For a little bit, Fluttershy had thought that she had just seen one of the angriest ponies possible. Rarity’s protective streak was miraculous and well-renowned, especially when it involved her little sister. And Fluttershy had, admittedly, almost exposed that very same filly to some very frank and sexual activity. She had thought that was as angry as one pony could get.

But then Twilight described the dress Rarity had given her. What started as a fairly normal description eventually became a condemnation. That then led down several twisted paths until finally the purple unicorn was shouting at their mutual friend full-force, asking why she thought it would be OK to trick her into dressing like that before royalty. Fluttershy was surely imagining the slight sparks of red and white flame she saw along the unicorn’s mane and coat as the screaming escalated. Finally, slowly, carefully, Rarity tried to explain her stance on the issue. The emphasis is on tried, because as soon as the word “seductive nature” left her lips, the yelling started again. At that point, Fluttershy was getting a little tired of it all.

“Um girls... I know that must have been very hard for you to deal with, Twilight, but... Don’t you think we’re taking a bit too much time?”

The other mare paused, in the middle of swinging a loofah through the air for dramatic impact.
“I... Alright. Yeah. And... Rarity?”

The fashionista was uncharacteristically quiet, looking a bit depressed. Obviously she hadn’t meant for her creation to be quite so... impactful.
“Yes, dear?”

“The, uh, the dress wasn’t a problem. Celestia loved it. I just... Over-reacted. I kinda had to vent.”

A bit of color returned to Rarity’s cheeks.
“Thank you, thank you very much. I... should have told you.”

The atmosphere calmed after that, albeit rather slowly. Fluttershy was just relieved that all the angry shouting had died down. Now she could really concentrate on all of the angry shouting inside of her head, as various parts of her brain tried to figure out what to do about the situation with Luna. She had tried to put off contemplating it, but it just was too difficult in the end. Eventually, with an effort of supreme will, she threw aside that particular burden and paid attention. Twilight was... describing some rather racy things, actually. Could that really be right?

“T-twilight? Did she really... Tease you that much?”

“Oh yes. I mean, by the time the actual party rolled around, we made a contest of it.”

Rarity looked over, tapping her hoof thoughtfully on the side of the tub.
“A... contest, you say. How did that work?”

“Well...”

The way Twilight described it made it seem like she had been hoping for something like this all her life. And for all Fluttershy knew, maybe she had. Loving somepony, being close to them for that long, could probably make you interested in some rather unique things. For example, a sort of inverse-race to see who could avoid their desires the longest in a huge public hall full of other ponies in which you were likely the centerpiece of half the conversations. The mere thought of that much attention, sexually-charged or not, was enough to make her whimper in fear. No, she’d probably keep her interests a bit more private and secluded, although even the inside of her own home wasn’t that private, with all the animals...

Fluttershy struggled to grasp onto the conversation again to keep that thought from sinking in.
“Um! So, well... Who won?”

“Darling! Are you really going to pressure her to tell us the details that quickly? We haven’t heard a thing about the party itself, which is simply criminal- It sounds like a lovely affair.”

Twilight shook her head.
“Um, well, it probably was. But considering the competition between us, the whole ‘newness’ of the relationship, and the food... Oh, yes I almost forgot: Given that it was a Hearts and Hooves celebration for couples and romantic groups who rarely got to be together, nearly every dish was... effective. In that manner.”

“Y-you mean...”

The unicorn was blushing deeply as she continued, refusing to make eye contact.
“It made the contest really interesting, and everything else pretty hard to remember. I know that Fancy Pants and Fleur were there, and they asked me to say hello to you-”

Rarity interrupted her friend’s message with a joyful squeal, which startled them both.
“...Ah, my apologies. You were saying?”

“And... I won. Fluttershy, your turn.”

At this point, it was almost jarring how quickly they moved from one topic to another, but she couldn’t really blame Twilight- After all, there was very little weekend left to describe, and if the contest had ended (whether it was Twilight's victory or not), then it meant they... Well, yes. It would be lying if Fluttershy said she hadn’t been looking forward to that bit, but to get there, she had to go through the trip with Lyra and Bon-Bon... Oh! If I’m going to tell her about that trip, then I can finally find out some more about ‘that’ subject!

She brushed her wing casually, pretending to remove some dust (despite her wings being totally submerged in water).
“Twilight, what do you know about... Humans?”

--------

Matte sneezed, rubbing his nose vigorously with one forehoof. Their walk had detoured around Ponyville, slowly spiraling in towards the town as indirectly as possible. It was an old trick Celestia had picked up back before the Equestrian Age really began- Nopony could honestly accuse you of going off-track if you were simply taking the most ludicrous and overblown track possible, which nine times out of ten was a wide, but narrowing, circle. Cheap yet still effective, traits she considered a virtue in nearly every aspect of her life. And while it was significantly less circuitous, Celestia had a conversational method that was just as cheap and effective, relatively speaking: Simply asking for answers.

“Well then, before we get to the town, I would like to know: What is it, precisely, that you want?”

Nickel quirked an eyebrow.
“Want? From what, or who?”

“You are a pair of humans, in Equestria. You must be here for a reason. And my experiences with your kind in the past don't leave me terribly certain of the reason itself.”

“...No comment?”

She chuckled- At this point, such a transparent dodge was nothing more but an invitation for further probing. (A sentence whose innuendo barely even registered in her head)
“Not going to fly. Try again, hmm?”

“You want the long version, or the short?”

“Let’s start short.”

Matte cleared his throat, obviously preparing for a fairly long statement.
“We wanted the hell out. End of story.”

Her deadpan expression got a chuckle out of him, although she didn’t find the situation all that funny.
“...Let’s try longer, please.”

“Pfft, worth a shot. OK, so... That’s really all there is to say. We come from a place that was pretty bad- You say you’ve dealt with humans before, but I doubt they were as bad as what we ran from. Eh, no, 'ran' is a strong word... Cut ties with. Yeah, better. Well, with ties cut and distance drawn, now we just want to... relax. We’re not here to cause problems, we don’t want anything. We’re just interested in living our lives and making things that make people happy.”

“And selling those things, love.”

He leaned over and kissed his wife’s cheek.
“Of course, dear.”

It didn’t sound like a lie to her well-trained ear or her innate magic... which was a surprise in and of itself. Celestia had expected something a bit more... Intense. Normally when a human arrived, it would be related to some massive ‘incident’, like war or resource exploitation or magical abuse. And in the extreme cases, she would make sure they neither harmed her ponies nor ever went back. But these two simply... Wanted an escape, apparently. Which left a rather pressing question in and of itself...
“Then why tell me about your nature at all?”

“You’re the Sun, a godlike deific ruler with powers far beyond those of normal citizens of your world. Traditionally? That means you see through lies pretty easily. So we figured it would be easier to cut to the chase rather than get found out.”

“Mmmh. And those are your only intentions?”

Matte made an intentionally shifty-eyed glance (which reminded her of a certain Apple family pony attempting to tell a lie), although his expression managed a layer of sarcasm behind the fake nerves.
“Eh, just making the world a better place. You probably already noticed some of the things we brought over, right?”

Celestia paused for a (very brief) moment of thought, conveniently letting a pony from town pass without hearing their conversation. Another long-cultivated skill, the ability to stop and start seamlessly like that.
“I had assumed the sudden leap in technology at Canterlot University was the work of a prodigy, as opposed to outside influence... A foolish assumption, neigh?”

“Bingo. Not a problem, we hope.”

“It was inevitable regardless. Such things have come and gone from Equestria before... Although they may last a fair bit longer this time, especially if anypony gets the bright idea to let Twilight get her hooves on a real computer.”

The three of them stopped to consider that notion, shared a simultaneous moment of pure horror, and continued on. She could worry about her student / lover’s frighteningly keen intellect later. Preferably a later measured in years.

“In that case... One last question.”

Nickel looked a bit concerned, but Matte waved it off with one hoof.
“Shoot.”

“The entities you... ‘cut ties’ with. What if they come back for you? I would be very displeased if my citizens were brought into danger by your poor choice in vacation homes and escape locations.”

“Odds are low, Your Royal Sunbutt. We mean the kind of tie cutting that involves cutting other things as well. Like any way back.”

She let the ridiculous nickname slide- Given their integral role in her newfound relationship, it would be rather harsh to vaporize him for that... Not that she had ever contemplated turning a lick of solar flame onto ponies who said things about her (completely average-sized, by scale) flank behind her back.
“I had assumed you were going to say something about cutting them.”

“Wouldn’t have stuck, trust me. Did the next best thing tho’. But that’s the past, behind us and buried in various quantities of ex-mountain. That answer your questions?”

Ah. So I’m not the only one who tends to trap her foes in massive piles of stone and rock. Defined less by our differences, and all that.
“Quite nicely. And now... I think if we continue to take this particular circuit path, we are not going to reach Ponyville before the season changes, much less nightfall. Shall we meet again at the announcement?”

“Gladly.”

It had been a bit of an effort not to ask why Nickel was so quiet, or what the precise impetus that drove them here was, but... Frankly, she would allow them their privacy. Until it had any bearing on current events, such as the upcoming announcement, Celestia would not question them. Of course, given the amount of magical power Luna’s plan would require, a unique pair like that might not be bad to keep on retainer... But she could think about allocating ponypower (manpower, in this case) later. Currently, her sister’s orders had been to enjoy her free time, and she fully intended to do so.

Given that she was in Ponyville, that meant her first stop was... Sugarcube Corner.

--------

“...And so in the end, humans are this weird anomaly. Which is to say, even though we don’t have any solid evidence, be it physical or historical, for their existence... The actual lack of evidence is very strange, almost blatantly doctored. So I guess on the whole, I know more than most, but still not that much. I do know that the topic of humans always makes a lot of ponies get a bit weird though. That, and Celestia usually laughed for like five or six minutes straight whenever I brought up the subject, so... There’s that.”

Twilight finished her ten-minute speech with a broad smile.
“Why did you ask, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy rolled her eyes- She had expected a bit of a long-winded answer, but nothing quite that bad. Well, not bad- It had been enjoyable. But certainly rough to sit through.
“Me and Luna’s next stop had been to visit Lyra and Bon-Bon’s house, and... Well, yes. I think that says everything that needs to be said.”

Both Rarity and Twilight winced, but she was quick to backpedal.
“Oh, no, it was very nice! I just... Luna was all mysterious and such afterwards, so I wanted to check and get your perspective on the issue.”

“Ah. Now you have it, I suppose! Did the visit go well apart from that?”

“Mmh. Nothing too exciting, but yes. And then we... Actually, I wonder if Rarity might want to cover this bit.”

For a moment her friend was confused, but then it became clear that she remembered. Given how much Rarity had drank that evening, Fluttershy hadn’t been sure she would.
“Of course darling! Well, Twilight, you see...”

Perhaps it was just how long they were spending in the baths (it felt like they had been in here for over a month!) but Fluttershy found it easy to drift off into a relaxed stupor as Rarity summed up their meal. For her, it had been a bit embarrassing, all told. The unicorn mare obviously had far more experience with drinking, even if not something quite so potent or unique. And Twilight even seemed to recognize the drink, suddenly laughing and nodding along when Rarity described its... effects. That was around the point she realized Rarity was going to bring up Luna’s... modifications, and it would fall on her to ask Twilight if she already knew about them... Or warn her if she didn’t.

“Um, Twilight, that reminds me. During that dinner, we found out that Luna has some, ah... She’s had some work done. Down there. Do you know if Celestia...”

The scholar quirked her head to one side, and then smiled.
“Oh, you mean the extended Regalia! Yeah, of course she does. She didn’t have it in on the weekend, but I know all about it.”

Rarity sputtered away another glass of her beverage.
“W-what?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I’ve done extensive research work on Equestrian artifice, especially the nature of magical materials like orichalcum, and a lot of the more, um, traditional art out there... depicts the whole thing.”

“...Really now?”

Twilight laughed and put a reassuring hoof on her friend’s shoulder as she got out of the tub.
“I’ll show you later, if you insist. But for now, we’ve been soaking forever. Let’s get out and dry off, alright?”

Rarity narrowed her eyes at the other unicorn.
“Waaaait. You’re trying to get out of summarizing the best part!”

An attempt at an innocent look from the well-read mare. But no matter how much she read about deception, she wasn’t terribly good at it.
“What? No! What best part?”

“Twilight. Are you legitimately telling me that you and Celestia went through that entire evening without... Well, you know? Or Fluttershy! Luna had more than enough of that lovely Sky beverage, she must have ravished you. Or vice versa! I demand the details, darlings!”

Fluttershy looked to Twilight. Twilight looked back to her. As one, they nodded, left their tubs... And proceeded to dry off and get ready to leave without saying a word. Their friend joined them, crying out in anguish and begging to hear the stories. With any luck, their resolve would hold and they could actually deny her requests. Just in case, however, they both started to hurry the process along with their wings and magic.

“But. But! Oh, this is the worst possible... Please?”

“No!”

Fluttershy paused.
“If, um, of course, that’s OK with you...”