Ask the Swapped Ponies!

Round Fourteen: Black Milk

Spoilers Up To Chapter 19

Question 1: BadWolf9510 States:

Chun an Ridire,

Cé chomh fada is a cheapann tú gur féidir leat mheabhlaireachta na capaillíní? Agus nach bhfuil mé ag caint faoi na "babhtála".

Lero is in the kitchen of Golden Oaks Library.

Once again, the sound of the Messenger’s voice -- or more specifically, the Messenger’s bizarre language -- affects Lero.  He squeezes his eyes shut.  His eyes reopen.  And again, he begins acting ‘not-himself.’  

LERO

(flippantly, mock-delight)

Tá a fhios agat mar gheall ar an Babhtáil? Sin iontach! Conas a fuair tú ina luí Discord a chur san áireamh tú ar a liosta? An bhfuil aon léargas, maidir leis an leigheas a lorg againn? Cuidíonn gach giotán! Fluttershy riachtanais a insint scéalta grinn go maith. Conas ba chóir dom dul faoi sin? Applejack riachtanais chun tús a dhéanamh éadaí maith. Cad is féidir liom a dhéanamh chun spreagadh di? Ba bhreá liom a chloisteáil cad a bheadh ​​an bhean uasal comhairle a thabhairt faoi mo fadhbanna!

From the kitchen, Lero proceeds towards his OLD house, the one which Twilight attached to her library when she accepted him as her herdmate, years ago.  

HER LADYSHIP’S MESSENGER

Cé chomh fada agus is féidir leat iad a choinneáil as a fhios agam an fíor duit?

LERO

(curtly)

"An fíor dom?" Tá sé cibé duine shocraíonn mé mé.

He re-enters his old bedroom.  From here, Lero hunts through his room, searching for some long-forgotten item.

HER LADYSHIP’S MESSENGER

Is é Bellerophon an masc léiríonn tú iad.

LERO

(furious)

“Masc?!”  MASC?!

Lero’s search takes on an angry, violent quality.

LERO

(yelling in anger)

Is é Bellerophon an fear maith a bhí mé ar ais ar an Domhan!  Is Bellerophon rud ghoid tú ó dom i láthair na huaire gcruthófar mé mé féin a bheith duine éigin a bhfuil a saol a bhí fiú a chaomhnú!  Mo ainm!  Mo cuimhní!  Mo mhoráltacht!  Agus bhí sé le fada, próiseas mall, freisin!  

He’s ripping drawers straight out of his dressers, flings things off his shelves, and upends his bed.

LERO

Ach fuair mé é go léir ar ais sa deireadh. Agus am SEO, ní bheidh mé in iúl aon cheann de dó dul!  Níl mé chomh lag mar a bhí mé uair amháin!

HER LADYSHIP’S MESSENGER

Chuala mé na scéalta, na scéalta an ridire mór go mharbh gach ceann de na bagairtí is mó dár bhean uasal, ceann ar cheann.

Finally, Lero finds what he was looking for: a very normal-looking brown briefcase, like that a traveling businessman might bring on a train ride.  

LERO

(sounding delighted)

Conas is aoibhinn! Choimeád siad ag insint na scéalta faoi gach rud a rinne mé mar an Ridire? Sea, bhí sé maith an ridireacht spreagúil. Mar sin, go leor cathanna. Mar sin, go leor misean. Fuil an oiread sin agus feola.

There is a number lock combination on the side of the briefcase.  Lero spins the combo in.  

HER LADYSHIP’S MESSENGER

Chuala mé na scéalta faoi tú agus an bhean radanta bail ar fónamh tú os cionn gach duine eile.

LERO

(softer, almost wistful)

Sea, bhí an bhean uasal fíor radiant. Agus rinne mé an oiread sin as a son.

HER LADYSHIP’S MESSENGER

Agus feall tú í.

LERO

(unapologetic)

Is oth liom rud ar bith. Bhí sí fealltach. Tuillte sí chun a feall.

Click!  He opens the briefcase.  Inside:  the disgusting, threadbare rags of a once-white shirt, denim blue jeans, tennis shoes, white socks, and a set of briefs. 

The very clothes he’d been wearing when he’d first arrived in Equestria.  

He searches through the pockets of his jeans.  

HER LADYSHIP’S MESSENGER

Cé chomh fada agus go dtí go tú iad a thréigean freisin?

LERO

(in English, while sneering)

Oh, ye of little faith!

At last, Lero’s found what he’s really been looking for: a glass container filled with milky tar-colored liquid.  It looks like an extra-wide test tube.  

Lero pops the stopper off and drinks nine-tenths of its contents.  Seconds later, he vomits into his mouth... but swallows it back down.  

He coughs.  He gasps.  He is his old self again.  

He watches the remaining tenth of black liquid self-replenish; filling right back up to the volume it had been at originally.  

Words have been scratched deep into the glass of the tube.   Lero puts the stopper back on, then holds the tube horizontally to read what the words say:

YES, THE BLACK MILK TASTES EXTREMELY VILE.

Lero spins the test tube so he can read the next line.

BUT REMEMBER:  

Lero spins to the next line.

DRINKING IT HELPS REPEL THE LADY AND HER MINIONS.  

Lero spins the tube again.

SO DRINK.  AND DO NOT VOMIT.  

Lero spins the tube once more to read the final line.

ALWAYS LEAVE ENOUGH SO IT MAY REPLENISH ITSELF.

Question 2: Felyon Asks:

Dear Angel.

I can imagine how unpleasant the Stare must be, but Rainbow does provide shelter and food without asking anything in return. Is love not about giving and receiving?

An extra-large length of paper has been laid out upon the floor.  A VERY strung-out Angel Bunny takes a pencil in his mouth, and writes on the paper.  Hard though it is to read, his message says this:  

ANGEL BUNNY

STARE DIFFERENT NOW.

NEW STARE NOT LIKE OLD STARE.

OLD STARE QUICK-FREEZE.

NEW STARE DIFFERENT.

SEE MAMA NEW STARE?

YOU WANT RUN.

RUN AND NO EVER STOP.

BUT RUN FROM MAMA SUPER BAD IDEA.

NO MATTER WHERE RUN

NO MATTER WHERE FLY

NO MATTER HOW DEEP DIG DOWN

SHE FIND YOU.

SHE MIND-SMELL YOU!

SMELL WHERE YOU BE WITH MIND!

SHE BRING YOU BACK HOME.

O. B. E. D. I. E. N. C. E.

MAMA SUPER MAMA.

MAMA GIVE FOOD.

MAMA SHARE HOME.  

MAMA STRONG!

MAMA SUPER STRONG!

MAMA SUPER SUPER STRONG!

MAMA NO LET ANIMALS EVER FORGET SHE ALPHA FEMALE!

WHO ALPHA MALE?  WHO NEW PAPA?

BULL VOICE FROM VOICE BOX!

HURT MAMA NOW?  NO OBEY NOW?

SUPER O. B. E. D. I. E. N. C. E.

SHE GIVE HOME!  SHE GIVE FOOD!

WE BE GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS!

ANIMALS WERE MEANT TO OBEY!

OBEDIENCE IS NOW THE ONLY WAY!

Question 3: Zer0prototype Asks:

Dear Doctor,

What did you think of Lero wearing a copy of your old threads?

THE DOCTOR

At first, I worried my human friend had reached a DANGEROUS level of fanboy-ism.  You know, the creepy type where they start breaking into your house for souvenirs.  So I immediately went back home but the old Technicolor Nightmare was right at where I’d left it aboard the TARDIS.  I only still keep it out of nostalgia... I mean, my Sixth Incarnation wasn’t ALL bad, after all!  

He chuckles.

THE DOCTOR

Poor Peri, what a saint...

(normal speaking voice)

Anyway, I next assumed that Lero had custom-ordered it from Applejack, but when I spoke to the girl, she told me how it come from her ‘muse,‘ and she had no idea what she was making while she was making it.  Much like the Technicolor Nightmare’s original tailor!    

There’s the sound of a rimshot behind the Doctor, and he turns and smiles at Dinky Doo, who is sitting behind a set of drums.  

THE DOCTOR

Anyway, when all's said and done, I have two thoughts on Lero wearing my Sixth Self’s getup.  Thought #1:  My guess is that the Swap, itself, is getting a wee bit irritated with Mr. Michealides’ intrusion into its affairs.  So it compelled poor Applejack to fashion a copy of the worst garment in the universe, this side of Lady Gaga’s wardrobe, as a form of petty affairs.  Only it backfired because it turned out Lero’s a fan of mine.  Thought #2:  I’m glad SOMEBODY likes it!  

Question 4: SpinelStride Asks:

Dear Doctor,

Were some of your regenerations colorblind?

The Doctor rolls his eyes.

THE DOCTOR

If this is yet another clever jab at what my Sixth Self liked to wear... well, what can I say?  I’m pretty sure that ALL of us have gone through that embarrassing phase in our lives where our fashion sense goes all wonky.  But assuming you’re asking that question in earnest: no, none of my regenerations were colorblind, thank heavens.  Not even Number Six.  Six was just plain tasteless... I mean, even someone who could only see in MONOCHROME, would at least know better than to wear something so patchy!  Although my Eighth Self DID end up developing mild astigmatism.  True story.  But I didn’t let it impede me in my adventuring.  

Question 5: SpinelStride Asks:

Dear Lero,

I heard about one of those guys who got brain damage and lost his ability to feel emotions. I hear that in his case, things worked out for the best anyhow. Did you ever meet him?

Lero’s face lights up in fond remembrance.

LERO

Ah... good old Gus!  Yes, I met him, and I’m glad I did!  What a pleasure it was having him around!  He was just so smart, and it was so cool being able to speak to another human being, and he was just fun to talk to him!  There’s a part of me that’s still a little sorry he ended up returning to Earth!  

Lero comes up closer towards the readers.

LERO

Hey, all you guys out there... you wouldn’t happen to know what ended up happening to Gus?  Did he arrive home safe?  Is he living a good life?  Are things better for him?  Has he mentioned anything about me or the rest of us here in Equestria?  I’d love to know!  And if you do see him, please tell him we all wish him the best!  

Question 6: FanOfMostEverything Asks:

Dear Pinkie:

What’s your favorite rodeo event?

PINKIE PIE

Well, when it comes ta the best part a’ rodeos, it’s a bit of a tossup fer me.  It’s like... half of me really enjoys barrel racing... it’s real intense weavin‘ yer way round the barrels fast as yew can!  Really gets the blood pumpin’, and Ah always participate innit!  But the other half of me... well, this ain’t so much an ‘event’ in ‘n’ of itself, but the other half of me’s ALWAYS liked rodeo clowns!  Ah ain’t ever been one ‘a them fillies that got all scared a’ clowns... there’s ALWAYS been a soft spot ‘n’ mah heart fer ponies that try ta be silly ‘n’ make others laugh!

Then a weird, almost glazed, look enters Pinkie’s eyes.

PINKIE PIE

Ah oughta think ‘bout volunteerin’ ta be a clown, at the next rodeo.  Sumthin’ tells me Ah’d be... pretty good at it...

And Pinkie leaves, her head in a fog of thoughts.

Question 7: SpinelStride Asks:

Dear Pinkie Pie,

What are all your friends like when they get drunk? If there are any you haven't yet seen drunk, please conduct the experiment and then report the results.

Pinkie Pie is in her barn.  It looks as though a party took place here, and she’s helping clean it up.  

PINKIE PIE

Weeeeeelp, lemme see... when Twilight Sparkle gets drunk she becomes a real philosopher.  Like, 100 times more so than usual.   Really rambly one, too.  Ah once spent three quarters of an hour listenin’ ta her gab about stuff like “If we’d all been given different names, would we’ve grown up to be different ponies?” and “Does the number 2 actually exists?” and all Ah got outta it was that Twilight needed ta read a bit less.

She collects empty mugs and dirty dishes from the tables and places them on trays.

PINKIE PIE

Rarity... well, here’s the thang, before Lero came inta the picture, when Rarity got real drunk at a party, somepony was guaranteed ta go home lucky.  She’d go around hittin’ on other ponies until she found one just as drunk ‘n’ frisky as she was, and they’d head off fer a one-night stand.  Kinda embarrassin’ ta watch, frankly.  But after Lero came ‘n’ started wearin’ her flower... she’d get drunk and LERO was guaranteed ta go home lucky.  Then later, Twilight ‘n’ Lyra too.  

(sighs)

Gotta hand it ta her: Miss Gets-Around don’t even LOOK outside her herd no more, since findin’ her prince.

(snorts)

But that don’t make it any less embarrassin’, watchin’ ‘er git frisky.

Big Macintosh comes in.  With amazing steadiness and delicacy, he takes one of the trays -- balancing it atop his head -- and heads towards the farmhouse for the mugs to be washed.  

PINKIE PIE

Applejack’s pretty much yer textbook-case “sad drunk.”  Put enough hooch in ‘er, and ya get ta hear her moanin’ and groanin’ about all the opportunities she missed, everythang she SHOULD’VE dun with ‘er life, how she’ll jest amount to a flash ‘n’ the pan, and she’s not really a good pony deep down... blah de blah blah...

She begins sweeping.  

PINKIE PIE

When Lyra gits sloshed... well, when she ‘n’ Rarity aren’t feelin’ each other up, Lyra gits surprisingly COMPETITIVE.  Mostly, drinkin’ contests, but she’s does other stuff, like singing contests, dancin’ contests, food-throwin’ contests... Ah remember there was this one time this other mare approached Lyra, both drunk as skunks, and she challenged Lyra to a fight, ‘cuz she wanted ta throw down with a Still Way grandmaster.  So Lyra... Lyra jest sat the mare down and talked her problems out.  Ended up helpin’ her a lot.

There’s a stubborn stain on the floor: Pinkie has to put in extra effort to scrub it out.  

PINKIE PIE

Fluttershy... she’s the life of the party.  She dances.  She sings.  She karaokes when there’s a karaoke.  She’s like  ‘er usual self, but with less hoof-ta-eye coordination.  

Pinkie stops cleaning and takes a breath.  

PINKIE PIE

Lero... if AJ’s the ‘sad drunk,’ then Lero’s the ‘happy drunk.’  Nice ta be around, as far as drunks go, fun ta listen to, fun ta talk to, a lot like mah brother when HE gets drunk.  More times than not, those two stallions git drunk together!  That’s when ya gotta keep ‘n eye on ‘em, together, the two a’ them git IDEAS.  

There’s a bottle of whiskey on one of the tables.  Pinkie grabs it.

PINKIE PIE

As for Rainbow Dash?  She’s the only one Ah ain’t seen drunk, cuz she don’t drink... but today, we’ll do the experiment yew wanted done, and find out what she’s like when plastered.  

She heads outside.  Discord is with Rainbow Dash; his body coiled around her like a snake, staring straight into her eyes, hypnotizing her.  

DISCORD

(hypnotically)

Booze gives you a better perspective on life, alcohol makes you feel wonderful, you’ve been missing out on a good thing all this time, you deserve to have some fun...

Back when they had been enemies, Discord’s mind-warping had desaturated the color of Rainbow Dash’s body, turning it grey as her heart turned nasty and spiteful.  

Something similar to that is happening now, but instead of grey, Dash’s body takes on the amber shade of beer or brandy.  

Discord backs away.  Rainbow Dash turns around towards Pinkie Pie, licking her chops at the sight of the whiskey bottle she’s holding.  

RAINBOW DASH

Hey, Pinkie Pie?  

PINKIE PIE

Yeah, Dashie?

RAINBOW DASH

I’m feeling might thirsty...

TEN MINUTES LATER

As though shot from a cannon, a grinning, amber-colored Rainbow Dash rockets through the barn’s roof; one forehoof outstretched like a superhero in flight.  A screaming Pinkie Pie has wrapped herself around Dash’s neck, holding on for dear life.  

RAINBOW DASH

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!!!

Question 8: Feylon Asks:

Dear Twilight:

"How is your research in pony / human reproduction going? I know it's not a priority right now, but all that research about body- and mind swaps should have some parallels, right?

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Parallels?  I’m sorry, I’m not quite following you...

FEYLON

With the number of different sentient species in your society, your situation should have precedents.

This sparks an idea in Twilight.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Now that you mention it... I do remember reading about this unicorn mare who married a griffin!  She turned herself into a griffin so she could be the mother of his chicks!

FEYLON

If turning him in to a stallion won’t work, what about a dragon?

Twilight gives it some thought.  

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Well... anything’s worth trying once!

FEYLON

I'm sure Spike will be happy to have a drake pal.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Yeah!

Weeks have now passed.  Herd Bellerophon is up upon a mountaintop.  The place looks like a lot of fires have burnt themselves out, up here.  They are all seated, catching their breath.  It’s been a long climb up!

LERO

(huffing and puffing)

So... here we are.

He takes a drink of water from a water bottle.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Yes.  We’ve reached our destination.

She looks around the place.

LERO

A dormant volcano.  

RARITY

Not the sort of place a girl expects to spend heat season.  

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Well according to my research, dragons in love would find a place like this incredibly romantic.  

LERO

A place like this?  Why?

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

It’s said dragon lovers have a tradition of digging the magma out of this volcano and bathe together in it as they make love.  

LERO

I... think we ought to pass on that for now, don’t you, girls?

LYRA

Yeah.

RARITY

Quite.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Well then, let’s get down to business!  Who’d like to be a dragon first?

There is a hesitant pause among the herdmates.  

RARITY


Me.  I’ll do it.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

That’s awfully brave of you!

RARITY

What can I say?  I really want to be the mother of Lero’s child!  And if this is the way to do it, then so be it!

LERO

(shakes his head)

Rarity, I love you to pieces, but some days, I think you may be just a LITTLE bit on the nutty side.

RARITY

I can’t quite disagree with you, there.  But love makes us all a little nutty, doesn’t it?

LERO

I guess so.

Twilight takes out a spell book, reads over a certain page, then shuts the book.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Okay!  Here goes nothing!

Twilight casts the spell.  Magical light engulfs Rarity, transforming the unicorn into a fully grown DRAGON.  

Rarity the dragon has white scales and purple spines.  A single horn curves out from the center of her forehead, but longer, and curved like a saber.  She’s GIGANTIC.

And unbelievably, she still has Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark in her new dragon form.    

RARITY

Oh!  Oh, MY!

LYRA

(calling up from down below)

How do you feel?

RARITY

Very, very large!

She spins around in a circle, getting used to her new dragon limbs, stretching out a pair of wings at her back.

RARITY

Wings!  I have wings!  What a wonderful transformation this is!

Rarity then studies her new clawed dragon hands.

RARITY

Fingers too!  So these are what fingers feel like!

She bends them, clenches them, then looks down to her herdmates.  

RARITY

Lyra, would you be a dear and dump all those emeralds we brought onto the ground?  I want to try picking something up with my new fingers!

Lyra does so: removing her saddlebags, and shaking out a number of large emeralds.

With the awkwardness of a lady eating with chopsticks for the very first time, Rarity takes an emerald.  Instead of picking it up between her forefinger and thumb, she picks the gem up using her ring finger and middle finger.  

She brings it to her mouth and eats it.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

So how DOES it taste?  

RARITY

Ohhh... so yummy...

She helps herself to another emerald.  It crunches loudly in her powerful new jaws.

RARITY

Mmmm... I could eat these all day!  They’re like fruit!  They’re like rock candy!  They’re like fruity rock candy!  But at the same time, they’re unlike any fruit I’ve ever tasted!  All I know for sure is that they’re sweet!

She reaches for a third.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Hey!  Save some for the rest of us, why don’t you?  Some of us may want to turn ourselves into dragons after you!

RARITY

Oh!  I’m sorry, my loves, it’s just so hard not to be greedy in this new form.  

Then she spots Lero.  Smiling, she picks the surprised human up,  (between her middle and ring finger again) by the center of his body.  Dropping him into the palm of her other hand, she holds him up to her eye level.  

RARITY

(adoringly)

LOOK at you!  Oh, just LOOK at you, my prince!  You’re just ADORABLE at this size!

LERO

(nervous, beginning to sweat)

C-careful with me, Rarity!  You’re WAY bigger than me now, and you’re not used to having hands!  I don’t think you know your own strength.

RARITY

Mmm... I could just... EAT you RIGHT UP!

Her teeth are like rows of swords.  

LERO

(REALLY sweating)

T-tell me you don’t mean that literally!  Please!  

RARITY

Ohhh, you know I’d never bite you...

She strokes his head with the side of her very large and clawed pinky finger.

RARITY.

(big spiky grin)

...TOO hard!  

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

That’s enough of that, Rarity!  Making you a dragon is only half the job done... we need to transform Lero, too!  Set him down so he can undress.

Rarity returns Lero to the ground.  

LERO

(beginning to strip)

Why do I always let you girls talk me into stuff like this?

RARITY

Hold on... before you change him... give me a chance to try out my wings, too!  I want to fly!

And she takes to the air.

Meanwhile, back at Golden Oaks Library, Spike is gazing out Twilight’s telescope, looking in the direction of the dormant volcano the rest of his herd’s at.  Suddenly, he spots Rarity the Dragon, twirling through the sky.  He recognizes her, especially, by the cutie mark she has.

SPIKE

(smitten anew)

Ohhhhh, Rarity, you’re even LOVELIER than before!  So graceful!  So nimble in the air!  Such a dazzling shimmer to your scales!  Your draconic beauty is beyond compare!

Back at the dormant volcano... Rarity lands back on earth.

RARITY

That was INVIGORATING!

LERO

(now naked)

How is it you could fly so well with your new wings?!

RARITY

Oh, my love, this is hardly the FIRST time I’ve been given magical wings!  And it comes naturally to me: unicorn though I am, I was MADE to fly!

LERO

(regarding her cutie mark)

I suppose so.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Now it’s your turn, Lero!

Her horn flares.

Returning back to Golden Oaks, Spike is once again staring through his telescope... and he sees something that causes his heart to break.  A second dragon flies up in the air next to Rarity.  He’s male, and his scales are the same color as Lero’s hair and beard.

SPIKE

No... no... please, no...

Lero flies clumsily, but Rarity demonstrates the right way to fly, and soon, they’re joyfully spinning figure-eights around each other in the air.

SPIKE

(bawling)

IT’S NOT FAIR!  IT’S NOT FAIR!  IT’S NOT FAIR!  IT’S JUST NOT FAIR!!!!!!!

He rolls up into a ball on the floor.

SPIKE

(through his tears)

Twilight... cast a spell!  Cast a spell for me and make it all fair!

ONE WEEK LATER

The adults of Herd Bellerophon have returned from their journey.

RARITY

We’re home, Spike!

SPIKE

(dully)

Welcome back, guys.

TWILIGHT SPIKE

Hey, Spike!  You were right: sapphires DO taste better than topazes!  Got to find that out for myself!

SPIKE

Huh?

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

And guess what?  we brought a special surprise for you!  

Lyra levitates three dragon eggs into the house.

LYRA

Tah-dah!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Look, Spike!  It’s your new brothers and sisters!  The purple one’s mine, the greenish one’s Lyra’s, and the speckled white one’s Rarity’s!

Spike looks at all the eggs.

SPIKE

Are they going to be dragons?

RARITY

Yes, Spike, we’re pretty sure they will be!  We’ll want to look into setting up something where they can incubate properly... but isn’t this fantastic?!  We’re all going to be mothers!  Lero’s going to be a father!  And you have a big responsibility as a new older brother!

She squeals in happiness and victory and stands on her hind legs to hug Lero.  

Spike walks over to the window and stares out it.

SPIKE

A human and three mares... one of them a SWAPPED PONY... got together and produced DRAGON CHILDREN.

The young dragon looks straight upwards, now addressing God Almighty.

SPIKE

A smidgen... just a SMIDGEN of normality!  Is that REALLY too much to ask for with this family?!  HUH?!

(sighs, then smiles)

On the bright side, though, a few more dragons to talk to shouldn’t be bad at all.  Brothers and sisters, huh...?

Question 9: FanOfMostEverything Asks:

Dear Scootaloo,

Ever think of starting up a fan club for Ponyville's one and only weather unicorn?

Scootaloo is whizzing along on her scooter as she talks to us.

SCOOTALOO

Already on it!  Our club’s called “The Rare Weather Watchers,” and we’re devoted to appreciating the awesome one-of-a-kind, no-other-pony-does-what-she-does weather that Rarity brings!  These days, ponies are ALWAYS stopping by that library she lives in... why?  Not for books!  They don’t even go inside the library!  No, they stop by to gaze in awe at the weather she cooks up around her house!  

She stops her scooter close to the library, pointing at it.

SCOOTALOO

Just look for yourself, why don’t you?   Shutterbugs snapping pictures of the weather she conjures!  Artists drawing pictures of it on their easel-things!

It IS an amazing scene.  Somehow, Rarity’s built a SNOW CASTLE around the Golden Oaks Library tree.  And it’s still springtime.  And just as Scootaloo said, passers-by stop to stare in AWE and take pictures, and yes, there are even painters copying the scene onto portraits.  

SCOOTALOO

But beyond even her weather, Rarity’s just an all-around cool pony!  She’s a hero who saved the town, she’s the Element of Loyalty who’s helped save the world from Nightmare Moon and Discord and more and she’s ALWAYS really nice to me and teaches me how to handle clouds and all kinds of cool stuff!  

Then she gives a bashful sort of laugh.

SCOOTALOO

  Our membership’s not that big just yet... since I only just started the club today.  Only three members, including me.  But just you wait!  Rarity’s popularity is catching like wildfire, so our fan club’s going to grow by leaps and bounds!  

Question 10: SpinelStride Asks:

Dear Spike,

You are Best Pony. Helping out Rainbow Dash even when Lero can't bring himself to live up to his end of the bargain because you're just that kind and loyal (even taking recent events into account - and by that combination, you're still the New Rainbow Dash). Holding up like a trooper when Twilight's on an extended research bender, Lyra wasn't there, Lero was busy trying to save the town, and Rarity was thinking of you like a son, all without snapping like Lero or Twilight did, or without getting the kind of emotional support Lyra got? Yeah, that's Noble Dragon stuff right there. Anyhow! Have you been having 'bad dreams' lately that might necessitate a white-coated mare sharing her bed so you can sleep?

It’s the middle of the night.  Rarity is asleep in bed, spooned agains Lero.  

Suddenly, she feels a light poking on the side of her body.  She comes awake, flips her body over, and sees Spike, standing there, anxious and troubled.

RARITY

Spike?  What’s the matter?  

SPIKE

I... I had a really bad dream.

RARITY

A bad dream?

He looks up at her with puppy-dog eyes.  

SPIKE

Can I sleep with you tonight, Rarity?

RARITY

Of course, sweetie, of course.

She lifts Spike up with telekinesis and wraps her arms around him.  He snuggles into her chest.  

RARITY

May I ask what your bad dream was about?

SPIKE

I dreamt I became a bad, greedy awful dragon.

RARITY

You mean like that time you grew to humongous size?

SPIKE

It... might as well have been like that.

RARITY

Oh, you poor thing!

Unhappily, he nestles closer against her.

SPIKE

And the worst of it was, I ended up ruining my family because I was so greedy and shortsighted!  

RARITY

Ssh.  Ssh.  You’re not like that at all.  

SPIKE

Are you sure I’m not?

RARITY

Absolutely sure.  You do so much for us.  You’re the noblest dragon I know, and the most selfless!  Every day, I see you growing up more and more, and it fills my heart with pride.

She hugs him.

RARITY

I love you, Spike.

He pulls away from her grip, just slightly, just to look her in the eye.

SPIKE

Rarity?  Would you say that to me again?  What you just said?

RARITY

(with a wonderful smile)

I love you, Spike.  I love you with all of my heart.

It’s as though a long-held dream of Spike’s has finally been realized.  

SPIKE

I love you too, Rarity.  I... I know I don’t tell you that nearly often enough, but I love you too, with all my heart.  I always have.

He gives her a soft, quick kiss.  She kisses him back.  

Happily and lovingly, they both nestle into each other and fall back asleep.