier. I laughed again but he stated the exact same phrase. My expression became blank.

“You’re fucking with me right?” I asked but then came to a realization. This world was really pristine so perhaps they didn’t like the use of fossil fuels… but that wouldn’t make sense because they used coal powered trains.

“No… you owe us five hundred bits… no more, and not a bit less.” Flam stated firmly.

My expression became blunt. I didn’t have that kind of money. Applejack’s warning played through my head again. These bastards were trying to swindle me. “Alright… quit fucking around… seriously how much do I fucking owe you? And don’t try to fucking rob me.” I stated. The two gulped as my voice deepened.

“Well… uhm… we… we-e-e… uhm… that is to say that… well you-u-u… you see… uhm… what?” They both asked in unison. They looked to each other then back to me. “HE DID IT!” They both cried out, pointing to the other then cowering to the ground, holding their hooves over their heads and weeping loudly.

I looked around with raised eyebrows. ‘Seriously? These guys are supposed to be swindlers yet at the first sign of trouble they start crying.’ I thought to myself. I felt bad for getting harsh like that and felt a hint of guilt.

I grabbed the both of them by the backs of their shirts before lifting them of the ground, one in each hand. I leveled their eyes with mine and spoke calmly. “Listen… you guys are saving my ass by selling me fuel… just name a reasonable price and I’ll pay it. Just don’t bend me over and rape me in the process alright?” I told them. They both nodded and I set them down.

“How does… sixty bits sound?” Flim asked cautiously, as if his actions might result in his death.

“Yeah sure… okay for the record I wasn’t going to hurt you guys.” I told them. They both let out a relieved exhale and wiped sweat from their brows. I opened the passenger side door and reached into the back.

I grabbed the bag of bits off the floor. The bits were resting beside a small suitcase that was labelled ‘Belladonna’. I was going to name her ‘Atropa Belladonna’ but that was just too long.

I closed the door behind me and handed the duo sixty bits. “Alright… hey listen, you two just saved my ass… I don’t know what I would’ve done if you guys hadn’t shown me that there was diesel in this world. I know that I paid you, but I feel that I kinda owe you guys. If you ever need help just give me a ring… just don’t have me swindle ponies or anything.” I told them. They nodded as I began proceeding to the driver side door.

I looked back to the duo and thought to myself. “Hey guys…” I called out and they stopped for a moment. I heard them gulp before slowly turning to look at me. “Does this mean we’re friends?” I asked. They looked to each other, then back to me and nodded. A lingering smile crept across my face as I pulled out a pen and paper.

‘Dear Princess Sparkles,

Today I learnted that I should listen to others more often because sometimes they know more about something than I do, even if I want to believe that I know more. But sometimes, not listening to that pony leads to a situation that eventually blossoms into a very important friendship.

Your unconditional student,

Burdy’

Author's Notes:

When I say to someone my age (I'm 18) "I pre-ordered GTA V" and they reply with "Oh yeah, my mom pre-ordered it for me" I just look at them like