Chapter 1 - Ignorance was bliss.

It was a great day for once. I had just been accepted as a neophyte of the Talon company just as I had wanted for so many years. A few weeks of training and a short tenure as a probationary merc and I would be well on my way to earn the right to have my own contract drafted. I'm sure that mother will finally be so proud of knowing I'll finally be following in her paw prints. Though Dad had been killed in action many years ago, I'm sure he'd be proud as well while he was looking out for us from the great beyond.

It was nearly noon now, and I had to get going if I wanted to avoid mother's wrath for being late. I flew as fast as my wings would carry me, heading back to home where mother would be waiting. My hometown of 'Claw wasn't a very large place by any means, but it was nice enough. Being home to mostly Talon mercs, the raiders tended to keep their distance. Our only constant problem was the yao'guai, but almost all of the buildings were spread apart a fair ways from each other and raised above the ground on great struts by at least a dozen meters, so they didn't bother us much either.

Flying home was always the hardest part of training up to be a Talon, and it didn't help that mom was always chastising me for being such a weak flier. No-one knew why my wings ended up being so weak, but I don't know why she always made it sound like it was my fault. I hated the kilometer-long flight from the Talon office because it was particularly draining, this time barely making it to the front porch before my wings gave up on me. I opened the door and slipped inside the house, finding Mom was sitting on the couch like she did before work everyday.

"*huff* *huff* Mom! *gasp* I was accepted... *cough* as a neophyte!" I tried to convey my excitement, but it was hard to do so as the wear of the day’s flying completely caught up with me.

"That's surprising, seeing as you can hardly make it there and back" She said without even looking up from the mission reports she was glancing over.

"I'm finally going to be a mercenary like you and Dad!" I said with a grin as I walked around the front room, trying to get her attention. "Aren't you proud of me?"

"It took you longer than it should have to get in. Though, I guess I should be thankful to see you finally getting in at all." Her expression softened as she put the papers down. Still, she didn't smile. She never smiled. "I'll be out on duty tonight, see that your chores are done before I get back."

"Yes, mother!" I said enthusiastically, my chest was still sore from the last time I had forgotten to do all of them. I didn't mind the pain, mostly because mother always told me that if young griffons aren't disciplined harshly for their failures, they only grow up to be monumental failures. And there's no way I'm going to let mother down again!

With a brief 'harrumph' she got up and left, leaving me to my duties. Normally, that meant scrubbing down the walls, washing the windows, dusting the furnishings, and doing the dishes, but today was still a good day. I found that there were a couple shot glasses left in the sink, some loose coffee grounds on the kitchen table and the assortment of documents left laying on the front room table. The former two were cleaned and put away in short order but I left the paperwork where it was, not wanting mom to give me another whipping for 'disturbing sensitive intelligence'.

The plain, corrugated steel of the walls weren't in need of a cleaning as there were no signs of grime or rust to be seen, so I went straight to dusting. Surprisingly, there were quite a few things in the home that needed dusting, a couple of flowerpots (Mom had always kept them empty since Dad's passing for some reason.), a few awards given to the both of them by Talon H.Q., and several old pictures in frames. I paused, looking the old photos over for probably the thousandth time.

I had always found it interesting that one of the griffons at H.Q. had apparently been an accomplished photographer, and only Celestia knew how he had found a functioning camera in the wasteland. I followed the set of images along the wall, the whole set was arranged in chronological order. The first was a picture of my father dressed in his Talon gear. The way he looked made me think that he must have been the best merc out there, so stoic and serious. I always enjoyed the fact that my black plumage matched his, imagining that the bright speckles of gold in our feathers would match up like in a mirror.

Next to the picture of my father was the wedding picture of Mom and Dad. They both stood in a dilapidated chapel next to someone I haven't seen around 'Claw. The mystery griffon held a small, black book in his talon as he smiled at the camera. Dad was dressed up in some fancy pre-war getup and wore a bright grin, while Mother looked the happiest I had ever seen. The light hit her just right as she wore that gown, the normal frown she carried was replaced with the closest thing to a smile I have ever seen on her face. I laughed quietly to myself how the black and white image of this photo didn't do her a disservice, her feathers were already grey anyway.

I skipped over some of the more mundane photos to get to the last one, smiling slightly as I looked over it. It was the day H.Q. promoted mom to lieutenant and gave her command of her own platoon. She stood next to me in full gear, her listless eyes only punctuated how tired she had become after dad died. I could see the hint of the bruised eye I had that day, though not even the pain from that could dampen the happiness I felt for her then.

"I wish you could have been there, dad." I said with a sigh, dusting the frame lightly.

While I was finishing my chores, I faintly remembered a recipe that Dad used to make every weekend. He didn't have a written copy of it anywhere, but I could remember the smells of it vividly enough I might be able to make it myself. I remembered the scent of the broiled meat covered in brahmin butter and most of the certain spices he had rubbed it in. He always served it alongside a couple of baked potatoes, making my mouth water just from the thought of them. I had no clue where to find the potatoes, but I know that I needed ground pepper and onions to get the meat rub good enough. Those were common enough around 'Claw, not to mention Vanhoover as a whole, so they shouldn't take long to find and pick.

Leaving home, my still tired wings carried me out to the flat lands beyond the dried riverbeds to the east. I always enjoyed flying over what remained of the spacious forests that used to cover this part of Equestria, the serene landscape was always so peaceful. Sometimes I'd try to imagine what it would be like to be flying over them before the war, a lushous green blanket over the hills, teeming with all sorts of wildlife. Speaking of wildlife, my eyes were drawn to the ground as I spotted a decent-sized rat digging for something in the dirt.

"Hello there, tasty..." I muttered before diving down, enjoying the rush of cool air through my feathers. I flared my wings as reached out, snaring it in my talons tightly, feeling as its neck easily snapped while I twisted it. Pulling the strap on my pack to bring it around to me, I put the dead rodent in before turning back towards where it was digging. In a stroke of good luck, it was exactly what I needed, a pair of fat wild onions that lay half buried in the ground. Uprooting the whole of them, I put them into my bag as well and began to walk home, my wings now too tired to carry me much further today.

It would be nightfall before I actually got home at this rate, but with mother out, it would hardly be a problem. I always enjoyed the time that walking along the wasteland gave me, normally using that time to reflect on how things in my life were. Right now, I'm just proud of how far I have come on my way to becoming a mercenary. I know that Mom is proud, she just doesn't like to show it, but we both know that soon I'll be turning out to be just as good of a merc as dad had once been. All in all, things were good I guess, the only thing missing in my life, was dad.

"If only I had time to get to show you how well I've been doing, I know you'd be proud of me." I shouted out to the wilderness, hoping he could somehow hear me. The husks of the once great trees that crowded the land had always listened to me, but tonight was different. Never before had the forest answered.

A strained voice replied to me, making me pause along my walk. "Well, ah'd hate to be a bother, but ah'd be much obliged if'n yah 'done somethin' well' fer me..."

"Wait, is someone out there?" I asked again, waiting a moment for a response. "Ummm, hello?" I spotted a hoof pop up behind a large boulder twenty paces or so of the path up ahead. I ran over as I heard a groan echo out from behind it.

There was a bright yellow pony next to an overturned cart, grimacing as I came around the corner. He wasn't hiding the pain he was in very well as he lay on his side. Wincing, he leaned back and presented his rear left leg, a rusty bear trap had it's teeth sunk deep into him as his blood flowed out from it steadily. "Ah heard that ya'll were hav'n some troubles with 'Guai out here, but ain't this a might bit much?"

"Sorry, I guess. Here, let me help!" I took off my bag and tossed it a couple paces away. I grasped the jaws of the bear trap in my talons, pulling at them with the little strength I could muster. The jaws refused to move enough to open them up, yet giving way just enough to allow the distressed pony to slip out if his predicament without much effort.

He watched as I let go of the trap, the metal teeth closing with a loud snap. "Ahh! Many thanks, youngster. Ah'm sorry ah don't rightly have anything to give ya for yuh troubles." He dug into a saddlebag, fetching himself a healing potion. "Ah'm lucky that hadn't 'ave broken mah leg, woulda' ruined mah trip up here ta do some tradin'." The injured pony slugged down the potion greedily, wiping his muzzle with a hoof as his leg began to heal up. "So whossit yah been shoutin' 'bout?”

"Oh, my dad." I said solemnly as I picked up my bag and threw it back on. "He died years ago, I never got to know him."

"Ah'm mighty sorry 'bout that, youngster. Ah never rightly remember mah own father neither, I reckon It's just mah age catchin' up with me." He looked me over with an air of suspicion. "Yah dun look old 'nuf ta be a Merc, yah from 'Claw?"

This pony seemed to like to talk. The Talons I had met said that they all did, but I haven't really seen that many aside from the ones that are raiders trying to murder everyone they see. "Yes, I'm going to be a Talon soon enough!" I announced with pride.

"Oh! Yer goin' ta be a big griffon, eh? Sellin' out some services someday?" He asked with an eager smile. “Ah wouldn't mind hirin' on a big, young griffon mahself sometime soon.”

Yup, he talks a lot. I'm not exactly sure why everyone said that's a bad thing, I didn't mind it. It was indeed awkward, but kind of pleasant in a way. "Yep, I start tomorrow. But I should be getting going, Mr...."

"Mah name is Beer Can, ah'll be up'n these parts again in a while, Maybe ah'll look 'round fer ya when ah git up there. Take care, now!" and with that he busied himself with righting his cart of assorted things.

Back on my way home, I kept a quick pace along the trail, seeing as it was already dusk and I was already going to be late getting there. Even with having been able to rest enough to MAYBE fly back, there wouldn't be enough time to cook dinner before Mom got home, and I was already going to be sore enough come tomorrow. Weighing my options, I stayed on the ground. I hurried with what little speed I had left, jogging when I could to try to make up some time.

When I returned home, mother was already there waiting for me. The walk had taken longer than usual, but I know I'm not THAT slow, not to mention Mom only came back when something went wrong at work.

"Where did y...yah run off ta?" She slurred out as she looked up at me. Her yellow eyes were glazed over and she stunk of gin as she sat at the kitchen table, a nearly empty bottle sat next to an already empty one as she frowned.

"I went out to get us something fresh for dinner" I replied, pulling the rat out of my pack with a smile.

Mom's perpetual frown deepened as she looked at it. "Yah didn't clean out the car... carcassh after yah killed it. The meat ish probably tainted from ish entrils by now. Throw ish out."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think about it." I replied glumly, beating myself up inside my head for forgetting such a simple thing. How bad am I that she's drunk and she even noticed it! I decided to change the subject as she took another drink. "So, you're home early, how did the patrol go? Everything alright?" I new it wasn't, but I hoped it wasn't too bad.

Her frown turned to a snarl. "We losht Ravenplume tonight to a group of fuckin' raidersh! Whass worsh ish that we radioed fer reinforcements, and wha do we get?!"

I shrugged, barely making out her words through her drunken slurring as she tried to take a drink from the empty bottle. Grunting in frustration, she threw it against the wall. I sighed softly as I looked at the broken glass strewn about, knowing she wouldn't remember this tomorrow and blame me for not washing the walls when they smelled again.

She continued with her point, "We get orders ta fall back! Can you beleeff it? No reshribushton, no jushtice... We almosht weren't able ta collect her body..."

She began to shake. I couldn't make out if it was in rage or sadness, but I decided to once again change the subject. "Mom, I'll still make dinner for us. There has to be something in the cupboards." I got no response as she stood up and simply walked over to the front room, sitting down and angrily shoving the reports she had left on the table to the floor. How could H.Q. do that to her? How could they make her suffer so much after how hard she works herself for them?

I was relieved when I found that the kitchen did have a few things worth preparing. A can of beans and some Cram would make for a decent chili when I put in those onions I found. I frowned as I thought about how much I had wanted to make Dad's dish for her, knowing that it would have at least helped her cope with the loss of a wing mate. In short order I had finished chopping up the onions and had prepared the Cram, happy to find that it took only a turn of the gas knob and a few strikes of flint before the small cooking fire lit on the stove. All three ingredients were unceremoniously dumped into the one pot we had and left over the heat to simmer.

After a few minutes of making sure everything was cooking right, I decided to check on Mom again. She was still sitting in the front room, though now with yet another bottle, this time bourbon, on the table in front of her. I walked over and sat down next to her on our old couch, just about to ask if she was alright when she swung around hard, hitting me with a solid left hook. My head pounded as I found myself on the floor, feeling the familiar pressure of the swelling behind what was soon to be my bruised eye. There was my answer at least, she had to be sad. She only ever hit me that hard when she was feeling terrible about something.

I picked myself up and staggered back into the kitchen to stir the bland chili. There wasn't much more to be done with the meal, so I served up a bowl for Mom and set it aside, pausing a moment as my head was still a bit fuzzy. I thought about how the slop I made wouldn't have helped her feel better and that I should have tried harder to set up the meal Dad always made for her. A disappointing dinner was a bit less appealing at the disappointing end of a otherwise good day, so with a light sigh, I placed the pot into the refrigerator and closed it. Thinking about it, it was odd that we even did that, seeing as the refrigerator was a device that probably hadn't worked since the great war and didn't do a very good job at preserving food.

I grabbed a spoon and brought the bowl of chili to mother, heading upstairs without another word. My simple room was quite bare, a few trinkets of my younger childhood years sat on a shelf against the wall. A dresser with a small assortment of work clothes that were so well used, you might confuse them with a pile of rags that had been sewn together. What I was really looking forward to was my bed. The small, cushioned thing on an oversized frame with a single blanket atop it may have been a meager furnishing, but it was a welcome sight tonight. I flopped forward, simply laying upon it and finally relaxing, drifting away quickly into a dreamless sleep.

I awoke to the sounds of birds chirping outside, the first light of the predawn hours glowing through the cloud cover that had blanketed the wasteland since the war. It was a pleasant way to start a day I thought as I got up with a deep yawn and a stretch, expelling the last traces of sleep from my sore limbs. I winced as I felt the sting from my bruised face, trying to brush my speckled plumage into something presentable before I headed out of the room.

It was finally the day I've been working towards my whole life. The day the I finally get to become a Talon and make my parents proud. I grabbed the cooled pot of chili for breakfast, looking around to find that mother must have made her way to her own bed at some point in the night. In my haste to get going, I didn't even use a bowl, simply grabbing mom's spoon and quickly stuffing a few scoops from the cook pot into my beak. Once I had my fill, I put it back into the fridge and hurried out the door to get to training.

Enthusiasm drove me to fly faster than am sure had flown before, but my excitement soon waned, leaving me gasping in the effort to even stay airborne as the adrenaline wore off. Fortunately I had gotten up with plenty of time to spare, so a quick break halfway there to catch my breath wouldn't be any problem at all. Setting down near the store I had passed so many times before, I took a moment to take in the wonderful view to the eastern hills.

The sun was nearly cresting them, at least as well as it could given the ever-enduring cloud cover. I recalled from history lessons that the pegasi had closed up the sky when the megaspells went off, though I was never quite sure why they had done it, or why they never opened it. I was also once told that the Vanhoover area had always had constant cloud cover and that the only difference from before was that the war killed off most of the plants and creatures living in the wilderness.

Unfortunately, my time for reflection had been spent, the oddities of years long past, as enticing as they were, had to wait. Two quick breaths, a brisk canter followed by a flap of my wings was all it took to get me up again. It may just be fact that I wasn't all that strong of a flier, but I had always felt so liberated when I was in the air. I couldn't help but feel a twang of pity for the other griffons, who always seemed to take being able to fly for granted. It's true, being a griffon usually means that you can fly, but it is always viewed as being so mundane. I loved every minute of flying, even though it was always so draining to me.

As I approached, there was no question that this was the most important building in 'Claw, at least to the Griffons who resided there. The Talon office loomed before me as I wound through the other ruins in the city. Its imposing grey physique was originally built as a police department, its concrete walls and ballistic resistant windows were built to last. It came as no surprise when the company had chosen it to house the local Vanhoover H.Q. and training facility.

Shortly after entering, I easily found my way to the recruitment office door past the main desk. A section of the building I had not yet seen. Knocking as I opened it, I immediately noticed that the office was well furnished, a book case and a pair of chairs sat on the left, a large wooden desk sat to the right. I looked up and was greeted by a cheery griffon with a lithe frame, he was reclined in his desk chair with his paws up. There was a brief flash of recognition in his eyes when he saw me walk through his door, quickly pushing his chair out and getting up with a smile. I looked over the desk, noticing that he had a wooden plank that had been painstakingly carved out for him. The bold words read 'Staff Sgt. Swan Lightfeathers'.

"Ah, Prancer Thistledown, a pleasure to see you!" The smiling griffon belted out as he held his talon out.

"Umm, thank you. I don't believe we've met though, Sergeant Lightfeathers." I said with a smile, gripping the outstretched talon. His grip was strong for having such a... delicate name. Who names their son 'Swan' anyway?

"Mr. Lightfeathers will do, and no, we haven't met yet, not officially. My husband babysat you whenever your mother was away. Your mother spoke of you often during our... off hours." He said with a an odd kink in his voice as he nervously broke our talonshake. He walked around behind his desk and opened a drawer, pulling out a clipboard and placing it on his desk. "Mr. Thistledown, I would first like you to confirm for us that you acknowledge the fact that you do not meet any of the Talon Company minimum recruitment requirements except for age. You have scored at the bottom of nearly every competency test we gave AND have the lowest recorded wing power of any griffon since the great war."

"I know I have my shortcomings, but I'll more than make up for it in drive and determination, Sir." I stiffened up and gave my best salute. "I know it will be hard work, but I am willing to give it my all."

"At ease..." He said dismissively with a sigh, scooting the clipboard across to me. "Just sign your name at the bottom and I'll get you set up with the other recruits." I leaned forward and eagerly signed my name where indicated before he continued in a more serious tone, "I hope you can show me that you have more to drive you than just your family's name." With that, he directed me to a waiting area just past the reception hall.

Despite my break on the way here, I still seemed early. There was only one other aspirant here, a griffon I remembered from school named Strix. He and I never spoke all that much though, he was always busy reading an old book or some other studious activity, as he was doing now. That was fine for me, he always had a talent for making me feel dumb whenever we talked anyway. The waiting room beside the front desk was thoroughly decorated in Talon Company colors. Hanging prominently in a protective case at the center of the room was a recruitment poster predating the megaspells, urging griffons to sign up and fight against the zebras. A stern griffon was pictured on it with an outstretched talon, the caption reading; 'The ponies can't do it all! - Equestria is your home, too!'.

With a sigh, I sat down on one of the many chairs in the waiting room. Strix looked up from his book, some sort of weird textbook, what's 'biochemistry' for anyway? Seeing his face up close again reminded me that I had forgotten how much he looked like an owl with the round glasses he wore, he always had the plumage of his face brushed around in a disk shape from the lenses. I was glad to feel the urge to chuckle drain away as I put on my best 'serious' face.

"Hello, Prancer, you've finally been accepted too, I see." he was about to get back to his book, but something seemed to cross his mind, "do you think they have waived recruitment standards this year?"

"Huh? what do you mean?" The dumb was coming, I knew it.

"Well, it's just that there has been fewer Talons around. Casualties have been high this last year, fertility rates had fallen when we were young, the Yao'guai have become a nuisance and there have been reports of strange bandits in surrounding areas."

"How did you learn that?" Yep, two minutes in and he's making me feel stupid. It's fine, I don't need freakish booksmarts to be the best mercenary out there. What good are casualty and fertility rates when we have a contract to uphold? That's what we're supposed to worry about.

"It was in my parents' report on the current state of Talon Company. They make sure I read it to keep current on Talon business, making sure I know what's going on.” His expression darkened. “But they just kept pushing me to join up."

That was a lot different from what I was used to. "Oh, my mom doesn't like it when I go through her documents, and she always said that I only need to do what I'm told."

"I see. I usually just skim them, though. I never wanted to be a Talon, not really anyway." He sighed and glanced over at his old book.

How could he say that? To be a Talon merc was the height of Griffon society! What else was there in life? "Well, what do you want to do, Strix?"

"I want to set up a library, a real one, in a town that could use it. Not the incomplete set of shelves Mr. Bookbeak has tucked away in his empty shack he teaches in." He closed the book, pushing his glasses further up his beak. "Going through the Talons is my best chance to do that, I could eventually bid for some sort of education grant and get it built."

That sounded so... boring. Although, maybe that's just because I'd never actually seen a 'real' library. Or it could be just because I wasn't a complete egghead like he was. "Sounds perfect for you. So, like you were saying, what makes you think that they waived recruitment requirements?"

"Well," he said sheepishly, "it's because I was actually accepted. I never qualified before, then I'm suddenly approved as long as I sign a waiver. With the extra troubles the region is facing it makes it pretty clear, they just need extra members, qualified or not."

As congenial as he was, it was getting frustrating to talk to him. He always made being smart look easy. Fortunately a distraction appeared. The other aspirants had made it to the office. Two young hens; one a giant slab of muscle, the other a springy, grey ball of spirit. Staff Sergeant Lightfeathers was chatting with them in his same jovial nature he had used on me. I had managed to notice though, that they didn't have to sign the same waiver Strix and I had.

A few moments later and they headed our way. Swan was shaking his head about something.

"It appears that the last member of your group is not coming, so let's get started with the orientation. Prancer and Strix, I see you know each other already." He pointed to the slender hen with the grey-tipped feathers, "This here is my daughter, Gavii," then pointing to the big girl, "and her friend, Tarsus. Gunnery Sergeant Panzer Faust will be observing your initial test and training. We're likely to be short on time, so consider yourselves oriented."

The other sergeant entered the room from a door in the back. He took a few moments to size up all of us neophytes. I had no idea how, but he seemed to have a more grave expression than even my mother was capable of.

He turned to address Lightfeathers, "This sorry lot is the new batch?"

"All but one who hasn't shown up. I had decided it best that we..." He was cut off as another griffon burst into the office. There didn't seem to be a speck of color on him. "Cora! You are late! Get your tail over here and fall in line!"

"Yeah, sure." He mumbled, sauntering over to our group

Gavii giggled, "He's silly looking!"

"He's white." Tarsus blandly pointed out.

Strix cleared his throat and pushed his glasses back up, fanning his feathers back into their owl look, "He has albinism, a rare condition where his body can't produce any melanin resulting in almost zero pigmentation in his feathers, fur or skin."

Sergeant Faust Cleared his throat, "Ahem, if you are all done socializing, let's head to your initial testing." He motioned us to follow him out the door he entered from.

Through the door we found ourselves in a long hallway, It led past some private offices and the jailhouse towards a set of double doors labeled "EXIT". That door in turn headed out to the back of the building. Behind the Talon office was a stretch of road that curved around a few low, tree-covered hills.

Faust pointed towards a flag post beside the road. "Time for you fledglings to prove you belong here, all that you have earned so far is the right to show us!" bellowed Faust. Cora motioned as if to say something but was cut off, "SHUT YOUR BEAK! You may not speak at this time, cream puff!" He took in a deep breath before resuming, "Your first test is going to be a kilometer-long timed flight along the marked telephone poles. For no reason are you neophytes allowed to stray from this path! You will be met at the finish by Sergeant Lightfeathers. Keep in mind that there is only three openings for initiates. Any questions?"

My hopes died right there and then. Only three will pass; only three that didn't need the waiver. I know I'm not nearly as smart as Strix, but I could see where this was headed. All I could do was wait for this day to be over.

Tarsus broke the silence, "So, over half of us will pass?" Gavii giggled playfully at the stupid question.

The sergeant facepalmed, "Yes, slop for brains, that's basic math for you! Now get limbered up, with that question, you all have lost the right for all further questions!" He walked around us, slowly, eyeing each of us with a look so intense it made my knees weak. I couldn't help but feel depressed, I was never going to beat the other griffons. Still, I had to do my best. We all lined up at the starting flag, ready for the signal.

Gavii turned to Tarsus, "bet'cha can't catch me!" she sang. To which Tarsus simply grunted.

Cora didn't say anything, he seemed content to flap his wings, happy with his stark-white feathers. Then he was... preening himself? In public? I never thought that that was appropriate, mother always slapped me if I did.

Strix leaned over to me, "Prancer, I recall in a book once that in an endurance test you cannot use up all your strength in the first sections, save your energy for a sprint in the last stretch."

"Do you think that'll work?" Why would he be giving me advice if the two of us aren't even really in the running anyway?

"Well, it was written over two centuries ago by ponies for marathon races, but yes, I think so." He stretched his legs, keeping his eyes fixed down the road ahead.

Cora snorted, "What could eggheads writing books know about racing?

"Now that gossip time is over, will you all KINDLY SHUT UP!" interrupted Faust, "The hell is it with the constant chatter coming out of your ungrateful beaks!" He flapped strongly, boosting himself above us with surprising speed. "Ya know what? Time starts now! GO!"

Tarsus got off the line immediately, not saying a word. She was followed closely behind by Gavii, calling out to her, "Not fair, Tarsus! Wait for MEEEE!"

Strix nodded to me and we both took off. I felt a bit of pride seeing that my launch was more graceful than his. This little ego boost was short-lived though, Cora easily passed the two of us. I really didn't think I could get anywhere in this if I just paced myself, so I redoubled my efforts and pressed my wings to carry me faster.

After only a couple minutes, Cora seemed to be listing to the left after passing the third pole. He was going to cut the corner over the copse of trees heading between the hills. That wasn't right, Faust was adamant that we stick to the path and now I realized why. It wasn't that it was cheating, there was something alive in there! Something...thin and green... was moving, it spat something at me that soared high over my head. I tucked my wings back to trade some altitude for more speed. The thing's second spit missed me again, but tagged Strix behind me. He screamed in pain and began to fall.

"PRANCER!" he whined, doing his best to keep up with me.

I didn't have any hope of winning anyway, and the thought of mom losing a wing mate yesterday guided my thoughts. I had to help. I doubled back to catch him. I reached out for him, realizing at the last moment I had no hope of catching him. He hit the dirt hard, sliding along for a few meters before tumbling over. I managed to land safely, if a bit hard, just ahead of him. I looked back at him, he was clutching his side.

"S-seed pod, help... p-pull it out quickly!" he groaned

I ran to him, the seed pod had dug into him behind his ribs. Grabbing hold, I tried pulling, eliciting a squeal from Strix. The damned thing was already taking root! I had to think quickly and got idea that he'd never forgive me for going with, twisting the slender stem that protruded from his side as hard as I could. I have never heard anything that felt so loud as the noise he had made, not even my few experiences with firearms could compare. With the solid snap still fresh in my ears, I had broken the roots the pod was growing enough to yank it from him.

Tossing it aside, even I could tell that while that thing was now out of him, he needed more help than I could give. "Strix, what do I do?!"

"P...put pressure on it, push down on it, hold it shut..." He coughed out.

I had no idea if help could arrive in time, but he's the smart one, so I pressed my talons down on the hole in him. There wasn't too much blood coming out of him, relatively speaking I suppose, It was mostly sappy, plant goop. I looked around, trying to see if there was anything I could use to plug the wound. There was nothing but barren dirt and dead trees, but I could make out someone coming up the road. It was Sergeant Faust! He was carrying something with him, a yellow box? I've seen those before, he was bringing a medical kit!

"Good job, kid, keep holding that." Sergeant Faust said as he brought out a potion from the kit for Strix to drink.

As he drank, I could feel the wounds slowly knitting together under my touch. It was an odd sensation, but it was a good thing I was sure. Up ahead down the road I could see Lightfeathers leading the others back.

"What happened?" Lightfeathers asked once he touched down next to us.

"What's-his-name? Cora? He drifted too close and riled up the spore plants and nearly got this guy here killed" Sergeant Faust pressed a section of bandages against Strix around where I was holding, making sure the wound had closed cleanly.

"So I assume then that we won't need to resort to times for this test?" Lightfeathers didn't sound too disappointed at that.

"Nope, I've got my three. We won't be needing Cora and this bookworm isn't in any shape for training. So we won't need any other tests either." The gruff Sergeant spoke as he packed the empty bottle and bandages back into the case.

Cora leapt forward, "What?! Why not? I placed third in the race! I have the best physical scores!

Faust slapped him and yelled in his meanest growl I've heard yet from him, "You have the highest wing power we've seen in over ten years, the best flight times we've seen in almost twenty." He paused for a breath, "You are also the most selfish and prideful piece of alabaster horseshit this wasteland has ever squeezed out! Not only are you NOT going to be a Talon, you are going to be billed for the medical expense of this neophyte's injury!"

Cora looked astonished, his cheeks flushing red with rage. "You lied to me, then! I played your little game, placed in the three spots open and you cut me?!"

"I'm gonna say this once, then you had better be gone before I find something to bludgeon you with! It was NOT a race! When the hell had I ever said that?! It was TIMED in case we had all five of you follow the guidelines as I instructed you! Only then could it have been a race!" He paused for more air again, "Had you applied yourself you would have easily gotten the fastest time, yet you slacked off thinking it was an easy pass! Worse still, you cheated and nearly got a wing mate killed, so you had better get your sorry ass out of here!"

I think Cora finally got the hint, crying to himself as he left with a great deal of unintelligible whining. Wow, even I knew how to take comments like that with more dignity. I never doubted that Mother was right, all the yelling and pain toughened me right up!

"Prancer," I heard Strix mumble from under me, "please get off of me, it's starting to really hurt."

"Oh, sorry!" I hadn't realized that I was still pressing on his wound.

"Well, you little chickadees have it easy, no more tests today. Take the night off and I will have the rest of your training ready in the morning."

I nodded and headed back to the Office. Looking over my shoulder I could see Faust leading Strix to the clinic. Strix didn't look that bad from what I could tell, he was walking without help, though I have never had a seed pod in me, myself.

I turned and began to fly back to the Talon building. I was so happy to have been accepted. I know I had only barely passed, but it had to be something meant to be. I was actually going to become a Talon!

"Yay! Prancy made it!" Gavii shouted in an overly joyous, sing-song voice. "Between your teamwork skills, Tarsy's strong muscles, and my amazingly cheery attitude, the rest of training is sure be a breeze!" She took off into the sky without a moment's pause, followed unceremoniously by Tarsus.

It wasn't a long trip back, seeing how I never made it through the whole of the timed flight. I wandered through the halls I had seen earlier, up to the front desk where Gavii and Tarsus were waiting for me. Mother was there, too. She was arguing with Lightfeathers's assistant, who had apparently already been informed of the incident.

"...He passed him?! For what, being nice?" Mother shrieked, "That kind of leniency is going to get someone killed! I'm definitely taking this upstairs, Ooooh, HQ is just going to love this." and with that she pushed past the desk and into a doorway leading to a stairwell.

Gavii waved to me, "Prancy! This way!" Gavii beckoned, while Tarsus just smiled warmly.

I followed them into the bunk room, where Gavii told me that we had the pick of any of the dozen cots in the room. Having been given the option of picking whichever bunk I wished was quite the treat I assumed, but I didn't want first pick, seeing as they were the only ones to technically earn their spots. I gave first pick to Tarsus and Gavii and found myself a spot just across the aisle from them. I could hear them whispering to each other, but I just wanted to lay down and get some rest. Tomorrow was going to be ten times tougher, and I needed all the rest I could get.

Settling in, I wasn't sure how I could fall asleep. I was very excited about the next day, my first Actual day of training. I was going to do all the things I've been waiting for, I'm certain I'll do much better than when I'm struggling to fly! There was nothing I would let stand in my way from making a name for myself, not when I have made it this far! If only... I could get... to sleep...

I found myself flying high, panting hard to keep up enough air, but it didn't feel uncomfortable in the least! I was finally flying above the clouds! I had never been this high, the sun shining down on me. I couldn't believe I was actually all the way up here, it couldn't be possible! I realized that there had to have been some other thing that got me up here, I've never been able to fly above the cloud cover, let alone touch it! Something about it was just... wrong.

I began to wonder about that, what did get me up here? where did whatever it was go? The thought started to gnaw at me, growing like an itch I couldn't scratch. The fear was building, there had to be something. I looked around. There was nothing around, just more clouds, above me was only empty, blue sky. I dared to look down, and the clouds parted. There was a beautiful landscape below! Lush, green hills and craggy peaks. I pondered how sharp the rocks must be on those mountains under me.

...and that's when I began to fall.

I was awoken to Faust's elated voice, "Good morning, initiates! This is the last fun day you'll have in training!"

He had a few vests, a couple rifles in tow and a machine gun slung on his back. The three of us drug ourselves out of bed slowly. What did he mean by that? wasn't this just the first day? It took me a moment to figure out his statement, that he planned to make everything harder on us than anything we saw today.

We each collected a vest and a rifle, except for Tarsus, who was given the LMG on a battle saddle due to her size. Her vest was actually a size or two too small, so it had to be left open, which for some reason seemed to entertain Gavii as she poked at her with her talon. I looked down, the old rifle felt weird in my talons as I looked it over, it was kinda front heavy, but I didn't know much about prewar weapon designs. That would be something Strix would have probably made me feel dumb with again anyway. Gavii didn't seem bothered by the size or weight of her rifle, she was looking it over, playing with all the controls and moving bits.

"Instead of just letting you useless cubs waste a lot of actually useful bullets on sheets of plywood or paper, today we're going to use much more useful targets for you to train on" He puffed himself up a bit, "You lot are going to clear out those spore plants on the hillside. They are both a danger to Talon company operations and incredibly hard to get rid of! I expect nothing short of a spore plant genocide on that hill by the end of the morning!"

I was aghast! How was I supposed to just go back to those things, on purpose, no less! The look of Strix's wounds were still burned in my mind. I didn't think that the sight would ever fade. All the same, Faust wanted us to go kill them, so we must. A Talon follows orders.

"What the hell are you waiting for, a formal invitation from HQ!? Get moving, initiates!" His voice made me jump, I nearly fumbled the rifle out of my talons as he waved his arm to the door. "You should all remember the way! Once there, report to Sergeant Lightfeathers, he's waiting there with your 'specialized spore slaughtering ammunition'!"

The three of us headed through the backdoor into into the long hallway again to the double "EXIT" doors. Once airborne from the back of the building, we flew back down the curved road until we found Lightfeathers as we were told. He was holding a large pouch filled with something heavy.

"Good morning, initiates. Sergeant Faust has planned a cute party for you, you are going to render a service to the Talons early in your careers," he turned to me and smiled, "Prancer, I assume you want to deal out some payback for your friend, too?"

He was right. Strix was deserving something for what he went through. I felt a bit of anger welling up towards these pests. I nodded eagerly and pulled my rifle close.

He continued, "The goal today is to put enough bullets into these bastards to knock them down so another unit may burn them out safely." He began pulling things from his satchel, "Here's a few magazines for your rifles, load up, keep the safeties on and wait while I help out Tarsus with her weapon."

Gavii held one of the bullets in her talon and looked over it intensely. "But Sergeant Faust said that these were super special bullets. They look pretty normal ta' me!"

"Yeah, sure." Lightfeathers let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. "They're only special if you believe they are. Does that help?" Gavii let out a happy squawk as Lightfeathers finally fit a magazine into Tarsus's light machine gun. I finished loading my rifle as Faust made it up to us. He had a satchel of his own he was carrying, looking at least as full as the one Lightfeathers had.

"Ooo! Ooo! Are those special bullets as well!?" Gavii nearly shouted as she lightly took off, doing a flip before landing. Her constant excitement was really starting to wear on me, maybe mother had a wing mate like her and that's why she was never happy.

"You little featherkittens get ready to get to work?!" Faust announced, "Prancer, I assume that you remember where they are, so you're up first!"

I certainly did know where they were, even now I could see them from the road where I stood. I wasn't sure though if I could hit them at this range, they all looked so dang small. "How do I hit them from here, sergeant?"

"You don't even..." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, "Look, It's simple, point the front sight on the target and line them up in the rear sight. Then exhale a breath and squeeze the trigger until the rifle fires. This isn't like we're crafting a damned megaspell here!"

OK, I could do that...at least, I think I could. I held up the rifle and placed the sights on the shifting plant as I was told. I could just barely make out what looked like a face. A grinning face. I pressed my talon against the trigger ever so gently until I felt it go off. I then found out why the rifle was designed so heavy on the front, as it barely jumped from the recoil. I noticed something that was rather disheartening, though. I missed.

"Prancer, keep your eye focused on the front sight, not the target! Fire again!" Sarge barked into my ear, only confusing me. How is that supposed to work? I need to see the target, but I'm not allowed to look at it? I lined up the sights again, focusing on that front post. The grinning thing's outline blurred as I thought about how it felt oddly symbolic. When the spore plant was out of focus, all the mattered was the rifle, the shape behind it was a thing that didn't matter anymore.

Then I squeezed the trigger, this time holding the rifle tighter.

With the shot's report drifting off through the hills, the green shape wobbled, nipping at the air around it as it drooped over to the ground. I don't think it was grinning anymore.

"There ya go, kid, ya got it. Now safety your weapon and wait with Lightfeathers. Giggles! You're up!"

I made my way over to Swan and Tarsus who were still working on getting her battle saddle set straight.

"Prancer, I need a little help with this. Tarsus has her girth strap tangled and I can't reach all the way around her." He said, punctuated by Gavii's rifle fire.

"Sure" I said as I pondered how to get the strap loose. It looked as though it was just wrapped around itself. I stopped when I heard Gavii fire again. She was laughing. I really thought that she was having too much fun. Looking to the mess of Tarsus's gear again, I moved to grab it out from under her, but I hesitated a moment, was she blushing? She turned away from me to stare straight ahead, so I just back to the issue and pulled the strap clear. "Now what, Sergeant?"

"Buckle it in, tightly, then loop the remainder of the belt over itself"

I pulled it around her and buckled it in. There wasn't any slack left over and was buckled nearly into the last hole of the belt. I noted that Tarsus was breathing heavily and shaking a bit.

"Is it too tight, Tarsus?" I asked. She just shook her head.

Gavii bounded towards us wearing a gigantic smile. "Tarsy! It's your turn, Faust wanted me to leave ya' somethin' to shoot at. And how could I not let you try when it's so much fun!"

Tarsus nodded and moved up to learn the basics of shooting. Faust was talking about things like 'suppression' and 'controlled fire'. A moment later she opened fire onto the hilltop. Her weapon had an impressive chatter as it fired, the bullets throwing splinters from trees and tossing showers of dirt from where they hit on the hill. I couldn't imagine that the spore plants could have survived.

Faust patted her shoulder and motioned us over. He pulled his bag around in front of himself and pulled out a couple metal spheres. If they were just a bit bigger, they'd have looked like really smooth wild onions.

"Well, now that those are dealt with, time for you badasses in training to really let it fly. We're going to make sure you know how to use basic explosives without killing yourselves." He pointed down the road to the south, the opposite way from our first test, "almost two kilometers is an old convenience store. It's a far better place to let you light stuff up than here in town." He turned to Lightfeathers, "Swan, radio back and let HQ know that the hill is ready for some phosphorous. We're moving ahead."

We headed south from 'Claw, we were heading the furthest I would have ever been from home. Faust set a fairly slow pace, presumably to let Lightfeathers catch up later. I was mortified at the thought of flying two kilometers while wearing my gear. I had never flown that far at a time, I hardly even flew that far in a single day! It was helpful to have a group to spur me on, still, I was running out of breath. Even at our slow pace I wouldn't be able to keep up. The rifle I had slung underneath me felt like it weighed more every second. I heard something behind me, looking back I saw sergeant Lightfeathers approaching us at a good speed, now carrying a weapon of his own.

He called out to me, "Cheer up, Prancer, we're nearly there!"

Really, were we? Looking ahead of us I could see a large signpost standing in front of a building beside the road. Faust pointed downwards and began to land, so we followed him down.

"Alright, my little, downy hens. We finish the trip in the dirt. Spread out along the road, and get ready. We are now practicing patrolling, so keep your eyes open and beaks shut! Faust ordered.

We only had several hundred meters left to go. Several hundred empty meters. This was the first truly boring part of being a Talon initiate so far. I couldn't believe mother really did patrols like this each evening. At least it didn't take long to get there, having caught my breath in that time as my legs were far easier to use than my wings. Once we had arrived at the store, Faust and Lightfeathers turned and addressed us.

Sergeant Lightfeathers started off the lecture, "As per standard training, we are going to practice fragging this pre-war shop. Thrown grenades are extremely dangerous, they have a lethal radius of five meters and a wounding radius of fifteen. Sometimes fragments may even travel over a hundred. A good throw could get about thirty meters in range, and I don't have to tell you that's well within the danger zone, so make sure to get yourself down once the grenade is thrown." he waited a moment, letting it sink in, "Grenades are best used by throwing them into a room or around a corner. Somewhere where you can put something solid between you and what needs to be blown up."

Faust nodded, "This building aughtta' be perfect. Reports show that a firefight broke out a day ago here and was left abandoned. Leaving it a ripe training ground to teach you kids how to use a grenade without killing yourselves." Faust continued as he unslung the satchel from himself. Movement inside the convenience store caught my eye, as I squinted, I could make out a few shapes inside moving about. Pony shapes.

Unexpectedly, we came under fire. Following the Sergeants' lead, we all dove to the ground, dropping behind a large fallen tree that sat alongside the road. I was rather impressed how Lightfeathers had his submachinegun at the ready as soon as he hit the dirt, but he didn't seem to be too sure how useful it would be as he pulled it close.

"Damnit! There wasn't supposed to be any raiders left here!" cursed Lightfeathers

"These ain't raiders. Raiders would have run out after us by now, yelling and screaming and practically lining up for us to hand out bullets." replied Faust, "These have gotta be something else!"

"So what do we do?" I yelled over the roaring gunfire.

Faust laughed, "Today's training has now changed to 'live-fire room clearing'! Beefcake! Get up to that rock and lay down suppressing fire!" He ordered, pointing to a small boulder ahead. "Everyone else on me, were gonna toss some grenades in then kick down their damn door!"

As soon as Tarsus began firing we moved up, keeping our heads down. No-one was shooting at us now, though, I could see that they were focused on firing blindly at Tarsus. I at least hoped that they were firing blindly and that Faust was wrong. Mom always said that raiders could hardly hit the broad side of a barn from the inside, but I never wanted to actually test that theory.

My hopes were cut tragically short. A shot rang out from a broken hole in the wall of the store. I could see Tarsus flinch, but she kept firing, pouring rounds into the convenience store, at least until her magazine ran dry.

Slowly, she slumped over, landing on her side. I slipped along the log we had used for cover, running back over around the rock to her. Blood was beginning to pool from a wound on her chest as I knelt down next to her. I fired blindly at the opening the shot came from, my weapon gave a sharp clack as it ran empty. I drew a fresh magazine and attempted to replace the old one, but I fumbled them attempting to juggle both the old one and the new one in one talon. they landed in the dirt with a thud.

I was reaching for another magazine when I heard Faust yelling, "FRAG OUT" he said, followed by a couple muffled 'whumps' from inside the building. I peeked my head around the rock as Lightfeathers and Gavii ran inside, hearing a couple more gunshots ring out...

Then silence.

I turned back to Tarsus beside me. What do I do? She's bleeding all over! What would Strix do? Aha! 'apply pressure', that worked before! I pressed on the wound. I pressed my talons down against it as I felt Tarsus relax, starting to panic when I could feel her heartbeat slowing. I needed more help!

"Sergeant! She needs help!" I called over my shoulder. No response.

"It's OK, I don't feel bad about anything, my daddy told me I'd find a nice boy I'd spend the rest of my life with." she said happily, "I'm glad it was you."

"I really don't think that this is what he meant!" I cringed as my heart pounded. "SERGEANT, I NEED HELP!"

"Doesn't matter to me, I finally got to talk to you." She said, giving my leg a quick nuzzle, then she laid back and closed her eyes. I felt her take one last breath... then nothing...

She was gone. I couldn't think of anything to do or say about it, so I stood there, staring for what felt like hours. I could already feel her blood drying on my talons and paws in the wasteland's heat. I could hear the others moving about now, topping off their weapons and checking for anything to salvage. They felt so far away, so I had thought, until Lightfeathers brought me back into reality with a gentle nudge.

"You two should get back to base." He told Gavii and I, "We'll... handle the rest here. Turn in your gear, get cleaned up and get some rest."

I nodded dumbly. I could almost feel a ringing in my ears, one not from the gunfire but a distant hum in the back of my head. Gavii flew off ahead of me with tears flowing down her beak, leaving me to walk in silence. I thought back on where I first met Tarsus but I couldn't remember it. She was younger than me, so we wouldn't have been in school with Strix and me learning from old Mr. Bookbeak. Remembering him was a welcome distraction and put a small smile on my face, I was never told his real name, only having heard that everyone from his unit before he retired called him 'Bookbeak' and it really stuck. Still, that didn't answer my thoughts. 'Claw wasn't much more than the Talon office, a store, the "library" and the private homes of the mercenaries, I had to have seen her before.

It dawned on me, I had seen her, but that was it, nothing more than passing glances around town. We never spoke to each other, not once, which explains a bit of what she meant earlier. I'd see her when I was running errands for mom, a quick glance, a brief smile. Why did I never talk to her? Was it because she was always busy with Gavii? Maybe, it would have been rude to interrupt them. Though how could I not, they were inseparable.

Oh well, it's too late now. All the conjecture in the world won't help bring her back. I was already halfway back to the office, so I gave up on my thoughts and took to wing, ignoring the soreness in them as I pushed myself to fly. The hum at least died down while the wind whipped past me, the scenery was all a blur while I flew the rest of the way to the office doorstep, I wasn't able to bring my eyes into focus on anything. I didn't even really register that I had flown a whole two kilometers during these assignments. It just didn't seem like an accomplishment to me after today.

As I entered through the front doors I was met by a young griffon at Lightfeathers' desk. I was confused at first by her look of shock, but quickly realized it was most likely because I looked like I had ripped something apart with my claws and talons alone. I spoke up quickly, before she could freak out or something. "Quartermaster's office?"

She didn't reply, she just pointed off to my right. weird how I hadn't noticed before that it was just past the bunk room and across from the washroom. walking up to the door, I saw the name placard stating 'Lt. Calico Rackkam, Quartermaster'. I stepped inside, but I didn't see anyone.

"Uh, lieutenant Rackkam? Initiate Thistledown to drop off a rifle." I announced

"Yes, fine. Leave it on the table, and don't give me your damn formalities!

"OK... sir..." I stood for a moment, lost in thought about how Tarsus was just... gone.

"Whatever, just don't talk to me like your mother, and do grab a bottle of water or something and one of those rags on the counter, you stink!"

While setting down the rifle I could see the quartermaster working on some sort of long tube. He was unbolting a large casing from the side of it. "Look, I can still smell you there..." He started to say as he turned to me, "Sweet Luna's sunless nethers! What happened to you?!"

"It's a long story, where did you say the water and rags were?" I replied

He pointed to a neat and tidy set of shelves, "Right there, now please leave me be. I have a missile launcher here that some idiot jammed up tight and I'd really hate to explode this early in the day!" and with that he returned to his work.

I took them and walked to the washroom across the hall, stepping inside and plodding over to the one sink left standing. I looked into the mirror, my green eyes stared back into myself in the broken glass. If I didn't know better I might not have been able to recognize my own fractured image. could this be what mom felt at the end of each day? How does she manage to even get up every morning?

Trying my best to clean off the blood and grime, managing to get back to some semblance of normality. Having the rest of the day off from training wasn't a blessing, not today. I had no drive to do anything, yet without something to busy myself with, I found my thoughts haunting me. I wandered back towards my bunk and fell into a reverie of last week. Without this Talon business I'd be cleaning the house, doing the dishes, scrubbing, dusting... Oh, how I wished to have those picture frames here. I know I always looked at them every day.

I was almost to the small barracks set up for the initiates, time not seeming to have any sort of regularity through my haze. I focused on imagining what dad would do, I'm sure he would find a way to carry on, some way to find meaning in what happened. As I reached the doorway to the bunks I could hear a soft crying. Looking in I saw Gavii sitting on her bunk, her head in her talons as she trembled softly. I knocked on the door frame, I wasn't sure if I should just come in, not wanting to upset her further.

She looked up at me, "Hi, Prancy." She had said, her voice a weak shadow of the last couple days.

Crud, what do I say about this, "Do you, umm, want to talk? About... stuff?"

She giggled lightly and nodded. Laughter, that's good, right? "Prancer, you're as bad at talking about stuff as Tarsy, aren't you?"

She scooted over on her bunk. Did she want me to sit down? Hesitantly, I decided she did and set myself down beside her. "I've never had the chance to talk much, so, I guess I haven't had a chance to get good at it."

"Tarsy didn't talk much either, not unless we were talking about you." She smiled as she said that. Girls are confusing, first sad, then giggling, all at a time like this. "She was too shy to talk to you, though. She was afraid that you weren't interested in ladies, either."

"Why would she think that?" I liked girls well enough, I just, never thought about her like that.

"You always acted so scared around them," she pondered it a moment "maybe that's the wrong word. I guess you just avoided them, or something."

"Do I? I never thought I did that." I really didn't, did I? Even on a good day, I have no idea how to talk about girls. I need to redirect the focus, "So, if she talked about me, then who did you talk about?"

"Me... Well, I always talked about Strix. He's great and all, but..." she curled her paws and talons in, balling into herself as she cried again. "OH CELESTIA, I LOVED HER!" Gavii's voice resonated in the room as I just sat, not sure what to say. "All those years, she never knew and now that she's gone..." She let out a soft wail as she sobbed. I put my talon around her back, patting her gently. This was as far as I ever got talking with mom when she was sad, she always started hitting me after this.

"Thank you, Prancy, I'm just going to need some time to myself. I'm glad she found the strength to tell you how she felt." She looked up to me and smiled softly. "I guess I don't have a reason to refuse Strix anymore, do I?" said as she moved to playfully punch me in the shoulder. I don't know why, but I flinched. I don't even flinch when mom hits me. "...you ok, Prancy?"

"Yeah, I think so... I guess... probably not. Maybe we aught to just get some sleep." I surmised.

"OK, that sounds pretty good right now anyway. Night, Prancy."

I pulled off my vest and set it on my footlocker, getting irritated at the hum in my head, it had returned with a vengeance. I was sure though that I would feel better after some sleep... But as I lay there, I couldn't help as my thoughts replayed that moment outside the building. Closing my eyes only made the images and sounds more vivid. More and more, I couldn't understand this life. Each day filled with exhaustion, pain, fear, sorrow. I have yet to see any upsides.

I sighed as I lay there, the ringing winning out over the sounds of the HQ. As all I could do was focus on the sound, I felt ashamed that part of me wondered if this life was really the best one for me. What would Mom say to that? What would Dad...

I couldn't recognize where I was. Everything looked familiar, sounded familiar, even smelled familiar; though I just couldn't place it. I could see a squalid, tin building ahead. The door was open. I felt a knot forming in my gut. I wasn't able to tell what, but something impelled me towards this shack. I stepped through the doorway and waited for my vision to adjust to the gloom. In the center of the room was a big griffon sitting at a red table. It was Tarsus! how could she be here?!

She looked up from the table, "Prancer, you're back!"

She smiled, just looking back at me. I could only stare agape at what I saw, I thought I lost the chance to get to know her! I stumbled over to her and set my talon upon the table to steady myself. I know I had only just 'officially' met Tarsus, but there was something about her that I couldn't resist. She was pretty, although I had never quite seen her beauty before. Mother would like her, a bit simple, but that's not really that bad, right?

It had dawned to me as I lifted my talon off the table, seeing the flaking, light blue paint underneath. It wasn't red, it was covered in Tarsus's blood. She was still bleeding from that ragged hole in her chest. She started choking up more in wet, raspy coughs. The coughing fit didn't subside, it worsened. She sputtered, hacking up more of that crimson and spattering it on my face.

"No... no, no, no, no!" No matter how I tried, I couldn't get away.

She stood up and was moving to hug me. All I could think of was that she was going to drown me! There was only one thing I could do, I screamed.

I awoke to yet more screaming, though not my own. The sergeant's voice rung in my ear and startled me up as I jumped out of my bunk. I didn't even remember getting to bed, let alone drifting off.

"Initiate Thistledown! You have new orders!" He barked, "Get your gear on, you're moving in ten minutes!"

I blinked and spoke dumbly as my brain tried to collect itself. "But Sergeant, how do I already have orders? I thought there was more training to do..."

"If I questioned my orders as much as you have, Initiate Thistledown, they would have kicked me to the dirt so hard that even the fucking earth ponies would think that I grew in as part of their fucking summer harvest!" He stiffened up and took in one of his trademark deep breaths before he continued. He seemed more ragged this morning, probably having just as hard a time with Tarsus as Gavii was. "You were requested by name, initiate, you don't get to question it! Now get the fuck off your lazy flank and get moving!"

At least fetching my gear was easy, I hardly had anything besides my standard issue training vest. Hell, I hadn't been issued a personal weapon nor did I have any caps to buy one straight off of the quartermaster. I pondered about asking about using one of the rifles, but as the Sergeant left, I decided that the orders would probably detail anything extra I needed anyway.

I made my way hesitantly to the front office to receive my assignment from Sergeant Lightfeathers. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why I was chosen for a job, there had to be someone else better suited, even Gavii or Strix would have been better. Dang, this had to be what mom and Sergeant Faust kept talking about, just do what you're told. Lightfeathers spotted me as soon as I rounded the corner to the front desk. He had a grave look on his face and his eyes were bloodshot. Had he not slept well or had he been crying? Both maybe? Regardless, he didn't seem himself. All the same I walked up to the counter and saluted.

"Initiate Thistledown reporting for orders!" I exclaimed, trying to present myself as best as I could for having woken up two minutes prior.

"Yes, I have your dossier here." Sergeant Swan said without his usual enthusiasm, "You have been selected to run a covert reconnaissance op tonight, the goal is to confirm the location of a target we have been commissioned to eliminate."

That didn't sound too hard, no wonder they wanted me. A job to walk up, observe, and walk out again would be perfect. I was just about to open the folder I had been given when Lightfeathers held out another object towards me.

"You should take this too," It was his 10mm submachinegun, "Though I certainly hope you won't need to use it, but if it comes down to it, don't hesitate." He turned and left as soon as he finished speaking, disappearing through the door in the back of the room. I opened up the sealed envelope, reading as it detailed a location about five kilometers outside of town. It also reinforced that it must be completed tonight, lest the target moves on. That was unfortunate, that meant that I had to get moving immediately, I had at least wanted to see if Gavii was alright. But just confirming that the target was there shouldn't take too long.

Seeing that there was little left to do I left the office, nearly running into mom at the front door. "Sorry, mom! I didn't mean to get in your way!"

"Hurrying off somewhere?" She asked with the faintest ghost of a smirk. Was that... pride? Did she actually just smirk in approval!?

"Yes, mom, I have an assignment!" I said, feeling my own pride swell, "I have to be going, see you afterwards!" And with that, I headed out the door. For a brief moment, the misfortune of the last few days disappeared as I jumped over the gate of the Talon office, feeling as the air caught under my stiff wings.

As I flew off towards the cliffs as instructed, the journey took me south over the old building we fought at yesterday. I felt guilt well up inside me as I spotted the blood stained rock where Tarsus died. I pushed myself hard, trying to keep the images of yesterday from coming up again. I needed to stay focused, this wasn't training any more. 'Claw was relying on me to do my duty, and most of all, this was the one time that I had seen mom relatively happy, and there is no way I will risk disappointing her!

But as of now, I was out of 'Claw and unsure if I could even make rest of this journey by wing after how much flying I had been doing this week. Usually a trip across town was more than enough to get me winded, only getting better when I had made the one kilometer flight between the Talon office and home a couple dozen times. But with as far as I had flown both yesterday and today, I'm afraid that I won't be able to make the return flight, let alone the trip there.

My wings protested sharply, feeling more and more like lead weights on my shoulders. I couldn't give up though, I was almost to the target zone and just needed them to give me a few minutes more! I cringed as my flight muscles had no intention of hearing this plea, forcing me to descend as I could feel a cramp coming on. My tired wings had only enough left in them to glide down just shy of a hundred meters from the foot of the cliff, groaning in pain as I folded them up. I thought that they had hurt before, but I know that they would be seriously sore tomorrow morning, probably sore enough that I would be forced to walk back. I cringed at the prospect of getting that far before sunset and straightened myself out, continuing along towards my assignment. After a few minutes of rest, I clambered onto a large rock that provided me a much better viewpoint.

Looking at the enormous rock face before me, I found the craggy hole at the bottom that was described in the mission briefing. This had to be where the big 'gaui from the mission files was hiding! I froze as I was struck with an inspiring thought, H.Q. knew next to nothing about the beast. If I could get closer and observe it, I might be able to find a weakness that could end the problem that the whole town faced! Then the Talons could actually focus on culling raiders and protecting caravans, which is what they came out here to do in the first place. Most importantly though, it would certainly make Mom proud of me! She'd have to smile once she learned I was a pivotal part of taking it down.

I carefully picked my way across the arid stretch of land, winding around the boulders that lined the area around the dark entrance, trying my best not to make any noise, just like keeping from waking mom up in the morning. About fifteen meters away, the path opened up into a flat pan of dirt leading to the cavern's mouth, the stench of rotten meat permeated the air. I felt my pulse quicken as I inched towards the wide hole, peering into the cave slowly to meet a pair of milky-white eyes glowing back. A deep growl rumbled from the entrance and it plodded out into the moonlight. Not only was it much bigger than I ever thought it could have been, it was missing patches of its skin and actually WAS the source of the smell of rot.

I pressed myself against a nearby boulder as it stopped and sniffed the air for a moment. I held my breath as it looked about, seemingly unaware of my presence. I used this chance to look it over in detail, not noticing any particular part that could be exploited in an attack. I felt the wind pick up behind me, feeling amazingly good as it flowed up through my sore wings. The Bear snorted, swinging it's head over to me with a low growl. Shifting winds had given my scent away! The bear took a step towards me as Lightfeathers' instructions flashed through my mind. "Don't hesitate." I muttered to myself and aimed my SMG up, giving the trigger a quick squeeze to fill the air with the gun's staccato report.

The 10mm rounds bit into the putrid hide of the mammoth fiend, not having the effect I had hoped for as the bear appeared to be completely unfazed. With a roar, it charged at me, forcing me to fire another burst, unknowingly emptying the magazine of my weapon. The second burst had no more of an impact than before, and my legs started to shake, never in my life felling this amount of sheer terror. The hammer of the gun made a 'click' as it struck on an empty chamber, helping my brain force me to act. I turned to flee, practically falling over myself as my limbs didn't want to co-operate, slamming into the dry dirt with a loud thud.

Before I could scramble up, the monster snarled and grabbed my hind leg in its powerful maw. I wailed in pain and felt my thigh burn as it was crushed in the enormous, decaying jaws, the hollow snaps from my bones echoed through the night along with my scream. I clawed the dirt as the ground was ripped from me, the bear flung me away as the it reared up and twisted it's head. It let out another deafening roar as I sailed through the entrance to the cave, tumbling end over end. I knew that even if I were a great flier, I would have found there was little chance for me to right himself before I crashed back down into the dirt. I yelled in pain as I tumbled along the dirt, skidding slowly to a stop while the Uberbear growled at me.

I could barely lift myself up, let alone fly away before the creature loomed over me. I couldn't do anything but lay there in agony as a horrifying realization came to the front of my thoughts. I was going to die. I looked around the cave in panic, trying to find something, anything I could use to help. The interior of the cave wasn't what I had expected, looking more like a home than a cave. I felt the heavy stomps as the enormous bear followed me in. I looked over my shoulder in horror as it reached it's paw up, each thick claw glinting in what little light was left, bracing myself to share in as horrific an end as Tarsus had, the image of her from my dream would be the last thing I thought about before I died.

A single gunshot that came from behind the bear, the report was sharp and loud. I watched in awe as the massive beast wobbled and fell to the ground beside me, barely making out the jagged shape of its ruined skill from his spot in the dirt. Chunks of the bear's gaping head gleamed in the light from someone's lantern, it's crimson blood draining into the dirt as it let out it's last, deep breath. The gargantuan yao guai had finally been slain, and I had all but been saved. I looked down as I tried to move, my rear leg was nothing more than a mangled lump of flesh that was screaming at me to simply give up right here. I began to feel light headed, like everything seemed distant somehow as darkness clouded my vision.

Whomever my savior was, she must have been thinking something was funny, because she began to laugh. Wait, no. That wasn't a happy laugh, it was twisted in some way. The lantern grew closer, obscuring the one who had it.

"Ha ha ha ha... I guess this is irony," Wait, that voice! Mother had been the one who saved me! It was definitely her, I had just never heard her laugh before! She spoke up again, getting closer as I sat in the dirt holding the twisted remains of my leg. "I send you on a mission like this, using all my bribes and favors, just to get you killed, to be rid of you before you disgrace me any further, and I can't even sit back and let it happen!" She devolved into an obscene cackle.

"You... what?! Mom... I don't understand, what do you mean?!" I said as I tried to stay conscious through the pain. How could she say something like that? She never wanted me to die, all those times she beat me was just toughening me up... right? She couldn't hate her own son! I know I'm not as tough as dad, but with time, I could be! I winced and held my mangled wreck of a leg, hoping that we could get me back to the infirmary.

"I had hoped to be able to just let you go... to have some peace without your feeble attempts to have me gain some semblance of pride in you with your pathetic displays of 'prowess'!" She explained with a great waving of her talons. "To finally end your insufferable attempts of trying to live up to your fantasized notions of how great you thought your father is!"

"But, he died a mercenary, everyone said he was a legendary fighter!" I cried out to her, trying to pull myself along the ground towards her as she stood a ways in front of me, the pain from my leg was unimaginable. "How could you say that about him?"

"HA! Other than the brass up top, I was the only one who truly knew! How could I have told anyone else at the company that I had chosen a husband who left me as soon as the responsibility of being a parent broke him! He was a failure and he sired me another failure in kind! It's better that he be declared dead when he ran off than to disgrace the company!" Her bemused look returned as she continued, "and now I fail in turn. Does failure run concentrically, can it come 'full circle'?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, feeling tears welling up as I continued to crawl. Blinking them away didn't work, only leaving a red smear in my vision as I wept blood. There was a hollow feeling in my gut, a strange ringing in my ears. I stopped crawling and sat there staring for what felt an eternity, trying to speak but managed a mere whisper. "So, my life, our family, it was all a lie?"

She scoffed at the notion, "No, it's not a lie. It's all a joke, it's all a fucking joke! None of this matters!" She belted out, falling to her rump with a defeated look on her face.

I drug myself a bit closer before I tried in vain to stand. "Mom, it matters to me. Let's go home... please." I reached out to her, watching as she shook her head slowly.

"I just can't do it anymore," She muttered, "There's just nothing left." With a single tear she pulled her pistol, turning it on herself, and for the first and last time that I could remember...

...she smiled.

--------------

Level 1 reached!

Starting Trait:
Float like a Fluttershy
Flight ability is reduced by one rank. You are very capable on the ground, however, and recieve a 10% bonus to skill checks while all four legs are on a solid surface.
What's that? Only three? Prancer lost a leg already?! ...well then, I got nuthin', sorry.

Author's Notes:

Many thanks to Wirepony, No One, Deathpony, Mad Modd and Icekatze for the help in creating a name for our beleaguered protagonist! I could not for the life of me figure out a good one myself!

Eternal thanks to my editor, Gamma, without whom this story would just be a string of intolerably dry text!

Special thanks to the band, Sonata Arctica. their song "Caleb" was a major inspiration to this story.