How do you start a story? Something I probably should've thought about before I tried this but I'll just wing it, how's that sound? Actually there is one thing we should do first. Before I start this story there is something you should know. My name is Evan Burdick. Yeah, yeah I know, my name has the word 'Dick' in it. That's friggin hilarious, I know, but laugh it up now because it gets old quick.

I'm a white Caucasian male that stands at 6'2" tall. I'm rather large and most people describe me as "Built like a brick shithouse." I don't know why but some people just plain out won't talk to me because they think I'm some mean guy that just breaks stuff all the time because I'm mad. I'm not mad, just clumsy and I tend to swear because I just broke something that's probably important.

You know... just because I have academic grades doesn't make me smart, quite the opposite. Maybe I'm just lucky... maybe the opposite, I dunno. I'm quite dumb actually. Maybe not stupid, but dumb... yeah there's a difference. Sometimes I just can't understand what people are trying to tell me. They hide what they're trying to say under a bunch of fancy words. Just... keep that in mind while I tell this story.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat my life either, try to make myself look like a hero to you. I ain't a good person. Maybe not a terrible person, but definitely not a good person. Stuff just... tends not to go my way. I do things without thinking and it just doesn't go my way, that's all.

I was only 18... 17? Maybe 19... I dunno, I was young and my life was just coming together before all this happened. I had a beautiful truck that I called Cadance. A wonderful collection of guns I had funded myself. I was physically healthy, fit, built... ahhh, those were the days. Anyway back to starting a story... well let's just start off when I ended up in Equestria and all this began...

Author's Notes:

So for those of you who are in it for the sex scenes or the 'clop' I'll put a warning (Or a notice) at the beginning of chapters with 'explicit' scenes.