Chapter 2 - Burdens to Bear

The gunshot was still ringing in my ears as the shock of the sudden events started to dull. What do I do now? I had to get back to H.Q. and get some help for Mom. How could someone help her, though, how do you help dead?!

Dead... Mom's dead...

I stared at her unmoving form, the pain both wracking my body and my mind making the gun still firmly gripped in her talon look like a gift from whatever malevolent beings reside beyond. They would have to be malevolent to give me such the life I've lived, wouldn't they? Everything has been a lie, my father, my mother, even this mission was! I kept my eye on the glinting firearm, the urge to pull myself to it growing stronger. What use was I now to anyone anyway?

I shook the thought from my head. "No, I still have to get back, but how?" I grunted to myself, trying my best to stand, finding I couldn't quite manage to keep balanced with my twisted, right-rear leg. I fell backwards, still expecting it to be there to hold my weight. I screamed when I landed on the lump of meat it now was. I can do this! I NEED to do this! If I don't, then mother... then she was right.

Standing up to a crouch, I did my best to just let my mangled leg hang as I tried to figure out which way was best to head. I couldn't just jog back through the wilderness the way I came, and the road where I might be more easily seen by a Talon patrol was probably closer anyway. So that's the way I needed to go, nothing hard about that. I took it one step at a time as I headed down the hill to where the sun should rise again soon.

After only a few steps, I couldn't hold it back anymore and screamed. I felt as if knives were jabbing into me when I pulled my leg forward. I continued like this for awhile. Step, step, step, drag. Scream.

A dozen agonizing paces later I collapsed, totally exhausted. It was strange, my leg wasn't bleeding as much as I had thought it might be. It was obscenely swollen, though... and backwards. I felt another surge of adrenaline, pushing myself with every appendage I could. Paw, talons and wings, strained as I managed to get up once more. "Just... to the road... that's all..." I growled out as loud as I could. My voice carried along the wilderness, echoing in the hills as if to remind me just how alone I was.

Crawling along on five limbs was particularly awkward. Even so, it was getting me further than before and much less painfully as well! I managed to slide myself slowly to the bottom of the hill in what I felt was a reasonable rate, just another rise to climb and I was sure I would be able to at least see the road. But every part of me was aching and refused to answer me, leaving me in the dirt as I wheezed. I just needed to rest, to close my eyes for only a moment. I'm sure I can find the strength...

---

I don't know how long I was out, it felt like only a moment, but I awoke with the sun rising ahead of me. My leg managed to ease into a slow ebb and flow of pain as I regained my senses. I had to get to the road, I needed to get somewhere I might be seen if I wanted to prove mother wrong. I stood up, using my sore wings again for support, and clawed my way up the small hill before me. I wasn't able to see where I was stepping, my vision was too blurry and everything seemed to be running together. I ended up scattering loose rocks with every step, making me reflexively try to regain my balance with my limbs.

I cried out with every step, even my wings were no longer making it any easier to move. Lightfeathers' SMG was bouncing around on its sling. The fucking gun had proved worthless in the fight, maybe if it had actually done something than... No! Why do I keep thinking that anything I could have done would have made a difference!? Mother set this whole thing up to kill me, even if she did end up ruining everything. With my thoughts distracting me, I did manage to reach the crest of the hill though. Just as I had hoped, the road was there right before me. A stone's throw down a hill was my salvation, I hoped. I took one more tentative step...

...and slipped

I must have hit my head while I tumbled down, my world flashed in even more pain for a brief moment and disappeared into darkness.

---

Everything returned to me slowly, there were a few muffled voices around in the darkness. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but there was at least two... no, three different voices. As I opened my eyes slowly, and the blurred splotches reformed into more defined shapes, I could swear that I remembered the place I was now. The smell of rubbing alcohol and blood finally gave it away. I had somehow found my way into Dr. Clipwing's office.

"Doctor, Prancer is waking up!" a familiar voice spoke. I know that voice... oh! It's Strix!

I blinked away the fuzziness in my vision and looked around. I saw Strix in the bed beside me, he was looking a lot better than he had two days ago. He gave a light wave of his Talon before pointing at me. No, not at me, to the other side of...

Without warning, I was jumped upon by another griffon. "PRANCY!" Ow, my ears. I looked up as she took in what looked to be the deepest breath she could. "I'm so glad to see you, 'cause when I woke up in the morning, I didn't see you in your bed and so I thought to myself, 'huh, why would Prancy be gone?'. And then it hit me, you were sent on some sort of super spy mission or something where if you told me you'd have to kill me! Anyway, I just had to tell Strixy all about it because we were so worried about you! But then they said some ponies had found you and were hurt, but I knew you would be fine because you made it through both exercises just fine! AND YOU ARE!" She gasped again and heaved in deep breaths, giving me a smile so wide I thought the top of her head would split along her beak.

"Thanks, Gavii... Umm, could you, you know..." I groaned out as politely as I could, pricks of pain spreading through my body with each moment.

"Oh, Did I hurt you, Prancy? I'm sorry!" she exclaimed as she got off of me.

"It's not that, I mean, I can't really feel anything." Now that she was off me that is, but I did have an odd sensation still bothering me. "I knew that you were good, Dr. Clipwing, but my leg doesn't even hurt!" I said with a smile. "I know it's probably just the med-x, but still, thank you for saving me!"

That's when I saw their expressions change. Strix, Gavii, Dr. Clipwing, even Beer Can. Wait... Beer Can? What was he doing here? He caught my look and gave me a nervous smile before looking to the doorway at a couple of ponies I didn't know. All of them had a grave look, except for a small, brown pony with a horn on his head, he just silently watched the others in the room with an expressionless gaze. I felt my own smile fade slowly. Something was wrong.

My body took over as I instinctively clawed at the bedsheets on top of me, ripping into them as I tossed them over. Its... gone. My leg... was just gone... All that was left a discolored and lumpy stump at the bottom of my flank.

"Now Prancer, don't freak out..." Strix's voice snapped me out of my shock, my brain scrambling to catch up to where my body was. I started to panic.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LEG?! WHERE IS IT?!" I couldn't believe it, it was there this morning! I was breathing rapidly, where did it go?

"Doctor, do something! His body must not be stressed any further!" a black and white pony exclaimed from the doorway.

Clipwing shook his head as I felt my heart trying to climb it's way out of my throat, "He'll be fine, don't you worry none. A lil' stress might just do him some good n'fact!"

The black and white mare moved into the room and glared at the doctor. "No, stress will not! Look at him, he is hyperventilating! He is going to pass out at this rate!" She retorted.

Strix spoke up, "Actually, griffons have similar respiratory systems to many birds. Hyperventilation is in fact an evolutionary trait used to stave off hypoxia at high altitudes. Respiratory alkalosis is the real worry, but that wouldn't set in for some time." As much as I hated how much smarter he was than I, that did ease my mind a little. Too bad he wasn't wearing his glasses at that moment, the effect would have been perfect. I flopped back into the bed as my pulse slowed and my mind focused on what they were saying. I was going to be fine, right?

Dr. Clipwing turned to me again. "To answer yer question, Prancer, I had ta amputate tha gol-darned thing. Ya gone an' broke it in seven places and it was too torn up on tha inside for Hydra to even grow it back straight. If we had any, that is." He narrowed his eyes for a moment, "And no, I ain't gonna let'cha look at it. I made that mistake once before with a patient!"

I looked over to the annoyed sounding griffin that had just saved my life, unable to find the words to thank him. He sighed and used a talon to pinch the bridge of his beak. "As fer the rest of ya'll, I'll be needin yah ta let young Prancer here get some rest." He looked up and over to Beer Can, avoiding the gaze of the black and white mare next to him. "I'm sure I don't need ta show ya where the exit is." I shut my eyes and listened as the others shuffled out the doorway with little more than a grumble, the click of the door shutting came as a relief.

Rest sounds good. Maybe I can ask Strix about that library he wanted to build, that sounds like a nice, restful job. Now that I can't be a Talon, I... just remembered, I needed to report back to Sergeant Lightfeathers! I sat up and looked around for my gear. "Doctor, I need to get moving. Where's my pack?"

"Woah there, son, I have it here," he said, motioning to a table behind him, "along with your gun." I was about to ask him for them, but he stopped me, "Though you're going to have to stay put awhile. I ain't about to let you wander with those zebra brews on you. Not ta mention that as much as I don't want her doin' my job for me, she was right about not overstressin' yer body."

"Zebra? Like from the war?" I asked, my mind wandered back to the Talon recruitment poster. Now that he mentions it, "The black and white mare wasn't a pony?"

"Yep. That don't rightly matter now, that war ended 160 years ago. In most places, the prejeduce died with the rest of the world then, seein' as workin' ta'gether made survival just a mite easier." The door cracked open, drawing both of our eyes to it as the Zebra mare walked back in, a clay container was gripped in her mouth. He grabbed it and set it down on the counter beside him, "'Sizza-whatsit' 'ere had a stash of anesthesia potions I had a certain... pleasure bartering fer" He said with a hint of contempt.

"My name is Syzygy." she replied, "and it is your fault he is nearly immobile, you did not follow my instructions carefully enough."

Dr. Clipwing waved his talon in dismissal. "Meh. Few drops, half the bottle, all the bottle. It's all tha same, not like I have a medical license anyhow."

The mare stomped her leg on the floor in anger. "And that is why he has been in a coma for two and a half days!"

I couldn't have been out that long, could I? I swear it was just that morning I had crawled to the road. "It's really been two days?" But what about mother's body? Had anyone even checked for her after they found me?

"That's right, Prancy! And I was here the whole time making sure you're alright! I sang songs and..." My ears stopped paying attention to Gavii about there, when did she slip back in, anyway? No one has even mentioned mom at all, so that means that they didn't find her. Maybe the reason they didn't find her was because she wasn't there in the first place. I'm sure I kind of remember a time Strix had bored me with some sort of near death hallucinations or something. If so, maybe she's still alive!

For only a moment, the image of Mother smiling popped into my head. No, she was there. If she had been an illusion, she wouldn't have smiled, my mind wouldn't know what she would look like with one. Mom had killed herself on that mountain. I wouldn't be that lucky that she wouldn't have.

Dr. Clipwing adopted a very tired expression and leaned in closer to me, his dull voice pulled me back into the conversation going on around me. "Yep, two days dealin' with your... friend here."

"...I was even going to bake a cake too, but daddy said no..." Wait, Gavii was still talking?

I might have been out cold for two days, but I really was still quite tired. I figured I could get a quick nap, so I just closed my eyes a moment...

---

Beer Can and the Zebra were both back and talking trade with Dr. Clipwing when I woke up again. Meanwhile the odd, brown pony sat in the corner and looked bored. Gavii smiled as she scooted herself closer to my bedside, she probably hadn't left it for very long since she finished her story. Likely finished it while I was asleep, too. I let out a sigh, knowing full well that I was going to have to ask her to do me a favor. "So how am I going to get a report back to Sergeant Lightfeathers if I'm not allowed to go?"

"Oh don't worry, Prancy! I'll take it to him. I haven't had a chance to talk to my daddy in a couple days since I was here watching you sleep." Ok, that was creepy, "what should I tell him?"

That had actually been easier than I thought it was going to be. I had to pause a moment or two to think, I wanted to at least sound professional giving my first report. Even if it was also to be my last. "The target was eliminated, and... ah." I swear I could remember my own mother's name... "Lieutenant Quila Thistledown was killed in action."

The room went dead silent.

Well, until Beer Can raised a hoof and began to speak. "Ah hate ta bother ya'll, but what's that meanin'?" Beer Can asked as he turned and stepped towards my bed, "Who's this Keela feller? Musta been someone important around here ta get ya'll ta go all quiet on us."

"She is... was, my mother. You see, she..." I stopped. What was I doing? I felt tears welling up, I couldn't bring myself to tell them that she claimed to be trying to get me killed in the first place. "...must have heard my gunshots while she was on patrol and came to see. She saved my life."

If I can't bring myself to speak the truth, how could she have said what she did? Maybe it was just the result of the stress she's been under recently, the loss of Ravenplume, the increase in Yao'Guai attacks, something! Why would she have wanted me dead? After all that time trying to make me tough and responsible, even she would have seen it would have been a wasted effort! Sure, her punishments were harsh, but isn't that what all the young griffons went through? Did she really just do it all out of the hatred of my very existance?

Beer Can had a... smirk? "So, ah reckon that makes ya an orphan, sorry ta hear that." He turned to Gavii, "Yah figure ah might be able tah find me some more well furnished spot to rest mah head? Doc here is gracious an' all, but he ain't got much'n tha way of lodging."

I spoke slowly, my words felt clumsy. "We... I have a house in town. You guys are welcome to stay there if you'd like. I do owe you my life for bringing me back here."

"Ah mean no offence, Mr. Thistledown, but tha houses 'round here ain't 'xactly built ta accommodate an earth pony. Ya know, we tend ta stick towards tha earth." Beer Can said with a chuckle. Right, I forgot about the local architecture. Building on stilts tended to kept the Yao'Guai from snooping around, but it made having flightless guests difficult it would seem.

"Oh! I could ask daddy if you could stay in the bunk room! It's all neat and stable on ground level! OH, and best of all, you get to hang out with ME! It will be like my very own sleepover!" Gavii chirped with more enthusiasm than would be necessary for even a real party, "OK, Prancy, I'm going to go turn in your report. Let's go, Cheery-Beery-Beardy-Can!" She pirouetted with a flutter of her wings and disappeared into the hallway, followed closely by a very distraught looking Beer Can.

Syzygy turned to the doctor again, "Even with your overdose, he should be fine by this evening, and his bruising and minor injuries should be healed well enough by tomorrow morning." She turned to me, and I saw her bright, amber eyes for the first time. She gave me a small smile, it sent a chill up my spine somehow, "I am sorry for your loss, Mister Prancer. I know how much it can hurt to have what you care for torn from you." She turned and left as well.

The last pony I hadn't quite met gave me a nod, looked around the room one last time and exited as well without a single word. Strange, he didn't say a single word the whole time now that I had thought of it. Maybe there are some ponies who don't talk all that much.

Dr. Clipwing let out a yawn and stretched his wings out. "Well, I'm going ta head home, too. You go ahead and pay your bill whenever ya can, Prancer."

"Oh, well..." Right, this was his job, not a hobby, "how much do I owe you, Dr. Clipwing?"

"200 caps." He headed out before I could even come up with anything else to say.

200 caps? He knows I can't be a Talon after today! I have no job and no job prospects. "How am I going to get the money to pay for all that?" I asked the room a few flabbergasted moments later. Maybe I could convince Strix to give me an advance in return for helping him with his library idea.

"I don't know," I nearly jumped out of my bed, I forgot that Strix was, in fact, still here, "the good news is that Dr. Clipwing is very forgiving about debts, he won't hunt you down or anything." That was nice, I suppose. "He just refuses service to anyone who has an outstanding balance with him." Never mind, that's kind of cruel.

"That's not a problem for you, though, right? Cora was getting billed for the seed pod I heard." If only I could have been so lucky. Maybe if mother didn't spend all of her last pay on alcohol and I could at least cover part of it?

"I wish it was only that, I would be out of this bed by now. No, Dr. Clipwing had to remove the roots left in me after you twisted the damn thing." He tried to sound more annoyed than he actually was, but it wasn't working. With a sigh, I think he realized it as well, "Still, you did save my life, and for that, thank you. Without you I would have been another patch of those plants by now."

I rolled and stared up at the ceiling, finding at least some comfort in his words. "You're welcome, Strix. I couldn't just leave you. I had seen what losing a wing mate did to my mom a couple times, I didn't want to know how it felt."

"All the same, we lost Tarsus." He paused, probably waiting for a response I didn't give. "Gavii told me you were there when she..."

Her face came back to me. '...I'm glad it was you.' The look of peace in her soft, brown eyes. Just that morning I saw her blush...

I heard him shift in his cot. "...Sorry, Prancer. Are you alright?"

"Yeah." No, I'm not. I don't think I'll be alright ever again.

Her voice whispered into my ear softly, 'Doesn't matter to me, I finally got to talk to you.'

I shut my eyes and tried to clear my mind, "Yeah, I'll be OK. The last week has been tough is all." The last week was a joke. My whole life had never been OK, but I couldn't see it. Still, I would trade everything I owned for a chance just to have that life back. Even if it was a lie...

"With losing a leg and all, I can't even imagine what that's like." Strix's voice stung, but he was right. No-one else knew what I've been through, and as much as I wanted it, there was no one out there to help me deal with it. I laughed a bit. A thought came to mind, helping to keep my mind from continuing down that path. It wouldn't be good for anyone if I lost myself to those thoughts.

"So there's stuff even you don't know, Strix? I'd never have guessed!" I felt my mouth twist up into a smile as I turned my gaze over to him.

"There's a lot I haven't learned yet. With every new book a trader brings by I find a dozen things I have yet to study." He said with a smirk of his own before letting out a wide yawn, "I think I'm going to get some sleep. Everyone milling around here talking about stuff had kept me from getting much rest."

"Sure, Strix. Goodnight." So much for trying to keep my mind off of things.

It was only a span of a few minutes and Strix was snoring softly. A few minutes of being left to my own thoughts and I had counted all the rusted holes in the walls. In another ten, I had gingerly counted all the stitches in my flank, or what was left of it. My leg was gone just below my hip, barely anything left to wiggle. This had gotten really boring.

That was it, I had to get out of here, I have to find something to focus on; I rolled myself over the side of the bed onto my remaining legs. It felt a little funny as the removal of my leg left me unbalanced now. I thought about what I'd need and decided that I needed to make my way over to the table that had my stuff. As I stood there, I tried to think of how to do this now. Walking was just so... mundane. It can't be that hard with three legs, I just have to do the same thing that I...

I took two steps as I tried to repeat the process of walking when my leg was mangled and promptly lost my balance, falling to the floor with a plop. I stopped as Strix let out a grunt before turning over, snoring again shortly after. I know I should stay, but there is no way my mind will let me sleep, especially not after I had gotten up already. I pushed myself back up, steadying myself on my three legs as best as I could before trying again.

It was hard to get the hang of it, but I found myself getting into a hopping gait, my left, rear leg having to cover twice the distance now per stride. Next to my pack was my vest. It was quite dirty, but I put brushed it off and put it on anyway. I had to set it on the floor and step into the sleeves, then pull it up from there to keep from falling over. I slung my pouch over my left side and Lightfeathers' SMG over the other. I could still feel a slight tingling about me, the numbness from before was nearly gone. I was sure I would be fine, the zebra had said that I would. So I headed out the door and took to wing...

...Or at least I would have if my flight muscles would have let me. They burned as I tried to flex them. Well, I guess I wasn't getting home yet. The Talon Office isn't too far from the clinic, so a walk there wouldn't be too tough. I could head over there and give Lightfeathers his gun back and check back in with him. I knew Gavii would have already given my report, but mom would expect me to show up myself. I needed to show it to myself, if just to prove that I'm better than what she seemed to have made me out to be.

Going to the office might also fix the problem about owing money if Lightfeathers knew of a way to earn some caps. He does dictate a lot of the missions, and might even find one that I could do even without my leg. Finally with a good feeling about something, I headed off to the office. I was wrong about it being an easy walk, tough. My hop every two steps was both exhausting and slower than I thought it would be across the uneven terrain. I found myself gasping for breath by the time I made it to the front door. I spent a minute or so to catch my breath and to dust myself off, I didn't want to look like a mess in front of a non-commissioned officer.

I hopped my way into the old police building, looking around as it had pretty much cleared out for the night, the sound of excited chattering upstairs was the only noise I could make out. I made my way through the halls toward Lightfeathers' office, taking a deep breath before taking the handle in my talon and opening it. Lightfeathers had his beak buried in paperwork, only glancing up as I swung the door open. He looked back down at his work momentarily before he looked up, quite surprised to see me.

I shut the door and hobbled over to his desk, Lightfeathers giving me a tired smile. "Hello, Prancer. I'm, uh... sorry to hear about your mother." He didn't sound all that sad about it, even though I thought that they had worked closely together for awhile. Mom always said he had a 'thing' for her, but I knew that wasn't true. Lightfeathers had his husband and Mom still loved... I need to drop this line of thought right now.

"I wanted to bring back your gun, it helped a lot, thank you." It really didn't, but there was no reason to be rude.

"No, Prancer, you should keep it. I can always get another. I don't have much call for a weapon anyways these days now that I'm covering your mother's paperwork, too." He shook his head and looked back down at the papers on his desk, scrawling out lines of writing on one of them.

"Oh, thanks." ...For nothing. I guess I can see how much Dr. Clipwing can shave off the bill for this hunk of junk. "By the way, I was wondering if there were any contracts I could pick up. I know I'm still in training for now, it's just that I need to pay Dr. Clipwing for the leg."

"Hmm? Ah, I didn't know you hadn't been told about the bounty on the bear." He stopped writing and looked up to me before shrugging. "The Talons had been given a contract by the local merchant caravans to eliminate the large 'Guai around Mt. Raindier. There was a bounty on it for 2000 caps, even. Your share for the killing of it will be more than enough to cover your expenses, I'm sure."

That's great and all, but there was still a problem, "But, I didn't kill it, my mom did..."

"And you would have inherited the right to claim it, then." That makes sense, I guess. "The catch is that you will have to claim it in person with proof of its death. Its head to be specific, the contract that the company had been offered was quite clear on that." That would be a trick all to itself. How was I supposed to haul the head of a beast like that anywhere!? It would take at LEAST a pair of griffons with sling type gear to even get it off of the ground.

I guess for the caps, I could get Strix... no, he's not going to be in any mood to help. Maybe Gavii can help? I shuddered at the thought of her talking the whole way there and back. Wait, where was I even supposed to take it? "Oh, where is it supposed to be delivered to? I've never been very far outside of 'Claw."

"Nor are you in any shape to go by yourself." Well that's pretty obvious. "however, I think I have an idea, Prancer. The traveling merchant you met may be able to help you out."

That was a much better idea than Gavii! "Really? How's that?

He finished writing on a paper and dropped it into a wire box on his desk marked 'out' before propping his head up with his talon. "Well... Him being a traveling merchant in the area, he would know the way to a main hub of local merchants, wouldn't he?" Lightfeathers asked rhetorically.

Why can't I just be like Strix and be smart? "Yeah, I suppose so." Well at least I'm not...

"...And THAT'S how the Talons were made!" Gavii exclaimed as she entered the front room from one of the back doors. She was leading Beer Can on... a tour? She stopped and gasped as her eyes spotted me, her wings flaring out as she bolted into Lightfeathers office. I didn't even have time to react before she was tightly squeezing me.

Lightfeathers pushed his seat back and got up, rolling his head around as a few soft pops came from his neck. "Hello, you two. Perfect timing! Mr. Can, May I speak to you for a moment in private, please? Prancer, would you mind waiting a moment?"

"Sure thing, dad! Prancy and I can wait in the hall as you do your business stuff!" Gavii yelled from just above my ear, not giving me a choice in the matter as she took off, dragging me out with her. I struggled against her, finally getting free only to fall to the floor and slide along it, stopping as I hit the doormat to the main entrance. I dusted myself off, AGAIN, and found my way to the chairs still in the waiting area. Gavii sat quietly next to me as we could still hear them. Was it eavesdropping if they are speaking clearly enough to hear across the hallway, or do you have to be doing it on purpose to count?

"Why thank ya kindly fer puttin' us up fer the night, Mr. Swan, ya didn't have ta go through tha trouble. But what're ya want'n ta talk 'bout?" I don't know why, but Beer Can sounded like he wasn't actually happy to be here, and in fact sounded more interested in whatever Lightfeathers wanted.

"Just call me Lightfeathers, and I need someone to help Prancer get to Mt. Raindier. I'm sure you know the way." This is what he needed to ask in private? Does he not think I could have asked him myself?

"And what'm ah goin' tah do 'bout helpin' a busted-up tripod? Carry 'im? Besides, ah have other hubs ah gotta reach before I go back ta Raindier. If yer wantin me ta take 'im, what's innit fer me?" Really? I saved you out in the forest! And you think he OWES you?

Lightfeathers grumbled something I couldn't make out before continuing, "...I want to help him get out of 'Claw, he needs to get out. I also need to make sure that there's someone that will make sure he actually makes it there."

"Eh, send 'im with one a' yer own. Ah still havn't heard what's mah end o' tha bargain." That's it, I'm going to go teach him a thing or two about loyalty. 'Tripod' or not, I could handle some old jerk! I moved to get up, only to have Gavii wrap her talons around me in a hug again.

"I'm going to miss you every moment you're away, Prancy." She mumbled into my neck. Wait, was she... crying? My ears perked up as Lightfeathers continued.

"Well, what is it that you would want?" Lightfeathers sounded more annoyed than before. "I don't think I can spare any more caps or equipment than I already have."

"Ah'm sure ya could convince one of tha other Talon bases ta give me a discount on one a their mercs" Oh, so now I'M not good enough.

"I'm willing to put the word in to them to see if that can get Prancer set up as a contractor to the Vanhoover Talons, AND that if he gets it, he gives you a discount on your hire. He can do better service to the Talons outside of 'Claw, I'm sure of it." Wait, a contractor? But I don't have the qualifications to assign and manage mercenaries! That's something for a smart Griffin like Strix!

"Well now, that's a whole 'nuther story, ain't it? I can look after the little Prancer fellah and make sure 'e gets ta where 'e needs ta be, then!" I heard as he pushed out his chair.

"That's not a promise, I can't guarantee anything unless you get him there safely. If you help him get to Mt Raindier, I'll count it as a favor to me, OK?" But, wait... Talons never give anything out for free, so why add that on?

"Well, ah'll have ya know, ah collect on mah favors ah give out!" Yeah, and I plan on making sure to collect on the one you owe me. Maybe if I knew he would pull something like this, I would have just left him in the forest. Then again, if I had, I would be dead right now. Maybe he counted that as returning the favor?

"I don't doubt that you do. Thank you for your time, Mr. Can." The door swung open down the hall, Beer Can trotted out with a smile on his face and disappeared down the hallway, heading toward the bunk room. Lightfeathers poked his head out and looked down for me, giving me a small smile before nodding for me to come over. "Prancer?"

I got up as Gavii released me and made my way back to his office, standing in front of his desk. "Yes, Sergeant?" I asked. I had almost not noticed that Gavii had gotten up to leave at that time.

"Mr. Can has agreed to lead you to Mt. Raindier. I'm going to give you a leave of absence to run this errand for the company. Consider yourself on 'light duty' for the time being and await further orders there. Your contact is claimable from the bazaar manager, she will have the caps for you upon presentation of the 'guai's head. Your cut is 25%. Any questions?"

That seemed simple enough. I wanted to ask him about the new position, but decided that he was already doing enough to try to help me. "I don't think so."

"Good. I expect you to be on your way tomorrow morning. You're dismissed, Prancer." He smiled one last time before picking up his pen and going back to the stack of papers he had. What more could I say? I turned and left. I headed to the bunk room where I thought Gavii might have gone to. I was right, she was sitting in the same bunk I saw her in last time we talked, but she was alone. Had Beer Can gone to the Quartermaster's office? Oh well, it didn't matter. I stopped in the doorway and knocked like before.

She looked up at me and gave me a warm smile. "I'm glad to see you up. I know what I said back in the clinic, but I really was worried about you. I know we never really got to be good friends, but with Tarsy gone, you and Strix are the only two friends I've got." She said, "And now you'll be leaving as well. You think it'll be fun at the other base?"

"I don't know, I have to finish up the contract the company had on the bear my mom killed." I honestly didn't want to set up somewhere else if I didn't have to. 'Claw had always been my home, and even with nothing tying me here anymore, I didn't want to leave.

"I'm... sorry to hear about her." Gavii said solemnly "I bet she was the best mom."

I froze stiff at that. She never even knew how she really was, no one will. Just the mention of her being good was nearly enough to both make my blood boil and bring me to tears. "Anyways, I should get home. I have a lot of work it get to in the morning."

"Please, Prancer, make sure to be safe." She gave me a soft smile, her eyes tearing up. I nodded and turned to leave, stopping as Gavii grabbed me again for a moment. "I really don't have that much left, I can't lose you or Strix, too..." she said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

I'm not sure why, but it was something I felt I had to do. I turned and grabbed her up in a hug as best I could, feeling as she pressed her beak into my neck and sobbed softly. I don't know what I expected as she hugged me back, but after the last week, no, after EVERYTHING in my life, this felt good. Even if it was a little bittersweet, it was welcome.

"I have to go, Gavii. I'll be back in a few days, I promise." I slowly let go of her, letting her take a few steps back and wipe the tears from her face. I turned and hobbled out, watching as Beer Can came back from the washroom up the hall, maybe he wasn't in Lieutenant Rackkam's office...

"Ah'll be seein' ya bright an' early, youngster!" Beer Can commented and beamed a smile as we passed each other. I did my best to smile back, but I still didn't know what to think about him overall. He seemed nice enough, but he always spoke differently to each pony and griffon he met. Once I had made a stop in the washroom myself and made sure I had all my gear, I left the office, giving my wings a tentative flap, feeling that they were still quite stiff. A bit less sore, but they were still not well enough to fly. Pushing myself to get to the bear was a terrible idea, I couldn't even fly at all still, and it's even been two days!

So I was forced to walk yet again, finding myself getting better at walking on three legs. I wasn't quite sure if I was happy about that or not, but at least I was still alive! Mom's work to save me wasn't in vain at least. As I hopped along, I was distracted by it enough not to notice Beer Can walking up to me.

"Hey, youngster. Forgot ta ask if ya don't mind that ah leave mah cart under yer house while ah spend tha night in tha bunkhouse, it's lookin' like rain ta'marra and if it's all the same ta ya, I don't much feel like haulin' it up ta town in tha mud."

"That's fine, just make sure not to leave any food in it, or the Yao'Guai will come looking for it." How'd he know where my house was? I supposed Gavii must have told him, or maybe Lightfeathers gave him a note or something? Whatever, it makes no difference to me how, it just makes things easier for tomorrow.

He was about to leave when he spoke up again, "Also, ah'm a might sorry to 'ave called ya a 'tripod', ah was just tryin' to make a deal with that Swan feller. Ah really didn't mean nuthin' by it!" He slowed his pace and waved a hoof over to me. "I'll just be gettin' tha cart, I'll see ya in tha mornin'." As his hoof beats faded into the distance, the quiet, evening air made me feel good. There was almost always a cool breeze that came down from the northwest this time of night. It made for a pleasant walk home, well, save for the terrible cramp my dramatic limp was giving me, but I couldn't do anything about that.

Reaching the base of my home, I was somewhat stumped as to how I was going to get up. Could I climb up, or could I try to squeeze enough out of my wings to get up? I had to try I supposed, flaring my wings quite painfully before trying to flap them. Bolts of pain lanced through my back as they moved, refusing to take even the slightest amount of pressure. I sighed and consigned myself to attempting to climb and grabbed hold of one of the stilts, trying my best to clamber up. After a few minutes, I wasn't making a lot of progress, but I was three meters up and getting somewhere. I figured I just needed to dig my claws into the wood and pull.

After a few more minutes, I felt myself growing tired quickly and needing a small break between every lift. I glanced down to see my progress, and I was greatly disappointed. I only made it another two meters! I was so frustrated I could scream if it wouldn't have threatened to cause me to fall. I was about to continue onwards when I was enveloped in a sickly, blue-green glow. It was the strangest feeling I think I ever had, I suddenly felt considerably lighter.

Getting back to scaling my house was now very simple, it only took me a few moments to lift myself and reach the front porch. As I rolled myself onto the platform I was met by the small, brown unicorn who was panting hard. I had to wonder for a moment what he was doing here, but I guess I kinda invited all of them, didn't I.

"Did you do the whole... glowy... thing to help me up?" I had heard from old Bookbeak that unicorns could do magic, but I hadn't really thought much about it. Magic was just something that ran old world weapons and machinery, right?

"Yeah." He didn't change his expression as he spoke. But at least now I knew he could speak.

"Thanks. Is that how you got up here? By magic as well?" I asked as I stood up. I looked into the window behind him, watching as a shadow moved past it.

"No, I climbed up. Then I used magic to get Syzygy up here." he nodded his head back toward the house. "She's inside waiting to talk to you."

"Huh, OK." I realized I was being somewhat rude. "I saw you in Dr. Clipwing's office, but I don't believe we had really met." I said, offering my talon for a shake. I even managed to keep from falling over while I was on two legs. "I'm Prancer Thistledown."

He hesitated a moment before he let me take his hoof in a shake. "I'm Nameless," he said flatly. I was about to laugh for being an even worse name than Swan, but stopped as I realized that he seemed dead serious about it.

"Is your name, Nameless, or is it that you don't have a name?" I asked while I broke the talonshake. He gave me a slight shrug.

"I'm sure that I do, I just can't remember it. 'Til then I'm 'Nameless'." He explained.

"Oh, well them, nice to meet you, Nameless." This was getting quite awkward. With Beer Can talking too much and Nameless not talking enough, here's hoping this Syzygy mare will fill the gap left for 'just enough'. "Umm... why don't we go inside?"

'Nameless' nodded and headed into my house, using his magic to operate the door. It was actually interesting how little he seemed to care, but it boggled my mind how a pony could do something like control magic. When I followed him in, I found Syzygy sitting on the couch in the front room. She had half of her mane tightly braided into stings of beads. I hadn't noticed that her mane was braided earlier in the clinic, was it new?

Speaking of new things, this was the first time I had ever hosted guests. I had no idea what I should say, offer them food or something? I looked around and found that the walls were clean, and that mother's pictures were neatly dusted. Had they cleaned the place in the time it took for me to walk here?

"So, are either of you two hungry? I have some chili. Well, It's just CRAM, wild onions and beans, really." I had offered, forgetting that the chili was now nearly a week old if mom hadn't finished it off already. There might have been enough preservatives to have kept it well enough, though I doubted it.

"Thank you, but I am not very fond of meat." Syzygy replied. She looked up as my stomach rebelled against me at the thought of food, growling the loudest I'd heard it in some time. I hadn't eaten in days and needed something before the journey.

"I'll see if we have something else." I said while heading to the kitchen. I peered into the refrigerator, expecting a pot overflowing with mold. Maybe some sort of mutated life that spawned in my cooking, come to take over the town. The reality was actually benign. Mother must have put a bottle of whiskey in there while she was drunk a few nights ago. It had fallen over without the cap on and poured its contents into the remains of my chili. Mom always said that alcohol kills germs, she said that's why she never got sick. By the look of the chili, neither did it!

That solved food for me, but what did I have for the ponies. Well, one pony and one zebra, though, are they really different? I'd have to ask Strix about it or something, cause they both look the same to me. Well, minus the stripes on Syzygy. I checked the cupboard, hoping there'd be more than the beans I found last time. Looking around, I found that there very well could be. Shoved in the back was our last can of beans and a can without a label. I'm sure it'll be exciting to open that and see what I can cook up!

"If you're hungry, I found something I can make for you! Would you like something to drink?" What did mom have left? I started naming off things as I read the labels. "Burboun... Gin... Vodka..." Maybe mom DID use up the last of her pay again...

"Anything without alcohol?" Syzygy asked.

I had to look hard, "Yeah, there's the water from the faucet, but don't have too much, it will make you sick." I spotted a clear container in the middle of my mothers impressive collection, the liquid inside looked like water. "And there's a jug mom had in here. It's not labeled, but it looks like water, too."

Nameless' ears perked up. "It's in a cabinet with liquor, looks like water? Probably moonshine." He looked at me with his same bored expression before getting to his hooves. "I would assume that Beer Can would have something in his cart, I'll be back in a moment." Nameless mumbled as he headed for the front door.

Was he really going to go get something to drink from the cart? that was under the house! I followed him out in time to see him roll off the side of the balcony. I tried to run to catch him, but I tripped from my three-legged gait and fell. I crawled over to the edge and peered over. I saw him sliding down one of the stilts, reaching the ground without so much as a thump. He then started rummaging around in the cart. A moment later his horn started glowing and several bottles were floating up to me. I didn't know what to say, so I just grabbed them and set them by the door.

His return trip was especially interesting, if not a little entertaining. He propped himself in between two poles, placing two hooves on each and shimmied himself up! When he got just below, he used his strength to propel himself high enough to bite onto the edge of the porch, hanging there as I gave a small laugh at the amazing feat. I reached down and grabbed a hold of his fetlock and helped pull him up. Well, only if trying to keep myself from being pulled off while he clambered back onto the balcony counts as help.

"How did you do that?" I asked as I grabbed up the water containers.

He shrugged and wiped the sweat off his brow. "I don't know."

"But... you just did it, how could you not know!? That doesn't even make any sense!" I said exasperatedly. "Well, whatever. We have some water, so let's just go back in for the night."

He nodded, collected the water bottles and we headed inside. once I had made it back to the front room, I was mortified to see that Syzygy was looking through mom's reports! She was going to kill me when she found out about it! I took a step forward and was about to yell for her to stop before holding myself back. Mom's gone, she wouldn't be needing to read them any more. It still bothered me though, seeing her documents disturbed.

"I'm sorry, Syzygy, would you mind not looking through those? I, um, need to file those away." That was a terrible lie, but in truth, filing them away might help me feel a bit better.

She looked up in surprise, hoofing the report away from her. "My apologies, Prancer. I did not mean to offend."

"It's alright, I'll just go put them away." I scooped up the papers and tucked them into my vest to keep my talons free. I have to admit, stairs are evil for someone missing a leg. I was having to place both talons on the step ahead of me and hop to get my paw up to another. This see-saw motion was not only embarrassing, but tiring. At least the stairwell turned away from the front room and I didn't have to worry about my awkwardness in getting up the stairs being seen by my guests for too long.

As I reached the top, my eyes darted to the open door of my room. My simple bed looked so inviting, and I did need to get some semblance of rest before the journey tomorrow. My frustrations from the stairs were magnified when I felt myself become apprehensive about opening Mom's door. She was dead, she wouldn't care if I went in her room! I knew this, but my mind kept telling me that if she found out, she was just going to hit me again.

Steeling myself, I tuned the knob.

It was locked! She left her door locked, then fucking died! I had never so much as seen a key around the house, she had to have kept it with her all the time. How was I going to put these anywhere? I reached into my vest and threw the papers at her door with a grunt, following them as they slowly fluttered to the floor.

"Damn it, mom." I mumbled, slumping over as a feeling of being defeated washed over me. I wasn't able to fly, I wasn't able to walk, I wasn't able to even open a damned door! I pulled the spread of papers from the floor and just slipped them under the door. I don't even care about it anymore, I'll just figure it out later.

"Prancer, everything alright?" The uninterested voice of Nameless emanated from the hallway behind me. If it weren't for the fact that the raider attack happened just yesterday... no, just a few days ago, that I probably wouldn't have been startled enough to drop to the floor. How did he sneak up like that? I didn't even hear him come up the stairs!

I sighed and got back up, looking into his piercing, teal eyes. "Yeah, it's just that my mom left her door locked. You scared me half to death, though."

"So, that's why you're on the floor?" He asked with a puzzled expression.

I didn't really want to explain to him the week of hell I just had, so once again, I fell back on lying. "No, I just feel... lost. I'll be alright, though." It made me feel terrible, but it'll do for now.

I made sure the papers were all the way under the door and headed back down the stairs with Nameless. Even though it had only been a few minutes, Syzygy was already fast asleep on the couch. I was going to say something when my stomach interrupted me with another rumble.

"Yeah, it's food time. You don't have anything against CRAM, do you? I can just heat up that chili." I offered, motioning for him to head to the kitchen.

"I don't remember if I do or not, really." he said with a shrug. I simply nodded and limped my way to the fridge, pulling the pot out and setting it on the stove. It smelled strongly of mom's whiskey, but I think that somehow that made it smell much better than before. I started the gas and struck the flint, the cook stove lit on the first go, but gave only a weak flame. I guess it doesn't matter that the fuel was running low this last week, I'll only need to cook for tonight anyway. I fetched a ladle from one of the drawers and stirred the week old mixture up. Nameless looked over the stove with a frown and began to look around the room for something.

"Prancer, if I may, I have an idea." he said as he grabbed the empty can of beans, from when I first made the chili, out from the sink where I must have left it. He held it out in his magic, filling the room with his blue-green glow as he brought the can up in front of him. His horn flashed as the can was cut in half, several, neatly-spaced, round holes appeared around it's sides. He set the can on the counter top and looked over to the liquor cabinet, using his magic again to bring the jug of 'moonshine' to him. He poured only a sparse amount into the bottom half of the can and floated the jug away to the sink.

He looked at the pot and enveloped it in his magic, floating it over and setting it atop the can. I waited for a moment, wondering why he had done that. He grunted and pointed his horn at the can, a small ZAP sounded and the can erupted in flames! He smiled, "That should do it." and he turned off the gas feeding to the stove. That was it. I didn't like unicorns much anymore. Magic is scary.

"Did you just cut stuff with your mind?" I asked slowly, feeling like I should take a step back. "Then light that stuff on fire?"

"Yeah, seems to be something I'm good at. Really precise things with my magic come easy. Big stuff, lifting, throwing, crushing, that's a lot harder." He explained rather matter-o-factly. "I don't remember any real spells other than telekinesis, spark, light, and cut."

"Wait, did you say unicorns can just crush things? By thinking about it?" I asked, sounding as much as the idiot I was.

"I'd assume so. There's probably a lot of them that are better at it than me." he said as he demonstrated on the top half of the can. It began to shake a bit before folding over itself, slowly being crumpled into a small, jagged ball of rusted tin.

I take it back, I didn't like unicorns at all. Magic is REALLY scary.

I focused on stirring my chili again. Nameless' alcohol stove was really effective, as the chili was already at a good simmer. I let it sit for a moment while I grabbed a couple of bowls and spoons for us. I managed to serve up the two portions for us, but then I realized that I wouldn’t be able to carry them to the table. At least not unless I was willing to bounce on my one paw all the way there. "Could you help me get these to the table, please? I, uh, can't walk over there with them..."

He nodded and floated them around me to the kitchen table. He also floated a bottle of water for each of us. I had to admit, that even though I didn't understand it or trust it at all, magic seemed useful. Maybe that's only because I would find it useful to have, being crippled and all. I sat down on one of the stools and did my best to get comfortable. My amputated leg wasn't hurting at all, but that didn't keep me from finding it awkward to sit on something. I twisted off the cap of my bottle and took a sip, which really just turned into drinking half of it in one go. I had forgotten that I probably hadn't had anything to drink in days, but even so, the water tasted better than even sleep sounded.

Nameless chuckled, showing the first genuine emotion I had seen from him all day. Or ever, for that matter. "So the IV drip the doctor gave you when you were out didn't help much?"

"I'm not sure?" Honestly, I have no idea what an 'eye-vee' is anyway, but if Dr. Clipwing gave me one, it had to be something that was supposed to have helped. I tried a bite of my whiskey chili, not sure what to expect. I was quite surprised to find it really tasty! I quickly ate the whole bowl of food. Finally feeling pleasantly stuffed, something I hadn't felt in awhile.

Nameless looked up at me, a look of puzzlement on his face. "That's right, griffons don't really chew." He nodded something as I pondered how to respond to that, finding it awkward as he seemed to be studying my neck? Furrowing his brow, he shrugged and shoveled a spoon full of the pungent dish into his muzzle.

I shook off the odd look and watched him finish up his bowl quickly. "So, how did you like the chili?"

"It was very good, thank you." he said, using his magic to levitate his water to his mouth. Thankfully he stopped staring at my throat, that was just creepy. "Sorry about the odd remark, I had just remembered that Griffin anatomy means you don't need to. I don't remember how I know, but whatever." He tipped his head back and drained the bottle down in mere moments, setting the empty bottle down without another thought. "...Gizzard stones and all that."

I was about to remark about how weird that was, but I ended up yawning instead. I actually yawned hard enough to pop my jaw. Finally, my body is tired enough to let me sleep. Now if only I can get there before my mind drags me away again. "I think I need to get to bed. G'night, Nameless." Dang, that still sounded so weird to say, but as long as I'm traveling with them, I better get used to it I guess.

"Good night, Prancer." He called out as he left the kitchen, trotting out into the front room. I used my beak and placed my empty dishes into the sink being I made my way back to the stairwell. I looked up the steps with a sigh and limped my way up once more. It was going to be a long day tomorrow, and I need to make sure I'm ready for it. I turned to my room for the first time in awhile, dropped my pack and gun on the floor, and stumbled into bed.

"I'm sorry you didn't love me, mother." I spoke softly to my pillow, my body welcoming the softness beneath it. "I just wished you knew how wrong you were..."

---

I woke from my dreamless sleep to something clattering downstairs. My head was still groggy, but it only took me a moment to make some sense of it. I had slept in and Mom was already awake! I hurried out of bed, ignoring the protest my sore wings gave to flapping. I turned and was about to get down the stairs when I slipped. I fell over and slid down the stairs head first, making just about enough noise to wake H.Q. from here.

"Have you gone mad?" I heard someone ask. I knew that voice, exotic, yet familiar... but from where? Did mother have guests over? Well duh, it's not my imagination, the real question was why wasn't mom yelling at me yet? Maybe I lucked out and she was already out on patrol!

Reflexively, I covered my face with a wing. "No, I'm sorry, I'm alright, I just overslept. Tell mother I'll get right on my chores, and that she doesn’t have to hit me!" I tried to explain. I quickly remembered the gin bottle she threw the other night, and how I had forgotten to clean that as well. "I'm sorry I forgot to clean the broken glass last night! I'll get right on it!" When I didn't get a response, I peered around my wing and I was met by Syzygy's gaze, her face in a look of shock. Oh, right! She and that other pony had stayed overnight.

"Is that what your mother would have done?" She quickly looked down at the floor, "I am sorry, Mister Prancer, I should not have said that. Please pay it no mind."

I managed to get up with a slight groan, falling to the floor again as I expected both my rear legs to hold me up. This is going to take some getting use to, both my leg, and mother's absence. "I guess I was sort of hoping that the last couple days were a nightmare or something. Maybe things might have gotten back to normal." But I know now that normal was just a childish dream in the first place, so was it really better?

"I would not call... nevermind, it is not my place." She looked up and glanced over me. "are you alright?"

I stretched and finale managed to stand back up. "Yeah. Anyway, are you hungry? I don't think you had any dinner last night." I looked over to the kitchen, eyeing the two cans still on the counter that I didn't use. Maybe I can get Nameless to rig up that alcohol burner again.

"No, thank you, I will be fine." Syzygy smiled and walked over to what I assumed were her bags, biting down on them and swinging them onto her back. How ponies managed to do stuff without talons just weirded me out. Especially how Nameless does that... glowy, magic thing!

Now that I thought about him... "Where's Nameless?" I asked, looking about.

Syzygy nodded past the couch. I saw that Nameless was sleeping under one of the chairs, curled up tightly as to where he nearly blended in with the wooden floorboards. What a sneaky, little pony he was. I limped my way over to him, hoping that he wasn't going to wake up sore sleeping like that. I grabbed the chair and tilted it forward, doing my best to drag it quietly away from him. I grabbed the small blanket on the couch that I would always throw over mom and draped it over him.

"I am beginning to see what that Sergeant saw in you." Syzygy remarked, walking into the kitchen.

I turned and followed her, puzzled as to what she meant. "What do you mean? Sergeant Faust was always yelling at me."

"Not Faust, Lightfeathers. In the report, he had commended you for 'Exceptional Camaraderie and Honor' during selection and your training." She explained.

"I haven't finished training yet. I also hadn't heard of any commendation." I had explained.

"It was in the reports your mother had." She replied, "This 'Sergeant Lightfeathers' seemed to be impressed with you."

"I don't see why he would be. I passed selection because the other neophytes were disqualified. After that I wasn't able to save a friend of mine." Then there was the bear, but I didn't want to bring that up.

Syzygy was about to say something but she was interrupted by Nameless peeking into the kitchen. When the hell did he get up? His constant sneaking around was going to get old very quickly, of this I was certain. "There's somepony outside, I'm pretty sure it's Beer Can."

"How can you tell?" I asked as I made my way to the door.

"I heard him approaching through the gaps in the floor." He explained briefly.

Gaps? How could he hear through the spaces between the boards? You know what, that actually made sense. He was laying on it, after all. I went to the front door and opened it, making my way to the edge of the porch. I peered over the edge and sure enough, Beer Can was out there, checking on his cart. He was talking to himself about something but I couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Hello, Beer Can." I called out to him waving a talon as he looked up for the source of my voice.

"Well, hey there, Prancer!" He replied, "Ya'll ready to get goin'?"

"We should be in just a minute, then we'll be right down!" I said before heading back inside.

I found Nameless and Syzygy talking about Beer Can. Well, Syzygy was doing the talking, while Nameless was just doing the whole emotionless, studying gaze thing. I wonder if he's actually paying attention to her or just spacing out. "I cannot trust that stallion. I know that what he speaks is not a lie, but his truths do not mean what his words infer."

That didn't make any sense at all! I looked to Nameless, maybe he would have an idea of what she meant, but he just nodded, not shifting the contemplative look on his face one bit. You know what, never mind then, I have stuff I needed in my room and those stairs weren't going to climb themselves. "I just need to grab some stuff and we'll be ready to go." I huffed out as I hobbled across the floor.

After hopping up those steps again, I swore to myself that I was going to rip them out and replace them with a ramp whenever I got back home. I finally reached my room and collected my pack and Lightfeathers' gun from the floor. I stopped for a moment to look at the submachinegun that wasn't nearly as useful as I had hoped it would be. I guess it was mine now seeing as he didn't take it back, wasn't it? Getting myself back to the current matters, I plodded off through the hallway again, stopping at the end and taking one last look back towards mother's door before descending the stairs as carefully I could.

Nameless and Syzygy were sitting on the couch when I returned to the front room. What I saw was a little astounding, Nameless was finishing the braids in Syzygy's mane. Not exactly something I would expect a stallion to be doing.

"Thank you, it is so hard to do that myself." she said. Herself? How the hell do you do that at all with hooves in the first place!? I grumbled to myself as I pushed the enigma that was pony customs to the back of my mind.

Nameless didn't respond with much more than a small smile and a nod, which I now expect as the standard answer he'll give to most statements. He then turned to his own gear, the sling that carried his holster and pouches, using his magic to buckle everything down. He looked up to Syzygy and I, "Ready to go." he spoke quietly.

Oh, that's right! "OK, just one more thing and I'll be set, too." I said, heading to the kitchen. I grabbed up the two cans of food and the refilled water bottles from the sink. I double checked for anything else, settling on also grabbed the jar of moonshine, as it might come in handy for another alcohol stove or something. Maybe Nameless might remember a few other tricks we could use it for as well. "Alright, that should do it."

"I am ready as well, Mister Prancer." Syzygy said, having already gathered her pack together earlier.

Nameless was already heading out the door, followed closely by Syzygy. I was about to follow as well, but an odd feeling hit me. I had to take one more look around the only home I have known my whole life. I hoped I wouldn't be away from it too long, and I know I'm going to miss it, but I know that I need to do this. Thinking about it, I'll probably miss the framed pictures the most. I would love to take the picture of mom and dad on their wedding day, but I just couldn't risk it being lost or damaged.

Outside, Nameless had already slipped down the side of the house and was lowering Syzygy down with his... weird magic. I flapped my wings, finding them much better after a night of non-medicated rest. My takeoff was not what I would have called graceful, lacking an essential leg to push off with, but fortunately, down is an easy direction to fly. I managed to keep from landing too hard as well, which was nice because I don't think my body would appreciate slamming into the ground again. Safe and sound is the only way I want to fly now, I don't want to lose another limb.

Beer Can was hooking himself up to his cart, pulling straps tight with his teeth and checking to make sure his goods were similarly strapped down while Nameless had just gotten Syzygy down safely as well. Looking over the group, we didn't compare to a wing of Talons, but I really thought we would do alright. We were only traveling to the next town after all and the southern road was well patrolled by the Talons of both 'Claw and Reindeer. There were the troubles of the past week somewhere down this road as well, but the occurrences of the past week were far from ordinary. At least... I really hoped they were.

"Alright, let's head out!" Beer Can said once he was satisfied with the rigging of his harness.

---

After a good, long while of walking, Nameless found himself a place in front, or 'Taking point' was what the Talons would call it. Syzygy and I were just following along behind Beer Can, but I think it was more about wanting to watch Beer Can from a distance than to be keep near me. After what she said earlier about him, I knew she didn't trust him at all, but the question was still, why? What could have made her feel that he was that dishonest?

I turned to her to ask.

...Then nearly jumped out of my fur when Nameless was next to me, walking so closely that I could have gotten a talon around him. He looked at me with his blank expression, his eyes studying me as we walked side by side. "Prancer, there's been a question bothering me for awhile." he said.

I'm really going to have to talk to him about sneaking around me later. "What is it, Nameless?"

"When we arrived, I noticed that the name of your town has an apostrophe in it. An apostrophe denotes something that's been omitted from a word. What's the whole name of the town?" He asked.

Aha! Something I actually knew! ...Kinda. "Well, my teacher, Bookbeak, once told me about that. The sign at the entrance was the only sign for the town left standing after the war. Half of it was missing and CLAW was all the first Talons could read as they flew in to scout it. The whole name of the town was Edens Claw, but the Higher ups thought it just sounded better without the Eden part. In fact, the apostrophe was actually Strix's doing. After Bookbeak told us that story years ago, he went and added it, saying that 'the apocalypse was no excuse for bad grammar'."

Nameless nodded and canted his head to one side. "One more thing. I thought there might be more griffons in a griffon controlled town, although I've only seen a couple dozen or so."

"There's a lot more griffons around 'Claw. Though most of them are on long term contracts or on high risk patrols, with only a few going between here and Seaddle." I knew that from listening to mom all these years. I never meant to eavesdrop, but she always mumbled about those things when she was drinking. "So, now that you know about where I live, what about you? Where are you from?" I asked.

"I don't know. I can't remember anything past a couple weeks ago when Syzygy found me, almost dead from a head wound." he said, turning to watch ahead as we walked.

I finally turned back to Syzygy, "Is that really what happened? When you found Nameless, I mean." It's not like getting killed when you are alone in the wilderness was uncommon in the wastes, but to lose all your memories? That's a new one. I'm really glad I didn't wake up in Doc Clipwing's and not know who I am. Well, that's not untrue, as I wouldn't have to be me anymore. No horrendous lie of a life, no dead mother. Just a blank slate like Nameless. Maybe I'd even have had the same blank look as he always wears around.

My thoughts were interrupted when Syzygy answered. "He was struck by a falling tree, felled by lightning." She said. Then a guilty look came over her face. "It is... my fault that it happened."

Umm... that doesn't seem right. "How could that be your fault, you just said the tree was hit by lightning."

"I did not make it fall, no, but it did fall because of me. Of this, I am sure." She explained, then sighed. "As you will learn to see, Mister Prancer, I am a cursed mare."

Beer Can scoffed at this, obviously listening in. "Thar ain't no such thing as curses! Ya damned zebras can't git that outta yer heads, can ya?!" I've never been one for superstitions, and I wanted to agree with Beer Can, but Syzygy did look like she was being completely honest.

"You would do well not to laugh at such things! Curses could be the end of you someday!" She nearly yelled up at him. Well, at least I knew not to try to sway her on it. Beer Can was only going to start a fight at this rate!

Beer Can came to a halt, "Lookie here, girl. Ah've seen a lotta things 'round here, an' there ain't one of 'em that was a curse!"

The best part of this was at least I got to stop for a moment! My remaining rear leg was starting to cramp up again. I had expected to last longer, seeing as I had walked for kilometers before without issue. I guess this was just another aspect of my injury that I'll have to get used to. I was probably a strange sight for the others though, walking with that damn hop in my step. Speaking of sight, Nameless had disappeared again and was nowhere to be seen. I rolled my eyes and figured that he'd just turn up behind me again when I wasn't looking. Though, I just kept feeling nervous about it when he didn't peek out of anywhere.

I turned and poked Syzygy in the side. "Hey, where's Nameless?"

"He is around somewhere. He does this a lot. The sneaking, the hiding, he must have been an interesting pony in the life he had before he lost his memory." She said, "I have been trying to help him find his memories, and not only for the reason that my curse was what caused him to lose them. I believe that should I balance my karma by helping enough ponies, my curse might be lifted."

"There ain't no such thing as curses!" Beer Can yelled again, stomping his hoof, Apparently fed up with the topic. He stood for a moment and composed himself again before he got moving again, the rest of us continuing with him in silence. In our conversations I hadn't even noticed how far we had gone, but the sign to the convenience store coming into view gave it away handily.

I realized that Beer Can was moving rather quickly now. Did curses bother him that much? Syzygy and I tried to catch up, she managed to hold a canter easily. but running wasn't something I could do right now. At least not yet. I flapped my wings a bit, somewhat surprised when I managed to claw my way into the air.

I was flying fairly well for my wings being sore still. Was it having lost the leg that helped? It felt like a morbid thought, but I guess I did end up with less ballast. Regardless, I was able to keep up until he slowed down again to his previous speed. Whereby I could land and continue walking, not so much gracefully, but at least safely.

At that point, we had reached the convenience store. I had another hollow feeling in my gut just looking at the rock where Tarsus had died, her blood was nowhere to be seen. The surrounding dust seemed to have swallowed it all. Is that all we are? patches in the dust to be consumed by the wasteland? Should we all be lost, would we be remembered? Or are we just going to fade into the swirling dust, forgotten to even the land itself?

I had to shake myself out of my reverie. Beer Can had kept moving onward, so I took to wing again to catch up. I hadn't had a chance to see the road from the ground the last time I was here. So the flat and even texture was definitely quite the surprise. Beer Can was able to hold a fair trot even while pulling his cart. He was keeping up enough speed that I decided to keep flying; give my leg a rest. At least as far as my sore wings might carry me today.

The wilderness was oddly empty of any hostile wildlife. I has assumed that was because we were not only in Talon controlled territory, but now also in the giant yao'guai's former range. We managed to reach what looked like a path heading towards the hillside when Beer Can finally came to a merciful halt. My wings were most certainly done for the day. Curiously, though, he started unhitching himself from the cart. Why would he want to leave it? Didn't we need that to transport the bear's head?

"Now, Syzygy. Ah'm gonna have ta ask ya a favor." Beer Can said in a sheepish voice, clearly not happy about the favor to come.

Syzygy on the other talon, looked quite surprised at the remark, "And what would that be?"

"Would ya mind gettin' in tha harness with meh an' help drag this 'ere cart up tha hill?" He asked. "Ah'm not gonna be able ta do it alone." So he waited until AFTER insulting her to ask? I know I'm not smart, but that was a pretty dumb move.

She scoffed, avoiding any eye contact. "I would... rather not."

"Well, ah guess we'll jus' not be able tah help 'Mister Prancer' with his errand, then." He said with a smile. She grimaced at that and finally relented with a sigh, stepping over to the cart while Beer Can turned and pulled out another harness from within it.

"Nameless, would you help me with this, please?" She asked in no particular direction. Come to think of it, I still hadn't seen him since he last asked me a question a couple of minutes ago. I looked around to find him. It was frustrating though, looking for a small, brown pony in a vast and equally brown wasteland. It wasn't until he stepped out from around a large rock that I saw him. He walked over to Syzygy and helped her buckle into the harness. His magic making short work of fitting the straps, only taking slightly more time than the apparently well-practiced Beer Can.

Once set, we started picking our way up to the cliff side. Nameless was sticking around for now, periodically moving things away from the cart's path. I tried to help with that, but I quickly realized I was better off staying out of the way. I wanted to rationalize it, thinking maybe I should be keeping watch for bad guys or something, but I only ended up just feeling pretty worthless.

Beer Can, though, had me quite impressed with his ability to pick a trail through the broken ground leading to the cave. That ingenuity, combined with Syzygy helping pull the cart and Nameless clearing, helped get us up to the cave in no time at all. Turns out it was faster than I had hoped.

"HOO WEE! Smells like sumthin' died 'round here!" He exclaimed with a chuckle, waving his hoof through the air. "Maybe yer curse killed somethin' up here as well!"

"That is not funny." Syzygy replied as she was unhitching herself.

Being back at this cave again was eerie. I didn't want to go back in there, not with what I knew I would find, and with just the thought of it, I felt myself beginning to shake. This was too much! Mother's body is just inside, and I can't look at her again. What else was I to do, though? I had to get that Yao'guai's head to pay my bill to Dr. Clipwing, something that any honorable talon would do without a second thought. I took a deep breath and moved to head into the cave as Nameless reached out a hoof and stopped me.

"Prancer, let me clear it first." He said before pulled out his pistol, drawing it with his teeth. Could unicorns not shoot with the glowy, magic tricks or something? I mean, he could lift Syzygy into the air, but couldn't use his magic for a gun? Whatever, ponies are wired.

"Don't worry, I can handle myself." I replied. I think I was trying to reassure myself as much as him. This was something I had to do, as much as I didn't ever want to face my mother again, even if it was just her body.

He shook his head and kept his hoof against my chest, "I know your gun's empty, let me go." he said surprisingly clearly from around the bit of his pistol. Wait, it WAS empty, wasn't it? How could I have forgotten? WAIT, how did he know that?!

"How...?" was the only word I could get out of my question.

"Chamber is locked shut. With an open bolt design like that, there's no round in there. Also, the magazine spring is rattling loosely, so no ammo in there, either." He said in his flat, matter-of-fact tone. "Not hard to figure out when you know what to look for."

I raised an eyebrow to that, "And how do you know how to look for stuff like that?"

"As I said before," He shrugged and put his hoof back down, "I don't remember."

What else could I say? I let him go in. I watched him disappear into the darkness of the cave. Without him to focus on, my mind had the urge to wander, but I couldn't afford to let it. I can't fall into a depressed line of thinking, I need to stay on task! Let's see, what are the operational details mom would talk about for securing a site? She'd gone over it a million times when she was drunk, so why can't I remember it now?

It felt like ages had passed until I heard his voice come through the cave again.

"All clear!" his muffled yell called, helping me to relax for a moment. At least no wild beasts had decided to camp out here, I'm not so sure that I could even fight in my condition. Well, technical I can't really fight at all, seeing as I've got no ammunition.

I still didn't want to go in as I knew there was a nightmare waiting for me. Instead, I waited for Syzygy to enter, followed by Beer Can and his cart. I walked in slowly, even for my limp, my mind screaming for me to run. I don't know if I can handle this scene again, I didn't want it to be real. I wish I was just stuck in an actual nightmare... something I might even still wake up from. When I finally made my way inside, the dim light that Nameless was providing from his horn let me see that he was standing over my mother. Beer Can and Syzygy were standing next to him as well, staring in silence.

"Mister Prancer, your mother... she..." Syzygy tried to ask the question I knew was on all their minds. I couldn't take my eyes off of her expression. That stupid grin was still on her face, just there to remind me of how fucked up my life really was, how IGNORANT I had been. Those days are over thought, as far gone as the light from her unmoving eyes.

"Yeah..." was all I could manage to get out.

"Did she just up'n do it? Y'know, after ya'll killed this ghoul bear?" Beer Can asked. I'm really sure he knew that she shot herself already, but why ask? Was he just trying to be that much of an asshole? "I thought ya said she was 'killed in action' or sum'in?"

"Yes, she did... I did..." I sighed, "It's a long story." I really hoped not to have to explain later, I just... I didn't know how. "She was really stressed, she started making things up. There was so much she was going through!" There is no reason they need to know anyway, and what's the harm in adding just one more lie to the story of my mother? It's not like there's a shortage of them in it already.

Syzygy walked over to me and put a hoof around my shoulders, "Shall we bury her? I mean, it is the right thing to do." Syzygy offered. Honestly, I don't think that after what she did, that she would deserve such a kindness. Then again, any kindness from me was something she seemed to be against. Nameless still didn't say a damn thing, he just kept standing there, his ears swiveling around as he looked blankly ahead. Celestia bless him, I could honestly appreciate his silence for the first time since I met him yesterday.

I turned my attention to Syzygy, finally ripping my eyes from Mother. "I'd like to do that, Syzygy, I'd like to do something for her..." I muttered softly. "Beer Can, do you have a shovel?"

"Yep, it's in mah cart sumwhere." He answered.

I headed over to the cart at the entrance of the cave, barely being able to make out the shape of it. I really should have brought something along to light things up with, but then again, I didn't think of it because I'm not the smart one. After a minute or so of carefully digging around, I found the shovel and made my way out of the cave. Though in doing so, I discovered that using the shovel as a makeshift cane helped me along my way a bit.

The weather outside was starting to turn bad quicker than before as rain started to pour down softly around me. I was unfettered, hobbling to the side of the cave towards an open area of the pan-shaped approach to the cavern's mouth. It was there that I began digging, well, as best I could without four limbs. I had to do a balancing act between each bite of the shovel's blade, constantly shifting my body as I tried my best to get this hole dug. It felt impossible to do with only one leg while both talons were busy with the shovel, but I had to finish it. I paused for only second to try to figure out an easier way to dig until I felt something inside me. The emotions coming to the surface so rapidly got bad enough that couldn't help myself anymore.

"DAMN IT, MOM! This is all your fucking fault! I can't even fucking do this right because of you!" I screamed out, my words echoing through the mountains before the rain slowly drowned them out. I shook my head and got back to the digging, screaming with each shovel full of moist earth. "You called ME the failure!" The hole was coming along well now, but it wasn't like I cared anymore, I had to get this out. "IT ALL STARTED WITH YOU!" I reached the shovel back, miscalculating my footing, and slipped into the hole. I growled out in anger and continued digging. It was less dirt now that I was flinging out than muck, the now torrential rain turning the whole into a puddle faster than I could dig. "Now I have to DIG a Celestia-damned hole to pitch YOUR. DEAD. ASS. IN!"

I punctuated each word with another drive of the shovel, only stopping as I thought I heard something shuffle behind me. I slammed the shovel into the mud in rage, turning around to see my companions staring at me. They were carrying a bundle in a sheet that I could only assume was mom. The shocked looks on their faces finally letting me register what I had just been yelling. Even Nameless looked, well, almost perturbed.

"Ah think that'll do, Prancer." Beer Can said, his mane flopping across half his face from being soaked. "looks deep 'nough ta me."

Nopony else mentioned anything, just waiting for me to climb out of the hole before lowering my mother into it. Nameless took up the shovel in his telekinesis and pushed the dirt back over her, letting me watch as every sweep let the mud cover her. I came to realize I didn't know what I felt. Despite my outburst while digging, I didn't want to part with her. She toughened me up and taught me to be responsible, even if she went about it the wrong way, right?

I don't want her to be gone, but I know that the life I had is, and will never be back again. I need to get used to being alone, to living for myself once I get back from this trip. As I was lost in thought, Nameless finished covering her. I stared at her grave, not sure whether to find some way to mark it, or to just let her have the piece she was so desperately looking for. Regardless, now that mom was properly buried as best we could, I could focus on more important things.

I could hear the hoof steps of the others heading back into the cave, leaving me alone again. The rain seemed to be intensifying, and it felt good to let it wash the dirt from me somewhat. It felt almost like it might wash me away, too, but then again, I couldn't let it. I had to get back inside to some shelter, I have a responsibility to finish the job, even if it's something I don't want to do.

"Goodbye, mother." I muttered before I headed back into the cave.

Hobbling in slowly, I found Beer Can looking over his cart while Syzygy was looking over some of the furnishings in the cave. Nameless was busy staring at something on the wall of the cave, which was nice, considering he had stayed in sight at all. I didn't really pay them any more attention than that, just limping over to sit at one of the stools next to a table. There was a picture frame on it depicting a big bear standing next to a bunch of other animals and a yellow pony with a pink mane. I immediately thought back to the pictures I left back at home. What meaning were they supposed to have to me anymore?

"Hmmm..." Nameless seemed to have an idea, "What do you suppose carvings of butterflies mean?" What did they mean? Probably the same as every other image from the old world. It's just there to remind us of what we've lost with the hell we brought upon ourselves.

"Oh, what did you find?" Syzygy asked, her ears perking up as she trot over to him.

"I don't know, carvings of bugs. Something tells me that they're butterflies. Not sure why." He replied, making me slap my face with my talon. Not only does he question what they mean, he doesn't even remember why! Why ask at all? Why not do what everyone else does and just think about it inside your own head.

"Like artwork?" She asked. Nameless just shrugged, so she continued, "Art implies culture. It would be strange for a simple beast to create art like that." Yeah, just as it would be strange for a culture to wipe itself out over something as simple as black rocks.

Beer Can butted into the conversation. "Wait, now. Whadda ya mean, 'culture'? Ya mean he might'a held tea parties with little, pink cups?" He chuckled, rummaging through a box he had pulled from the cart.

"No, culture shows a feeling of belonging and togetherness among the members of a society. If this is art, this bear used to be intelligent. It used to be someone." Syzygy replied.

"And? He's not anymore." Beer Can retorted. "Can't be too 'cultured' if'n the Talons got it out fer ya! Not brewin' up any tea now, izze?" he said with another chuckle, seemingly waiting for a reply that never came.

Syzygy just turned with a huff and sat on the the stool by the table. She sat there for awhile before turning to me. "Prancer, did you know that the Talons were planning to kill a target that used to be someone?"

Well, duh. Someone had to take care of it, seeing as it had been jamming up the trade routes for months now. "Yeah, that was just part of my job." I explained. "Well, it wasn't about who it was, though. The Talons just had a contract to get rid of him."

"Even if it was not personal, all signs point to the bear having been someone before it became a ghoul." Her eyes and ears dropped down as she spoke. "It may have gone mad and not have known what it was doing."

"A ghoul? Like... undead? I asked. "I've never heard of a bear turning into a ghoul before, and the stories I hear are only of ponies becoming them."

"It very well may be somewhat like the way ponies do, yes." She rubbed her chin with her hoof. "Somepony or someone who who takes a lethal dose of magical radiation, yet not lucky enough to die, end up as monsters. I would not think that the process would discriminate race."

"Now hold on! Tha' ain't fair! Callin' them Monsters like that." Beer Can called out in a huff. "Look, plenty o' ghouls out there tha' ain't no diff'rent from anypony else!" He looked like he was going to get into a rant, though he was cut short as a burst of thunder rolled in outside. His demeanor immediately changed, leaning down toward the box he had pulled out. "Alrighty, we ain't goin' anywhere with this 'ere storm outside. I'm thinkin' that we all need ta git comfy until tha storm passes."

I watched as he pulled a small, metallic cylinder from the box, a soft clicking coming from his muzzle before the end of it lit up, sending a wide beam of light out in front of him. He can't be serious. Staying HERE?! No, the rain isn't THAT bad! My fears were punctuated by another flash of lightning. This one so close to the cave that the thunder was a mere second behind it. The sound of the rain falling became a constant pounding on the rocks outside. He was right, it was that bad.

This was going to be a long night.

-----
40% to level 2...

Quest trait added: Tripod.

You lost a leg. -2 AGL whenever you need to perform an action on the ground. Sucks...

Author's Notes:

Many, many thanks to my editor, Gamma, as well as Lost_Art from the #falloutequestria IRC! These Ponies made this chapter possible!

Special thanks to Kkat, Somber and Mimezenga. All of you helped inspire me to write, and in Kkat's case, you gave me a setting to write in!

And thank you, reader, you make this more than just a jumble of print!