As soon as I felt the morning wood, I knew it was time to nope out of there. And so I did.

Probably why I almost plowed into a changeling on the way downstairs.

"I should be back home..." I muttered, hastily giving Apple an apology. "Christ why am I still here?" I ended up in the kitchen, startling Papa Smith.

"...We hav' a problem." He finally said, looking at Apple. "Go an' wake the oth'rs up an' let 'em know what's goin' on."

"Aye, sir." He said with a salute, before flying upstairs. I just took a seat at the table, shaking like a crackhead when he gets high.

"It'll be fine an' ya know it, Mark." Papa said as he continued making fritters or something.

"Ah don' want ta be stuck here, no 'fence." I sighed.

Fun and useless fact; when I get really scared/agitated like I am now, I speak like I truely am; a Southerner.

"Non' tak'n." He replied as Mary came bounding down the staircase with a toothbrush lodged in between her lips.

"Muh thurks hurpnd?" She paused for a second to spit into the void. "The fuck's happened?" Then she saw me. "Shite."

"Yup..." I sighed, looking into an empty mug. "Didn' work, an' Ah woke up wit' uh certain muscle of AJ's pressin' up agains' mah low'r spine." Mary winced.

"You're that scared, huh?" She said, sitting down across from me and placing a hand over mine. "Don't worry, we'll figure out a way to get you back."

"An' if y'all don't?" I snapped. "No offence to y'all, but Ah think mah chances of gettin' back to mah universe is kinda slim, don'tcha think?"

"No need to be goddamn cynical." She said, but we both knew we were thinking of other, more drastic things.

"What's going on?" James (Judy) questioned, coming down with Applespice in his grip. "And who's this guy?"

"..." Mary sighed.

"Migh' as well tell 'em." I muttered, flicking at a crumb.

"This is Mark... Myself from an alternate universe." Mary said. "One where everyone's genders have changed."

"Prove it." James said.

"Tah bed in yer room has an M9 embed'd in tah matress, on mah request." I stated. "Mah bed has uh M4 taped to tah underside. Ah almost used it on the Element of Loyalty when Ah had uh nightmare inflicted by chaos magics."

"Right then." James took a seat next to Mary. "What's the plan?"

"Get to Sol and figure out how to send Mark back." Mary said. "If anyone would know how to send him back, it'll be him."

'Or Faust.' I silently added.

"Until then, Ah'm gonna need uh weapon an' some armour." I said. "Y'all got any lyin' 'round?"

"Sorry, but we custom build the armour. You should know this." Mary answered, rubbing her chin. "Though we could order some for ya. Standard?"

"Sam'rai." I said after a moment. "Ah'd like uh sword fer it tah be more acc'rat'."

"Right." She nodded and looked at James, who was just blinking in complete confusion. "Christ, you've been here how long and you still can't understand Southern?"

"I was raised in the North!" He exclaimed. "I had no need to learn Southern!"

"Ah learn'd North'rn mahself, considerin' Ah was tah only South'rner in mah entire unit!" I shot back, pointing at him. "Ah know y'all, an' Ah'm watchin' ya closely." That got Mary to chuckle, at least.

"Getting over it, which is good." She sighed, standing up. "Right, let's go get your armour and weapon created, shall we?" I got up as well with a fritter in my mouth, passing Red Delicious (Odd name for a fem!Big Mac, but whatev's) on the way out. Apple followed behind me.

---

"Alright, I think I can make this..." Elusive muttered, looking at the Samurai armour I drew up on the way here. I can't cook worth a shit, but I sure as hell can draw something if I motivate myself to. "But I need to know what types of materials this contains."

"Well, it contains leather, some dyed silk, and the helmet has some metal." I answered. I had calmed down by now, so my 'Northerner' had come out again.

"We have leather at Reach, so you won't need to import it." Mary quickly added. "The body, arm, and leg armour is simple, but it's the helmet that's hard to make."

"How long will it take for me to complete the helmet?" Elusive asked, looking closer at the helmet's drawing. I had opted to not get the daemon mask, but that's because, to a non-human, a gas mask was creepy enough. Looked like a fucking insect thing with it on.

"Two, maybe three days." Mary answered. "Depends on how slowly you work at it. Don't, for the love of Armok, rush it."

"You rush the thing, I could get seriously injured in a fight while wearing it." I said. Elusive gulped, but nodded a little.

"Right, then." He turned to Mary. "When can I expect the leather?"

"As soon as Hannah goes and gets it." Mary said, meaning Blake. Eh.

"We'll come back in a couple of days." I said with a short bow. Elusive chuckled, before turning back to his work.

"Where to next?" Mary asked me as we stepped outside.

"Canterlot." I muttered, using my hand to block out the sun so I could see the mountain in the distance. "Let's get going."

"Right behind you." She replied, shifting the armour on her shoulders.

"What're you going to Canterlot for?" I asked AJ, who was fidgeting with the straps to his saddlebag.

"Ah gotta see if'n them fancy fellers'll buy our apples." He answered. "Papa asked me ta, an' Ah don' want ta disappoint him."

'Well, this just got more interesting...' I thought.

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