Chapter 3 - Cards of Fate

I sat there for awhile, staring out into the pouring rain. The dull thrumming of the droplets hitting the rocks around our shelter felt deafening to me. I wanted to feel that I had been able to do something in the last couple days. Something that may help fix the problems I had never known I was going to have. I mean, I was getting on my way to making something work, right? I did manage to become a Talon, if however short my active tenure was.

No, I had to admit that I certainly was still getting somewhere, if only just getting back to normal. Well, whatever might pass for normal after all of this. With that in mind, I finally pulled my thoughts away from the cave's entrance.

I noted that mom's gun was still sitting on the cave floor near where we left it, I still could hear its report in my mind when she... No, I'm not going to think of that! I couldn't. She was inescapably... gone. I played with the thought to collect it, the weapon possibly being useful later, but I didn't want to touch the thing. At least not yet, I’d figured I could leave it there ‘til morning.

Everypony was getting settled in, except myself. I didn't think I could relax, not in here at least. Maybe not anywhere for a few days. All the same, I needed to get some rest while I could. Reflexively, I ruffled my feathers briskly to try to shake out as much water as I could. Now if only I could find something to shake these thoughts from my head.

I didn't have to worry for long at least. “Are ya done gittin’ me all wet?” Grumbled Beer Can.

I froze, I didn't even think to watch for anyone first. “Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I didn't mean to!”

He started mumbling a bit, "speakin’ ah wet, now, ah was sure ah'd packed more water..."

Water? Oh, Luna, I had forgotten. Nameless had stolen that water for Syzygy and I. It’s not like I had asked him to. I’d have been sure I could find some way to repay Beer Can. "I, umm..." I was about to explain, but I felt a pair of eyes on me. Nameless was staring at me with a weird look.

"What's tha' now, Prancer?" Beer Can asked.

I couldn't put a claw on why, but I just didn't seem able to tell him the real reason while Nameless was watching so intently. "I mean, I did say not to leave any supplies in there overnight."

"Right, 'cause tha yao'guai might get inta it, ah remember." I nodded, and he continued "Wha' ah don' get, though, is how a 'guai would dig through everythin', take sumthin' that specific, then order it up all neat an' tidy again."

"Maybe it could have been smarter than the average bear?" I offered. Nameless rolled his eyes at my feeble attempt. "You can share some of my supplies if you need." Oh, come on, think! what did I have? Can't offer my dirty water, that's what I refilled Beer Can's bottles with, he might recognize that. I really had to keep my food, so that left... "I have some moonshine, if there's anything you might need it for." Oh, I hoped he wouldn't be mad.

"Whaddya mean, 'need it fer'?" he asked.

"I brought it for fuel, Nameless rigged up an alcohol stove the other day. It works really well!" That was actually a really neat trick he had, too. Scary, though. Wait, why was Beer Can looking at me like that? "Are you OK?" ...He really didn't look OK.

"Am ah OK?! Yer plannin' on burnin' moonshine?! On purpose?!" He said in an exacerbated tone. He was wheezing heavily and had to sit down, finding purchase for his rump in a comically over-sized rocking chair. His quick flop left the thing swaying wildly back and forth.

"Calm yourself, you are as dramatic as a foal!" Syzygy interjected, "What would you be doing instead, simply drink it?" she scoffed. "Mister Prancer's idea is actually useful."

“An' what would ya do if I did, curse meh?” he retorted sharply.

Syzygy shook her head, “No, I would assume that you would be doing a fair bit of cursing already should you drink it.”

The chair slowly came to a halt. Beer Can began to chuckle, which grew into a fit of roaring laughter. “HAW! HAW! Dit ya jus' make a joke?” He said before he fell into another laughing fit.

“Yes, I can be funny when I try to. You are just funny to watch you try.” She explained, an image of mock consternation etched into her face.

A few moments passed, only the sound of the downpour outside could be heard. The stare-down lasted until Syzygy lost her composure, her scowl slipping. All at once, we erupted in laughter. Even Nameless had a few quiet snickers.

Joking aside, I offered him the moonshine all the same. Beer Can took a hearty swig straight from the jar. He blinked a few times as he swallowed, followed by a deep, wheezing cough. “Well, ya got yerself sum dandy stuff there, don’t go burnin’ all of it, now!”

That did seem to get his mind off of the water for the time being. I faintly remembered something relevant from old Bookbeak: ‘The best leverage to move a bear with, is bait’. I had no idea how I had remembered that, though I was really glad it stuck, regardless. I’ll have to remember to visit him at the library and thank him once I get home. And maybe kick him for how terrible the coincidence of bear metaphors happened to be at the moment.

I busied myself with getting something to eat for the evening, fishing out one of the cans from my pack. I came up with the curious one without a label. Intrigued once again, I tore the top open with my talons to find it was… corn. I hated corn. Resigning myself to my fate, I choked down what I could from the can, filling my crop with the loathsome vegetable. Or was it a grain? It was probably both at the same time just to spite me.

There was some left in the can. The thought of finishing what remained made me want to retch. “Anyone care for some corn?” I offered to the room, holding the can aloft. I’d hoped someone might want it, I’d hate to waste it… or worse, have to finish it myself.

Syzygy was busy working on mashing up some weird looking plants, she looked up long enough to reply; “No, thank you, Mister Prancer.”

Beer Can had slumped over the jar of moonshine, snoring rather quietly; barely more than heavy breathing. Luckily he had remembered to cap the stuff first, it wouldn't do any good to anyone if he spilled it later in his sleep. Nameless nodded in my direction, surprising me somewhat when he grabbed the can from my grasp in his magic. Unicorns will be another thing to get used to.

“Thank you.” he mumbled, before munching away quietly.

With all that handled, I slipped off of the stool. I propped up my pack against a wall as a makeshift pillow and laid back, closing my eyes for a moment. Listening to the storm outside was relaxing, it was the dirge I needed to wash the day’s thoughts aside. Maybe, just maybe, with some luck I could get some sleep.

A minute later I Thought I heard the rain die down somewhat, so I got up to check. If the rain was letting up then we could get moving again. To heck with sleep, we could get away from this damn cave and get this errand done so that I can figure out what I'd be doing with my life. That 'contracting' thing for Lightfeathers or helping Strix with a library. Either way I'd be pushing papers and running books, right?

I hobbled my way to the cave entrance to see if the pause in the storm was going to last. I never made it, though. A noise from behind me caught my attention, a deep growl from the depths of Tartarus. I turned to see those milky-white, glowing eyes.

A familiar, petrifying fear took me, the same monster back from the dead! What was I going to do? My gun was not only empty, it was still next to my pack. Also, it didn't do all that much the last time anyway!

Oh! Mom’s gun was still on the cave floor! It already put him down once! I scrambled after it. landing hard in the dirt and rolling over, the implement of death in my talon, ready to do...

...Nothing, all I could do was stare blankly into those eyes. They bored into me, staring back into my own self. I saw in its eyes a strange thing... it was, sad? That made me feel all the more horrified. Syzygy had said this used to be someone, how could I have done this?

"How do I fix this?" I asked. The bear responded by pointing at mom's gun, clasped firmly in my claws. I looked to find it already pointed back at me, the huge barrel a most welcome sight. I squeezed the trigger just like Sergeant Faust had taught me… and I heard that muzzle blast just. One. Last. Time...

I awoke with a start, I hadn't even noticed that I dozed off. I turned to see if all was well, noting that my neck was quite sore, cans of food and bottled water didn't make for plush bedding. The bear was, thankfully, right where I had left it and still very dead. As I caught my breath, I noticed Nameless watching me. Did I wake him up?

"Oh, hey there, Nameless."

"Nightmare?" He asked in a hushed tone, more quiet than his normal at least. I assumed as to not wake the others.

"Yeah, I think it's from being here again. You guys said I was unconscious for over two days, but it really feels like I was just here yesterday."

"To your recollection, it was." He replied. I suppose it was. When I was leaving the cave, it was morning. I woke up in Dr. Clipwing's office in the afternoon, albeit after a couple days' coma, then we got here the next day.

I had a question that was bugging me since I had met him, "Why do you not talk much, Nameless? I heard that ponies are always talkative." He scoffed at that with a little smirk. Aha! He does have emotion!

"I'm never sure if I'd say something right." He said. I was sorta waiting for a little more information. Something going into more detail as to why he would feel that way.

“And why would you not be able to say something right? Did the tree hitting you hurt your brain a bit? I, uh... Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.” Great, I had to just ask him if he was brain damaged.

He sighed, “It's alright. No, I don't think it did. I just can't recall important things. Typical customs and social norms. I never know if I'm going to come off as offensive." Wow, that's the most I've heard him say at a time.

My little chat was cut short by Beer Can stirring. “Wha?” he mumbled.

“Good morning, Beer Can!” I cheered. he didn't seem as enthusiastic about getting out of this cave as I was, probably because he didn't come close to death in here. As I clambered up to my paws, well, paw, I noticed something. Mom’s pistol wasn't laying where I thought it was. I almost wanted to just ignore it, let it just be gone, but I couldn't. “Hey, have you seen my mom’s gun? I thought it was over here last night?” I asked, pointing to the path of dirt along the cave floor.

“Yeah, ah grabbed it. Fer safe keepin’ o’ course.” He replied sheepishly. “That one-taloned cannon ‘o yer mum’s is safe in mah hooves!” He added with a triumphant air.

Well, I figured that I couldn't use the pistol anyway, the thing was probably way too big for me to handle. “So, what should we do with the bear? I mean, we need to take his head like my contract said…” I began.

“No, no, I cannot be witness to such a thing!” Syzygy said. She looked as though she was going to be sick. “Are you going to act so barbaric?”

“Oho, wha’s wrong? Ya said b’fore that ‘e’s just a monster nao! What’s wrong with cuttin’ ‘im up a bit, then?!” Beer Can retorted at Syzygy as she was fleeing from the cave.

“I can do it.” Nameless muttered, a glow flashing from his horn. A nearly bloodless gash appeared in the bear’s hide, just at its neck. The seemingly effortless cut leaving what was left of the bear’s cranium to roll over itself, allowing more gore to slosh out of the abyss that was once its skull. The Mt. Raindier merchants didn't need its brains, right? So, I let the pulped mass drain, that would certainly help make it weigh a bit less.

That finished, we busied ourselves with lifting the thing; Nameless and Beer Can at either side, and myself at the rear. All of us trying to lift the head into the cart while Nameless’ magic lessened the weight as best as he could. droplets of sweat could be seen forming on his forehead. he was right about only being good at delicate things, his magic could barely manage lifting any of its mass at all. Dear Celestia, this head was *heavy*!

I felt my leg tremble from the effort. I couldn't give up now, though! My forelegs were shaking under the weight of the skull of the thing, but I knew I couldn't give up! Talons didn't quit. An eternity of struggling later, the chin of the beast was resting on the edge of the cart. I felt a surge of excitement, and I pushed it over its nose, landing it in the cart solidly enough to let it sit for the moment.

While I was catching my breath, Beer Can turned towards me, no, he was just facing away from the cart, “Hrnngh!” he grunted, giving the head a swift buck, providing enough oomph to shove it neatly aboard.

The hard work done, we pulled another sheet that Beer Can had handy over the Giant Yau’Guai’s head. Syzygy found it decent to re-enter the cave, I figured, finally time to help us get the head to the contract. right?

Panting, he called out to the mouth of the cave, presumably to Syzygy. “I’m gonna have ta ask ya ta help meh ta pull tha cart again.” He said in a barely audible murmur over his gasps for breath.

“Fine.” Syzygy said as she simply stood next to the cart, “Would you help me once again into this, then?” she asked the cave. I had assumed that she meant Nameless, who’s magic I saw helping tether her into the cart. The unicorn in question, however, was nowhere to be seen already. The sneaky buck was gone as usual.

After we had the yau'guai's head secured into the cart, and Beer Can and Syzygy hooked up in the harness, we were off. Syzygy was obviously none too happy about being so close to Beer Can again, she didn't seem to like him at all. In an unexpected turn, I actually saw Nameless wandering off a second this time; into his constant watch for things ahead. At least, that's what I figured he was doing. Maybe he was more comfortable now, hiding less from the rest of us? Well, that was the best I could come up with, I had no experience with any...pony… like him.

We hadn't said much while leaving the cave itself, but Beer Can, as always, was the first to bring up idle conversation. "Say, Syzygy, what'r them almond pastries called? Ah can't rightly recall.”

"I do not know. I believe this is a pony thing, is it not?"

"Yea, ah s'pose so…” he replied dejectedly, “Oh! Ah just remembered, 'Bear claws'! Ah sure could go fer a couple a them."

Syzygy responded without a word, just a burning glare. I was going to ask them about what an almond was until they stopped dead in their tracks, both of them had a look of alarm on their face.

"Stop, Mister Prancer! The path has been washed out!" Syzygy said

Oh, that's right. I wasn't watching where I was going. I stopped moving and looked ahead to see that most of the hillside was a muddy smear. The Rainstorm from last night had certainly been bad, the path we took to get here was gone. All that was left was a sheer riverbed in appearance.

"Dang! How're we gonna git mah cart outta here now..." Beer Can grumbled. "It'll be at least a day tah git it out with mah salvage gear. We'll hav'ta take out all tha gear an' hook up mah come-along..."

"A come-a-what?” I asked, cutting him off.

"It's like a winch. Ya use a lever tah pull sum'in' with it." He pondered a moment. "Ya know, come tah think of it, we should'a done that from the git go. Could'a pulled tha bear right ta tha road with it."

I was so angry right about then that I could have scratched his eyes out. "We could have avoided this whole ordeal of getting the cart up here?!" We wouldn't have had to stay in the cave either, Nameless and I could have just grabbed the head and we'd be off, he wouldn't have bothered me about any of this.

“Yep, but we're here now. Not gonna git anywhere fussin' 'bout 'what ifs'. So le's git on with gittin' on!” He said with a chuckle.

An idea came to mind. One I didn't like. “No. There's another way down.” Yeah, the way I dragged myself along a few days before. I didn't want to retrace even more of my worst night ever.

Nameless peeked back around into view. How he manages to hide in plain sight, I was sure I’d never know. "I don't see a way around the landslide. This entire side of the hill is gone." His ever-present nature was starting to creep me out.

"Not a way around it," I explained, "another way back to the road. Towards where you found me, I think." Or somewhere near there, I imagined. Thankfully, I don't remember much of that night.

No, it's not a lie. It's all a joke, it's all a fucking joke! None of this matters!

Well, I only remembered what I wished I could forget...

I shook myself from the twisted reverie. “If we can use the come-a-whatsit to lower the cart slowly, that should get us there in no time.”

Beer Can's eyes brightened up at that, “Well, what'r ya waitin' fer? Let's go!” he exclaimed. Turning sharply, he nearly ran Syzygy over. If it weren't for her being strapped in next to him, he may very well have done so!

“Oh, you are such a brute! When we reach the road, I am getting far away from you!” she exclaimed.

Beer Can waved a hoof, “An' here ah thought we were growin' close, seein’ as we’ve already gotten hitched!” he said sarcastically. “Well, lead on, Prancer. We gotta git ta Raindier before nightfall!”

I followed what was left of the path back to the cave. Looking back to the east, to the direction I had crawled to the road. I knew the heavy rain would have washed away my paw prints, but I found the path blindly once before, it shouldn't be impossible to do it again, right? I was sure I had to have turned east just at the mouth of the cave. That made sense, at least to me.

Then I saw it, a small game trail that might be the path I had found on accident that night “It’s this way, be careful!” I said, trying to pick my way up the hill. I had to admit, the path was a lot shorter than I thought it was before. I suppose a crippling injury has its own way of making distances feel longer. I looked out over the crest of the hill, the road before me once again.

“Ahh, wha’ta wonderful sight,” said Beer Can, staring off to the stretch of transportation marvels of yesteryear. “Prancer, fetch the come-a-long fer meh and wait fer the binary rainbow and I to git tha cart turned ‘round.” His racist one-liner eliciting a grumble from Syzygy

“Umm, OK.” I muttered as I dug around the Bear’s head for the tool. “Why are you going backwards?” I asked.

“Tha’s so we can slow down tha descent of tha cart. Ya see, tha come-a-long there don’t ‘xactly let things down smoothly.” Beer Can said rather matter-of-factly, pulling the poor zebra around with him again. “Now hook it up ta on’a them stumps there an’ gimme tha lead end,” he paused for a moment, “An’ ah don’ mean yer leg.” He added with a chuckle.

If it weren't for Syzygy being strapped in next to him, I might have entertained the thought of letting the come-along ‘slip’. Which would have been a rather poor idea anyway, considering I still hadn't gotten to Mt. Raindier. I needed the cargo in the cart and it would be a rather mean thing to do anyway. So I did as I was instructed and then began pulling the lever, letting the slack out almost a dozen centimeters at a time. With the first pull, Syzygy let out a little squeak of surprise. If this weren't a job I was busy focusing on, I might have thought it cute, even.

Progress was made in slow, monotonous and tiring increments. Beer Can and Syzygy were doing their best to slow the drop with each pull of the lever, essentially braking the cart with their hooves. I had to ponder whether that was painful to them. A hoof was a lot tougher than a paw or talon, but was it that tough? I had hoped so, though in either case we were almost done, about ten meters to go...

A snapping sound caught my attention behind me. I turned my head in time to see the roots of the tree stump I was anchored to give way. I was trying to come up with a plan, but the come-a-long began to drag me down with it, my talons firmly grasped around the handle in surprise. Just before I began tumbling, I saw Nameless throw what little weight he had shoulder-first into the tree stump, pushing its trajectory just enough to roll past me, rather than over.

Having narrowly avoided what may have led to another mangled limb with the help of my companion, I had to wonder what’s wrong between this cliff side and me. This was the second time that I fell down the same hill. If for some reason I have to climb up here a third time on the ground, I swear to Celestia I’ll just slide down on my own and save the universe the trouble of setting up some terrible coincidence. Right before I came to a halt, I realized that this was a strange train of thought to be having whilst rolling down a slope.

“Are you alright, Mister Prancer?!” Syzygy called to me as I reached a full stop at the bottom. She was laying on her haunches, but seemed to be alright, herself.

“Uuugh… I had hoped not to do that again” I groaned, dragging myself up to all threes again. “Yeah, I’m OK.” I added with a slight nod.

“Well, ya mus’ta learn’d sumthin’, not ‘nuff ta keep from it again, but ya took it a heck ova lot better than tha firs’ time!” He added with a chuckle. I was starting to believe that he actively tried to be unhelpful. “We aught git movin’, gotta be in town ‘fore dark.”

I was about to ask if Syzygy was really OK when I felt a couple of pebbles gently roll over my talon. Looking towards where they came from, I saw nameless carefully picking his way down the hill. I smiled warmly at his approach. “Thanks, you saved my tail from that tree stump up there. I really owe you.” I offered. My response was, rather predictably, a simple nod.

“We should continue onwards.” Syzygy said.

With hardly more than a few additional grumbles from Beer Can, we began making our way along the road. Nobody seemed too interested in talking at the moment, leaving the only noises on the trail the hoof beats and the creak of the cart’s axle. The return of the relative silence apart from that was not a welcome thing to me. I had to come up with something. All I had was hearsay from my friends at home. “So, Beer Can, Have you been seeing much trouble around lately? Talon reports have mentioned a lot of weird bandits around lately.” Thank you, Strix, for that gem.

Beer Can shook his head. “Nah, not bandits er nuthin’. Jus’ a couple ah raiders tha’ Nameless thar shot up last week.” I looked to see where Nameless was, for his normal nod of acknowledgement or something, but he was gone again. “Ah found ‘im an’ the zebra at tha li’l shop we passed yesterday af’er the dust settled.” That explained the shootout that Sergeant Faust mentioned. ”He took a bullet o’ his own an’ ah had ta take ‘im back ta Mt. Raindier with meh. Seems like ah hav’a real knack ta pick up youngin’s tha’ need some help.” Beer Can turned to Syzygy “So, what’s a zebra doin’ ‘round these parts anyhow?” He asked with a sarcastic look on his face, as if he didn't expect an answer to the question

“I was placed into exile” she replied, much to my own surprise. I would have expected her to ignore the question, given their less than stellar relationship so far.

“‘cause yer ‘cursed’, I assume?” He retorted.

She nodded, “Yes, my tribe had removed me because of my curse. Accidents always seem to happen around me.”

Beer Can scoffed. “Now tha’s ju…”

“No,” Syzygy interrupted, “it is not coincidence. It was far too common to be simple fate, I am a harbinger of bad luck.” Her prompt response led me to believe she already had this conversation with other ponies before. She looked as though she was close to tears

Beer Can gave a heavy sigh, “Ah’ll have ta keep tha’ in mind, then.” he said, resigning himself to her explanation. I seriously doubted that he believed her, but that wasn't going to make a difference. Instead of trying to pry deeper, he allowed us to continue in silence. Certainly a more peaceful quiet, now that I had something else to focus on. How many accidents does it take for zebras to turn against one of their own? Does it require them to be fatal? More mysteries of the wasteland.

After some time, Nameless appeared in the road ahead. He looked uncomfortable sitting out in the open waiting for us, obvious by how he was shifting about and attempting to watch every direction at once. When we caught up to him, he cleared his throat and spoke with a whisper, “It looks like there's some foals sitting next to the road before us.”

We all came to a stop. “Are they alright?” Syzygy asked.

“Ah su'pose they are, seein' as they are out on their own.” Beer Can replied

Syzygy turned to him sharply, “That is not what I meant!” she yelled. She still wasn't enjoying his company, that was certain.

Nameless shook his head. “Something's wrong though, they felt off...”

“Well what 'bout jus' goin' 'round 'em?” Beer Can offered. “Ah don' wan' any more trouble with curses an' bad feelings...” he explained with a roll of his eyes.

Syzygy shook her head, “No, I can not simply allow them to sit out here,” she explained, “We have to help somehow. Mister Prancer, can you fly up to them and ask what they are doing?”

“Sure, I guess.” I responded, flapping my wings a bit and I took to the air. Heading up the road a ways to look for these children.They weren't too hard to find, really. They were sitting off to the side of the road like Nameless said. I flew down and landed a ways away from them and hobbled slowly towards the kids.

“What are you guys doing out here?” I asked.

A red filly stepped forward, “Nuthin' a Talon needs ta know anything about!” she said harshly.

“Careful, Cutthroat, you're gonna get us killed. Talons are supposed to shoot us on sight around here!” said a pink colt from behind her.

“What? Why would I shoot you?” I asked. Nameless was right, this all felt wrong. I looked more closely at the three children. Their outfits were made of cobbled together bits of scrap, and a few bones, too. Their manes and coats were mangy, and they likely hadn't seen a bar of soap in their entire lives it seemed.

It dawned on me. These kids were raiders! How could I have been so stupid? I had just walked up and started a conversation with raiders on a whim! All my life I was told that they were just plain dumb, and here I am chatting idly with them because they were just foals! I tried my best to keep my composure, they didn't seem to want a fight, so I would be OK if that kept up.

Well, until a blue colt's eyes registered something. He was about to say what would likely ruin yet another day for me when he was interrupted by Beer Can shouting from down the road. “C'mon, Prancer! What're ya blabbin' ta the kids fer?!” I had a bad feeling of my own about this now.

Cutthroat's muzzle turned up into a smile, “Jackpot!” she said with glee. “You two handle the birdie, imma get the salespony!” and she trotted off past me, drawing a nasty looking knife.

This couldn't be happening. “Are you really trying to try and rob us?” I asked. I can't believe this, these were just children!

“Well, yeah... Momma beats us if we don't bring anything good home.” said the blue colt. “So, please, just let us take something and we'll go!” his eyes were tearing up. A pang of guilt shot through me, he just wanted to make his mother happy, too. Sure, this wasn't the right way of doing things...

Well, I was feeling a bit guilty until the pink one started laughing. “Ha ha ha! Momma?! She been dead almost a year!” He exclaimed, giving the blue foal a shove.

“Celestia fucking damn it, Brawny! The dumb bird was gonna fall for it!” He yelled, kicking Brawny over onto his pink rump.

Anger seethed from within me. I stepped forward and slapped the offending foal, my claws leaving a few scratches on his cheek. “You little shit! Are all foals so disappointing?! How can you make anything of yourself without any respect or dignity?!” I yelled, surprising myself at how I sounded like mom for a moment. I was about to continue with my rant when I heard Syzygy scream. “Nameless,” I called out to the wastes in general, hoping that his apparent omnipresence wouldn't fail me, “watch the kids, I'm stopping Cutthroat!” He had better been around to cover, I didn't have the time, I had to help Syzygy!

I flew back to the cart where I saw something odd. Syzygy wasn’t in trouble as I had feared, she was yelling at Beer Can, who was holding a weird looking gun in his mouth. “You can not do this! She is only a filly!”

I landed a few paces from Cutthroat.I felt my anger fade as I addressed the three there, “She's just a raider, not a foal. I'm supposed to kill her myself, even.” I gave Syzygy a mournful glance. There's no way I would be able to just kill somepony like that. Just because I was ordered to. It felt wrong. I turned to Cutthroat, “Just go. Collect your friends and stop raiding.”

“Or what, birdie?” she sneered at me.

“...or my friend gets to shoot you, and you stop raiding anyway.” Beer Can punctuated my point by tonguing some switch to let his energy weapon begin to charge with a rather audible hum. “So leave, stop raiding. Otherwise you will die the next time I see you.” That hollow feeling returned as I finished speaking. Would I really end up killing her? Could I? No, I was sure I’d never see her again, not with how rough a life they must have out here. Odds were that the next Talon that saw them would just shoot her as a matter of policy.

At least she understood that she wasn't winning this round. She left with quite a bit of grumbling, but left none the less, waving to the colts Nameless was holding at gunpoint. I swore I would never doubt him again. Afterwards, we continued on our way.

Syzygy spoke up once Cutthroat's group was out of earshot. “Were you really going to shoot her, Beer Can? Those children were still blank flanks!”

He laughed, “Nah, this here's 'Celestia's Scorcher' Ahm told. It's sum pre-war prototype gun that uses solar energy ta charge its capacitors. Ah figger it was ta give Equestria a source o' unlimit'd ammo.”

I couldn't help myself, my beak had dropped open. Stupefied that such a weapon could ever exist. “But... but... a super gun... what? how?” I took a moment to compose myself. “That doesn't explain why you didn't shoot.”

He laughed even harder, “Tha's 'cuz tha darned thang never did work! Ya'd think if'n ya had sum sort of one ov’a kind gun, ya might want ta make it tough enough ta not break!”

Oh, I bet the big 'guai would have been a breeze to handle with a gun like that. Then mom would still be alive and my life would still be normal! “Beer Can, do you think you'll be able to fix it?” I asked eagerly. Oh, I hoped he said yes. That would really help with the next huge monster the Talons had to deal with! Assuming Lieutenant Rackkam could refit it with a talon grip instead of a pony bit.

He shook his head, “Nope, it's a one ov’a kind gun that needs one ov’a kind parts. Been lookin' fer years tah find sumthin' close enuff ta rig it up fer the heck of it. Tha solar panel’s ar’ fine, but tha proprietary focusin’ bits ar’ toast. Ah can fix 'bout anythin', ah jus' need parts ta do it with.” He pointed up the cloudy sky for a moment, “Though, we ain't particularly blessed with tha ammo fer it; hardly gits a trickle anyhow.”

Now that was just depressing. My short-lived dream of banishing evil in single shots crushed before my very eyes. At least I had a new goal in mind; find a super gun! Something powerful enough to end a fight in mere moments, or maybe scary enough to end it without a shot fired! Oh, mom had one, I’ll have to get her gun back from him.

There was another question I had in mind now, remembering an earlier statement, “Hey, um, what’s a ‘blank flank’?” I asked the group in general.

“That is a pony who does not have a cutie mark yet, or a zebra without a glyph mark.” Syzygy responded.

great, an answer that leads to a question, “OK, and what’s a cutie mark… glyph?”

“Tha’s a physical rep’sentation of wha’ yer talents are in a picture on yer butt.” Beer Can added with his own flair. “Ah know ya ain’t a pony, but ah’d a’thought ya might’a been told tha’ sometime b’fore.”

“No, I didn't learn all that much about ponies while I was little.” I explained, trying my best not to check out their rumps. I couldn't help myself, though, I had to look for their marks. They couldn't be telling the truth, this was too silly! This was absurd! This was… actually true. Plain to see was an image on each of their hindquarters. A garbage bin filled with gold coins on Beer Can and three swirls in a line on Syzygy. This reinforced a notion about ponies I was told while growing up, one of the few things I was told about them; ponies are weird. Oh well, it was time to move on, we had a job to do. Afterall, the town was just up ahead of us.

A few moments of catching sight of our goal, Beer Can flagged me over to him. “Now Prancer,” he began as I got close, “Ya gotta remember tha’ Talons ‘ave a rep’tation ta live up ta!”

I nodded. All Talons have to present themselves well, it’s what griffons are taught before they can even fly!

“Good, ah don’ have ta tell ya that ya aught’ta look tough then?” he asked in what I had hoped was a rhetorical tone.

I wasn't sure what he meant by that. We were just here to finish up the contract and leave, right? “What are you talking about?”

“Ya gotta look dashing! Gotta keep up tha’ ‘stone-cold killer’ look ya had earlier! ‘Ere, I got a eyepatch in mah cart sumwhere…” He said, turning ‘round to begin searching.

“I don’t need an eyepatch…” I started to explain.

“C’mon, ‘Prancy’, ya’ll look like a pirate ‘er sumthin’! ‘Sides, ya don’t need ta need it! Well, ah got a knife in’ere too, jus’ in case!” He cackled.

I decided to ignore him for the rest of the walk, we were pretty much there anyway. The sight I had before me as I passed the gate was interesting. There were so many little ponies around! All of them bustling about their daily lives, chatting, joking, working and the occasional verse of song.

This place was nothing like home. Where a griffon would get a job done first, these ponies looked like they all went out of their way to waste time while they had work to do… Along my walk across the merchant town, I caught sight of ponies conversing about very silly topics while still carrying baggage or even halfway between stacking heavy crates, leaning on boxes precariously perched in a pile.

I had also noticed something interesting, and rather fortunate. There were very few unicorns like Nameless, and I hadn’t seen a pegasus yet. I would certainly hate for some unicorn to get bothered mid-spell and turn me into an orange or something. Or a pegasus dropping flowerpots, anvils, hay carts or pianos on my head when they should be moving them somewhere.

There wasn't much need to search far to reach my goal, the bazaar, it was in the liveliest area of town. Ponies were walking from kiosk to kiosk, table to table, looking for wares, goods or services. All of them were shorter than myself, giving me a clear view to a stand with a sign over it, red letters painted on it with the word ‘manajer’. Advertising both the position, and illiteracy, of the pony in question.

I checked behind me to see if Beer Can and Syzygy were still coming. While they were indeed following along, their pace had slowed sharply as Beer Can was chatting to everypony around him just like anyone else here… Except Syzygy, she just looked around nervously, all the ponies were watching her very closely.

I even saw Nameless chatting with another pony, which felt rather out of place. A lime green one with a chunk of meat for a cutie mark. This cutie mark thing still felt alien, but I might as well keep track, right? The pony was smiling. It wasn't a happy one, it was some kind of smile that twisted my gizzard. Nameless didn't seem interested in the conversation at all either, less even than he might normally seem to.

I approached the two of them, I suppose to get a better look at this weird pony, or at least to hear what they were talking about.

“...I don’t suppose this is part of your usual tricks, eh?” Dang, I missed part of that. The pony saw me as I was approaching, “You’re working with a Talon now, Razor?” He asked Nameless.

“So it would seem.” was his monotone reply

“It would also seem like it’s time for me to go,” he said while walking past me. I could smell what passed for his cologne on him as he left, it smelled like something from Dr. Clipwing’s cupboards, after it was set on fire, and then put out with sewage. I couldn't tell what made me feel more sick. His grin, or his stench.

“Who was that?” I asked once Nameless and I were alone.

Nameless shrugged, “He appeared to be an acquaintance of mine. I don’t remember him.”

I had to chuckle a bit. “That’s not surprising, You haven’t been able to remember anything.”

He nodded, leaving me to look around the busy crowd. Some ponies were taking a moment or two to stare at me, I could almost feel each eyeball every time they looked at the stump that used to be my right hind leg. All of these ponies around were making me nervous, I’d never been in a crowd. I looked back to see if Beer Can had almost caught up to me…

Instead of the roadway, I was met with the face of another griffon. Definitely another Talon, too. Crowded streets were getting very old, very quickly

“What’s an initiate doing wanderin’ around here? What’s yer name and company and what’re ya doing here? I don’t recognize you!” he grilled me with a harsh, gravelly tone before prodding me with a clawtip. “Get Talkin’!”

I saluted smartly, “Initiate Thistledown from the ‘Claw branch! I’m here to finish a contract.” I hoped that covered all of his questions, there was so many in a row I forgot what half of them were!

The Talon looked puzzled, “Thistledown? Now why does that sound familiar? And what contract would you…” his face turned to suspicion, ”No, there’s only one contract out that you’d be here for. How did an initiate kill the giant yao'guai? accidentally hit it from the rifle range?!”

“I… I didn't kill it…” I began. It hurt to say, but I didn't think it was wise to lie to a superior. “My M…”

He interrupted me before I could finish. “Sorry for your loss, then. You have to be from ‘Claw, only some backward camp like that would still allow for a contract to be inherited.”

Some time during our exchange, Beer Can and Syzygy finally caught up with us. Spotting them, I turned to the Talon officer, “Sir, I really must be going, I…” I began to explain.

“Don’t ‘Sir’ me, you aren't in my company. It’s Ravenplume, Percival Ravenplume.”

I wasn't sure if I had heard that right, “Ravenplume?” That couldn't have been right, “Did you have family in ‘Claw?”

He cocked an eyebrow at me, seeming annoyed at even the mention of family. “Yeah, my sister, did she send you with a message or something?”

“N-no… she’s dead.” Blunt really was the only way to be with someone as ornery as him.

He gave a little chortle. “Eh, figures. That dumb bird never did have any sense in her skull. Heh, shows when you figure her only friend she really had; some drunken cunt that beat her kid! In any case, thanks for letting me know, initiate, that’ll save me the Hearth’s Warming card. See ya ‘round.”

Why would he say that about someone? And who was he talking about? Wait, ‘only friend she had...’, did he mean mom? I know that they were friends. That wasn't what my mom was really like! She was tough and harsh, yeah, but even she couldn't have handled the stress. All of the long patrols, the loss of friends, Even Celestia herself abdicated the throne when the ponies’ big war got too much for her, didn't she? That was what my history books said while I was growing up at least.

But Celestia didn’t try to have anyone killed, least of all her own child… Was mom really that bad?

I doesn't matter anymore, Celestia’s dead too by now I assumed.

“What’cha doin’ standin’ ‘round wastin’ time fer, Prancer?” Beer Can asked, snapping me back to the real world. Back to the matter at claw… wait just a moment! He was nagging me about wasting time? Syzygy seemed to catch the hypocrisy of the matter as well, facehoofing hard.

“I was talking to a local Talon. Anyway, let’s just get this contract finished up, OK?” I turned to continue to the ‘manajer’s’ stall and finally get back to my life.

“Well, sure, ah thought tha’s whut we’re doin’ here.” came his reply, accompanied by the soft squeaking of his cart’s wheels.

“Yeah, let’s get going then…” I heard the cart stop, its creaking I heard along the road suddenly absent. I turned once again to Beer Can, talking to yet another pony. Right after he mentioned wasting time? I could feel my face twitch. “OK, I give up,” I called to him with an exaggerated sweep of a talon, “you just take your time and socialize, I’ll be waiting over at the manager’s place!”

I left in a huff, taking flight right then and there. In my haste I managed to pull something in my hind leg on takeoff. This was bound to give me an even worse limp for the rest of the day. Oh well, such was the price of illustrating a point.

The flight was rather brief, reinforcing my belief that ponies really ought to just get the job done first, THEN talk. I really had no clue what I was going to prove, though. Beer Can had already shown how mule-headed he could be. There wasn't much to do but wait. That and watch the crowd go by.

The latter of my available pastimes was far from interesting. In fact, ponies just might be one of the most irritating things I've had to deal with this week. Having nothing left to do but watch the things go about their daily procrastination was going to drive me insane. No wonder Percival was so testy.

Perhaps I should have asked if Strix and Gavii could have helped fly the thing here. I could already hear them in my head, how they would ramble on about some smarty-pants thing or random bits, respectively. That would have been preferable, compared to Beer Can. Oh, but then I’d have to deal with them seeing mom… Oh, why wasn't anything simple anymore?

I glanced over to check on Beer Can’s progress. Only about 20 meters left to go… and talking to another pony, dang it! Whatever, he’s almost here. This is the last thing left to do before I can just go home anyway.

Syzygy caught my gaze and seemed to understand. She began pulling the cart, along with Beer Can, who amazingly kept up with his conversation.

“So ah’ll see ya’ll in a bit, then!” he finally called out to his friend

I wandered over to the zebra and whispered a quick “thank you” to her.

“It was my pleasure, Mister Prancer. In fact, I thank you for the excuse to drag this oaf for a change!” she replied with a smile.

“Alrighty,” Beer Can snorted, “Ah s’pose we’re ready tah offload tha cargo!”

I nodded and addressed the manager, I mean, ‘manajer’. A slim, bright blue thing with a well-kempt, yellow mane. “Excuse me, miss, I’m here to collect on a contract on behalf of the Edens Claw Talons.”

“I’m a stallion.” was ‘her’ reply, in a decidedly unfeminine voice.

Well, too bad for her, him, whatever, I was out of patience today already. “Sorry, sir, although I am here to fulfill the contract for slaying the giant yao’guai.” Oh my gosh, I can do this. I sound awesome! “We have the head as requested and we’ll be on our way after payment.” I finished the sentence with a grotesque unveiling of the head in question. Seeing it in the light of day was downright horrific, but the smell was worse. Fortunately, I was in no mood to care, so I continued. “One giant ghoul bear! 2000 caps!”

Syzygy was about to keel over, and if it weren't for the harness, she may very well have. The effect was marvelous on the ‘manajer’, however. The bag containing my payment was practically thrown to me. “Ugh, what do we do with it now?” he groaned.

Beer Can chuckled a bit, unfazed by the sight or stench, “Ah don’t care wha ya do with yer dead bear. S’long as ya paid tha lad his due, ya do what ya please!” Beer Can explained while removing Syzygy and himself from the cart. “Imma leave it here fer ya.”

“But, but, but that’s ridiculous! We can’t leave it in the marketplace!” He gasped.

“Hey, Prancer.” He called to me, “What were yer instructions fer tha job?”

“Show proof of the bear’s slaying by presenting the bazaar manager the head of the beast.” I recalled what Lightfeathers had instructed me.

“An’ tha’s what ‘e needed ta do, right?” Beer Can asked the ‘manajer’, who nodded. “Then tha’s a done deal!” he exclaimed as he hopped onto his cart, “Honest trade!” He bellowed, punctuating it by giving the head a swift buck out of his cart.

Woo! Go Beer Can!

“Well, now tha’ tha’s set’led, we oughtta slip inna m’ store a minute” He said before grabbing the cart’s harness in his teeth.

What? More sidetracking? Fine. “Oh, alright, how long will it take to get there?” I grumbled.

“Jus’ a m’ment ‘r two.” He replied, mumbling around the leather straps.

“Really? with how long it took to cross the market, I doubt that.”

“Yep! Ah promise!”

“Well it had better be, I’m tired of…” the rest of my rant died when I saw him pull his cart to the store directly behind the ‘manajer’s’ stall and got to work at unbuckling Syzygy from the rigging. I felt like such a dweeb. Doubly so when I realized what the name of his store was, ‘Honest Trade Consignments’. The jerk used my job as a PR stunt!

Beer Can quickly finished freeing the zebra and opened the door to the shop. He promptly announced our entry. “Hiya, there, Mack! Ah’m back early! Brought mah friends, too!”

Rather dejectedly, I followed him into the store, instantly being scrutinized by an excited, little, black filly. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Dad! You have a Talon? That’s so cool! Wait, aren't they expensive? How did you manage to negotiate that?”

“Heh, he was twenny-five percent off! Ha haw!” Beer can said, ruffling the young pony's fuzzy, cream mane.

“I see what you did there, and that’s not nice at all!” Chastised the girl before addressing me, offering her hoof. “Hiya, I’m Macchiato!”

Hesitating a moment, I took her hoof and shook it gently, “I’m Prancer, Prancer Thistledown.”

Syzygy was entering just behind me, “Hello, Macchiato, it is a pleasure to see you once more.” She said, immediately pounced on by the enthusiastic girl.

“I’m so glad to see you guys safe! Did your friend remember anything yet?” she asked, turning to Nameless in the corner. Wait, I didn’t see him come in. Whatever, that was just his thing…

“Sadly, no. He has not recovered any memories.” Answered Syzygy.

“Really? it’s been like, forever!” She pouted, flopping to the floor.

“Two and one half weeks.” corrected Syzygy

“I know! FOREEEVEEEER!” Macchiato wailed, flailing her hooves in the air for dramatic effect.

Syzygy wasn’t effected in the least. “Relax, child, it will only take something familiar to him and he will begin to remember.”

“Aww, fine.” She said after standing again, “I really wanted to get to know him, though. I can’t ask about him if he doesn’t know.” She trotted over to my friend and tapped his forehead with a hoof. “Get those thinky bits working, OK?” she explained. Nameless just nodded absently.

“Tha’s all fine an dandy, but how’s we get some R&R while tha job’s done?” Beer Can offered.

“What’s that? More sidetracking?” I grumbled.

Beer Can shrugged. “Well, why not? Ain’t like we’ll make it back ta ‘Claw ‘fore nightfall. Gittin’ dark a’ready anyhow.”

He was right. “Fine, what’s the plan.”

“Well, ah ran ‘cross one ov mah friends on tha way through town.” I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic, he practically talked to half the ponies in the market. “Mah poker group iz meetin’ up t’night, so ah figger tha’ we all could head over.” He said with an eager grin.

Syzygy stood on her rear hooves alone, crossing her forelegs. “Oh, may I object to this? I have had enough of your sort of entertainment for the time being.”

Beer Can gave no outward reaction to her bipedal display, “Fine, ya can stay here with Mack fer the night.”

The filly swelled with such glee that I thought she might explode. “Really?! I get to have a sleepover?!” She lunged at Beer Can, throwing both forehooves around him in an elated blur. “Thanks, daddy! This is so cool!”

“Yeh, how ‘bout ‘cha brew ‘er up sum coffee? I bet’cha will have ‘er up all night with yer girl talk.” He said in what was likely an attempt to get her attention away from him.

“Or possibly some tea?” Syzygy said.

Beer Can waved a hoof, “Well, whichever it is, ya’ll have fun.”

I wasn’t sure about this, “Are you sure you’ll be OK here?”

“Certainly, I will be perfectly fine staying… right here. Right here with Macchiato.” She said with a faint smile. A smile I didn’t trust. I could tell that there was something that she was hiding from me.

Before I could act upon my suspicion, Beer Can began to nearly shoved us out of his shop, “Time ta go, everypo… erm… everyone!” I found myself worrying about Syzygy. I couldn’t quite put my claw on it, but I had a bad feeling.

Out on the street, most of the ponies had already packed up and headed home for the night. The sun was indeed setting as Beer Can had implied; a few rays of light slipped through the cloud cover at the right angle to shine across the marketplace.

“Ah hate this time ah tha day. Always so derned bright.” Beer Can muttered

“Beer Can, are you sure Syzygy will be alright?” I asked.

He chortled at that. “I bet she’ll be fine. Raindier is mighty tolerant o’ stripes. And she's weird, but she seems ah good sort. Ah bet she’s havin’ ah grand time, she really does like kids or sumthin’.”

“like those little raiders we saw earlier?” I spat back.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “Ah bet she’s kickin’ ‘erself fer not understandin’ tha diff’rence, though. Ya ain’t no kid iffin’ ya‘re playin’ at a big game like tha’. Blank-flank ‘r no.” Beer Can stopped walking. “Speakin’ o’ games, we’re here!” he announced, pointing a hoof at a shabby storefront.

“Still, I hope they’re OK, myself” I replied.

Beer Can didn’t say any more on the subject, he just trotted up to the door and opened it wide. A set of bells ringing as he did so. “After you, gentle sirs.” Nameless slipped silently inside, looking around. I hobbled up after, entering the shop of Beer Can’s friend. Before we could reach very far we were met with the nasally voice of a stallion in a back room. “We’re closed, ya’ll need to come back tomorrow!”

“Aw c’mon now!” Beer Can called back from behind me, “Is jus’ me an’ a coupl’ah friends!”

“You’re back in town early and you’re late to show up. That’s just like you. Well, get on in already!” Beckoned the voice.

Following his lead, Nameless and I headed into the back areas with Beer Can. There was cheering once he entered, until I stepped through the curtain that posed as a door. Three stallions were all alternately staring between Beer Can and myself.

“You brought a Talon in with you?!” One of them asked. Not the one who we first heard as we got here, though.

Beer Can held a hoof in front of him in protest. “he’s not a local, alright? ‘e’s from ‘Claw. That an’ he’s with me, so there ain’t gonna be nothin’ wrong!”

“I don’t care, I bet they talk between the different companies about stuff like this, how to keep squeezin’ the merchants trying to earn a fair living!” He quickly got to his hooves and stormed out, “He’s just here to learn all about your secrets, just like the rest!” he yelled back before pulling open the front door roughly enough to send the bells on it scattered across the main entry.

“Don’t mind him, son.” the nasally voiced host told me, “He’s just angry about one wing of Talon mercs trying to offer a ‘security deal’ on their protection racket in exchange for a discount at his store. By the way, the name’s Full House. I also believe a chair has just opened up.”

“Prancer Thistledown.” I introduced myself as I sat down between Full House and the other stallion, “So, what happened?”

“Hmm? To Shoestring?” Full House raised an eyebrow, “He ended the contract with the Talons and they left, three days later he was burglarized. He claimed it was the Talons extorting him, but everypony knew it was just average thieves that were able to put two, and two, and two together and realize that the security was gone.”

“So why does he blame the Talons?” I still didn’t really get it.

House shifted forward in his chair, “Oh, that’s simple, it’s easier for him to blame something else than to admit that his own stubborn streak led to it all.” He waved his hoof at Shoestring’s prior exit dismissively. “The mercs offered to lower their rates in exchange for giving them supplies at a discount, which they were buying from him anyway.”

This was all starting to make my head hurt. “But, why would the mercs offer a lower rate to buy stuff cheaper?”

“Oh, not this rant again.” Beer Can groaned, settling into a chair on our host’s right.

House gave Beer Can a quick bop and continued anyway. “Because it’s mutually beneficial, but the griffons would be getting a great deal overall. They would be getting less money per paycheck, but it would have been more net profit for them after spending much less on the same goods as before. Those goods, if priced nearly at cost to the mercs, wouldn’t have been a loss to the merchant because they would essentially be purchased before they ever arrived, guaranteeing that he made some money, and he was ordering them anyway for the Talons.”

Being a merchant was starting to sound a whole lot tougher than being a Talon ever would be. “I’m still not really following. Why didn’t the Talons just have the stuff taken out of their paychecks?

“Because the threat of not buying his stuff is another bargaining chip they would have had, they wouldn’t be able to take all of his money he was paying them somewhere else then. Anyways, enough about that anyway. You thirsty?” he asked as he stood up to retrieve something, I felt myself nearly gasp when I saw he had a metal leg; heavy-looking and archano-robotic in nature. The leg gave a quiet whine with each step as he returned to the table with a cardboard, six pack carrier held firmly in his teeth. He set them down gently and waved a hoof over them, “Help yourselves, everypony!” Before fetching a couple more of the containers, whirring the whole way again.

I waited for the ponies to grab their own before collecting a brown, glass bottle for myself. “Thanks.” I said, pulling the cap free with a talon. The contents smelled bitter, but in a good way, like roasted dandelion roots. I took a sip and then checked the label, which read ‘Buckweiser’. I was so very pleased at the taste, bubbly and much less bitter than I had thought, but still nice.

”Don’ worry ‘bout it, Shoestring brought the drinks over tonight. If he forgot to take ‘em with ‘im when he left, that’s his problem!” He laughed.

Full House dealt out a set of cards, “Game’s five card draw; Buy-in is two hundred caps. We don’t play any sissy stuff here. Jokers wild, wrap arounds, dogs and cats count and hopping straights are valid.”

Oh, Celestia, what did I get myself into? “Umm, what does any of that mean?” I asked.

The other pony at the table leaned over to me, “Don’t worry about it, just try to put colors and numbers together and follow along. You’ll be fine, he just likes to talk big.” and after that he placed a bag of caps onto the table. “The name’s Maple Crisp, great to meet ‘cha, Prancer!”

I pulled open my pack to grab my caps. Five hundred of them were mine anyway, right? I also only needed another two hundred to pay Doctor Clipwing. So, I opened the pouch and began counting. Beer Can seemed to already have his counted out, as evident by his neat bag like Maple Crisp had.

Thankfully, having talons to grab stuff had easily allowed me to cover my lack of preparedness, and my caps were set up in short order.

“What’s yer ante, House?” Beer Can asked.

“Five to start.” He replied, and all the ponies chipped in. I mirrored them, trying to make sense of the game.

I checked my cards, four of them were printed in red with a heart in the corner. The other black. They all had a set of numbers on them, except one of the red, which had a picture of a pink unicorn mare with wings… Oh, wait, an alicorn. My mouth felt dry, I was so nervous. I took another drink of my beer and thought up something to say to break the tension. “So, Beer Can, I didn’t think you were a father.”

“Hmm? Mah daughter? She’s ‘dopted. Ah found ‘er awhile ago, her parents were dead so ah snatched her up an’ gave her a roof ta live under.” Beer Can paused a moment to address Full House, “Check.”

Huh? Check what? “Oh, I see. Did you know who her parents were?”

“Check,” Maple said, “What about you, Prancer, check?”

“Umm, sure. Check...” I still didn’t know what we were checking… “Did you see Macchiato’s parents?”

“Mhmm, coupla Steel Ranger scribes. No power armor fer those types, they’s tha thinky ones that sit ‘round readin’ books. Bandits didn’t give ‘em a chance.” Beer Can ended his story with tossing down a few cards, “Gimme three, House.”

House dealt him three new cards, giving me a bit more understanding of the game. Maple Crisp was next, trading two cards.

“And for you, Prancer?” Full House asked.

Well, the black card wasn’t doing me any good, so I slipped it to House. “One, please.”

“Oho! Talons are polite nowadays, eh?” He laughed. The new card he slid to me was another one with a picture. This one a white, unicorn stallion with a blue mane. It was another card with a heart in the corner. All my cards were the same kind, hopefully that meant something good!

House didn’t discard anything. “I’ll stay pat, Beer Can, you raise?” He asked.

“Yep, ah raise fitty.” He replied, pushing forward a hoof-ful of caps.

“Trying to bluff early? I call.” and Maple pushed in an equal amount.

“Naw, ah’d never!” he claimed. “Prancer, ya call?”

I didn’t get this game at all… “Yeah.” And I scooted fifty caps of my own into the pot.

“Fine, I call too.” Full House said, adding his own caps. “let’s show ‘em.”

“Two pairs.” Beer Can said, showing two nines, two threes and a card with a picture on it. I knew the pony on that one, Princess Celestia.

Maple Crisp laughed, “I knew you were bluffing, ya always try that too soon! Three of a kind.” His cards were two sevens, a five, an eight and a card showing someone with the head of a pony and a body made of… other stuff. “Jokers are wild for this game, right?” He asked smugly.

Full House nodded and turned to me, “What have you got?

I set down my cards, “I don’t know, they’re all the same, or something…”

“Heh, a flush. How’s that for beginner’s luck?” House replied, throwing his hooves up.

“Ah bet’cha stacked tha deck…” Beer Can mumbled, “Imma be watchin’ ya tonight.” He added with a point of his hoof.

I managed to figure out the basics over the next few deals; what check, call, raise, and especially fold, all meant. I figure I should have done the last one a few more times than I did, having lost most everything I had just won.

Maple Crisp had had it worse than me, though, and he stepped away from the table. “I don’t think I’ll be stickin’ in. I’ll cash out while I still have caps on the table” he said.

“Suit yourself, and feel free to another beer if you’re hanging out.” Full House explained.

“Thanks, I’ll stick around and talk to our silent friend here,” Turning to Nameless, ”I’m mightly sorry, I thought you were a ponnequin you were so quiet. What was your name?”

Nameless looked up, “I don’t remember it. I lost my memory some time ago.”

“What, like amnesia?” Maple asked

Nameless nodded, “I’ve simply been going by ‘Nameless’. It’s not perfect, but I’d not feel comfortable with just taking a name that isn’t mine in the meantime.” I blinked, dumbfounded at the relative novel-like response. I hadn’t heard that much out of him since this morning. Nameless stood up and slipped himself into Maple’s empty chair. “So, may I join?” Nameless asked, managing to speak a whole paragraph!

“Sure, if ya got the buy-in that is.” Full House said, waving a hoof over the table. “Plenty of beer left, too!”

Nameless fished out a small pouch of tools and his pistol with his magic, placing them neatly on the table. “Will these do as collateral?”

Full House’s jaw dropped. “What kinda work are you in? What do you have a silenced gun for?” He asked. I hadn’t even known it was silenced. I probably should have figured that out from the can-shaped object on the end if it yesterday, had I not been distracted.

“I don’t care for noise.” Nameless said plainly.

“Uh-huh, and the lockpicks?” House asked with a tilt of his head.

“I always lose my keys.” He deadpanned.

“Nameless?” Beer Can began.

“Hmm?” he replied.

“Ya scare meh.” I couldn’t disagree with Beer Can there. That little pony has unnerved me a few times already.

“I suppose it’ll do,” Full house said, counting out two hundred caps and pushing them towards Nameless as best he could, setting the gear off to the side. “I assume you recall the game tonight?”

Nameless nodded, levitating all the caps and sorting them neatly into stacks before anteing up five of them in the pot. Dang, he really needs a new schtick other than his constant nodding.

After the rest of us ante’d up, House dealt out some more cards. My set of cards were, I assumed by the look of them, quite terrible. I had a few cards with pictures, a royal guard, a bat-winged pony and a pony that looked like he was made of gems or crystals. When it came time to draw more cards I almost gave up the bat pony before I noticed they all had the same letter. They were three Jacks! I discarded just my other two instead, a four and a nine. I was a tad disheartened to see that I got a nine and a four back in turn. All I managed was to trade colors, but I at least had my three of a kind.

“I got nothing but an ace,” Full House declared, showing us the card in question, a beautifully colored picture of one of the ministry mares I’d seen from my history lessons, Rarity, before grabbing four new cards in place of the others. The replacements weren’t any better judging from the sour look on his face afterwards.

“Hmm, ah raise twenny.” said Beer Can, nudging the caps into the pot.

“Fold.” was Nameless’s turn. He set his cards neatly on the table.

“Call.” I said, matching Beer Can’s twenty.

“And call. Let’s show.” House set, displaying a pair of aces. Rarity now joined by Twilight.

“Three threes, Mister!” Beer Can cheered, “What’cha got, Prancy?”

Oh, using Gavii’s pet name that she called me, are you? “Three Jacks, that beats you, right?”

Beer Can just grumbled, so I took the pot. The rest of the game was a lot less fortunate for me, I ended up losing a lot of it again. Nameless, on the other claw, happened to know exactly what to do with each deal. He either folded or just won the pot from there on. It was rather frustrating.

Things were just as tough for Beer Can and Full House, they were getting twitchy. House seemed all too desperate to win back what he was losing, and not doing a very good job at it. Beer Can seemed to be keeping more or less even, though.

Finally it came down to what I was sure to be the last deal. I had terrible cards, an eight, a seven, a two and two threes.

“Ah raise thirty.” Was Beer Can’s play.

“Call.” said Nameless, matching the wager.

“Call.” I said, I had really hoped I could get some good cards with the draw. I placed my own thirty caps into the pot.

Beer Can discarded two, Nameless stayed put, and I discarded everything but my threes, praying to at least get another to match them. Sadly, the replacements were just a unhelpful. Full House took one card.

“Check.” Beer Can said, passing the bet to Nameless.

Nameless shoved a pile of caps into the pot. “I raise one hundred.” he muttered with nary a hitch nor a warble in his flat tone.

“You bluff worse than Beer Can!” House called out.

“Ah don’ think ‘e’s bluffin’ ya…” Beer Can offered.

Everypony besides Nameless was getting tense. I didn’t have anything good, just a nearly random jumble of cards. I met Nameless’s gaze, and his eyes softened for a brief moment. It was almost like he was telling me something… did he know I hadn’t a chance? He must have, he’s been doing so well all night!

“I fold.” I muttered. Defeated, but I was sure it was the right choice.

Sweat was forming On House’s forehead. He seemed to really be struggling now to keep up with Nameless’s empty gaze. Making a noble, but futile effort to find some sort of meaning in his face. Nameless may as well have been made of stone, his poker face unflinching. “I Call!” Full House nearly yelled as he shoved in his remaining caps, splashing the pot.

Nameless set down his cards. The first character on the cards I recognized easily from the old books, Nightmare Moon. Followed by a tall, bug-like mare with fillament wings and a twisted horn; A dark unicorn in regal clothes with a mane of shadows; A smaller bug-like pony; and a zebra wearing a large assortment of gold bangles and earrings.

“BWA HA!” Beer Can cheered, “Royal Flush in spades! Ah told’ja he don’t bluff!”

This caught Maple Crisp’s attention, he almost jumped to the table to see. “It’s not really a royal flush if you have a wild card in it.” He corrected, pointing at the zebra pictured there.

Beer Can deflated, “Oh, fine. A straight flush!”

Regardless of the right terminology, Nameless won the last of Full House's chips. "Well, that's it for the game, then." he said dejectedly. "I hope ya'll are happy, I'm completely bust thanks to yer quiet friend here!"

"May I purchase my gear back, please?" Nameless asked.

"What? Oh, sweet Luna." He moaned before snorting out, "That’ll help, but I'll be lucky to scrape the caps together to keep my shop open the rest of the month."

Beer Can seemed to have an idea "Ah su'pose ah could take yer Cyber-leg in lieu of tha caps ah'm owed. tha' aughtta leave ya sum'in' tah work with." he said with a smug grin

The card shark was quite visibly angry at the notion of giving up his Cyber-hoof. "Yer tryin' to charge me a hoof and a leg?! Literally?! No, this wasn't some cheap toy either, it's worth loads of caps."

"Oh, hush now, ain't like we're takin' a fresh one! An' no, it ain't worth 'loads'. Ya 'ave been kickin' 'round on that leg fer decades now, it ain't hardly worth diddly. Yer lucky ahm off’rin ya a deal at all! 'Sides, with all those caps ya always brag 'bout winnin', ya'll be affordin' a better one in no time!" explained Beer Can.

"Gonna be a year or two before I find another leg." He grumbled, but he finally relented and removed the hoof. It looked like it was pretty difficult to do, unmounting it with your mouth. All the same, it was in Beer Can’s hooves now. I could see that he was really excited about getting a hold of this leg. It was kinda scary, really, how crazy happy he was getting over a pony’s hoof!

“I suppose you boys would like to cash out, too.” House said with a sigh as he counted out the caps for us. “Here’s 327 for you, squinty, and your gear back” he said, Hoofing his pistol, lock picks and stack of caps to Nameless, “132 to the catbird,” as he pushed a much smaller stack to me, which I scooped up back into the bag whence it came earlier. “And you, Beer Can, can get the hell out!” He yelled to our friend.

“Aw, all angry ‘bout tha “House always wins” bein’ a load’a fert’lizer?” Beer Can jested to no positive effect, as per usual for his jokes. House glared at my friend. “Heh, ah’ll be seein’ ya the us’al time next week, then?” he asked with a hearty chuckle. Full House growled and chased him off by throwing empty Buckwieser bottles, Beer Can’s cackles echoing back into the room as he cantered away.

Nameless was just strapping his pistol’s holster back onto his sling harness when I looked back. “Ready to go? We should catch up with Beer Can.” I said. Nameless’ response was just his typical nod. “Thank you for the hospitality, Mr. House.” I told the old card shark before following out where Beer Can had passed a moment ago.

Beer Can was already out in the street, chortling as he danced about. “Heh, did’ja’ll see his face! Ah’ve been tryin’ ta stick it ta him like tha’ fer months!” He danced around a bit more before heading back towards his shop. “Ah gotta drop off this ‘ere leg.” He added while he crossed the street, tossing the fake limb into his cart. I assumed we did pretty well for ourselves. A cybernetic limb and several hundred caps was quite a haul I was sure, although I wasn’t the one to have made the caps… or earned the leg…

Ya know what, I don’t think I like poker. Nope, not at all.

"Well, this calls fer a celebration! Ah know tha perfect place!" Beer Can exclaimed as he returned, trotting past us briskly. Beer Can led us away down the street and through an alley to another open square. He stopped before a small building that looked as though it couldn't have been much more than a couple of rooms. All the same, it was quite obviously a bar. I’ve had to drag mom to the clinic to rest after she spent some time at one a few times. I still felt bad about that, I couldn’t fly to our house while carrying her, and the clinic was the only building with a ramp. Just another way I wasn’t strong enough, I supposed.

As we approached the place that Beer Can had been talking about, we were stopped by two big ponies at the door. At least I thought they might be big ponies, or bigger than average maybe. It was hard to form a reference for which ones are "big" when I hadn't even seen one as tall as I was yet.

"Evenin', gentlecolts!" Beer Can said to the bouncers, who nodded and let the old trader pass.

Things soured when Nameless got to the doorway. "Yo, you ain't allowed here no more!" one yelled at him, "you been blacklisted months ago!" The other explained.

"Oh? Why is that?" Asked Nameless.

"Don't play dumb,” One started, “you know what happened at the card tables!" The other retorted.

I hobbled up to the bouncers, "Is there something wrong?"

They looked me over for a moment, "No,” One said flatly, “not with you,” the other finished. “We don't want any trouble with the Talons.” The first one elaborated. This way of talking had better not be their ‘thing’... “Problems happen when Talons are bothered.” Said the other, cementing my fears.

“So, what is wrong?” I demanded.

“This little guy,” the second one began, “he ain't allowed in.” Stated the first one. “not after the damages from the last time he was hustlin' poker!"

Oh, so this must have been another one of those things he didn’t remember. No wonder he wiped the table with Full House. "But he's with me." I offered.

“Sorry,” One said, “Don’t care.” The other finished. “When he shows up, trouble follows” said... one of them, I honestly couldn’t tell which, maybe both?

These ponies’ way of speaking was driving me nuts! Why couldn’t just one or the other talk! OK, now what would someone smarter think of to say? I guess I had to stall until I could figure something out. “Are you sure it was his fault? Maybe it was all coincidence? You can’t be sure it’ll happen again. Besides, I’ll be keeping a close eye on him.” I said, maybe that’ll buy some time.

They were silent for almost a minute, exchanging glances between themselves and periodically looking at Nameless and I. It was starting to get really creepy, but finally one sighed and nodded to the other.

"Fine, on the condition that HE," the bouncer punctuated with a hoof jabbed towards Nameless, "Doesn't even get so much as his STINK on a playing card. Lastly, you will have to hand us over your firearms."

"Why's that? It's not loaded." I said plainly. “And what happened to your bounce-back-and-forth talk?!”

The bouncers looked befuddled, "What do you mean it's not loaded? What good is an empty gun?!" apparently ignoring my calling them out on their stupid game. At least they weren’t finishing each other’s sentences anymore.

"Not sure, I just didn't need any more ammo for it since my last contract." I reached for the magazine of my SMG and removed it, then showing them it was, indeed, empty. I still hadn't remembered to get any after my encounter with the bear.

The bouncers turned away from us and whispered between themselves. Their discussion must have become heated, as they raised their voices just enough for me to make out the last word of one of them.

"Look, he's either some badass or a complete nutjob. either way, I'm not dealing with pissing that off." He turned back around to address me, "Fine, keep it. Just tuck it out of sight or somethin'!" and with that he stepped aside and let us in. I stuffed my gun in my pack and then realized the bouncers must have missed Nameless' pistol. I looked back at my friend, and couldn't find his gun. Not the gun, the holster, not even one bullet. I was just about to tie my bags shut when I saw his weapon neatly stored next to my own. In my bag...

"How did you?" I stammered. Nameless didn't reply, he just shrugged.

I didn't think I would ever come to understand him, he really was kinda freaky. I shook the mystery aside in my head and walked into the bar, at least he didn’t have his gun to shoot me in the back with! Though, that was little comfort when dealing with a pony that cut off a head this morning. With his mind.

The lights were very dim for some reason, or maybe all bars were like that? Regardless, I could barely see Beer Can waving us over to a table he had sat down at. He already had a round of drinks waiting for us.

"C'mon over! These here ain't goin' ta drink themselves... Well, ah might up'n drink 'em, but that's diff'rent!" He said.

"Who were those ponies at the door?" I asked as I sat down.

"Them's tha Breaks. Biggest dern pones in town." He explained. "Twins even! Funny how tha' works. Anyway, le's celebrate!" Well, that at least told me something, I’m just taller than ponies. One mystery solved!

"OK. What's this stuff?" I asked, investigating the beverage before me . It wasn't anything like the bottles of Buckwieser like we had earlier. These were small glasses of brown liquid. They smelled a lot like the bourbon that mom liked.

"It's 'Roughshod', sweet corn whiskey. One of mah very fav'rites!" He said before grabbing his glass in his mouth and taking a swig. Actually, he drank the whole glass in one gulp! I was rather impressed, I figured that might be a little tougher for someone... I mean, somepony, to do.

Well, I thought that until I saw Nameless easily sipping at his glass thanks to his magic. Unicorns cheat. I might have a better ability to hold stuff than most ponies, but I still have to actually hold them! Also, more corn? Why would I want more corn?!

All the same, I didn’t want to be rude. I grabbed hold of my glass and took a quick sip. It was bitter like the Buckwieser, but it burned! Oh, Celestia did it burn! It felt like it was eating away at my gizzard; it didn’t taste like corn at all, either. At least when it reached my stomach it felt only pleasantly warm, as if it cooled during its trip down. When I was able to breathe again, I managed a weak cough. Now knowing what I was facing, I drank the rest of it down.

"HA! I knew ya'd like it!" Beer Can exclaimed, waving a server over "lemme git ya another round! My treat!"

He didn't let me protest, and another drink was poured into my glass. Beer Can had the waitress pony leave the bottle for us. It was almost completely full, I couldn't believe that we'd be able to drink the whole thing. Not with how that stuff burned.

Beer Can scooted over to Nameless, "So, bud, how'd ya win so much at tha tables?"

Nameless took a swig before answering. "It was easy after I figured out the patterns." followed by another swig, emptying the glass.

"Whaddya mean? Like countin' cards?" Beer Can asked bemusedly.

Nameless turned back to Beer Can, but his expression was still featureless. "Well, no. four ponies playing five card draw meant that about half the cards were used each time, so they'd have to be reshuffled with every deal. Counting cards wouldn't work. I realised that the players hardly kept the lower cards, they usually discarded them quickly. This left them much less worn than the higher cards they kept in their hooves, which had many creases, folds, and an occasional tear. After watching for awhile I found that I could tell what card was what. So after that I knew what to bet on." He explained.

"Have ah ever told ya that ya scare me sometimes?" Beer Can replied flatly.

I had to giggle a bit, I never had friends I could spend time with before. Not while I was in 'Claw, not until I joined the Talons. I really didn't regret it anymore, not after this!

Beer Can brought me back to reality. "Prancer, ya jus' gonna stare at tha walls, or ya gonna have some drinks with us?

I smiled, "Sure, I'll drink!" And drink I did. A few minutes in, my head started feeling fuzzy. Not like whenever my mom used to hit me for prying into her affairs, more like a faint feeling of elation. No wonder mom drank this kind of stuff all the time! I love corn!

Nameless poured us all another round using his telekinesis. I wished I could do that, it would make life so much easier. I could clean the house without lifting a claw! No sooner than I had picked up my glass again was a mare looking at me. Glossy-eyed and wearing something really frilly that covered everything but her rump.

"Hey, you. You... you're cute, you wanna come have some 'fun' with me? have a party?" she said with a hiccup and a giggle.

The question caught me off guard, causing me to stammer. "I, umm... I dunno, I'm kinda busy."

"Wha... what? Too busy for me? ME?! Fine..." She huffed and staggered off, muttering something about 'colt cuddlers'.

Beer Can lost it, "Wha ha ha ha! Ya crack me up, Prancer! Ya can't git laid even on accident!" He said, falling out of his chair.

I ignored Beer Can, I didn't quite get what he meant anyway. I really was kinda busy, though, I was spending time with my new friends! Doing... stuff. Oh, I had another drink poured for me? When did I finish the last one? I was still holding the empty glass. It was getting hard to remember things.

I exchanged glasses and took a swig. This stuff didn't burn so much anymore; still didn’t taste like corn, though. Also strange how everything felt fuzzy and out of focus. Like I was seeing everything through a hazy sheet of plastic.

I found myself in the middle of a conversation, I think I lost track of time. I didn't remember what had happened a moment before. I had just been talking to that mare, now I was looking at Nameless. I think he had just said something. Did he ask me a question? Why was my head on the table?

"Wha, what was that?" I slurred out.

"Hmm? I didn't say anything." He said. Believable, given his silent nature. Though, I could have sworn he did. “You were talking about your mother, then crying.”

“Oh.” Anger boiled up in me. “Fuck her! I… I wissh sshe wazzn’t so ded so I could kill her mysself!” I roared. After that I reached for my glass. There were a few there in front of me, but I couldn't find the full one...

I think I lost some more time, what happened? How do I keep going blank?

"You get that fucking smile off of your face!" Someone said in a very angry tone.

Oh! That's me yelling?! Why am I yelling? I saw a pony in front of me. He did have a disturbing grin. I recognized that kind of smile, it looked just like mom's, just before she...

"Or what, the crippled birdie is going to limp all over me?" He taunted, and struck me with a hoof right in my face. I couldn't feel it. I don't know if I was that numb or if he was that weak.

I laughed, "My mother hit harder than you!" I bellowed, right before I lunged at him.

I couldn't believe what I was doing, I leapt upon him. He screamed. I could feel him flailing underneath me. I had no idea why, but I had to get that smile off! I had to get rid of it! I had to...

I was back at the table. More time lost. What's worse was that the room felt like it was in a downward spiral. I set my talon on the edge of the table to steady myself. That's when I saw it, my claws were covered in drying blood.

"What happened?" I asked my friends at the table with me.

"Wha'da'ya mean, 'what happened'?” Exclaimed Beer Can, his face shocked. “Ya damn near tore a pony's face off is what happen'd! Yer lucky tha bouncers are 'fraid of ya! Otherwise they'd prolly up'n thrown ya out ‘stead of ‘im!"

"Actually,” Nameless interjected, “I don't think they're afraid of him so much as that they saw the horny mare talking to the stallion we just met. She seemed like she was claiming that Prancer insulted her or something, maybe she was looking for some pity?"

"An' how in tha hay did ya know that?" Demanded Beer Can.

"I read her lips." Nameless replied.

Beer Can looked flabbergasted. "OK, son, now ya REALLY scare meh! First, forgettin’ tha’ ya are some sort’ah card wiz, then ya finally start talkin’ after a few drinks, now ya say ya can read what a pony’s sayin’ by watchin’ their face?"

I felt sick, I hurt somepony. I also couldn't stop the room from wobbling senselessly. I just had to... something... It was hard to think, I couldn't keep track of... stuff...

The floor felt like it shifted from under me, where did it go? I think I hit the table. Then I fell. Hey! I found the floor. It happened to feel really comfortable, actually. I figured I’d just take a nap...

My world was dark, I couldn't see anything. I felt like I was floating. I think I opened my eyes, it really seemed like I did. Images started to form. Fleeting glimpses of things unrecognizable. I walked forward, feeling all four legs again, though my formerly amputated rear leg seemed very stiff for some reason. At least I had it back.

I could finally make out where I was, I was walking down a road I knew, but it wasn't one where I had ever been. It was a strange sensation, I knew where I was. I looked around, and found what I was sure to be there.

I found myself in front of the shack again. I could hear voices inside. I didn't want to go back in there, but I couldn't help myself. I hobbled up to the doorway and peered inside. Mom and Tarsus were there, sitting at the red table... drinking tea? Oh, the table was blue, wasn't it? No matter, it's red now. I found myself sitting at one of the chairs sitting beside it, a cup of tea already before me. I had no clue what the two of them were talking about, and their voices were wrong, like someone or somepony was speaking through them.

"Lookie here, ya owe me fer gettin' yer autodoc fixed up, so ah'm a'collectin' on tha favor." my mother said with Beer Can's voice. More red dripping onto the table from her gaping skull.

Tarsus turned to her with an angry look, "This isn't right, it's not safe. There's no guarantee it'll fit anyways, this cyber-interface might not be implanted right, it hasn’t been tested on a griffon!" She retorted in an unfamiliar voice. “Besides, I didn’t ask you to fix the Auto-Doc anyways!

Mom, or Beer Can I guess, shrugged. "Meh, them’s semantics. Quit yer worrying, Deadpan, Ah took tha meashur'ments an' made tha a'justments mahself! Ain't nothing goin' wrong!"

Tarsus, shook her head and kept speaking in the other voice. "Look, we can't do it, the safety protocols won't let a procedure start with that high of a toxicity level. How much did he drink?!"

Beer Can mom prodded Tarsus, pressing out gore from her chest. "So tern 'em off! Ya don't think yer good enough a doc ta fix 'im up? I can find a nuther doc 'round 'ere somewhere, won't be as good as you, though."

I felt terrible, this weird nightmare was getting too much. I vomited. It felt like boiling tar was flowing from my gizzard.

The stranger playing Tarsus batted Mom Can’s talon away. "Fine! I'll do it! Just because anypony else would kill him, you sick, sadistic mongrel! Help me shut him inside, then clean up his mess. And I swear I'm charging you double. And triple if you keep talking!"

I woke up in a strange room. It smelled like grease, bare metal and some other industrial-type things I couldn't identify. I found myself slumped over a fairly large bed. I could have sworn I had a weird dream, but I couldn't remember any of it. Didn't matter now, I had to get moving and figure out what happened since last night.

I regretted that thought. Sitting up was a bad idea. The room immediately began to spin violently and my head developed a throbbing ache. I reached for something to hold onto, I had to stop the building from spinning! I ended up on the floor, how did I get there? Did I fall? I had to have.

I dragged myself up off the floor and tried to look around. There were lockers and storage bins everywhere. I found a stairway down, it led to a small room, in what I assume was the back of the building, with a few kitchen appliances scattered about. I walked up to the refrigerator and peered inside, cringing as every step sounded like a bombshell going off around me.

I swear I will never drink another corn based liquid ever again. Fucking tricky vegetable, getting me to like it, then making me feel like I've been sucker punched by mom again. I guess it isn't so bad though, it’s not like this wasn't just any other Tuesday morning for me. First things first, my throat felt dry and I needed something to drink, badly. I'd be able to pay for it later, drink now. I was shocked to find it cold inside. That's what theses things do? There's a working refrigerator in the wasteland?! Simply standing with my head in the device was feeling so good!

I snatched up a... 'Sparkle-cola'. I've never had one of those, but I have always been curious, seeing as there were always advertisements everywhere in ‘Claw but absolutely zero stocked vending machines. I yanked the cap off with a twist of a talon and took a swig... It was ice cold, and delicious! Elated and feeling a bit better from the sugary, carrot goodness, if only a little. I stepped aside and kicked the door of the fridge shut with a... crunch? That was weird. Looking back at the refrigerator, it had a hoof shaped dent in the door. How did I do that? I quickly realized how, I had a… Oh, dear Celestia...

"HEY! Yew be careful with that, now!" I heard Beer Can shout to me.

Then I fainted.

-----
Quest completed: Burdens to "bear"

Level up!

+ 5 Speech
+ 5 Unarmed

Perk added: Good as Gelded

Let's face it, you have no clue how to talk to a lady. So, in hanging with the guys, you've learned how to hit 'em where it hurts, thus dealing an extra 1d10 damage to any male character as well as opening unique dialogue options.

Prancer might be straight, but really, it's not doing him any good...

Author's Notes:

Whoa nelly! That took me longer than I thought!

Anyways, special thanks all around to the wonderful authors Kkat, Somber, Stonershy, Hnetu and Mimezenga. All of you helped inspire me to write, and in Kkat's case, you gave me a setting to write in!

Thanks to Gamma Deekay for still being there to check up on my story and help me keep the flow of it going!

And especially you, my awesome readers. This story wouldn't be the same without you to share it with!