"So, explain 'Theaphysics' again," Sunset Shimmer said as she opened a bottle of Ibuprofen and began to chug. Pinkie Pie pushed the bottle down before Sunset could swallow more than five pills and shook her head disapprovingly. Gravity continued to snore, and occasionally scratch himself, next to them.

"Theaphysics supersedes and creates the themes that underpin an existential ideaology of that which is greater than a zenith that is impassable – that is unknown and unknowable; continuously transcending the former existential ideaology, echoing so far that the existential ideaology might as well not even exist. Theaphysics itself creates its own branching and starts to create a greater logic."

The ponies stared at Xeranthemum for a moment. Then, Sunset Shimmer raised the bottle to her mouth once more while turning her tea into fresh, frothy apple cider.

"Too many pills is bad!" Pinkie Pie said as she pulled the bottle out of her friend's grip and capped it. "The apple cider is enough, but you have to change my tea, too. And do the whole tea kettle while you're at it."

"So, what are the laws of Theaphysics?" Sunset Shimmer asked as she fulfilled Pinkie Pie's request.

"In order to understand Theaphysics," Xeranthemum began. "Its context of description will be manipulated in order to serve a relation at the minimum. One of the inescapable truths is that we are all stories. Well, you're stories. I am not of Nothing, Totality, Possibility, or Uncertainty. I am not of anything except myself, and even then, I have transcended 'Self'. Like all Voyagers, I am beyond the supreme and impassable narrator, author, and series that is the Ace of Spades."

"If that's true, then what are you 'of'?" Pinkie Pie asked as she took a sip of her cider. "I mean, if you are only of yourself, yet you've transcended self, and you're above everything else, then there's nothing left for you to 'be of'. So you must 'be of' nothing, but you've transcended 'nothing' therefore you must be…"

The pony's eyes grew wide and she smiled, as if she had just answered a strange, new riddle.

"You're of Something!" Pinkie Pie yelled happily. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I figured it out!"

"Something is an abstract that falls under Totality," Xeranthemum said, confidently. "Therefore, I am beyond it."

"The abstracts you mentioned would arguably overlap," Sunset said as a she began to understand her friend's thoughts. "Possibility and Uncertainty would most definitely fall under Totality. The concept of Nothing wouldn't. Neither Possibility or Uncertainty would apply to Nothing, unless it were the possibility of something becoming nothing, and the uncertainty that arises from that."

"Yet I am beyond Totality and Nothingness. Therefore, I am beyond the concept of Something, since Something is synonyms with the Totality of Creation."

"Yet you're beyond Self, and therefore you shouldn't have a personality."

"I am a living contradiction. Or, I would be if I weren't beyond the concept of living and the concept of being a contradiction."

"So you're dead?" Pinkie Pie said as she took a large gulp from her cider.

"I am beyond the concept of Death."

"So you're neither dead or alive… I think you might be Schrodinger's Cat."

"I am beyond the concept of cats, too."

"Back on topic," Sunset Shimmer said, as politely as she could. "Theaphysics is all about stories."

"Yes," Xeranthemum said as she reached for the tea kettle.

"No," Pinkie Pie said as she swatted Xeranthemum's hand away. "Sunset and I need all the apple cider we can get or we'll have a nervous meltdown ourselves!"

She nodded at Sunset to continue while Xeranthemum rubbed the sore spot on her hand.

"So, Theaphysics must reach down to the lower tiers, because we create our own stories."

"Theaphysics underwrites Pataphysics, which in turn underwrites Metaphysics, which in turn…"

"Wait, did you just say 'Pataphysics'?" Sunset said, interrupting the Voyager.

"Yes, I did. Pataphysics is the ultimate reality beyond metaphysics. Metaphysics is a branch of philosophy attributed with explaining the fundamental nature of being and the world…

"Well, you've got it half right. Physics is focused on the nature of the world and the matter of the universe. Metaphysics is more abstract."

"And Pataphysics is more abstract still. It seeks to answer two questions: What is there? What is it like?"

"Are you sure 'Pataphysics isn't just a joke somepony made to insult a bad science teacher?" Pinkie Pie said.

"Pataphysics influences the definitions of Omnipotence, and those who use it are beyond Omnipotence," Xeranthemum said simply. "It lies around the roots of Absurdism, Surrealism, Dada…"

"So it's an artform?" Sunset Shimmer asked. "Absurdism and Surrealism reflect reality by using its extremes and distorting them. Surrealism is specifically cerebral in nature. It sought to unlock the potential of the unconscious mind i.e. writing about dreams and irrational juxtaposition to express art that was free of societal limitations."

"That is exactly what the Suggsverse achieves," Xeranthemum said as she looked down her nose at the ponies. "However, the Suggsverse isn't just free of societal norms. The Suggsverse is free of all norms that might relate it, or make it relatable to anything lower than itself. Metaphysics towers above physics in a way that is unrelatable and abstract. Pataphysics towers above Metaphysics in the same way. Cataphysics towers above everything, reaching beyond the zeniths that exist in each plane below it."

"But you said Absurdism, too. If 'Pataphysics is related to Absurdism, then there must be similarities between them. I read an old story once that had an interesting quote. It said 'The absurd is born out of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world.' But there's more…"

Suddenly, the building shook and the three people fell out of their chairs. Sunset Shimmer picked herself up off of the sleeping form of Gravity, gagging slightly from his smell.

"Oh, look!" Xeranthemum said, her smile awkward and defensive. "Unicron and Galactus are fighting outside! I hope we don't get eaten."

With that, she stood from her seat and ran to the window to watch the battle.

"Wait! We're not done here, yet. There's more!"

"I can't hear you," Xeranthemum yelled without turning away from the window. "I'm too busy fearing for my life!"

"I don't think we're gonna get much more out of her," Pinkie Pie said as she finished her cup of cider.

"Yeah, I don't think she knows what we want to know anyway," Sunset Shimmer said as she turned and walked to the door. "Let's go outside. We need to talk to Unicron."