Spike really did have to make sure he thanked Twilight at some point. She had brought up this method of conflict resolution a while back (as a joke, but he didn’t know that) and it was going to work perfectly. It had to work perfectly, or he would have the Cutie Mark Crusaders throwing eight kinds of fit all over the inside of his house.

“So, ah, Spike, why are we goin’ to the Library again?”

Scootaloo looked over with a smirk.
“And why are you still riding on Apple Bloom’s back?”

The mare beneath him blushed, and he sputtered out a response.
“It’s comfortable! And you all know I’m lazy. Right?”

Apparently that was enough to distract them, for which he was thankful. To get them away from the topic, he explained, again, exactly why they were heading there.
“OK so, everypony is always quiet inside of the library, right? Nice and calm. And that’s not just because the librarian tells them to be quiet- Libraries are innately quiet. It’s like, part of their nature or something. So if we go to the library, not only do we have books and stuff to reference, and chairs and snacks and all that, but it’s calmer. Categorically quieter!”

Sweetie Belle, of all of them, looked unsure at his half-baked explanation, but they all kept trotting on anyways, so he took that as a good sign. After all, when they had still been in the woods...

----

“Aw come on! Yew two wouldn’t get off of mah case just becauz me and Spike got a -little- close lately, and then we find you making out!”

“It wasn’t making out! Just one kiss, I swear that’s all it was!”

Off to the side, Sweetie looked a bit hurt by the denial, and Scootaloo started to backpedal faster than she had ever pedaled her scooter.
“Well, uh, I mean... That’s all it was -at that time-. Like, we had just gotten started!”

Apple Bloom stomped.
“And that’s better!?”

Scootaloo thought back to the recent kiss and then broke out in a wide grin.
“Yeah!”

If he wanted to fix this argument, Spike had to come up with something fast. Some way to make them all quiet, a calm setting where he could defuse things. And if older mares were any indication (even if those arguments were more about his failing to dust on time) then he could defuse things with food. Quiet, a kitchen, calm setting... Oh!

----

...And that led them back into town and to the Library, where he quickly let them all inside. A sigh of relief escaped. OK, now we’re in a nice calm environment. I can finally relax and...

His optimistic thoughts were interrupted as he slammed into the floor, thrown off of Applebloom as all of the Crusaders began quickly rushing around the Library’s ground floor. Apparently when he wasn’t paying attention, one of them had suggested they try to get “Stealth Librarian” Cutie Marks, so now they were trying-- emphasis on trying-- to work on that. Given that they barely knew what being a librarian entailed, much less a so-called ‘stealth’ one (Scootaloo apparently thought it involved ninja garb), their progress was the same as any other cutie mark attempt: Loud, riotous, chaotic, and completely counter-productive.

None of that was going to change unless Spike stepped in. So he leaned forward and... Tapped Apple Bloom on the shoulder with one claw. She immediately stopped and spun, recognizing the sensation of that pointy impact.
“Yeah?”

“Maybe we should actually do what we were planning on doing, huh? Sitting down and discussing this whole thing.”

“R-right, yeah, sure!”

Eventually they got Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo to stop as well, putting the ninja costume back where it belonged. Characteristically, he never questioned why Twilight owned a ninja costume. With that bit of organization finished, they all sat down.

Silently.

None of them seemed willing to make the first statement, and so they were all dead quiet (See, the library works! said an over-enthusiastic bit of his brain) and simply sat there. This calm albeit unproductive status quo lasted all of two minutes before a bored Scootaloo rushed to her hooves and began nosing (literally) around the shelves.

“Uuugh, Twilight has to keep something cool around here! I’d even go for a board game at this point.”

Spike didn’t realize exactly which shelves she was investigating until it was too late. She nuzzled the panel hidden in the woodwork next to the basement laboratory entrance. With a rough crackle, the magical battery stored in the wall hummed to life and Twilight’s recorded voice came out.

“Hello! Is that me?”

Scootaloo stared at it, and Spike began backing away in fear for the second time that day.
“Uh, what?”

“I apologize, potential-me, but ”Uh, what?” is not a recognized passphrase. Please let Spike know to reload the tree sap in Reservoir #19 later. Deploying defensive spray!”

A clear sheet slammed down in front of every bookshelf, the table rotated into the floor, and then... the nozzles.

“Not again.”

--------

It had been, roughly speaking, one thousand and two years, six months and seventeen days since she had lost her sister. In the time before that, she had seen Luna of the Moon in quite a few preposterous situations, as well as some amazing ones. Nothing allowed one to get up to mischief quite like being the embodied spirit of the night itself, after all. But currently, this was only the... Seventh time, if she remembered correctly, that she had seen her sister like this.

Dazed. Exhausted. Fulfilled. Lying prostrate on her back with a contented smile, her entire muzzle covered in thick, ropey strings of yellow-white fluid.

Celestia smiled and poked her sister.
“Enjoying the custard, hmm?”

Luna rolled over with a groan and got slowly to her hooves.
“The next time thou sets eyes upon Pinkie Pie, please inform her that it would be prudent to reject her latest idea.”

“...And what was her latest idea?”

The party pony herself popped from behind the counter, peerless smile at the ready.
“Oh, I figured that those boring old Trotston Creme donuts needed a little improvement so I thought it would be really fun if I took some of the seltzer and the old machines in the back and pressurized them so I could get more yummy cream, or, uh, creme, in every one! And it totally worked~!”

The pastry-stuffed Princess shot her a foul glance.
“Except for the part where it exploded upon my muzzle, stunning me long enough that my dear sister came in to see me in a state of culinary distress.”

“Well, duh! It would be the first in my new line of Pranking Pastries! Just imagine the possibilities! Potentially paralyzed ponies perplexed by bang-backed baked goods! Lovely and lively living quarters suddenly serenaded by singing strudel!”

The three of them stopped to contemplate that for a moment.

“And, out of sheer curiosity, Ms. Pie, how much would it be to make sure that never comes to pass?”

“Mmmmh I dunno, it does seem like a good idea...”

Celestia shook her head.
“What about the price to make sure that you at least keep them within the boundaries of the law?”

Pinkie’s eyes went wide for a moment.
“Um... Local law, Canterlot law, or those physical ones?”

Luna, not yet used to Pinkie’s more ludicrous shenanery, coughed.
“Dost thou mean physics?”

“Yeah, those ones! I keep getting angry letters from Twilight every time I so much as think of baking Cakethulhu again, although I don’t even tell her ahead of time, so... Wait, I’m getting off track!”

“Let’s just say all three of them, then.”

A minute passed, and then another, before Pinkie answered.
“A brand new holiday named after me, a biiiig bakery in the middle of Canterlot Castle, like a sort of bakery-keep hybrid (or ‘keepery’), a tub of confectioner's sugar I could swim in... And a pony!”

Luna went slightly cross-eyed.
“But we are po-”

“Let’s settle on monetary compensation, please.”

The baker didn’t even skip a beat.
“Tough bargain there, Princess... Five hundred bits!”

Again, her sister spluttered.
“F-five hundred? But if the law was broken, it would be a simple matter to arrest you, and no amount of bits would help you then. Shouldn’t the law alone...”

“Luna, don’t worry about it. Pinkie Pie going through with this idea unrestricted would not be the first time something has gone catastrophically wrong in Ponyville... involving a baking oven... this season. I would much rather pay to keep her baking within the bounds of sanity than have to clean up afterwards, or miss out on what she does make.”

She levitated a rather conveniently-appearing pouch of bits over to the baker, who didn’t even count it (although she did bite the pouch, apparently finding its authenticity as fabric to be to her liking) before tossing it over her shoulder, where it never quite managed to pass her mane and hit the ground. Nonetheless, it vanished.
“Done deal! Oooh, speaking of done, I think the girls are getting out of the spa in a minute or two- Want to go meet up with them? I mean, I have to anyways, but your Royal Highnesses are totally invited too!”

Instead of risking a continued conversation by responding, Celestia just nodded and headed for the door. Luna followed, and Pinkie bounced past them humming. Her little sister looked at the baker with a mingled appearance of fear and respect.

“So, I had presumed from Twilight’s letters and our past meetings that she was quite unique, but... Always like this?”

“Very much so, yes.”

As she cleaned the custard off of her face, a grin broke out beneath.
“...This town simply keeps getting better.”

---------

Twilight Sparkle felt... refreshed. Renewed. Her weekend had been amazing, albeit the kind of stressful that was fun and exhausting all at once, and now she was finally unwinding. Just... in time... to get wound up for the night’s announcement all over again. Well, she couldn’t fault the timing: Generally, any given week in Ponyville involved falling plot-first out of one adventure and into the next. And the less often those adventures involved the (often fun in their own way) mundanities of running the town library, the better. She felt horrible every time she thought about it, but something about finding the magic of friendship had made her realize that sometimes her favorite boring activities were... legitimately boring.

Right now she didn’t have to worry about that though- After all, she could see some Very Important Ponies coming down the road. No, actually, the most important ponies. Not only were Pinkie Pie and Princess Luna chatting happily as they came down the road, but Celestia walked beside them, and it seemed like her smile was meant solely for Twilight. She shivered a little, trying to see if Fluttershy was reacting the same... Oh. She was hiding behind Rarity. Yeah, same reaction.

And from another street, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were coming at the same time, either dumb luck, Pinkie Sense, or planning she wasn’t involved with (and hopefully it wasn’t that, everypony knew how much she loved planning) bringing their entire group together at once. Whatever caused it, they were still reuniting, and certainly going to spend a nice lengthy conversation together. Oh! Maybe she could even recap the events of her weekend again. Not as thoroughly, of course, Celestia forbid (ha!) that she spill those kinds of details publicly, much less the details she refused to share. No, it was just going to be a deep, involved discourse between friends that, if written, could take paragraphs, pages, chapters to compile--

Before her semi-literary fantasy could come true, however, cold harsh reality got in the way. Dash swooped Pinkie up into her forehooves without so much as a word to anypony else, dragging the giggling mare off at speeds just shy of ruining a nearby thatched roof. Meanwhile, Applejack had whispered something to Rarity, something apparently unbelievable.

“You. Did. Not.”

“Wanna bet, Marshmallow?”
With that, (and a smirk) Applejack kissed her marefriend passionately, practically putting her tongue in the other mare’s throat (in public! (in front of me! (in front of Celestia!))) until the unicorn was like putty in her hooves.

“W... was that...”

“Mmmhmm. Ya tasted exactly what ya think ya tasted.”

Rarity looked around helplessly for a moment, and then broke into a massive grin.
“Girls, I believe I will see you all later. Princesses, my sincere apologies for my swift departure. Applejack?”

“Ayup?”

“Boutique. Bedroom. Now.”

And just like that, the other couples had fled into the distance, leaving Twilight and Fluttershy alone with their royal relationships. She looked around nervously, her plans of a massive and spontaneous reunion snuffed like so much excess candlewick.

“Ahehe... Hey! Hi. Again.”

If she had not just gotten a hooficure, she certainly would have smacked herself in the forehead hard enough to leave a dent. Back to the flustered foal stage of your relationship again, hmm Ms. Sparkle?

OK, look, I am not going to take sass from an imaginary-

Ah-ah!

Rrrrgh... I am not going to take sass from an ‘entirely real mental construct’ that I use to bounce ideas off of and occasionally berate myself, NOT right now. Are we clear... Er, um, are me clear?

That is simply atrocious grammar.

Look, talking to yourself is exempt from the rules of normal linguistics, it says so right in Strop’s Guide to Et--

“...Twilight, dear?”

Outside conversations. Right.
“Oh! I was totally listening... Not gonna buy it, are you?”

The smile Celestia gave her was one she had gotten accustomed to after long daydreaming sessions.
“Afraid not. But I fully understand. As I had been saying, do you have any preparations to get out of the way before tonight’s event? If not, Luna and I were hoping to spend some time... speaking with the two of you.”

Speaking. That... No, not going down that road of self doubt again. When she says speaking, she means speaking. There’s precedent for that! And plus, she’d be with Fluttershy as well, and Luna, her own sister! She couldn’t possibly be using the term euphemistically, which meant she either had a serious discussion planned or literally just wanted to talk. And serious discussions...

I thought you just said you weren’t going down that road again?

Hush.

--------

In a bit less than a dozen minutes, they had moved across town to the front doors of Ponyville Library, in which Twilight was vaguely sure she heard the sounds of running water. Which probably meant Spike was home, taking a bath from whatever mischief the Crusaders had gotten... him...

The door swung open noiselessly on its hinges, revealing her precious library in full Lockdown Mode. The floors and protective pyreglass sheets were coated, nay, festooned with tree sap. The only open door in the entire mess was the one leading upstairs to the bathroom, where she heard several voices underneath the splashing of water. Celestia looked around at the mess with an expression verging on surprise (but never quite making it) while Luna seemed to be looking upstairs through the floor, chuckling. Fluttershy, for her part, seemed to be asking a question.

“Hmm? What? Sorry, got sort of distracted by... this.”

“Twilight, is the Library hurt? There’s blo... sap. Sap everywhere!”

She laughed- Just like Fluttershy to worry after the health status of a plant.
“Nono, it’s fine! I just installed some security systems that spray the intruder down with... various fluids. Tree sap, for extremely minor situations, although not the least minor- Then it just sprays water. I guess Spike must have accidentally set it off! So I’m just going to head upstairs and reprimand him and hopefully nopony will follow me, OK?”

Before any of them could respond she was already dashing upstairs, wondering just what horrors were taking place. Multiple voices in the bathroom could only mean a very limited number of things, and while the most paranoid aspect of her wondered if Spike had managed to get captured by home invaders who were now bathing him (Paranoia, please stay out of the salt licks) the rest of her had a much more rational fear. After all, Spike had been spending a lot of time with the Crusaders lately. Perhaps too much time? Maybe. And given that he had been going through his (slow) natural growth spurts (not as natural as the ones his greed egged on, Twilight, you’re holding him back...) and the girls were maturing as well... No. That couldn’t be. The level of coincidence would be staggering.

Trepidatious (even in a panic you use such awesome words (thanks, me!) no problem) and nervous, she flung open the bathroom door to reveal precisely what she feared...

The Cutie Mark Crusaders, sitting contentedly in the basin of the tub as Spike combed thick gobs of tree sap out of their manes and coats with the aid of the running water. He turned his head as Twilight fell into the door a bit, off-balance from shock.

“Hey Twilight! Scootaloo accidentally tripped the tree sap nozzles, and wanted to apologize about it. Isn’t that right?”

A nervous laugh as the pegasus filly rubbed the back of her head.
“Ehehe... Sorry, Ms. Sparkle.”

She smiled, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. Nothing untoward was going on, it was simply her paranoid side getting the best of her once again.
“It’s perfectly fine. Now girls, I’m having a few guests downstairs, so please don’t be too loud or disruptive, alright? We’ll be done before the meeting tonight... Oh! And if you didn’t yet, make sure you get permission to stay up for it!”

Apparently the three of them already had, and Spike had even taken a nap during their picnic so he could stay awake. Content that everything was fine, she turned around, shut the door, and trotted back downstairs to explain everything to her mentor/lover... And clean up the remaining sap, come to think of it.

----

“Well, glad that turned out alright! I mean, it could have-”

“Spike?”

He looked back to the Crusaders-- Specifically, to Apple Bloom, who had turned to face him.
“Hmm-MMMPPH!!!?!”

He was interrupted in the middle of his sentence because, instead of the open air he expected to be talking into, there was rather a large amount of pony. Apple Bloom kissed him with passion and a lack of experience equaled only by his own. He fell backwards, unable to see what Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were doing past the farmpony’s wet mane... But he could guess.