"Looks like the same old shit as usual." I stated before cracking my neck. "Lead the way."

"We're going to the armorer before we hit the throne room." Mary informed me and AJ as we strolled down the streets. "Knowing myself, if I wanted Samurai armour, I'd get a katana or wakizashi."

"And we have an all magical beating stick to make the katana." I added. "And since the wakizashi doesn't need to be created the same way as a katana, it'll be the better choice for me to get made."

"Considering it takes a lot of time to make a true katana." Mary muttered.

"Right-o, then." I called out, walking a little faster. Mary rolled her eyes and followed after me.

"Ah'll meet up with y'all at tah Castle." AJ said before trotting off in another direction.

---

"How long should it take you to make this?" I questioned the sword-smith. She hmm'd for a second.

"Roughly twenty four hours, max." She answered, looking at a metal ingot. "You're lucky you came to me at a time where I didn't have any orders for a while. Come back tomorrow and I'll see if it's done."

"Alright. We'll leave you to it, then." We turned to go, but I felt a metal rod poke my back.

"I'll have to make sure he's capable of using a sword, first." She said, lifting a blade in her magical grip. "Catch." I easily caught it and spun it around a few times in my grip. To them it was a sword, to me it was a machete.

"Easier than a katana." I muttered. "What do you want me to do?"

"Use it on that pole." She said, pointing to a wooden pole sticking from the ground. When I walked over, it started moving a little bit.

"Hm." I poked it, and it swayed as if it were living. So I assumed a combat stance and waited until it came closer.

I punched it before whirling around and sinking it into the hilt where a gut would be on a human.

"Rule one of any weapon; if you don't need to use it, don't use the damn thing." I said as it swayed. "Rule two; if you have the weapon, make sure you know how to use it. To me, this 'sword' is just a big knife." I pulled it out and flipped it before throwing it, sinking it into the wall. "Goddamn, I've weilded machetes that weighed more than that thing."

"Good job." The mare nodded and picked up the metal she was looking at earlier with her magic. "I'll see you two in the morning."

"That was easy." I muttered as we walked out and headed towards the palace.

---

"The hell?" Dawn swooped down and landed in front of us. "I don't remember bringing you here."

"That's because you didn't." I poked her nose and kept walking. "Somehow I brought myself here."

"You can't use magic, so how the hell did you get here?" She asked, trotting alongside me.

"No idea." I shrugged. "Passed from my universe and into yours. I'm her." I jabbed my thumb at Mary. "Just as Anonymous is, if that's still her name."

"Yep." Mary confirmed. Dawn paused, before sighing and continuing her walk.

"Filthy commoners, the lot of you." I heard Bluebell (guess, I dare you) spit at me as she walked past in a huff. She was lucky that she didn't say it loud enough for Dawn or Mary to hear.

"Yeah, about sums us humans up." I said loud enough for her to pause. "But remember, Sol, Lunar and Shadow are all very close to people who grew up on a farm. Can't speak for James, and whoever the pink Alicorn is found a Captain. And you're worth as much to me as a nigger's asshole."

Before she went out of earshot in a huff, I took a deep breath. "Твоя мать была хомяком и ваш отец пахло бузины, мудак!" I shouted, causing Mary to burst out laughing.

"Er, what'd Mark say?" Dawn blinked. "I'm not too good with Russian."

"Eh, it's something from Monty Python." Mary shrugged. "Don't worry your head about it, kid."

"I'm older than you." Dawn deadpanned.

"And? You act a lot younger than you are."

"Yeah yeah..." A death guard suddenly popped up out of nowhere and whispered in her ear, causing her to sigh. "I gotta get going. I'll talk to Sol about this if you don't, alright?" We nodded and she teleported away with the guard.

---

Mark and AJ stood in one of the palace's many nondescript hallways, waiting for Prince Sol to finish up a meeting with King Chris of the changelings. While waiting AJ had asked about his female self and the Apple family, which prompted him to tell the orange stallion about some of their exploits... including AJ's love of cuddling adorably with Sand Dune.

"Who the hell is Sand Dune?" Mary asked, suddenly confused. "Because I know Apple has the same name in your universe."

"My pony self," Mark stated while looking for someplace to sit, only to find that a padded bench had appeared out of nowhere, right behind him. "You know, the whole Poison Joke fiasco…"

"But…" Mary gave her head a shake, as if trying to clear out a bad memory. "But Zecora cured us… I mean, cured me of the Poison Joke."

"Wait," this time it was Mark's turn to shake his head as he flopped down on the bench. "Cured? You mean you can't shift back and forth whenever you like?"

"I…But…There's no way," she stuttered before giving out a groan. Taking a few steps away from the group, she finally turned and regarded her other self. "Ok, how do I do it?"

"Well, you just concentrate really hard…"

Mark was cut off as a soft light engulfed Mary and sure enough, where a human woman had been moments before, there stood a male version of Sand Dune. Like Dune, He was a unicorn, but unlike Dune, he was almost the size of Big Mac back home. "So what's his name?" Mark inquired.

"Sand Castel," the mini Clydesdale gave a frustrated snort. "Or just Castel for short."

"So you didn't know that the cursed joke plant bestowed a lycanthrope-like gift to any human it comes in contact with?"

"Say what now," AJ now looked totally lost.

"He means to say that I can, and always could, shift into Castel whenever I wished," the new stallion elaborated, his deep voice finally matching Mark's own.

"Wait just a tick," an idea suddenly flashed through Mark's mind. "So does that mean you haven't exposed the other humans to Poison Joke?"

"Why the hell would I do that?" Castel asked, yet the look in his counterpart's eyes brought forth a new question. "Wait, why would you do such a horrible thing?"

"Because I'm a dick!" Mark flashed them both a wicked smile. "... And that could be the reason I'm stuck here." Ideas started forming in the Marine's mind.

It was at that precise moment that a pained "…fuck me…" drew everyone's attention to the tall woman making her way up the hall. To Mark's disbelief, the woman looked almost like Celestia… except with blue eyes. Yet as she got closer he could see that the new person was in her yearly 20's, while old Sunbutt's human form looked to be in her late 30's.

"Royal Consort, how good to see you." AJ locked on the strawberry blond instantly, looking for any form of normality to cling to as his world slowly turned upside-down.

"Max?" Mark did a double take.

"Maxine," she corrected him. "Only the royal brothers and General Mary call me Max."

Mark was about to state who he was, when he noted the pained expression on her face. "Are you okay?"

"Sol rode me a little hard this morning and put me away wet," she gave a weary chuckle as she tried to, and failed to, pop her spine back into place. "Not that it's any business of yours."

"I work as a massusse back home, so in a way, it is my business." Mark pointed out. "If you like, I could help."

"I'll probably live to regret this, but okay…" She groaned, coming within arm's length of Mark.

Reaching out, Mark gently placed a flat hand on Maxine's chest, just below her neckline, and placed a fist that was missing a thumb in the small of her back. "Ready?" He asked and when she nodded he bowed her back slightly as he rolled his fist up her spine…

"Holy shit." Maxine gasped as several of her disks popped back into place.

"There, that should hold you for a while," he chuckled. "However, next time you might wish to insist on being on top."

"Yeah, I guess the human spine wasn't made to hold up 300 pounds of muscled pony prince…" She muttered, popping her neck.

"Eh, it depends on how fast said muscled pony prince moves." Mark said with a shrug. Mary just facepalmed. "Slow enough and you'll just be a little uncomfortable. Trust me, I would know that firsthand."

"Why the hell are you me?" Mary groaned. "I'm nowhere near as perverted as you are!"

"Hey, I practically lived off of the bowels of the internet!" Mark shot back with a grin. "You can't browse there and keep your non-pervertedness intact."

Now both Maxine and AJ were confused as shit.

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